Ed, Edd n Eddy: The Teen Series
by Easymac120
Summary: Join the Eds and their pals in their wild and hilarious high school adventures! Rated T for language, crude humor, sexual references, and some drug use. This week: THE FINAL CHAPTER! ED, EDD N EDDY'S FANTASTIC FINALE pt 4!
1. Party at My Ed pt 1

Hello dudes and babes, Easymac120 has returned and is back to business! But here's a few important things before you start reading:

1) For those who haven't read my "EEnE's Epic Edventure" fic , you probably don't know about the settings or my new characters (which differ slightly from Epic-Edventure). See my profile and you'll catch on quickly. However, the character profiles may still be in-progress and if so, they'll be finished by next chapter.

2) Dramatic or important lines will be in _italics _while flashbacks, dreams, fantasies and videos will be in **bold.**

Now that I'm done, you can sit back, enjoy, and review Ed, Edd n Eddy: The Teen Series!!!

* * *

**_Episode #1: Party at My Ed_**

* * *

In Double-D's room, the Eds are on Double-D's laptop (which he got over the timeskip).

"I hope this is quick, guys. I'm very busy today." Double-D says.

"Oh, there it is Double-D! Click on it!" Eddy points, and Double-D clicks. "Just look at what you missed, sockhead!"

**Youtube video: Kev's Party**

**Ed is recording an all-out party in Kevin's house. There's dancing, games, and plenty of booze. The song "Beat It" is being played (in tribute to Michael Jackson). Ed's currently on the 2nd floor with several others.  
**

**"Yo, Ed!" Eddy calls from off-screen, then appears from the hallway. He's wearing blue jeans and a black jacket. "Over here!"**

**"What?" Ed asks, unable to hear through the noisy party.**

**"Can you hear me?" Eddy asks.**

**"...Huh?" Ed asks. Eddy comes closer.**

**"Can you hear me now?" he asks.**

**"It's too loud in here, Eddy." Ed says.**

**Eddy goes right up to the cam: "HOW ABOUT NOW?!"**

**"Yeesh, you don't gotta yell." Ed says.**

**"Whatever, now come check this out!" Eddy leads Ed to the stairs, where a drunk guy is preparing to ride down on a rollerchair!**

**"DO IT, CORY!" Eddy eggs Cory on.**

**Ed focuses the cam on Cory, who looks at him: "Hey I'm Cory, and this is Jackass!! YEEEAH!!!" he shouts, then he rides the rollerchair downstairs. Hitting the bottom, he makes a fantastic wipeout and flies out through a window! Ed ran downstairs to record the whole thing.**

**"YAHOOO!!!" Eddy repeats what Cory did, but instead of flying, he skids along the floor and hits a wall.**

**"HAHAHA, I'll give a 9 for the stunt but a 2 for the landing!" Ed comments as Eddy gets up and wipes himself clean. Another guy repeats it and smashes onto the table, with not-so-pretty results. "Ouch..."**

**"Look, there's Nazz!" Eddy points to the off-screen Nazz.**

**"Hey Nazz, say somethin for the camera!" Ed zooms the camera on Nazz's face, and she smirks.**

**"Um, gimme a sec..." Nazz thinks. "Here's a shout-out to all my peeps to get up and let loose! WHOO!!"**

**Ed and Eddy continue into Kevin's garage, where techno music plays and a dance battle is taking place. "Here it goes!" Eddy exclaims.**

**Ed focuses on the dance battle: Kevin (wearing a tanktop and jeans) vs. another guy, and Kevin emerges victorious. Everybody whoops and cheers.**

**"That's what I'm talkin bout, baby!" someone cheers off-screen.**

**"Excellent, Kev!" Ed comments.**

**"Nah, it's nothin really!" Kevin replies, then calls out "NEXT!"**

**"Oh, lemme step up! Here, Eddy!" Ed gives Eddy the cam and he steps up to breakdance. Eddy turns the cam to himself to give a message:**

**_"Double-D, boy! You gotta come cause you're missin out on a shitload of fun here!"_ he says.**

**"It's the, um... bomb!" Rolf adds, wearing some odd puffy vest.**

**End Video**

Double-D leans back for a moment...

"Oh, come on. You know it's been ages since the last party you went to." Eddy says.

"It's ok if you can't dance, Double-D! I was horrible, but look at me now!" Ed says, posing.

"Look, fellas." Double-D explains. "I honestly enjoy joining in your ventures at parties and other social gatherings, but charity begins at home." he takes out a LONG list that extends out of his room and rolls down the hall, down the stairs, through a window, and all the way around the house's perimeter! _"Mother and Father have entrusted me to run the house and all related errands until they return from their honeymoon in Paris on Sunday."_

"Ugh, do those 2 ever give you a break these days?" Eddy asks. "Just forget em and come with us! This is a quiet neighborhood. It ain't like Julian's gonna charge in through your wall and destroy all your chinaware or somethin."

"Sorry, but I can't take chances with that, Eddy!" Double-D declines. "Mother and Father are depending on me. I can't afford to vacate this household for recreational motives."

"Come on, Double-D!" Ed begs. "Parties don't hurt... much."

"I am resolute, guys." Double-D escorts his friends out the front door. "There's no way I'm leaving my residence unattended to."

Double-D closes the door, and Ed and Eddy walk down the street.

"What a killjoy he is." Eddy mumbles.

"Man Eddy, Double-D's like a prisoner in his own home." Ed worries. "He'll become lifeless as a broomstick if this goes on."

"Tell me about it." Eddy agrees. "Does Ed n Eddy sound half as good as Ed, Edd n Eddy? HELL NO, and that's why we gotta get Double-D out of his house one way or another."

"Hey, Kyle!" Sarah's voice calls from the street corner. Ed and Eddy see her rushing across the street to meet up with Kyle. "You got any new songs on your guitar?"

"Wow, he! Didn't think my songs would peak your interest so much!" Kyle smirks.

"Well, do ya?!" Sarah asks a bit more impatiently.

"Yeah, totally!" Kyle answers. "But I'm kinda busy buyin some stuff right now. So you, Zoe and Jimmy just drop by my place at 5, kay!"

After overhearing Kyle, a lightbulb appears and shines above Eddy's head: _"That's it, Ed!_ _I know exactly what we gotta do now!"_

"Oh, do tell!" Ed says with interest, and Eddy starts whispering in his ear...

* * *

The next day at Peach Creek High, Nazz and Jenna are walking down a hallway with cards in their hands.

"Oh my God, _I can't believe he's actually throwing a party at his house!"_ Nazz exclaims.

"Don't you find it kinda ironic because I thought he had somethin like mysophobia or OCD." Jenna says._ "Always sayin things like 'messy messy messy.'"_

"Well, I guess that's sorta wierd." Nazz replies.

_"And yet, he's doin something that could very well destroy his house."_ Jenna says. "But hey, not my problem! I like it and I'm goin!"

After they walk by the front door, Double-D enters through it, wearing his school necktie. He notices that many of the students have cards.

"Everyone carrying cards, hmm?" he observes. "Strange, I don't recall any special events coming up anytime soon."

Jonny runs up to Double-D in excitement. "Glad to hear you're throwin a party, Double-D!"

"..... I beg your pardon?" Double-D asks as more people gather around him, causing him to bend back to the extent of almost hitting the floor.

"Your party!" Jonny casually repeats.

_"..... My party?"_ Double-D asks in confusion.

"You're throwin a party at your place, aren't ya?!" Jonny shows his card to Double-D, revealing that it's an invitation card._ "Everybody's talkin about it! We're stoked!"_

_"I have no idea what you're... Wait, who's passing out the invitations?"_ Double-D asks.

In another hallway, Paul is passing out invitations to everyone. _"Party at DD's place, ya'll! Lots of music, lots of food and even more sexy women!" _he announces as he hands invitations to Kevin and Rolf, who read through the invitations.

"Worrrd, the Ed-boy's residential bash's gonna be poppin!" Rolf exclaims. "Did Rolf use 'poppin' right?"

"I never thought it'd happen!" Kevin exclaims as he and Rolf continue on. "No way I'm missing this!"

"AND THERE HE IS, MAKE SOME NOISE!!" Paul points at Double-D as he rounds a corner. Everyone piles up on him to ask about the party, but Double-D pushes, crawls and sqeezes his way through to reach Paul. He fixes his outline, re-adjusts his hat and wipes the dust off himself.

"Eh, excuse me Paul! Regarding these invitations to my 'party'..."

"If you gonna ask who gave me these, _it was McMoney and Armpit!"_ Paul reveals...

* * *

At lunchtime, Ed and Eddy get their lunch, with Eddy sneaking several snacks when the lunch ladies aren't looking. They sit at a table, where an obviously angry Double-D awaits.

"Wassup, Double-D!" Eddy greets.

"Start talking." Double-D demands, unpacking his own lunch.

"About what?" Ed asks, swallowing his entire lunch (including the tray which he belches out).

"The invitations, guys." Double-D shouts. _"The invitations to the party I NEVER planned and that you 2 orchestrated behind my back."_

Ed laughs sheepishly. "Oh, um ehe... that's Eddy's department." he takes a big flashing arrow sign from his pocket via hammerspace and points it at Eddy. He then runs off, shouting "Gotta go, I got basketball practice!"

Double-D glares at Eddy...

"Ok alright, sorry for keepin it from ya." Eddy apologizes, flicking the arrow sign away. "But you gotta hear me out: everybody knows life's just a grand bore without a little spice every now and then. And since we can't bring you to it, we brought it to you! Pretty smart, eh?!"

"I hardly consider that as even REMOTELY smart." Double-D snaps. "What if something goes awry? Should that occur, then I'LL be the one taking the heat from Mother and Father. So I demand that you and Ed do away with ALL the invitations handed out so far."

"Come on man, everyone's gonna hate ya if you call it off." Eddy argues. "How about this: _Ed and I will prepare all the stuff, keep an eye on everyone and make sure nothin too extreme happens. We'll even clean up after it's over! We're your best buds and the party's only gonna last one night! Would we ever lie to you?!"_

Double-D thinks long and hard..... and sighs. "Fine._ But remember,_ _YOU and Ed are responsible for everything."_

"I pinky-promise, my good man!" Eddy promises. As they continue eating, Paul continues handing out invitations to everyone, including...

_"Here ya go Sweet Tooth, Grungy Blue n Buckwild!"_ Paul hands invitations to the Kankers! Then he continues on.

"Looks like your boy's throwin an everybody-get-freaky-fest at his place, Marie!" Lee says. "You goin?"

"HELL YEAH!" Marie answers in excitement.

**_To be Continued..._**

* * *

Trivia: Cory is named after Cory Toomey, one of the show's storyboard assistants.


	2. Party at My Ed pt 2

Here's "Party at My Ed" part 2!!!

I also completed my character profiles, but I'll edit them and add more as the series progresses.

* * *

The night of Double-D's party has come and people are already at his house, dancing to the music and playing games such as apple-bobbing and beer-chugging. Outside, Eddy serves as the welcome wagon. His hair is slicked back, and he's wearing a black-&-white suit and shoes, his shirt party undone to show off his chest hair.

"What's poppin, welcome-wagoning Ed-boy?!" Rolf greets. He's wearing an animal-skin cloak over his upper body, a beaver pelt hat, and several odd bracelets.

"Welcome, Stretch!" Eddy greets. "You bringin Julian over?"

"In a while, just you wait for it!" Rolf answers as he enters. Nazz and Jenna come, with their hair done into exquisite french twists. Nazz wears a purple dress exposing her upper back, purple shoes, and blue jeans. Jenna wears the same, but orange instead of purple. Nazz has a butterfly tattoo on her shoulderblade, while Jenna has a dragonfly tattoo.

"Ladies!" Eddy holds the door for them, and Jenna immediately enters the party.

"Thanks, Eddy!" Nazz thanks, and Eddy smacks her butt as she goes in.

* * *

A colorful disco ball shines down on everyone dancing in the living room. As DJ Plank spins the music, Jonny breakdances to it. He's wearing his gray sweater and blue adidas superstars instead of his sandals, with his beanie removed to show his afro; Plank wears a red neckerchief and headphones. Everybody cheers as Jonny breakdances. "YEEHAW!" he shouts.

Double-D, wearing a white buttoned shirt with a brown vest and blue jeans, goes around to remind people of the rules:

"Remember, people. No playing with the kitchenware, electrical appliances, or anything made of glass. And no tassling with Mother's curtains." then he calls up Ed and Eddy. Ed is wearing a flame-patterned shirt with a short-sleeved blue jacket.

"And you 2, remember the deal: _YOU must enforce the rules."_ Double-D says.

"Chill, we got things under control!" Eddy says, going to dance with the girls.

"No breaking of the rules yet!" Ed reports, then he's grabbed by Nazz.

"Come roll with me, Ed!" Nazz drags Ed into the dance crowd.

* * *

While Nazz dances with Ed, Jenna is grabbing a drink in the kitchen. Then Kevin comes, wearing a black tanktop, green jeans, and boots.

"What's goin on, Jenn?!" he asks.

"Oh, what are you doin here?" Jenna asks, annoyed by Kevin.

"Whoa, just wanted to say how hot you look tonight!" Kevin answers.

"Wow, you actually said somethin nice for once! Thanks!" Jenna thanks, blushing a bit.

"You do got pretty hot boobs, after all!" Kevin comments.

"What?" Jenna asks. _"You just like my boobs?"_

"No, I mean..." Kevin thinks. "Like, your boobs don't got any nasty veins stickin out like other-"

"You're so gross." Jenna walks away, leaving Kevin confused.

"WHAT, that was a compliment and I wasn't even finished!" Kevin tells her, but she continues away. _"Man, she's so pissy sometimes."_

"Yo, Kev!" Eddy calls out, and Kevin looks at him. _"I challenge ya to a drinkin contest!"_

"You're on, man!" Kevin accepts.

* * *

Booze is being passed between the dancers in the living room, and Ed & Nazz take some as they grind.

"Yo Armpit, pass that over here man!" Paul calls to Ed as he grinds on another girl, and Ed passes the booze to him. Paul is wearing a green camo shirt and black shorts, with his du-rag removed to reveal his cornrows.

"Guys, don't go too heavily on those." Double-D warns the dancers, then sees Eddy's and Kevin's drinking match. "EDDY!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!"

"Listen, I'm just... this won't take long, I promise." Eddy vows as he takes another shot. "That makes 23, and I'm still good!"

Kevin takes another shot. "That's 24 for me!"

"THIS IS NO TIME FOR STEELY LIVER-TESTING, EDDY!!" Double-D reprimands as the music turns louder. "Huh?"

Eddy continues drinking shots to top Kevin, and he fails to hear Double-D thanks to the loud music.

"TURN IT UP LOUDER, PLANK!!" Jonny shouts out.

* * *

Meanwhile, Sarah cannot sleep thanks to the booming music. She covers herself with her pillow, to no avail. She angrily gets up...

"No Sarah, remember what Kyle said." Sarah tells herself, and she takes deep breaths. "Think wide, open spaces!"

* * *

At the party, Jenna grinds on Double-D but he jumps back, sweating and scared. "Somethin wrong, Double-D?" she asks.

"Who me? No, it's just..." Double-D then hears screaming coming from upstairs. "Oh no..."

He follows the screaming up to his room, and SCREAMS when he sees 2 girls using his ant farm to torture the shirtless Paul. One girl is holding Paul in place while the other pours the ants onto his back!

"OHHHHHH YES!!! YESSS!!!" screams the masochistic Paul as the ants bite and sting his back. "YOU ARE NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY BITCHES!!!"

"MY ANT FARM!!!" Double-D screams in horror.

"These are your ants?" asks one of the girls.

Double-D contains his anger. "This is my room, and I won't tolerate you 3 violating it. So please return downstairs IMMEDIATELY!!"

"My bad, DD. I won't let these 2 talk me into anythin else. You got my word!" Paul says as he returns downstairs with the 2 girls. Double-D tries thinking of happy thoughts as he re-collects his scattered ants.

_"Don't lose your calm, Eddward. Think happy thoughts!"_ he tells himself until her hears puking. He discovers vomit in the hallway, leading to the bathroom. There, he finds a guy puking in the toilet.

"What are you lookin at?" the guy asks drunkenly.

_"Errrr, Ed and Eddy aren't living up to their promise."_ Double-D marches downstairs. "ED!!"

"He's outside." Nazz points to the backyard as she dances with Paul.

* * *

Double-D goes outside, and sees Jonny and Jenna playing Horseshoes. But what really shocks Double-D is when he sees Ed and Rolf building a makeshift arena with boards and junk.

"Oh hey, Double-D!" Ed waves. "Just buildin the rodeo arena!"

"... Did you just say 'rodeo?'" Double-D asks in horror.

"Yes, he who throws a fine poppin bugaloo!" Rolf answers. _"Your fellow Ed boys requested I bring Julian over as a rodeo game. And a poppin one, it'll be! Come single-D Ed boy, let's go get Julian!"_

"YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!!!" Double-D shouts as Ed and Rolf go to get Julian.

"IT'S UNDER CONTROL, I SWEAR!!!" Ed reassures.

"NO, I WILL NOT-" Double-D is hit in the head with a horseshoe and falls. He hears Jenna's "Oh my God, I'm so sorry! Are you ok?"

"Elementary, my dear Watson!" a dazed Double-D answers.

* * *

Jenna and Jonny bring Double-D back to his couch and apply an icebag. "See Jenn, I told you not to play Horseshoes under the influence." Jonny reprimands Jenna.

_"Under the influence..."_ Double-D looks around, and sees several drunk people playing with his kitchenware, smashing several plates in the process. Then he sees drunk Horseshoe players breaking windows with badly mis-aimed throws. THEN he sees more people puking, and the beer-chugging is out of control!

"THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!!!" he screams, then sees that Eddy's drinking contest ended. He makes a beeline towards Eddy: "YOU PINKY-PROMISED TO KEEP THESE PEOPLE IN LINE!!!"

_"Oh ok, I'm... I'm on it!"_ a drunken Eddy goes up in front of everybody. _"Ok, guys! Double-D's... he's pissed like hell and... and now I gotta lay it down, ehehe! I just gotta say... ehe!... You guys are... You guys.. You guys are just all so sexy and... and... ohhhh God....."_

Eddy collapses into a pile of bottles, and Double-D slaps his forehead in frustration. He takes out an airhorn and blows it to silence the party.

"Ok, listen up, people." he begins. "I have clearly said NOT to get reckless and to keep things in order, not mutilate EVERYTHING in my house. Look around, and tell me what you see. What do you see, hmm?"

"Stop being a douche, man." a drunk Kevin retorts, nearly puking but he swallows it.

_"See, this is precisely what I'm talking about."_ Double-D says. _"This is MY house, and I've had it up to here with all your antics. So I've decided to-"_

The front door slams open, and the Kankers enter! Lee's hair is tied back and has a crab tattoo on her arm. She wears a green knee-length dress, black stillettos, and sunglasses. Marie's hair is loose but she still has her hat. She wears a long-sleeved black-&-white-striped belly shirt, green calf-length jeans with a purple belt, and purple converses. May tied her hair into twin braids and shifted her bow to the top, replacing her kerchief. She wears a pink shoulder-revealing shirt patterned with red flowers, red shorts, and red pumps.

"Oh, my..." Double-D stutters.

"Everyone's so quiet" May notices. "Is it over already?"

"Nah, it started barely an hour ago!" Lee answers. _"Ok people, let's get this party STARTED!"_

Everyone complies and the party resumes with even louder music, much to Double-D's frustration- and Sarah's chagrin as she still can't sleep. Her eye twitches...

* * *

Eddy and Kevin stumble around, still drunk.

_"Hey, Kev! See this woman here?"_ Eddy approaches Lee. _"I bet ya 20 bucks I could... rock her world better than you ever can!"_

_"Yeah well... eh... we'll see about that!"_ Kevin replies before Lee shoves him away and takes Eddy with joy!

Double-D tries in vain to stop the reckless partiers: "NO, NO! STOP IT! YOU, DON'T TOUCH THAT!"

"Hiya, pumpkin!" Marie's arm reaches for Double-D and pulls him towards her on the dance floor. _"Let's get crazy!"_

"WAIT!" Double-D begs as Marie dips and swings him around amorously. "MARIE, PLEASE! Before we tango any further , um..."

"What?" Marie asks.

_"I... I just wanted, um... to say that..."_ Double-D sweats nervously.

"You gonna talk or what?" Marie asks impatiently. Then a loud CRASH is heard from the kitchen. Double-D, Marie and several others check it out. A huge hole was made in the kitchen wall.

_"MY KITCHEN!!!"_ Double-D screams. The hole was made by Rolf's brown bull, Julian, who roars and bucks around the backyard as Ed hangs onto him. The arena built for him was destroyed.

"NO WORRIES, YO!! THINGS WILL BE POPPIN IN NO TIME!!" Rolf runs after Julian, attempting to stop him with a lasso. "COME HERE, JULIAN!!!"

"SORRY ABOUT THE WALL, DOUBLE-D!!" Ed apologizes as he hangs onto the bucking Julian. "BUT JULIAN TORE DOWN THE ARENA, SO WE GOTTA REBUILD IT!!!"

"I CALL NEXT!!" Jonny shouts excitedly.

"Says you!" Marie knocks Jonny aside. "I WANNA BULLRIDE NEXT!!"

While Jonny and Marie squabble with each other and several others, Double-D runs around in panic as the party tears his house apart. With Ed handling Julian and Eddy drunkenly giving a lapdance to a gleeful Lee, Double-D's eyes spiral as he finally goes into free-fall hysteria!

_"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!"_

Seeing Double-D running around maniacally, Nazz grabs him and tries to restrain him, covering his mouth but he still struggles hysterically. May rushes in to help, bringing them to the sofa where Nazz holds Double-D down and May forces booze down his gullet, relaxing him somewhat.

"Ok, Double-D. You feel better?" Nazz asks, but Double-D still jitters. "May, get him a drink while I bring him upstairs."

"Sure thing." May goes as Nazz escorts Double-D to his room: "Just stay here and have a drink until you feel better, ok dude?"

Nazz blows Double-D a kiss as she leaves him. Then May comes in with several bottles of booze.

"Drink up, and you'll be a happy boy!" May says, taking a bottle for herself.

_"Well, I could sure use alcohol's more agreeable effects."_ Double-D drinks a bottle, then he's happily back up on his feet. May then takes him back down to the party, where his heightened sense of pleasure causes him to drink more with the others. Eventually, he himself gets wasted and carried away with the party!

_"WHOOOHOOOOO!"_ Double-D shouts in drunken joy as he parties with everyone.

"THERE YA GO!" Kevin shouts as he grinds on a drunk Jenna, who turns and makes out with him. Ed, intoxicated himself and thus unknowingly grinding on May, starts recording with his webcam as Double-D chugs beer, shouts to have the music turned up, and even grinds on Marie!

"I LIKE THIS, WHOO!" Marie grinds with her boyfriend.

By now, Sarah snaps as the exceedingly loud music rocks her house.

_"Errr, THAT'S IT!"_ Sarah storms outside, towards Double-D's house (which is rocking back-&-forth), and bangs on the door. Double-D opens it, with a wide drunken smile. _"YOU LISTEN TO ME, MISTER! PEOPLE ARE TRYNA SLEEP HERE, SO YOU BETTER TONE THINGS DOWN RIGHT NOW OR ELSE-"_

Sarah's interrupted when Double-D PUKES all over her, shoop-da-whoop style!

* * *

The next morning, everyone is gone. Double-D awakens on his stairs. "Oh, my aching head." he gets up, stumbles around a bit...

_"HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!!"_ he sees the house in ruins, with bottles, broken glass, horseshoes, apple cores, pictures and toilet paper scattered around. The walls, windows and furniture are horribly damaged, and Double-D even discovers his dad's paperwork among the rubble!

He hears his mom's voice...

"My curtains... My living room... MY HOOOUUUUUSE!!!!!" she screams as she and her husband enter through the busted doorway. Double-D's parents are tall and slim, their faces moderately resembling Double-D's. Both have black hair (with Father having gray streaks and a moustache), and Father wears glasses. Having just returned from Paris, they're wearing colorful vacation attire with French souvenirs.

"MY PAPERWORK!!!" Double-D's dad screams and looks angrily at Double-D, who trembles in terror: "So this what I return from Paris to find, eh, Eddward?_ YOU are in a WORLD of trouble, young man..."_

* * *

At Eddy's house, Eddy is on the family computer with Ed to check out Ed's video of Double-D's party. He laughs as Ed and Double-D grind on May & Marie, but turns paper-white upon seeing himself lap-dancing on Lee.

"ED!! WHY'D YOU POST THIS, YOU IDIOT!!?" he asks angrily.

"I DIDN'T KNOW, I WAS STILL DRUNK!" Ed answers.

"WE GOTTA GET RID OF THIS SHIT BEFORE ANYONE ELSE SEES IT!!!" Eddy panics.

**The End!!!**

* * *

Hope you enjoyed my 1st episode!!! Advice: Don't drink too much.

I've been thinking of deleting Epic Ed-venture after watching BPS, but I also considered keeping it for memories. I haven't decided yet.


	3. Eds Gone Wild pt 1

I decided to keep Epic Edventure for memories and so people could read it, but remember: _it's a seperate continuity from this teen series._

Anyway, here's episode 2!!!

* * *

**_Episode #2: Eds Gone Wild_**

* * *

The students of Peach Creek Jr. High are on a field trip to the zoo, where peacocks run loose. Sarah, Jimmy, Kyle and Zoe, all wearing animal hats, follow their teacher through various exhibits.

"Look at those graceful grazers!" Jimmy says at the Savanna exhibit full of antelope, zebras and ostriches.

"Reminds me when I lived back at Pomelo Beach!" Kyle exclaims at the Seashore exhibit full of crabs, shells, starfish and other seashore denizens.

"Those birds are so colorful!" Sarah points at the parrots, toucans and hornbills in the Jungle exhibit.

"Big cats ROCK!" Zoe exclaims at the lion and tiger cages, about to jump in but Kyle stops her. The class stops at the amphitheater to watch a show.

"Take seats, class!" their teacher instructs, and all the students except Zoe do so.

"Lemme take a whiz first, Ms. Daly." Zoe goes off to the bathroom as the show begins. 2 zookepers come onstage with megaphones and a monkey.

"HEY, EVERYONE! HOW ARE YA'LL DOIN TODAY?!" one of them asks, and the audience cheers and whoops.

"Wonderful!" the other says. "Today, we're doin some 'monkey business' with our friend here, Winston!" everyone cheers for Winston. "But for our 1st act, we need a kid to volunteer! Who wants to come up?"

"OH, OH!! ME, PICK ME!!" Jimmy jumps, waving his arms.

"Ok, you over there! Come on up!" the zookeepers call Jimmy up.

* * *

Meanwhile, Zoe finishes in the bathroom. "Better get back to the..."

Zoe's adventurous eyes are caught by the elephant exhibit across from her. _"Most WICKED!"_ she shouts, and sneaks to the elephant enclosure through the back. Inside, she stealthily sneaks past the feeding elephants and climbs up a tree. One of the elephants passes under it...

"YAHOO!!" Zoe drops onto the elephant's back, suprising him and he honks in alarm. _"Let's go for a ride, buddy! Yip yip!"_

She pulls on the elephant's ears to get him moving, but causes him pain instead. The elephant romps around in agony, blindly ramming into other elephants and through the enclosure's wall, starting mayhem as all the crazed elephants charge out into other parts of the zoo.

* * *

At the monkey show, everyone hears the rampaging elephants.

"What the?..." Kyle sees one of the elephants storming into the amphitheater. "WHOA!!"

"TAKE COVER, KIDS!!" Ms. Daly and the other teachers jump away with their students to dodge the elephant as it runs through the seat rows.

"AAAAAHHH!!!" Jimmy and the 2 zookeepers scream, their performance with Winston interrupted as they take cover to dodge the elephant smashing into the stage. Winston scampers away.

"WHAT'S GOING ON?!" Sarah asks as she looks up... and sees the elephants storming all over the zoo, smashing and destroying cages & exhibits, releasing the animals inside them. They join the elephants in attacking and throwing around zoo-goers and zookeepers.

"GUYS, WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE NOW!" Kyle shouts as he helps Jimmy offstage, and Sarah joins them to escape the zoo with their class. Once they're on the street, goats and llamas seperate the students and teachers.

_"Wait, where's Zoe?!"_ Jimmy asks, and Sarah's & Kyle's eyes bug out. They see a STAMPEDE of antelope, deer, zebras, giraffes, ostriches, other birds, hippos, hogs, tapirs, llamas, camels and elephants thundering out of the zoo towards them!!!

Sarah and Kyle leap away in time, but Jimmy is caught in the middle and tossed about. "JIMMY!!!" Sarah screams as the stampede takes Jimmy away.

"Sarah, we got company!" Kyle points at an angry rhino, his eyes dead-set on him and Sarah. He charges!

"Stand back, Kyle!" Sarah braces herself.

"ARE YOU CRAZY?!! YOU CAN'T FIGHT A RHINOCEROS!!" Kyle tries warning Sarah, but she ignores. She grabs the rhino's horn once he reaches her, but she's quickly outmatched and is soon hanging onto the horn for dear life.

"KYLE, DO SOMETHING!!!" Sarah screams as the rhino flings her into the sky, then looks at Kyle.

_"Um... Easy, big dude!......"_ Kyle runs screaming, the rhino close behind. Sarah falls back down and grabs onto the rhino's tail, hanging on as the beast chases Kyle. In the stampede...

"HELP, SOMEBODY!!!" Jimmy screams as the animals toss him about, but he eventually lands safely atop a hippo. "Whew, what a ride!"

"I know, right?!" Zoe calls from atop a giraffe as it passes by Jimmy & the hippo. She reaches for Jimmy and lifts him onto the giraffe with her. "This is so much fun!"

"You call this FUN?!" Jimmy asks.

"Just sit back and enjoy the thrill ride while it lasts! _I'll apologize to everyone later!"_ Zoe says, returning to enjoying herself.

_"... Apologize?..."_ Jimmy asks suspiciously as he and Zoe ride atop the stampede. Meanwhile, other zoo animals wreak havoc across the surrounding towns, including Peach Creek.

* * *

Zoo birds soar above the cul-de-sacs as a female goat wanders into Rolf's farm, where Rolf is busily feeding the chickens. The cows and Julian are eating hay while Fido the sheepdog watches over the sheep herd.

Victor, Wilfred, and a female pig named Meggy are drinking water. Victor's horns have grown longer and curved back. Wilfred hasn't changed. Meggy is white with black patches and a pink nose.

"Why must Rolf always carry out Papa's orders of domestic duty?" Rolf mumbles as he feeds the chickens, while the female goat passes behind him. Victor looks up and sees her... and is instantly smitten! He calls out to the female goat, who looks at him. But then she prances away, and so Victor jumps the fence to chase after her. In the meantime, Rolf finishes feeding the chickens and sees that Victor disappeared.

"Victor... Victor, show yourself this instant..... VICTOR!" Rolf searches the farm, but can't find Victor. "He's gone. Rolf must utilize the Perch of the Hawk's Eye."

Rolf sits on the Perch of the Hawk's Eye, a mechanical chair near the shed. He pulls a lever on it, which raises the chair about 50 feet in the air. From his high position (hence the chair's name), Rolf uses a telescope to search the neighborhood for Victor, but he's nowhere to be found.

"A dire emergency, Rolf has. Summon assistance, I must!" Rolf lowers the chair, picks up Meggy and yanks her tail like a string, making her SQUUUEEEAAAL in pain. This acts as an emergency call that summons the Eds to the farm.

"An emergency, Rolf? What happened?" Double-D asks.

"Rolf has summoned you here today to aid Rolf in his search for the runaway Victor." Rolf explains.

"Victor ran away?" Ed and Double-D ask in shock.

"YES! MUST ROLF REPEAT EVERYTHING?!" Rolf regains his composure. "We shall split the search into 3: Rolf will search down the lane, through the Woods of Unforgivingness, and over the Summits of Waste. Pheasant Tail (Ed) will search the park, the cul-de-sacs, and down the street to the Shop of Sugary Sweetness. Turkey Eyes (Double-D) will search the opposite way, past the Middle Dungeon of Education, and around the High Dungeon of Education. And lastly, Nincompoop (Eddy) will remain here, watch over the livestock, and milk the cows in the process."

"Aye-aye, boss!" Ed affirms.

"Why do I gotta watch the animals?" Eddy protests.

"Do not challenge Rolf's authority, Nincompoop." Rolf warns. "Now MOVE OUT! WILFRED AND MEGGY, COME WITH ROLF!"

Rolf (with the pigs) and Ed begin the search, while Eddy grumbles: "Why the hell am I still a damn Nincompoop after working 3 months?"

"I believe it's due to your unyielding hatred for all that is feathery, Eddy." Double-D answers, indicating Rolf's chickens. "Now excuse me, I must be getting to the search."

Eddy is left alone on the farm. "Why did I let Monobrow and Super Chin sweet-talk me into this stupid job? All this dirty work ain't even worth 65 bucks a week."

Just as he starts milking the cows, he hears monkey noises...

"Huh?..." Eddy looks around, then sees Fido barking up a tree. "Fido? What is it, boy?"

Fido growls at something in the tree. Eddy goes and looks up, seeing Winston the monkey!

"Whoa, it's that show monkey Winston!" Eddy jumps with glee, and he thinks of something: "If I can get my hands on him and keep him for a while, he'll make me a fortune!"

Eddy climbs up to get Winston, but Winston heads further up. Eddy follows, but then Winston descends onto a thin branch, so when Eddy follows him, the branch snaps and Eddy falls and hits his head. Winston jumps out of the tree and onto the lane's fence, laughing at Eddy. Fido barks at Winston, who makes faces at Fido before jumping to the opposite fence.

"Why you little..." Eddy grumbles, preparing to chase Winston. But remembering he can't leave Rolf's farm, he makes a cardboard standee of himself as a substitute before chasing Winston down the lane: "COME BACK, WE CAN MAKE MONEY!"

* * *

Nazz's doorbell rings, and she opens it to see Ed: "Nazz, you seen Victor anywhere 2 minutes ago?"

"No. Sorry Ed." Nazz answers, and Ed leaves. Nazz then goes through her living room to a connecting nursery (added during the timeskip), where several toddlers play with toys and games.

"Here's your nuts, Tommy and Timmy!" she gives 2 bags of nuts to twin brothers. "Remember to eat em at the little table!"

"Yes, Mommy Nazz!" the twins eat at a little table in the back of the room. Then a girl complains: "It's stuffy in here, Mommy Nazz."

"Then I'll let in some fresh air!" Nazz opens up the room's windows. Then she hears the phone ringing.

"Excuse me a minute, kids!" Nazz rushes to the living room to answer one of 2 phones: "Van Bartonschmeer Babysitting & Daycare Service! How may I help you?"

In the nursery, the toddlers see a talking parrot on the window: "Hey, those nuts ya got there?" he asks the twins, then calls out to more zoo birds flying above. When Nazz returns...

"Ok, kids! It's time for- AAAH!!" Nazz sees a flock of parrots, toucans and hornbills squabbling against the toddlers for the twins' nuts, with lots of squawking, screaming and pecking. "NO NO NO, GET OFF!!"

She tries throwing the birds off the toddlers, only to get attacked herself. "OW, AAH!!" she gets pecked and wing-slapped until she's knocked to the floor. The talking parrot, perched on a coat-hanger, laughs.

"Hahaha! Ya may be hot, tuts, but ya don't seem too bright cause that was pathetic!" he mocks.

"Shouldn't you be at the zoo or somethin?" Nazz asks.

"We got out, dumb blondie; it's all over the news!" the parrot answers. "We're free and can do whatever we want now! So make yourself useful and bring some nuts n fruit for me and my peeps."

* * *

Victor amorously chases the female goat through the woods, but she rebuffs all of Victor's advances. As he calls out to her again, he hears Rolf in the distance...

"Victor!... Oh, Victor..." Rolf is riding a cart pulled by Wilfred and Meggy, so Victor lays low to avoid being seen. Then he hears the pigs' sqeals and a ROAR!

"WHOA!!" Rolf leaps off the cart to dodge a lion's claws, and immediately pulls a staff from his pocket via hammerspace. Wilfred and Meggy run for cover as a tiger jumps behind Rolf and ROARS! The 2 cats circle Rolf: "Quite a predicament, this is. But some of Rolf's ancestors fought in the Roman Colisseum! Their warblood flows through Rolf's vessels, SO COME UNTO ME, FELINES!!!"

The lion-tiger duo attacks, and Rolf quickly dodges and attacks with his staff. He whacks the tiger into a tree and rips the lion's mane, making him SCREAM! Victor runs off as Rolf grabs the lion's tail, swings him at the tiger, then throws him away. But the tiger lunges at Rolf, sending them tumbling down into the junkyard. The tiger breaks Rolf's staff and rips his shirt off, but Rolf still fights bare-handed. The lion dives down to ambush Rolf, but Rolf ducks and the lion crashes into the tiger, KO-ing the tiger. The lion recovers and ROARS at Rolf, who shouts a war-cry and they dash towards each other. Rolf grabs the lion's open jaws (mirroring the King Kong/T-rex fight) and wrestles him to the ground. He takes a few hits, but keeps pummeling the lion with all his strength, slamming him through a rusty car to finally defeat him. Despite his injuries, Rolf whistles to Wilfred and Meggy to continue the search for Victor.

* * *

In the lane, Eddy sets up a box trap, then gets a bananna.

"No primate could resist!" he chuckles as he sets the bananna in the trap to lure Winston. He waits behind the dumpster, ready to pull the trap's string as soon as Winston takes the bait. Then he hears something behind him. "Huh?..."

He sees a 20-dollar bill on the ground. "20 bucks?... OH BOY!" he rushes to take the 20, but instead drops into a pitfall trap. Eddy recovers, looks up, and sees Winston holding a shovel (meaning HE dug the trap) and laughing at Eddy!

"Errr..." Eddy tries climbing out as Winston merrily takes the bananna and leaves. "GET BACK HERE, YOU-" Eddy slips back into the hole.

**To be Continued...**

* * *

Trivia: Ms. Daly is named after one of the show's producers, Samantha Daly.

Also, thanks to Neo H.B.B Sam for inspiring me to add the sheepdog, Fido.


	4. Eds Gone Wild pt 2

I made a few errors last chapter, but I fixed them. I also edited Jonny's bio on my profile. Anyway, read on!

* * *

Kevin wears his flame-patterned helmet as he rides his motorcycle down a street, stopping at a red light.

"Yo CK, what's crackin?!" Paul calls out as he and Jonny arrive at the intersection.

"Oh, nothin much." Kevin answers. "Just the usual with Jenna bein uptight like always."

The ground starts rumbling. "What's goin on?..." Jonny asks. Then the stampede THUNDERS into the intersection, causing a massive traffic jam as they run by, knocking aside everything in their way. A man does the Wilhelm Scream as he's tossed into the air by an elephant! Kevin turns tail and zooms away as the stampede starts breaking up, and police arrive to deal with the situation.

"WHOA!!" Jonny jumps into a bush, where he takes out Plank from his backpack. "You ok, Plank?...... _Yeah, that's a good idea!"_

"AHAHAHAHA, WHOOHOO!!" Zoe shouts excitedly as she rides an ostrich that seperates from the stampede, while Jimmy still holds onto the giraffe. He looks at the upcoming intersection, and sees his parents' station wagon! Jimmy's dad strongly resembles him and wears a flat cap, but his mom is overweight and has dark hair. She panics (much like her son) as the seemingly endless stampede rumbles on.

"AAAAAHHH, GET US OUTTA HERE!!!" Jimmy's mom shakes her husband.

"MOM, DAD!!!" Jimmy jumps animal-to-animal to reach his parents before passing the intersection. Unfortunately, he slips on an elephant and slides down its trunk, but still holds on. Then he realizes this: _"... Um, ehehe!... Hi, Mr. Elephant!..."_

The elephant tosses Jimmy into the air, and he drops down towards Paul. "I GOTCHA, SLIM JIM!!" he catches Jimmy, but the force of Jimmy's fall knocks them both into a sewer, where alligators swim.

"EEEEEK!!!" Jimmy jumps onto Paul's head to avoid a gator's jaws. Paul punches the gator's nose, jumps out of the sewage, and runs with Jimmy on his head.

"YIKES!!!" Paul jumps over numerous gators as they emerge from the sewage to attack. One rips his pants off, revealing polka-dot boxers! "SHIT!!"

* * *

At Nazz's house, the birds drive the toddlers out through her back door. Jenna comes and rings the doorbell.

"COMING!" Nazz shouts, but the birds jump her and force her into giving them the nuts and fruit in her refrigerator.

"We want ALL of it, blondie. Don't try pullin any fast ones." the talking parrot warns.

"There's no more." Nazz shows the refrigerator, devoid of nuts and fruit. "Now just let me get the door."

Jenna rings the doorbell again. The talking parrot looks at Nazz: "Eh, forget whoever that is. You're takin us to another source."

_"Source?"_ Nazz asks. _"What are you-"_

"More nuts n fruit, dummy." the parrot answers. _"Other houses, stores, restaurants. We don't care, you're gettin us some food."_

"No, I'm done with you guys. I'm calling Animal Control." Nazz says, but the birds jump her again! Jenna rings the doorbell again...

"Hmm, guess nobody's home." Jenna starts walking away when she sees a panda cub stop in front of her. "Oh, a panda cub! Ay que lindo, come here!"

The cub whines Jenna looks around for it's mother, but she's nowhere in sight. "Hey, come here! Come on! Let's find your mom and get you both back to the zoo!" she picks up the cub. But just as she starts the search, she hears growling...

"Huh?..." Jenna sees the mother panda emerge from a bush, red with anger at Jenna holding her cub. _"Oh, uh... I... found your cub!... Um, here ya go!"_

Jenna gives the cub, but the still-angry mother claws at her. Jenna runs, screaming for help in Spanish as the mother panda gives chase. They pass by Ed at the candy shop, but before he can do anything...

"WHOA!" Ed leaps away to dodge the stampede animals as they scatter about.

* * *

In the playground, Winston is juggling balls for practice.

"Hey, Winston!" Eddy comes, also juggling balls. Winston actually smiles at this! "That's right, boy! We could make a real good act juggling back-&-forth. Let's try it out!"

Eddy and Winston juggle their balls back-&-forth between each other. But just when Eddy thinks he'll become rich, Winston speeds up the juggling by using his feet and tail in addition to his hands!

"Hey, slow down! I can't-" Eddy is smacked by one of Winston's flying balls. Winston laughs as he throws all the balls at Eddy super-fast, pelting him (with a slow-motion segment) until he's knocked down. When Eddy gets up...

"Grrrrr, I'VE HAD IT! COME HERE, YOU LITTLE BASTARD!" Eddy chases Winston angrily, but Winston outmanuevers him over the monkey bars, slide, and swings. He even jumps on one side of the seesaw to whack Eddy's chin with the other side, dazing him! When he recovers, he sees what appears to be Winston's tail behind a bush... "GOTCHA!"

Eddy grabs the tail, discovering it's actually a joey (a baby kangaroo). Winston watches in amusement as the mother kangaroo KICKS Eddy, sending him head-first through a tree and knocking him unconscious!

* * *

Victor chases the female goat into the PCH schoolgrounds. She finally stops for him, and he baahs in excitement. But as he approaches her, another goat, a male, jumps in. He also wants the female, and sparks fly between him and Victor. They size each other up, then they clash horns. They push each other back-and-forth, chase each other, and clash horns again and repeat the process. Their battle takes them onto the street, where Double-D is searching. He is confused to see numerous animals in the neighborhood.

"Zebras, llamas, peacocks?... How did these all..." Double-D then sees Victor clashing with his opponent. "VICTOR!"

Victor continues fighting until he defeats the rival male and chases him off. Then he goes to the female, checks her out, and...

"Is Victor about to... _No, Rolf won't accept THAT!"_ Double-D runs to stop Victor from mating! _"VICTOR, NO!!"_

Nearby, Zoe rides the ostrich when police parallel them: "Little girl, get off!" an officer calls out as he aims a tranquilizer dart at the ostrich.

"Ok!" Zoe jumps off right before the ostrich is shot and tranquilized- and she lands on Victor just as he was about to mount the female goat! Caught by suprise, Victor jumps up and zigzags away as Zoe rides on him. The female goat simply leaves.

"Was that Zoe?..." Double-D asks in wide-eyed shock. But then he hears Sarah's & Kyle's distant screams... "Oh dear, that can't be good..."

* * *

Sarah still hangs onto the rhino's tail as he chases Kyle into the 2nd cul-de-sac.

"NOT COOL, NOT COOL!!!" Kyle screams as he runs into his house, which is beach-themed. But the rhino plows through his front wall and messes up the inside, scattering furniture, surfboards, various surf trophies, and other tropical items. Sarah falls off the rhino's tail, and helps Kyle out of the rubble and onto his lawn.

"Kyle, are you ok?" Sarah asks. "You need anything?"

"My guitar..." Kyle utters as he gets up. "Is my guitar alright?"

Sarah smacks Kyle: "HOW CAN YOU THINK OF YOUR GUITAR AT A TIME LIKE THIS?!!"

They see the rhino preparing another charge. But then... "HEY, CHASE ME!!"

Sarah and Kyle watch as the rhino turns towards Double-D, who tries luring hm away. "DOUBLE-D, DON'T!!" Sarah screams, because Double-D is quickly sent on the run as the rhino chases HIM!!

Then the zoo birds storm into Kyle's wrecked kitchen with Nazz in tow: "This house is totaled, so the goodies are free for the taking! Now get em for us!" the talking parrot orders Nazz, who runs towards Sarah and Kyle.

"HELP ME GRAB THEM!!" Nazz shouts, and Sarah & Kyle quickly help her try to catch the now-furious birds. Ed and Rolf, Wilfred & Meggy arrive nearby.

"Any luck with Victor, Pheasant Tail?" Rolf asks.

"No, boss." Ed answers. "But there's zoo animals everywhere!"

"HELP!" Nazz, Sarah and Kyle call out, and Ed & Rolf help them control the parrots zipping around the 2nd cul-de-sac.

"YOU'RE MESSIN WITH THE WRONG BIRDS!" the talking parrot yells as he and his flock overpower Nazz, Sarah, Kyle, Ed and Rolf through sheer numbers, biting beaks, beating wings, and slashing claws. Ed sees the rhino chasing Double-D but can't help, due to the birds jumping him.

"ARGH!!" Ed screams.

"THERE'S TOO MANY!!" Sarah screams as the birds knock them all down, but then...

"YO BIRDS, YA HUNGRY?!" Jonny calls from the street corner, covered head-to-toe in nuts and fruit bits along with Plank!

"AH, SWEET!!" the talking parrot shouts excitedly, then he bird-talks to his flock and they fly over to Jonny. Everyone gets up, brushing off feathers.

"RUN, GUYS!!!" Double-D screams as the rhino chases him back into the 2nd cul-de-sac. Everyone takes cover except Ed. "ED, WHAT ARE YOU-"

Ed throws Double-D into the safety of a bush with the others, then he grabs the rhino by his horn! After 3 seconds of struggle, Ed overpowers the rhino, slams his head to the ground, and THROWS him several blocks away!!!

"Well, I guess that solves our pachyderm problem." Double-D says as Sarah hugs Ed.

_"Dude, that was KILLER!"_ Kyle praises Ed.

"Thanks, but what I wanna know is how all these animals escaped." Ed says.

"Indeed, Rolf has encountered numerous exotic beasts n critters." Rolf says.

_"Elephants trashed the zoo."_ Sarah explains. _"But I don't know how THEY got loose."_

_"I DO!!"_ Jimmy emerges from the sewers with Paul, who slams the manhole cover on an alligator to keep it from surfacing.

"JIMMY!" Sarah rushes over in relief.

"Tell us, Jimmy. How did the elephants escape?" Double-D asks.

_"It was Zoe!"_ Jimmy answers: _"I don't know how, but she told me something that gave her away!"_ he flashes back to when Zoe said she would _**"apologize to everyone later!"**_

"No way!" Nazz responds.

"That girl's crazy, yo." Paul says. Then they hear Jenna's screams, seeing the panda mom chasing her down the street.

"HELP ME, GUYS!!" Jenna runs across an intersection. Meanwhile, Kevin's coming down the same intersection to escape from the animals, and he sees Jenna running across. Thus he fails to see the pursuing panda, and his motorcycle collides with the panda.

"WHOOOAAAAA!!!" Kevin flies through the air, and drops down towards Zoe and Victor.

"FASTER, VICTOR!..... Huh?..." Zoe looks up, and Kevin SLAMS onto her & Victor, knocking them all through a mailbox where they get stuck!!

The others saw all of this, and they head over to Kevin, Zoe and Victor. The 3 spit mail out of their mouths.

"VICTOR!" Rolf pulls Victor out. _"Rolf's giving you a 3-shoe beating once we return home!"_

_"Now as for YOU, Zoe..."_ Double-D says as everyone glares at Zoe...

_"Ehehe! No hard feelings, right?!"_ Zoe asks with a sheepish grin.

* * *

At sunset, we see Winston pouring a bag of black fur onto the still-unconscious, glue-covered Eddy! When he's done, Eddy looks like a chimpanzee! Winston laughs, failing to notice the zookeeper coming from behind. The zookeeper catches Winston in a net.

Winston is caged and thrown into one of numerous trucks, which police and zookeepers are loading the captured animals into to return them to the zoo. The zoo birds are eating the nuts & fruit on Jonny as he lures them into a truck.

"This truck's really takin us to more nuts n fruit?!" the talking parrot asks Jonny.

"Yup!" Jonny answers, entering a truck and shaking the nuts & fruit off himself to leave the birds in the truck. A zookeeper closes it...

_"Wait a minute... AH, DAMMIT!"_ the talking parrot realizes Jonny tricked him and his flock, but another zookeeper cages them and takes them away! Nazz approaches Jonny.

"Thanks for saving us from the birds, Jonny!" she thanks.

"Ah, don't mention it!" Jonny replies, then thinks... "Can I have a thank-you kiss?!"

"Um... How about a hug!" Nazz hugs Jonny. Kevin approaches Jenna.

"So, you gonna thank me?!" Kevin asks.

"For what?" Jenna asks back.

_"I saved you from that panda."_ Kevin answers. "And you look tired, so how about I give ya a ride home!"

"You CRASHED into the panda; that ain't exactly savin me." Jenna explains. "Besides, I don't need a ride. I'm fine."

"Well excuse me for being generous." Kevin walks away gruffly. Meanwhile, Zoe's parents deal with her. Zoe's mom resembles her but has loose dark hair, wears housewife clothes, and has a timid personality. Zoe's dad is athletic, and Zoe inherited her wild personality from him!

"YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO THROW A PARTY, ZOE!!" Zoe's dad praises her: "THAT'S MY GIRL!!"

"YEAH!!" Zoe cheers, but her mom intervenes: "Um, Thomas. Shouldn't you... um... y'know, _hand down her punishment?..."_

"Oh, right!" Zoe's dad remembers: _"My daughter! As proud as I am of you, you're still grounded for a week."_

Ed and Double-D watch as the animals are loaded into the trucks. "Well Ed, looks like things are back to normal once again!" Double-D says.

_"But wait, where's Eddy?"_ Ed asks.

"Found a chimp!" a zookeeper throws Eddy into a truck full of chimpanzees, where he finally wakes up...

"What the..." Eddy realizes what happened, but the truck's already taking him away: "HEY STOP, I'M NO CHIMP!! LET ME OUT!! GAAAAH!!!"

**The End!!!**

* * *

Trivia: Rolf's 3-shoe beating quote is form "One of Those Eds."

Don't forget to review, and stay tuned for next week's episode!


	5. Music to My Eds pt 1

If you didn't know, all my OCs (except Kyle) are named after the show's cast and crew members. I edited my OCs bios on my profile to show who they're named after.

* * *

_**Episode #3: Music to My Eds**_

* * *

Ed lays on his bed, listening to metal music on his radio. He shakes his head to the song's beat, and during the instrumental part, he knee-slides onto the floor, plays an imaginary guitar, and mouths the singer's hardcore screaming!!!

But suddenly, a Jack Russell terrier flies in through Ed's window and jumps all around his room, messing up things and knocking over his radio thus crashing the music.

"What the-" Ed catches a mere glimpse of the dog as it zips under him, then he finds it ripping up his pillows. "HEY!"

Ed tries catching the dog, but it repeatedly dodges him and escapes back out through his window. He jumps outside, and finds the dog running all around the cul-de-sac, barking as it goes. Sarah, Jimmy and Double-D are trying to catch it.

"ED, HELP US CATCH ZOE'S DOG!" Double-D calls out to Ed, who joins the chase.

"GET HIM, JIMMY!" Sarah shouts to Jimmy, who manages to grab the dog's tail but isn't strong enough to stop it. He gets dragged along instead. Meanwhile...

_"Eddy, you are so amazing!"_ Eddy proudly marvels at his completed work: a 10-foot Eiffel Tower made of cards. But then the dog (dragging the screaming Jimmy) comes along and runs through it, destroying it. "MY TOWER, MY BEAUTIFUL TOWER!"

Zoe pops out of a bush, in search of her dog: "Oh, Sparky!..... Sparky,_ my cuddly wuddly woogums!"_ she calls out as she searches through the bushes, down into the sewers, and back to the surface... "SPARKY, YOU HERE?!" she searches up a tree, checking around from the top: "SPARKY, WHERE ARE YOU?!"

"I GOT HIM!" Jimmy shouts as Sparky drags him down the street. "BUT HE'S GOT ME, TOO!! AAAHHH-"

Sparky jumps through a treehole, which Jimmy gets stuck in. Zoe drops down as Sparky zips to another block.

"DUDES, HE'S GETTIN AWAY!" Kyle alerts the others, and they run down the neighborhood blocks in pursuit of Sparky.

* * *

Several blocks down, Rachel is band-practicing in her garage with fellow goths Sean, Bill and Dean. Sean has long black hair with puple fringes and cheek piercings. He wears a black shirt with long fishnet sleeves and black cuffs, black pants with chains, purple shoes, and an ankh necklace. Bill is very tall and skinny, having purple-rooted black hair covering his eyes, and a septum piercing. He wears a frilled black jacket, black pants and shoes, and white gentleman gloves. Dean is overweight, has 6 arm piercings (3 on each arm), and he doesn't talk. He wears a sleeveless black shirt with a purple skull logo, black pants with chains, black shoes, and a black beanie with some purple hair sticking out.

"Ready!" Sean signals.

_"3, 2, 1, GO!"_ Rachel starts the band practice. Rachel is the lead vocals, Sean is the guitarist and backup vocals, Bill is the keyboarder, and Dean is the drummer and percussionist.

Meanwhile, Sparky runs through the streets, causing cars to spin out. Ed, Double-D, Zoe, Sarah, Jimmy and Kyle try catching him, but he evades them all. He even causes Jimmy and Kyle to run into each other at full speed, causing their attire to briefly switch!

"Hehe, so that's how he's playin!" Zoe exclaims. "I love a good challenge!"

"THAT WAY!" Double-D points out Sparky, and more chasing ensues. Sparky still evades them all and heads towards Rachel's garage. Sparky barks as he jumps into Rachel's garage and onto Bill's pants.

"What the- ACK!" Bill leaps off his keyboard to get Sparky off himself, but Sparky zips onto Dean's hair, messing it up. Then Sparky munches on one of Sean's shoes, and he lifts up the foot.

"The hell did you come from?" Sean reaches for Sparky, but Sparky jumps onto Rachel and licks her face. Covered in slobber, Rachel throws Sparky off, and they try catching him.

"GET HIM!" Bill shouts as he, Rachel, Sean and Dean try catching Sparky outside. Ed and Double-D hear Sparky's barking, and find the goths trying to catch him.

"CAR!" Rachel points out a car headed towards her and the goth boys. Sparky runs towards it, barking at it. This causes the car to kareen off the street, and everyone freaks out as it spins towards Sean.

"WHOA!" Sean braces himself, but luckily the car misses him and hits a pole. _"Whew, that was a-"_

The pole falls and POWS Sean into the ground.

_"SEAN!!!"_ Rachel, Bill and Dean rush towards Sean. Dean throws off the pole, pulls Sean out of the ground, and they tend to him. Ed and Double-D rush over, where Double-D checks Sean while Ed chases Sparky.

_"How bad is it?"_ Rachel asks Double-D about Sean's condition.

_"Oh dear, we need to get him the hospital immediately!"_ Double-D says as he heads into Rachel's house to call 911.

_"Oh, that's just great!"_ Bill exclaims sarcastically as he paces around. _"Without Sean, we can't make it to the Battle of the Bands this Saturday."_

Ed finally catches Sparky in his hands:_ "I GOT HIM, GUYS!"_ he tells the others, but then Sparky angrily bites his arm!

_"................ YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!"_ Ed screams in pain. Double-D sees this through Rachel's window and panics, but the goths have a different view on Ed's bite-triggered scream:

"That scream was... _incredible!"_ Bill says in amazement.

_"I think we just found our replacement, boys!"_ Rachel says as an ambulance arrives for Sean.

* * *

Later at Ed's stoop, Sparky is handed to Zoe, and Double-D starts bandaging Ed's wound. Eddy complains about how Sparky ruined his card tower:

"Thank God you guys got that damn terrier, cause now I can put another 6 hours into REBUILDING MY TOWER!" Eddy leaves.

"Thanks, Ed!" Zoe thanks as Sparky licks her.

"Gee, Sparky must have a monster bite to make someone like Ed scream." Jimmy comments.

"Careful, Double-D." Ed says with pain in his voice.

"I'm applying the bandages as painstakingly as I can, Ed. Don't move." Double-D says.

"But it hurts so much." Ed whines.

"Oh stop it, will ya!" Sarah scolds Ed: _"A 16-ton safe didn't hurt ya, yet you're crying from a little bite. That's pathetic."_

"Besides, it could've been so much worse!" Zoe says. "Sparky could've bitten your cubes or even your rod or somethin!"

Everyone stares at Zoe for her gross remark.

"Let's not talk about that, Zoe." Kyle tells Zoe as they, Sarah and Jimmy leave, with Sparky on a leash.

"There, all better!" Double-D finishes bandaging Ed's wound. "Now remember, Ed: many canines, Jack Russells in this case, are big dogs in small packages. So it pays to handle them carefully to avoid accidents like what happened to your arm."

"Yessir!" Ed replies, kissing his bandages. Then Rachel comes.

"Oh hello, Rachel!" Double-D greets. "How's Sean?"

"He got some fractures, so he'll be in a wheelchair for a few weeks." Rachel answers. "Now Ed, I wanna talk to you."

"... About what?" Ed asks.

"Judging from how you always listen to metal on the radio, I take it that's your favorite music or one of your favorites, am I right?" Rachel asks.

"I heart metal, ehehe!" Ed answers.

"Great, because I have an offer!" Rachel begins: _"Sean was the guitarist and backup vocals for our band, Eterntal Moonlight. But since he's out of the question now, we're looking for a replacement so we can participate in the Battle of the Bands for a 500-dollar prize. And we're considering YOU, Ed! Your scream earlier was totally hardcore, and I think you'll provide perfect backup vocals until Sean recovers! Plus, I got a spare guitar in my garage! So what do you say?!"_

_"Oh my God... MY DREAM'S COME TRUE, DOUBLE-D!!"_ Ed shakes Double-D excitedly, then does a spontaneous metal number in which he jumps around, runs up his house's wall (classic Ed), and drops down while playing an imaginary guitar. But then he abruptly freezes mid-jump... "Could you teach me how to play guitar?"

"Sure!" Rachel answers, then Ed happily continues his metal number, ending it with his HARDCORE SCREAM!! Then he does his trademark excited laugh.

* * *

Over the course of several days, Ed takes part in band practice with Rachel, Bill and Dean. After a few rough starting sessions, Ed eventually masters the electric guitar, learns the songs' backup lyrics, and later goes to Hot Topic at the mall...

Sarah is eating dinner at the table with her parents. Ed's & Sarah's mom closely resembles Sarah but has dirty blonde hair tied into a bun, paler skin, and wears a blue housedress with an apron. Their father (reading a newspaper) more closely resembles Ed with yellow skin, red hair and a unibrow, but he also has a beard that connects to his hair. He wears a white polo shirt, blue jeans and black shoes.

They hear Ed coming in: "I'M HOME!" he announces as he enters the kitchen...

".... OH MY GOD, EDWIN!!..." Mom shouts in shock upon seeing Ed's new appearance: he dyed his hair black-&-purple, and is wearing a black T-shirt with a cross logo, black pants with chains, purple shoes, and black wristbands.

".... Pffff!... Ehehe!... Eheeheehee!" Sarah giggles at Ed's new goth look, then falls to the floor in a fit of all-out laughter while their mom just stares in utter shock.

_"Heh, kids these days!"_ their dad merely continues reading the newspaper.

* * *

The next day, Double-D sees Ed's new look as the latter meets up with Rachel at the candy shop with his guitar.

"..... ED, IS THAT YOU?!" he asks, shocked by Ed's new appearance.

"You bet it is!" Ed answers. Eddy sees this, and laughs so hard he turns red!

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAAA!! ED'S JOINED THE EMO TRAIN, HAHAHA-"

Rachel grabs Eddy by his lip and lifts him off the ground (yeowch): _"Let's get one thing straight, buddy. We are GOTHS, not EMOS. Remember that, because this is strike 1 out of 3."_

"Got it!" Eddy utters in pain as he gives an affirmative thumbs up, then Rachel drops him.

"So Ed, how's band practice going?" Double-D asks. "You're still going for the Battle of the Bands tomorrow night?"

"It's splendid, guys!" Ed answers. "I'm the most wicked screamer alive! Eternal Moonlight has the 500-buck prize in the bag!"

_"Did you just say '500 bucks?!'"_ Eddy asks with interest.

"Yup, and we're winning it!" Ed answers.

"We'll still have some solid competition, Ed. So remember to do your best!" Rachel tells Ed. "Now let's rehearse one more time for tomorrow!"

Ed and Rachel go to her house.

"Doesn't it just hearten you to see how well Ed's progressing with his potential music career?!" Double-D asks Eddy.

"Of course! Just imagine all the money they'll make, and Ed's sure to share some with us!" Eddy exclaims. "But wait... that girl with Ed, what's her name again?"

"Rachel." Double-D reminds Eddy.

"Yeah, her! She's right about their havin solid competition." Eddy says._ "500 dollars is too good to miss, and Ed ain't the only hardcore screamer around."_

"What are you getting at?" Double-D asks.

"Oh, nothin!" Eddy lies. _"I'm just crossin my fingers for my dear rockstar pal! I suggest you do the same and pray that the tables sway in their favor, because the Battle of the Bands is gonna be intense this year!"_

**To be Continued...**

* * *

Trivia: Sean is named after Sean Pierce, the show's music recording engineer. Bill and Dean are named after the sound mixers, Bill Sheppard and Dean Giammarco.

Character Inspiration: I designed Rachel and Sean after 2 goths (I forgot their names since I lost my yearbook) who attended my high school. But only the girl ever went to class and talked to me, so I made Rachel one of my 5 main OCs. I added Bill and Dean to make my goths into a band.


	6. Music to My Eds pt 2

Just a little thing brought up last chapter: shopping at Hot Topic does NOT make you or anyone else a poser. It's just another store where you buy stuff. I shop there myself, and those who think I'm a poser could go screw a pig.

Anyway, here's Episode 3 pt. 2! Enjoy and review!

* * *

The sun sets as Double-D drives the retro van (the Eds fixed it up over the timeskip, during which Double-D also got his driver liscense) towards Cherry River for the Battle of the Bands, with Eddy sitting shotgun.

"I can already feel the artistic rhythm of the 25 bands converging at this concert! Can you feel it, Eddy?!" Double-D asks.

"Yeah, I totally feel the rhythm!... of 500-DOLLAR JOY!" Eddy answers. "No, scratch that! _I can TASTE it!"_

Reaching Cherry River, they park in the concert's parking lot.

* * *

The Battle of the Bands is being held in an amphitheater. As people gather for the event, colorful stage lights flash and beam about to raise the hype.

Among the front-row viewers are Lee & Marie. May arrives shortly after, disguising herself with a heavy coat, a frog mask, and oven mitts.

"Nice disguise, May!" Marie sarcastically comments, chuckling.

"Is it good enough?" May asks. _"Rachel told me to cover myself up real good so Big Ed doesn't notice."_

"It'll suffice!" Lee assures. "Good thing Rachel called us ahead of time. _She's like another sister!"_

* * *

Ed, Rachel, Bill and Dean are bringing their instruments backstage when Eddy comes and starts massaging Ed's shoulders.

"Eddy, what're you doin back here?" Ed asks.

"Just helping ya relax enough for the show!" Eddy answers. "You need it to focus so you and the emos could win the prize!"

Rachel picks up Eddy by his lip again. Bill holds up a needle and threatens to stick Eddy's lip with it! _"Strike 2, Eddy."_ Rachel warns, dropping Eddy as their manager comes.

"Ok guys, enough lollygaggin. Let's Roll." Eternal Moonlight's manager moves Ed and the goths along.

"Yeah, you guys go get ready now!" Eddy says, heading out through the backstage entrance. There he sees the other bands arriving, and whispers: _"You think you guys got a chance this year? Heh, not on my watch!"_

* * *

Out in the audience, Double-D waits for Eddy to return. Then someone else joins him to watch the show: Sean, who's in a wheelchair and wearing bandages.

"Why, hello Sean! How are you?" Double-D greets.

"Miserable." Seans flatly answers. "But fortunately, I'll be raring to go once this episode runs its course. But enough of that; who's my replacement?"

Eddy returns to answer: "No need to worry! Ed's leadin your troop to Victory Road, and who knows, maybe he's better than you!"

"Oh, really..." Sean skepticizes. "Let's see how it goes."

"You've been on the can for quite some time, Eddy." Double-D says (Eddy lied off-screen earlier). "Was something wrong?"

"Oh, that? I just went overboard on the burritos Mom served for dinner!" Eddy lies. "Very unstable digestive tract."

_"... We didn't need to hear that."_ Sean replies.

"Oh look, there's the MC!" Double-D points out as the MC appears onstage to host the event.

"WASSUP?!" he shouts over a microphone, and the crowd cheers. "LET ME HEAR SOME NOISE!!" everyone screams and whoops excitedly. "LOUDER!!" the cheering turns up. "There we go! THIS IS CHERRY RIVER'S 13th ANNUAL BATTLE OF THE BANDS!! IT'S GONNA BE WILD!! HARDCORE!! RAW!! _AND MOST OF ALL, IT'S GONNA ROCK!!!"_

"WHOOO!!" The Kankers cheer with everyone else. Ed becomes excited as he and the goths wait in their greenroom.

"Here we go!" Eddy says as the Battle of the Bands commences.

"FIRST UP, REPRESENTING DURIAN COVE, WATCH OUT CAUSE TYPHOON TIP'S STORMIN IN!!" the MC introduces Typhoon Tip, a punk band that begins the competition with their song. The crowd moves and bobs along to their beat, though Double-D has trouble doing so and Sean can't really move at all thanks to his wheelchair! From their greenroom, Ed and the goths hear the song via intercom. Typhoon Tip's vocalist finishes with a hardcore SCREAM!

"THAT'S the kind of competition we're playing against, Ed." Rachel says. "So give it your all and save your voice until we go up."

Eddy says mentally: _"The 1st song's done, now it's time for sabotage!"_ then he fakes a cramp: "Yeowch! Excuse me guys, I gotta take another dump. Damn burritos!"

Eddy leaves Double-D and Sean to head through the crowd and sneak backstage, where he puts on a black shirt & ski mask before sneaking up behind the 2nd band...

"NEXT UP, REPRESENTING WATERMELON FALLS, THROW YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR FOR SURGE!!" the MC introduces Surge, an alternative metal band. Their song goes well for the first few seconds, but once the drums come in, there's no sound even though the drummer's playing them. The audience starts booing! Their manager is shocked and confused.

"Huh?..." the drummer sees that his sticks were replaced by twizzlers: "TWIZZLERS?!!..."

Eddy chuckles, as HE swapped the drummer's sticks with the twizzlers! He then sneaks back into the audience wearing his normal clothes, pulling out a barrell of tomatoes from his pocket (via hammerspace) and labeling it "50 CENTS PER TOMATO!"

"Thanks a bunch, cuddlebins!" Lee thanks as she and her sisters pay up for tomatoes to pelt Surge with. Many others follow suit, and Eddy scores major cash! Surge is pelted with tomatoes until they're finally forced offstage.

"Wow, how careless to bring twizzlers!" the MC chuckles. "Now, moving on..."

Eddy fakes cramps again: "Burritos are at it again!" he runs off before Double-D even reaches him.

"UP NEXT, REPRESENTING LAKE TANGERINE, GIVE IT UP TO BOWELS OF BEYOND!!" the MC introduces Bowels of Beyond, a heavy metal band.

"Hehehe!" Eddy chuckles, wearing his stealth clothes again. He takes out scizzors to cut a rope holding a sandbag above the stage. The sandbag drops down and hits the lead singer over his head. He gets up angrily and kicks the sandbag, bursting it and sending a cloud of sand into the audience, making them sneeze and boo for him.

"HAHAHA!" Eddy returns to selling tomatoes for the audience to bombard Bowels of Beyond with.

"How did that sandbag fall?" the MC checks out backstage, seeing that the rope's been cut. _"Someone's playin dirty..."_

Double-D approaches Eddy as he sells tomatoes. "Eddy, I know that singer had some nerve to kick sand into everyone's faces, but how can you sell tomatoes to bombard them and the last band!?"

"Who cares?! _The more pain for them, the more gain for me!"_ Eddy exclaims.

Double-D processes Eddy's words: _"............ Eddy, are you the one who's-"_

"AGH, BURRITOS!!" Eddy fakes another cramp, throwing his tomato barrell into the air in false pain and running off.

"HEY, YOU-" Double-D tries stopping Eddy, but the tomato barrell lands on him, splattering tomatoes all over him!

"UP NEXT, REPRESENTING BANANNA BLUFFS, WATCH YOUR STEP CAUSE FLIPPIN PEELZ ARE IN THE HOUSE!!" the MC introduces Flippin Peelz, a hip-hop band composed of 2 blacks, 1 white, 1 latina, and 1 Asian. As they perform their song, their manager sits backstage.

"Flippin Peelz?!..." Eddy whispers backstage, in his stealth clothes again. _"How about Shockin Peelz?!"_

Eddy takes Flippin Peelz's manager's water bottle from his back pocket and pours it on the band's guitar cord behind the amps, electrocuting the band's guitarist and roasting him into a pile of ash with still-blinking eyes! Everyone starts booing, and Flippin Peelz curses back but are taken away by their manager before things get dirty. Once they're gone, Eddy comes out of hiding to head back into the audience.

"Alright, back to the-" Eddy is grabbed by the MC, who takes off his ski mask.

_"So it's you sabotaging everyone, eh? Jig's up!"_ the MC says. Meanwhile, Ed and the goths are suprised at how the last 3 bands went awry.

"3 in a row." Bill notes, then sarcastically says _"Isn't that awesome luck!"_

_"We're up next, guys."_ Rachel says, prompting Ed to shout "YES!"

* * *

Backstage, the MC tied up Eddy and has Eternal Moonlight's manager handle him while he heads back onstage: "We had a few problems backstage, dudes and babes. But it's all been taken care of, so it's on with the show! NOW, REPRESENTING PEACH CREEK, MAKE SOME NOISE FOR ETERNAL MOONLIGHT!!" he introduces Eternal Moonlight.

"WHOOOOOOOOOO!!!" the crowd cheers, especially Double-D, Sean and the Kankers. Despite seeing Lee and Marie in the front row, Ed is unfazed since he doesn't notice the disguised May, who's screaming like a rabid fangirl!

Then the song begins! Backstage, Eddy stuggles to free himself as EM's manager tries taking him away.

"Get your hands off me, I was just helpin with the stage blocking! The MC's on crack!" Eddy lies as he struggles.

"Nice try, boy." EM's manager sees through the lie. Then Eddy frees an arm to loosen the rope and slip out of it, which leads to a grappling match between him and EM's manager. The MC sees this and joins to stop Eddy. Onstage, EM's song goes good so far, with Ed backing Rachel's lyrics and he does his hardcore SCREAM during the instrumental part, impressing Sean and mesmerizing May.

_"He's so awesome!"_ May says dreamily.

Backstage, Eddy squabbles against the MC and EM's manager on the stage's control systems. Eddy grabs EM's manager's arms while the MC grabs Eddy's legs, but Eddy frees one and repeatedly kicks him against the lighting switches, causing lights to flash onstage with painfully bright intensity.

"AAAGH!!" the audience shield their eyes in pain while Eternal Moonlight close their eyes, confused by what's happening but they continue their song.

"AGH!!" Eddy covers his eyes in pain, thus letting go of EM's manager's pulling arms. This flings the manager out into the audience, landing on May and knocking her mask off, exposing her...

"AH!!" Ed jumps back upon seeing May, accidentally knocking Rachel backstage where Eddy struggles against the MC.

"WHOA!!" Rachel lands on Eddy, knocking him into the sound system where his hairs get caught in the recording device.

"Oh, ow, OW, OWWW!!!" Eddy screams as his hair is pulled by the recording device's rotation. Rachel and the MC try pulling him out but only cause him more pain by stretching him out. _"STOP, STOP!!!"_ Eddy thrashes his arms in agony, pulling a switch until it breaks, causing the volume of the amps to skyrocket!

Rachel gasps in horror... _"GUYS, STOP!!!"_ she screams but Ed, Bill and Dean fail to hear her as their music gets louder and louder. Ed strums a string...

... And its EXTREMELY loud note blasts through the amphitheater, blowing down the stage, shattering the audience like glass, and destroying ALL the windows (setting off car alarms) in Cherry River!!

* * *

Ed emerges from the stage's rubble, digging into his ear. "Ouch!"

"What happened?" Bill asks as he and Dean emerge, followed by Rachel and the MC. Double-D emerges and helps Sean out.

"I think my eardrums popped." Sean utters in pain as Ed looks around at the damage.

"It's over, I blew it! I BLEW IT!!" Ed screams with guilt. _"LOOK WHAT I'VE DONE, I RUINED THE CONCERT!!!"_

Double-D emerges from the rubble to comfort Ed: "Cheer up, Ed! It's not all your fault. Exceedingly loud volume must be the product of some sort of backstage problem."

_"Right, you are!"_ the MC says. _"Where is that little guy?"_

_"Oh, my achin..."_ Eddy's voice utters from under the rubble, and Rachel pulls him out by his hairs. "Huh?... _WHAT HAPPENED?! IS IT OVER, ED?! DID YOU GUYS WIN?!!"_

"No, sorry." Ed aswers. _".................... You know what, guys? I'm not sure if I wanna do this whole rockstar thing yet. I thought I wanted to pursue music as my dream, but the thing is, I have LOTS of dreams. I dream about publishing my own comics, opening up my own restaurant, acting and directing sci-fi movies, and playing in the NFL!! But I don't know which to pick yet."_

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW WHICH TO PICK?!" Eddy asks furiously. _"DON'T CHANGE HORSES MIDSTREAM!! YOU COULD MAKE A FORTUNE WITH THE EMOS!!"_

_"Strike 3."_ Rachel grabs Eddy's lip again, this time carrying him towards the giggling Kankers. _"Give him the usual punishment!"_

"WAIT, I'M SORRY!!" Eddy screams as Rachel tosses him into the sisters' clutches, then she returns to Ed and Double-D.

"Well, Ed..." Rachel begins. _"I understand that some things take time, and what ultimately becomes your career is your choice! So good luck, and if you ever need me or the other goths, we usually hang out at my house, behind the church, and of course at school though only I really attend classes._ _Now I'd better get going to check if any of our stuff got damaged."_

Rachel goes to dig her and the goths' stuff from inside the rubble while Double-D praises Ed: "I'm proud of you, Ed. Even though this concert didn't go nearly as well as anticipated, _it's still one your greatest accomplishments so far!"_

"Thanks, Double-D!" Ed thanks. "And hey, can you help me with a comic I'm workin on? It's called _'The Face-Stealers from Horsehead Galaxy!'"_

"Glad to!" Double-D answers as they walk away, with Ed telling him details about his comic while May and Marie hold Eddy down so Lee could do as she pleases with him!

**The End!!!

* * *

**

Trivia: I named the Typhoon Tip band after a real storm: Typhoon Tip was the biggest tropical cyclone ever recorded (almost as big as the lower 48 states) and was part of the 1979 Pacific Typhoon season.

Oh, and I'd like some help coming up with ideas. Check the EEnE Teen Series section of my profile for details (AFTER submitting your review if you do so).


	7. Lesson Number Ed pt 1

Here it is people, episode 4 is on the air! And just to let you know, there quite a few sexual references and innuendo that you might find obscene. Anyway, enjoy and review!

* * *

**_Episode #4: Lesson Number Ed_**

* * *

Ed, Eddy, Kevin, Rolf, Jonny, Paul and a few other boys enter their locker room in their football uniforms, having just finished football practice. As they change back into their normal clothes...

"WHOO, I can already see victory, guys!" Ed exclaims.

"I know we're gonna win cuz Plank said so! He's psychic when it comes to seein games' outcomes!" Jonny says.

"Oh yeah, baby! Lime Bay's SO gonna kiss our asses next week!" Eddy exclaims.

"Indeed, Eddy dawg!" Rolf agrees. _"Those little Lime Bay lambs shall fall before the might of ROLF'S ANGRY SKILLS!!"_

".... Rolf, it's 'madd skills.'" Kevin corrects Rolf, whom Eddy laughs at.

"Yo Paul, you heard Rolf?!" Eddy asks, still chuckling. "............. Paul?....."

"Paul, where you at?" Kevin calls out, then they hear Paul's giggling from the other side of the room. Eddy and Kevin check it out, and see Paul peeping into the girls' locker room via a tiny hole in the wall!

_"Come on, Nazzalicious! Take it off!"_ Paul whispers, waiting for Nazz to take off her cheerleading outfit.

"Dude, you peepin on the girls?!" Eddy asks with pervy glee.

_"Hush, I'm watchin a strip show!"_ Paul answers. Kevin shoves Paul aside to see the girls changing. In the girls' room are Nazz, Jenna, the Kankers, and a few other girls who aren't fully seen due to the hole's tiny size.

"Lemme see!" Eddy shoves Kevin aside to peep: _"Hehehehe!"_

Kevin flips Eddy away: _"Is Jenn naked!?"_

"Yo I was here 1st, guys!" Paul grabs Eddy and Kevin, then they loudly squabble for the peephole. The girls hear this...

"I WIN!!" Paul beats out Kevin & Eddy and peeps into the hole, but sees a girl's eye on the other side! It's Lee's eye!!

_"CREEP ALERT, GIRLS!!"_ Lee alerts the other girls, and Paul screams "RUN!"

He, Eddy and Kevin run out into the hallways with the angry girls chasing them. Eddy splits from his fellow perverts and manages to outrun the girls, but while he isn't looking he crashes into Double-D. This causes them to drop their stuff, creating a mess.

"Eddy, do you mind watching where you're going?" Double-D asks as he recollects his papers, and Eddy gets up with Double-D's agenda shoved into his face. He pulls it out, and sees a page that catches his eye:

"Hey Sockhead, since when do you tutor people?" Eddy asks.

"I've been tutoring for some time now, Eddy." Double-D answers, taking his agenda back. _"I volunteer to help others overcome their academic difficulties, and it earns me extra credit. Maybe if you and the other guys pay attention in class, maybe you can do the same and brighten your chances of continuing on towards a premium college education that could land you that ideal life of luxury & fortune you oh so desire! What do you think?!"_

"... How about we help others with their classwork for CASH! FAST CASH!" Eddy suggests.

"I should've known better." Double-D says to himself. "Anyway Eddy, could you do me a favor: tell the Sex Ed. teacher I'll probably miss class today because the principal is giving me my next tutoring assignment personally."

* * *

Sex Ed. class is attended by Ed, Double-D (absent as aforementioned), Eddy, the Kankers, Kevin, Rolf, Jonny, Paul, Nazz and Jenna. They're watching a video detailing reproduction, and all the boys except Rolf are wide-eyed. Then Eddy, Kevin and Paul start giggling as the video progresses.

_"Guys, look at that! It's a vagina!"_ Eddy giggles with Kevin and Paul. Lee can't believe what Eddy just said!

_"He did not just..."_ she utters in disbelief.

"Oh shit, you guys feelin horny cuz I am!" Paul giggles. _"I'm feelin real horny, man!"_

The girls are starting to become annoyed. Then Kevin goes: _"The way Jenn was lookin at the male diagram, I can tell who she was thinkin of! Hehehe!"_

"Ugh, go jump off a bridge." Jenna scoffs at Kevin.

"Cut it out." May demands.

"Yeah, you 3 are makin us sick." Nazz says.

"Sick, eh?" Eddy asks. "Hey Dr. Paul, you got any medications for the girls' sickness?! Hehehehehe!"

"Let's see!..." Paul checks, suddenly wearing a doctor uniform... _"Ah, here we go, girls! Take a dose of..."_ he labels a blank capsule and holds it up: _"MYCOXAFLOPPIN!"_

_"EWWWWW!!"_ the girls recoil in disgust.

"Good one, Paul!" Eddy laughs.

"Hold up, I got another one!..." Paul gets up in his normal clothes again, doing a dance involving lots of pelvic-thrusting crotch-grabbing: _"Yo, ladies! Want me to insert my key into yo locks?!"_

_"Slither my snake into your gardens?!"_ Kevin asks, angering the girls.

_"Put my hotdog into your buns?!"_ Eddy asks, further agitating the girls.

_"How bout I..."_ Paul jumps atop his desk... _"FLY MY BUMBLEBEE INTO YO FLOWERS?!!"_

Eddy & Kevin laugh! But then Jenna gets up and grabs Paul & Kevin by their necks: _"I'm gonna STING ya'll like a bumblebee!"_

"HAHAHA, THAT'S-" Eddy is grabbed by Lee (yes, even Lee's turned off by Eddy's perversion), and she & Jenna tie Eddy, Kevin & Paul together into a tight knot!

"Assholes." Jenna grumbles as she and Lee return to their desks.

"Serves you guys right." Jonny says, Ed bobbing his head in agreement.

"Yes, why can't you act more maturely like AP-level Ed boy?" Rolf asks.

"Speaking of that, where IS Double-D?" Marie asks.

Then an announcement comes on: _"Marie Kanker, to the principal's office. Marie Kanker, to the principal's office."_

"What does he want now?" Marie heads towards the principal's office.

"Hey, McMoney and CK!" Paul utters to Eddy and Kevin. _"Who's up for that game after class?!"_

* * *

Principal Antonucci welcomes Marie into his office, where Double-D sits in one of 2 chairs. He's plump, has gray hair and a moustache, a beige suit over a white shirt and brown tie, and brown shoes.

"Hello, Marie! Take a seat!" Antonuuci greets. "Have you been staying out of trouble?"

"Yeah." Marie answers as she takes the 2nd seat, making a quick dreamy glance at Double-D who tries maintaining his composure. Then she looks back at Antonucci: "So what is it?"

"Your mother talked with me this morning, and she's concerned about your grades." Antonucci explains.

"What's wrong with Cs and Ds?" Marie asks. "I even got a B in Literature."

"A single B won't cut it." Antonucci says. _"Your mom and I know you can improve your performance in your other classes- with a little tutoring, of course! So I'm assigning you the best tutor we could find: good ol' Eddward right here!"_

"Ah, yes! I can... _help you work towards a better future!"_ Double-D says.

"Thanks so much, Principal!!" Marie gleefully thanks, shaking Antonucci's hand. "I really appreciate it!!"

"Glad you do!" Antonucci replies, then the bell rings. Then the 3 hear Eddy, Kevin and Paul from down the hallway...

"BONER!..." Eddy shouts out.

"BONER!!..." Kevin shouts louder.

"BONER!!!..." Paul shouts even louder. Double-D is shocked, while Marie and Antonucci are disgusted.

_"Excuse me a moment..."_ Antonucci heads out to find Eddy, Kevin & Paul. "HEY!!..."

Marie takes a moment to forget the perverts, then looks at Double-D: "Hey, Double-D. I need to tell ya somethin." she moves her chair closer to Double-D.

"Wh-what is it?" Double-D asks, sweating a bit.

"You see..." Marie begins. _"I'm kinda busy after school today, so I can't stay after classes. But here's what we can do: how about you come over to my place at 4 o'clock this evening and help me out there?!"_

_"I will... if it isn't another trap."_ Double-D complies.

_"Don't worry, I'm being totally honest this time!"_ Marie says with a wink.

* * *

Later, Double-D paces around his room. He takes something out of his drawer and looks at it, but it's too shady to be seen clearly. He puts the object back into his drawer, prepares some pencils and notepads to help tutor Marie with, wipes the sweat off his face, takes a deep breath...

_"Now's the time..."_ he heads outside...

At the street corner, Ed sees Double-D going by with his tutoring kit.

"Hi, Double-D!" Ed greets.

"...Hello! Bye!" Double-D quickly replies before speeding up and taking a turn into the lane. Ed sees him rush down the lane and turn again, into the woods.

"Double-D, where you goin?" Ed asks, but Double-D's already disappeared into the woods, so Eds follows the pathway through the woods. Eventually, he sees Double-D reach a fork in the path with a sign that points towards different destinations...

... And Ed is horrified when Double-D takes the path towards the trailer park... "Oh, no..."

Ed rushes to reach Double-D and stop him. But by the time he reaches the trailer park, Ed sees Double-D already knocking on the Kankers' door. Ed hides behind another trailer as the Kankers' door opens...

"COME ON IN, MARIE'S WAITING!" Lee & May grab Double-D, pull him inside, and close the door. Ed sees this and panics:

_"Oh, God! Oh, GOD! OH GOD, OH GOD, OH GOD!!"_ Ed runs back through the woods to get help.

* * *

Eddy, Kevin & Paul are reading porn magazines as they sit on the front porch of Paul's house. Paul's house is very big, has 4 floors and 8 apartments that accomodate his entire family!

"Oh, yes! Check this one out, boys!" Eddy shows a picture of a girl to Kevin and Paul, who giggle pervertedly.

"Well take a look at this!" Kevin shows a picture that makes Eddy and Paul giggle.

"Man, Paul! Where'd ya get all these magazines?!" Eddy asks. "I gotta know!"

"I been collectin em since I was 8!" Paul answers. _"That's right, I got a whole lot more! Lemme go get em!"_

Just as Paul gets up, the 3 hear Ed panicking down the lane and around the park: "EDDY, EDDY!!"

Eddy, Kevin and Paul rush towards the frantic Ed, who tries explaining the situation:

_"GUYS, DOUBLE-D!! DOUBLE-D'S IN THEIR CLUTCHES!!"_ Ed shouts in extremely fast spazzing. _"SMOOCHING, GERMS, COOTIES, OR EVEN RAPE!! IT'S HORRIBLE!! HELP, GUYS!! DOUBLE-D'S IN HELL!!! HELP, HELP, I'M SPIRALING!!! I'M SPIRALING!!! I'M-"_

"GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!!" Eddy knocks some sense into Ed by spinning his head with a hard smack!

"Thanks, I needed that!" Ed thanks.

"Now start over calmly, Ed." Kevin says. "What's up with Double-D?"

"Ok, here it goes..." Ed begins: _"I saw Double-D go to the trailer park and knock on the Kankers' door for, uh... um... God knows why. And then they snatched him and pulled him inside. Who knows what they're doing to him right now, and I don't wanna think the worst when Marie comes onto him."_

"Geez, this can't be happenin." Eddy says, pacing around. _"For the millionth freakin time!"_

"I don't see nothin wrong with that." Paul says. "And who knows, _DD's probably gettin some right now if ya know what I mean!"_

"..... What?....." Kevin looks at Paul in disbelief.

_"Paul, these are KANKERS we're talkin about, especially Marie in this case!"_ Eddy tells Paul. _"How can you even say that?"_

"What, they're just real flirty girls." Paul says. "You guys are exaggeratin this whole 'Grungy Blue rapin DD' thing! I think she's ok! And sure, _I'd tap her and her sistas' asses any day!"_

"..... Somethin's wrong with you, man." Kevin tells Paul.

"Maybe so, but if ya'll gonna go save DD, count me in cuz I wanna... _ehe, do some research!"_ Paul says pervertedly.

"Ok then, boys! Let's get to it!" Eddy says, then delivers Hannibal's famous quote:_ "I love it when a plan comes together!"_

* * *

Minutes later, the 4 jump out of Eddy's house dressed like the A-Team with Eddy as Hannibal, Ed as Face, Kevin as Murdock, and Paul as Baracus.

_"TO THE TRAILER PARK!"_ Eddy shouts as the 4 hop into the retro van and zoom off towards the trailer park!

**To be Continued...**

* * *

Trivia: Principal Antonucci is named after... take a good guess!

Character Inspiration: Paul is designed after one of my black friends in high school. He would always hit on girls, had a sex joke for each day, and had a Playboy collection in his bedroom. There were rumors that he peeped on girls, but I don't think he ever did (I just added that to Paul's character for more lulz).


	8. Lesson Number Ed pt 2

Let Double-D's rescue commence! Read, enjoy, and don't forget to review!

* * *

Lee and May lead Double-D into their room, which now has a school desk..

"You 2 play nice now!" Lee closes the door as she and May go downstairs. Double-D looks around for Marie. "... Marie?... I'm here to help with your human biology work!"

_"I'll be out in a sec!"_ Marie's voice answers from inside the closet...

... Then she steps out, wearing lipstick and a schoolgirl outfit: a buttoned white shirt partly undone to show her cleavage and bellybutton piercing, a blue skirt, and black sneaker-boots reaching her knees. Her hair is the same, but without her cap.

"Gimme a moment!" Marie locks the door, goes to Double-D, and sits on his lap! "Ready! Heeheeheehee!!"

"Ok, um..." Double-D is extremely nervous, but he tries keeping his cool. "Shall we begin?"

Marie drops her biology book onto the desk and opens it.

* * *

The retro van races along a street, turning onto a dirt road and up a ramp to jump over the creek in slow-motion, landing in the trailer park. The van slows to a stop and the '"A-Team" leaps out, posing in formation. Then Paul drinks a carton of milk (ala Baracus).

"Man, this place gives me the creeps." Kevin says.

"How do you think I feel?" Ed asks in reply as they approach the Kanker trailer.

"Ok boys, listen up!" Eddy says, smoking a cigar (ala Hannibal). _"Here's the plan!..."_

* * *

In the Kankers' living room, Lee and May are watching one of May's favorite TV shows, which bores Lee.

"May, this is so stupid." Lee complains. "Gimme the remote."

"No, get away!" May holds the remote away, but Lee knocks May down to reach it. They fight over the remote, with Paul gleefully watching through the window!

_"Yes, yes! Amuse me!"_ Paul says as he watches Lee and May fight. Eddy, Ed and Kevin wait for Paul to get caught.

Lee defeats May by pinning her tongue to the floor with her foot. She takes the remote from May, turns back to the sofa, and sees Paul in the window! "HEY!!" she jumps through the window to chase Paul. "GET BACK HERE, CREEP!!"

"WHOO!! WORK THEM LEGS, GIRL!! WORK EM!!" Paul provokes Lee further as she chases him around the trailer park.

"Dammit." Eddy says. "It only got Lee chasin him. Time to use the backup plan on May, Kev."

"Got it." Kevin says. Inside the trailer, May gets up from her fight with Lee as Kevin holds a dish of tater-tots just outside the Kankers' window, using a fan to blow the tots' scent inside. May smells it...

_"Mmmmmmmmm! Tots!"_ May drools with hunger and floats out through the window, following the tots' scent. Kevin then backs further and further away, luring May away in the process and allowing Ed and Eddy to enter the trailer.

* * *

Meanwhile, Double-D helps Marie by testing her.

"W-W-What is the longest and h-heaviest bone in the b-b-b-body?" Double-D asks, stuttering and sweating as Marie is sitting on his lap.

"Um..." Marie thinks... "The femur!"

"Excellent, now um... the final question!" Double-D tests her one more time: "Um, what is the t-total number of bones in t-th-the body?"

"Hmmm... 213? No wait..." Marie thinks... "113... 106... 206! 206 bones!"

"Why, I-I-I'm amazed!" Double-D comments. "I n-never anticipated you w-w-would l-l-learn so q-quickly! Your progress, it's... it's prodigious!"

_"All thanks to you, hun!"_ Marie puts her stuff into her schoolbag, which she then tosses aside along with the desk. She turns around on Double-D's lap to wrap her arms around him. _"Before you go, how bout I give ya a thank-you kiss?!"_

"Eek!" Double-D sweats profusely and jumps out of the seat. Marie merely giggles, pushes the chair away, and puckers up as she approaches Double-D, who has the oppurtunity to escape. But he stops himself.

_"Eddward, this is your chance to tell her."_ Double-D tells himself mentally: _"You could do this, you could-"_ then he's grabbed by the amorous Marie.

* * *

Ed and Eddy carefully head upstairs. On the way up...

"Oh, no!" Ed panics: _"What if the Kankers' mom is here?"_

_"Shit, forgot about her..."_ Eddy thinks for a moment... _"We'll continue up to the girls' room. Once we reach there, you'll stop while I check for any signs of Big Mama. If the coast is clear, I'll go in and distract Marie while you get Double-D."_

The 2 continue until they're right at the sisters' door, where they hear Marie's giggling inside. Ed stays and watches for anyone coming upstairs, while Eddy tiptoes to Mama Kanker's door at the end of the hallway. His eyes squeeze under Mama Kanker's door to check around her room: numerous marine animal ornaments hang from the cieling, and there's also a cruise picture, an antiques collection, a treasure chest, a hammock to sleep in, a stuffed shark, and a fishtank containing two catfish named Flotsam and Jetsam.

* * *

Marie sits on top of Double-D on her bed, giggling.

_"This is it, Eddward. Now's your chance!"_ Double-D tells himself mentally, then stops Marie from kissing him: "WAIT!!"

"Tryna escape again?" Marie asks.

"Of course not..." Double-D stutters, sweating profusely. _"...... I... want... to... t-tell you something."_

_"I'm all ears, angel!"_ Marie listens...

_"Um, you see..."_ Double-D begins: _"I... um... you... uhhh, well... w-w-we've known each other for 5 years already and... over those years... I... I've c-c-come to see something in you... um, something... uh..."_

_"You see something in me?!"_ Marie asks curiously, moving her face closer to Double-D's. _"What is it?!"_

_"Ummmm, it's..... it's....."_ Double-D is too nervous to talk further.

_"Don't get shy, sweetie! Tell me!"_ Marie says. But then she hears something: Eddy is using one of his hairs as a lockpick to unlock the door. Marie slams the door open, squashing Ed and Eddy against the other side!

"Who's there?..... May, is it you?... Well go suck a weenir cause me and Double-D are busy! Ya hear me?!" Marie calls out, then she hears the front door open...

"HEY, GIRLS!" Lee's voice calls out. _"WE GOT A CREEP TO TAKE CARE OF!"_

_"AGH! LEMME GO, BITCH!"_ Paul's voice yells out.

Marie looks at Double-D: "I'll be right back." she rushes downstairs to deal with Paul.

"Eddy, Lee got Paul!" Ed worries. "We gotta save him!"

"I know, but Double-D's a priority." Eddy points out as he and Ed enter the Kankers' room.

"Ed? Eddy?... What are you guys doing here?" Double-D asks before Eddy covers his mouth.

_"Hush, we're bustin ya outta here before the girls catch us."_ Eddy answers.

* * *

In the kitchen, Paul struggles against Lee and Marie: "THAT ALL YOU GOT, HMM?! THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO!"

Lee and Marie wrestle Paul into a chair, where May tapes him and ties his hands and feet back. Kevin watches as he hides behind the sofa.

"Ya thought you can peep on us and get away with it, eh?" Marie punches Paul in the face.

"OW... Ow, ehehe! _That felt good!"_ Paul says, suprising the Kankers.

"The hell?" Marie knees Paul in the stomach, but he responds:_ "Ohhhh YES, GRUNGY BLUE! Now take off yo shirt and hit me again!"_

"You..." May rips off Paul's du-rag and pulls his hair!

_"YEOW, AHAHAHA!! THAT'S THE STUFF, BUCKWILD!!"_ Paul shouts with masochistic pleasure, but then May bites his nose and tugs it! _"OWWWW!! YYYEEESSS!! Aight, now it's Sweet Tooth's turn!"_

Lee tests Paul by slapping his cheek, but he responds with a masochistic grin. "What's up with this guy?"

"HE'S A SICK CREEPY STALKER!! THAT'S WHAT!!" Marie starts beating Paul with a pan.

_"I'm likin this!"_ Paul says before getting whacked. _"You're turnin me on!"_ he gets whacked again and loses a tooth! _"Now I'm LOVIN this!!"_

Marie and May scream in frustration. But Lee says: _"Girls, pummeling him obviously ain't workin. However, I just remembered an alternative that can't possibly fail! May, go call Rachel!"_

Hearing Rachel's name, Paul's black skin turns white with horror! _"W-W-Wait, who you callin?"_

"That's right!" Lee holds up a potato peeler: _"Rachel's gonna set you straight, ehehehehe!"_

_"Oh please, no! Anyone but Ray Ray! ANYTHING but her!!"_ Paul panics as Ed and Eddy tiptoe downstairs with Double-D in tow, hiding along the banister as May calls Rachel's number. Paul panics more:

_"OH GOD!!!"_ he screams. _"I'M SORRY, I'LL NEVER PEEP ON YA'LL AGAIN!!! I SWEAR TO GOD!!!"_

_"Hi, Rachel!"_ May greets over the phone: _"You-know-who is up to no good again!"_

Paul loses it as the Kankers laugh, and he screams _"GUYS, HELP ME!!!"_

The boys' cover blown, Kevin jumps out to help Paul. "I'M COMIN, MAN!!" he tries rescuing Paul as the Eds tiptoe towards the front door. But the sisters jump Kevin and capture him, too.

"Guys, eh?" Lee asks. "Where's the others?"

"LET THEM GO!!" Ed jumps in to save Kevin and Paul, but May alone is enough to undo him! With 3 guys captured, Eddy doesn't know what to do.

_"Ohhh............ WE'LL COME BACK FOR YA, BOYS!!"_ Eddy runs with Double-D towards the front door, but Marie sees this.

"HEY, YOU!!" Marie angrily charges, grabbing Double-D and trying to tug him back as Eddy turns the doorknob. He opens the door...

... And freezes as a shadow looms over him, Double-D and Marie. The others also freeze as the shadowy, pipe-smoking figure enters the trailer.

Lee smirks...... _"Perfect timing, Mom!"_

We now get a clear look at Mama Kanker (BACKGROUND THUNDER)!! She's slightly taller than Lee, and her face resembles Lee's but has a pink upper lip. Her hair is also red like Lee's but is styled like Marie's, except it exposes both eyes. A deep scar runs through her right eye and down her cheek, so her injured eye is covered by an eyepatch. Like her daughters, she has red nails. Her clothes have the same color scheme as May's: a gray sweater, a knee-length red skirt, and black stockings, but has red shoes (instead of white flip-flops like May). Furthermore, her sweater is mostly covered up by a buttoned aqua-green jacket with a waistband. She also wears gold fish-hook earrings, a sharkteeth necklace, and a fingerless black glove like Marie (but worn on her right hand instead of left).

May chuckles: _"You guys are REALLY dead now!"_

_"Oh hey, Ms. Kanker!"_ Eddy greets. _"Um..._ _just chillin with your daughters because, y'know, they're real sweet!"_

Mama Kanker gives Eddy a cold stare. He cowers, and all the other boys are frozen as Mama Kanker looks around at everyone:

_"So, anyone care to explain what the hell's goin on?"_ she asks, with an accent like Lee and Marie.

"PLEASE SPARE US!!!" Ed begs on his knees. "WE DID NO WRONG!!!"

"Double-D was assigned as Marie's tutor, so he came over to help her." Lee explains. "And then all these bozos showed up!"

_"These 3 peeped and harassed us all day!"_ May points at Eddy, Kevin and Paul who all sweat. Mama Kanker is shocked.

"And they tried takin Double-D away!" Marie adds, holding Double-D in her arms.

_"We're so fucked!!"_ Paul panics.

"Hmm, so the boy Marie always babbles about happens to be her tutor, eh!" Mama Kanker says, proceeding to shake Double-D's hand. "Thank you so much, Eddward! But please excuse my brash little daughter!"

"Eh?..." Marie's eyes widen.

"Oh n-n-no, it's fine!" Double-D stutters. "Marie... she... controlled herself well, and... we finished up!"

"Then I bid adieu and suggest you and Ed leave my trailer!" Mama Kanker says.

"Wait, Mom!" Marie interrupts. "Double-D was gonna-"

"I don't wanna hear it." Mama Kanker scolds Marie: _"I can read you like an open book. I know how you girls 'thank' your boyfriends. You just LIED about bein BUSY after school and invited him over so you can RAVAGE him in BED, am I right?!"_

_"WRONG!!"_ Marie shouts. _"DOUBLE-D WAS RIGHT, WE DID FINISH AND HE JUST WANTED TO TELL ME SOMETHIN!!"_

"Yeah, he was gonna tell you to dress properly." Mama Kanker replies: "Ya tryna be a naughty little schoolgirl doin a strip-tease?_ You don't even look like you wanna learn!"_

_"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU KNOW?!!"_ Marie yells in her mom's face, then Mama grabs her neck!!

_"I KNOW PLENTY, NOW GET YOUR ASS UPSTAIRS AND CHANGE CLOTHES OR I'LL MAKE YA DO ALL OUR LAUNDRY ALONE FOR A MONTH!"_ Mama Kanker throws Marie to the stairs.

_"Harsh."_ Kevin comments.

_"ARGH, YOU NEVER LET ME DO SHIT!!"_ Marie screams as she goes upstairs.

"SHUT UP MARIE, DON'T GET BITCHY WITH ME!" Mama Kanker retaliates, then sees Eddy, Kevin and Paul trying to sneak out behind her back: "AND WHERE DO YA THINK YOU'RE GOIN?!"

Mama Kanker shoots hooks from inside her jacket's sleeve to catch the 3 perverts, dragging them back as they try in vain to escape: _"You 3 think you can just do what you did and walk away unpunished? HAHAHAHAHAAA!! I'm callin the SCHOOL, then I'm callin your PARENTS to pick ya'll up and THEY'LL handle the rest!"_

_"WE'RE SORRY!!! WE LEARNED OUR LESSON!!! LET US GO!!!"_ Eddy, Kevin and Paul scream over each other as Lee and May laugh!

_"Sorry Eddy, but you've been a baaaaaad boy!"_ Lee says while Ed and Double-D back out of the trailer and drive the retro van home.

From her bedroom window, Marie watches the 2 leave. _"Oh, Double-D..."_ she utters, a tear rolling down her cheek.

* * *

Double-D is in his room, holding the shady object from before he left to tutor Marie.

_"..... I still couldn't tell her..."_ he berates himself. _"..... Why can't I? I'm so... so ..... No..... No, I can!... I know I can!.... I must.... I have to..... sooner or later!...."_

He puts the shady object back in his drawer. But just before he closes it, the object is revealed to be a Marie doll!!!

**The End!!!**

* * *

I know the Kankers' mom was described as hating men, but I couldn't fit that into here so I'll focus on it later.

Speaking of Mama Kanker, what are your opinions of her so far? Do you think I depicted her well?


	9. I Get an Ed Out of You pt 1

Sorry I was a bit late, but here's Chapter 5!

* * *

**_Episode #5: I Get an Ed Out of You  
_**

* * *

We see a large pile of leaves that Jenna raked up on her lawn. Tired, she sighs with relief.

"That's my workout for the day!" she wipes the sweat off her face, then hears someone's giggling. She looks around, sees nothing, then hears the giggling again. Ignoring it, she proceeds towards her house. But just as she opens the door...

"YAHOO!!" we hear Zoe's excited scream, and Jenna turns around. She finds Zoe playing through the leaf pile, scattering the leaves all over the lawn, much to Jenna's chagrin.

"ZOE!" Jenna shouts. "I JUST MADE THAT PILE, SO BEAT IT!"

Zoe merely smiles... "But it's fun! Join me; raking em again's no big deal!"

"It IS for Mami and Papi, _and I don't wanna hear their mouths."_ Jenna replies. "Now SCRAM!"

Jenna shoos Zoe away with her rake. Zoe runs until she reaches Paul's house near the corner.

"YO PAUL, WHATCHA DOIN?! she calls out as she goes up to Paul's front door, where she finds a note for her. She rips it off and reads it:

_"Dear Cray-Z:_

_Ur a fun n sexy lil' thang, but I cant chill with ya 2day cuz I'm at my family reunion. Gramma would kill me if I didnt go. Sorry 2 disappoint u girl, but hey I promise 2 bring back sum goodies ;)_

_Ur homeboy, Paul!"_

Then Zoe hears Julian's bellowing down the street...

Rolf is using Julian to pull a large carriage: "Make haste, Julian! The sooner Rolf gets these newcomers to the farm, the better!" but suddenly, Julian stops... "Julian, Rolf did not give you permission to stop!"

"Hiya, Rolf!" Zoe popped up in front of Rolf's carriage, which is why Julian stopped.

"Oh hello, nutty-as-a-fruitcake Zoe girl!" Rolf greets.

"What's in the carriage?" Zoe asks.

"You wish to see the passengers of the carriage?" Rolf asks in reply. "Very well, Rolf will show you! _After all, it's thanks to you that Rolf's family learned of and desired these denizens of nature from the zoo!"_

Rolf reveals what's inside the carriage: several horses, peacocks, and a llama. "Some fine equines for labor and honored old-country sports, peafowl for glamor, and a llama for fine wool!"

"Oh, goodie!" Zoe exclaims on top of Rolf's head. "I got this idea where we take the horses and-"

"Nooo no no." Rolf declines, dropping Zoe to the ground. _"Rolf does not wish to experience de-ja-vu as a result of Zoe-girl's hyperactive noggin._ Rolf must continue on now."

"Wait!" Zoe begs as Rolf continues on with the carriage, chasing after him. "I promise not to be reckless! I'lll even make sure- AH!" she trips over something...

... And sees it's a bananna peel. She picks it up, then sees several empty cans, a deflated basketball, apple cores, discolored papers and cigarette butts. In fact, the entire street is covered in trash!!

"I'll take that!" Jonny uses a litterstick to take the peel Zoe's holding, and drops it into a litterbag. Then he sees all the trash on the street... _"Man, there's so much trash."_

"Hey Jonny, how about we take all this garbage and build it up into a monster robot or somethin and go scare the crap out of everyone?!" Zoe suggests. "It'll be a total THRILL! Think of the lulz ratings!"

_"Think of the evironment, Zoe."_ Jonny declines. _"This crap's all over the place: on the streets, the park, and even the creek! And it's up to me to get rid of it. You could join anytime if you like!"_

Jonny continues picking up trash, while Zoe sighs with boredom.

* * *

Zoe sits on her stoop with Sarah, Jimmy and Kyle, who's playing his guitar. Sarah and Jimmy move along to Kyle's melody, but Zoe just sits idly.

"What's the matter, Zoe?" Jimmy asks. "You love Kyle's music; it isn't like you to not move along to it."

"I know, I'm just bored." Zoe answers. _"I HATE boredom! There's nothin to DO! I NEED to do somethin besides listen to guitar tunes all day! I wanna do somethin to get my ADRENALINE rushin!"_

"How about you do some tricks with Sparky!" Kyle suggests.

"Mom and Dad took him to the vet." Zoe explains. "And my baby brother's asleep all the time, so I can't do nothin with him."

_"Go find my brother and his buddies!"_ Sarah suggests. _"I'm sure they're workin on some crazy scam as we speak!"_

_"OF COURSE, THE EDS ALWAYS GOT SOME CRAZY KICKS I'LL LOVE!! COME ON, LET'S GO!! YAHAHA!!"_ Zoe takes her friends and drags them along to find the Eds.

* * *

Double-D watches as Ed and Eddy press themselves against the candy store's window. Why? Because they're looking at one of the store's new items: Jawbreaker Minis, of which there are dozens of bags inside.

"Jawbreaker Minis!! So close, yet so far away..." Ed sulks.

"Geez Ed, why'd you have to spend your paycheck on chicken and gravy?" Eddy asks. "If you didn't, those Minis would be meltin in our mouths right now!"

"Well Eddy, you'd have money if you never got yourself fired by Rolf." Double-D says.

"Hey, that was stupid Wilfred's fault!" Eddy scoffs.

"Maybe so, but even if you did have money, why spend it on a few bags of Jawbreaker Minis when you could save up and purchase that fancy Murcielago you've always wanted?" Double-D asks. "The world doesn't revolve around mere candies, you know."

"But Double-D, the Minis are LIMITED STOCK!" Ed reasons.

"Ed's right, man!" Eddy says. "WE GOTTA GET SOME BEFORE THEY DISAPPEAR!"

"HEY, GUYS!!" Zoe speeds towards the Eds with her friends in tow, and they loudly crash! Double-D gets up and brushes the dust off his shirt. Jimmy and Ed are stuck together just like in "Stuck in Ed" until Ed pulls Jimmy out.

"Yeesh! Was that necessary, Zoe?" Double-D asks as the others get up.

"Sorry, I couldn't control my speed, hehehehe!" Zoe apologizes. "Now I'd like to talk small talk but I'm too _BORED_ for that right now so let's cut to the chase!"

_"Wait, you're bored?"_ Eddy asks. _"Well we just happen to be broke, my friend! So today's a lucky day for all of us! I mean, it will be if you pay us some handsome cash!"_

_"You read my mind!!"_ Zoe gives Eddy 10 dollars. _"THRILL ME, EDDY!!"_

Eddy smirks: _"As you wish!"_

* * *

Jonny has finished picking up all the trash in the neighborhood.

"Whew, my work here's done!" he sighs in relief, but then he hears a speeding car. "Huh?..."

A car turns onto the street, and gyellow-wearing angsters pop out of its windows, holding out more trash!

"HAHAHAHAHA!!" the gangsters dump the trash all over the street (and Jonny) as they go by! One of them shouts "ANOTHA DAY'S SHIT DISPOSED OF! LET'S ROLL, BOYS!"

"HEY!!" Jonny chases after them, but they drive away and Jonny coughs from their car's exhaust. He takes out Plank from his backpack pocket: _"You saw that, Plank? Who the hell do those guys think they are?"_

_"Them Acids think they're on top of the world."_ a voice answers. Jonny looks and sees several more gangsters, wearing orange. Their leader is black and wears an orange bandanna, a white jacket with orange sleeves, black jeans and boots, and a neck-chain.

"Don't you guys hang around that old warehouse past the stores?" Jonny asks. _"I heard you're called Drupes."_

"Yeh, we're Drupes. I'm Dave." Dave introduces himself.

"Well, I'm Jonny!" Jonny introduces himself. "And this is Plank!"

"... Uhhh, ok..." a Drupe says, thinking Jonny is wierd.

"So those guys were Acids? Who're Acids?" Jonny asks.

_"The Acids are gangs from Lemon Brook."_ Dave explains: _"They been wagin turf wars against us for years. They think they got our Peach Creek hub, so they dumpin their shit around like they own the place. They think they unbeatable, but they nothin but shitty little pussbags and we gonna drive em back before they go any furtha. But we need more Drupes here cuz them Acids aint lettin in Drupes from our otha hoods. You look like Drupe material, so how bout ya join and make the streets a betta place?"_

"Hmmm..." Jonny thinks... _"If it means gettin rid of those litterbugs, then I'm in!"_

* * *

In the 2nd cul-de-sac, the Eds used junk to build a centrifuge-like ride called "EXTREME E-FORCE." At each end there's a pod that accomodates 2 people.

"Please put any loose items in the bin before you go in the ride." Double-D instructs. "And don't forget to buckle up!"

Zoe and Kyle sit in one pod with Sarah and Jimmy in the other. Zoe gives an enthusiastic thumbs-up once they're ready.

"Alrighty, then!" Eddy motions Ed to start the ride. Ed lifts the ride from its center and starts spinning. He spins faster and faster...

"WHHHOOOOAAAAA!!" Sarah and Jimmy are stuck to their seats.

"YES ED, SPIN FASTER!!" Zoe shouts in joy, so Ed spins even faster. "FASTER!!" Ed spins faster. _"FASTER FASTER FASTER!!"_

Ed spins the ride so fast that it becomes a blur and loosens the screws on Zoe's and Kyle's pod, causing it to fly off, crash through Jenna's house , and skid to a stop in her backyard!

_"MY HOUSE!!"_ Jenna screams upon seeing the hole ripped through her house. Zoe and Kyle emerge from their totaled pod.

"WHOOO, THAT WAS FUN!!" Zoe exclaims, then offers Eddy 20 dollars. "GIMME MORE!!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Jonny talks with Plank in his room as he changes into orange clothes: _"Will you stop already, Plank?................ Why shouldn't I join the Drupes? It's for a good cause, so gimme a reason not to........................ Pots callin kettles black? What does that even mean?............... No, the Drupes are NOTHIN like the Acids!......... Whatever, Plank; let's go. Stay in my bag so you don't get hurt."_

Jonny puts Plank in his backpack and heads outside.

* * *

The Eds have built a huge wooden bucket-shaped pool called "MAELSTROM ABYSS." A staircase goes to the top, where there's a platform with a big waterslide that spirals down into the whirlpool below, which has pipes that pump water up to the slide. Pirate music plays as Double-D and Eddy wait at the top, dressed as pirates.

"Ahoy, mateys! Welcome to Maelstrom Abyss!" Captain Eddy greets as Zoe, Sarah, Jimmy and Kyle arrive in their swimsuits. Sarah's is the same. Jimmy wears white trunks. Kyle wears blue-&-pink boardshorts. Zoe wears a bright green bikini.

"Ahoy, Captain!!" Zoe greets excitedly.

"Yarr, now listen up!" Capt. Eddy explains the ride's rules: "Ye must slide down, dive into the whirlpool, and find the exit hatch! _But be be quick, or else the Kraken will come and drag ye down to Davy Jones's locker! Yahahaharr!"_

"Looks like fun!" Kyle comments.

"Ehehehe, most WICKED!!" Zoe exclaims, while Jimmy is unnerved by... _"Th-The K-K-K-Kraken?..."_

"Yarr! And just so ye don't hurt yer little legs on the way down, use these!" Double-D supplies swimtubes for the 4 kids.

"Gimme that!" Sarah snatches her tube and slides down. Jimmy hops into his tube but is too scared to slide down, so Kyle nudges him! Jimmy SCREAMS as he slides dwon, then Kyle slides down with a "KAWABUNGA!!"

"Screw the tube, I'M GOIN HARDCORE!!" Zoe discards her tube and slides down penguin-style! _"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, WHOOHOOO!!"_

"THERE YA GO, LASSIE!" Capt. Eddy cheers as Zoe belly-slides past her 3 friends and splashes down into the whirpool. When Sarah, Jimmy and Kyle splash down, Ed dramatically rises up from the whirlpool in a Kraken costume!

_"RRROOOOOAAARRR!!!"_ Ed swooshes his tentacles around as the 4 kids swim against the whirlpool's pull to find the exit hatch.

"ANYBODY SEE THE HATCH!?" Kyle asks, dodging a tentacle.

"NOT YET!" Sarah answers as the whirlpool starts pulling them in. Ed grabs Sarah. "AH!!"

"NOO!!" Kyle and Jimmy are grabbed, then Zoe sees that there's no hatch in sight. Then the whirlpool sucks her underwater!

"OH, LORD!" Double-D panics. "DID YOU GUYS FORGET TO PUT THE HATCH!?"

"Take a chill pill, will ya?" Eddy says. _"We put it underwater to increase the thrill factor!"_

_"WHAT!?"_ Double-D's eyes bug out in shock as Zoe opens the exit hatch at the bottom, causing all the water to BLAST out and Zoe, Sarah, Jimmy, Kyle and Ed are blasted out with it. The water surges through the hole in Jenna's house, washing her out through the back with everything in her house.

"IS EVERYONE ALRIGHT!!?" Double-D asks as he and Eddy head inside Jenna's drenched house. Ed's in the living room with Sarah on the ceiling fan above him, Kyle revives Jimmy via CPR in the hallway, and Zoe's in the kitchen.

"What a doozy!" Ed says, taking off his torn Kraken costume.

"Ok, I've had enough." Sarah says. Jimmy and Kyle reply "Ditto."

_"I LOVED THAT, CAPTAIN!! But I still hunger for more!"_ Zoe says, pulling 30 dollars from under her bikini top!

_"Are you serious, Zoe? Look at all the damage done to Jenna's house!"_ Double-D reasons.

_"30 MORE DOLLARS!? I LOVE THIS GIRL!!"_ Eddy exclaims before seeing Jenna step inside, her teeth sharp with anger.

_"GET... OUT... OF... HERE!!!"_ Jenna yells in rage, and everyone quickly runs out!

**To be Continued...**

* * *

Trivia: The names of the Drupes and Acids gangs are based on their towns of origin. Lemons are highly acidic citrus fruits, while peaches are classified as drupes (fruits that have their seeds encased in tough shells). Speaking of the Drupes, Dave is named after one of the show's storyboard artists, Dave Mah.

Character Inspiration: Zoe was by far the hardest OC for me to create because I couldn't find a good personality or base her off a single person. But over the years, I've met many girls that influenced Zoe's design. My 8-year-old niece is hyperactive from too much sugar. A close friend of mine frequently makes obscene remarks. One of my classmates hated boredom and always wanted excitement (unfortunately, this led her to drugs), and another classmate was really crazy (wild crazy). Her favorite word "wicked" is the source of Zoe's "most WICKED" catchphrase!


	10. I Get an Ed Out of You pt 2

Sorry I was late again, but I did mention lateness will always be possible. Anyway, enjoy and review! I aslo edited Jonny's bio on my profile.

* * *

2 Acids are talking near the end of the lane as they're watched by a Drupe spy hiding behind a pole. The Drupe spy stealthily jumps behind a nearby street corner, where he rejoins Dave, Jonny and several other Drupes.

"There's 2 by the lane, Dave." the Drupe spy reports.

"Ok boys, you got yo fire ready?" Dave asks.

"Yeh!" all the Drupes except Jonny reveal guns, greatly shocking Jonny.

"What are you guys doin?" Jonny asks. _"You're not killin em, are you?"_

"Of course!" Dave answers. "I know it's bad, _but if people want good done, they gotta do bad things._ That's life, man."

"Wait wait wait!" Jonny stops his fellow Drupes. "Let me handle em. _I got an idea!"_

Jonny sneaks across the street and through a hole in the fence, then he lays low and makes squirrel noises to attract squirrels. He talks to them via squirrel-speak to have them climb into a tree above the 2 Acids and pelt them with barrages of nuts.

"SHIT, WHAT'S GOIN ON?!" an Acid asks.

"THEM, LOOK!" the other Acid points up at the squirrels. "LET'S GET OUR BOYS AND KILL EM!" he suggests, and they run off. Then Jonny rejoins the Drupes on the street.

"Ok man, I got no idea how you did that, but I like yo strategy!" Dave ankowleges Jonny. "Ok boys, follow me! Once them Acids come back, we gun em down!"

_"What?....."_ Jonny asks.

"Move boys, move!" Dave leads the Drupes to their ambush spot while Jonny stays behind in shock, then he runs after them: "STOP!!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Zoe stands on a wooden platform atop a pole in the middle of the 1st cul-de-sac. An elastic band has been stretched like a tightrope from the platform and across to another platform standing in the 2nd cul-de-sac. The Eds, Sarah, Jimmy and Kyle watch from bleachers in the park, with Double-D holding a stack of pottery.

"HERE'S THE LAYDOWN, ZOE!" Eddy calls to Zoe via megaphone: "DOUBLE-D'S GONNA GIVE YOU THIS STACK OF POTS IN A MOMENT! THEN YOU GOTTA CROSS _'HELL'S WALKWAY_' WITHOUT DROPPIN ANY OF EM! IF YOU DO, or worse yet, _IF YOU FALL, THAT'S PRETTY MUCH THE END OF YOUR THRILL TRAIN'S VOYAGE! SO DON'T SCREW UP!"_

"Um, Eddy." Double-D says in Eddy's ear: _"Don't you think this one may be a tad too dangerous? Perhaps we can try something safer."_

"She'll be fine, Sockhead!" Eddy assures. "Think less safety worries and more comedy. Now give her the pots."

"Oh, I'll think comedy- _of your consequences should Zoe get hurt."_ Double-D snidely mumbles. He climbs a ladder to the platform to give Zoe the pottery stack. Sarah and Kyle cheer Zoe on while Jimmy has a panicky look on his face.

"Too easy!" Zoe smirks and RUNS along the tighrope without any difficulty!

"She'd be an awesome circus act, eh?" Ed asks Eddy, who gives him a bottle of oil and a pack of matches, then tells something into Ed's ear that freaks him out: "Um, I'm gonna have to take Double-D's side on this, Eddy."

"Just go and wait til I say so!" Eddy pushes Ed away, then jumps into the seat of a rotary cannon made of junk and cardboard. He loads it with several cans of paint: _"Zoe will surely get a kick outta this!"_

Zoe has almost reached the tightrope's halfway mark when Eddy raises the paintball cannon up and aims it at her. She looks with an excited "Hehe, I knew it wouldn't be THAT easy!"

Eddy begins firing paintballs to bombard Zoe and hinder her progress, but she dodges with crazy feats of human flexibility (like Jonny in "Shoo Ed") while keeping the pot-stack safe.

"Ah Zoe, master of gymnastics!" Kyle comments as Zoe dodges Eddy's paintballs. 2 pots are shot off the stack, but just as they begin falling, Zoe catches one with her hand (while holding the stack with her other hand) and uses her foot to snag the other pot by its handle, using her other foot to balance herself on the tightrope! Then she flings both pots back onto the stack and continues past the halfway mark. Kyle comments "Gnarly!"

"Wow, she might actually pull this off!" Double-D says in amazement.

_"Time to turn things up a notch!"_ Eddy says, taking out his megaphone to call Ed: "SET IT ABLAZE!"

Ed sets the tightrope ablaze, and the fire quickly gains on Zoe who's being slowed down by Eddy's paintballs. Double-D, Sarah, Jimmy and Kyle watch nervously as Zoe nearly falls while trying to outrun the fire. But from her near-fall, Zoe notices the tightrope is actually a stretched-out elastic band.

_"Solution!"_ Zoe bounces up-&-down along the elastic tightrope until she makes one big LEAP, hurling the pots into the air over the end of the tightrope course and dropping towards the end platform. She lands with such velocity that it forces the ending pole into the ground and catapults the starting pole (and Ed) into the sky with the burning tightrope! As the pots fall, Zoe stretches out her arms, legs and tongue to catch them all! Everyone cheers for Zoe while Ed falls head-first into Jenna's lawn.

_"You guys better not be up to anythin!"_ Jenna warns, then she sees the starting pole dropping down. She and Ed respectively jump and roll to doge the pole, which plows into the lawn and misses them both. But unfortunately, the burning tightrope is still connected to the pole and it touches Jenna's roof!! Jenna SCREAMS as the fire engulfs her already-wrecked house, and the Eds, Sarah, Jimmy, Zoe & Kyle wisely run before Jenna gets angry. They hide in the lane.

"So Zoe, did ya like?" Eddy asks Zoe. "Or do ya want more!?"

"I believe you were holdin back on that last one." Zoe says. _"I want ya to go all-out and make me the biggest, most dangerous, life-threatening thrill you can think of! I'll pay 100 for it!"_

"REALLY?!! WE'RE ON IT, DANGEROUS IT IS!!" Eddy takes Ed and Double-D.

* * *

Firetrucks speed towards Jenna's house while a gang of Acids wipe paint off their car's windshield, which was hit by Eddy's rogue paintballs off-screen.

"This hood's crazy, son." an Acid comments Peach Creek's wild happenings.

"They're back, let's move in." Dave and his Drupes sneak through the bushes to ambush the Acids.

"GUYS, STOP! THERE'S A BETTER WAY TO SETTLE THIS!" Jonny calls towards the hiding Drupes, unknowingly alerting the Acids to his presence and they aim their guns at him: _"OH SHIT!!"_

_"A DRUPE! WASTE HIM!"_ the Acids fire at Jonny, who braces himself. When the storm of bullets ceases, Jonny is shocked and relieved to still be alive and completely unscathed!! The Acids missed every shot with their awkward gun-holding!

"Dammit, we missed again..." an Acid complains.

"HAHA, EAT THIS!!" a Drupe pops out of the bush with his AK47. He fires, but no bullets!... "Huh?..." he tries again, but still no gunfire. "Ah shit, I forgot to load!"

"DUMBASS!" Dave pushes the AK47-wielding Drupe aside and aims his twin pistols at the Acids, who hop into their car for cover. They speed away while firing at the Drupes, who hop into their own car to chase their rivals. A gunfight ensues!

* * *

On a hill overlooking Peach Creek, there's a giant slingshot made of an armchair tied to a bungee cord, which is fastened to a dead tree with the armchair being held to the ground by Eddy. This is recorded by a mounted camera, which connects all the way back to Double-D's basement where Double-D, Sarah, Jimmy and Kyle are watching through a network of camera screens. They see Zoe sit on the slingshot's armchair, wearing a parachute bag.

"This is it, Zoe!" Eddy exclaims. _"Remember, the Underworld Express is big, dangerous, AND life-threatening! And once you see the end, deploy the parachute!"_

Zoe is so excited that she makes a big psychotic grin, to which Double-D comments _"Her grin is as ominous as Eddy's, if not moreso."_

_"I GOTTA STOP HER OR SHE'LL DIE!!"_ Jimmy freaks and rushes all the way to the slingshot at cartoon-speed: _"ZOE, DON'T DO IT!! YOU COULD GET KILLED!! RECONSIDER, PLEASE!!"_

"Aw, thanks for your concern!" Zoe hops off the slingshot and hugs Jimmy, but the hug turns into a tight hold! _"But I ain't dyin til I turn 78! And until then, Amy Zoe Navarro is all about DANGER AND THRILLS!! Now come enjoy it with me!"_

"Wait, LET ME GO!" Jimmy struggles in vain as Zoe takes him to the slingshot with her. She hands the 100-dollar bill to Eddy: "We're ready to fly!"

_"Good luck, then!"_ Eddy lets go of the chair, catapulting Zoe & Jimmy high across the air! Jimmy SCREAMS as he and Zoe drop down into the woods and land in a rocket-car that ZOOMS through the woods along a steel railtrack. Along the entire ride are cameras that allow Double-D, Sarah and Kyle to watch. The rocket-car loops upside-down, around trees, and passes through flaming hoops! They duck to dodge swinging blades and skeletons hanging from trees. A skeleton falls on Jimmy, he FRANTICALLY throws it off, then...

_"AAAAAHHH!!"_ he screams as he and Zoe ride past Satan (actually Ed in a Satan costume) at the junkyard's entrance. The rocket-car goes through a tunnel of junk that's been stocked with torches, pitchforks, cardboard demons, and a mist machine. At the end of the tunnel is a torch with a sign that reads "GRAB ME!" Zoe jumps off devil hands to grab the torch as the rocket-car zooms out the tunnel, then sees a bunch of explosives lining the track with signs that read "LIGHT US!!"

"Wooowwwww!!" Sarah and Kyle watch the cameras in amazement as Zoe lights the explosives, setting off dramatic explosions as she and Jimmy ride along. Then Double-D, Sarah and Kyle cross their fingers with tense faces as Zoe & Jimmy reach a "JUMP" sign at the end of the track. Zoe grabs Jimmy...

_"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"_ Zoe jumps with Jimmy, who simultaneously SCREAMS as they soar across a wide pit of flaming oil-drums! Ed and Eddy join Double-D, Sarah & Kyle in Double-D's basement to watch through the cameras as Zoe & Jimmy land on a rocket resembling a Bullet Bill from Mario!!

_"Ah, the best part!"_ Eddy remarks as the the rocket's fuse was already lit by Zoe back at the fireworks, and the rocket blasts off!!

_"WAAAAAHHH!!!"_ Jimmy cries, holding onto Zoe for dear life as they fly up into the air, with Zoe screaming "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHH!!!"

* * *

The Drupes' and Acids' cars parallel each other and the rival gangs exchange gunfire, heavily damaging their cars' sides.

"YO, JUST LET ME TALK!!" Jonny tries reasoning, only to have gunfire aimed at him so he ducks back into the Drupes' car. Eventually, both gangs run out of ammo, so they bump each other with their cars. 2 Acids jump on top of the Drupes' car! One reaches in and pulls Jonny out, and they fist-fight.

"NIGGA!" Dave jumps up to help Jonny, while the 2nd Acid kicks the Drupes' windshield inwards. This causes the driver Drupe to lose control and he drives into a large pothole, catapulting Jonny, Dave, and the Acid they were fighting into the air and they land on the Acids' car! 2 more Acids emerge to knock off Jonny and Dave, one fighting Jonny while Dave fights the others: "BRING IT, MUTHAFUCKAS!!"

Jonny and his Acid foe knock each other onto the rear bumper, where Jonny manages to kick the Acid off. Then he hears Plank inside his backpack: "What, Plank?....... _No, I don't think I can do that..... Ok, I'll try."_

Jonny crawls under the car after telling Dave to "JUMP OFF!" Dave knows what Jonny's gonna do, so he shoves his opponents back inside and jumps off as Jonny uses Plank like a wrench to unscrew one of the Acids' front wheels, making the car spin out, hit a curb, and barrel through the air, knocking Jonny & Plank off. The Acids' car somersaults into the 2nd cul-de-sac and comes to rest, totaled with the Acids stuck inside!

"Ugh!" The Acids see firefighters dousing the fire that engulfed Jenna's house. One Acid notices something else: "Yo, what's that?"

The Acids' see Zoe and Jimmy flying around on the rocket, which begins to zigzag downwards.

"There's the target!" Zoe sees the ending target right in the middle of the 2nd cul-de-sac. "DEPLOY!!"

Zoe grabs the traumatized Jimmy and deploys her parachute, gently floating down as the rocket erratically descends. Jenna sees it... _"Oh no no no no..."_ she prays that the rocket doesn't hit her house, of which little is left from the doused fire.

Instead, the rocket hits the Acids' car and KABOOM!! Wheels and parts fly everywhere, and the burning Acids run away screaming! The firefighters douse the car wreckage, then hop into their firetrucks to chase the burning Acids down the street and douse them. Afterwards, falling pieces of metal from the Acids' car slice through the exposed support beams of Jenna's house, causing it to collapse completely!!

_"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"_ Jenna screams at the sight of her destroyed home while Zoe and Jimmy land on the ending target!!

* * *

A dirty and exhausted Jonny regroups with Dave and the Drupes, and they watch the Acids run out of Peach Creek.

"Well, we won, boys!" Dave announces. "Peach Creeks's ours again!"

"But look at all the damage!" Jonny points out all the property damage from their turf war. _"We could've prevented all this if you guys just let me negotiate."_

"Whatever. The important thing is them Acids are gone!" Dave says. _"Now let's smoke our victory blunts!"_

A Drupe opens up a large package containing blunts. The package box is discarded on the ground as the Drupes smoke their blunts, greatly shocking Jonny! What's more, the Drupes drop the blunt butts on the ground after finishing their victory smoking!

_"..... Are you kiddin me? Are you fuckin KIDDING ME?!"_ Jonny yells at the Drupes: _"YOU JUST DROP YOUR SHIT ON THE GROUND LIKE NOTHING!? THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YA'LL?!! TALKIN ABOUT MAKIN THE STREETS A BETTER PLACE, YEAH RIGHT!! YOU'RE ONLY POISONING THE WORLD WITH YOUR LITTERING AND YOUR 'if people want good done, they gotta do bad things' BULLSHIT!! YA'LL DON'T GOTTA KILL TO DO GOOD, IN FACT THAT ONLY MAKES SHIT WORSE!! YOU'RE JUST LIKE THE ACIDS!!! IF YOU WANNA MAKE THE STREETS A BETTER PLACE, MAKE YOURSELVES BETTER PEOPLE: LEARN TO READ, FINISH YOUR EDUCATION, GET A DAMN JOB!!! AND IF YA'LL CAN'T BRING YOURSEVES TO DO THAT, THEN YOU JUST A BUNCH OF RETARDED PUSSBAGS!!! NOW GOOD DAY, I'M DONE WITH THIS!!!"_

Jonny furiously stomps away, while telling Plank "You were right, buddy: _those Drupes are nothin but pots callin kettles black."_

* * *

The Eds, Sarah and Kyle rejoin Zoe & Jimmy at the corner of the 2nd cul-de-sac. Sarah hugs Zoe & Jimmy while Kyle says _"Glad you guys made it through alive! Epic WIN!!"_

"So, anymore hundred-dollar thrills ya want, my favorite customer?!" Eddy asks.

"Well, normally I'd be like 'YEEEAAAHHH,' but Jimmy was kinda shaken by the ride." Zoe points to the traumatized Jimmy, who deliriously asks _"Am I in heaven?"_

"Let's get him some ice." Sarah takes Jimmy to his house. Kyle and Zoe follow, Zoe looking back to the Eds: _"But hey, have another one prepared for tomorrow, will ya? See ya later, GYAHAHAHA!!"_

She and Kyle dissapear around the corner while Eddy marvels at the 160 dollars in his hands: _"Y'know, I might just start a circus with Zoe as our main attraction! SHE'LL MAKE US RICH, AND RICH EQUALS A LIFETIME OF JAWBREAKER MINIS!!"_

"I wouldn't put all my eggs into one basket if I were you, Eddy." Double-D advises, then Ed pokes their shoulders...

"Guys..." Ed points at the furiously approaching Jenna, sharp-toothed and wielding a crowbar! She screams in Spanish (subtitled via brackets):

_"[YOUR SCAMS DESTROYED MY HOUSE!! NOW YOU 3 ARE GONNA PAY OFF FOR A NEW ONE!!!]"_

"What'd she say?" Eddy asks, not understanding Spanish.

_"HYAAAAAAAAAHHH-"_ Jenna attacks, then we hear a brutal WHAM as the screen cuts to black!!

**The End!!!**

* * *

Thanks to Neo H.B.B Sam for the Jonny-&-gangs plot, and thanks to Big A1 for the paintballs!! Moral: NEVER join a gang, it won't do you any good.

And don't worry about Jenna's house, it'll be restored in later episodes like Jonny's was.


	11. Ed Stroke pt 1

Here's Chapter 6, which has a football game and I thank Neo H.B.B. Sam for helping me with it! I'm using the Jr. High names "Cobblers" and "Lumpers" because I couldn't think of any better names for the high school teams. Anyways, enjoy and review!

* * *

_**Episode #6: Ed Stroke**_

* * *

_"Here we are, the final game of the season!"_ an announcer says as people cheer from the bleachers at Lemon Brook High's football field, then the screen fades to black. Then we see the Lemon Brook Lumpers and Peach Creek Cobblers staring each other down before the screen fades to black again. Then: "Heads!" we see a coin flipped into the air as the screen fades to black again. Then...

KICKOFF!! The ball soars through the air, is caught by kick returner Jonny, and he gains some yardage before getting tackled by a Lumper. Then the Cobblers' offense huddles up. Their quarterback is a guy named Steve, who has tanned skin and blonde hair: "Good job, Jonny! Ok boys, listen up..."

The Peach Creek cheerleaders consist of Nazz, Jenna (revealed to have a bellybutton piercing), and several other girls, including a pink-haired girl and a sassy fat black girl. They and the Lemon Brook cheerleaders cheer as their respective teams position themselves along the line of scrimmage. The Cobblers' coach, Coach Underwood, watches from the sidelines. He wears blue and has a beard.

"Twenty-two, twenty-two. Hike!" Ed snaps the ball to Steve to begin the play. The Cobblers play offense until they have Eddy punt the ball. The Lumpers quickly score a touchdown (6), then score an extra point (7). Rolf scores a field goal for the Cobblers (3) before the 1st quarter ends.

"Dammit, we're off to a bad start." team captain Kevin says: _"We CANNOT let this end in a blowout like last year, boys. So let's use this quarter to turn the tables. Ed, right now we need you as gunner."_

"Right!" Ed affirms, then Rolf kicks the ball to the Lumpers to initiate the 2nd quarter. Gunner Ed races down the field and slams into the Lumpers' kick returner! Later, on the third down...

"Looks like the Lumpers are gonna try 'that' pass again." middle linebacker Kevin informs: "Get into positions. Cornerbacks, be ready."

The play commences, and when the Lumpers' quarterback makes the pass...

"INTERCEPTION, FOOL!" cornerback Paul leaps up, intercepts the ball, and runs with it until he's tackled. From there, the Cobblers work their way to the Lumpers end zone until fullback Eddy scores a touchdown (9)! The cheerleaders cheer, then the Cobblers score an extra point (10) and kick the ball to the Lumpers. On the second down, Kevin has defensive end Rolf sack the Lumpers' quarterback, which is successful!

"Ah, Rolf makes a fine defensive end, yes!" Rolf says proudly. Later, Steve makes a 40-yard touchdown pass to wide reciever Jonny (16), and the cheerleaders cheer! The Lumpers' offense gets a 10-yard penalty for holding, then near ear the end of the quarter, Steve himself makes a touchdown plus two more points. As the 2nd quarter ends, the Cobblers are winning 24-7!"

"Time to get serious." the Lumpers' captain says. During the 3rd quarter, they make one of the Cobblers' tight ends fumble the ball, and they take possession. Shortly afterwards, the Lumpers score to raise their points to 15. They kick the ball to the Cobblers, but kick returner Jonny is quickly forced out of bounds. Later, the Cobblers try another punt. Long-snapper Ed snaps the ball to punter Eddy, who unfortunately gets sacked and the Cobblers lose massive yardage. This allows another easy touchdown plus extra for the Lumpers (23). And to top off the quarter, Steve is brutally blitzed by the Lumpers' linebackers, breaking his arm and leg! GASPS!

_"STEVE!!"_ the pink-haired cheerleader (Steve's girlfriend) screams and runs after Steve as he's taken away on a stretcher. The LB cheerleaders perform a taunt routine towards the Cobblers and their cheerleaders, so Jenna flips them off: "UP YOURS, BITCHES!"

_"There goes Sanders."_ Underwood slaps his forehead in frustration at Steve's loss, then looks at Kevin: "Dorn, you know what to do."

"I know." Kevin replaces Steve as quarterback for the final quarter, which starts off poorly for the Cobblers as the Lumpers score again (31). The Cobblers' offense gains significant yardage but is unable to score. Still, it's far enough to keep the Lumpers' offense at bay. The Cobblers eventually score a touchdown (30), but with only seconds left, they must score the 2-point conversion to win.

"Ok Eddy, it all comes down to you, man. _I'm gonna hand the ball to you, then you run as FAST as you can towards the end zone."_ Kevin tells Eddy, who affirms "Got it."

They get into positions. The play commences, Kevin hands the ball to Eddy, and the blocking Cobblers hold off the Lumpers while Eddy runs towards the end zone, shedding off more Lumpers. Just as he's about to score, a slow-motion sequence shows a Lumper tackling him into the air and everyone tenses up, awaiting the final result. As he lands, Eddy holds the ball out so it just barely reaches the end zone, scoring the two points and handing victory to the Cobblers!!!

_"WHOOOOOOOO!!!"_ the cheerleaders cheer happily, and Underwood victoriously throws his arms up! The Cobblers slam chests with each other, and the cheerleaders hug and kiss them!

"Gimme some sugar, boys!" the black cheerleader kisses each player.

_"You're awesome!"_ Jenna joyfully hugs Kevin, then she realizes this and lets go: "I mean, good job!"

The Cobblers take their trophy and pose for a pic with it, then march off doing their victory cheer! The Lumpers angrily return to their locker room.

"Beat us on OUR turf, will they? Prance off with OUR trophy, will they?" a Lumper mumbles angrily.

_"Don't worry, boys!"_ another Lumper takes out his cell phone...

* * *

The Cobblers continue their victory aboard their bus back home. Leaving the industrial streets of Lemon Brook, the bus travels across the vast sunflower fields, farms and cow pastures from BPS, and eventually they enter the desert. They pass by a gas station along the way.

"You doin ok, Sanders?" Underwood asks Steve, whose broken arm and leg are bandaged. He answers with an "I'm fine" gesture. Underwood turns to the other boys: "I'm proud of you, boys! Excellent defense, Dorn!" he compliments Kevin. "Superb catch, Ludgate!" he compliments Jonny. "Nice kicking and sacking, Vorlik!" he compliments Rolf. "The team wouldn't be the same without you, Christensen!" he compliments Ed. "McGee, you won it for us!" he compliments Eddy. "Fantastic interception, Stewart!" he compliments Paul.

"Oh, it's nothin!" Paul replies. "I'm just a beastly quarter- I mean, cornerback!... Quarterback, cornerback! They sound so alike, hehe!"

"Man, I'm takin a shower first thing I get home." Ed says, his sweat-enhanced odor causing the boys around him to recoil.

"You do that!" Eddy agrees, holding his nose.

_"Rolf can't wait to return to his residence and fill his empty belly!"_ Rolf says.

"Well deserved, Rolf! You guys made history today!" Nazz says. "This calls for celebration!"

"Yeah, you're right!" Kevin stands up: "PARTY AT MY-"

The bus suddenly jerks and flips sideways upon making a turn, and it barrels off the road. It then rolls down a slope of jagged rocks.

"WHAT'S GOING ON!!?" Jonny shouts.

"FUCK THIS, I AIN'T DYIN!" the bus driver pulls a lever on his seat, ejecting himself away and out of sight with it! Seeing this, the black cheerleader yells "OH HE DID NOT JUST ABANDON US!!"

The bus tumbles down into a dry lakebed, and continues tumbling for a good distance before finally coming to rest.

* * *

One by one, everyone gets up and wipe the dust off themselves.

_"Is everyone ok?"_ Underwood asks.

"Define ok." Jenna answers, holding her chest. Nazz asks her "Is my hair messed up?"

While Kevin snaps his spine back into place, Paul holds his crotch in pain:"I don't know if I'm ok, cause my kiwis feel like they sterile from all that crashin!"

"Stop whinin; losin yo balls ain't gonna kill ya." the black cheerleader tells Paul.

"Whoa, why's everything backwards?" Ed asks as he gets up. Then he realizes that his face is pointing backwards due to the bus crash! So he fixes his face so it points forwards again. Eddy pulls himself from under a crushed seat.

"OW, MY LEG!" Steve feigns: "Ha, just kiddin!" This earns him a smack from his pink-haired girlfriend.

While the boys wrench their trophy from under a busted seat, Underwood steps outside to look around. Then the others step out.

"Christ, of all places we had to crash in a DESERT!?" Kevin asks in disbelief.

_"And Rolf must dine soon, too."_ Rolf says, his stomach growling. _"Where's civilization?"_

Jenna tries calling on the bus radio, but when she grabs it, she and the cheerleaders see that the radio was busted in the crash.

"The radio's busted, coach." she tells Underwood.

"You guys stay here." Underwood says. _"I think I saw a gas station on the road a coupla miles back. I'm gonna go see if I can go call for help there. I should be back in about half an hour or so."_

Underwood backtracks away into the lonely desert and out of the Cobblers' sight. The Cobblers, seeing how bad the bus's condition is, instead take shade under a large rocky outcrop nearby, which has a stand of cacti and withered trees on top. As they begin their wait for Underwood's return, Rolf's stomach growls more intensely...

* * *

It's sunset, but Underwood hasn't returned. Everyone is tired and dry-tongued. By now, messy-haired Rolf is so hungry that he has a deranged look on his face and is giggling psychotically! Ed and Eddy are playing Xs-&-Os in a patch of sand on the rock outcrop, Kevin is laying down with the trophy, Jonny is chatting with Plank, and Paul is rapping some 2Pac & Biggie songs as he relaxes. The other boys are chatting with their cheerleader girlfriends. Jenna listens to reggaeton on her i-pod, while Nazz checks the time on her cell phone:

_"... It's been two hours, and Underwood still hasn't returned."_ Nazz worries.

"What's takin him?" Kevin asks. _"I got a bad feeling about this."_

"What if something bad happened to him?" Nazz worries.

"Chill, girl. I'm sure Underwood could take care of himself." the black cheerleader reassures Nazz.

"He needs to hurry up cuz we're all starvin over here." Eddy says, pointing to Rolf: "Just look at Stretch over there."

_"Ehehehe! Mama, is Rolf's calamari stew done?!"_ Rolf hallucinates as he lays on his back.

"Country Boy don't look too good. Spitta, go see if he's ok." Paul sends one of the boys, Spitta (a nickname, of course), to go check on Rolf.

"I'll try calling for help." Nazz calls her parents on her cell phone, but they don't answer. So she tries Double-D:

_"Hello, Nazz! What is it?"_ Double-D asks.

_"I know this may sound out-of-the-ordinary, but our bus crashed and we're stranded in the desert."_ Nazz says.

_"..... You're kidding, right?"_ Double-D asks. _"I knew you guys haven't arrived yet for some reason, but-"_

_"No, I'm serious."_ Nazz says. _"Our coach went to get help but he hasn't returned. We're tired, hungry, and it's almost nightfall. So please, could you contact a rescue team or somethin?"_

_"Ok, then."_ Double-D answers. _"I'll call you back."_

_"Thanks, dude!"_ Nazz ends the call. _"Double-D's gonna get help, guys!"_

_"Good! Now we just need a game plan to survive til they come."_ Jenna declares: "First, we need to-"

"Whoa whoa whoa, who elected you as our leader all of a sudden?" Kevin asks Jenna. "If anyone's gonna lead in this situtation, it should be me!"

"Why?" Jenna asks.

"Come on, _you know you admire my leadership skills!"_ Kevin says. "I'm the football captain, and that's sayin somethin!"

"Football and desert survival are 2 completely different things, Kevin." Jenna argues. Meanwhile, Jonny checks the bus wheels, which have large holes ripped into them. It appears as if they've been blown by road spikes.

"Somethin ain't right here, Plank." Jonny says. "HEY GUYS!..." the others don't hear him because they're watching Kevin and Jenna bicker.

"Oh well, looks like it's just you and me, buddy." Jonny sets out in the same direction Underwood went.

"Well, I don't recall ya ever watchin Survivorman." Kevin bickers with Jenna.

"I don't." Jenna admits. _"But unlike you and the other boys, I actually pay attention in Earth Science class_. So I know all about how to get through a predicament like this. For example, our water bottles are empty, but we can get water here. Ya know where?"

Kevin looks around... "I don't see water."

"Of course you don't, because it's under our feet." Jenna tells Kevin, climbing the rocky outcrop and pointing out a waterline halfway up: "This is a waterline, see! _That means this whole area's a dry lakebed and this outcrop would be an island._ Now you and the boys use your big strong arms to dig up some water."

"Hell no, I ain't drinkin dirty shitwater under a lakebed!" Eddy scoffs. "There's gotta be somethin else around here."

"HEY GUYS, LOOK!" Ed calls over everyone (except Rolf and Spitta) to the top of the "island" to show them round, pinkish-orange fruits growing on the cacti.

"Dinnertime!" Eddy takes out a pocket-knife to cut off 2 fruits for him and Ed, and Eddy immediately eats up while Nazz stops Ed from doing the same.

_"Guys, you don't know if that's safe to eat or not."_ Nazz says.

"But Double-D told us that cactuses are excellent in storing water." Ed reasons.

"Yeah!" Eddy adds, finishing his cactus fruit. "Come on guys, take some!_ The juice tastes funny, but otherwise it hits the spot!"_

Suddenly, Eddy freezes and his eyes dilate enormously, his head spins wildly, then he worms around in a zigzag pattern! It becomes clear to the others that Eddy is high from eating the cactus fruit!

_"Feels sooo.... sooooo..... goooooood!!!"_ Eddy relaxes until he "sees" everyone on fire:_ "HOLY SHIT, YOU GUYS ARE GETTIN ROASTED LIKE CHICKEN!!!"_

_"Chicken?..."_ Rolf hallucinates again, and he sees everyone as chicken wings, breasts and drumsticks! And with Spitta right next to him...

"Rolf, why you lookin at me like that?" Spitta asks. Then everyone (except the fruit-affected Eddy) hears Spitta SCREAM! They look, and see Spitta scramble up towards them with Rolf chasing him. Spitta jumps into the safety of his friends: "THE DUDE'S GONE MAD!!"

_"SUCCULENT POULTRY, COME TO ROLF!!"_ Rolf, seeing his friends as chicken, jumps towards them in hunger!

**To be Continued...**

* * *

Trivia: Coach Underwood is named after a director and head storyboard artist on the show, Scott Underwood. Quarterback Steve is named after another storyboard artist, Steve Sandersen. Also, Rolf going canniballistic is a throwback to "Scrambled Ed," where he said he would eat Jonny if they didn't find dry land soon.

I now believe that Kevin's surname is Dorn because I think I saw it on his medical file in "This Won't Hurt an Ed." I also believe Jonny's surname is Ludgate because there's a crewmember on the show named Jonny "2x4" Ludgate (I think he does sound effects). I also believe Rolf's surname is Vorlik because in "Jingle Jingle Jangle," there's a sign on his front door that says "Vorlik." I believe Eddy's surname is McGee because Ed said it in "My Fair Ed" and "Mission Ed-Possible." I just came up with a random surname for Ed, Christensen, because I don't think there were any clues in the series. But remember, these are just MY opinions, so if yours differ, that's ok.


	12. Ed Stroke pt 2

Here's part 2, so enjoy and review! I hope you like romantic lulz!

* * *

Jonny has climbed out of the lakebed and reached the part of the road where the bus flipped off.

"Just as I thought..." Jonny sees that it WAS a spike trap that sent their bus off-road. _"Now who set them?"_

Following Underwood's footsteps, Jonny backtracks down the desert road towards the gas station they passed earlier.

* * *

Back at the lakebed, everyone is taking a breather after Rolf's rampage, who uprooted the "island's" trees during his off-screen assault. Rolf himself is now being restrained by Ed, who has Rolf in a hold. But they're practically equal in terms of strength, so Ed is having a tough time holding down the hunger-insane Rolf.

"I got ya, man!" Paul helps Ed pin Rolf to the ground.

"Here here here!!" Jenna frantically collects some trees and dumps them on Kevin: _"Cage that psycho before he kills us, honey!"_

".... Did you just call me _'honey?!'"_ Kevin asks, his 3 long hairs excitedly standing on end.

"JUST CAGE HIM!!" Jenna pushes Kevin into building a cage while Rolf struggles against Ed and Paul.

"TOUGH FOWL, YOU ARE! BUT WAIT UNTIL THIS SON OF A SHEPARD UNLEASHES- GAHHH!!" Rolf is forced to the ground again. Kevin uses the trees Jenna gave him to construct a cage at cartoon-speed, then Ed and Paul toss Rolf inside.

Eddy stumbles around as he hallucinates from the cactus fruit: _"Ohhhh, God!..... I'm soooo freakin out, man!.... Hey Sheranne_ (the black girl)_, when did your ass get soooo huuuge?"_

"Boy, my booty was always huge." Sheranne answers.

"Christine, how's Steve?" Nazz asks Christine, the pink-haired girl.

"He's ok, apart from the injuries Lemon Brook gave him." Christine answers as she drags Steve to safety, away from the caged Rolf. "But I wonder if that cage will hold."

"I'm hope so, but the boys will take care of him should he escape." Nazz reassures, watching the sky get darker and darker as the sun sets. As night falls, everybody starts shivering as the temperature sharply drops. So they huddle together.

"Ed, go get the other trees for firewood." Jenna orders. "AND so we can defend ourselves from Rolf if he escapes."

"Yo Woody, you ok with the whole firewood thing?" Paul asks the absent Jonny._ "..... Woody?....."_

Paul notices that Jonny is missing: "YO, WOODY!...."

"JONNY, WHERE YOU AT!?" the others start calling out Jonny's name: "JONNY, WHERE ARE YOU!?..."

* * *

Jonny continues through the cold of the desert night until he finally reaches the gas station he and his team passed while riding the bus. "There it is, Plank!"

He rushes inside the gas station: "Coach, you here?........What the?..." Jonny sees that the gas station is dilapidated, lit by a single flickering light, and is stocked with numerous boxes. Nobody is there, but Plank seems to "point" at something.

"What'd you find?" Jonny looks, and discovers a pair of shoes near a phone hanging by its cord. He identifies the shoes: _"These are Coach's shoes! Somethin fishy is definitely going on here..... And what's that smell?"_

Jonny smells out an unpleasant odor coming from inside the boxes, and opens up a few. They contain bags of various drugs including marijuana, cocaine, and even heroin! Jonny is horrified by this discovery, then hears cars stopping by outside. He peeks through the window and sees 3 cars, out of which emerge gangsters wearing dirty-green.

"So, what we movin?" a gangster asks his leader as they enter the gas station, while Jonny hides behind some boxes.

"Our quarry here." the leader answers, showing his boys the drug boxes. He explains their plan: _"Sellin all this, plus the extra cash we gettin from our Acid homies, will get us rich quick. And rich equals power!"_

Jonny remembers the Acids (the Lemon Brook gang from the previous episode): _"Acids..."_ he says suspiciously, and one of the gangsters hears him.

"Yo I think I heard somethin..." the gangster heads towards Jonny's hiding spot, but the leader calls him back: "Ignore it. Must be a rat or somethin cuz nobody knows bout this place."

_"How bout that coach guy who tried makin a call here?"_ another gangster asks. "Speakin of that guy, why didn't you let us waste him?"

_"Cuz yo stupid asses forgot where ya set that spike trap to strand them Peach-Creekas."_ the leader answers. _"Thus we don't know where they at, and that's why I had ya'll take the coach hostage: to make him squeal."_

Jonny can't believe what he's hearing, then he listens as the gang leader gets a cell-phone call:

_"Whattup?.............. Ya got him to squeal? Good! Where they at?................... Uh huh!............... Aight, good job! Peace!"_ the leader ends his call, then tells his gang "Listen up, boys. The Peach-Creekas are in some lakebed 9 miles north of here. Four of ya'll go down there and get their football trophy; the rest of us will grab the drugs here and head back to Prickly Pear to meet up with the Acids. Once ya'll get the trophy, call me."

As told, four gangsters hop into one of the cars and drive off towards the lakebed. While the remaining gangsters collect the drug boxes, Jonny sneaks outside and hides under one of the 2 remaining cars. The gangsters fill up the other car with drug boxes and drive it away, then they hop into the car Jonny's hiding under and drive away to follow the drug-filled car. But unknown to the gangsters, Jonny is on the underside of the car.

They ride past a sign that says "PRICKLY PEAR SPRINGS," which comes into view as they ride down a hill. Prickly Pear Springs is the EEnE equivalent of Las Vegas with its colorful lights, famous casinos, numerous nightclubs, and luxurious restaurants & hotels! But as with all big cities, it has crime-riddled ghettos, and that's where the gangsters are going.

* * *

Back at the lakebed, everyone is sitting around a bonfire made from the trees not used to cage Rolf, who is hungrily attempting to break out. As everyone starts falling asleep one-by-one, Nazz gets a call from Double-D:

_"Nazz, I managed to contact a Search-&-Rescue squad, and they're coming by helicopter!"_

_"Really! YES!!"_ Nazz is overjoyed.

_"Now, are there any landmarks near your location to aid the rescue squad in their search?"_ Double-D asks.

_"Um... We're in a dry lakebed with an 'island' sticking up from it. We made a fire, so they should be able to find us by that! Oh, and Jonny went missing. I think he went to find Coach, so we gotta find both of em and pray they're ok."_

_"We're coming with first aid just in case."_ Double-D says.

_"And one last thing."_ Nazz says: _"Bring some meat, because Rolf's goin looney over here."_

_"Got it, I'll bring some. Bye."_ Double-D says before ending the call.

_"Guys, choppers are coming to rescue us!_" Nazz announces, but everyone is asleep except for Ed, Eddy, Kevin, Paul and Jenna.

_"Awwwwwwesoooooooome, I can't waaaaaait to tell em how collllllllllorfuuuul the skyyy is right noooooooooooooowww!!!"_ Eddy says, still under the influence of the cactus as he looks at the night sky: _"Hehehe, now the stars are rapin each other!"_

Nazz giggles at Eddy's hallucinations, then cuddles into sleep with her friends. Meanwhile, Ed, Kevin and Paul are watching Rolf. Jenna, fearing Rolf will break loose, holds onto Kevin for protection.

_"I think she digs you, man!"_ Paul whispers in Kevin's ear.

"No need to be scared, Jenn!" Kevin says with a grin.

"I ain't scared." Jenna denies, breaking away from Kevin. _"And if I was, I wouldn't rely on an immature Neanderthal like you."_

Then a coyote howls from far away, prompting Jenna to go "EEEK!!" and she grabs onto Kevin again! Ed and Paul smirk and give Kevin thumb-ups!

Later on, the bonfire has dimmed and everyone except Rolf is asleep. It's around this time that the four gangsters arrive and climb down into the lakebed to take the football trophy, which is atop the pile of sleeping Cobblers.

"Aight, let's get it." the gangsters quietly sneak in and grab the trophy. But as they turn to leave, Rolf sees them as sausages!

_"Mmmmmm...."_ Rolf drools with hunger. The gangsters hear a SMASH sound, and look in the direction it came from. They see Rolf's busted cage, then Rolf himself appears right behind them! _"RRRAAAAAAAHHH!!!"_

The gangsters try shooting Rolf, but Rolf knocks their guns away before they can fire. Rolf bites onto a gangster, who screams in pain. The others try jumping Rolf, but Rolf beats them all down! Their screaming awakens Ed, Kevin and Paul.

"Oh shit! _ROLF!!"_ Kevin and Ed rush over, Kevin shaping Ed into a mallet to WHAM Rolf into the ground from behind, knocking Rolf unconscious. Paul checks out the beaten gangsters.

_"Yo, I know who these niggas are."_ Paul identifies the gangsters: _"They're Chollas. My cousin fought em when he was a Drupe."_

_"What are you guys doin here?"_ Kevin asks the Chollas as Ed holds them in place.

"I think I found why!" Paul picks up the football trophy, which was dropped by the Chollas. _"But why would ya'll want our trophy?"_

"We ain't tellin." a Cholla answers.

"No matter, we'll turn you all in after we get rescued." Kevin says.

* * *

In a Prickly Pear Springs ghetto, the Chollas stop at a parking lot and step out to meet up with some Acids. Jonny watches from behind the Chollas' cars as the Chollas and Acids greet each other with secret handshakes. Upon closer inspection, Jonny recognizes some of the Acids as...

_"Lumpers..."_ Jonny whispers in shock and anger as the Acids and Chollas chat about various stuff. Then they get down to trophy business:

_"So, where our trophy at?"_ asks an Acid (this is the Lumper who called the Chollas last chapter).

"Chill, man. My boys are gettin it,_ but we'd like our payment for that now!"_ the Cholla leader says. Jonny hears all of this, and upon seeing a phone booth several blocks down, he sneaks away from the gangsters. He goes inside the phone booth and uses some change from his pocket to call the police:

_"Hello.............. I found 2 gangs doing dirty business........... Uh..."_ Jonny looks at the street signs near the gangsters... _"At the intersection of Madison and Henry Streets.............. I'm a Peach Creek High football player. Several members of Lemon Brook High's team are gangsters called Acids and................ Really?! Thank God you know about them and the Chollas!..... Ok, so the Acids made a deal with the Chollas to strand my team in the desert and sent some to steal our trophy. They kidnapped our Coach and they're holding him hostage.......... I don't know where, but please just get down here as fast as possible!....... Thanks!"_

Jonny hangs up the phone, only to discover the Acids and Chollas surrounding the booth he's in. An Acid (also a Lumper) pulls Jonny out.

"Hey, I know you! You that Cobbla who joined them Drupes back in Septemba." the Acid says. _"We soooooo pumpin yo ass full of lead."_

_"Yeh, let's cap his ass!"_ a Cholla says with sadistic glee as he, his fellow Chollas, and their Acid allies pull out their guns to kill Jonny. But at that moment, they're blinded by the headlights of a dozen arriving police cars! An all-out battle ensues between the police and the gangs, and Jonny leaps away from the gunfire and brawling. The police chief collects Jonny and takes him to the safety of his car.

"That was quick, cartoon-quick!" Jonny notes the cops' fast arrival. "Plank is amazed!"

"My men got the gangsters here and I got others lookin for your coach!" the chief says as he drives out into the desert, followed by 2 more police cars. _"Just lead us to where your team's stranded."_

* * *

The sun rises over the desert horizon. While the Cobblers snooze, we see the captured Chollas buried up to their necks nearby. The sun's rays reach the lakebed, and everyone starts waking up one-by-one.

_"Ohhh, why do I feel so shitty?"_ Eddy asks, the influence of the cactus fruit having worn off.

"Hehe, check this out!" one of the boys points at the still-sleeping Kevin and Jenna, with Jenna cuddling on top of Kevin! They wake up...

_"Good morning!"_ Kevin greets Jenna, surprising her!

"GAH!" Jenna jumps off Kevin and wipes herself with her hands! _"Ewww, you were cuddlin me!"_

_"Nah, I believe YOU were the one cuddlin on ME!"_ Kevin replies with a smug face! _"I'd know cuz you were the one on top, and I couldn't move you on top of me cuz that would wake you up!"_

"Ugh, now I smell like you." Jenna scoffs.

"Oh stop, I know you like my body odor!" Kevin says. _"You even made out with me at Double-D's party!"_

_"I WAS DRUNK, ASSHOLE! THAT DOESN'T COUNT!"_ Jenna walks off in disgust. Hiding behind the "island," she blushes and dreamily looks at Kevin!

"Yo, who are these guys?" Sheranne sees the captured Chollas buried neck-high.

_"Chollas. They tried stealin our trophy."_ Paul explains as they hear approaching helicopters. Everyone looks up, and see the rescue helicopters landing to pick them up! Double-D is inside one of them.

_"SALVATION HAS COME, FELLOWS!!"_ Double-D says over a megaphone as the helicopters land.

_"WHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"_ everyone starts hopping aboard the helicopters. Then Jonny and the police arrive, their cars left back at the road.

"JONNY!!" the Cobblers shout in relief. Jonny points out the Chollas, then the cops arrest them.

"Take em away, boys." the chief tells his men.

* * *

Later, Underwood is rescued (off-screen) and rejoins the Cobblers (also off-screen) as the helicopters fly them home. The Eds, Nazz, Jenna, Kevin, Rolf, Jonny and Paul all ride in the same helicopter with several others, with Double-D feeding meat to the starving Rolf.

_"Sweet, tender, juicy meat!"_ Rolf exclaims as he stuffs his face with meat. _"Many thanks, life-saving Ed boy!"_

"So THAT'S what happened!" Eddy says angrily after Jonny explained everything.

"Yup! Lumpers are dirty devils." Jonny answers, holding their trophy.

"That is sooooo low, dude." Nazz says angrily. "They got some real nerve to do that."

"So that settles it. Next year, we kick their asses _TWICE_ as hard!" Kevin says.

"YEAH!" Ed shouts.

"Guys, I think I found our bus driver." Jenna says, spotting their bus driver in the desert dunes down below. The bus driver is happily relaxing in an oasis pool with numerous bikini babes and huts! He sips a slurpee, and looks up at the helicopters.

"WASSUP, GUYS?!" he shouts out. "COME DOWN HERE! THE WATER'S FINE, THE CHICKS ARE HOT, AND THE CUISINE IS EXCELLENT!!"

"...... What the hell is that douche talkin about?" Kevin asks as the others laugh, then it's revealed that the oasis is in fact a mirage! The bus driver is actually wallowing in a sand dune, and his "slurpee" is a rock!!

**The End!!!**

* * *

Trivia: Sheranne is named after another of the show's storyboard artists, Sheranne Johnson. And Christine is named after the show's ink artist, Christine Li.

Prickly pear cacti bear edible fruit, and it is this fruit that Prickly Pear Springs is named after. I learned via research that prickly pear fruit goes well with lemon juice, and the Acid/Cholla alliance alludes to this. Speaking of which, the Chollas are named after the cholla cacti found in the deserts of southwestern USA and Mexico. And don't worry about me having gangs appear 2 episodes in a row. They won't appear again for quite a while, if at all.

Character Inspiration: Jenna is based on my sister, whose best friend is blond like Nazz so I made Nazz and Jenna best friends. My sister isn't an Honors student like Jenna is, but she's bossy and likes to take charge of everything when Mom isn't around, despite the fact she's the baby of the bunch (I'm the middle child). She complains A LOT, hates waiting for even the shortest amounts of time, always loses her temper (usually over trivial matters), and has a habit of flipping people off when angered. She dismisses boys as "immature Neanderthals," but despite this, she's crushing on a guy at her school (I know this because I overheard her phone conversations). This inspired my pairing her with Kevin in a love/hate relationship, though it also kinda reminds me of Duncan/Courtney from the "Total Drama" series.


	13. You Are What You Ed pt 1

I forgot to mention this last week, but BPS is finally coming to America next month!!! Yippee!!! Anyway, here's episode 7.

* * *

**_Episode #7: You Are What You Ed_**

* * *

Numerous candles are lit by a silhouetted teenage girl, who's wearing a pink nightgown and slippers, which she slips her feet out of. The girl (her head cut off by the screen) proceeds to put on necklaces and bracelets made from chicken bones. Then she puts on feathered armbands, acting as chicken's wings. Then she puts on long colorful tail feathers, then feathered anklets. Finally, she puts on a chicken hat, and we see her buckteeth...

May Kanker bows before a sitting, makeshift Ed made from various odds and ends, surrounded by Ed pictures (spanning the cartoon series, timeskip, and Teen Series) and holding chickens in its outstretched hands. This is May's special Ed shrine, and exotic jungle music plays as she does a ritual dance that involves flapping and swaying her wings, shaking her tail feathers, and balancing eggs on her fingers and toes. She dances towards her makeshift Ed, wraps her arms around it...

_"Only you!!..."_ she tenderly tells her makeshift Ed. Then suddenly...

"MAY, GET OUT HERE!" Marie yells, reaching into May's shrine (which is inside their closet) to pull her out by her ankle and hold her upside down.

"Yeah. Rachel's takin us to school, and ya ain't even ready yet." Lee scolds.

"But Lee, Marie." May whines. "You know I worship Big Ed every mor-"

"Just shuttup and get changed." Lee interrupts as Marie takes her lighter from May (which May used to light the shrine's candles) and throws her back in to change clothes.

* * *

Rachel drives the Kankers to PCH, where she parks her car in the students' parking lot. She and the Kankers meet up with Sean, Bill and Dean, and they head towards the main entrance where they see Double-D and Eddy step out of their school bus... WITHOUT ED!!

"Where's Ed?" May asks, saddened by Ed's absence.

"How unfortunate, especially since today's Chewy Chicken Monday." Rachel remarks.

"Don't worry; it's mandatory for a main character to appear sooner or later." Sean replies.

As the Kankers and goths walk down a hallway, they pass by Nazz and Jenna.

"Oh my God! Look Nazz, _it's him!..."_ Jenna blushes at an off-screen guy. Nazz looks...

_"Ian Valentine!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!!!"_ Nazz screams like a rabid fangirl as she lays sight on Ian. Ian is a very attractive and physically fit guy with tanned skin, sexy black hair, and a perfect smile. He wears a gray polo shirt, tight blue jeans, black sneakers, a silver necklace, and ear piercings. With his irresistable looks, girls are always swooning over him, and Nazz is no exception!

"Oh, Ian! Ian!" Nazz calls out to Ian.

"Wassup!" Ian waves to Nazz as he continues down the hallway.

"Aaaaahhh, he said wassup to me!" Nazz pursues Ian: "Ian, come here! I wanna talk to you!"

But, much to Nazz's dismay, Ian is occupied with another girl: "Ian, can I like, hang out with you?!"

"Sure!" Ian puts his arm around the girl and walks off with her, leaving Nazz in speechless shock. Jenna comes to tell her "Don't worry, Nazz. I heard Ian has a 'one at a time' policy........... Um, Nazz?............ Yoohoo, Nazz!....."

Jenna waves her hand in Nazz's face to get her attention, but Nazz is unresponsive: ".........Nazz?.... Well, whatever. See ya in Calculus!"

After Jenna goes, Nazz regains herself but is upset that Ian ignored her: _"He just ignored me and went off with some other girl."_ she sulks. _"I just want him to notice me. What's wrong with me? What am I missing?"_

"I don't know if this will help..." a guy says. _"... But I heard Ian likes meaty girls."_

_"... Meaty girls..."_ Nazz repeats, checking herself in her locker's mirror: _"So that's it, I'm just too skinny!"_

* * *

Since today is Chewy Chicken Monday, everyone is served copious amounts of chicken meat with gravy dip, and little else. Nazz takes hers and sits with Jenna and their girl group, including Christine and Sheranne from the previous episode. Nazz immediately gorges herself on her chicken while Double-D, Eddy, Kevin, Jonny, Rolf and Paul watch from another table.

"Whoa, I've never seen Nazz eat like that!" Kevin says.

"Looks like Nazz girl finally learned of poultry's true value... yo!" Rolf says, proceeding to feast himself.

"I just hope she doesn't overdo it." Double-D hopes, trimming the fat off his chicken: "Meats such as chicken harbor high quantities of lipids. Coupling that with her rate of metabolism-"

"Oh, please!" Eddy interupts, eating a drumstick and shoving Double-D's trimmed fat into his mouth: "It ain't gonna do nothin. Rolfy boy never got fat, and the same goes for Monobrow!"

Double-D spits up the chicken fat into a paper bag, for which Kevin calls Eddy a "douchetard." Then Paul asks "Where is Armpit, anyway?"

"It is rather strange, _since Ed never missed Chewy Chicken Monday until today."_ Double-D notes. "I'll just take the liberty to bring some to his house as a treat!"

* * *

After school, Double-D and Eddy go to Ed's house and ring the doorbell. His Mom opens it.

"Good day, Mrs. Christenen!" Double-D greets. "May we see Ed, for we have a treat for him from school!"

"Is that so?" Ed's mom takes the bag and sees the chicken and gravy-dip inside: "Sorry, he won't be having any chicken for a while."

"Eh, why not?" Eddy asks.

_"My boy always ate chicken, gravy, and toast with way too much butter. All that fat and oil would do him no good, especially considering the the fact that it nearly formed his entire diet."_ Ed's mom explains: _"I tried to get him to balance his diet with other foods, but he always threw it out behind my back in favor of his 'usual.' He simply refused to eat anything else, so I had no choice but to teach him the hard way."_

"Hard way?" Double-D asks... "You don't mean..."

_"I suspended chicken, gravy and butter from his diet to force him into eating other foods."_ Ed's mom declares. "He hasn't eaten anything yet, but he'll have to eventually when he starves. But hey, if you have anything else, feel free to give it to him!"

* * *

Ed sits idly in a corner in his room as Double-D and Eddy enter. "Yo Ed, you missed Chewy Chicken Monday." Eddy informs.

"What's the point?" Ed asks. "Mom said I can't have any more. She took everything from me. _She even took all my chicken stashes and drained my tub of gravy. OH, WOE IS ME!"_

"Big wup. Just go eat chicken at school or a restaurant or somethin." Eddy suggests. "Who's gonna know?"

"Mom's got tabs on me, Eddy." Ed reveals: "She told the authorities at school, and she has Sarah on my back everywhere else." he looks outside, where he sees Sarah bite the head off a flower as a warning to obey Mom. "I try sneaking some, but so far I got caught every time. You gotta help me, guys, or else I'll have to resort to eating my own bed!"

"Don't worry, Ed. Your mother's just trying to help you improve your eating habits!" Double-D says. "Sure it may be unorthodox, but at least it's justified. I can help you with your diet! Let's start with..." he takes out aparagus from his bag. _"Asparagus!"_

"YUCK!" the freaked-out Ed instinctively kicks the asparagus, and Double-D himself, through his door and into the opposite wall, with Double-D's upper body stuck in the wall! Eddy laughs hysterically at this.

_"This is going to be more difficult than I thought..."_ Double-D says, muffled by the wall.

* * *

The next morning, Ed tries sneaking butter from the refrigerator to use for his morning toast, only to get slapped by his mom. She then gives him jelly for his toast, and he slumps in defeat.

Later, when Ed's going to the bus stop...

"HALT RIGHT THERE!" Sarah calls out, and Ed skids to a stop. He turns to see Sarah, with the giggling Zoe by her side. Sarah snaps her fingers, signaling Zoe to jump onto Ed and start sniffing all over him.

_"Oh he's got some, Sarah!"_ Zoe says as she sniffs Ed, crawling inside his jacket. Ed sweats as Zoe searches inside his jacket, then Zoe throws out numerous gravy containers from inside its lining. Then, following her nose, Zoe goes into Ed's pants (yes, he's disturbed by this) and re-emerges with 3 chickens. She gives a thumbs-up to Sarah.

"Nice try, Ed. You may continue now!" Sarah and Zoe walk to their bus stop with Zoe eating the chicken she took from Ed, even though it hasn't been cooked yet.

* * *

Without his buttered toast breakfast, Ed just sits with his face down on his desk through his first 3 classes, completely oblivious to what's going on around him. He and his fellow Eds attend different classes in the morning, and the friends who do take classes with Ed are too busy with their own business to attend to him. As time passes, Ed becomes weaker and weaker. During 4th period, he has swimming class with his best friends.

"LAST ONE IN THE POOL'S A HOMO!" Eddy shouts as he and the other boys (minus Ed) jump into the pool. Double-D, Eddy, Rolf, and Jonny wear the same-colored swimsuits as when they were younger. Kevin now wears green-&-blue, and Paul's are purple. Then the girls dive in. Nazz and Jenna both wear white bikinis with polka-dots; Nazz's has red dots while Jenna's has blue. Nazz has gotten chubbier from eating. Lee wears the same red one-piece. Marie still wears a yellow bikini but it now has purple stripes instead of polka-dots, and she's revealed to have an octopus tattoo on her shoulder and several more piercings on her chest and upper back (all of which are normally hidden under her clothing). May still wears a white bikini, but it covers her upper thighs and she also has a swimcap. Rachel wears a black one-piece that reveals elegant angel wings tattooed onto her back.

The boys (except Double-D) and girls play watersports, but Nazz quickly tires due to her gained weight. Jenna asks "Nazz, why you eatin so much when you _know_ it's gonna trouble you like this?"

As Jenna helps Nazz out of the pool, May and Rachel swim to Double-D at one of the pool's corners.

"Hey, Double-D. A moment of your time, please?" Rachel asks: "We're... concerned for Ed. Because we saw you guys coming off the bus this morning, and he looked like a wreck."

_"Please tell me he's ok."_ May begs. _"I don't wanna see him suffer."_

"Oh, Ed's just going through a phase of withdrawal." Double-D explains: "His mother suspended chicken, gravy, and butter from his diet in an effort to make him resort to other foods and hence improve his eating habits. There's no need for alarm, for I've prepared a balanced and certainly likeable lunch for him."

Rachel hears Ed coming in. She looks at him, and her eyes bug out: _"I suggest you give him lunch now!"_

Double-D and May look, and GASP!! Ed, wearing white swim trunks, is now so malnourished from hunger that you can see his bones!! Seeing the boys diving off the diving board, he heads over, dragging his bony face along the floor and his leg bones crackling with each step!!

_"Oh my God..."_ Lee looks on in shock, and Marie gasps upon seeing Ed's condition. As he approaches the diving board...

"What, Plank?" Jonny is alerted of Ed: "WHOA!! GUYS, LOOK!!"

"Is that Ed?..." Kevin asks. "What the happened to him?"

Eddy is rendered speechless by Ed's condition until Ed reaches the diving board, prompting Eddy to scream "ED, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!!"

"STOP THE EMACIATED ED BOY!!" Rolf shouts as he and the boys race out of the water to stop Ed from diving. Paul screams "ARMPIT, NO!!"

_"Must... swim... for class participation..."_ Ed staggers along the diving board, but is so weak that he can't even jump when he attempts to do so, instead tripping on the board and slipping into the water. He FLOATS face-down for a few seconds, then sinks as his lungs fill with water.

_"ED!!!"_ the boys and May all dive to save Ed. May reaches him first and manages to get him out of the pool.

_"SPEAK TO ME, LAMBCHOP!!!"_ May tries shaking Ed back to life, only to be pushed aside by the frantic boys who take Ed and rush him into the locker room, where Rolf checks his pulse and breathing. Then he measures the approximate center of Ed's chst with his hands and tongue, shouts something in his native language, and pounds his hand into Ed's chest in a manner similar to a karate chop, expelling the water from Ed's lungs and out his mouth like a fountain.

_"Anyone... chicken?... Need... chicken..."_ Ed says weakly.

"But Ed, remember what your mom said!" Double-D comes in with a worried tone.

"Man, FUCK Ed's mom!" Eddy shouts. _"It's her fault he fell apart like this."_

Double-D sighs: _"Listen, guys. We must adhere to Ed's mother's words, otherwise he'll never learn. I prepared a good alternative lunch for him to help get through this stressful period of rehabilitation. Please, just let me try at least."_

The lunch bell rings, and the boys head to the cafeteria with Kevin carrying Ed. Eddy tells Double-D _"You better have a damn good alternative."_

As they continue towards the cafeteria, two shadowy boys watch from behind a hallway corner...

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

Trivia: Ian is named after the show's digital effects designer, Ian Kirby. But as Nazz said, his surname is Valentine. Why Valentine, you ask? Well, let's just say it's a sign of things to come later on.


	14. You Are What You Ed pt 2

Here's part 2, ready for reviews. I squeezed in a lot, so it may be a bit on the long side.

And another OC from Epic Ed-venture returns, in a differnent incarnation...

* * *

Students enter the cafeteria to eat lunch. Today, the cafeteria is full of college medical students, wearing white uniforms. They are surveying the high school students' lunches under the supervision of their professors and Principal Antonucci.

One of the medical students resembles Nazz, but has brown hair with red twin-bangs and a ponytail. "Ok guys, remember! Don't go overboard on those calories!"

Nazz herself approaches Ian's table: "Easy girls, one at a time! One at a time!" Ian tells the amorous girls who are all over him while he eats! But when he sees Nazz... "Whoa!..."

"Hey, Ian! Let's eat together!" Nazz says as she approaches.

"Um, sure! But..." Ian, turned off by Nazz's fat, makes a lie and hides his tray: _"Uh, I gotta go get my lunch first. I'll be back!"_

Ian zips away, with his "harem" chasing after him with high-pitched screams! Jenna comes and tells Nazz "he ain't comin back."

Nazz sulks: _"It still isn't enough..."_ so she goes to the lunch line. Today's serving is porkchops, carrots and rice. After she eats her tray in one go...

_"...Nazzarine?..."_ the medical student resembling Nazz approaches her.

_"Erin, oh my God! What are you doing here?!"_ Nazz asks, suprised.

"Medical school nutritional survey." Erin answers. "Now I got a question for you. _You're gaining weight again, and you know that's bad for you. So why are you overeating after all the dieting lectures your mom and I gave you?"_

"I know, but.. well... you see..." Nazz tries reasoning with Erin. Meanwhile, the other boys get their food in the lunch line while Double-D presents his prepared lunch for Ed: "Here you go, Ed! A nice n juicy ham-&-cheese sandwich, a fresh apple, salad complete with dressing, a high-calorie granola bar, and 100 percent fruit punch!"

_"I... don't like granola..."_ Ed says, but Double-D tries encouraging him: "Ed, beggars can't be choosers, so you have to eat."

_"Ok..."_ Ed tries eating the apple, but he can barely bite through it so he (weakly) tosses it aside. He tries the salad, but he doesn't like it and spits it out.

"How about some ham?" Double-D gives the sandwich to Ed. He takes a bite, but then discards it: _"Ohhhhh... It's just not the same..."_

The boys come with their trays, and see Double-D feeding the fruit punch to Ed.

"Any luck, Dr.D?" Eddy asks.

Double-D nods: "As much as I'd hate to admit it, but no."

"Oh, Godammit!" Eddy points Ed's face towards his so they look eye-to-eye: _"Look, Skeletor! Unless you wanna rot away, you gotta eat somethin."_ Eddy gives Ed his porkchops: _"There's no chicken, but we got porkchops and that's the closest thing to chicken we got right now. So eat up! Guys, let's all give our porkchops. Ed needs em more than we do."_

_"Right."_ Kevin, Rolf, Jonny and Paul give their porkchops to Ed. But he doesn't eat, so Eddy force-feeds him, shoving porkchops into his mouth. But Ed doesn't chew and it slips out! Eddy gets impatient.

"Ed come on, chew!" Eddy tries again, but Ed still doesn't chew. "FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, CHEW!!" Eddy manipulates Ed's jaws to make him chew: _"See, meaty meaty porkchops! Ain't it good?!_ Now swallow!" Ed doesn't swallow. "Swallow, Ed!" Ed still doesn't, so Eddy uses a plunger to force it down Ed's gullet: "THERE! SWALLOW, DIGEST, AND TAKE A SHIT!!"

Ed chokes on the porkchops and SPEWS it out at Eddy and the boys, sending them flying and sticking them to a far wall, cracking it upon impact! Having been so weakened, Ed can barely stand now. Erin sees this while leading Nazz out of the caferia: _"Oh, dear lord... Is that you, Ed?"_

_"...E-E-Erin?..."_ Ed whimpers. Double-D, Eddy, Kevin, Rolf, Jonny and Paul shout "ERIN!!" as they have met her before.

_"My God..."_ Erin tends to Ed and calls for help: "SOMEBODY CALL AN AMBULANCE!!"

Principal Antonucci and Erin's peers gather around Ed. The Kankers and goths watch from their table in worry.

"Whoa..." Bill utters in shock, then May loses it: _"I GOTTA DO SOMETHING! BIG ED NEEDS ME!!"_

May leaps from her table and takes a few seconds to regurgitate (yes, REGURGITATE) a whole chicken! But while she was regurgitating, Erin and her fellow medical students have already taken Ed away from the cafeteria along with Nazz. May tries to follow, but Antonucci stops her.

"May, everything's gonna be ok! Edwin's gonna be nursed back to health!" he tells May but she tries forcing her way past him, screaming Ed's name as her sisters and Rachel jump in to help Antonucci restrain her. May continues struggling against them to the point where she finally goes into emotional breakdown, hysterically screaming and crying for Ed!!

* * *

Erin takes Ed and Nazz into the nurse's office, keeping Nazz at her side while seating Ed: "I'm calling the hospital for you now, Ed." she heads over to the phone on the other side of the office. Ed tries moistening his dry lips by licking them, which causes his also-dry tongue to disintegrate cartoon-style!

_"Belly... dying... So... hungry..."_ Ed weakly utters, but then he smells something... _"That's... that's the smell of..."_ Ed musters up enough energy to follow the smell, leading him out of the nurse's office and past a hallway corner towards 2 shadowy boys, the same ones from the end of the first part of this episode. We see their outlines more clearly this time: One is big and burly with stubby legs and only a small tuft of hair, while the other has a skinnier physique and has messy neck-length hair. The skinny one is holding the source of the smell, a jar of gravy!!

_"Gravy! Is that... gravy?!"_ Ed asks in exhaustion.

_"You betcha! Come n get it, Big Ed!"_ the skinny guy shakes the gravy in his hand to entice Ed, who snatches it and gulps it down!

_"Ahhhhh, YES!!!"_ Ed is instantly revitalized by the gravy! "Any more?"

"Todd, get the chicken out." the skinny guy instructs te burly guy.

"Where is it, big brother?" Todd asks.

"In yer pocket, ya dumb shit." the skinny guy (the older brother) reminds Todd.

"Oh ok, ehehehe!" Todd takes the chicken from his pocket as he and his brother emerge from the shadows to give the chicken to Ed. Both are pale-skinned. The older brother's messy hair is brown and he has a thin beard. He wears a white tanktop, ripped blue jeans, and white sneakers that look worn-out. Todd's tuft of hair is brown, and he has a tooth jutting from his lower jaw. He wears a beige vest, and the same jeans and sneakers as his brother. He offers the chicken, and Ed quickly devours it as if he hasn't eaten in days!

"Ya like that?" the older brother asks. "Good, _cuz we got plenty more where that came from!"_

"You got more?" Ed asks, drolling in hunger.

"That's right!" the older brother answers. _"But they ain't free like the treats we just gave ya. Let's say... ya do us a few favors, and we'll reward ya for each!"_

_"Yes, I'll do anything!"_ Ed complies.

* * *

The next day, Ed has fully recovered, and May is happy to see this. She hugs Ed: "EEEEEEEE, I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE OK!! I WAS SO WORRIED!!"

"GIRL GERMS!!" Ed runs screaming, running through walls and leaving Ed-shaped holes in his wake. Later in gym class, the boys, wearing their basketball jerseys, are suprised to see Ed back at full health!

"OK LET'S PLAY, GUYS!" Ed leaps up with renewed energy.

"Hold on, Ed." Double-D stops Ed for a moment: "Yes I'm happy for your recovery, but... where were you yesterday after school?"

"Oh, I was at-" Ed is interupted by the boys calling him out to play basketball with them, so Ed goes, telling Double-D "I'll tell you later."

Later, the boys get onto their bus to go home, but when it leaves...

"Hold on a sec, where's Ed?" Eddy asks.

"Armpit told me he had business with Ray Ray." Paul answers. "But the funny thing is, I just noticed Ray Ray's car right there in front of us." he points out Rachel driving in front of their bus, taking the Kankers home.

* * *

At Ed's house, his mom and Sarah check the time, 7:12 PM. They're concerned, and Mom worries: _"Edwin's always home by six. What if something happened? Stan, we need to do something."_

"Don't jump to conclusions, Angela." Ed's dad (Stan) tells his wife (Angela) while watching TV: "He's probably out havin chicken and gravy in some secret hiding spot, _which is pretty likely after what you did."_

Ed comes in: "Ok, I'm back!..." he tries making up an excuse: "Just, um... I was playing games with Eddy at his house and... we lost track of time! Ehehe!"

"See, there ya go, dear!" Stan tells Angela. "Now could you whip me up some buttered toast?"

* * *

The next day after school, Ed once again isn't on the bus ride home.

Lee works at a supermarket called "Dickie's," and her uniform consists of a blue shirt and a white apron imprinted with the market's logo. Her job is a cafe worker, which she wears a hairnet for. She sees that they're out of bread for sandwiches.

"Hold on guys, lemme get more bread." Lee tells her fellow employees, going into the storage room to get more bread. Upon entering the storage room, she sees a slightly bony figure making off with several bags of bread. She immediately charges: "HEY, STOP!!"

The bony guy runs out through the back door, tripping as he makes his escape. From his tripping, Lee sees that it's actually ED, and she gasps in utter shock!!

* * *

The next day in school, Ed is absent, again upsetting May. Lee tells Double-D in the hallway...

_"B-B-But Ed would... he'd NEVER do duch a thing."_ Double-D says in denial.

"I hate to break it to ya, but that's the truth." Lee replies sincerely. _"He's lucky us Kankers like him enough to not call the cops on him."_

Double-D tells Eddy in class: _"..... No, no no no. I know Lumpy would NEVER do somethin THAT stupid."_ Eddy says in disbelief. "Why the hell would he-"

"Shhh, nobody can know about this." Double-D covers Eddy's mouth. They continue their conversation on the bus:

"We gotta find Ed ASAP." Eddy whispers to Double-D.

"I just don't understand... unless..." Double-D whispers a theory: "Ed was always good at heart, _so there must be some kind of reason he did what he did."_

"So, any guesses?" Eddy asks. Then their bus suddenly weighs down...

"Ok, boys and babes. Make room for Nazzilla." Paul clears people aside for Nazz to squeeze into the bus. Now she's so fat that her clothes are stretched to near-ripping and her fat squishes everyone against the walls of the bus as she heads to her seat in the middle with Jenna, squishing her and forcing her head through a window.

"I hate when she doesn't listen to her family." Jenna remarks as the bus moves out, and with her head sticking out the window, she's rammed against numerous signs as the bus takes them home!

_"Ian keeps rejecting me. Why, am I not MEATY enough, hmm?!"_ Nazz shouts in frustration, rocking the bus with each word: _"WHY-WON'T-HE-AKNOWLEDGE-ME?!!"_

The bus snaps in half under Nazz's weight and caves-in through the street, holding up traffic and forcing everyone to walk home!

* * *

While walking home, Double-D and Eddy take a shortcut through the trailer park.

"Double-D, we wouldn't have to go through this damn trailer park if you never objected to using the van to go to school." Eddy scoffs.

"Oh don't complain, walking is good.' Double-D replies. "Besides, it means less exhaust fumes being pumped into our atmosphere."

Then they hear Ed nearby: _"Ok, can I have the gravy now?"_

Double-D and Eddy discover Ed hanging up clothes for the brothers, who smoke weed while relaxing on deckchairs near their trailer. Eddy identifies the brothers as: _"Chaz and Todd. I should've known it'd be those 2 assholes behind all this."_

Ed is turning bony again, but Chaz tells him "Just one more task, boy. _Go steal us some pasta from Dickie's."_

"I can't, I almost got busted last time." Ed reasons, but Chaz asks "Ya want chicken n gravy, don't cha?"

_"Don't listen to him, Ed."_ Eddy and Double-D arrive. Eddy reasons "These guys are just using you!"

"Big brother, what do we do?" Todd asks Chaz, who answers "Nothin. If Ed listens to em, he won't get what he wants!"

"Oh ok, ehehe!" Todd chuckles, and Ed sweats.

"Ed, please!" Double-D begs: _"Stop this, you're a good person! Think of the consequences! Think of how badly these 2 are changing you!"_

_"Ya need us, otherwise ya gonna starve!"_ Chaz tells Ed, who looks conflicted.

_"Ignore him, Ed. Come with us and let em do their shit themselves!"_ Eddy shouts, and Chaz gets tired of him and Double-D: "GET EM, TODD!"

"I'm on it, big brother!" Todd grabs Double-D, but Eddy uses his small size abd agility to hold his own until Todd grabs his and Chaz's trailer and slams it onto Eddy. This alerts May in her bedroom, and she watches the commotion outside...

"TODD, YA DUMB SHIT! YOU'LL WAKE UP PA LIKE THAT!" Chaz scolds Todd for using their trailer as a weapon. Todd apologizes as he takes Eddy.

"EDDY, DOUBLE-D!!" Ed tries to help, only to get grabbed by Chaz from behind: "Ok, listen up. _If ya stop workin for us, Todd will beat yer little friends til they nothin but pulp."_

Ed reverses the hold on Chaz! _"I'M DONE WITH YOU GUYS! I'D NEVER PICK MY FAVORITE FOOD OVER MY FRIENDS!!"_

But Ed's hold weakens, and Chaz merely replies _"What a shame... cuz without chicken, gravy n butter, yer NOTHIN!"_ he takes advantage of Ed's weakened state and beats him into the ground. May seethes with rage as Chaz beats Ed and Double-D & Eddy suffocate in Todd's arms. Todd laughs as Chaz presses Ed's head under his foot, mocking _"I AM ED, BIG AND RETARDED! I AM ED, THE FOOTBALL-PLAYIN ROCKSTAR AND SCIFI FREAK! I AM ED, WHO CAN'T LIIIIIIIIIVE WITHOUT-"_

_"ME!!!"_ May kung-fu KICKS Chaz in the jaw and sends him flying into Todd's stomach, releasing Double-D and Eddy while the brothers fly into their trailer, sending it somersaulting to the edge of the trailer park and flattening them under it!

* * *

Exotic jungle music plays as Ed, without his jacket and still reeling from his beating by Chaz, slowly regains focus and finds himself in a makeshift, candle-lit shrine made for him. He sees a shadowy, chicken-like figure rise up and dance around him, combining gymnastics with chicken movements that mesmerize Ed. He sits entranced as May (in her chicken outfit) dances circles around him, wraps her arms around his shoulders, and does a handspring over his shoulders towards the makeshift Ed replica, which is holding plates of buttered toast and a gravy jar in its hands. May brings them to Ed before regurgitating the chicken on a third plate, laying it in front of Ed to complete the meal. She kneels before him, and Ed sees that it's actually HER!!!

"I cleaned the dirt off your jacket; it's on the sofa downstairs." May informs. _"But eat this first! You need it!"_

_".........M-M-May?..."_ Ed chokes out. _"Is this... for..."_

May bobs her head and nudges the meal closer, gently urging him to _"Feast!"_

Ed is speechless as he looks into May's eyes. Then... _he gives a tiny hint of a smile_ before grubbing down the meal May prepared for him. Then he zips out of the closet, out of the Kankers' room, down the stairs, and grabs his jacket before zipping outside. Eddy and Double-D are gettng up and coughing up dust from the ground.

"Ack, Todd's armpits smell worse than Ed's." Eddy turns and sees Ed back at full health: _"Dude, YOU'RE OK AGAIN!! How'd ya-"_

"I... don't know how to explain." Ed answers. "But I'd rather not anyway. _Besides, I got unfinished business."_

Ed approaches the brothers as they squeeze themselves from under their flipped trailer. They look at him in terror, then WHAM!!!

* * *

The next morning, Angela, having decided to lift her suspension of Ed's favorite foods, gives him and Double-D buttered toast on the couch. As they eat, Ed tells something into Double-D's ear:

_"....... Aww, what a good Samaritan she is!"_ Double-D replies. _"And don't worry Ed, your secret's safe with me, because..."_

Double-D tells his crush on Marie into Ed's ear, and he replies _"Aww!"_

"GUYS, HURRY UP OR WE'LL MISS THE BUS!" Eddy calls from outside. They join him, but then they scream "WHOA" upon seing...

NAZZ!! Now's she's so fat that her arms and legs no longer reach the ground and her clothes no longer fit, but she's covered with a sheet as she's carried on a stretcher to be loaded into an ambulance. Nazz's mom and Erin watch as Nazz is carried to the ambulance. Nazz's mom also resembles her, but has dirty-blonde hair and creases under her eyes. She wears a purple blouse, khaki pants, and brown shoes.

_"MOM, ERIN, I'M SORRY!! I LEARNED MY LESSON!!"_ Nazz cries as she's squeezed into the ambulance.

"You can apologize afterwards, dear!" her mom replies.

"After what?" the Eds ask.

"She's undergoing liposuction." Erin answers. _"Now she knows better than to fatten herself up to impress boys. The lesson here is to not let others influence you in self-destructive ways, right Aunt Tabby?!"_

"Right!" Nazz's mom (Tabby) answers. Ed sighs, saying _"I learned that, too."_ referring to him stealing for the promise of chicken and gravy.

"Ok folks, there's this episode's moral." Eddy tells the audience. "Now let's get to the bus stop, boys."

The Eds run to their bus stop while Nazz is taken away for liposuction.

**The End!!!**

* * *

Trivia: Dickie's Supermarket is named after Joel Dickie, the show's storyboard director. Chaz and Todd are named after storyboard artists Chaz Battista and Todd Damone. Nazz's mom Tabby is named after Tabitha St. Germain, who voiced Nazz in season 1. And cousin Erin is named after Erin Fitzgerald, who voiced Nazz in seasons 2, 4 and onwards. She won't be a major character this time around, but she'll appear a few more times.

So how can May's shrine fit into her closet? Well, let's just say it's the same as her trailer being huge on the inside. Anyways, see ya and stay tuned for my Halloween special next week!!


	15. EEnE's Scary Squirmy Screamathon pt 1

Man, I love Halloween. Wild costume parties (I'm a punk-rocker this year), horror movie marathons, the art of egging... and Boo Haw Haw! Not to mention Saw VI is coming up! Anyway, here's my Halloween Special!

Readers beware, you're in for a scare...

* * *

It's Halloween morning, and Cherry River is decked out to scare! Houses and stores are decorated with spiderwebs, skeletons, ghosts, jack-o-lanterns, monsters, vampires, and crashing witches. Yards have been transformed into corpsy graveyards, and adults are stocking up on candy.

At the edge of town, an old house stands on a hilltop. Though long-abandoned, we hear giggling inside...

Ed and Eddy are setting up various spooky stuff inside the dusty house while Double-D watches: "May I ask why we're here again?"

"Don't cha remember, we're scarin the living CRAP outta everyone!" Eddy answers, taking a bear carpet from a first-floor room to the front hall. "No way we're lettin em get away with their sick excuse for a prank last year..."

"Oh, how shuddersome it was..." Ed remembers. _"I really thought they were massacred."_

"Ok Ed, you got the tomato soup?" Eddy asks Ed, who shows the soup and they climb up a ladder to the second floor, because the stairs were taken down some time ago. Double-D follows them up and into a room, where Eddy pours the tomato soup into a Kevin replica before he has Ed screw the head on.

"I will agree that the prank they pulled last year was indeed frightening and intolerable, _but getting even will only encourage them to exact vengeance upon YOU next Halloween."_ Double-D foresees.

"That won't be a problem, cuz they won't know what hit em!" Eddy says. "We're hidin up in the attic of this house, _the house of AL SHIVERSPINE!"_

"YEAH!..... Um, who's Al Shiverstein again?" Ed asks.

"First of all, it's ShiverSPINE!" Eddy corrects Ed before explaining Al: _"He's some ghost who, according to urban legend, guards a HUGE stash of candy and other goodies that magically pops up in the attic every Halloween. BUT... he has the power to make your worst fears come true, and in order to reach the candy, you gotta conquer said fears!"_

"Hehe, spooky!" Ed comments while Double-D rolls his eyes: "A phobia-themed ghost gaurding candy? How ludicrous."

"Yeah, niether us nor them believe in Al, or the candy stash for that matter. But here's how it'll go down!" Eddy explains. _"We'll all put some of our money into a bet to see who'll reach the attic first. They'll come along in here, thinkin they got nothin to worry about. But what they won't see comin is that WE set up their worst fears all over the house! We're gonna lock the doors and have em find the keys, that way they're sure to fall into our traps. WE'RE gonna scare em shitless just like Al Shiverspine would if he existed. And if any manage to reach the attic, Lumpula here will act as Shiverspine himself!"_ Eddy shows an Al Shiverspine mask for Ed. It looks similar to Kevin, but with deathly pale skin and messy black hair. Ed and Eddy laugh mischieviously.

"KEVIN, NAZZ, JONNY, ROLF, SARAH, JIMMY, ZOE, KYLE, JENNA AND PAUL WILL REGRET THE DAY THEY FOOLED US EDS! WAHAHAHAHAHAA!" Eddy laughs with Ed.

"Using their worst fears against them?' Double-D asks in disbelief. "That isn't pranking, that's just plain cruelty. Count me out."

Double-D leaves Ed and Eddy, but as he descends the ladder to the first floor, he hears a piano playing. He goes to the piano in an anteroom between the entrance hall and kitchen, and sees a shadowy figure playing it. The figure glances at him...

_... And splits apart into a swarm of bugs!_ Double-D freezes up while the bugs crawl away through cracks in the walls and floor. Double-D regains himself, wonders what happened, and runs out through the front door. The bugs reappear and form into the Halloween special's title:

* * *

**_Ed, Edd n Eddy's Scary Squirmy Scream-A-Thon!!!_**

* * *

Double-D paces around his room, thinking about what he saw at the house of Al Shiverspine:

"There's just no way, that couldn't have been... No, you're probably just seeing things, Eddward. There's absolutely no such thing as..." Double-D stops himself, remembering the shadowy figure dissolving into bugs. Then he remembers Eddy mentioning...

_"Al Shiverspine...."_

* * *

Halloween Night falls over Peach Creek. The local nightclub, Zeats-n-Falconer, is holding a "Halloween Bash" party for the teens. Halloween music plays as the teens dance and hang out in their Halloween costumes. First we see Jonny eating candy corn, wearing a Siamese twin costume with Plank as the other head. Jonny joins Paul, Nazz and Jenna in dancing to "Thriller" with many other teens. Paul is dressed as a zombified Michael Jackson (complete with a sequin glove and leggings), and even sings along to the song. Nazz wears a cat costume with a tail and whiskers painted on her face, while Jenna wears a luscious ladybug costume; both costumes reveal their cleavage. Then Ed, Eddy and Kevin step out of the bathroom. Ed wears an army costume, Eddy wears a Joker costume (wig included), and Kevin wears a Zoro costume.

"Heh! you're on, guys!" Kevin accepts the Eds' challege to go to Shiverspine's house, and tells Jonny, Nazz, Jenna and Paul.

"It's a test to prove how much guts you have!" Ed says. "And I, General Tonzor, have guts!"

"So, who's up for the bet?" Eddy asks. Paul puts his hand in: "I got balls of steel, man."

"Count me and Plank in!" Jonny puts his hand in, followed by a "Me, too!" from Nazz.

"This bitch ain't afraid of nothin!" Jenna puts her hand in.

"Excellent, now we just gotta wait for Rolf to finish his whole mushroom-pickin thing." Eddy says.

"AHOY, BOYS AND GIRLS! ROLF HAS ARRIVED, HOME DAWGS!" Rolf calls from outside on his tractor, dressed as a hip-hop star. The tractor is pulling a large cart behind it to carry the others. Ed, Eddy, Jenna, Kevin, Jonny and Nazz jump into the tractor cart. Rolf drives the tractor off: "To the house of Al Timberline, yes?"

"It's Shiverspine." Eddy corrects Rolf. Nazz asks "Hey, is Double-D comin?"

"Nah, Mr. Party-pooper said he had 'paranormal research' to do." Eddy answers.

"PIT STOP, ROLF!" Ed tells Rolf as they near a street corner where Sarah, Jimmy, Kyle and Zoe await with their collected candy from trick-or-treating. Sarah wears an angel costume. Jimmy is dressed as the puppet from the "Saw" movies, wearing a black wig and his face painted white with red spirals on his cheeks. Kyle wears a cowboy costume. Zoe wears a 2-piece jungle costume and has accessory leaves on her otherwise bare feet (like Toph from "Avatar"). Her hair is re-styled into a spiky bun on top with the rest of her hair loose.

"Hey, look! VAMPIRES!" Zoe waves to the goth boys across the street. "HI, VAMPIRES! LIKIN THE BLOOD TONIGHT?!"

"Oh my God..." Sean turns away as he, Bill and Dean are irritated by Zoe calling them "VAMPIRES!" Bill sarcastically comments _"Yes, and this is why we looovvve Halloween."_

Rolf stops for Sarah, Jimmy, Kyle and Zoe. They hop on, and Rolf continues driving towards Cherry River. As they go, Eddy, Kevin and Paul egg houses and cars. Eddy even dumps a bucket of yolk onto a pimped-out car, its owner screaming "MOTHERFUCKER!!!" Zoe, meanwhile, is already eating her candy.

"Zoe, please go easy on that candy." Jimmy tells Zoe.

"Nonsense, candy makes me feel alive!" Zoe replies, her candy giving her a sugar rush that makes her jitter around the cart like a jackhammer! "WHOO!" then she offers Jimmy some Jawbreaker Minis from her bag: "I'll trade ya for Fireballs!"

"So about Al Shiverspine, dudes. How do ya think he came to be?" Kyle asks.

"Maybe he was just some sick jerk who liked scaring people." Sarah voices her opinion.

"It's kinda wierd how he just scares people away to guard candy." Nazz says. _"Don't you think there's a reason for that?"_

"Don't really know, because I heard he died a while back." Kevin said.

"And yet, he stills haunts that house!" Eddy says, which unnerves Jimmy: "How is he still... scaring everyone?"

"Rolf heard that the ghoul's residence was built on a cursed Native American ground." Rolf says.

"I think... y'know what, I got nothin." Paul can't think of any theories.

"I got a question: how does he know everyone's fears?" Jonny asks.

"No the question is, why are we talkin about this?" Jenna asks. "Ghosts don't exist. Ol' Mr. Shiverspine could know all our fears, but he's a ghost and thus ain't real. We ain't gonna get scared or nothin, so gettin to the top and winnin the bet is gonna be a cinch!"

Eddy smirks and mentally says _"So you think, Jenn! But WE know!..."_

**Flashback: About three months after BPS**

**The Eds are chatting in the lane with Sarah, Jimmy, Nazz, Kevin, Rolf, Jenna, and Kyle. Back then, Jenna's hair looked the same but was shoulder-length, and she wore the same clothes as Nazz except she had long skin-tight sleeves and a skirt instead of pants. Kyle had a small downward-pointing ponytail, and he wore a sleeveless orange shirt, the same pants and sneakers, and a green palm-tree necklace. They hear Jonny...**

**"Paul, come on. What happened?" Jonny asks as he helps Paul towards the others. Paul had an afro, and wore the same clothes except he had full-length jeans. He's tries catching his breath as he explains:**

**"So... so I was just chillin down the street and... and..."**

**"Spit it out, man." Eddy tells Paul.**

**_"... Let's just say Ray Ray's a real scary girl."_ Paul shudders. _"She almost took away my manhood."_**

**"Well, we all know Rachel isn't the kind of person to do something so harsh without good reason." Double-D says. "So you must've done something to provoke her."**

**"Were you... _lookin at her?"_ Nazz asks.**

**"WHAT?!.... Uhh, of course not!" Paul lies, but Nazz and Jenna see through this. Jenna tells Paul "I'm sure whatever that goth girl did to ya was to put your creepy butt in place."**

**"Whatever, I ain't goin near Ray Ray again." Paul says, shaking in fear. _"She the scariest thing in existence."_**

**"Nah dude, that title goes to hail." Kyle says. _"It's small, but it's downright deadly."_**

**_"There's nothing scarier than killing animals and mounting them on a wall."_ Jonny quivers.**

**_"How about being stuck in an elevator for 24 hours."_ Nazz says. _"Seriously, I thought it was gonna fall at any moment."  
_**

**"My gosh, there's so many scary things." Jimmy cowers. Thinking about this, Sarah takes a step back from Ed, which Eddy notices.**

**"Soap and cleanliness, BAD for Ed." Ed shrieks, then Double-D says "The opposite applies to me, as you all know."**

**_"Oh, Rolf remembers this ursine ogre from back in the old country."_ Rolf remembers: _"7 goats tall and always watching Rolf, looking for oppurtunities to LAY HIS FINGERS OF UNPLEASANT DESIRE ON THE SON OF A SHEPARD!"_**

**Rolf is comforted by the others. "We feel your pain, Rolf." Kyle says.  
**

**"Looks like everyone's spoutin out their worst fears." Eddy says, asking Kevin "What's yours?"  
**

**"I conquered my fear, remember?" Kevin reminds Eddy.**

**"I know you're afraid of other things, Kevo!" Eddy says. "So, do you fear..." Eddy pulls out a fake ax: "DEATH?!"**

**"NO!!" Jenna screams, immediately stomping Eddy into the ground. "...Oh... I'm so sorry, Eddy. It's just that... _I thought that axe was real and... uh..."_**

**Kevin grins widely, saying "Well, now we know what Jenn's worst fear is!"**

**"Hey shut up." Jenna yells at Kevin: "I would've done the same if any of the others were in danger. So don't think I like you, Kevin."**

**"Oh, I don't." Kevin says, still grinning. _"I know you hate me as much as Eddy hates-"_**

The flashback is suddenly ripped in half by Eddy in the present time. He apologizes to the audience: "Sorry viewers, but I can't afford to have my fear revealed. And no, it ain't birds."

"You can hide it from the audience, but we all know each others fears!" Kevin says. "... All except..."

"... Zoe's!" Ed realizes. _"She didn't move in yet back then, so we still don't know her fear!"_

Everyone gathers around Zoe, who simply nods while eating her candy: _"Nope, I'm not tellin!"_

Rolf reaches their destination in a forested part of Cherry River, and stops the tractor. They get off, and Eddy & Ed lead the rest along a forest path going uphill. As they go up, Zoe giggles and jitters from all the sugar she consumed, while Paul sings lyrics from "Thriller." The path leads up to the house of Al Shiverspine.

* * *

Meanwhile, Double-D is looking up Al Shiverspine articles on his laptop. He reads through numerous articles such as "12-YEAR-OLD TRAUMATIZED INSIDE AL SHIVERSPINE HOUSE ON HALLOWEEN," "TEENS' INTERVIEW ON AL SHIVERSPINE ENCOUNTER," and "ALLAN POE SHIVERS, aka AL SHIVERSPINE." He pays particular attention to the latter article:

_"Allan Poe Shivers, aka Al Shiverspine. Born January 19, 1946. Died September 8, 1979 from mosquito-borne encephalitis."_ Double-D continues reading: _"Among his few known traits was that he was once entomophobic."_ Double-D finds few relevant details after this, until the end: _"Even after his death, reports of his phobia-exploiting acts continued inside his home every Halloween."_

Double-D reads another article, in which Shiverspine is described as _"frequently manifesting as a zombie-like figure composed of a mass of swarming bugs."_

Double-D sums up: "The bugs are a constant element here, and if Al was a former entomophobe..." Double-D thinks long and hard... _"This calls for direct investigation."_

Double-D gathers some old ghost-hunting equipment from his basement, and starts the retro van.

* * *

Meanwhile, Ed, Eddy and the others pass through the front gate of Al Shiverspine's weed-covered lawn. Ravens caw overhead, and Jenna flips them off in dislike. As they walk towards the front door, the eerie atmosphere frightens Jimmy:

"Be brave, Jimmy. Be brave!" Jimmy tells himself, but he starts panicking.

"Jimmy, take a deep breath, and breathe out slowly." Kyle helps Jimmy relieve his stress. Then Paul notices Eddy and Ed staying behind.

"Yo McMoney, Armpit. You comin?" Paul asks.

_"Uh, me and Eddy are havin second thoughts about this, guys."_ Ed answers, he and Eddy pretending to shake in fear.

"You're kidding, right?" Sarah asks. "YOU'RE THE ONES WHO FREAKIN MADE THE BET AND LED US HERE!"

"Plank thinks you're chicken-balled pussies!" Jonny tells Ed and Eddy. Kevin, Rolf, Paul, Jenna, Sarah and Zoe chuckle!

"Err..." Eddy is irritated by Plank but quickly gets over it, saying "Yeah well, Tonzor here just got cold feet from readin too many comics. So I'm takin him back to the tractor, and I'll keep him company til the rest of you return. Right, Ed?"

Ed bobs his head, then he and Eddy leave.

"So that just leaves 10 of us. _But I'll be the one winnin the cash when I reach the top first!"_ Kevin claims.

"Dream on, Jocky!" Sarah throws Kevin aside and wrestles through the others to open the front door. She turns the knob, but it won't open: "Err..."

"Allow Rolf, please." Rolf tries forcing the door open, but it still won't open. Even with Kevin's and Paul's help, it doesn't budge.

"Must be blocked from the other side." Nazz says.

"GUYS, PLANK FOUND A WAY IN!" Jonny calls out. "THE BACK DOOR IS BOARDED UP, BUT THE BASEMENT'S OPEN!"

"... I guess that'll do." Jenna says. They follow Jonny to the backyard to enter through the basement door.

* * *

Sarah, Jimmy, Kyle, Zoe, Nazz, Jenna, Kevin, Rolf, Jonny and Paul descend into the wet, pitch-black basement corridor. Kevin and Kyle use pumpkin-headed flashlights to illuminate the corridor, while Rolf uses an old-fashioned lantern from his pocket.

"Hey Jenn, feel free to hold my hand if ya get scared!" Kevin jokes, Jenna promptly elbowing him.

"Somebody hold me." Jimmy starts panicking.

"Remember dude, breathe in, then out." Kyle instructs Jimmy, who gets a comforting hug from Zoe: "Don't worry, Jimsaw! You're with us, so just stay in the middle and you'll be fine! Besides, didn't you say you wanna be braver?"

"I know, but-" a football-sized spider lowers itself form the cieling, spooking Jimmy; "AAAAH!!"

Rolf grabs the huge spider and crushes it inside his fist! Paul comments "Hardcore, Country Boy!"

As they proceed on, more bugs start appearing on the walls. The girls (except Zoe) and Jimmy are mildly spooked, and Jimmy stays in the middle of the group. Then they reach an elevator at a turn, uncomforting Nazz.

_"Don't tell me we're goin up in that thing."_ Nazz shakes, but then they see that the elevator has no battery.

"We're gonna have to continue this way." Kevin and the others continue past the elevator, past the rusted-shut braker room door, then they reach a staircase leading up to the first floor.

While they go up the stairs, a camera watches them. It's revealed that Eddy and Ed are in a small side-room next to the attic (which they reached via a ladder through a small window), Eddy watching through a network of cameras placed throughout the house.

"They're goin up, Ed!" Eddy informs Ed, who's trying in vain to open the attic's seemingly stuck door: "Errr, come on! Open, Sesame!"

"Just leave that door and come here." Eddy tells Ed. _"The others just reached the first floor,_ _and little do they know what's in store for em! WAHAHAHAHAHA!!"_

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

Trivia: The Zeats-n-Falconer Nightclub is named after the show's storyboard directors, Billy Zeats and J Falconer. Al Shiverspine is (as you may have noticed) named after Edgar Allan Poe, a famous author/poet and one of my favorites. They even share birthdays, and the moniker "Shiverspine" derives from the shivering chill that runs down your spine when you're scared.

So who will win the bet? Who will wet their pants? What are Eddy's and Zoe's worst fears? And how did Al Shiverspine come to be? Find out all the answers next chapter!!


	16. EEnE's Scary Squirmy Screamathon pt 2

Just watched Paranormal Activity, and boy did it blow away Saw VI in the box-office!!

So here's the second half of my Halloween Special! Enjoy and review! Oh, and I added a little reference from Paranormal Activity. See if you can find it.

* * *

Double-D arrives at Shiverspine's address, and walks along the forest path towards the house with his ghost-hunting equipment. Meanwhile, Eddy watches through the cameras as Sarah, Jimmy, Kyle, Zoe, Kevin, Nazz, Jenna, Jonny, Rolf and Paul walk down the dark first-floor hallway from the basement. They reach the piano area, where Jimmy steps onto a loose floorboard, causing it to spring up and whack him in the face. Dazed, he stumbles into the kitchen and bumps into a skeleton sitting on one of the chairs.

"GAH!" Jimmy recoils, causing the skeleton to fall forwards and entangle Jimmy's foot. "GET IT OFF!" Jimmy frantically flails his tangled foot, accidentally kicking Sarah into the entrance hall before he finally shakes it off. The others walk in as Sarah recovers:

"WATCH WHERE YA SWING YOUR FOOT, JIMSAW!" Sarah yells, Kyle holding her back: "Sarah, calm down and count to ten!"

"Looks like this the entrance." Kevin observes the entrance hall, while Rolf notices they're standing on the bear-pelt rug (the one Eddy put at the beginning of the episode).

"THE CREEPY URSINE OGRE HAS TRACKED DOWN ROLF!!" Rolf tries running out through the front door, but instead crashes into a pile of old furniture blocking the door, which is the reason it didn't open from outside.

"Chill Rolf, it's just a rug." Jenna reveals to Rolf. Looking at the rug, Jonny asks _"Who could've done this to such a wonderful creature?"_

Nazz sees the elevator again, sweats, and looks around for stairs to go up. But she notices that the stairs were taken down:

"The stairs are gone... _which means..."_

"We gotta take the elevator, but that got no power." Paul sees a note taped to the elevator door. He takes it and reads "Battery in the shed."

"... What shed?" Sarah asks. Jonny remembers: "Oh, Plank and I saw a shed in the backyard."

"Outta my way!" Kevin knocks the others aside to get to the backyard shed, only to get thrown himself. Everyone except Jimmy, Nazz and Kyle squabbles against each other to reach the shed first. Zoe jumps out of the skirmish and reaches the shed, only to find it locked by numerous chains secured with a padlock labeled as "100 PERCENT CARTOON METHOD-PROOF." Jenna gets mad:

"God, can anything be simple?" she complains. "Now we gotta go back inside and find the damn key."

"I like it!" Zoe exclaims. "It's so challenging!"

"I... I can't do this anymore." Nazz starts walking away: "It isn't the key. _It's just that I can't bring myself to go into that elevator once it starts up._ So yeah, I'm eliminating myself. See ya guys back at the tractor."

* * *

Through the backyard camera, Eddy sees Nazz leaving: "One down, nine to go!"

Eddy goes up to a chart with all ten "targets" drawn on it, crossing out Nazz. Then he tells Ed "Ok General, get down there and use that bear rug to scare Rolfster outta here!"

"With pleasure!" Ed chuckles mischieviously.

* * *

The remaining nine start searching the house's first floor for the shed's key. Sarah and Kyle search the laundry room near the back door. Kevin and Jenna search the entrance hall. Rolf and Jimmy search the living room. Paul and Zoe search the kitchen. Jonny goes into a room near the piano, but it's completely dark because its window is boarded-up with only a small hole allowing the moonlight to shine onto a small table, which has an unlit candle. But there's no match to light it with, so Jonny goes into the kitchen to find some.

"Damn, how long has it been since somebody lived here?" Paul asks while searching through the kitchen's filthy cabinets. Zoe opens the refrigerator and finds rotten meat and a rubber arm inside: "Cool, someone would totally get scared by this!"

In the living room... "OH, GOD!" Jimmy jumps away from a creepy cuckoo clock. Zoe comes and Jimmy tells her "I DON'T WANNA BE HERE ANYMORE!!"

"You can't, _you said you wanna be brave!"_ Zoe reminds Jimmy. "SNAP OUT OF IT!" she repeats while slapping sense into Jimmy.

Kevin searches through the pile blocking the front door, and Jenna sneakily takes his flashlight from his pocket to peer into wallholes. Meanwhile, Jonny finally found a matchpack inside a kitchen drawer.

"Here we go, Plank!" Jonny uses a match to light the candle in the dark room, revealing that it's an animal trophy room!

_"No... No no NO NO NOOO!!"_ Jonny tries running out, but Ed (en route to scaring Rolf) closes the door and jams it with his costume's beret, trapping Jonny inside. Jonny can't open the jammed door, and starts breaking down at the sight of all the animal heads and bodies mounted on the walls: _"... WHY?! WHYYY?!! WHHHYYYYY?!!!"_

Then Jonny sees chopped-up boards resembling Plank mounted on the ceiling, crudely drawn with screaming pain-filled faces (guess who made them)! Jonny completely loses it and runs out through a wall, SCREAMING!! Watching through a camera, Eddy collapses in laughter! Double-D arrives at the front gate when Jonny knocks him out of his way to run downhill, SCREAMING all the way!!

"JONNY, WHAT HAPPENED?!" Double-D calls to Jonny, but he's already gone. Double-D gets up, wipes the dust off his ghost equipment, and knocks on the front door. Kevin and Jenna are fighting over Kevin's flashlight, allowing Ed to sneak past them and slip into the bear rug, and he slowly crawls towards Rolf in the living room. Jenna hears Double-D knocking on the door...

"I'll get it." Jenna lets go of Kevin's flashlight, causing Kevin to be flung into a wall. Jenna throws aside the pile blocking the front door, all of it landing on Kevin. She opens the door.

"Thank you, Jenna!" Double-D comes in. Seeing his equipment, Jenna asks "What's all that for?"

"I'm looking for a ghost." Double-D answers as he starts using his EMF meter and infrared camera. Jenna rolls her eyes at this, and resumes her search for the shed key.

Double-D gets cold and his EMF meter fluctuates up and down as he goes through the piano room, but it returns to normal when he enters the kitchen. Paul is reaching into the sink's drain to find the key, and neither he nor Double-D notice each other. Double-D then checks the back corridor, there he gets no EMF signals or images on his camera. Meanwhile, Paul's hand gets stuck in the drain.

"Shit." Paul tries pulling his hand out, but to no avail. Then a purple-nailed hand pulls Paul's hand out with ease, but it keeps a tight grip on his wrist...

_"... Oh God!!"_ Paul quickly breaks down in Rachel's clutches.

_"Hello, Wacko Jacko."_ Rachel greets darkly, pinning down Paul, dropping his pants, and taking a potato peeler from her pocket.

_"Please stop!! I'm sorry, Ray Ray!! PLEASE!!"_ Paul begs in terror, Jimmy and Zoe hearing and watching him.

_"Oooo, ya gonna have your way with him?!"_ Zoe asks Rachel.

_"No, but he'll never have HIS way ever again."_ Rachel holds Paul upside-down and moves her potato peeler closer and closer towards Paul's censored privates...

"I can't watch..." Jimmy looks away, then Paul slips out of his pants to escape Rachel's grasp. He jumps out through the kitchen window, SCREAMING downhill in his polka-dot boxers!!

"What is that cry of despair Rolf heard?" Rolf comes into the kitchen, seeing Rachel.

"Just business, Rolf. Now I'm outta here." Rachel goes out the front door while Jimmy and Zoe search the piano room.

_"Hmm, what kind of business would gloom-&-doom Rachel girl have in such an old household as this?"_ Rolf wonders until he gets poked on the shoulder. He turns around and sees Ed rise up in the bear rug, wearing it like a cloak. This sight triggers Rolf's memories of the creepy bear-man from his childhood in the old country. Ed ROARS like a bear, and Rolf SCREAMS!!! Everyone hears Rolf's scream and race into the kitchen, only to find a Rolf-shaped hole in the wall and Ed gone.

"Looks like Rolf's out." Kevin says, Sarah merely replying "Oh well, back to searchin."

They split up again, and just as Double-D starts getting signals again, Ed grabs him from behind.

* * *

Double-D then finds himself in the attic's anteroom with Eddy, Ed and Rachel. Jonny, Paul and Rolf have been crossed off the scare-chart. Rachel asks Eddy "The fifty, please."

"Thanks for your help, emo- I mean, vampire- GAH, I mean Rachel!" Eddy gives Rachel a fifty-dollar bill, then she climbs out the window and down the ladder to leave.

"Guys, are you seriously planning on going through with all this?" Double-D asks. _"Because I've conducted first-hand research, and I've picked up signals possibly indicating para-"_

"Will ya cut the whole ghost crap? They don't exist." Eddy says. "Now come here and watch the scream show!"

Eddy and Ed take Double-D to watch the remaining six through the cameras. Jenna finds the shed's key inside a deer head in the animal room. She quickly runs towards the shed, only to be tripped by Sarah. They fight over the key, and Kyle takes it to unlock the shed while they fight. This cues Eddy to grab several buckets filled with ice cubes, and Ed grabs two pots. While they go downstairs, Double-D discovers a trapdoor near the cameras and goes through it, leading to a dilapidated bedroom with a boarded-up door.

Eddy and Ed laugh as they descend halfway down the attic stairs and through a window, walking along a rope crossing over the backyard to connect to a tree. Kyle emerges from the shed with the elevator battery, and he starts back towards the house. At this time, Ed bangs the pots together to emulate thunder. Kyle tries calming himself, but Eddy starts pouring down the icecubes to emulate hail, Kyle's fear!

_"WAAAAAAAAAH!!!"_ Kyle runs around screaming as he's pelted with "hail." Eddy continues pelting Kyle who, in blind panic, throws the battery through the back door before succumbing to the "hail" and curling into fetal position. Eddy and Ed then retreat back to the attic to laugh and cross off Kyle. Then they notice Double-D is gone.

"Double-D?... Yo Ghostbuster, where are ya?... Eh, he musta left..." Eddy and Ed return to the cameras. Kevin takes the battery, restores the elevator's power, and rides up to the first floor where Sarah, Jenna, Jimmy and Zoe squeeze in.

* * *

May, wearing vampire fangs on her buckteeth, is bringing firewood to her and her sisters' campfire near the forest path to Shiverspine's house. But Lee and Marie are absent: "... Lee?... Marie?..."

May sees a shadowy hooded figure carving "AKA" into a nearby tree with a knife. She approaches the figure, then it turns and grabs her shoulder: "AAAAHH!!" May drops the firewood and falls over in terror, then she hears laughter. Lee, wearing a devil costume under her coat, emerges from behind their tent, having recorded May's fright on her webcam! The hooded figure is actually Marie, wearing her red hoodie and a Shiverspine mask, which she removes to reveal herself!

"We got her good, eh Lee?!" Marie laughs, and Lee laughs "You're too easy, May!"

"NOT FUNNY!" May yells, then they hear rustling. Lee points her flashlight towards the source. It's Rachel, walking down the forest path. The Kankers approach her.

"Yo Rachel, what are you doin out here?" Lee asks.

_"The Eds paid me to scare off Paul at Al Shiverspine's house."_ Rachel answers. May mis-pronounces "Abe Shovelsplat?"

"Al Shiverspine, stupid." Lee corrects May. "Y'know,_ that ghost who supposedly brings peoples' worst fears to life."_

"Heh, ghosts ain't real." Marie believes.

_"I wouldn't count on that."_ Rachel warns. "But whatever. See you tomorrow, girls!" she leaves.

* * *

The remaining five step out of the elevator and onto the second-floor, which U-turns into a long corridor with a balcony overlooking the entrance hall, revealed to have a chandelier eerily swaying above it. There's five doors, one of which is boarded-up (this is the bedroom Double-D is currently in). The door immediately next to the boarded-up one reads "ATTIC," but it's locked. Kevin, Jenna and Sarah go "Uuugh!"

_"Great, another key hunt!"_ Jenna sarcastically cheers. She and Sarah begin searching behind the corridor's pictures and inside its cracks and holes, while Kevin and Jimmy go through the bathroom's doorway. The bathroom mirror is smashed-in and the shower curtain is tattered. After failing to find anything, they look at the bathtub, full of dirty water...

_"I ain't puttin my hand in there..."_ Kevin says.

* * *

Meanwhile, Zoe has stayed behind to look at a black-&-white family picture in the middle of the corridor's U-turn. It has a mother, a father with a hunting rifle, and two children: an older son who resembles Kevin, and a younger daughter with a little leg that confines her to a wheelchair (which explains the elevator). _The boy winks!_

_"Whoa!"_ Zoe is bewildered. Then the picture falls off, revealing torn wallpaper with a hidden door behind it. Uttering _"Most wicked,"_ she rips away the wallpaper.

* * *

In the attic anteroom, Ed asks "Eddy, you think anything here will scare Zoe?"

"Since we don't know her fear, I can only hope one of our general traps gives her the chills. Otherwise, she or Kev could win this, and that's only if they conquer fear himself!" Eddy says, holding up the Shiverspine mask for Ed.

* * *

In the bedroom, Double-D is checking for signs of paranormal activity when he sees a book on a desk. It's a diary entitled "Allan," and Double-D starts reading it:

_October 31, 1959_

_They have been going too far for too long now. It happened every Halloween since that horrible day four years ago, when I ran down the street towards my sister's cries for help. Why couldn't they just leave Janyse alone? She did no wrong, yet she was harassed merely for having a deformed leg. In their eyes, she was "different" and thus didn't belong. I tried saving her as those heartless bastards dumped her head-first into that huge dumpster crawling with wretched bugs. I tried pulling her out, only to have the little monsters crawl all over me and I started screaming. It was terrifying, and Janyse's tormentors laughed at the sight of me and her drowning in the bugs' sheer numbers! Mom eventually found and saved us, but it was already too late. They who tortured Janyse learned of my entomophobia and they, along with their friends, would go on to target me every Halloween. Tonight was no different, ending with those assholes using my fear against me to take my candy. I'm tired of it. I'm so sick and tired of it._

* * *

Zoe opens the secret door, entering a dark room with lots of scuttling, buzzing and screeching sounds. Zoe stops in the middle of the room: "What is that?" she asks, not knowing where the sounds are coming from. Then a light flickers into view as bugs crawl off of it. Then the whole room lights up as the swarming bugs leave through a crack in the wall, revealing that the room is completely empty! Zoe gasps and her eyes bug out enormously at the room's sheer emptiness!!

_"Wh-Wha-What's going on? I-It's empty, totally EMPTY!!"_ she shrieks, then the door slams shut behind her! She tries opening it, but it won't open! Losing her cool, she starts banging on the door; _"NOOOO!! HELP, HELP!!!"_

* * *

_November 6, 1959_

_I couldn't get it out of my head. I couldn't figure how I would get ahead in life with all the pain those monsters caused me. All the pain those bugs have caused me. Not knowing how to deal with this, I aksed Dad for advice. He told me that he once feared the animals of the wild and that they caused him great pain. He explained that he had to grow up by conquering his fear, which ultimately became his trophy-hunting passion. That's when it hit me. When you feel fear, only by rising above it can you truly grow up. I know EXACTLY what I must do now, and I'll start by conquering my fear._

* * *

Sarah and Jenna hear Zoe's cries for help. They run over to the room Zoe is trapped in, but they cant open it. _"GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!"_ Zoe screams.

_"Shit, it won't open!"_ Jenna says. _"Sarah, go find somethin to open this door. GO!"_

Sarah goes into a nearby bedroom that has an old wheelchair, indicating that it was Janyse's bedroom. Ed and Eddy hear Zoe's screams.

_"Sounds like somethin got Zoe, but where is she?"_ Eddy looks through the cameras, but there's no camera in the second-floor corridor's U-turn. Hence he can't see Zoe or Jenna, who's trying to open the door Zoe's trapped behind. But Ed sees Sarah in Janyse's room.

"Sarah's in position, Eddy!" Ed puts on a white cloak and powders himself to give himself the appearance of a ghost. He goes to a hole in the anteroom's corner, just above Janyse's room! Ed SCREAMS!

_"...... Ed?..."_ Sarah looks around, then hears Ed's "HELP ME!!" Meanwhile, Eddy utters _"Now for Jenn!"_ and presses a button. Jenna hears Kevin's screams from the door at the far end of the corridor.

_"Kevin?... KEVIN!!"_ Jenna runs to the far door, where she hears Kevin's screams inside: "HELP!! OH SHIT, PLEASE!! SOMEBODY!!"

In the bathroom, Kevin hears his own screams. Zoe is still trapped, frantically looking for another way out. The room's emptiness gives the illusion of the walls and ceiling closing in on Zoe, _and a few bugs on the ceiling form into Shiverspine's eyes to watch her!!_ In Janyse's room, Ed drops in as a "ghost," and Sarah falls for it!

_"Sarah, Al Shiverspine got me! He took me! Why didn't you do anything? YOU COULD'VE SAVED ME, BUT YOU DIDN'T!"_

_"NO, YOU CAN'T BE!! YOU CAN'T BE DEAD!!!"_ Sarah screams, backing away and she falls. _"OH MY GOD!!!"_

_"ALL YOU EVER DID WAS YELL AT ME AND BOSS ME AROUND!! YOU NEVER CARED!!"_ Ed reaches for Sarah... _"AND NOW YOU'RE GONNA PAY!!"_

* * *

_October 31, 1960_

_Halloween has come, and I have turned the tables. All my research of their fears has paid off. Those very same boys and girls who had me before their mercy last year were now before mine as I subjected them to THEIR phobias. I took their candy, which I would give back only if they conquered their fears. Sure there was personal revenge in this case, but I was also helping them better themselves. Because when people feel fear, they feel pain. And it is only by besting that pain can they blossom into their full potential. This is how I will guide people to maturity. This is my ultimate ideal, and I will carry it out to the day I die..._

_... And from beyond the grave._

At this moment, numerous things happen simultaneously. Kevin goes to check where his screaming is coming from while Jimmy reaches into the tub to pull the plug. Jenna bursts through the far door, where she finds the Kevin replica Ed and Eddy assembled at the beginning of the episode, suspended above a bed (the parents' bed) by a contraption with hooks embedded in its chest. Jenna's entrance triggers wires on the door to pull and yank the contraption's parts in opposite directions, causing the hooks to tear open the Kevin replica's ribcage, spilling out what appear to be organs and blood (which is actually the tomato juice) onto the bed!!! Thinking Kevin was killed, Jenna SCREAMS!!! Sarah SCREAMS and runs away from Ed, and Zoe SCREAMS and jumps through the crack in the empty room's wall. She falls down into the entrance hall while Sarah jumps its balcony, and they both run out of the house SCREAMING!!!

* * *

Then Double-D feels Shiverspine's room getting cold, his EMF meter starts fluctuating like crazy, and he sees a vortex appear on his camera. Thousands of orange specks start flowing out of the vortex, revealed to be bugs swarming all around Double-D.

_"W-What's going on?!!" Double-D watches in horror as the bugs rise up and form into a human figure with deathly pale skin, long messy black hair, and dead eyes that lock with Double-D's. It's Al Shiverspine, and he utters _(his voice resembles Eddy's brother's, but slightly deeper)...

_"...... Boo!"_ Shiverspine rears back to BLAST tons of vomit onto the room's floor, and it quickly rises to Double-D's ankles! Then his knees!! Then his waist!!! Within seconds, the rising vomit submerges the SCREAMING Double-D!!!

* * *

But Double-D's screams go unheard as Eddy and Ed LAUGH in the attic anteroom. Sarah and Zoe were crossed off.

"You should be an actor, Ed! That was GREAT!" Eddy praises Ed's scaring of Sarah while still laughing.

_"It actually felt kinda good!"_ Ed says. "So who's left?"

* * *

In the parents' room, Jenna grieves hysterically as she holds "Kevin's" organs in her arms like plush toys! She looks up at the replica's lifeless face, dripping "blood" onto her face. She pulls it down and kisses it, crying in Spanish:

_"[Kevin... Kevin... No.... NOOO!!! THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN!!! NO NO NO!!! OH MY GOD, KEVIN!!! IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, PLEASE, I LOVE YOU!!! I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU, WAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! I WANTED TO MARRY YOU!!! TO LIVE WITH YOU!!! I WANTED TO YOU TO FUCK ME SO WE CAN HAVE KIDS AND START A FAMILY-YY-YYY!!!!! WAAAHAHAHAAAAAHHH!!! I'M SO SORRY I COULDN'T TELL YOU THAT!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!]"_

_"I don't know what you said, but it sounded pretty intimate!"_ Kevin calls to Jenna from the doorway, greatly shocking Jenna!!! She realizes that the dead Kevin is fake and sees the grin on the real Kevin's face!

_"Ohhh, I'm so embarrassed..."_ Jenna covers her face. Kevin comes to comfort her with a hug, but she yells "DON'T TOUCH ME!" and pushes him away.

"Damn bitch, chill!" Kevin tells Jenna, who retaliates "Don't you EVER call me a bitch!"

"Whatever, I know you love me!" Kevin finishes before looking at the fake Kevin. He checks the "blood" by tasting it...

_"Tomato soup..."_ Kevin identifies. He checks the organs, which are also fake. Then he finds a tape recorder behind the replica's neck. _"We've been had!"_

_"AAAAAHHH!!!"_ Jimmy's scream is heard and Kevin & Jenna race to the bathroom, where Jimmy drained the tub. A body with messy black hair is inside. Jimmy explains _"I-I-I think the key's in his mouth..."_

Kevin takes the attic's key from the corpse's mouth, but closer inspection reveals a "Made in Taiwan" label and that his hair is a wig. The wig's inside is labeled _"Eddy McGee!"_

_"Those sick..."_ Jenna realizes with Kevin and Jimmy, and they hear Eddy and Ed still laughing their heads off upstairs.

_"Oh guys, I have an idea!"_ Jimmy exclaims, taking powder and deodorant from his pockets...

* * *

Ed and Eddy hear Kevin's, Jenna's and Jimmy's screams downstairs.

"AHAHAHA, WE GOT EM EDDY!" Ed shouts victoriously: _"WE GOT OUR REVENGE!"_

_"YES!! HAPPY FUCKIN HALLOWEEN , SCAREDY CATS!!"_ Ed and Eddy do victory dances, letting their guard down as someone approaches behind them. Kevin, powdered white and wearing Eddy's black wig and the shower curtain as a cloak, now resembles Al Shiverspine. Kevin takes out Jimmy's deodorant and approaches Ed, who freaks out and backs into a corner!

_"IT'S SHIVERSPINE!!! NO, NO DEODORANT!!!"_ Ed panics while Eddy sees a tall figure emerge from Kevin's shower-curtain cloak. It's actually Jimmy standing on Jenna's shoulders, but Jenna is hidden under a tattered jacket and clothes from the parents' bedroom. They're acting as a homeless bum with Jimmy as the head and arms! They approach the cowering Eddy, Jimmy shoving a cup in Eddy's face:

_"... Spare change, sir?..."_

_"AAAAAAAAAAHHHH, NOOOOOOOO!!!"_ Eddy dashes out the window after dropping all the bet money, followed by the SCREAMING Ed and they run away!!!

_"That'll teach those douchebags a thing or two!"_ Kevin says with satisfaction as Jimmy and Jenna dissemble the bum suit. Jimmy chuckles.

"Whoo, what a night! Let's get our money back and go!" Jenna, Jimmy and Kevin take the bet money dropped by Eddy. Just as they turn to leave, another Shiverspine appears, this one tall with glowing eyes!

_"Nice try, Double-D!"_ Kevin pulls off the cloak, revealing a whole glowing body!! This makes Kevin, Jenna and Jimmy believe that it really is...

_"AL SHIVERSPINE!!! RUUUUUUUUN!!!"_ Kevin, Jenna and Jimmy crash through the main attic's door, and jump out through its window. They fall to the lawn, get up uninjured, and run away SCREAMING!!!

_"Hahaha, that's what they get for messin with our men!"_ Lee says while Marie removes her Shiverspine mask and jumps off Lee's shoulders. They used their tent-cover as their outer cloak, and their sleep-sheet as the inner cloak. May was holding up their flashlight for the glowing effect, but now she's walking into the main attic, which is well-lit unlike the other rooms.

"WOW!! GIRLS, LOOK AT ALL THIS CANDY!!" May calls her sisters, and they see the main attic filled with giant mounds of candy!!

"Looks like we hit the jackpot!" Lee exclaims. _"I guess the legend really is true!"_

Marie hears Double-D's screams: "Is that Double-D? I'M COMIN, BABY!" she follows Double-D's screams to the trapdoor in the attic anteroom. Then May hears screams out the window, and she looks to see Double-D already running away!

_"Marie, Double-D's running away."_ she tells Marie, but Marie already opened the trapdoor. Bugs pour out as Marie helps Double-D out from Shiverspine's room.

But "Double-D" is actually Shiverspine (the REAL Shiverspine) taking Double-D's form! He grows two more faces out from his head, which are Ed's and Eddy's! Their body deforms, sprouts four more arms (making a total of six), and grows a long tail!! All these features are reminescent of the Asura from Buddhist mythology. Marie is the first to get caught, screaming in the Asura-Eds' arms!

_"Marie, Marie, Marie!"_ Asura-Edd greets with a demonic voice: _"Your attitude and style really turn me off. Let's improve some things, shall we?!"_

"STOP!!" Marie is held in place as Asura-Edd takes out more girly clothes for Marie, which totally freak her out: _"NOOOOOO, LET ME GO!! I DON'T WANNA BE A GIRLY GIRL!!! AAAAAAAHHHH-"_

_"MARIE!!"_ May and Lee rush to help, but May is also caught in the Asura-Eds' arms.

_"HELLO, MAY!"_ Asura-Ed greets demonically, taking out a drill: _"YOU'RE OVERDUE FOR YOUR NEXT DENTAL APPOINTMENT!!"_

_"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"_ May screams. Lastly, Lee is grabbed and lifted by the Asura-Eds' tail and struggles to fee herself. She bites their tail, only to get a mouthful of bugs and she spits it out!

_"ERRR LET GO, YA THREE-FACED FUCK!!"_

_"Oh, that wasn't very nice."_ Asura-Eddy says. _"For that, maybe I should-"_ he reveals a huge powersaw: _"- CUT YOUR HAIR OFF!!"_

_"NO, NOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"_ Lee screams with her sisters, and the Asura-Eds laugh monstrously! And seconds later, the Kankers are running out of the house SCREAMING!!! Shiverspine reverts to normal to watch them run off.

_"Tisk tisk..."_ he nods in disappointment. _"When will these people grow up? But eh, no matter. There's always next year!"_

With that, Shiverspine splits into countless bugs that fly towards the screen.

**Happy Halloween!!!**

* * *

Trivia: Al Shiverspine's sister Janyse is named after Janyse Jaud, who voices Sarah and Lee.

And thanks to Neo H.B.B. Sam for helping me out with some of the characters' fears!


	17. The Incredible Ed pt 1

BPS is finally airing here in America on Sunday!!! WHOOHOO!!!!

Anyways here's Episode 9, so enjoy and review!!!

* * *

**_Episode #9: The Incredible Ed_**

* * *

Physical Education class is in session at Peach Creek Jr. High, where today it's being held outside. We see Jimmy preparing to race against Zoe and three other students through an obstacle course. Jimmy wears a white shirt, turquoise sweatpants, tennis sneakers, and a turquoise headband. Zoe wears a black tanktop, yellow shorts, black-&-white sneakers, and the same armbands. Her normal pigtails were restyled into a ponytail for Physical Education.

"Ready, aaaand... GO!" The gym teacher signals, and the racers begin.

"Time for Zoe to put her ninja skills to use!" Zoe says in third-person, dashing ahead of the others to jump over and roll under barricades, run across a long balance beam, climb a rope-net, swing between elevated platforms, go down a slide, jump a wide gap, and climb a stone wall to ring her bell at the top! "WHOOHOO, I WIN!"

The other racers, being less agile than Zoe, take longer to get through the obstacle course. Jimmy quickly falls behind them as he has much more difficulty keeping up, due to his weak physique. He finally falls while swinging between the elevated platforms.

"AAAAAAHHH!!" Jimmy hits the ground hard. He manages to get up and catch his breath, then a volleyball lands at his feet.

"Hey dude, come join us! We need another player!" Kyle invites Jimmy to play volleyball. He wears a white tanktop, green shorts, and white sneakers.

"I'd be delighted!" Jimmy joins the game on Kyle's team. Kyle shows amazing skill and spikes the ball at one point to score for his team. But when the opposing team turns the tables...

"JIMMY, QUICK!!" one of Jimmy's teammates shouts at him to hit the ball back over the net. Jimmy does hit the ball, but so weakly that it still lands on their side, allowing the opposing team to score. They laugh at Jimmy, whose teammates berate him.

"Lay off, guys." Kyle wards off the others in Jimmy's defense, then tells Jimmy "No offense Jim, but you really gotta work on your arms. Try liftin some weights over there." he points towards the weights.

"Um, ok." Jimmy goes over to lift weights, where Sarah is doing the same. She wears an outfit similar to what she wore in "Rock-A-Bye-Ed." While she is easily lifts fifty-pound dumbells, Jimmy can barely lift twenty pounds!

"Come on, Jimmy! Put some muscle into it!" Sarah cheers on Jimmy, who strains so much in lifting the dumbells that he turns red and veins bulge out of his head. So Sarah helps him lift up the dumbells, but she applies too much force and makes Jimmy whack himself in the face with one of the dumbells, sending him for a loop and he lands face-down!

"Oooh, I'm sorry Jimmy!" Sarah apologizes, helping Jimmy up.

"Aaaargh, _what's wrong with me?!"_ Jimmy asks himself in frustration as he was unable to even lift lightweight dumbells.

* * *

Later, lunchtime comes. Sarah, Kyle and Zoe sit at their table with school-served lunch while waiting for Jimmy to arrive. Jimmy comes in with his own bag and heads towards his table.

"GAH!!" Jimmy halts in front of a big, intimidating bully. He wears a sleeveless black shirt, blue jeans, black sneakers, a red bandana, and has a "Mom" tattoo on his shoulder.

_"Um... Hello, Andrew..."_ Jimmy greets shakily.

"Hey, squirt! Let's see what ya got today!" Andrew reaches for Jimmy's lunch. Sarah, Kyle and Zoe hear Jimmy's scream, then rush over to see Andrew taking his lunch away and rejoining his gang. "Yo, boys! The squirt got fruit this time!"

Andrew and his gang all share Jimmy's lunch with each other and walk away while eating it.

"HEY, WHO THE HECK YA GUYS THINK YOU ARE?!" Sarah shouts angrily at the bullies, but Kyle holds her back.

_"Sarah, don't make a scene or you'll get in trouble!"_ Kyle warns Sarah while Zoe tends to the bruised Jimmy, who finally breaks down:

_"WWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!"_

* * *

Jimmy continues crying after school in his room, where his parents hear him from downstairs.

"Uuugh. Wendy, go check what's wrong with James." Jimmy's dad sends his wife (Wendy) upstairs. She stops at Jimmy's door.

"Jimmy?... Is something wrong, dear?" she asks.

_"I HATE MY LIFE!! WHY WAS I BORN LIKE THIS?!!"_ Jimmy cries. _"I'M SO WEAK!! AND BECAUSE OF THAT, EVERYDAY'S THE SAME!! NOTHING EVER CHANGES!! BOY WAS I DELUSIONAL TO THINK THAT I'D BE A WORLD-FAMOUS ENTERTAINER SOMEDAY!!! I'M PATHETIC!!! I'M NOTHING!!!"_

_"Don't say that, you're not nothing."_ Wendy tries cheering up her son: _"You're our special and talented little boy! Come on, let's talk for a little bit."_

She opens Jimmy's door, only to be blasted back by a deluge of tears that Jimmy flooded his room with. It surges downstairs, where Jimmy's dad (James Sr.) is also caught, and he and Wendy are washed out through their front door. Then Zoe suddenly appears in Jimmy's room, sitting with him.

"Z-Zoe? How'd you get in here?" Jimmy asks.

"My beastly ninja stealth!" Zoe answers. "Now listen up! Kyle's gonna help you improve yourself with this wicked workout routine!"

"It isn't gonna help." Jimmy says gloomily. _"I couldn't even lift ten-pound dumbells for Pete's sake."_

Hearing Jimmy's pessimism, Zoe becomes more serious: _"Kyle planned this routine specifically for you, Jimmy. Do ya wanna be a noodle-armed weakling all your life?"_

_"......... No, not anymore."_ Jimmy answers. _"I'll do it."_ he accepts, and Zoe's smile returns!

* * *

Soon afterwards, Kyle starts helping out Jimmy, who's in his gym attire again.

"Ok man, legs straight and chest out." Kyle fixes Jimmy's posture.

"So when do I start?" Jimmy asks.

"Right now!" Kyle answers. _"First, you're gonna run ten laps around the cul-de-sac. Come and tell me when you're done. And by looking at how much you sweat and your respiration rate, I'll know if ya did ten laps or not."_

Jimmy's eyes bug out upon hearing this, but he regains himself. He runs the exhausting ten laps, after which he tells Kyle and is rehydrated by Sarah. Then Kyle has him do push-ups, sit-ups, chin-ups on the monkey bars at the park, crunches, and so on while Sarah and Zoe cheer Jimmy on. They repeat the routine for the next few days, and he eventually collapses while doing the ten laps again.

_"Oh, this isn't getting me anywhere."_ Jimmy sulks, trying to get up again.

* * *

At Rolf's farm, the sheep are grazing. A coyote sneaks in to take one of them, but he's quickly caught and thrashed around by Fido (this is a homage to the "Ralph and Sam" skits from Looney Tunes). Nearby, Rolf is wheeling a wheelbarrow full of orange mushrooms down the sidewalk, past Ed and Kevin who are playing basketbal against each other, and towards Double-D's garage where he's taking part in a science project with Double-D and Eddy.

"Here you go, head-in-sock Ed boy! The final supply of Titan Caps,_ the enchanted fungi that grant even the wimpiest of wimpy creatures the strength of an ox!"_ Rolf delivers the Titan Cap mushrooms.

"Thank you, Rolf! I already managed to extract enough Titan Cap enzymes for about three dozen doses!" Double-D answers and shows three racks on their worktable, each of which holds a dozen vials filled with Titan Cap extract. "Now Eddy... Eddy?..."

"Oh, comin!" Eddy comes back in from a fruit beverage scam he's doing on the front lawn. "What is it?"

"Did you get the test mice, Eddy?" Double-D asks.

"Oh yeah, right." Eddy zips away for a sec, then returns with a tank of mice. "So what are we doin again?"

"We're testing out how different quantities of Titan Cap dosage effect mice." Double-D explains while caging the mice in seperate cages: _"We'll inject each group of mice with different amounts of Titan Cap extract, then we'll monitor their progress over a three-day period and record the results! The point of our project is to determine whether or not Titan Cap extract has the same side effects as anabolic steroids, thus ultimately confirming whether or not it could be used as a safer alternative in the future. Speaking of which, Rolf, do you know of any side effects?"_

"Rolf does not, _for Papa only allows one fungus for every twenty-four hours to work the lean winter days."_ Rolf answers.

"So, what you guys are sayin is these toadstools make ya stronger?" Eddy asks.

"Yes." Double-D and Rolf answer. Eddy sees Jimmy struggling to complete his laps outside, then takes two racks of Titan Cap extracts. Double-D asks "Eddy, where are you going with those?"

_"Takin em to my place for safe keepin, just in case!"_ Eddy answers. "Besides, I doubt we'll be usin all of it."

Eddy is actually using the extracts for his fruit beverage scam. He takes the vials, pours the extracts into the drinks, and shakes them to mix. Then he renames his scam, painting "BUFFRUIT SHAKES"(merging "buff" and "fruit") onto his stand. Jimmy, now laying exhausted on the ground, sees this...

"Buffruit?.... Oh, GOODY!" Jimmy springs back onto his feet and dashes towards Eddy's stand.

"Welcome, Jimmy my boy!" Eddy greets. _"Feelin like a wimp and you wanna do somethin about it, but can't cuz you're THAT freakin weak? Then today's your big break! Buffruit Shakes build muscle faster than you can say 'onomatopoeia', and they come in many different flavors! Plus, they're only a dollar each!"_

"Yes, YES!! I'll take one!" Jimmy pays to buy one, and immediately drinks up. He shakes for a bit...

... Then he buffs up Popeye-style, blowing steam from his ears!

"W-Wow, I can already feel it taking effect!" Jimmy exclaims, then a basketball lands at his feet.

"Yo Fluffy, pass the ball back here, will ya?" Kevin requests so he and Ed can resume their game. Jimmy picks up the ball, then he decides to test his new strength with it. He dribbles the ball towards the hoop and makes an easy slam dunk, causing Ed's and Kevin's jaws to drop to the ground in surprise and amazement!

_"Whoa Jimmy! When did you get so good?!"_ Ed asks. Sarah, Zoe and Kyle saw the whole thing.

"WHOOHOO!!" Sarah and Zoe hug Jimmy, while Kyle remarks "Looks like my plan's startin to pay off!"

"Boy Jimmy, we can't wait to see how well ya do in gym tomorrow!" Sarah exclaims.

"Yeah, you could probably be a ninja now!" Zoe adds. After they go, Jimmy returns to Eddy's Buffruit stand.

_"I'll take all of them; they beat working out by a long shot!"_ Jimmy pays up to buy ALL of the Buffruit shakes. Eddy is speechless at first...

"....... GYAHA, NOW I GOT THE MULA TO KEEP ME GOIN TIL I GET ANOTHER JOB!!" Eddy dances around with his jar of money!

* * *

The next day in school, Jimmy drinks Buffruit for gym class to boost his performance. He manages to keep up with Zoe on the obstacle course, plays volleyball with Kyle to lead their team to victory, and easily lifts heavy weights like Sarah! Even the gym teacher takes note of this.

* * *

Later, the four are going to lunch together. Jimmy has his own lunch again.

"The gym teacher said I've improved enormously!" Jimmy tells his friends. "He even suggested I join one of the sports teams!"

"Wow ahahahaha, most WICKED!" Zoe exclaims. "But you should totally be a ninja, like me!"

"Which one you wanna join, dude?" Kyle asks.

"Don't know yet." Jimmy is unsure. They enter the cafeteria, where Andrew and his gang stand in their way.

_"What do ya got today, squirt?!"_ Andrew lifts Jimmy upside-down by his ankle, but Jimmy holds onto his lunch.

"Don't let him get to you, Jimmy!" Sarah shouts, and Jimmy breaks free from Andrew's grasp.

"Andrew, I'm not the same as before. _I'm not letting you take my lunch this time!"_ Jimmy stands his ground.

"Heh, ya got guts, squirt!" Andrew comments. _"But now I'm gonna have to rip em outta ya."_

Andrew attacks Jimmy, and Andrew's gang holds back Sarah, Kyle and Zoe to make them watch. Jimmy tries fending off Andrew, but in the process, he drops his lunch and accidentally falls on it, ruining it.

_"..... You ruined my lunch..."_ Andrew then slams Jimmy. Despite Jimmy's new strength, it's still no match against the brutish Andrew. Everyone in the cafeteria watches Andrew pulverize Jimmy and throw him around, cracking the floor and walls in the process. Sarah, Zoe and Kyle try breaking free from the other bullies to help Jimmy.

"GET OFF!!" Sarah releases herself through sheer force. Zoe uses her flexibility to slip out from her captor's grasp, and Kyle bites the arm of the bully holding him to make him let go. Sarah, Zoe and Kyle rush to get Andrew off Jimmy, but then teachers step in.

"OK, THAT'S ENOUGH!!" one of the teachers shouts, and all the students freeze. Another looks at Andrew and his lackeys. "You're coming with us."

The teachers take Andrew and the remaining bullies to the office. Sarah, Kyle and Zoe help the heavily bruised Jimmy to the nurse's office. Then one of the teachers comes in for Sarah, Kyle and Zoe:

_"You three. We need you in the office for what happened during lunch."_ the teacher says.

_"Right."_ Sarah, Kyle and Zoe leave with the teacher. Jimmy covers his face in frustration, remembering all the times Andrew bullied him.

His frustration turns to anger, then more anger. He starts shaking with rage and he turns red. Then the screen cracks, and it finally shatters!

* * *

The next morning, the vengeful Jimmy takes all the Buffruit from inside the refrigerator.

_"Push me around, will he?"_ Jimmy drinks a Buffruit, then another, and another... _"HE'LL REGRET THE DAY HE FIRST MESSED WITH JAMES LUCAS BLACKWELL JR!!!"_

He drinks ALL the Buffruit..... then he feels a sharp pain in his stomach. Holding his stomach in pain, Jimmy SCREAMS as his body trembles and shifts like crazy (like Ed did in "Flea Bitten Ed"). Then...

_"GRRRAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!" we see Jimmy's shadow grow ten times bigger and develop a ripped outline!!!_ His mom Wendy, wearing her morning robe and slippers, comes into the kitchen after hearing his screams. She sees Jimmy...

... And immediately faints!!

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

Trivia: Jimmy's bully Andrew is named after one of the storyboard artists, Andrew Park. And in "Your Ed Here," Eddy calls Jimmy "Blackwell" at one point, so I believe that is Jimmy's surname.

Character Inspiration: Kyle is based on (and named after) one of my old friends from middle school, and he was one of the very few friends I had at that time. He enjoyed playing his guitar, which he deeply cherished, and I exaggerated this trait for Kyle's character. He also helped others a lot, and this the inspiration for my character Kyle helping Sarah with her anger and Jimmy with his insecurity. And since the name Kyle always makes me think of a stereotypical surfer dude, I decided to add that theme to him and his house.


	18. The Incredible Ed pt 2

Watching BPS was a huge nostalgia bomb for me and every other EEnE fan out there. I'm kinda depressed that the show's over, but it'll never truly die as long as it stays in our hearts!!!

Anyway, here's episode 9B folks, full of action and laughs! Enjoy and review!!

* * *

Andrew is hanging out with his buddies in a old vacant lot near the stores. They hear Jimmy calling out:

_"OH ANDREW, WHERE ARE YOU?!!"_

"Hey, that sounds like that Jimmy kid." one of the bullies says.

"So Squirt's lookin for me, eh?" Andrew gets up and cracks his knuckles. "I already know what he wants! Boys, make sure nobody interferes."

Jimmy arrives: _"Jimmy gonna destroy you!"_ he remarks with a sinister grin, but Andrew is unfazed by Jimmy's now-enormous, seriously muscular physique that ripped off his clothes except his pants.

"So you've gotten bigger, eh!" Andrew comments. _"Looks like this is gonna be a fun fight!"_

Kids gather around as Andrew launches the first punch, which Jimmy simply grabs between his buffed-up fingers, surprising Andrew!

Nearby, Zoe is jumping around like a ninja. She hears the fight, and she jumps off a fence and up atop a pole. From there, she spots Jimmy throwing Andrew around and punching him into the ground, much to everyone's surprise and shock!

"WHOA, JIMMY'S HUGE!!! I GOTTA GET THE OTHERS!!!" Zoe bounds away to get Sarah and Kyle.

* * *

In the lane, Kyle sits on the dumpster, serenading a group of girls with a guitar song.

"KYLE, THAT WAS SO SWEET!" the girls all hug Kyle simultaneously, squeezing him!

_"Can't... breathe... ladies..."_ Kyle chokes out. Zoe arrives.

"KYLE, YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT'S HAPPENING!!"

* * *

At Ed's and Sarah's house, Sarah is doing dishes when Zoe suddenly pops up through the drain! Sarah screams in surprise and instinctively swings a pot at Zoe, which Zoe dodges with a somersault over Sarah's head.

"Sorry about my sudden ninja entry, but JIMMY'S HUGE AND HE'S FIGHTING ANDREW!!" Zoe explains.

"....... WHAT?!!" Sarah asks in utter shock!

* * *

Zoe leads Sarah and Kyle to where Jimmy and Andrew are fighting, where they push through the other kids and bullies.

_".... No way..."_ Kyle utters when they see a horribly beaten and defeated Andrew trying to crawl away from the angry Jimmy.

_"Oh my God..."_ Sarah utters, amazed by both Andrew's defeat and horror at Jimmy's new form.

"YEAH CRAWL AWAY, ANDREW!!" Jimmy tells Andrew.

_"Boys... Help... me..."_ Andrew calls to his lackeys. One takes Andrew away from Jimmy while the others all jump Jimmy! Jimmy grabs two of them, WHACKS their heads together, and throws them aside. Another bully lunges at Jimmy, but Jimmy grabs him, curls him into a tight ball, and bowls him at the other bullies, knocking them all out!!

"NOBODY MESSES WITH JIMMY!! JIMMY BIG NOW!! _JIMMY IS ALPHA MALE NOW!!"_ Jimmy shouts.

"SAYS YOU; NOT EVEN BULLIES DESERVE THAT CRAP!!" another boy attacks Jimmy, only to be quickly defeated as well. This prompts the other kids to run away screaming as a few more boys attack and are defeated by Jimmy.

"JIMMY, STOP THIS!! THIS ISN'T YOU, DUDE!!" Kyle tries persuading Jimmy.

"DO NOT TELL JIMMY TO STOP!!" Jimmy launches a punch at Kyle, but Sarah grabs his beefy fist with her hands.

"KYLE, GO GET HELP!! ZOE AND I WILL HOLD HIM OFF!!" Sarah tells Kyle before tightening her grip on Jimmy's fist and throwing him through a wall.

"HOHOHO, YOU WANNA FIGHT, EH!" Jimmy chases Sarah down the street while Kyle runs off to get help. Jimmy grabs Sarah...

"HIYAH!!" Zoe somersaults into the air and does a spinning heel drop on Jimmy's head, knocking him down and he releases Sarah. Zoe exclaims _"Time for some ninja action!"_

Zoe throws numerous cardboard shurikens at Jimmy as he gets up from her heel drop, but Jimmy jumps into the sky and drops down towards her. She dodges, then performs a series of backflips to avoid Jimmy's swinging arms.

"GET HIM, SPARKY!!" Zoe uses hammerspace to throw her dog, Sparky, at Jimmy! Sparky bites onto Jimmy's arm, distracting him enough to allow Sarah to pull out a pole, wielding it like a giant staff. Sarah repeatedly whacks Jimmy with it; one whack is so hard it sends Jimmy flying into the air and he crashes back down!

"I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE, JIMMY!! DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS!!" she yells, but Jimmy doesn't listen. So she swings again, but Jimmy grabs the pole and flings her away. Zoe jumps onto the pole he's now holding and runs along it, brandishing a toy ninja sword to attack Jimmy! But he stops the sword between his fingers, grabs her with his other hand, and throws her sword towards an oncoming bus, blowing out one of its front tires.

"Heh, nothing you can do to Jimmy now!" Jimmy gloats while holding Zoe in his hand.

"Ahahahaha, sure there is!" Zoe pokes Jimmy's eyes, and he screams "YEEOOOW!!!"

Jimmy drops Zoe and holds his eyes in pain. Taking advantage of this, Sarah picks up the bus with the blown-out tire, rushes up to Jimmy with it, and SLAMS him through the street with it!! She and Zoe check to see if that beat him, but then he bursts out from under them and sends them flying. The two girls hit the street and skid along it, and Jimmy stomps towards them as they get up. Then...

POW, Ed punches Jimmy's face so hard it sends him through a dozen houses!!! Ed proclaims _"NOBODY MESSES WITH BABY SISTER AND HER FRIEND!!"_

"ED!!" Sarah is overjoyed.

* * *

Meanwhile, Double-D, Eddy and Rolf are examining the results of their Titan Cap experiment on the mice:

"Group A has shown no side effects, but that's to be expected since they were injected with the least amount of Titan Cap extract. Let's see Group B!" Double-D records Group A's results and examines Group B: "Hmm, there's some noticeable increase in muscle mass, but they aren't showing anything unusual either."

"Einstein-noodled Ed boy, come look at this!" Rolf calls Double-D over to Group C, which had the most Titan Cap extract injected. As a result, they doubled in size and are fighting each other. Rolf explains: _"The vermin have super-sized and are making like barbarians on the battlefield. Perhaps this is why Papa only allows one each day."_

"Then that would mean if Titan Caps are taken in large amounts, _the overall effects would be akin to steroids!"_ Double-D records the results. _"It appears we have a potential alternative as long as it isn't overconsumed. But then again, perhaps it's best not to take chances."_

_"Maybe Sprite Shrooms can do the trick!"_ Rolf exclaims.

"Sprite Shrooms?" Double-D and Eddy ask.

"Yes, Rolf's family cultivates Sprite Shrooms along with the Titan Caps." Rolf explains: _"We harvest them and keep them in stock. And should anyone do a misdeed, they'd be force-fed the fungus which would diminutize them down to the size of a mountain sprite, hence the name. Then they'd be thrown into the Cage of Confining Justice until further notice, and they wouldn't be able to break out due to the shrinking effect of the Sprite Shroom they were forced to eat. A cruel punishment, yes, but it is what turned Rolf into a man."_

_"HELP, HELP!!"_ Kyle is heard, and Double-D, Eddy and Rolf rush towards him.

"What's happening, Kyle?" Double-D asks.

"Dudes, it's Jimmy! He's huge, man!" Kyle explains: _"Seriously he's, like, ten feet tall and ripped like he's on roids or somethin. He's goin alpha-male-psycho on everyone, and we need people to stop him before he does some serious damage."_

_"Damn, didn't think my Buffruit would do THAT to him."_ Eddy says, catching the attention of Kyle, Rolf and Double-D!

_"Hello, what was that?"_ Rolf asks, and Double-D realizes what Eddy did: _"Oh no you didn't. You did NOT use our Titan Cap extracts for own gain, did you?!"_

"What, I needed money to keep me goin til I get another job!" Eddy explains. "And Curly needed a boost in the physical department, _so I helped him out._ That way, both he and I benefitted!"

A distant BOOM is heard and Double-D, Eddy, Rolf and Kyle see several houses flying through the air. Then they hear Jimmy's ROAR!!!

"YOU CREATED A MONSTER, EDDY!!" Double-D yells.

"WELL HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW HE'D DRINK EM ALL AT ONCE?!!" Eddy retaliates. "AND WON'T IT JUST WEAR OFF AFTER 24 HOURS LIKE ROLF SAID?!!"

_"IMAGINE THE DAMAGES JIMMY CAN DO WITHIN 24 HOURS!!!"_ Double-D screams right in Eddy's face.

"DUDES!!" Kyle breaks them up. _"We gotta cooperate and stop Jimmy."_

"Beach-vibe Kyle boy is right." Rolf agrees. "Ed boys, Rolf will go get some Sprite Shrooms so we can make an antidote and neutralize the rampaging colossus."

* * *

Ed dodges Jimmy's giant punches, until Jimmy grabs his jacket and pulls on it to draw Ed towards him: "That was a mean punch you gave Jimmy earlier! NOW YOU FEEL JIMMY'S!!"

Jimmy PUNCHES Ed so hard it sends him flying through several town blocks!! Sarah screams "ED!!," and Kevin is riding his motorcycle when he sees Ed flying through houses! Ed finally lands inside a restaurant, where his head gets lodged inside a rotisserie oven containing a whole chicken.

"Yummy!" Ed devours the chicken in one bite, then wrenches his head out of the oven to see Jimmy making one HUGE leap from where he punched Ed. Jimmy brings his huge feet down onto the restaurant, destroying it but Ed emerges from the rubble with little injury. Jimmy catches him off-guard, and Ed barely dodges his grab and throws pickle jars to slow him down. Jimmy shields himself, but the pickle juice splatters all over him, and now he resembles the Hulk (hence the episode's name).

_"JIMMY MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!"_ he screams in rage.

* * *

Double-D extracts enzymes from the purplish Sprite Shrooms, eventually obtaining enough for two doses. Rolf arms himself with a pitchfork and uses Wilfred, Meggy and the other pigs to pull a chariot, which he rides in with Double-D, Eddy and Kyle.

"FULL SPEED AHEAD, PORCINES!!" Rolf dangles food in front of the pigs to get them moving. They speed through the streets to find Jimmy, but upon seeing Sarah and Zoe, they stop. "Megamouth Sarah girl and Hyperactive Zoe girl, where is Harbinger-of-destruction Jimmy?"

"I'll lead the way." Sarah hops into the chariot while Zoe rides Wilfred. She exclaims "Jimmy's havin this epic nut-bustin fight with Ed! Let's get popcorn along the way, heehahahahaha!!"

* * *

Kevin zooms towards Ed's and Jimmy's location by following the trail of destruction left in their fight's wake. He sees Ed and Jimmy battling their way down a street: "What the hell?! FLUFFY?!!"

Despite his shock, Kevin wastes no time in parking his motorcycle and leaping onto Jimmy's back, knocking Jimmy off balance and he spirals into a house. Jimmy throws Kevin off, then Ed bashes him with a car. Jimmy knocks it away, then Ed grabs a mail truck, but that gets knocked away too. Then Ed uses Kevin's motorcycle!

_"HEY DOUCHE, DON'T USE KATHLEEN!!!"_ Kevin pauses the fight to take his motorcycle (Kathleen) from Ed!

"My bad, Kevin!" Ed apologizes, allowing Kevin to take Kathleen to safety before they resume their fight with Jimmy. Even as they jump Jimmy, their efforts aren't enough to take him down. But then Rolf's chariot arrives!

_"Take control of the chariot, Double-D Ed boy. HYAH!!"_ Rolf rips his shirt off and dives into the fray with his pitchfork to help Ed and Kevin! The three team up against Jimmy while Double-D leads the others away to watch from a distance.

"JIMMY SMASH!!" Jimmy swings his arm at Rolf, but misses and demolishes a house. Ed throws his arms around Jimmy's neck to strangle him. While Jimmy tries shaking off Ed, Kevin pulls out a metal baseball bat to pummel Jimmy, who grabs Ed. Ed sheds his jacket to escape while Jimmy kicks Kevin back. Ed, Kevin and Rolf group together and (in slow-motion) lunge at Jimmy simultaneously, striking him and they tumble into the playground, where their fight continues. Double-D, Eddy, Sarah, Kyle Zoe and the pigs watch from behind a bush.

"YAH!!" Jimmy stomps the ground, shaking it and knocking Ed, Kevin and Rolf off their feet. Jimmy leaps into the sky to come down on Ed and Kevin, who roll out of the way to escape his body slam, which rocks everything nearby.

"May the Gods have mercy, BECAUSE ROLF SHALL NOT!!" Rolf wildly attacks with his pitchfork, cutting Jimmy's hair.

"NOBODY WRECKS JIMMY'S HAIR!!" Jimmy grabs Rolf's pitchfork and slams Rolf against Ed. Rolf and Ed fly into a tree, and Jimmy throws the pitchfork at them!

"WHOA!!" Ed and Rolf duck just as the pitchfork pierces through the tree, the slide, and everything else in its path! Kevin then whacks Jimmy in the crotch, but it only makes him angry.

"Shit!" Kevin leaps up to whack Jimmy's head, but Jimmy's fist slams him into the sandbox. Ed saves him from Jimmy's punch and throws sand into Jimmy's eyes, then Rolf calls them over while Jimmy is blinded.

_"Rolf has a plan with the other Ed boys to stop Jimmy, but Rolf requires your assistance."_ he tells Ed and Kevin while pulling out a long rope of sausage: _"Now listen carefully..."_

While Jimmy gets the sand out of his eyes, Double-D and Eddy see Rolf's signal: "Ok Eddy, get ready." Double-D gives Eddy one of the Sprite Shroom syringes.

"Wait, what if my handsome face gets messed up?" Eddy worries.

"Don't worry! _Just blend in with your surroundings like a ninja and move in!"_ Zoe pushes Eddy ahead, and Eddy uses a patch of grass as cover to quietly crawl up close while Jimmy rips the roundabout out of the ground in an attempt to find Ed, Kevin and Rolf.

_"Grrrrr, where are they?..."_ he throws the roundabout aside. Then Rolf suddenly pops out of the ground in an attempt to uppercut Jimmy, but Jimmy smacks him away.

"NOW!!" Rolf signals Ed and Kevin, who lunge at Jimmy from each side but Jimmy easily sends them flying. But as they're sent flying, it's revealed that Ed and Kevin are holding each end of Rolf's sausage rope, which Rolf hid underground before attacking Jimmy. The momentum of Ed's and Kevin's knockbacks yank the sausage rope from underground and it wraps around Jimmy like a binding chain, restraining him much to his surprise! Rolf then calls to Eddy to "INJECT HIM!!"

Eddy briefly hesitates before rushing towards Jimmy with the Sprite Shroom syringe. He almost makes it but Jimmy breaks free, knocking back Ed and Kevin and he grabs Eddy, causing him to drop the syringe.

"NO!!!" Double-D, Sarah and Kyle scream, but Zoe remarks _"Oooo, this is gettin intense!"_

"YYYEEEOOOWWW!!!" Eddy screams in pain as Jimmy tightens his grip on him.

"LET HIM GO!!!" Kevin charges towards Jimmy, but Jimmy grabs his arm and starts twisting it! "OH STOP STOP STOP, _OW OW OWWWWWW!!!"_

"ROLF, HERE!!" Double-D throws the second syringe to Rolf. Rolf catches it and sneaks up on Jimmy, who throws Kevin through the lane's fence and against the dumpster, knocking him out.

_"SLAHAAAARRRGH!!!"_ Rolf lunges at Jimmy with the syringe, but Jimmy uses Eddy as a shield, and Rolf ends up injecting the Sprite Shroom extract into Eddy's nose!! Eddy squeals _"Ouch!..."_

_"NOOOO, DAMMIT!!!"_ Double-D screams, then covers his mouth after realizing what he said! Jimmy grabs Rolf's face, lifts him up, throws Eddy at Ed, then...

"HYAH!!" Jimmy slams the struggling Rolf into the ground, knocking him out.

"WHY YOU-" Ed furiously attacks Jimmy, only to be sent skidding along the ground and through the seesaw.

_"No this can't be happening..."_ Sarah panics as Jimmy approaches Ed. She's about to go in but Kyle, Zoe and Double-D stop her. Jimmy is closing in on Ed, who sees the Sprite Shroom syringe that Eddy dropped earlier. He crawls towards it...

"Jimmy got you now!" Jimmy grabs Ed and lifts him to eye level. _"Any last words?"_

_"You've... been... a BAD BOY!!!"_ Ed reveals the syringe in his hand, using his remaining strength to stab it into Jimmy's arm and inject the Sprite Shroom enzymes into him, neutralizing the Titan Cap enzymes inside him!!

_"WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!"_ Jimmy's scream returns to its original high pitch as he drops Ed and shrinks back down to normal!!

_"YEAH, ALRIGHT!!!"_ Double-D, Sarah, Zoe and Kyle cheer. Jimmy and Ed succumb to sheer fatigue, but Sarah and Double-D catch them as they fall. Kyle helps Kevin up, while the pigs lick Rolf to wake him up:

"ROLF DOESN'T WISH TO TASTE YOUR SWINE SLOBBER!" Rolf wipes off the pigs' slobber and he gets up. _"Is it over?"_

"Indeed, Rolf!" Double-D happily answers as he and Sarah respectively help Ed and Jimmy walk.

_"W-What happened?..."_ Jimmy asks.

_"Double-D said you took too much of this wierd mushroom juice and you went crazy."_ Sarah answers. _"Now let's get ya home so you can take a bath and rest."_

Sarah, Kyle and Double-D help Jimmy, Kevin and Ed back to their houses, followed by Rolf and his pigs. Meanwhile, Zoe holds a now-shrunken Eddy in her hands!

"You're so tiny, Eddy! Awww, you're like a wee little plush toy!!" Zoe cuddles Eddy.

_"Great, as if I wasn't small enough already."_ Eddy sarcastically grumbles. _"It's just like season three, except now it's my WHOLE BODY!!"_

"EEEEEEEEEE, I'm so takin you home!" Zoe takes Eddy away: _"We're gonna have a most WICKED time together!!"_

_"NO, LEMME GO!! LEMME GO LEMME GO!! AAAAAHHH!!"_ Eddy tries escaping Zoe's grasp as she takes him to her house.

**The End!!!**

* * *

Trivia: Kevin's motorcycle Kathleen is named after none other than his own voice actor, Kathleen Barr (who also voices Marie). And the Season 3 episode Eddy referred to was "X Marks the Ed."

Stay tuned for next week's episode, as the Kankers' background and Plank's origin will be revealed!!!


	19. My Ed for You pt 1

Whew, I had to stay up late for the time to write this. *yawns* Well, here's episode 10!

This chapter is long, and has lots of swearing and some serious themes. But I hope you still enjoy and review it!!

* * *

**_Episode #10: My Ed For You_**

* * *

We see a huge waterfall, and at the top stands a gigantic oak tree. The tree has a Plank-like face carved into its trunk, and has lost most of its leaves since it's late November. Jonny and Plank sit on one of the tree's branches, having a spectacular view of the skyline of a city situated around the base of the waterfall.

"Wow, what a view!" Jonny marvels at the skyline. "Your grampa is the best for letting us come up here, Plank!" Jonny then listens to the tree itself: "........... I said you're the best, Grampa Oak!.......... I said YOU'RE THE BEST!!" Jonny then listens to Plank again: "....... Yeah, your grampa really DOES need hearing aids!"

A wind blows by them, across a field behind Grampa Oak, through the overcast sky, and back to Peach Creek.

* * *

The wind blows through the trailer park, where we see police cars. Mama Kanker is standing outside her trailer, finishing a talk with several officers and a juvenile counselor.

"I have other clients, so this can't go on." the counselor says.

"Don't worry, I'll take her from here." Mama Kanker replies.

"Ok then, as her mother, we'll leave her in your hands." the police chief says. "Let's roll, boys."

The cops and counselor leave while Mama Kanker goes into her trailer, where Lee joins her side. Marie sits gruffly on the sofa, her hair loose.

"I can't believe this, Marie." Mama Kanker begins. _"This is the third time this month I had to bail ya out."_

"Yeah, so?" Marie doesn't care.

"Soooo, your vandalizin has to stop." Mama tells Marie. May listens to their conversation from the top of the stairs.

"But I like art, and my counselor said I that's how I should express myself." Marie explains.

"Vandalizin ain't art." Lee says.

"Leah don't, I'll handle this." Mama tells Lee before continuing: _"Marie, I know ya wanna express yourself, but vandalizin private property ain't the way to do it. It can and will get ya into deeper trouble than you are now, and I can't waste anymore money bailin ya out of jail or payin for school merchandise you damaged. You need to start doin your part in helpin this family, Marie. Leah already has a job, and May's improvin her grades. Yours are fallin, your attendance is poor, and you're playin around in the streets instead. You gotta improve your grades and get a job. We're strugglin, and if ya don't help, we'll be livin out in the cold."_

_"Well it's YOUR fault we're strugglin!"_ Marie snaps. Lee gasps in shock, and Mama's good eye twitches:

_"Excuse me?!..."_ she asks.

"Yeah, you heard me!" Marie stands up: "You keep WASTING money on me to bail me out! WASTING!! WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?!! WASTING, ARE YOU JUST WASTING SHIT ON ME?!! THEN THAT PROVES IT, _YOU DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS ABOUT ME!!"_

"MARIE!!!" Lee yells, and Mama yells louder: "THAT AIN'T TRUE!! I ALWAYS LOVED YA!!"

"NO YOU DON'T!!" Marie disagrees. May, frightened by the argument, hides in her room.

"BULLSHIT!!" Mama shouts: _"I'M THE ONE WHO GOT YA PRESENTS EVERY CHRISTMAS AND BIRTHDAY!! I'M THE ONE WHO GOT YA FOOD AND CLOTHING!! I'M THE ONE WHO TOOK CARE OF YA WHEN YOU WERE SICK!! I'M THE ONE WHO TOOK YA TO THE HOSPITAL WHEN YOU POKED YOUR EYE OUT!! AND I'M THE ONE WHO FOUGHT FOR YOUR CUSTODY TO KEEP YA FROM YOUR ASSHOLE FATHER!!!"_

"AND THAT WAS ALL WASTED EFFORT ON ME, WASN'T IT?!!!" Marie asks: _"IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOUR POOR JUDGEMENT THAT WE'RE STRUGGLING LIKE THIS!!!"_

_"MY JUDGEMENT KEEPS YOU ALIVE, MARIE NICOLE KANKER!!!"_ Mama retaliates.

_"YOUR JUDGEMENT'S SHITTY AS FUCK, URSULA!!!"_ Marie screams, gathering her stuff in her bags and putting her hoodie on: _"I'M DONE HERE!!! I AIN'T LISTENIN TO SOME 39-YEAR-OLD BITCH WHOSE AFFAIRS WITH MEN LED TO OUR LIVIN IN THIS TRAILER IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!"_ she goes through the front door, and Lee tries stopping her.

"GET OFF ME!!!" Marie pushes Lee away and walks across the creek bridge and through the woods.

"MOM, ARE YA JUST GONNA LET HER GO?!!" Lee asks: _"................. Mom?....."_

Lee goes to her mother Ursula, who silently turns away...

_"... We'll find her later..."_ Ursula goes upstairs and hears May crying: _"It's ok, May..."_ she talls May before continuing to her room, where she looks at pictures of Butch, Bubba and Rod (her daughters' fathers). Butch (Lee's dad) had curly orange hair and a blue tooth like Lee, and wore a suit and top hat like that of a magician. Bubba (Marie's dad) was a bodybuilder with shoulder-length blue hair and a face similar to Marie's, and wore a red-&-white cap and red briefs. Rod (May's dad) was bald, had a big nose like May, and wore sailor attire.

Ursula looks at their pictures, sheds a tear, and swats them to the floor. Then she naps in her hammock to curb her anger.

* * *

In the woods, Marie looks at an "Edd x Marie" she carved into a tree some time ago. Smoking a cigarette, she continues into the neighborhood and towards the property that she vandalized: she spray-painted a huge picture of Double-D and herself embracing. She cheers up:

_"He'll help me!"_ she heads towards the cul-de-sac before hearing Ed's and Eddy's laughter from the junkyard. But as she goes to the junkyard, a shadowy figure watches her from inside a van with a giant squid painted on it, and from inside it we hear distressed children. The shadowy figure uses a picture of Marie (unknown how he got it) to identify her...

* * *

In the junkyard, Ed and Eddy search through piles of junk while Double-D watches from a ledge.

"Guys I hate to burst your little bubbles, but there's no possible method to prevent the entire bird population from returning next spring."

"Wanna bet?" Eddy asks. "Birds nest in trees, and they migrate south in the fall. _So if we just wipe out all the trees, those annoying little twitters ain't gonna have nowhere to perch or get busy with babies, and they'll have to go somewhere else!"_

"See Double-D, Eddy always has a plan!" Ed exclaims.

"And Ed, I thought you loved birds. So why are you assisting Eddy?" Double-D asks.

"Those otherworldly swallows." Ed grimly answers: _"They once took my eyebrow to use as nest material, and I couldn't make funny faces for a week til Jonny got it back for me."_

Eddy gets their attention by throwing a mattress at them: "Quit blubberin about the swallows and help me find that chainsaw. I remember seein it around here somewhere." Eddy searches through the junk, and Ed joins him. They toss aside numerous relics from past episodes: the remains of the jawbreaker satellite from "Stop, Look, and Ed," the volcano vacuum from "3 Squares and an Ed," the rattle from "An Ed is Born," the dented stop sign from "Boo Haw Haw," and the giant booster shot from "This Won't Hurt an Ed."

"Fellows, this is a waste of time." Double-D says, getting up from under the mattress Eddy threw. "Even if there is a chainsaw here, the fact that it's here in the junkyard almost certainly means that-"

"Double-D!" Marie arrives and approaches Double-D.

"Oh um, h-h-hi Marie!" Double-D falls over and nervously backs up against a pile of junk. "W-W-Wha-What's all the st-stuff in your bag?"

"It's all my stuff cuz I left Mom's trailer." Marie answers. _"So can I stay at your place?"_

"... WHAT?!!" Double-D asks out loud, drawing Eddy's attention.

"Please, Double-D?!" Marie begs. "You're the only one I could think of. _And ya never told me what ya wanted to tell me before."_

_"Oh that, um... But, th-th-this, all this is so sudden and, and..."_ Double-D stutters nervously. Eddy sees this, and blows his top:

"THAT'S IT!!" Eddy zips towards Marie. "GET OUTTA HERE!!"

"BACK OFF!!" Marie yells back.

"YOU BACK OFF!!" Eddy yells over her: _"I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU ALWAYS CHASIN AND NAGGIN DOUBLE-D LIKE HE'S YOUR FUCKIN BOY TOY!!! HE HATES YA, SO LEAVE HIM ALONE!!! IT'S BEEN FIVE DAMN YEARS ALREADY, AND NONE OF US EDS ARE LOVIN YOU STUPID KANKERS BACK!!!"_

"EDDY, STOP!!!" Double-D yells.

"No I got this, Sockhead." Eddy continues: "SO LISTEN, MARIE!! HOW ABOUT YA GO FIND SOME OTHER BOY-"

Marie PUNCHES Eddy, sending him flying into a junkpile! Then she runs off.

"MARIE, WAIT!!" Double-D calls to Marie, but she already vanished. Eddy gets back up with something in his mouth. He spits it out, revealing it as the chainsaw he was looking for. Ed arrives.

"Was that you yelling, Eddy?" he asks.

"Never mind that, I found the chainsaw!" Eddy holds the chainsaw up for dramatic effect. "Yo Double-D, I found the..."

Eddy and Ed see that Double-D is gone.

* * *

At Rachel's house, Rachel gives the crying Marie a comforting hug on the sofa. Sean comes in from Rachel's kitchen with coffee for Rachel and Marie, putting it on the coffee table.

"Thank you, Sean." Rachel thanks. "Now go tell Bill and Dean that we're cancelling band practice today."

"Right." Sean leaves, and Rachel continues comforting Marie.

"Here, have some coffee." Rachel gives Marie a coffee mug and takes the other for herself.

"Thanks." Marie sips her coffee. "But what if it's true? _What if Double-D really does hate me?"_

"He would _never_ say such a thing." Rachel reasons. "Don't believe Eddy."

"No I mean, the way I've acted all these years." Marie remembers: _"I've been actin like a total skank-whore. It's just that, everytime I see Double-D, he just brings out my wild side and... and... I couldn't control myself and I kiss-attacked him."_ Marie cries again: _"I just abused him with kisses, and... What the fuck was I doin? I wish I could take it all back and tell him how I really feel. He's a smart, kind gentleman, and I love him. I really do. But I never told him that, not ONCE! And I still can't, cuz once I see those baby cheeks of his, I'll just go crazy and kiss him again. It's so hard to tell him, it hurts me so much. And the only way I could let it out is... vandalizing property with spray-paintings and tree carvings."_

Rachel sips her coffee: "It's ok, Marie. People can't control their hormones, so a girl like you lusting for a boy like Double-D is completely natural. But you should take that tip from your mom." she says: "You see, there's another reason Ursula doesn't want you in the streets. It's because she doesn't want you doing the same things she did."

".... What?" Marie asks.

_"Lee and I know Ursula's history from the conversations she had with my mom."_ Rachel explains: _"Ursula dropped out of high school for business on the streets, and so she was kicked out by her own mother. She went from place to place until Ballyhoo Butch's Magic Circus came along, and she joined to make something of herself. Butch was so impressed by Ursula's talents that they started making love to each other after each show. And before long, Ursula was pregnant with Lee. But Butch didn't want to 'waste money' on taking care of his child, so Ursula left him and his company because of his selfish greed. Then she met your father, Bobby 'Bubba' Robbins. Bubba traveled to compete in bodybuilding contests across the country, and along the way he took Ursula on 'rides to the moon.' He helped deliver Lee, helped raise her, then he impregnated Ursula with his own child: that's you, Marie. While Ursula was pregnant with you, she and Bubba settled in Orange Harbor and met my mom, Nikki Owens. But only weeks after moving in, Ursula learned that Bubba was cheating on her and having affairs with three other women. So she left him, moved in with my mom, and got a job at a seafood restaurant in the city as her mom taught her how to prepare excellent seafood, as you already know. With her job and my mom's help, Ursula was able to buy an apartment, and shortly afterwards, Rodney came into the restaurant she worked at. He just lost his job as a fisherman and thus couldn't pay for his home, but Ursula was attracted to him so she let him live with her. Rod eventually got another job diving for clams, and later helped deliver you. And while he and Ursula worked, Lee and you were left at my mom's place for babysitting. That's how WE met! Hehe, remember how Lee and I always picked on you when we were toddlers?!"_

"Yeah, you bitch!" Marie giggles as she remembers, feeling a little better.

"Now continuing..." Rachel continues: _"Ursula and Rod eventually got enough extra money to purchase a yacht. They went on love cruises together, and that's when they made their lovechild: May. Then we were all together!"_

Rachel and Marie look at an old picture sitting by Rachel's lamp. It's a picture of the Kankers, Rod, Rachel and her mom Nikki, taken during May's 2nd birthday party at Lake Garcia State Park (from BPS, with Orange Harbor's skyline in the background). Ursula still had both her eyes, her hair was longer, and she wore an aqua-green blouse and black pants. Rod still wore his usual sailor clothes. Nikki resembled Rachel with black hair and purple lipstick, but wore a yellow shirt with a white flower logo, blue jeans, and purple shoes. Young Rachel had her familiar white flower hairclip, but had normal pink lips and both her eyes were exposed. She wore an oversized purple sweater that covered her arms and legs, and black sneakers. Young Lee's eyes were visible, and she wore blue overalls over a white shirt with red polka-dots, and purple shoes. Lee and Rachel were each using an index finger to make bunny ears behind young Marie, who had her original brown hair color. Young Marie's hair was tied back in a short ponytail and covered her left eye even then, and she wore green skirtalls over a black shirt, zebra stockings, and black sneakers. Young May was being held in Ursula's arms. She had shorter hair with an oversized pink bow on it (the same bow she would later wear as a teenager). Her clothes were the same as in the cartoon series, except she had sandals instead of shoes.

"But unfortunately, we were only together for three-and-a-half years." Rachel continues: _"Rod turned to alcohol whenever he was stressed, such as when when he lost his fishing job. And after May's birth, he and Ursula could no longer maintain their yacht, so they gave it up. Rod never recovered from losing the yacht, so he drank behind Ursula's back and started taking her for granted. Their relationship was strained, then Rod couldn't take it anymore and he spent their savings on another yacht. He realized his mistake, started drinking again, and..."_

Marie gasps: _"So THAT'S why they were fighting that night..."_

**Flashback: The young Kankers hide behind their sofa while Ursula and Rod argue in the kitchen. Lee is covering May's mouth so she doesn't scream or cry.**

**_"HOW THE FUCK CAN YA DO SOMETHIN LIKE THAT, RODNEY?!!!"_ Ursula yells. _"WHAT ARE WE GONNA FALL BACK ON NOW?!!"_**

**_"IT WAS A STUPID MISTAKE, I'M SORRY!!!"_ Rod yells back. "I WON'T MAKE ANY MORE MISTAKES!!!"**

**"YOU ALWAYS SAY THAT, ROD!! BUT DRINKIN IS A MISTAKE, AND YA KEEP FUCKIN DRINKIN AND DRINKIN AND DRINKIN LIKE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW!!!"**

**_"DON'T START WITH ME, URSULA!!!"_ Rod drunkenly snaps, but Ursula retaliates: "NO I'M TIRED OF THIS SHIT, ROD!!! I'M FUCKIN TIRED OF YOUR LIES!!!....... _What are you doin?..."_**

**Lee peeks into the kitchen, and sees Rod's shadow smash his beer bottle and point it at Ursula's shadow: _"Just go away."_**

**_"Rod, you're drunk! Please, just drop the bottle!"_ Ursula says. _"I'm sorry for yellin!"_**

**_"Go AWAY!!"_ Rod approaches Ursula... _"Drop it, Rod!!"_ Ursula backs away. _"GO AWAY!!!"_ Rod screams, and Ursula yells _"PLEASE, JUST DROP THE-"_**

**_"THAT'S IT!!!"_ Rod lunges at Ursula! Lee freaks out!**

**"WHAT'S HAPPENING, LEE?!!" Marie asks as Ursula and Rod fight. May starts screaming, muffled by Lee.**

**"COME ON!!!" Lee takes Marie and May upstairs just as Rod tackles Ursula onto the sofa, and she smashes a lamp on him. Her daughters hide in their room. May cries in terror as she and her older sisters hear the violent fight downstairs. Then...**

**_"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!"_ Ursula's pain-filled scream is heard. _"AAAAHHH, AAAAAAAHHHH!!!! GET OUTTA HEEEEEERE!!!! GET OUTTA MY HOUSE, YOU FUCKIN SHIIIIIIT!!!!"_**

**We hear furious SMASHING going outside. Lee looks out the window, and sees Ursula chasing Rod away with a giant anchor she's wielding like a battle-axe. She stops on the street in front of the house, clutching her right eye in pain while Rod runs off.**

**_"YEAH RUN, YA FUCKIN DRUNK!!!! GO HAVE FUN WITH YOUR FLOATIN SLUT!!!!"_**

**Lee watches Ursula curse Rod while Marie comforts May, who repeatedly cries _"Daddy..."_**

**End Flashback**

_"With Rod gone, Ursula struggled to raise you three alone."_ Rachel says. _"My mom couldn't help for long because we moved away to live with my dad. And... I'm sure you know the rest, Marie..."_

**Marie remembers how Ursula (now wearing her eyepatch due to the scar Rod gave her) had to give up their apartment and settle for a trailer, which they would live in from then on.**

_"Ursula despised men after all she went through."_ Rachel says. _"And yet, she still kept some of Butch's, Bubba's and Rod's stuff as souvenirs. She may have told you and your sisters that she only kept your dads' stuff as reminders to spite them, but in truth, she still loved them. But she knew they were no good and she lamented that. Butch then wanted Lee, and Bubba wanted you, so Ursula fought them in court to keep you two."_

"And Rod?..." Marie asks.

_"....... He was claimed by the sea."_ Rachel grimly answers: _"But Ursula never told May because it would only hurt her more, and she kept you and Lee away from your fathers because they would treat you poorly. She realized that none of her hardships would've happened if she never turned to the streets as a teenager. Ursula doesn't want you doing the same because she doesn't want you to end up living the life she lived. She wants you to follow not her examples, but her advice. Do you understand now?"_

_".......... Yes......"_ Marie tearfully answers.

"Now regarding Double-D." Rachel continues: _"I know you loved him for five years, but never once telling him of your affection is... I don't even know how to describe that. But I'm gonna go get him and bring him here so you can tell him. Whether he loves you back or not, it's time for you to let your true feelings out."_

"Ok, Rachel." Marie complies while Rachel puts on her boots and jacket to go find Double-D. But then Marie sees the giant-squid van parked across the street, and sees the shadowy man step out from it...

A few blocks down, Rachel bumps into Double-D: "Double-D!"

"Rachel!" Double-D greets. "I know you're a friend of the Kankers, and Marie isn't at her trailer. So is she at your house?"

"Yes, she is." Rachel answers. "She already told me what happened earlier."

"Oh good, because... I wanted to... _tell her something..."_ Double-D whispers in Rachel's ear: _"Because four years ago, she and her sisters saved me, Ed and Eddy from an onslaught."_ **he flashes back to when the Kankers saved the Eds from the kids in BPS:** _"And even though I never showed it, I was so grateful, and I've secretly loved her ever since."_

_"So you love her, too?"_ Rachel asks. _"Well, that works out perfectly! Come with me and I'll bring you two together!"_

As Rachel and Double-D head back to Rachel's house, we hear Marie struggling inside!

"LEMME GO, ERRR!! RAAAGH!!!" Marie is carried out of Rachel's house by the shadowy man, revealed to be a morbidly obese man in his 40s. His face somewhat resembles Marie's, but with brown hair in a short ponytail and a five-o-clock shadow, and his legs are hidden under his fat folds! He wears a stretched-out, greenish-brown jacket over a white tanktop with his obese stomach bulging out, black-&-white sneakers, _and a red-&-white cap._

_"HELLO, MARIE!! I FINALLY GOTCHA!!!"_ the obese man shouts in joy.

_"HOW THE HELL DO YA KNOW MY NAME?!!"_ Marie asks, trying to free herself.

_"Cuz you're my daughter!"_ the man reveals himself as Bubba!!! Marie remembers Bubba's red-&-white cap from the picture of him inside Ursula's bedroom.

_"YOU'RE MY DAD?!!!"_ Marie asks in complete shock: "NO, I LEARNED ALL ABOUT YOU!! YOU CHEATED ON MOM!! LEMME GO, YA DIRTY CHEATER!!!"

"Sorry, _but you're livin with me now!"_ Bubba declares. Marie struggles against him, her hat falling off in the process. Double-D and Rachel see Bubba throw Marie into the back of his van with the screaming children, seen as three silhouettes and one screams "I GOTTA PEE!" Bubba closes it.

_"MARIE!!!"_ Double-D and Rachel scream, and Rachel identifies Bubba by his cap as he squeezes into his van to start it up.

_"BUBBA!!"_ Rachel throws Double-D into her car, starts it up, and speeds after Bubba, who sees her and Double-D in his rearview mirror. He pours axle grease onto the street, making Rachel's car spin out, hit a hydrant and soar through the air, destroying a tree and roof in the process. Rachel and Double-D jump out of her car as it crashes down into the candy store, scattering candy all over the street and children rush over to take it!

_"NO NO NO, MARIE!!!"_ Double-D panics, holding Marie's hat in his hands as he and Rachel watch Bubba drive away, passing a sign that says "WATERMELON FALLS: 8 MILES."

* * *

Ed ties the chainsaw to a hockey stick while Eddy starts the retro van: "Wait Eddy, Double-D doesn't like when others drive his van."

"We're his best buds; he won't mind." Eddy replies. "Now come on, _there's a giant tree at Watermelon Falls that accomodates a KAZILLION birds! Takin that tree down will be our first major victory in our campaign against those rats with wings!"_

* * *

Double-D and Rachel hurry to the Kanker trailer, where Lee and May greet them:

"Hey, guys!" May greets, but notices Double-D's and Rachel's frantic faces. "What's wrong?"

_"Girls, Bubba kidnapped Marie!!"_ Rachel answers, and Lee screams "WHAT?!!"

They scramble upstairs, and Lee and May barge into Ursula's room. Ursula is still napping in her hammock.

"MOM, MOM!! WAKE UP, WAKE UP!!!" Lee and May shake Ursula awake, and Ursula grabs their necks:

_"You two better have a good reason for disturbin my nap..."_

Moments later, Ursula rampages through the trailer park, her teeth sharp and her eye bloodshot with rage!!

"RRRAAAAAAAAAGHHH!!!" she throws and kicks numerous trailers around and rips apart another with her bare hands!! She picks up another trailer, cracks it like an egg, and everything inside it pours out like yolk!!

_"BUBBAAAAAAAAA!!!!"_ Ursula angrily pulls out the Park-n-Flush sign and throws it at several more trailers. Double-D, Lee, May and Rachel watch from behind a wrecked trailer:

_"Mom's anger makes me wet myself."_ May remarks as she watches her rampaging mom.

"EXCXUSE ME, MS. KANKER!!" Double-D gets Ursula's attention: _"We need to call the police!!"_

"That ain't happenin." Lee says.

"Leah's right." Ursula approaches Lee, May, Rachel and Double-D: _"We're goin to Watermelon Falls to rescue Marie, Kanker-style!!"_

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

Trivia: You how I gave "Nicole" as Marie's middle name? Well, Nicole was the name of the first girl I ever had a relationship with. But unfortunately, it only lasted for two months because of my paranoia. And remember when Ursula said Marie poked her eye out? If you look closely in "Jingle Jingle Jangle" when the Kankers' cracker explodes, you can see an eyepatch under Marie's hair! She had both her eyes in Season 1, so I think she poked her right one out some time afterwards.

Character Inspirations: As you've already read, I created Grampa Oak as Plank's grandfather. I got this idea from when Plank grew a branch in "Scrambled Ed." Whether he would grow into a tree or if he used to BE one, I'll leave that to your imagination. I based the Kankers' fathers on the trash cans the sisters used in "Honor Thy Ed," and Bubba now being obese is based on how fat Marie was in the deleted scene of "Take This Ed and Shove It." In other words, Marie got her fat genes from Bubba.

Sorry if this chapter didn't have enough lols, but I promise part 2 will have more!! Also, tell me your thoughts/feelings on the Kankers' past.


	20. My Ed for You pt 2

My fingers are screaming right now because I spent two whole days writing, editing, and proofreading this chapter. But it's complete and ready for reading and reviewing!!

* * *

Bubba drives his van down a forested road towards Watermelon Falls. In the back, Marie sits with three others. All their faces resemble Marie's more or less. The first is a boy about Marie's age, with blondish-brown hair, a green turtleneck sweater, blue trousers and red sneakers like Rolf's. The second is a girl that appears to be fourteen, sitting in the corner. She has black hair tied into a large bun, and wears a red jumper-dress over a yellow blouse, black leggings, yellow shoes, and red-rimmed glasses. The third is a small, plump boy who appears to be ten. He has brown hair and a bucktooth, and wears an orange jacket, baggy blue pants, white sneakers, and a red-&-white propeller cap. He drank numerous juice pouches (the discarded pouches lay all around him), and he's desperately holding in his pee.

The older boy, being voiceless, communicates to Marie via sign-language, which confuses her: "I don't know sign language."

"Ryan asked what's your name?" the girl tells Marie, as she understands sign-language.

"Marie." Marie introduces herself.

"I'm Sabrina." the girl introduces herself, then points to the sign-language boy: "This is Ryan." then she points to the little boy holding his pee: "And that's Charlie."

"DADDY, I GOTTA PEE!!" Charlie screams to Bubba through a small vent, but Bubba only answers "How many times do I gotta tell ya? WAIT!"

"Daddy?..." Marie asks after Charlie shouted it.

"The man driving this van kidnapped us. _ALL of us!!"_ Sabrina reveals: _"And he said he's our father."_

**Marie remembers when Rachel told her that Bubba cheated on Ursula with THREE other women!!**

_"We're... brothers and sisters!"_ Marie figures out: _"I know we're related. That man IS our dad. His name's Bubba, and he had affairs with our moms."_

Ryan uses angry sign-language, and Sabrina translates it: "So he was cheating on all our moms?"

"That's right, Ryan." Marie answers.

Ryan uses more sign-language, which Sabrina translates: "Ryan says he isn't going anywhere with that hippopotamus of a dad, and that we gotta stop him and put him behind bars." Then Sabrina talks for herself: "Well, I absolutely agree!"

"Yeah, I wanna get outta here so I can PEE!!" Charlie trembles, barely holding his pee now.

"That's what happens when you go overboard on juice." Sabrina says, but Marie sees this as an advantage: "Wait, I got an idea!"

Marie has Charlie nag Bubba: "DADDY, I REALLY GOTTA GO!!"

"CAN YA WAIT TIL WE GET TO TOWN?!" Bubba asks, annoyed.

"I CAN ONLY HOLD SO MUCH PEE!!" Charlie whines. "PLEASE?!!"

Bubba is so irritated by Charlie's begging that he bangs his head against his steering wheel, much to Marie's, Ryan's and Sabrina's entertainment!

"AAAH, IT'S COMING OUT!!!" Charlie screams.

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!!" Bubba pulls over, stopping his van at the field where Grampa Oak stands. Jonny watches from Grampa Oak's branches as Bubba lets his kids out from his van, and Charlie immediately zips to a bush to do his business.

"Ok kids, come here!" Bubba shows his other kids the Watermelon Falls skyline: _"That's your new home! Watermelon Falls!"_

While Bubba talks about Watermelon Falls, Marie, Ryan and Sabrina plot behind his back. Then Ryan and Sabrina approach Bubba, and Ryan starts using his sign language to confuse Bubba.

"... I don't get ya. Sabrina, what's he sayin?" Bubba asks.

"He's asking if we'll get seperate rooms to sleep in at your house." Sabrina translates. While she and Ryan distract Bubba with translated questions, Marie is letting the fuel out from Bubba's van.

Meanwhile Jonny, noticing Marie, asks "Plank, look! It's Marie Kanker! What's she doin here without her sisters, and why is she lettin the fuel out from that van?"

But Jonny's attention quickly shifts when he hears Grampa Oak: "Yes, Grampa Oak?......... WHAT?!!"

Jonny ascends to Grampa Oak's top branches, and sees trees being chopped down in the distance...

* * *

It's Eddy and Ed driving down the same forested road in Double-D's retro van. Ed has his foot on the pedal while Eddy sticks out the chainsaw on the hockey stick to chop down trees along the road.

"YEEEEHAW!! TAKE THAT, BIRDIES!!" Eddy shouts.

"Eddy, maybe Double-D's right." Ed reconsiders: "Look at all these trees. We'll never chop em all down."

"Just keep your foot on the pedal." Eddy retorts.

Some distance behind Ed and Eddy, the Kankers, Rachel and Double-D are on the move. Ursula is driving a pickup truck that's towing her trailer behind it, with Lee sitting shotgun. Double-D, May and Rachel are inside the trailer.

"Ugh, these cars are so irritatin. Leah, take the wheel." Ursula has Lee drive the pickup truck while she leaps on top of it and throws off her jacket, revealing a gray sweater with elbow-length sleeves and exposing her shoulders. The fishhooks Ursula used in "Lesson Number Ed" are attached to mechanisms strapped around above her wrists (three on each), and she uses hammerspace to pull out the giant anchor she used against Rod. The anchor is now connected to her belt by a long cord, allowing Ursula to wield it as a multi-purpose weapon.

"MAKE WAY, PEOPLE!!" Ursula swings her anchor like a flail to knock aside cars and other vehicles hindering their progress. Then she calls out "MAY, COME HERE!"

"Yes, Mom?" May comes up through the trailer's roof hatch and jumps over to Ursula.

"I'm gonna throw you skywards, then use the Kankerscope to spot Bubba's van." Ursula pulls the Kankerscope (it resembles a normal telescope, but has a mechanical eyeball instead of a magnifying lens) out of her pocket, gives it to May, then throws May skywards. In midair, May uses the Kankerscope's wide range, and sees numerous patches of forest, farmland, and suburbs. The wide range spots Grampa Oak a few miles away.

"Whoa, that tree's huge!" May then spots tiny specks in the field around Grampa Oak, so she turns a screw that shifts the Kankerscope to a longer, more focused range that allows her to see Bubba, his van, and Marie & her paternal siblings. May then falls back down and Ursula catches her: "I found em! _They're at this giant tree by the Falls."_

After passing a farm, they enter the forest, and their progress is hindered by the trees Eddy cut down. "How the hell did all these trees fall?" Lee asks in an annoyed tone.

Ursula clears out the trees with her anchor until they catch up to the retro van. Eddy is still chopping down trees, some of which hit the trailer, jarring it and knocking Double-D & Rachel off their feet.

_"That's Eddy and Ed!"_ Lee quickly recognizes the retro van's design, but Ursula yells "HEY, QUIT CHOPPIN DOWN THE TREES!"

HAHAHAHA!!" Eddy doesn't hear Ursula and keeps chopping down trees, Ursula swatting the trees aside with her anchor. Double-D peers through one of the trailer's windows and sees what's going on: "EDDY, ED!!"

"HEY, STUPID BOY! CUT IT OUT!" Ursula yells again and Lee beeps the horn, but Eddy's laughter still drowns them out. Double-D comes up through the trailer's ceiling hatch as a fed-up Ursula uses her anchor to catch the retro van's rear bumper, and she starts to pull it back.

"Huh?..." Ed and Eddy see Ursula pulling them back, so Eddy counters by flooring the retro van. Ursula goes "Errr..." and pulls harder, but Double-D stops her.

"Ms. Kanker, don't!_ I'll get through to them."_ Double-D puts on a helmet and cautiously slinks along the anchor's cord to reach his retro van's rear doors. But Eddy and Ed are unaware of this, and Eddy activates a hidden red "TURBO" button. Boosters emerge from the retro van's underside and it blasts off, causing the rear bumper to be torn off by Ursula's anchor. The van's enormous speed forces Double-D to go under and hang onto the rear axle, while the rear bumper flies off Ursula's anchor as she draws it back. The bumper smashes through the pickup truck's windshield, blinding Lee.

"AGH!" Lee loses control and goes off-road into the forest and down an incline. The pickup truck and trailer rock back-&-forth as they go down the jagged incline. May and Ursula are sent flying off, but Ursula grabs May and uses the fishhooks on one of her arms to grab onto a tree branch. Ursula shoots the fishhooks on her other arm to grab the trailer, but they don't reach far enough. Luckily, Rachel pops through the trailer's roof hatch to grab the hooks, stopping the trailer and pickup truck. But Ursula is starting to get stretched-out as the combined weight of the trailer and pickup truck is too much to hold on the incline's slanted surface. So she drops from the tree with May while still holding onto the trailer and pickup truck, and holds them in place with all her fishhooks. Lee and Rachel hurry up, grabbing the trailer to help Ursula pull it and the pickup truck back up the hill.

"Grrr..." Lee, Rachel and Ursula strain as they pull, then Ursula has May pull in her place and takes the Kankerscope for herself: "You girls get our home and truck back on the road. I'm goin ahead. _Bubba's ass is mine."_

Ursula proceeds ahead, using her fishhooks to swing between the trees.

* * *

Meanwhile, the retro van arrives at Grampa Oak's field, and Eddy leaps out with the chainsaw: "There it is, Ed! The giant tree I talked about!"

"Eddy, come on. I don't wanna hurt the swallows just for takin my eyebrow anymore. Let's just go home." Ed comes out, looking at Grampa Oak: "And that tree's huge! Not even I can take down a tree THAT big!"

"FINE, see if I care if your eyebrow gets stolen again next spring!" Eddy scoffs, approaching Grampa Oak: _"But I'm cuttin this lumber lord down, branch-by-branch."_

Ed then sees Jonny in Grampa Oak's branches, angrily glaring at Eddy. Knowing what Jonny will do, Ed figures to stop Eddy by giving him a hand:

_"Then allow me to give you a boost, Eddy!"_ Ed throws Eddy up into Grampa Oak's branches.

"Thanks!... Wait... _If Ed wasn't helpin me anymore, why did he just help me?"_ Eddy asks himself, but shrugs it off and revs the chainsaw. Then Plank whacks Eddy's face and rebounds back to Jonny!

"YOUR KILLING SPREE ENDS HERE!!" Jonny shouts angrily: "HOW DARE YOU TARNISH MOTHER NATURE'S ORDER!! _FIRST YOU KILLED PLANK'S PARENTS, AND FROM THAT, GRANDMA OAK DIED FROM BROKEN HEARTWOOD!! THEN YOU LAID WASTE TO PLANK'S AUNTS, UNCLES, NEPHEWS, NEICES, COUSINS, FRIENDS, AND GRAMPA OAK'S CHILDREN ON THE WAY OVER HERE!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YA DOIN NOW?!! YOU'RE TRYIN TO KILL GRAMPA OAK?!!"_

_"Grampa Oak?"_ Eddy asks, chuckling: "What, Plank has a whole family now? Hahaha-"

"SHUT UP!!" Jonny yells. "WE'RE TAKIN DOWN YOUR DEFORESTATING ASS!!"

Jonny jumps down towards Eddy and chases him around. Eddy dodges Jonny & Plank and hides among Grampa Oak's middle branches while Jonny searches the lower branches.

"Whew..." Eddy sighs with relief, then he sees Plank right next to him! "WHOA!!"

Jonny's foot pops out from a treehole and kicks Eddy in the mouth, sending him flying into the upper branches.

"Errr, wanna play like that, huh?" Eddy elbows Jonny when he tries grabbing him, then swings the chainsaw to ward Jonny off. _"Now listen, Nature Boy. We're friends and I don't wanna hurt ya, so just get outta my way so I can resume my business."_

_"Your business stops HERE!!"_ Jonny snaps his fingers to summon an army of squirrels from inside Grampa Oak, surprising Eddy! Jonny apologizes Grampa Oak: _"Sorry, Grampa Oak, but ya may be feelin a little sore after this......... I said ya may be feelin SORE!.............. I said SORE!!"_

Meanwhile, Double-D crawled out from under his retro van and sees Ryan and Sabrina, still distracting Bubba. Then Double-D spots Bubba's van. He heads over, and finds Marie and Charlie: "Marie!!"

"Double-D!!" Marie rushes to Double-D. _"What are you doin here?"_

_"Your mom, sisters, Rachel and I came to save you, but only I'm the only one who made it."_ Double-D explains.

"Where's the others?" Marie asks.

"I don't know. They fell off-course." Double-D answers. "But right now, we gotta get you away from your father and call the police."

_"But the other kidnappees are my siblings. I can't leave em behind."_ Marie says, backed up by Charlie's _"Yeah, we gotta stick together."_

_"Then I'll call for help while you stall Bubba."_ Double-D takes out his cell phone, but the battery is empty: "Crap, the battery's run dry."

"Then we gotta hold off Pop til Mom and the others come. _Charlie, ya got any more juice?"_ Marie asks, and Charlie takes out several more juice pouches from his pockets. _"Ok, drink em up so you can pee more and keep Bubba waitin."_

"Got it, big sis!" Charlie starts drinking up. Meanwhile, Bubba figures out what's going on: "YOU TWO ARE DISTRACTIN ME FROM SOMETHIN, AIN'T CHA?!"

_"Uh, of course not!"_ Sabrina lies. Ryan talks to her via sign-language, and she replies "GOOD IDEA!!"

Sabrina and Ryan run, but Bubba reaches cartoon-style to grab them and take them to his van. Double-D and Marie hide behind the opposite side while Charlie runs to do more pee. Bubba shouts "AND WHERE YOU GOIN?!"

"I GOTTA PEE AGAIN!" Charlie answers, but Bubba catches him and holds him by his jacket: "Sorry boy, but you could wait til we get to my place."

Bubba brings back Charlie, Ryan and Sabrina and throws them into his van. "Now where's Marie?" he searches for around, then hears sounds in the front of his van. He checks it out, discovers that his van is empty via the fuel meter, and sees Marie taking his spare fuel containers from under the passenger seat! "YOU!"

Thinking fast, Marie throws the fuel containers to Double-D and tells him to "GET RID OF EM!" just as Bubba grabs her, and Double-D rushes towards the field's edge, and Bubba yells "NO, MY FUEL!!"

Bubba drops Marie and chases after Double-D, but Double-D throws the containers off the field's edge and they disappear into the waterfall below. Bubba angrily grabs Double-D's neck, **and remembers him from when he and Rachel were chasing him in Rachel's car**: "Why'd ya follow me all this way, Scrawny? Hmm?..."

"SCRAWNY?!" Marie angrily responds. "YOU LET DOUBLE-D GO!"

"Double-D?..." Bubba looks at Double-D, who chokes out _"Run, Marie... Don't worry about me... Get the others to safety!..."_

"..... Hehe!.... Ahaha!...." Bubba chuckles. "What is this? You two know each other?"

"I SAID LET HIM GO!!" Marie yells. Bubba looks at Marie's reaction to him choking Double-D: _"No way, Marie! Do ya actually like Scrawny here? Is this skinny little wannabe hero your man?"_

"SHUT UP!!" Marie screams as Ryan, Sabrina and Charlie watch. "YES, I LIKE DOUBLE-D!! NO,_ I LOVE HIM!!! HE MEANS THE WORLD TO ME AND I'LL BEAT ANYONE WHO TOUCHES HIM TO A PULP!!! NOW LET HIM GO RIGHT NOW, OR ELSE-"_

_"Very well, then!"_ Bubba SLAMS Double-D to the ground, and Double-D bounces across the field and skids to a stop!! Marie GASPS and runs to Double-D's side while Ed, who watched the whole thing, gets angry too! Seeing Double-D's bruises, Marie explodes with rage!!

_"RRRAAAAAAHHH!!!"_ Marie lunges at Bubba, furiously punching and kicking him: _"YOU-DARE-HURT-MY-MAN!!!"_ with each word, Marie wails on Bubba with all her might, but he laughs it off. Ed quickly joins Marie in fighting Bubba, telling Bubba _"Nobody hurts my friends."_

Up in Grampa Oak's branches, Jonny directs the squirrels in throwing barrages of acorns at Eddy, who frantically leaps between the branches to dodge the incoming nuts but is inevitably pelted by some. Eventually, the squirrels seem to run out.

"HA!" Eddy laughs triumphantly, but then Jonny squirrel-speaks. He tells the squirrels to retreat into their holes...

... And they re-emerge with more acorns! Eddy mutters _"You gotta be kiddin me..."_

Down below, Ed's and Marie's attacks are repelled by Bubba's blubbery fat. Ed tries body-checking Bubba, only to be repelled again and he flies into Marie. They get up, and Bubba laughs "Ha, that all ya got?"

"MARIE, USE ME!!" Ed has Marie use him as a battering ram. Bubba laughs at this, but then... BAM!! Bubba is sent flying into Grampa Oak with so much force that Grampa Oak shakes, causing Eddy to lose his balance above and he unintentionally severs a large branch! The branch falls and hits Bubba on the head, dazing him and he stumbles about.

_"Go help Double-D; I'll finish off Pop."_ Marie tells Ed. She picks up the large branch Eddy severed, wields it like a club, and rushes towards the dazed Bubba. _"YAAAAAAHHH!!!"_

Marie puts all her strength into whacking Bubba around as hard as she possibly can, whacking him into the air and finishing by WHAMMING him into the ground so hard that only his legs stick out!!! Ryan, Sabrina, and Charlie cheer and hug Marie! Up above, Jonny was enraged by Eddy chopping off a branch.

_"YOU HURT GRAMPA OAK!!! GET HIM, PLANK!!!"_ Jonny throws Plank at Eddy. Eddy dodges but Plank ricochets between the branches like a pinball, forcing Eddy to dodge both him and the squirrels' acorns.

_"OK JONNY, YOU WIN!! I'M SORRY FOR THE DESTEFORATION OR WHATEVER IT'S CALLED!! HOW CAN I MAKE IT UP TO YOU AND PLANK?!!"_ Eddy surrenders too late, as Plank knocks the chainsaw out of his hands and the squirrels' acorns knock him out of the tree. Eddy falls, hits the ground head-first, and the squirrels continue pelting him with acorns until he's comlpetely buried! Meanwhile, Marie and her paternal siblings tend to Double-D, who was helped up by Ed.

"You ok, muffin?" Marie asks in worry. Double-D answers "No fractures, at least."

_"Oh, you'll all be feelin fractures..."_ Bubba angrily rises up and approaches them: _"I'M DONE PLAYIN!! I DIDN'T COME THIS FAR JUST TO BE BEATEN AND MADE A FOOL OUT OF BY LITTLE SHITS LIKE YOU!! SAY YOUR PR-"_

POW, Bubba is struck in the side by an anchor, sending him flying!! Ursula has arrived!!

"MOM!!" Marie shouts in relief. Ursula walks towards Bubba, her face red, her teeth sharp, and ears steaming.

_"U-Ursula!"_ Bubba looks up at Ursula: _"You.... haven't changed a bit since court."_

".... Too bad I can't say the same to you, Bubba the Hutt." Ursula replies. "How shameful. You really let yourself go,_ in more ways than one."_ she lifts Bubba on her anchor: _"Not only have ya become a lazy, miserable fatass, but you've become so desperate to win over Marie that ya plucked her right outta my territory to take her to your smelly old apartment in Watermelon Falls. And for what, I ask?"_

_"I helped give her LIFE, so she owes me favors!"_ Bubba answers.

_"Favors?.... I'll do YOU a favor! I'M GONNA SET YA STRAIGHT BY LETTIN ALL THE LARD OUTTA YOUR BODY!!"_ Ursula hurls Bubba into the air and proceeds to brutally beat him with her anchor!! Then Lee, May and Rachel arrive.

"GO MOM!!" May cheers for Ursula as she pummels Bubba.

"Is everyone alright?" Lee asks as she steps out of the pickup truck, then rushes up to Marie, Double-D, and Ed. But she also sees Marie's paternal siblings: "Who are they?"

_"They're my family."_ Marie introduces them: "My bro Ryan, my little sis Sabrina, and my baby bro Charlie!"

_"Bubba's our father, and he kidnapped all of us."_ Sabrina explains. Ryan uses sign-language, translated by Sabrina: "He said it's great to meet you all!"

_"Marie, I had no idea you had paternal siblings!"_ Lee hugs Marie, while May tells it all to Ursula while she beats Bubba!

_"SO YA KIDNAPPED ALL YOUR CHILDREN, HMM?!!"_ Ursula brutalizes Bubba even harder.

_"OH PLEASE STOP, I'M SORRY!!!"_ Bubba screams, and Ursula surprisingly stops.

"Don't worry, I forgive ya!" Ursula says. _"Because I still love ya!"_

_"R-Really?!..."_ Bubba asks.

_"Really!"_ Ursula answers sweetly. _"BUT THAT AIN'T GONNA STOP ME FROM BEATIN YA SENSELESS AND CALLIN FOR YOUR ARREST!!!"_

Ursula continues beating Bubba. Meanwhile, Jonny drops down to the pile of acorns Eddy was buried in. Eddy crawls out, battered and missing some teeth.

"So ya wanted to make it up to Plank and I, right?" Jonny asks.

"Y-Yeah..." Eddy answers. "Just tell me whatever I gotta do..._ and I'll do it..."_

Jonny listens to Plank, than says _"Plank wants you to plant seeds for every tree you chopped down, startin tomorrow morning. If not, we'll tell my parents, and they work in the DNR."_

_"Alright... Tomorrow morning, it is!..."_ Eddy then collapses. Then the clouds begin to clear, revealing a vivid reddish-orange sunset.

_"What a pretty sky!"_ Ed says as he and Double-D marvel at the sunset. Everyone else marvels at it, except Ursula who's beating up Bubba, and Eddy who's unconscious. Rachel approaches Double-D and points him to Marie.

_"It's time, Double-D!"_ Rachel tells him. Double-D takes a deep breath, then approaches Marie while the others watch.

_"M-M-Marie..."_ Double-D begins, taking another breath: _"I wanted to... s-say that... even though I've feared you all these years, I've come to see another part of you when you saved me on that day four years ago."_ as he talks, **Marie remembers how she, Lee and May saved the Eds in BPS**: _"That day transformed my opinion of you, and... I was eternally grateful! So what I wanted to tell you is... despite your rough-&-tough exterior, there's more to you than meets the eye! You truly are an affectionate, beautiful, spunky, and strong young lady with a heart of gold! So if you... wanted to ask if I love you back, the answer... is.... yes!"_

_"Awwwwwww!!"_ Ed, Rachel, Lee, May, Marie's paternal siblings, and even Jonny smile after hearing Double-D's confession. Marie herself is speechless. Then she starts rushing towards Double-D, who braces himself for another kiss attack...

... But instead, Marie joyfully hugs Double-D, causing him to tense up: _"Awwwww, Double-D!! That's the SWEETEST thing you ever said to me!!!"_

"Who woulda thought, huh Plank?!" Jonny asks Plank, then hears Grampa Oak: "Maybe you're right, Grampa Oak! _Perhaps it was all meant to be!_................... What?.......... Great idea! HEY, GUYS!"

Jonny goes to tell Double-D and Marie what Grampa Oak said while Ursula watches the two lovers hug, and she smiles! After hearing Grampa Oak's suggestion, Double-D and Marie comply, so...

"Alley-oop!" Ed picks up Double-D and Marie to throw them up into Grampa Oak's branches. They carefully walk along a larger branch, sit down with each other, and hold hands as they have a spectacular view of the sun setting over the Watermelon Falls skyline and the waterfall itself!

_"The sunset's beautiful, ain't it?"_ Marie asks sweetly, and Double-D answers _"Yeah!"_

Marie looks at Double-D: _"It's so romantic! It makes me wanna..."_

"... Kiss-attack me?" Double-D guesses, prompting Marie to punch him: "No! _I'm thinkin..."_ she nudges closer... _"Heeheehee!!!"_

Double-D realizes what she means. He mentally says _"Oh, my!"_ and nearly recoils, but he mentally tells himself _"No Eddward, it's now or never. Just don't think about it. Just do it..."_

Double-D finally musters up enough courage to turn back towards Marie. _Looking into each other's eyes, they smile, and draw their lips closer... closer... closer..._

_... And they finally share their first real kiss!!!_ Everyone cheers for them down below, then they part lips.

"Now that wasn't so bad, was it?!" Marie asks, blushing slightly.

"I... I actually _enjoyed_ it! And oh!..." Double-D takes out Marie's hat from inside his own: "I retrieved your hat!"

Ed looks on from below, happy for Double-D and Marie. Seeing them together, he figures it's time to open his own heart to May. So he approaches her...

_"Um, May..."_ Ed gets May's attention.

"Yes, Ed?!' May asks smiling, but is interrupted by...

_"May, go call the police so they can come and take Bubba away."_ Ursula tells May while dragging the unconscious Bubba towards their trailer. May quickly goes inside to do so, leaving Ed.

_"Come on, guys! Let's get ya back to your families!"_ Lee leads Ryan, Sabrina and Charlie into the trailer. Rachel follows them, and Ursula squeezes Bubba through the door to pull him inside. Ed collects the unconscious Eddy, puts him inside the retro van to recuperate, and joins Jonny in watching Double-D and Marie, who continue marveling at the sunset.

**The End!!!**

* * *

Trivia: Marie's paternal siblings Ryan, Sabrina, and Charlie are named after storyboard artists Ryan Hicks, Sabrina Alberghetti and Charlie Chien.

And again, I apologize if there weren't enough funny moments in this episode, but I'm a romantic at heart and I also wanted to highlight evironmentalism. It's very hard mixing all of those with humor, but I hope I did a good job. And also, the next episode will likely be late because me and my family are moving to a new apartment, and I gotta help with the heavy labor. That's it for now, and I wish you all a happy Thanksgiving!! Enjoy the turkey!!


	21. Green Around the Eds pt 1

My family and I have moved into our new house last Sunday and just re-connected our internet yesterday, so that's why I was late posting this. But episode 11 is here, so enjoy and review please!

* * *

_**Episode #11: Green Around the Eds**_

* * *

The Eds are partying with several others at a friend's house, and most are already either tipsy or totally trashed. Ed is recording stuff on his camcorder.

"Say somethin for the camera, Double-D!" Ed tells Double-D, who's eating a peach at the kitchen table. He's wearing a green shirt and blue shorts.

"..... Well..... To be perfectly honest, I _was_ having fun." Double-D says. "But now pretty much everyone is intoxicated and I'm trying to avoid that after what happened at my house. In fact, _I would like to leave now but Eddy won't let me."_

"Yo boys, the girls are gettin it!" Eddy calls from the living room. Ed goes while Double-D stays in the kitchen, and others are too drunk to care. In the living room, we see several girls drunkenly dancing around to the music. An amorous Steve and Christine (both from "Ed Stroke") are making out on the sofa. Then we see Eddy, Kevin, and Paul sitting on chairs, wearing tanktops. They watch Nazz, Jenna, and the girls dancing. Nazz is wearing a pink belly shirt, blue jeans, and the same sneakers. Jenna wears the same, but her belly shirt is yellow and she's barefoot. The third girl wears a tanktop and jeans, and she advances towards Paul to give him a lapdance.

"This is what I'm talkin bout!" Paul exclaims.

"WHOO, get it girls!" Eddy cheers on Nazz and Jenna as they roll their hips. Nazz dances towards Eddy and sits on him. He asks "Well, you gonna... give me a lapdance or somethin?"

"Heeheehee!" Nazz drunkenly giggles, and instead starts kissing Eddy until they lean over and fall off the chair, after which they continue chuckling on the floor. When Ed turns his cam to Kevin, he isn't there.

"Huh?" Ed then hears Kevin and Jenna in the kitchen, and sees them drinking booze out of the refrigerator.

"See what I mean?" Double-D tells Ed, indicating Kevin and Jenna.

"You're... You're such a douche, man." Kevin drunkenly tells Double-D while trying to keep his balance. Then Jenna grabs his arm to help him stay up, but she keeps her grip:

"Eheehee!... _Let's, let's go upstairs, baby!"_ Jenna takes Kevin towards the stairs.

_"Wh-What are we gonna do?"_ Kevin asks Jenna. She simpers _"Stuff!..."_

Jenna takes Kevin upstairs while Eddy, Nazz, Paul and the others cuddle on the sofa and floor.

Later, Jenna rushes back downstairs. She is sober, her hair is messy, and she's still a bit uncoordinated from drinking: _"Oh my God... Oh my God..."_

Jenna stumbles, knocks over a few things, and hits a wall. She recovers and reaches for her socks and sneakers to put them on. Then she puts on her hoodie to leave, asking "Double-D, could you take me home? I'm still a bit woozy."

"Sure." Double-D goes to put on his sweater as Jenna puts her hood up to go outside.

"Take me home too, Double-D." Nazz puts on her hoodie. While she does so, Eddy takes Ed's cam and goes up to Jenna with it.

"So Jenn, what did you and Kev do upstairs?" he asks, causing her to blush. "Come on, tell us!"

"Nothin, now get that camera outta my face and mind your own damn business." Jenna pushes Eddy away.

"Ok girls, I'm ready." Double-D calls, and Nazz & Jenna leave.

"Eddy, could I have my camera back now?" Ed asks, but Eddy answers "Just gimme a quick minute!" and goes upstairs to the bedroom. The shirtless Kevin lays in bed, completely wasted, covered in kiss marks, and drunkenly mumbling stuff about Jenna! _So Eddy starts recording..._

* * *

We see Kevin asleep in his room. The sun rises, revealing Kevin's room to have various sports-themed stuff. Then his alarm clock rings. Kevin wakes up, wearing his T-shirt and boxers for bed. He half-consciously turns his alarm clock off, gets up out of his bed, and fixes the sheets. He opens his closet and dresses into his usual clothes. He then puts his hat on and slides downstairs to his kitchen. He eats breakfast with his father, who resembles him but is huskier, and has combed reddish-brown hair and a cleft-chin. He wears a white shirt, blue jeans, and black shoes.

After breakfast, Kevin brushes his teeth and compliments himself in the mirror: "Yeah Kev, you are sexy as hell!"

"Kevin, stop fooling around. I gotta get ready for work." his dad tells him from outside the bathroom door.

"Oh, alright. Geez..." Kevin leaves the bathroom. "It's all yours, Dad."

Kevin grabs his school stuff and messily shoves it into his backpack. Then he goes to the bus stop, and his friends start giggling upon seeing him!

"What's so funny?" Kevin asks, but his friends only continue giggling, and Eddy suppresses a full-blown laugh. While riding the bus to school, Kevin notices more people giggling and mumbling his name while Jenna hides herself from Kevin...

* * *

In the school hallways, people giggle and gossip about Kevin who's going through his locker. By now, he's really agitated by everyone laughing and talking about him.

"Ok, what's up with you guys talkin about me?" he asks his peers. "What did I do?"

Rolf chants: _"Kevin boy and Jenn girl, up until three!"_

_"F-U-C-K-I-N-G!!"_ Paul finishes, and everyone laughs. Meanwhile, Jenna hides herself in the girls' bathroom, blushing in embarassment while Nazz comforts her.

"Huh? _What the hell are you guys talkin about?"_ Kevin asks in confusion.

_"You said you wanted to fuck Baby Bonita, dawg!"_ Paul answers while Ed bursts into laughter on the floor! Kevin glares at him, and grabs his ear.

_"Did you record somethin, douche?"_ Kevin asks in a demanding tone.

"No, hahahaha! I didn't record anything, honest!" Ed laughingly answers. _"But Eddy did!"_

Ed takes his camcorder out from his backpack to show Kevin what Eddy recorded:

**Video Recording: Eddy is recording the intoxicated and kiss-covered Kevin, who rants about Jenna!**

**_"Jenn..... Ohhh, Jenn..."_ Kevin drunkenly mumbles: _"Oh my God, Jenn... That was sooooo awesome!... You... are... soooooooo sexy!... Oh God, you are sexy as fuck, Jenn! And you're such a naughty, naaaaaauuughty girl!... You make me wanna... wanna... Ohhh, I just wanna fuck you, babe!..."_**

**"Geeheeheehee!..." Eddy giggles. "This is gold! _Go on, Kev, babble on!"_**

**Kevin slowly turns to Eddy: _"... Who are you?"_**

**_"Uhhh... This is your conscience speaking."_ Eddy makes up an answer. _"How was Jenn?"_**

**_"... She kicked aaasssss!"_ Kevin answers and mumbles on about Jenna: _"Everythin about her just... just screams sexy!... Her silky smooth hair is perrrrrfect, man!... Her... Her face is just beeeeeaaauuutiful, ohhhh my God man! And the whole time she looked at me with her hazel eyes, kissin me, callin me her baby boy, ehehehe, and her accent made it even more sexy!... And her body... Ahhhhh, I wanna tear her apart!... Her soft caramel-brown skin... and her boobs, man! Her boobs are perfect!... I-I grabbed them and I was like 'Ohhhhhhhh my fuckin God, this is sooooooo fuckin awwwesome!' Then I looked at her bellybutton ring, and... and that just turned me on even more! Then.... there was that sweeeeeet ass of hers! Soooo happy I got to grab that ass!..... Goddamn, I wanted to ram her in the ass so hard, but then she... she just... just got up and left for... God knows why... No goodbye or nothin. It sucked... But I can't be mad at Jenn. She's just sooo fuckin hot, man! I wanna fuck her, man! Just wanna fuck her, fuck her, f-f-f-"_**

**Kevin suddenly pukes onto the floor. End Video**

Kevin just stares with a WTF expression on his face, then Ed says "Eddy posted it all over the web!"

Everyone laughs while Kevin angrily goes to Eddy, who closed his locker.

_"Some friend YOU are, Eddy!"_ Kevin snaps.

"Oh! You found out, Kev?" Eddy holds in a chuckle. Kevin grabs him by the shirt.

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU RECORD ME DRUNK?!" Kevin asks. _"BECAUSE OF YOU, I'M A LAUGHINGSTOCK!!"_

"Laughingstock? _You say that like you never pulled shit on me."_ Eddy retaliates.

"I know, BUT NEVER ONLINE!!" Kevin yells.

"What's wrong with a little Youtube lulz?" Eddy asks. "It'll all pass in a week!"

"Lulz? _That's _your reason?" Kevin asks in disgust, then the bell rings. _"I'll show you lulz. You better watch your back."_

Kevin goes to class and Eddy does the same, uttering "Heh, I wonder what he has in store!"

* * *

During lunch, the boys are eating together when Double-D comes and says "Ed, Eddy! Will you two come with me for a moment?"

Ed and Eddy go with Double-D. With them gone, Kevin squeezes toothpaste into Eddy's pasta and mixes it in. But unknown to him, Eddy saw this this through the corner of his eye.

"Kevin, come here! _Jenn wants to talk to you!"_ Nazz calls Kevin over to her and Jenna's table. While Kevin goes, the Eds return to their table and Eddy switches his and Kevin's pasta! Meanwhile, Jenna sends Kevin flying back to his table, and he now has a bright red slap mark on his face.

"THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO CAME ONTO ME!" Kevin yells at Jenna before returning to his meal. He takes a bite.... and spits it up on the floor while the other boys laugh! Ed dips his finger into Kevin's pasta to taste it: ".... Minty!"

* * *

In Algebra class, the teacher briefly leaves the room. Eddy is asleep from boredom, so Kevin takes the oppurtunity to draw the teacher on the blackboard and writes a name for it: "Douchey McAsshole, by Eddy McGee." Then he returns to his chair, turning his hat over his eyes as he relaxes. Seeing this, Eddy whispers into Ed's ear...

Later, when the teacher returns... "DETENTION FOR YOU, KEVIN!!" the teacher yells at Kevin, waking him from his relaxation. He shows Kevin the drawing, but it the writing was changed to "Douchey McAsshole, by Kevin Dorn." Kevin angrily snaps his fingers as he was foiled again, and looks at Eddy and Ed who hi-five each other. Seeing the chalk in Ed's hand, Kevin realizes that Eddy used Ed to change the writing on the blackboard to resemble Kevin's (like he did with the sticky notes in "Momma's Little Ed").

* * *

Kevin is facepalming in frustration as he walks down the hallway between classes. Then he sees Eddy standing by a vending machine, his back facing Kevin. Seeing this as another chance for revenge, Kevin crawls up behind Eddy.

"GOTCHA!" Kevin pulls down Eddy's pants, only to see a face sticking its tongue at Kevin, making him jump up. Then Eddy's head turns around 180 degrees, revealing that it's a fake with the words "LOOK" and "DOWN" in its eyes. Kevin looks down...

... And discovers that he's been pantsed by Eddy!

_"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"_ everyone laughs at Kevin, especially Eddy! Even Principal Antonucci, who's watching from the camera room, can't hold a chuckle. But then he snaps himself out of it: "Agh, I gotta get over there and give Eddy detention."

Everyone is still laughing at Kevin, except Double-D, Nazz and Jenna who are disgusted.

_"WAHAHAHA, WHAT A SAP!!"_ Eddy laughs so hard that he sheds tears, while Kevin reddens with anger! But before he can do anything, Jenna grabs Eddy by his hairs.

_"FUCKTARD!!"_ Jenna spins Eddy around, throws him off-screen down the hallway, and we hear him crash.

"Gee, thanks Jenn!" Kevin thanks as he pulls his pants up. Jenna replies "No problem! _Nobody pantses my Kev-agh... No, what I meant to say was that not even an immature jerk like you deserves that kind of crap from Eddy."_

Jenna walks off, then Nazz talks into Kevin's ear: _"But Kevin, you should stop tryin to get even with Eddy for everytime he pranked you. Otherwise, this is gonna keep goin on."_

Upon hearing this, Kevin makes a tiny but devilish smirk... _"No, I got somethin better than even!..."_

* * *

After school, Eddy and Kevin are in detention with a few others, including Paul who's reading a porn magazine (he got detention presumably due to his pervy nature).

"Hey Eddy." Kevin calls.

"Yeah, Kev?" Eddy turns to Kevin.

"I just wanted to say you got the best of me today. You beat me!" Kevin says. _"So I'll get ya some donuts and we'll call a truce! What do you say?"_

"Donuts, hmm?..." Eddy thinks about it... "Make sure they're from Dan's Donuts, and we got a deal!"

_"Of course!"_ Kevin promises. Then the detention teacher comes in, and Paul hides his magazine as the teacher hands down the boys' detention work. They start working.

**To be Continued...**

* * *

Trivia: Dan's Donuts is named after Dan Sioui, one of the show's producers.

The next chapter may also be late, because of my sister's sweet sixteen. But anyways, review and I'll see ya later!


	22. Green Around the Eds pt 2

You know how I named the city shown in BPS as "Citrus Harbor?" Well, I renamed it "Orange Harbor" so it sticks with one fruit like my other towns and cities.

Oh, and I got ONE HUNDRED REVIEWS!!! CELEBRATION (nah, just kidding)!!! Anyway, here's chapter twenty-two! Enjoy and review!!

* * *

The next morning, Eddy meets up with the other boys at the bus stop. Kevin has the Dan's Donuts box, but he's passing out some donuts to the others.

"KEV, YOU SAID THOSE WERE FOR ME!" Eddy shouts as he runs over.

"Chill, man. I didn't say I was givin you an entire box." Kevin replies as he hands donuts to the other boys.

"Rolf hasn't had tasted such good snacks since Mama's botargo pastries!" Rolf comments.

"Deeeeeelish!" Ed comments while enjoying his donuts. Only three donuts are left for Eddy.

"Well, here ya go!" Kevin gives the box to Eddy so he can have the last three donuts.

"... Hymph." Eddy takes the box and eats the donuts as they ride the school bus.

"Hey Eddy, were those good?" asks Nazz, who's sitting in front of Eddy with Jenna.

"Of course, Dan's are the best!" Eddy finishes his last donut, causing Nazz to frown.

"Oh... I was gonna ask for that last one, but oh well." Nazz returns to chatting with Jenna, gossiping and giggling.

* * *

In algebra class, Eddy is doing classwork when his lips start itching. He's unfazed at first, but as time passes, he starts scratching his lips more frequently and vigorously.

"Argh!" Eddy rubs his face against his desk to releive the itching, but it doesn't help.

* * *

Eddy continues scratching his now-pink lips in history class, and the itching is now interfering with his ability to focus on his classwork. He then raises his hand: "Mr. G, can I go to the nurse?"

Mr. G gives Eddy a pass to go to the nurse's office. But en route...

_"Ohhhh God!"_ Eddy runs into the bathroom, and we hear him screaming on the toilet. Kevin and Rolf are walking by the bathroom when they hear Eddy screaming inside. They open the door, and hear Eddy doing diarrhea!

_"Dude, Eddy's doin diarrhea!"_ Kevin points out, chuckling.

"Blagh!" Rolf recoils and holds his nose. "It smells as foul as the jelly-filled spaces between Nano's toes, man."

* * *

Later in gym class, Ed, Kevin, Rolf and Paul are teaching Double-D how to play basketball:

"Like this, DD!" Paul shows Double-D how to shoot the ball into the hoop. "Now you try."

Paul passes the ball to Double-D. Double-D shoots, but misses horribly. Kevin and Rolf laugh.

"That was so uncoordinated, hahaha!" Kevin laughs, grabbing the ball and easily making a hoop.

"Don't worry, Double-D." Ed puts his arm around Double-D. "You're still a smarty-pants!"

"That won't assist me here, Ed." Double-D sulks.

"Here, try again man." Paul passes the ball to Double-D again for another try at the hoop.

_"Focus, Eddward. Focus."_ Double-D readies himself, and shoots again. He misses gain, and the ball falls towards and hits Eddy as he enters the gym, knocking him down. "SORRY, EDDY!"

Eddy gets up uninjured, but now his lips are red and swollen!

"Eddy, what happened to your lips?" Double-D asks, approaching Eddy.

"Better stay away from him. _It might me contagious."_ Kevin stops Double-D from getting any closer to Eddy.

"Shut up, the nurse said I just got some bad sores." Eddy scoffs at Kevin, then he scratches his itchy lips.

"Those some pretty bad-lookin sores, McMoney." Paul says.

"Paul's right, Eddy." Double-D says. _"Those look too severe to be cold sores._ _And you shouldn't be scratching them, either."_

"Hey, the nurse said they're cold sores, and nurses are certified professionals, alright." Eddy gruffly dismisses Double-D. "Let's continue the plot and play some basketball, boys."

* * *

After gym, the boys go into their locker room to shower, during which they complain about Ed's horrid armpit odor.

_"Good lord, Ed! Your armpit odor's just FETID!"_ Double-D complains as he and the other boys start drying themselves.

"It's just my manly stench, ok!" Ed defensively replies before smelling his armpits with joy.

"Yeah right, Armpiticus. THIS is manly!" Eddy shows his body spray, sprays it onto himself, and poses: "The ladies love it!"

_"Eddy, what's that red thing on you?"_ Kevin points out a round red spot on Eddy's shoulderblade, surprising Eddy.

"What red thing?" Eddy asks in shock. "Is it a rash or somethin? Show me." Eddy looks and feels around for the red spot, but Kevin turns him around to show his red spot to the boys.

_"Right there."_ Kevin points to Eddy's red spot. Double-D checks it out...

"It appears to be some type of sore." he says.

"Great!" Eddy sarcastically exclaims: "First I got diarrhea, then my lips swell up, and now I got... AH!" Eddy discovers several more sores on his body! "WHAT'S GOIN ON!? I'M BREAKIN OUT!!"

_"Rolf no longer feels safe in the presence of the mutating Ed boy. WE MUST EVACUATE BEFORE THE TRANSFORMATION COMPLETES!!"_ Rolf takes out Bobo (the giant clam from "It Came from Outer Ed") from inside his gym locker, shoves the boys and himself inside Bobo, sticks his legs out, and runs out through a wall!

* * *

After school, Eddy's parents wait outside their son's bedroom. Both are heavyset, big-boned, and wear rings on their fingers. The mother more closely resembles Eddy, and she has curly reddish-brown hair and red lipstick. She wears a pink housedress with a white apron, low-heeled red shoes, and gold earrings. The father more closely resembles his older son (Eddy's bro), and he has a brown toupee and moustache, plus some chin hairs. He wears a buttoned shirt with a green-checkered pattern, blue jeans, brown shoes, and a wristwatch.

"Is everythin alright in there?" Eddy's mom asks in worry.

"We're coming out now." Double-D answers from inside Eddy's room, and he comes out with Eddy, who's quarantined inside a plastic bubble.

"Mr. and Mrs. McGee, I have have quarantined your son because I conducted research on the symptoms he has shown today, _and I'm afraid he has...."_ Double-D swallows: _"........................ the fatal Kubat's Syndrome."_

Eddy's parents gasp, and Eddy himself screams _"FATAL?!! YOU DIDN'T TELL ME IT WAS FATAL!!!"_

_"OH MY GOD, MY POOR BABY!!!"_ Eddy's mom screams and runs off.

"HONEY, WAIT!" Eddy's dad goes to stop his hysterical wife."

"DOUBLE-D, THERE'S GOTTA BE A CURE FOR KLUCKETT'S SYNDROME OR WHATEVER-IT'S-CALLED!!" Eddy panics.

"No worries, Eddy! I'm hopeful that there's a cure." Double-D says. "I'll do everything in my power to look one up."

"You gotta hurry, man! _I don't wanna die!"_ Eddy panics, and starts sweating heavily.

_"Oh, no..."_ Double-D utters in horror: _"Heavy sweating is an advanced symptom!"_

Upon hearing this, Eddy freaks out and starts hyperventilating!

_"HYPERVENTILATION IS ANOTHER ADVANCED SYMPTOM!!"_ Double-D shouts in panic. _"STAY HERE!! I'LL GO LOOK UP A CURE!!"_

Double-D hurries away to find a cure, leaving Eddy alone. After a while...

"Oh, shit. I gotta use the bathroom." Eddy holds in his diarrhea as he makes his way up to the bathroom. But the door is closed, and he cannot open it because of the bubble he's quarantined in: "Agh, stupid bubble. MOM, DAD! COULD ONE OF YOU OPEN THIS DOOR AND LET ME OUTTA THIS BUBBLE?! I GOTTA TAKE A CRAP!"

There is no response........ "Mom?..... Dad?..... HELLO?!" Eddy calls out, but there's still no response. So Eddy tries forcing his way through the bathroom door, but this causes the bubble he's in to bounce off and ricochet around the upstairs hallway.

'WHOA!" Eddy's bubble rolls downstairs, picking up enough speed to fly through the front door, flattening Ed who was knocking on the other side. "AAAH!" Eddy bounces off the door, off his mailbox and onto Jonny's house's roof. From there, Eddy's bubble bounces around the cul-de-sac and towards Jimmy, who's coming up the sidewalk.

"AAAAAHHH!!" Jimmy runs screaming as Eddy's bubble tumbles after him. In the lane, Kyle is playing a guitar song for Nazz and Jenna.

"Aww Kyle, you should totally record an album when you get older!" Jenna praises.

"Really, Jenn?!" Kyle asks. "Thanks!"

Then they hear Jimmy's screams...

"RUNAWAY BUBBLE!! RUNAWAY BUBBLE!!" Jimmy runs down the lane. Eddy's bubble ricochets off a pole and into the lane.

"NOT COOL, NOT COOL!!" Nazz runs, followed by Jenna, Kyle and Jimmy. Jimmy is flattened under Eddy's bubble, then it catches Kyle and his guitar. Jimmy, Kyle and his guitar stick to Eddy's bubble as it gains on Nazz and Jenna. Jenna manages to outrun the bubble for a while as Nazz gets caught, but seconds later, Jenna is caught too. They roll out of the lane and onto the street passing the shops (including Dan's Donuts).

"AAAAAHHH!!" everyone screams as they see a car coming their way. It smacks into Eddy's bubble, sending it skywards and over a passing helicopter. As Eddy's bubble begins to fall back down towards the ground, it hits the helicopter's tail-blade, popping it!

_"AAAAAAAHHHH!!!"_ everyone falls back down into the woods, where Jimmy and Jenna land in the creek. Kyle hits the ground with his guitar, and Nazz is falling towards him.

_"WAIT!"_ Kyle halts Nazz in midair so he can move his beloved guitar out of the way. "Ok, go ahead and I'll cushion your fall."

Nazz resumes her fall and lands on Kyle, cushioning her landing. And finally, Eddy lands inside a tree, but continues falling down the branches until one snags his shirt and he hangs from it.

"IS EVERYONE ALRIGHT?!!" Double-D and Ed arrive, and Ed helps Jimmy and Jenna out of the creek.

"I'm ok, _but my guitar's strings broke!!"_ Kyle frantically runs off to fix his guitar strings. Double-D approaches the hanging Eddy with a grim look on his face.

"I don't like that look on your face, Double-D." Eddy utters. _"You don't mean..."_

_"There's no cure for Kubat's Syndrome, Eddy."_ Double-D tells Eddy, shedding a tear: _"You have twenty-four hours at most."_

Hearing this, Eddy turns pale, and Nazz, Ed, Jenna and Jimmy gasp in shock!!

* * *

The next morning, everyone in the cul-de-sacs have gathered around Eddy's house. The pale-skinned, baggy-eyed Eddy is laying in his bed with full covers. His parents, Ed, and Double-D are at his side.

_"This... isn't... fair..."_ Ed sniffles, blowing into a tissue.

_"Eddy, you're our boy and we love you."_ Eddy's dad says.

_"We love you always."_ Eddy's mom sobs.

_"Eddy, I just... wanted to say that..."_ Double-D sniffles, and starts crying. _"You're the best friend I've ever had along with Ed."_ then he cries more heavily: _"Ed, gimme a tissue please!"_

Eddy's dad goes to bring the others into Eddy's room, with the girls and Jimmy shedding tears. Everyone except Kevin is present.

_"Thank you so much for being here, guys!"_ Eddy thanks. _"But before I go on... I wanna say... I love you guys and... I'm sorry for all the times I've acted like a total asshole... and... Hey wait, where's Kevin?"_

The others look around for Kevin, then Eddy's dad says "Here he comes."

Kevin comes in, hugs the crying Jenna & Nazz, and joins them and the others to see Eddy one last time.

_"Ok... Now that everyone's here, I want you all to enjoy life to the fullest. Now if any of you got anything to say to me... come up and say it."_ Eddy says.

"I'll go first." Kevin walks up to Eddy's side: _"Eddy... I remember how we always hated each other when we were younger. I always called you a dork, and you always retaliated with 'Shovel Chin.'"_ Kevin chuckles with the others, then continues _"I take back everytime I ever called you Dorky... and Douchey... And I'm sorry for everytime I pounded you. Man, it feels as if it all happened yesterday. We used to be enemies, but now we're friends. And as friends, I just have one more thing to tell you..."_

_"... What is it?..."_ Eddy asks.

_".......... GOTCHAAAAAAA!!!"_ Kevin LAUGHS, then everyone else start laughing at Eddy!!

_"Huh?..."_ Eddy looks around at everyone laughing at him, even his fellow Eds and parents!! Kevin rolls around on the floor in laughter!! Eddy is confused: _"WHAT IS THIS?!!"_

_"You were never really dying, Eddy!"_ Double-D chuckles.

"........ Then what about the symptoms?" Eddy asks in confusion.

"Think about it, Eddy!" Kevin tells him: _"Diarrhea, itchy lips!..."_

Eddy processes this and realizes.... _"THE DONUTS!!"_

_"Yeah! I knew you're a fool for Dan's, so I laced your donuts with laxatives and itching powder!"_ Kevin reveals.

"Then why didn't the other boys get diarrhea or itchy lips?" Eddy asks.

"Didn't you hear me? _I laced YOUR donuts, as in ONLY yours!"_ Kevin answers.

"How about the sores?" Eddy asks.

"Dude, those are slices of pepperoni! _I put em on ya when we were showerin after gym class!"_ Kevin answers, flashing back to the showers: **Kevin put the first pepperoni on Eddy's shoulderblade while they were coming out of the gym showers, then he put on the rest while showing Eddy's first "sore" to the other boys!**

"NO WAY!!" Eddy is dumbfounded. _"But... the sweating, and the heavy breathing..."_

"Heavy sweating and hyperventilation are regular symptoms of a panic attack, Eddy!" Double-D explains: _"I instilled panic into you by declaring Kubat's Syndrome as a fatal disease, and that the sweating and hyperventilating were advanced symptoms_!"

_"What?... YOU KNEW ABOUT ALL THIS?!!"_ Eddy asks angrily.

_"I helped Kevin fool you because you never gave me the money you promised me after building that dummy for you."_ **Double-D refers to the Eddy dummy used to fool Kevin in the previous chapter, which led to Kevin being pantsed by Eddy.**

_"In fact, we were ALL in on it, your parents included!"_ Double-D reveals. _"Kevin spearheaded the entire charade! The rest of us played the act of panic and grieving to ensure you believed yourself to be expiring!_ And by the way, Kubat's Syndrome isn't real!!"

"WE FOOLED YOU ALL ALONG, EDDY!!" Eddy's dad laughs along with everyone else, while Ed mocks "HELP ME, I'M DYING!!"

Eddy jumps out of bed, fuming at Kevin: _"YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!"_

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! KARMA SUCKS, DON'T IT?!" Kevin asks, then adds "And that's not all! _Check out my Youtube later on!"_

* * *

Later on, after all the laughing ended, the Eds log into Eddy's computer and go to Kevin's Youtube channel (his Youtube name is CaptainKev).

"Ok, I'm checkin out his new vid." Eddy clicks on Kevin's newest video, named "AAAAARRRGH!!!!"

The Eds watch....... and Eddy _SCREAMS_ as the video reveals that **Kevin recorded Eddy from above while he was doing diarrhea in the school bathroom (thanks to the laxatives)! Eddy screamed "AAAAARRRGH!!!!" as he did diarrhea,** hence the video's name! What's more, the video already has over a million views!!!

"WHAT THE FUCK?!!" Eddy screams. _"MOTHERFUCKER!! HE WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS!!"_

"How will you get back at him?" Ed asks.

"Don't know, BUT I'LL THINK OF SOMETHIN!" Eddy walks off while facepalming.

**The End!!!**

* * *

Trivia: Kubat's Syndrome is named after one of the series writers, Mike Kubat.

By the way, I'm making a prequel to the Teen Series called "Ed, Edd n Eddy: Rise of the Gourd," which is set right after BPS. The first chapter will be released during Christmas break, but subsequent chapters will be released randomly. Also, stay tuned for my Christmas special next week!


	23. EEnE's Holly Jolly Holiday pt 1

Sorry this chapter was late, but I had a few family problems to deal with. Here's the Christmas Special, and it has all the characters and their families in it, so it may get confusing at some parts due to all the names. But remember, the families are NOT major characters. I put them into this episode because Christmas is about being with family, so the name confusion will only be in this episode.

Now enjoy the Christmas Special, everyone!! And thanks to Neo H.B.B. Sam for providing this episode's basic plotline.

* * *

A snowflake descends from the white winter sky, followed by another... and another... and many, many more. An EEnE version of "Joy to the World" plays as the snowflakes fall down towards the snowy streets of Peach Creek, which are decked out for Christmas. Alto vocals sing the song as letter-shaped snowflakes fall together and form the episode title:

* * *

**_Ed, Edd n Eddy's Holly Jolly Holiday!!!_**

* * *

The song continues as the camera pans to the Citrus Valley Mall near Peach Creek. Inside, tons of people are Christmas shopping. As they do so, the person singing "Joy to the World" is revealed to be Rachel, singing on a small circular stage in the mall with a few backup singers. She's wearing her gray jacket, a purple-striped scarf, and a Santa hat. People have gathered around to hear her sing, including Double-D, Eddy, the Kankers (including their mom Ursula, who has a gray winter coat), and Rachel's mom Nikki. She looks mostly the same as in her picture cameo in "My Ed for You," but now her lips are pink and her hair is tied into a bun. She wears a brown coat, black pants and boots, and the same scarf as her daughter Rachel, who has has finished singing.

"WHOOOOO!!!" everyone around Rachel cheers, while Nikki proudly comments _"That's my girl!"_

"Isn't it wonderful, Eddy?! The holidays are here again! _The season of joy and great giving, a time much adored, has come once again!"_ Double-D says.

"Don't forget presents!" Eddy adds, causing Double-D to glare at him. Eddy then says "Chill, Sockhead; I'm not the same greedy hog as before."

"HE'S COMING AGAIN!! HE'S COMING!!" Ed merrily bounds towards his fellow Eds, grabbing them and dancing around the mall with them, knocking over people and stands in the process. "It's Christmas Eve, guys, and that means..." he breaks into song: _"SANTA'S COMIN, TONIGHT TONIGHT!! SANTA'S COMIN TONIGHT!!"_

Nearby people laugh at Ed, and one laughs "What a joke!"

A guy walks up to Ed, and asks "Dude, you're like what, sixteen or seventeen. And you STILL believe in Santa Claus?"

"Believe?..... I SAW Santa!" Ed answers, which earns him even more laughs. Double-D and Eddy just watch, unsure if they should say something.

"HEY, LOOK! IT'S SANTA!" a girl points at a Santa standee, and Ed leaps onto it with instintive joy, only to discover that it's a fake. Everyone laughs, and a guy tells Ed "Grow up, buddy. _Santa ain't real. He's nothin but childrens' folklore."_

"YOU'RE WRONG!!" Ed yells. "SANTA'S REAL!! MY FRIENDS AND I SAW HIM AND HIS REINDEER ONCE," he grabs Double-D and Eddy, "AND HE GAVE US GIFTS!!_ Right, guys?!"_

".......... Uhhhh....." Double-D and Eddy hesitate.

"Whatever, I'm done here." a guy says before moving on, and the others also go and continue their shopping.

"Eddy, Double-D. Why didn't you answer 'uh-huh' when I needed you guys to back me up?" Ed asks.

"What, and be called fools just like you were?" Eddy asks back.

"Eddy's right, Ed." Double-D says. _"It's no use telling people that Santa exists. Just let them believe what they wanna believe until they see ol' St. Nick themselves."_

_"..... Until they see ol' St. Nick themselves....."_ Double-D's words echo through Ed's head.

* * *

After coming home from the mall, Ed paces around his room, Double-D's words still echoing through his head...

_"I'll show em... I'll show em all that Santa DOES exist."_ Ed mutters to himself as he takes out a notepad and pencil from a pile of junk under his bed. Then he stops to think of something else...

"..... And maybe I should get something for May, too." he tells himself. _"What loving gift would she like?..... Come on, brain! Think! Don't fail me now..."_

* * *

Night falls over Peach Creek. In the Kankers' trailer, we see four stockings hung along the side of the stairs, one for each Kanker. Ursula's is green, Lee's is red, Marie's is blue, and May's is yellow.

_"Oh, boy!"_ May reaches into her stocking, but Lee grabs her wrist.

"Remember? No touchin the stockings til after we come back from Rachel's house." Lee reminds May.

"Let's get goin, girls." Ursula tells her daughters. They put on their winter gear head out through the snow towards Nikki's and Rachel's house.

* * *

In the cul-de-sac, all the houses have the same holiday decorations as in "Jingle Jingle Jangle." And the celebrations are already underway.

In Jimmy's house, Jimmy and his mom Wendy, both wearing red sweaters, are putting the final touches to their gingerbread town. And with Wendy's aid, the town is even more elegant than in "Jingle Jingle Jangle!"

"Isn't it beautiful, Mom?" Jimmy asks.

"Indeed!" Wendy answers, then calls to her husband: "James, it's done!"

Jimmy's dad James comes and sees the town, but is displeased about one thing: "Oh come on, where's the hockey players? _No Winter Wonderland is complete without hockey."_

"I told you beforehand, honey. Hockey is just too brutal for an artful town such as this!" Wendy says.

* * *

Nazz, wearing an outfit similar to the one she wore in "Jingle Jingle Jangle," is setting up her kitchen table with her mom Tabby, who's wearing a red wool sweater and black pants. Their doorbell rings.

"I'll get it." Nazz opens the door: "ERIN!!"

"Merry Christmas Eve, little cousin!" Erin kisses Nazz as she enters. She's wearing a long blue winter coat, red mittens, and a Santa hat.

"Where's Aunt Marian?" Nazz asks.

"Mom's gettin the presents out of my car." Erin points to Marian, her mother and Nazz's aunt who was mentioned in "Your Ed Here." Marian resembles Nazz, Erin and Tabby, but has a more robust physique. She has black-&-brown hair, and is wearing a beige winter coat, black pants, and earmuffs.

"Gimme a moment, girls!" Marian reaches and strains herself to get all the presents out of Erin's car. She carries the presents inside, where she kisses niece Nazz and sister Tabby.

"There's eggnog in the refrigerator." Tabby says. "And Marian, _please save some for Gerald this time."_

* * *

Kevin is wrapping up dozens of presents for his family and friends when his father comes with bags.

"Did some last-minute shoppin, son!" Kevin's dad gives Kevin the bags, which have more presents for him to wrap up.

"Ugh..." Kevin rolls his eyes at this, but cheers up as he grabs one of the presents he already wrapped. He labels it "_To Jenn."_

* * *

Jonny and his mom are taking their houseplants down into the basement while Plank "watches" from the sofa. Jonny & Plank are wearing their Jack Frost and Mr. Snowflake outfits from "Jingle Jingle Jangle." Jonny's mom is white-skinned, has brown hair, and is wearing a turquoise sweater, black pants, turquoise shoes, and an icicle headpiece similar to Jonny's. when Jonny brings down the final plant...

"Ok Ma, that's all of em!" Jonny tells his mom, who shuts off the heaters.

"Freeze the house, Phil!" Jonny's mom tells her husband Phil, a bald black man wearing the same-colored clothes as his wife and also having the same icicle headpiece as her and their son.

"Alrighty, Selena!" Phil closes the windows, opens the freezer, and turns the freeze meter all the way up...

* * *

Eddy's dad, wearing a Santa hat, is carrying a load of presents around his house to hide them. He barges into his room, where his wife (also wearing a Santa hat) is looking through the closet.

"What are you doing, Roger?" Eddy's mom asks her husband (Roger).

"I'm lookin for somewhere Eddy would never think of checkin out for these presents. You know anywhere, Gladys?" Roger asks his wife (Gladys), but then... _"Oh, I know!"_

Roger shoves the presents under his and Gladys's bed, making the bed stick up. Roger tries pressing it back down, but this forces the presents through the floor, and we hear Eddy down below!

_"Ooooo, what did I get this year?!"_ we hear Eddy unwrapping the presents.

"HEY!" Roger rushes downstairs to stop Eddy.

* * *

Double-D's parents, wearing winter coats and hats, pull up onto their driveway, but one of their front tires is blown by a sharp piece of ice sticking out of the ground.

"Oh, for heaven's sake." Mother complains at the blown tire.

"We'll fix it later." Father says as they step out of the car. Mother slips, and Father catches her: "Careful, Phoebe!"

"Thank you, Morgan!" Mother (Phoebe) thanks her husband (Morgan).

Phoebe and Morgan go up to their front door, which has a "Season's Greetings from the Hart Family" wreath on it. They open it and enter the house, which is decorated with numerous Christmas plants.

_"Eddward, we're home!"_ Phoebe calls, and Double-D comes down the stairs.

_"Mother!! Father!!"_ Double-D embraces with his parents.

* * *

The windows of Paul's and his family's house are decorated with colorful Christmas lights. Inside, we see Paul's folks running around up-&-down the stairs and in-&-out of apartments. The older family members are chasing down the younger ones, who are trying to open their presents early. In Paul's apartment...

"PAUL ELIJAH STEWART, GET YO ASS OUT HERE AND HELP GET THE PRESENTS BACK!!" Paul's fat mom calls to him. She has black hair and is wearing a purple sweater, blue jeans, gold flip-flops, and a gold necklace and bracelets.

"Alright Mama, I'm comin. Geez." Paul steps out of his room to help catch the kids running around with presents. He focuses on one of them, a little girl with braids: "GIMME THAT, LALA!"

Paul chases his younger relative Lala around and grabs the present she took, but she tugs.

"LET GO, LALA!" Paul tells Lala, who's aided by two more youngsters. They tug against Paul until finally decide to let go of the present, sending Paul flying into his Christmas tree, knocking it over. The kids then take more presents while Paul gets up. Paul finds a life-sized woman doll among the remaining presents, smirks pervertedly, and takes the doll with him into his room!

* * *

Illuminated snowmen stand on Jenna's lawn, and her front door has a "Feliz Navidad" sign on it. Inside, we see pictures of Jenna, her parents, and her relatives all hung on a wall. Her Christmas tree is lit red-&-green with matching ornaments, one of which is a stylized "La Familia de Flores." Jenna's parents are having dinner in the kitchen. Her mom resembles her, but has thinner lips and her hair has gray streaks as a sign of aging. She wears a red shirt with a fur-collar, black pants, red shoes, and a pearl necklace. Jenna's dad has shoulder-length black hair done into a ponytail, has a thick moustache, and has a few age-induced facial wrinkles. He's wearing a buttoned green shirt, blue jeans and black shoes.

"[Jenna, come down. Your food's getting cold.]" Jenna's mom calls in Spanish, but no response.

"[I'll get her, honey.]" Jenna's dad goes upstairs to Jenna's room, and knocks on her door: "[Jennifer, it's Christmas. So come eat with your family.]"

"[I'll be there in a moment, Papi.]" Jenna replies from inside her poster-filled room, wearing an outfit similar to her mom's, but has a skirt instead of pants, lacks a necklace, and has a Santa hat. She is wrapping up a present on her lamp-lit desk, then blushingly labels it _"xoxo Kevin xoxo."_

* * *

Colorful Christmas lights adorn the twin bushes by Zoe's stoop and the windows and fringes of her house. On her roof we see illuminated reindeer. Inside, we see her Christmas tree, which has colorful flashing lights. Zoe's mom, wearing a Mrs. Claus outfit, is cooking bibingka (a traditional Filipino rice cake associated with Christmas) in the kitchen. Zoe, wearing a sleeveless version of her mom's outfit with her hair loose, is putting a star outfit onto her infant brother (who was mentioned in "I Get an Ed Out of You"). Sparky runs around, wearing a Christmas dog sweater.

"There ya go, Kenny!" Zoe finishes putting the star costume onto her baby brother Kenny: _"Awww, you adorable little thing!"_

Zoe kisses Kenny's forehead, then their dad Thomas bursts in, wearing a complete Santa outfit.

"HO HO HELLO, LAURIE, ZOE AND KENNY!! GUESS WHO'S HERE?!" Thomas makes way for numerous relatives surging into the house, and shouts _"LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!!"_

"WHOOHOO!! _MOST WICKED!!"_ Zoe jumps into partying with her family.

* * *

Kyle's lawn has an illuminated sleigh, and his Christmas palm tree can be seen through the front window. Kyle himself, wearing a brown fur coat, a blue winter hat and gloves, and black boots, is giving Sarah a present. Sarah is wearing the same winter attire from the cartoon series.

"Feel free and open it whenever you like!" Kyle says. _"It's sure to help you whenever you need it."_

"Thanks, Kyle!" Sarah hugs Kyle. "Sorry I didn't get you a present, though."

"No worries, it's all good!" Kyle replies.

"Thanks again!" Sarah thanks. "You should get going now. _Tell your folks I said hi!"_

"Sure thing! _Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!"_ Kyle goes with his mother, a pretty blonde woman wearing a green winter coat and the same hat and gloves as her son. They get into their station wagon, which is packed with their stuff, and they drive away to spend the holidays with their family back in Pomelo Beach, their original home mentioned in "Eds Gone Wild."

* * *

Ed watches Double-D go to Eddy's house, then sneaks into his garage using a flashlight to see.

_"Forgive me, Double-D."_ Ed grabs a custom-built snowmobile labeled "Hydroelectric Snowspeeder Prototype B, do not touch." Ed goes in it, puts on the seatbelt, starts the engine, and speeds outside. A vacuum-like sucker on the front of the snowspeeder is taking in snow, and a complex mechanism inside it melts the snow into water and utilizes it for hydroelectricity that powers the vehicle. Ed stops by Rachel's house, which has illuminated angels on the front porch. Through the window we see Rachel's silver-&-gold Christmas tree, lit with white lights and topped with a rotating angel. Numerous Christmas chimes and a nativity display are also seen. Rachel and her mom Nikki, both wearing purple turtleneck sweaters, are chatting and having cocoa with the visiting Kankers. Ed sees May...

_"I'll get you a present. I promise."_ Ed then turns the snowspeeder around, and follows signs to head north out of Peach Creek.

* * *

Later, Eddy and Double-D are heading to Ed's house, with Double-D bringing a poinsettia. Then they notice...

"That's odd. Ed hasn't moved the chimney to his room yet." Double-D points out.

"He's probably still makin preparations for Santa." Eddy assumes. They go around to Ed's window, and Eddy slides in: "Hey, Mr. Yuletide Lump!..... Ed?...... Hello?......"

"Maybe he's upstairs." Double-D goes around to the front door and rings the bell, where Sarah opens up. She's now wearing her Christmas gown.

"Hey, Double-D!" she greets.

"Hello, I've come to deliver these poinsettias!" Double-D says. "Oh, have you seen Ed? He's not in his room."

"He should be here somewhere." Sarah lets Double-D in. "Now that you mention it, I wonder why he hasn't moved the chimney yet."

"I thought the same thing." Double-D replies, then Sarah calls her mom Angela upstairs: "MOM, IS ED UP THERE?!"

"Uh... Stan, is Edwin up here?" Angela's voice asks Stan who's also upstairs, and Angela recopricates his answer to Sarah: "NO HE ISN'T, PRINCESS!"

_".... Then where is he?"_ Sarah and Double-D ask simultaneously, then Eddy comes up from the basement with a note: _"Guys, you better read this."_

Eddy shows the note to Double-D and Sarah, written by Ed:

_"Deer family,_

_Its horrible that there's people who don't believe in Santa and call him fake. It isn't true, i saw him with my own eyes and so did my friends. He's a kajillion percent REAL, and not believing in what's real is mind rot. So i'm taking it on myself to prove to the unbelievers that Santa exists. I'm taking Double-D's snowspeeder to go to the North Pole and tell Santa everything, and i'm coming back with him to show everybody he's real!_

_Love, Ed"_

Double-D, Eddy and Sarah zip to Double-D's garage, and find his snowspeeder gone. Double-D screams _"ED!!"_

_"IS HE OUT OF HIS FUCKIN MIND?!!"_ Eddy asks in worry and anger. _"WE GOTTA TRACK HIM DOWN! PRONTO!"_

Sarah goes to tell her parents, and they rush to put on their winter gear (Angela has a glamorous white coat, Stan has a regular green coat) and hop into their car with Sarah, Double-D and Eddy. Stan tries starting the car, but sees that the fuel meter is empty!

"WHY DIDN'T YOU REFUEL WHEN I TOLD YA SO, YOU IDIOT?!!" Angela chokes Stan in the same way Sarah chokes Ed!

"Um... I KNOW, THE RETRO VAN!!" Double-D goes to his retro van, only to discover that his exhaust pipe is frozen. Then he, Eddy, Sarah, Angela and Stan run around in panic. Jimmy, Nazz, Kevin, Jonny and their families come out, asking what's going on.

* * *

Rolf (wearing a modified version of his sheep outfit from "Jingle Jingle Jangle") is dining on meat with his parents & grandparents. Like Rolf, they have greenish teeth and heavy accents. Rolf's dad is tall and lean much like his son, and has brown hair, some bristly facial hair, and also has hairy arms. He wears purple overalls over a yellow shirt, black boots, some kind of sheep-head hat, and a Yeshmiyek necklace. But Rolf most closely resembles his mom who has very long black hair, the top of which is tied into a wierd old-country style. She is barefoot, wears a black-&-white bodice with a purple skirt, a sheep-pelt apron, and a Yeshmiyek hat. Nana is an old, ugly, gray-haired, and hunch-backed woman with hair under her jaw and on her arms, a wooden leg, and she uses a walker. She wears a brown cloak over clothing similar to Rolf's mom's, but also has brown shoes and heavy earrings that weigh down her earlobes. Nano is a short old man who's partially bald with liverspots, has a long white beard that reaches the floor, has several missing teeth, and walks with a cane. He wears a red sweater, blue jeans, brown shoes, and dark glasses.

"Thank you for producing yet another fine feast, Mama!" Rolf thanks.

"It is what I do, son!" Mama replies. Then they hear panicked voices outside.

_"What is this commotion that disturbs our feast?"_ Nano asks, irritated.

_"Rolf says we investigate first-hand."_ Rolf suggests, and they head outside. All the other families are driving off to find Ed. Double-D and Nazz go with Erin and Tabby. Kevin goes with his dad. Jimmy, Sarah, Angela, and Stan go with Jimmy's dad James. And Eddy and Jonny go with their respective parents, leaving only Jimmy's mom Wendy, Nazz's aunt Marian, and Double-D's parents who just stepped out of their house.

"What happened, fearful mother Wendy?" Papa asks.

"Angela's son Ed went off to the North Pole to bring Santa here." Wendy answers in a worried tone as Paul, Jenna and Zoe arrive, attracted by the commotion. Jenna and Zoe are accompanied by their parents. Jenna's parents are wearing black coats. Jenna herself is wearing a pink coat with her fur hood up. Paul has his regular blue hoodie. Zoe has a green coat with magenta gloves and earmuffs.

"Ed went to the North Pole?... _For what, again?"_ Jenna asks.

"...... Who is this Santa Claus you speak of?" Nana asks.

"The North Pole? But that's highly implausible due to a multitude of factors-" Morgan is stopped by Phoebe's elbow.

"I always knew Armpit was nuts, _but this..."_ Paul is in disbelief. Then everyone returns from their search, without success.

_"We couldn't find him."_ Erin worries, and Jimmy adds "We followed the trail he left behind, but it was obscured by other cars."

_"My Edwin..."_ Angela starts to cry on the ground. _"I barely paid attention to him until three years ago, and... and... "WAAAAAAHHH!!! WHAT KIND OF MOM AM I?!! I STILL GOT SO MUCH BONDING TIME TO MAKE UP FOR!!! I DON'T WANT EDWIN FREEZING TO DEATH!!!"_

Sarah and Stan comfort Angela while Double-D reassures "But the snowspeeder he's using is one of my prototypes, so he couldn't have gotten too far."

_"We must track down the yellow Ed boy."_ Rolf declares, then goes to call "WILFRED!"

_"Right, I will get the horses. Hanna, get the warm sheets."_ Papa instructs his wife (Hanna), then appoints Ed's, Eddy's, Kevin's and Zoe's dads: _"Stan the Sloth and Roger the Titan, ready the wagons. Peter the Valiant_ (Kevin's dad)_ and Thomas the Wildhearted, you shall aid in spotting the Ed boy."_

_"Wait, Mr. Vorlik. We want to come, too."_ Double-D tells Papa, who is further persuaded by Jonny's dad Phil: _"They're his friends, Noah. It's only right."_

"Very well. Come along, younglings." Papa lets Double-D, Eddy and the others come along.

_"Eddward, don't."_ Phoebe worries, but Double-D tells her _"I'll be fine, Mother. I promise!"_

_".......... Ok, but be careful."_ Phoebe lets Double-D join his friends, who are also persuading their folks to let them join the search for Ed. Once they're done...

'WE'RE COMIN, ED!!" Eddy shouts.

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

Whew, this is definitely gonna be one of the longer episodes. I'll try to have part 2 up as fast as possible so as not to be late.

Also, I just created a DeviantArt account so I can display my art for the Teen Series!! I'll upload the drawings soon!


	24. EEnE's Holly Jolly Holiday pt 2

Here's part 2 to my fabulous Christmas special! I don't have much else to say right here, so go ahead and read on.

* * *

Ed is riding Double-D's prototype snowspeeder, which is still going strong, down a road and towards a small town lit with Christmas lights. He speeds through the town's streets, dodging cars and crossing people along the way. He is then hindered by traffic, so he takes a detour to go around it and continue northwards. But in doing so, he goes onto an icy road, causing him to lose control of the snowspeeder: "Whoooaaaaa-"

The icy street leads to an intersection, a group of carolers are singing the Rudolph song. Ed comes spiraling up towards the intersection when he sees a truck going through it. His eyes bug out and he can't regain control the snowspeeder, so he tries grabbing a pole to make a turn. But the pole is also iced and Ed only manages to turn the snowspeeder slightly before he loses his grip. Then he sees that his turn is leading him straight towards the carolers!

"AAAAAAAHHH!!" the carolers jump out of the way of the incoming snowspeeder, revealing a fire hydrant. The snowspeeder crashes straight into the hydrant, sending Ed flying ahead while the water from the busted hydrant freezes onto the snowspeeder.

"WHOOOAAAAAAAHHH!!!" Ed flails through the air and over the rest of the town before falling down and crash-landing in the middle of a forest, skidding through the snow to a stop. But Ed quickly gets up and blows some snow out through his ears.

"I'M STILL COMIN, SANTA!!" Ed continues his journey on foot.

* * *

Back at the cul-de-sac, Rolf and his dad Noah have their horse-drawn wagons ready. The two wagons are connected to each other by ropes, with Double-D, Eddy and the other kids and teens in the back while Noah, Angela, Stan, Peter, Thomas (with Zoe on his shoulders) and Erin in the front. Noah is reigning the horses, Peter and Thomas have binoculars, and Erin has some first-aid at the ready. Rolf is having Wilfred sniff one of Ed's gym shorts so Wilfred will memorize and follow Ed's scent trail from Double-D's garage. Then he straps Wilfred into a harness that connects back to the front horses so that as Wilfred tracks Ed's scent, the horses will follow him. Then Rolf takes his seat next to Noah.

"Hey, where you guys goin?" Nano forgot everything that happened due to senility, and everyone stares at him for this!

"We're saving the out-of-his-noggin Ed boy, Nano." Rolf answers.

"Let not the winter teeth bite your skin!" Nana tells those in the wagons.

"BE CAREFUL!" Gladys, Wendy, Tabby, Marian, Selena, Hanna, Laurie and Jenna's mom shout for their childrens' safety. Eddy gives a reassuring thumbs-up to his mother Gladys.

"WE'LL BE BACK BEFORE MIDNIGHT, MOMMY!" Zoe promises to her mother Laurie, who also recieves an assuring grin from Thomas.

"MR. SNOWFLAKE SAYS STOP WASTIN TIME! LET'S GET GOING!" Jonny shouts.

"VERY WELL, THEN! HYAH!" Noah gets the horses moving, and they follow Wilfred's lead as he tracks Ed's scent.

_"I really hope Ed's ok."_ Nazz expresses her concern, and Kevin replies _"He's Ed. I'm sure he'll hold out for at least a while."_

_"Let's just pray we catch up in time."_ Double-D worries.

* * *

Meanwhile, Ed continues through the cold, dark conifer forests. After a while he comes across a herd of caribou (wild reindeer), who are stripping bark and digging through snow for food.

"Reindeer! I must be close!" Ed rushes over to the caribou, not knowing the difference between the Christmas version and the wild version. Thus, the caribou are frightened by the sight of Ed running towards them, and they run. "WAIT, STOP! I JUST NEED ONE OF YOU TO GET TO THE NORTH POLE FASTER!!"

Ed chases after the caribou herd through the forest. He then singles one out and jumps on its back. The frantic animal honks in alarm and bucks around in a effort to shake Ed off.

"WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!" Ed hangs onto the flailing caribou as it zigzags between the trees. Then it finally shakes free of Ed and KICKS him with its hind legs, sending him flying through the forest. The force of the kick was so great that each tree Ed flies through gets uprooted and goes with him. He flies through three trees in this fashion, and they form a makeshift sleigh when they fly out of the northern edge of the forest and slide down a long, snowy slope. When the tree-sliegh reaches the end of its slide, a visibly weakened Ed forces his way out of the uprooted trees. He is now in a dark, extremely cold, and windswept snowfield.

_"Brrrr..."_ Ed rubs his hands together to generate heat as he starts trudging through the snow again. He passes a few hardy shrubs, which gradually become smaller and smaller, and eventually they disappear as Ed continues his voyage into the Arctic tundra.

* * *

Following Ed's scent trail past the Canadian border, Wilfred leads Ed's rescue convoy towards the small town that Ed went through.

"What a lively little town!" Jimmy marvels at the town's Christmas decorations.

"The Ed boy could be here somewhere." Rolf says hopefully, taking out a telescope to look ahead for Ed. Peter and Thomas are using their binoculars to search the periphery, and Zoe hops off Thomas's shoulders and onto the front wagon's roof, taking out her own telescope and turning rigidly on one foot as she looks around for Ed.

"TRAFFIC JAM!" Zoe warns, but the convoy gets caught up in the same traffic jam that Ed got held up by.

"All these cars ain't helpin." Eddy scoffs while peering out from the rear wagon.

"Let's car-hop, then." Jonny hops out of the wagon to jump ahead from car-to-car.

"JONNY, GET BACK HERE!" Double-D tries calling Jonny back.

"Guys, LOOK!" Jenna points out Wilfred, who somehow freed himself from his reins to follow Ed's scent between the cars. Rolf is chasing him while shouting his name!

"FOLLOW THE PIG!" Sarah shoves her way through the others to jump out and follow Wilfred. The other kids and teens (except Jonny) follow suit, while Stan tosses aside cars to make way for the Vorliks' horse wagons.

"W-Wh-Whoaaaaaaaaaa-" Paul and a few others slip on the icy street that Ed went through, while Nazz and Jenna skate through. Eddy crashes into a snowman (whose button-eyes and carrot nose get stuck on Eddy's face), while Zoe laughingly slides on the ice penguin-style! They follow Wilfred towards...

"THERE'S DOUBLE-D'S SNOWSPEEDER!!" Kevin is the first to spot Double-D's crashed snowspeeder, frozen by the hydrant's water.

"Well, there goes my prototype. _But Ed was here!"_ Double-D exclaims. Wilfred sniffs around the frozen snowspeeder, and starts squealing.

"Looks like the Ed boy's scent trail ends here." Rolf says, then Jonny reappears:

_"Guys, Mr. Snowflake found out where Ed went! Follow us!!"_

* * *

Sub-zero winds sting Ed's face as he he struggles on through the dark tundra and ice fields. Ed is shivering, his teeth are chattering, and after several more miles he gradually starts to slow down as exhaustion and sheer cold start to take toll on him. Then he drops to his knees...

_**"Santa ain't real. He's nothin but childrens' folklore."**_ Ed remembers the guy who said those words.

**_"... Until they see Ol' St. Nick themselves."_** he remembers Double-D's words, which egg him on.

_"Must... r-r-reach... S-S-Santa..."_ Ed gets up and struggles on through the Arctic winds. _"M-M-Must... p-p-pr-prove... he's... r-r-r-real..."_

Ed continues on, but after being overwhelmed by exhaustion, fatigue, and extreme cold, he falls.

* * *

From where Ed landed in the conifer forest, Wilfred has continued following his scent trail through the forest.

"Old-country nostalgia runs through Rolf's head, Papa." Rolf tells his dad Noah, who bobs his head in agreement.

_"Ed's got nerves of steel to go this far."_ Peter comments as they continue on, once again scaring off the caribou herd.

"Hey, look! Reindeer!" Jimmy looks at the fleeing caribou, to which Nazz replies _"_We must be getting close."

The convoy follows Ed's zigzagging route through the forest, entering the windswept tundra. There, Wilfred sniffs around the remains of the trees that Ed was knocked through.

"ED!! ED!!!" Sarah, Angela and Stan call out while the others search around the trees.

_"Guys.... Monobrow ain't here..."_ Eddy discovered Ed's footprints, going further still.

_"Oh, dear..."_ Double-D utters in horror.

_"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! WE NEED TO HURRY!!"_ Angela panics, urging the convoy to continue on. The adults use lights to follow Ed's footprints through the cold, windy darkness of the Arctic night.

Further out in the icy fields, Ed sees a bright light in the distance. But by now he's so weak that he can barely even crawl towards it. He tries doing so, but his arms are too numb to move. As his vision fades, he flashes back to his fellow Eds, family, friends, and May.

The last thing Ed sees are small shadowy figures with lights approaching him, just as he loses consciousness.....

* * *

_"..... Edwin!..."_ a deep voice is heard: _"..... Yoohoo, Edwin!..."_

Ed's eyes slow start to open up, and we hear a higher-pitched voice exclaim _"He's wakin up!"_

_"Huh?..."_ Ed's eyes open fully, and sees a large jolly man with a white beard and wearing red, accompanied by two green-wearing elves.

_"Hohoho, Edwin!!"_ Santa shouts with joy.

_".... S-Santa?..."_ Ed gets up, revealing that he's wearing a long-sleeved version of his striped shirt while his jacket is hanging on a nearby hanger to dry off. Not quite awake yet, Ed seems unsurprised to see Santa......... Then it sinks into him!

_"SANTA!!!"_ Ed jumps out of the bed he was laying in. "OH MY GOD, IT'S REALLY YOU!!!..... AND OH, ELVES!!" Ed grabs one of the elves, checking him out and stretching him, much to the elf's chagrin. Then Ed drops him: "Wait, so you guys are here... _if I'm here..."_

Ed dashes out through one of the room's doors, and finds himself on the balcony of Santa's workshop!

"SANTA'S WORKSHOP!!!" Ed joyfully jumps down into Santa's enormous workshop, full of elves and presents. He marvels at the assembly lines of elves making all sorts of toys and other stuff on the conveyor belts, each conveyor belt being assigned to a different country. Using the naughty and nice lists posted on a wall, they determine whether they'll make presents or use lumps of coal before starting the process. Meanwhile, Ed merrily rides down the American conveyor belt, with elves yelling at him to "GET OFF!" But Ed ignores them and finds a present with Sarah's name while the conveyor belt leads into a large, silo-shaped machine (one at the end of each conveyor belt) that divides the presents by town (such as New York, Chicago, St. Louis, etc). The divided presents are shot out of the machine and into large bins assigned to the different towns, Ed being fired into the Peach Creek bin with Sarah's present.

"PRESENTS!!" Ed swims in the presents before jumping out and heading to a door labeled "Reindeer." He goes through it, and finds Santa's reindeer chewing cud in a stable. "This is so COOL!!"

"The reindeer don't like being disturbed, _especially Blitzen."_ an elf directs Ed out of the reindeer stable.

"I see you're enjoying this place quite a bit, boy!" Santa says.

"That's putting it lightly. This is a dream come true!" Ed exclaims, dancing around the workshop until Santa suddenly reappears in front of him and halts him in his tracks.

"Whoa there, I wasn't finished." Santa says before continuing: _"My elves found you passed out in the cold outside. How did that happen?"_

"Oh....... I remember now. I came here all the way from Peach Creek to see you!" Ed answers.

"Whatever for?" Santa asks.

_"You see, Santa, everyone know about you, but the problem is not everyone believes in you."_ Ed explains: _"I tried tellin them you were really real, but they didn't listen. That's why I came all the way over here, so I can tell you and bring you to them to prove em wrong."_

"...... Ohoho! That's completely natural, boy!" Santa replies. _"I'm fully aware that not everyone believes in me. All kids certainly do, but most of them grow out of that phase as they get older. But I'll admit, I'm amazed at how a seventeen-year-old boy like yourself can still believe in my existence!"_

"But what's there to be amazed about when people forget a wonderful man like you?" Ed asks.

"It's ok, Edwin." Santa says. "In fact, I prefer things the way they are. Making and delivering presents to ALL the world's kids can't be done in one night, so I just let the parents handle the rest. If everyone still believed and knew about me, that would be too much responsibility on my end- if you know what I mean._ So I say that it's best to just let people believe what they wanna believe."_

".... My friend Double-D said the same thing." Ed reflects on Double-D's words. _"I guess you guys are right."_

"However, since you've come all this way out of believing in me,_ I'll give you a little somethin as a reward!"_ Santa gives Ed two small bells: _"These bells are special! As long as you and others believe in me, you will all hear its jingle!"_

Ed smiles and jingles the bells, then one of Santa's elves comes to Santa: "One minute until the American flight, Mr. Claus."

_"Oh dear, one minute?!"_ Santa asks in shock: "I need to get ready! Come, Edwin; I'll drop you off along the way."

* * *

Meanwhile, the storm outside has passed, giving way to a clear blue night sky. Ed's rescue convoy is now at the spot where he passed out before the elves found him. Wilfred sniffs Ed's outline in the snow while the others notice the elves' footprints.

_"Guys, look!"_ Jimmy, after following the footprints, points out the brightly-lit town in the distance, highlighted by Santa's house and workshop while the other houses are the elves' homes.

_"What is that?"_ Eddy asks.

_"Could it be?"_ Double-D asks, trying to get a better view. Then they see something fly out of Santa's workshop. They all watch...

_"..... No way..."_ Paul utters as the flying object comes closer, revealing it or rather "them" to be Santa's reindeer. Ed is with Santa in his sleigh, beginning the voyage of delivering presents.

"Huh, more visitors?" Santa spots Ed's family and friends below.

Ed looks: "....... THOSE ARE MY FRIENDS!! MOM, DAD, SARAH!! HEY GUYS!!!" Ed waves at his friends and family as Santa has the reindeer descend.

_"IT'S SANTA AND ED!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"_ Zoe screams in joy! Double-D, Eddy, Sarah and the other kids and teens hug and hi-five Ed & Santa when they land, while the adults are dumbstruck (except Noah), and Angela even faints!

* * *

It's now Christmas morning, and it's snowing. Sarah enters Ed's room to wake him up:

_"Ed!.... Ed!......... ED!"_ Sarah's yell awakens Ed with a jump, then she greets _"Merry Christmas, brother!"_

"IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!" Ed jumps into his closet, and emerges wearing an outfit much like the one he wore in "Fa La La La Ed." He jumps around in joy: "OH BOY, OH BOY, OH BOY!!!...... Oh Sarah, I forgot to show you guys somethin Santa gave me."

Ed goes into his dirty clothes to retrieve the bells Santa gave him, and reaches into the pants he wore last night. But the bells are gone now, and Ed laments.

"Somethin wrong, Ed?" Sarah asks.

_"No, I'll just find it later."_ Ed lies before going upstairs with Sarah to open presents. Sarah opens the one Kyle gave her before he left. It's a squishy ball with a blue ocean-swirl pattern, and Sarah smiles while squishing it. Ed is going through his presents, one of which contains the bells Santa gave him, along with a note:

_"You left these on my sleigh, silly!_

_- Santa!"_

* * *

An EEnE version of "It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" plays while everyone in the cul-de-sacs meet up with each other, hugging and giving presents to each other. Jonny nips Jimmy's nose, causing him to yelp in pain.

"Nipped your nose, Jimmy!" Jonny laughs, then Sarah punches him aside. She then grins at Jimmy along with Zoe...

"CHRISTMAS KISSES, JIMMY!!" Sarah and Zoe jump Jimmy and kiss him.

"Here ya go, Jenn! _I spent every cent I had on it."_ Kevin gives Jenna her present, making her blush. She runs off to open it, but briefly stops to throw her gift for Kevin at him before she continues away. Kevin opens the present Jenna gave him, revealing it as a modular motorcycle helmet (the kind that flips up when not in use) with a custom flame paintjob, even having his name painted in flames above the visor! Words are imprinted inside the helmet:

_"Protectin ur head with luv! - Jenn."_

Meanwhile, Jenna opens her gift in her room. It's a luxurious diamond necklace with a white gold _"JnK"_ pendant, representing her and Kevin's names. She joyfully holds it close, blushing even more!

_"I'll wear this always!!"_ she says. Back outside, Eddy approaches Kevin:

"Just a reminder, Kev: you owe me the fifty I loaned ya to help buy that necklace for Jenn." Eddy reminds Kevin.

"I know." Kevin replies.

* * *

Meanwhile, Ed and Double-D head to the Kankers' trailer, and Double-D knocks on their door. Lee opens it, still wearing her pajamas (similar to what she wore in "Run for Your Ed," but reaching her knees).

"Merry Christmas, Lee!" Double-D greets.

"Come on in! May and Marie are waitin for you two!" Lee lets the boys in.

"Hey, my little Christmas angel!" Marie rushes towards Double-D and tightly hugs him. She's also wearing her pajamas, also similar to "Run for Your Ed" but she now has cotton pants instead of boxers.

_"Um, M-Merry Ch-Ch-Christmas Marie!"_ Double-D hugs Marie back, still sweating despite his relationship with her. But he manages to show his present to her: _"H-Here's your gift!"_

Marie takes her present and opens it, revealing it as the Marie doll Double-D kept in his drawer in "Lesson Number Ed!"

_"Awwww sweetie, this is SO cute!! Come here!"_ Marie grabs Double-D. _"I got somethin for you, too!"_

"Um, what would that be?" Double-D asks as Marie takes him into the kitchen, where he sees a mistletoe above the doorway. Marie giggles amorously at this, and she starts kissing him to the point of knocking him to the floor. While Marie smothers Double-D with Christmas kisses, May (wearing her white nightgown from "You Are What You Ed") approaches Ed, who sweats and bites his lip.

_"You got anything for me, Ed?"_ May asks in anticipation, and Ed flashes back:

**Santa is dropping off Ed on his rooftop while everyone who went to rescue him are returning to their houses.**

**"Thanks for everything, Santa!" Ed thanks.**

**"You're welcome, Edwin!" Santa replies, giving Ed Sarah's present. "Now excuse me, I must get going with the presents."**

**"Presents..." Ed remembers something: "Santa, WAIT!"**

**"What is it, boy?" Santa asks while getting back on his sleigh.**

**_"There's this girl... that I uh, like."_ Ed explains: _"I wanted to give her somethin. A loving gift! But I couldn't think of anything."_**

**"So want to give something to May, hmm?" Santa asks.**

**_"How did you know?!"_ Ed asks, surprised.**

**"Oh I just know these things. I'm Santa, after all!" Santa answers: "But back to the subject: _it doesn't matter whether you find good material gifts or not. That's because the most loving gift... is love itself! Remember that!"_**

"Ummm..." Ed stutters... _"I got you a... a very loving gift, May!"_

_"Oooo, show me!"_ May comes closer... then Ed suddenly grabs her.

_"Santa told me... that the most loving gift is love itself, and..."_ Ed pauses. Lee smiles while Marie and a kiss-covered Double-D return from the kitchen and Ursula (wearing a gray bathrobe) comes down the stairs. They hear Ed declare...

_"... May... I LOVE YOU!!!" Ed snaps a nerve that enables him to grab May's cheeks and kiss her lips, much to her and everyone elses' surprise!! May's eyes bug out at first, but the initial shock wears off, then she blushes and pulls Ed in to deepen their kiss!!_ Then they part lips after a few more seconds.

_"WHOOOOOO!!!"_ Lee, Marie, Ursula and Double-D clap and cheer! Ursula turns to Lee: "So that only leaves you, eh Leah?"

_".... Yeah."_ Lee answers, thinking about Eddy. Then Ed starts jingling the bells Santa gave him, but only he, May and Double-D hear it.

"What's up with those bells?" Lee asks, and Ursula utters "I don't hear nothin."

"I hear it!" Double-D exclaims.

"Huh? How?" Marie asks.

"I don't know, _but I hear it too!"_ May exclaims.

"Hey um, May?" Ed asks: _"Wanna go borrow a horse from Rolf's?"_

Later, we see Rachel wearing the same attire from the beginning of the episode, sitting on a fence and singing "Sleigh Ride" as Ed and May ride through Peach Creek's snowy countryside on a sleigh pulled by one of Rolf's horses. As they disappear over the hills and into the distance, more letter-shaped snowflakes fall from the sky and form the closing words:

**Merry Christmas And Happy New Year!!!**

* * *

Well, that's a wrap for the first half of the Teen Series. Yes, there's gonna be a grand total of 24 episodes before I leave this site in June. I'll continue writing episodes in January, but in the meantime I'll be working on my prequel "Rise of The Gourd" and making Teen Series pics for my deviantArt (username MonkeyPhoenix325). So yeah, Merry Christmas to you all! Enjoy the eggnog, everyone!


	25. Peeping Ed pt 1

Hey guys, Easymac is back (no rhyme intended) with Teen Series Episode 13! And just to let you know, the remaining episodes will follow the seasons, as in episodes 13-15 will be set during winter while the rest will be set during spring.

* * *

**_Episode #13: Peeping Ed_**

* * *

People cheer from bleachers as Peach Creek plays a basketball game against the visiting Bananna Bluffs in the PCH Gymnasium. Bananna Bluffs's colors are yellow and green.

"And McGee passes it to Dorn." the announcer says as Eddy passes the ball to Kevin, who dodges through his opponents and shoots to score for his team. Nazz, Jenna, and the other cheerleaders (same as in "Ed Stroke") cheer. Double-D and other people cheer and whoop from the bleachers.

"Twenty to twenty-one." team captain Kevin checks the scores, then tells his team "We can't let Bananna Bluffs score this time, ok boys?"

"Right-o!" Jonny answers. Paul is staring at the cheerleaders with a pervy grin until...

"Paul, let's go. Defense." Kevin calls to Paul, snapping him out of his trance and he heads over to help play defense. Kevin and Paul are both dodged by the BB players, one of whom also dodges Ed and then shoots the ball. Rolf leaps up to block the ball, sending it out of bounds. The referee throws the ball back in, and Jonny and another BB player race to grab it. Jonny grabs the ball first and passes it to Ed, who gets knocked over by a BB player attempting to steal from him, resulting in a foul against that player.

In the next play, the ball is passed to Paul. While he dribbles towards the basket, his eyes wander towards the cheerleaders...

_"Ohhhh yeeaaahh!..."_ Paul says mentally as he starts turning away from the basket and towards the cheerleaders.

"What's Paul doing?!" Nazz asks in shock as her fellow cheerleaders yell at Paul to turn back towards the basket, and Paul's distraction allows a BB player to steal the ball from him.

"Huh?... Shit!" Paul is surprised and reverts his attention back to the game.

"Idiot." Eddy makes up for Paul's mistake by using his relatively short stature to steal the ball back and easily dodge under the BB players. He passes the ball to Ed who does a layup, raising the score to 22-21.

"We lead again, yo!" Rolf exclaims, while Kevin goes up to Paul:

"What the hell happened, Paul?" Kevin asks Paul, who's looking at the cheerleaders. Kevin smacks Paul to gain his attention: "HELLO?!"

"Oh, um... my bad for what happened before, CK!" Paul apologizes. "It won't happen again."

"I hope not, now come on." Kevin takes Paul to continue the game. Several plays later, Bananna Bluffs scores an alley-oop, bringing them ahead by one point. Peach Creek tries scoring again, but by now, only seconds are left.

"Paul, Eddy's gonna pass to me and I'm gonna pass to you, then you'll shoot while the rest of us cover you." Kevin tells Paul. _"It's all or nothing."_

"Aight, man." Paul complies, and the final play commences. Eddy doges his opponent guard and passes to Kevin, who dodges another and passes to Paul. Paul dribbles the ball to a good shooting spot while his teammates cover him, but as he prepares to shoot, he lays eyes on the cheerleaders again. **Paul slips into fantasyland, where the cheerleaders are all wearing bikinis (except Sheranne who has a onepiece) and coaxing Paul into a tropical pool!! Many more girls fly above on angel wings!**

**_"Come relax with us, Paul!"_ two girls grab Paul and take into the pool, where Nazz seductively tells Paul _"You're makin me tingle, baby!"_**

**_"It's what I do, Nazzalicious! Cuz I'm Mista P, as in 'Phantastic!'"_ Paul spells out "Phantastic" in the air as Nazz and the other girls stroke their hands throughout his body!**

**_"Caliente!"_ Jenna swims towards Paul to do the same, until her face is suddenly WHACKED inwards by seemingly nothing!!...**

In reality, Paul already shot the ball. But due to his girl fantasy, he shot away from the hoop and towards the cheerleaders, and the ball hit Jenna's face, knocking her down!!

"Oh my..." Double-D utters in shock, and the other spectators are also shocked. Even more shocked are Paul's teammates, and the victorious BB players and their cheerleaders are just laughing.

"And the game goes to the Bananna Bluffs Simians!" the announcer declares, and the PC players glare angrily at Paul, whose distraction cost them the game. Paul just grins sheepishly before getting grabbed and beaten up by the furious Jenna, who curses in Spanish as she pummels him.

"Stupidass." Jenna leaves Paul squirming on the floor, where his teammates angrily approach:

_"Way to go, Paul!"_ Eddy sarcastically exclaims.

_"Plank and I are so pissed off with you."_ Jonny says.

_"I can't believe I trusted you, of all people, with the ball."_ Kevin scolds.

_"Not cool, yo. NOT COOL!"_ Rolf shouts.

* * *

The next day in school, Paul is reading through his biology book in biology class, which is also attended by the Eds, Nazz, Rolf, Sheranne and a dozen other generic students.

"Ok students, who will volunteer to draw the male reproductive system on the board?" the teacher asks, and Paul raises his hand. "Paul."

"Aight, Mrs. Ellis!" Paul goes up to the board, and starts drawing on it. By the time he's done...

"GAH!!" Mrs. Ellis screams in shock upon seeing Paul's drawing: a diagram of the male reproductive system being inserted into the female system, with joyful expressions on the drawings' faces!

"Paul. Come on, man. What is this?" the students aren't amused, and Sheranne scoffs "You make me sick, Paul."

"What, it's accurate!" Paul reasons.

"This is gettin old, dude." Nazz says. "You need to stop."

* * *

At lunchtime, the boys eat at their table. Rolf tells Kevin and Jonny what happpened in biology class:

"It's true! _Hormonal Paul boy went and drew the beast-with-two-backs manuever on the blackboard."_ Rolf explains while demonstrating with his hands, which disturbs Kevin and Jonny.

"Planks says stop bein so graphic, Rolf." Jonny says.

"Apologies, wood boy, but Paul boy just doesn't stop." Rolf complains. "Where does it end, man?"

"I was thinkin the same thing since last night." Kevin replies. "Yeah, we all like sex jokes, but Paul just takes it to overdrive."

"And it's still goin on. _Look."_ Jonny points to Paul, who's making a female figure out of his lunchmeat.

"Yo, check out Ms. Bootychops here!" Paul shows off his meat figure: "Get it?! Booty?! Porkchops?! Bootychops?! Hahahaha! Oh wait!" Paul goes to get another tray of meat, and returns to make a male figure with it.

"YO, LADIES!!" he calls out to Nazz, Jenna and their girl group at their table. They see Paul sticking his straw through the male meat figure's pubic region as a makeshift penis, and blows milk through it and onto the female meat figure!

"EEEWWWWW!!!" the girls recoil in disgust, and the boys aren't impressed either.

_"That's a waste of food, Paul!"_ Jonny scolds Paul. Jenna looks at Nazz and the other girls, they all bob their heads, then they shoot milk through their straws to knock Paul over.

_"Grow up."_ Sheranne kicks Paul in the stomach while Ed eats the female meat sculpture: "Mmmmm, bootylicious!"

* * *

After school, we see a sign pointing towards "JIMMY'S SLIP-N-SLIDE SKATING RINK," which is a cardboard-walled ice rink that Jimmy created by using hoses to spray the middle of the cul-de-sac and waited for the winter air to freeze it. So far, Zoe, Nazz, Jenna, Kevin, and Jonny are skating it. Even Plank is skating by himself (on one ice skate)! Jimmy is standing by the entrance with a money jar labeled "25 cents."

"Where's Sarah and Kyle?" Zoe asks while skating past Jimmy.

"They're still doing homework." Jimmy answers as Paul comes up and pays twenty-five cents to skate in the rink. Meanwhile, a grinning Kevin is giving chase to Jenna, who hides a blush and skates ahead of Kevin.

_"I love it when she plays hard-to-get!"_ Kevin skates faster to catch up to Jenna. But then he spots Jenna getting annoyed by Paul.

"LAY OFF, MAN!" Kevin rushes into Paul, knocking him away.

"Thanks Kev, but I didn't need your help gettin rid of him." Jenna says, skating away.

"Ah, I know you're grateful!" Kevin continues after Jenna. Meanwhile, Nazz is skating on her hands so Zoe can hand-stand on top of her feet.

"WHEEEEEE!!" Zoe yells in joy as she and Nazz spin around in opposite directions, then she jumps off and Nazz flips her feet back into her ice skates. Then Paul appears next to her!

"That was some smooth formation you and Cray-Z did!" Paul comments.

"God, will you go away? You've been a huge annoyance today." Nazz tries skating away, but Paul skates in front of her.

"Ok look, Nazzalicious. Maybe I overdid it a bit in school, but I can make up for it!" Paul says.

"Not interested. _I know how you are."_ Nazz declines.

"Nah, come on, baby! We could just-" Paul is sent flying out of the rink by a karate-kick to the crotch by a fed-up Nazz. Jenna skates to Nazz and says "He really needs to castrated."

"I couldn't agree more." Nazz agrees.

"WHOOOOAAAAAAAA!!" Paul screams as he flies across the sky, falls down, bounces across rooftops, and finally lands on two women several blocks away.

"Ah, my tits are bruised!" one of the women whines.

"My bad!" Paul gets up to help the women out of the snow, but then...

"Whatchu doin with our flowers, nigga?" a voice asks Paul from behind. Paul turns around, and sees two Drupes walking towards him.

"Oh, shit! Wait, it ain't what you think!" Paul tries reasoning but the Drupes pull out their guns!! Paul immediately runs!

"WASTE HIM!!" the second Drupe shouts, then the two begin firing their guns at the SCREAMING Paul!! Paul runs through the snowy streets, jumping and rolling every so often to avoid the Drupes' bullets.

* * *

Eddy is sitting on the sofa in Double-D's living room, complaining "How am I supposed to make cash when Jimmy goes and steals my idea?"

"Well, Jimmy has more time to plan scams than you do with all your schoolwork." Double-D answers while helping Ed with his homework in the kitchen. _"I suggest you find a new job instead of returning to your old con art."_

_"That's what I've been tryin to do with all my free time between episodes."_ Eddy says. Then Paul bursts in, knocking down the door in the process. He quickly puts the door back and boards it up, his heart punding out of his chest.

_"HIDE ME!!"_ Paul panics while looking for a hiding spot.

"What is it, Paul?" Double-D asks as he and Ed zip in from the kitchen.

_"DRUPES ARE SHOOTIN AT ME!!"_ Paul hides under the armchair. The Eds looks out through the front window, and see the two Drupes giving up the chase and walking away.

"They're gone, Paul." Eddy tells Paul, who emerges from under the armchair and sits on it. Ed asks "What happened?"

"Ok, I'll explain." Paul begins: _"I was chillin with Nazzalicious, right, when she kicked me in the air. I flew up some hundred feet before I fell back down and landed on these two Drupes' flowers."_

"Flowers?" Eddy asks.

"That's the Drupes' term for girlfriend, woman, bitch, etcetera." Paul explains: "Now where was I? Oh yeah, _I realized the two women I crashed into were those Drupes' girls. Then they tried bustin caps in my ass, and I ran for my fuckin life all the way over here."_

_"Wow."_ Ed comments.

"So wait, you said that Nazz kicked you?" Double-D asks.

"Gee, I wonder why THAT happened." Eddy sarcastically says.

"I'm gonna have to agree there." Double-D says. "There's no polite way to say this, Paul, _but I'm afraid your feminine lust has gone too far."_

".... What're you talkin bout?" Paul asks a bit insecurely.

_"Your obsession with girls has become a hindrance to them and a distraction to yourself, interfering with your work as well as game performance."_ Ed says in a burst of intellect, surprising Double-D and Eddy, who turns back to Paul:

"And no offense, but your sex jokes are gettin kinda stale." Eddy says.

_"I got no idea what you guys are sayin!"_ Paul rebuffs in denial, sweating: _"Hehe, my sex jokes RULE! I'mma playa! The girls love me cuz I'm Mista P, sex god extraordinaire! I ain't got no obsession! I'm FINE!!..........................."_

But then Paul breaks down and drops to his knees: _"ALRIGHT, I CONFESS!! I GOT PROBLEMS, MAN!! BIG FUCKIN PROBLEMS!! LOOK AT ME, I'M NOTHIN BUT A STUPID HORN DOG WHO CAN'T GO FIVE MINUTES WITHOUT LOOKIN AT SOME PORNO, JACKIN OFF IN MY ROOM, HOOKIN UP AND BREAKIN UP OVER THE COURSE OF 24 HOURS, AND SLEEPIN WITH GIRLS AT EVERY WEEKEND PARTY!! I'VE BEEN LIKE THIS SINCE I WAS SEVEN, GUYS!! SHIT, BACK IN THE HOOD, MY NEPHEW GOT SHOT IN THE ASS AND BECAME A PSYCHO CUZ I WAS OFF FLIRTIN WITH GIRLS INSTEAD OF WATCHIN HIM!! I KNOW WHAT I DO IS BAD, BUT I NEED IT, AND I CAN'T DO NOTHIN ABOUT IT!! I'M JUST GONNA BE A HOPELESS SEX ADDICT FOREVER!!!"_

".... I wouldn't say forever, Paul. _And there is hope for you!"_ Double-D reassures Paul: _"Us friends are here to help you overcome your insatiable hunger for... stimulation,_ so to speak."

"You sure about this?" Eddy asks in Double-D's ear: "Once my brother started doin drugs, he never let it go. Our chances of fixin Paul are as slim as Ed growin a chin."

"We have to try, Eddy." Double-D reasons: _"If Paul continues like this, he could get arrested for sexual charges and voyeurism."_

"Yeh, and I don't want that." Paul worries.

"Now that you mentioned that, I'm in." Eddy resolves.

"Alrighty, then! Ed, grab Paul while I formulate a plan." Double-D tells Ed.

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

Trivia: The biology teacher Mrs. Ellis is named after Kylie Ellis, the show's post-production manager and coordinator. And the Drupes referring to their girlfriends as "flowers" is a reference to the blooming flowers of peach, plum, cherry, almond, and apricot trees.

I need help with ideas for my final episodes, so visit my profile to check them out and PM me if you have anything in mind.


	26. Peeping Ed pt 2

Whew, some of my relatives were near Haiti when the earthquake struck, but thank God none of them got hurt. But for those who were affected, I pray for you all. Anyway, here's chapter 26!!

* * *

From Paul's bedroom, we hear Paul shouting in a panicky tone: "Armpit no, get off me! Gimme my clothes back! I don't wanna do this! Please!"

"I have to because Double-D said so." Ed replies. Then we see Ed holding down the naked Paul on his bed as Eddy comes in with a pair of grills, placing them on each side of Paul's bed. Then Double-D comes in, using large silicon-tipped tongs to carry in a cluster of steel rods, which have been heated bright red!

"Wh-What's this, is this the first step?!" Paul asks with a look of horror in his eyes.

"It is, Paul." Double-D answers as he places the ends of the heated steel rods on the grills, thus positioning the rods just over Paul's private area! Double-D continues: "The first step of our four-step perversion rehabilitation treatment is to suppress your sexual excitement."

Double-D takes out a porn magazine from his pocket, and explains: _"While looking in one of your own magazines, you will have to keep yourself from getting an erection. And should you fail to do so, your... um, how do I put this?..."_

_"Your sausage will be cooked."_ Eddy finishes, and Paul's eyes bug out. Eddy then turns to the audience: _"Warning: major cringe factor here, folks!"_

_"Oh God..."_ Paul panics as he looks at the searing rods just two inches above his (censored) privates. Then Double-D gives the porn magazine to Ed, who shows the contents to Paul while Eddy holds his arms down. Despite his best efforts, Paul cannot take his eyes off the women in the magazine:

_"Ohhh, she's hot!"_ Paul says with sexual lust, but then he remembers the heated rods: "No, no. I can't!"

Ed turns the page. Paul looks away...

"Ed, keep his eyes on the girls." Double-D instructs, and Ed uses one of his hands to turn Paul's head back to the porn magazine.

"Rrrrrrrrr..." Paul can't help but make a pervy grin: "Ah, I just wanna fuck her!" then he feels himself getting an erection, thus he feels the steel rods' heat more! _"Shit! No, no!"_

Ed turns the page, and the frantic Paul closes his eyes to keep his erection from going any further, and Double-D crosses his fingers: _"Please let this work..."_

"Ugh... Uuuugghh..." Paul peeks an eye at the porn page: "Ooo, a gogo dancer!" but then he quickly closes his eye again: _"I can do this! I can- shiiiit, now she's in my head! Ah, ahh, ahhhh!!"_ he shakes and freaks out as he feels his weenir getting ever closer to the heated rods: "Ahhhhhh FUCK, I CAN'T DO THIS!!"

"SUPPRESS IT!!" the Eds shout simultaneously as they keep Paul pinned down, Double-D grabbing Paul's legs by the ankles to keep him from struggling and burning himself.

"OK OK!!!" Paul closes his eyes again, trying not to shake any further: "_Ok Paul, you must... suppress... the boner. Ok, what's somethin that would turn me off? Think of bonerkills, Paul. The biggest bonerkills you could think of!"_

"There you go!" Double-D cheers as Paul slowly-but-successfully suppresses his erection by thinking of things that turn him off. The Eds let go, and Double-D uses his silicon tongs to take the rods off the grills, allowing Paul to sit up. He's bug-eyed and profusely sweating from the whole thing!

"How's it goin in there?" Paul's mom's voice asks from outside Paul's door.

"Everything's fine, Mrs. Stewart!" Double-D answers.

_"Damn son, that was Ray Ray all over again."_ Paul compares the first step of his rehab to his past ordeal with Rachel. "What's the next step? Is it worse?"

"The second step of your rehab treatment is... _to get rid of all your magazines and pictures."_ Double-D answers.

_"ALL of em?!"_ Paul asks as if about to faint, and Double-D bobs yes.

* * *

Paul reluctantly reveals and disposes of every porn magazine and picture hidden in his apartment. He has stashes in his bedroom drawers and closet (among which is a pic of Nazz in her lingerie), his kitchen cabinets, his bathroom shelves and toilet tank, inside the living room sofas, and even his parents' room, where his parents watch. Paul's dad is fat like his wife, and has thin black hair and a moustache. He wears a buttoned yellow shirt with long sleeves, blue jeans, and black shoes. He and his wife are disgusted as their son Paul takes out prn magazines from inside their pillows!

"Jesus Paul, where the hell else you been hidin them magazines?" Paul's dad asks.

"In all the apartments." Paul answers, much to the shock of his parents and the Eds!

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" Double-D asks.

"I'm tellin the truth cuz Mama will whip me if I lie." Paul says.

"Damn right." Paul's mom confirms. "Now get rid of em."

"ALL of em, boy." his dad says.

The Eds help Paul clear his relatives' apartments of his magazines and photos. After finishing, they see a boy in one of the living rooms. He's around Jimmy's age and wears clothes similar to Jonny's.

"Hey, little fella!" Ed approaches the boy, but the boy SCREAMS and hides inside his bedroom.

"DON'T SHOOT ME!! I DIDN'T DO NOTHIN!! JUST GO AWAY!!" the boy yells.

"Is that the nephew of yours who got shot in the ass?" Eddy asks Paul, who answers "Yeah."

They continue outside, where they throw the bags containing the magazines into garbage bins.

_"There, they're all gone."_ Paul says with a quivering lip.

"I know this is hard for you, but it's for the best. Now let's prepare for the third step." Double-D takes Paul to his house. Ed and Eddy follow, but Eddy stops, and he looks back at the bins with a grin...

* * *

The next morning at the bus stop, the boys, Nazz and Jenna see the Eds arrive with Paul, who now has some kind of shock collar around his neck.

"What is that?" Jonny asks.

"A sexual aversion shock collar, ladies and gents." Double-D answers and explains: _"It's set to go off the very moment Paul's hormone levels kick into overdrive, whether it be from gazing upon or thinking about females, telling sexual-themed jokes and innuendo, or anything of the like. And every time it zaps Paul, a point will be added to its zap count._ As cruel as it may be, it'll certainly be effective against hypersexuality of Paul's caliber."

_"Oooooo, I like that!"_ Jenna exclaims, with Nazz giggling at Paul's upcoming and inevitable suffering. With that, everyone boards the bus and go about their school business.

Later, after the ending bell, the Eds and Kevin meet up with Paul again. Paul has numerous burn marks, his du-rag has been ripped to shreds, and his hair is now standing on end, all due to being zapped by the collar so many times during school!

"That can't be good." Ed says, and Double-D checks the collar's zap count:

_"One-hundred-&-twenty-four zaps."_ Double-D reports, causings Ed's, Eddy's and Kevin's eyes to bug out.

"That's the final proof of Paul's problem." Kevin says, to which Double-D replies: "No matter, we'll just repeat this step tomorrow."

"You kiddin me?" Paul asks in disbelief: _"Man, then I hope the fourth step is anti-climactic."_

* * *

The fourth step of Paul's treatment brings him down into Ed's room, where he is seated in Ed's armchair with his arms taped down at the wrists.

"Well Paul, the last three steps have focused on breaking your lust towards the ladies." Double-D reviews. "In this final step, you will do the same."

_"Except this time, the lady will be layin the moves on you."_ Eddy says eerily: _"Can you fight and break your obsession as it tackles you head-on? Live or die, Paul. Make your choice."_

Ed laughs at Eddy's joke, but Double-D snaps his fingers to regain their attention: "Focus please, this is a serious task. Now Ed, go bring the girl in."

"Okey dokey!" Ed goes to get the girl and bring her in. The girl is...

"IT'S SEXY TIME!!" Zoe shouts!! Eddy chuckles while Double-D is shocked: "Zoe?! Ed, you brought ZOE?!"

"No other girl would do it." Ed explains: "And Zoe said she can be real exotic!"

_"Hiya, big boy!"_ Zoe says seductively as she steps towards Paul, rocking her hips and undoing her pigtails to let her hair flow. _"Ready to have a good time?"_

Paul makes a pervy smile but quickly snaps himself out of it: "Don't succumb, Paul. Cray-Z's only twelve; she don't even got tits yet."

Zoe licks her lips as she wraps her arms around Paul and starts stroking and massaging his back, arms and neck. Ed and Eddy giggle!

_"Look into my eyes! What do ya see?!"_ Zoe asks Paul in a sexy tone, tickling Paul's groin to arouse him! Paul is now blushing and sweating, trying to suppress another pervy grin...

_"I... I... I see a WILD GIRL, WHOOOO!! GIVE IT TO ME, BABY!!"_ Paul tells Zoe.

"OK!" Zoe starts rolling her butt against Paul's groin, singing "BOOTY BOOTY ROLL, BOOTY BOOTY ROLL, BOOTY ROLL!!"

"Damn, she's good!" Eddy comments, and Double-D is mortified as Zoe continues her lapdance on Paul:

_"OH YES, YESSSS!!!"_ Paul screams with pleasure!

_"CAN YOU FEEL IT, CAN YOU FEEL IT, CAN YOU FEEL IT?!!"_ Zoe asks as she intensifies her lapdance.

_"I FEEEEEEL IIIIT!!"_ Paul answers, freeing his arms from the tape and throwing them in the air as Zoe continues grinding on him. He screams _"YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAA-"_

Then his joy is ended by a brilliant pain that makes him shed a tear! He got an erection, and Zoe stomped it! Paul limps off the armchair and falls to the floor, holding his you-know-what while yelping in agony!! Eddy and Ed are rolling on the floor, laughing uncontrollably while Double-D is facepalming!

_"I wish I caught that on camera!"_ Eddy says between laughs.

"Oh, did I hurt you?" Zoe asks Paul, kneeling down to him: "Aw, I'm sorry! We'll try again tomorrow, ok?!"

_"Th-Thank you... Cray-Z!..."_ Paul thanks.

* * *

The next day, steps three and four are repeated. This time, Paul got ninety-three zaps from the shock collar during school. And when Zoe gives him another lapdance, he tries harder to control himself. Seeing this, Zoe takes thing up a notch:

"PUCKER UP!!" Zoe plants a big, wet kiss on Paul's lips, causing him to fail the same exact way as before!

The next day, Paul gets zapped fifty-seven times during school, but still miserably fails against Zoe's advances. But this time, he leaps away to avoid Zoe's punishing stomp, much to Ed's and Eddy's chagrin as Ed wanted to record Paul's pain with his webcam!

The next day, Paul gets zapped only sixteen times, impressing his friends and Rolf comments "Impressive, Paul boy! You've come a long way, dawg! Word, yes?!"

And when Zoe comes onto him again, Paul finally manages to suppress his sexual urge!

"WAY TO GO, PAUL!!" the Eds cheer and hi-five Paul, who tries doing a victory dance but falls because Zoe is still humping his leg!

"Zoe, you could stop now." Double-D says while covering his eyes. Zoe replies _"Wait, just gimme another half-minute!"_

* * *

The next day, the Eds and Paul are heading to the mall via the retro van.

"Are you ready for the final test, Paul?" Double-D asks.

"I got it in the bag!" Paul confidently answers as Double-D parks in one of the parking lots, and the four enter the mall. Inside, many girls pass by Paul, but he manages to keep his composure. When they reach a coffee stand named "Java Jilly's," a girl offers iced latte shots on a platter:

"Iced latte, gentlemen?" she asks.

"Thank you!" The Eds each take one, but Paul takes a bit longer as he stares at the girl...

"........ You ok?" she asks.

_"Oh, I'm fine!.... You're real pretty!"_ Paul comments the girl's looks as he takes one shot and goes to catch up with the Eds. When they pass a women's clothing store with lingerie-wearing mannequins standing up front, Paul freezes up again.

"Remember Paul, _suppress it."_ Double-D reminds Paul, who manages to turn away from the mannequins, saying "It's ok, I'm good!"

The boys continue into a pet shop, where Jonny works: "Hey, guys!" he greets while putting a puppy into a petting pen.

While the Eds chat with Jonny, Paul sees a girl kneeling down to look into a lizard tank, showing off her butt in the process. Despite being aroused, Paul contains himself. Then he sees a big-breasted girl at the register, where we see Plank as the cashier!

_"Keep it in, Paul. Don't let yo rehab go to waste."_ Paul mentally tells himself while backing away. Then a female co-worker of Jonny approaches him:

"Hi, are you looking for something?" she asks, but Paul just sweats while staring at her luscious lips. Ed notices this and alerts his fellow Eds and Jonny:

"Guys, _Paul!"_ Ed points to Paul, who answers Jonny's co-worker: _"Nah I was just leavin, babe! Later!"_

Paul runs out of the store, sweating as he struggles to keep his perversion from resurfacing. He runs across into another women's store, where he finds himself surrounded by bras, panties, and other lingerie!

_"Shit!"_ Paul runs out, but he soon spots a poster of a woman posing in a skimpy dress! He makes a pervy grin, but he quickly covers it and sweats more. He runs again, much to the worry of the Eds & Jonny who are chasing him.

"WAIT, PAUL!" Double-D calls, but Paul keeps going until he's stopped by the sight of girls playing in a fountain with wet T-shirts.

_"Oh man, feelin horny!"_ Paul mutters, but he holds his crotch again and runs, with the Eds and Jonny still chasing him.

"PAUL, STOP!" Ed shouts, but Paul rushes up an escalator, and screams at the sight of every girl he encounters on the second floor! When he sees Nazz...

"AAAAHH!!" Paul screams like a girl and runs from Nazz, who looks at the screen in confusion. Paul runs and runs until he reaches a security camera monitor room, where he sees the cameras monitoring women's stores and dressing rooms. Seeing all the women shopping and dressing...

_"No no no no no..."_ Paul panics as he's about to succumb to his bottled-up perversion, but then sees a black girl unconscious on the floor in the "Fitz-n-Wahlgren's" store:

_"THAT'S IT!!!"_ Paul zips to Fitz-n-Wahlgren's, finds the unconscious black girl, _and starts kissing her in the lips. Unknown to him, the Eds, Jonny, Nazz, security guards, and others are watching him do it!! And after several seconds, the girl bursts back to life, knocking Paul back while she takes a breather._

_"You... You saved me!!"_ the black girl thanks Paul, hugging him much to his confusion!

"YAY, PAUL!!" the Eds and Jonny pick up Paul and toss him up-&-down. Paul asks "What did I do?"

_"You saved this young lady's life by performing CPR!"_ a security guard answers.

_"What the hell's CPR?"_ Paul asks.

* * *

Afterwards, Double-D is in Eddy's kitchen, talking to someone on his cellphone: _"But Paul didn't know what CPR was, and he was actually trying to molest Tracy while she was unconscious.................. But still, Tracy loved him for reviving her and she became his girlfriend. So you don't need to worry about him spying on you in the ladie's room anymore, for now at least!...................... Yeah, tell your sisters, too!.... Ok bye, Marie!"_

Double-D ends his call and goes to Eddy's room, where Eddy is reading some porn magazines! Double-D sees Paul's signatures on the magazine covers:

_"Eddy, did you take those from Paul? We were supposed to get rid of those."_ Double-D reminds Eddy.

"Ok, I took some when nobody was lookin. But only because these are real good magazines!" Eddy reasons. _"Besides, Paul won't be needin em anymore!"_

Double-D is appalled at first, but then he just shrugs it off and leaves while Eddy continues looking through porn.

**The End!!!**

* * *

Trivia: Java Jilly's is named after the show's design consultant, Jilly Mentiply. Tracy is named after Tracy Matthews, the show's online editor. And for those who haven't read "Rise of The Gourd," Fitz-n-Wahlgren's is named after Erin Fitzgerald (Nazz's voice) and Kari Wahlgren (my ideal choice for voicing Jenna).

And for those with deviantArt accounts, I have my third Teen Series pic up!


	27. From Ed to Eternity pt 1

To those who were displeased by how I stole that Family Guy joke for my previous chapter, I sincerely apologize for that. It was lack of creativity on my part. I'll try not to do it again, and any parts I do borrow will be tweaked so that it's more of a parody or spoof than a stolen scene or joke.

And on another note, I'm starting community college tomorrow with a major in digital arts & animation. So from now on, I'll be taking special care to publish new chapters like this one on time.

* * *

_**Episode #14: From Ed to Eternity**_

* * *

It's a snowy day in Peach Creek, and the sidewalks and yards are already under six inches of snow! Kyle is on his front lawn, making an ice sculpture of a surfer riding a wave.

"Gnarly sculptin, Kyle!" Kyle comments to himself upon completing his ice sculpture. Nearby, Zoe is burrowing through the snow like a mole while play-chasing her dog Sparky. She surfaces:

"I'm gonna getcha, Sparky!" Zoe leaps at Sparky, who dodges and burrows down through the snow to escape. Zoe chuckles excitedly and tunnels after Sparky to continue the chase, passing Double-D's house as she does so. Inside, Double-D turns on the light to his garage laboratory and walks in, wearing gloves and safety goggles. He grabs some tools to work on his latest invention: an upgraded version of the Hydroelectric Snowspeeder from "EEnE's Holly Jolly Holiday." However, it isn't complete yet. After wrenching and screwing a few internal parts into place, Double-D uses his phone to call Eddy. But Eddy doesn't answer, so Double-D leaves a message:

_"Eddy, Double-D here. I'm leaving this message as a reminder that you promised to assist me with assembling the final version of my Hydroelectric Snowspeeder today. You're an hour late, and so I'd appreciate it all the more if you hurry up with whatever you're doing and come here as soon as possible. Bye!"_

* * *

Eddy is with Kevin and Paul inside a sauna built in Kevin's backyard during the timeskip. They are wearing thongs, and Kevin has a stopwatch:

"How much longer, Kev?" Eddy asks.

_"Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, NOW!"_ Kevin shouts, and the three run dash out of the hot sauna and into the snow!

"HAHAHAHA, IT FEELS SO GOOD, MAN!" Kevin exclaims, strutting through the snow in his thong.

"WHOOO!!" Eddy whoops, doing the same along with Paul. They go out into the middle of the cul-de-sac, where Jimmy sees them while building snowmen:

"MY EYES! THEY'VE BEEN SCARRED!!" Jimmy covers his eyes and runs into his house. Next, Sarah sees Eddy, Kevin and Paul from her living room window:

_"Ugh, gross..."_ Sarah lowers the blinds over the window so she, Ed and their parents don't see Eddy, Kevin and Paul strutting around in their thongs, then she resumes watching TV. Ed, meanwhile, is excitedly running around the house. He's so excited that he runs right up the kitchen wall and across the ceiling!

"Happy day, HAPPY DAY!!" Ed bounces around the living room, eventually bouncing on the sofa Sarah is sitting on, catapulting her up and causing her to hit her head on the cieling. Ed also bounces up and does the same (cracking the ceiling in the process) before falling and landing on Sarah.

"I'm so excited, Sarah!" Ed exclaims.

"GET OFF ME!" Sarah kicks Ed off of her and gets up. "And what are you so excited about?"

"The newest issue of Ravenous Rex came out!" Ed answers. _"It's a limited edition that's only available in stores today. So make haste I must, as the store closes at two, and the early bird catches the...... worm!"_

The time now being noon, Ed zips up and puts on his striped winter hat and gloves. Just as he reaches for the front door, his mom Angela puts a shovel in his way and he grabs it instead:

"Edwin, with your father being sick today, could you be a good boy and shovel the snow in his stead?" Angela asks. "And wipe the snow off the car while you're at it."

"Uh ok, sure!" Ed goes outside to shovel the thick snow. But instead of shoveling, Ed discards it and uses his own faster method: using his mouth to plow through the snow on the lawn path, sidewalk, and driveway (much like he did while eating the jujube trail in "If It Smells Like an Ed"). Then he sucks the snow off the family car, and swallows all the snow he took in with one cartoonishly big gulp. But as he returns to the house, he slips on the lawn path. Getting up, he sees that there's ice under all the snow he ate.

_"Oh, forgot about the ice._ Here ya go, son!" Angela tosses Ed an ice breaker. Ed then starts breaking the ice all around his house, and comes back in when he's done. Inside, he sees that fifteen minutes passed, so he gets going towards the comic book store. While walking down the cul-de-sac, Eddy comes up to him!

"Yo Monobrow, wanna feel invincible?" Eddy offers a thong to Ed: "Just put this on and go warm up in Kevo's sauna, then strut your stuff with us!"

"YEAH, HELP US SPICE UP THIS COLD WINTA WONDERLAND!!" Paul calls from atop one of the lane's fences, posing on it. He is clearly visible from Zoe's backyard, where Zoe's parents Thomas and Laurie see him from their bedroom window (which is facing their backyard)!

"AAAAAAAHHHH!!!" Laurie faints at the sight of the near-naked Paul, while Thomas remarks "Now that's what I call wicked youth! ROCK ON, PAUL!!"

"YOU KNOW IT, MAN!!" Paul replies, and Eddy & Kevin woot. Eddy looks to Ed: "See what I mean?! Join us!"

"Maybe later, guys. I got a comic to buy!" Ed continues on, and Eddy mutters "...... Party-pooper."

Ed is going by Double-D's house when Double-D opens the door and calls to Ed: "Ed! Ed, will you help me out please?"

"Sure! What's it this time?" Ed asks, going to Double-D.

_"Eddy was supposed to be helping me construct my new Hydroelectric Snowspeeder, but it seems he broke the promise with this Indian summer act of his."_ Double-D explains, pointing at Eddy who's having a thong-posing contest with Kevin. "But I know I can always count on you, Ed, so will you help me out instead?"

"Um, will it take long?" Ed asks.

"Not if we move quickly!" Double-D takes Ed to his laboratory, where Ed starts helping Double-D with the Snowspeeder's skin and heavy inner workings.

* * *

Some time later, the Snowspeeder is finally completed. It resembles a sleek four-person bumper car with a blue-&-white paintjob in a flame pattern. It also has a larger sucker in the front to take in more snow for its hydro-powered engine.

"Isn't it marvellous, Ed?!" Double-D asks. "And it only took an hour and ten minutes!"

"An hour and WHAT?!!" Ed asks in alarm, looking at Double-D's lab clock. The time reads 1:25 PM, and Ed stresses "I gotta get to the comics store now and buy the new Ravenous Rex issue before-"

Ed is interrupted when he feels a huge urge to pee. He holds it in: _"Oh man, I really gotta go!_ BATHROOM, BATHROOM!!" Ed tries running to Double-D's bathroom, but he can't hold in his pee long enough: _"I'm not gonna make it!"_

Instead, Ed jumps outside and lets out a very long urination onto Double-D's lawn! His pee melts words into the snow: "I WAS REALLY STUPID TO EAT ALL THAT SNOW EARLIER," indicating that his pee was due to all the snow he ate back at his house. Double-D sees this:

_"HOLY CHRIST, ED!!"_ Double-D recoils at the sight of Ed's pee on his lawn: _"That's what shovels were made for!"_

"How long did I pee?" Ed asks.

_"About five minutes."_ Double-D answers while regaining his composure.

"GAH, _only half an hour!_ _I'll never get to the comics store on time by foot."_ Ed panics. "Double-D, could I use the snowspeeder?"

"Certainly, Ed!" Double-D answers, using a remote to open the garage door. "Just don't crash and wreck it like you did my prototype."

"Thanks a bunch, Double-D!" Ed thanks, hopping into the snowspeeder's driver seat and manuevers it down Double-D's driveway. But then...

"ED!" Sarah shouts from Ed's left. He looks, and sees Sarah coming with Jimmy while warding off Eddy, whom she angrily yells at: "YOU COME NEAR US IN THAT DISGUSTING THONG AGAIN AND I'LL... I'LL..."

Sarah calms herself with the breathing excercise taught by Kyle, then she continues to Ed with Jimmy. Ed asks "What is it, baby sister?"

"Jimmy, Zoe, Kyle and I are goin snowtubing with our other friends at Big Prune Hill, _and Mom said you have to bring us over because walking on icy streets is dangerous."_

"But Sarah." Ed complains: "Could you wait until I get the new-"

"BRING US NOW OR I'M TELLING MOM!" Sarah threatens.

_"Ok ok, come along, ehehe! I'll drop you kids off, no prob!"_ Ed gives in to Sarah's threat, allowing her and Jimmy to take seats in the snowspeeder. Sarah sits shotgun while Jimmy takes a back seat.

"KAWABUNGA, WHOOHOO!" Kyle slides slides towards the snowspeeder on a snowtube while holding three more for Sarah, Jimmy and Zoe. He jumps off his tube and grabs it as he lands in the snowspeeder next to Jimmy, exclaiming: "I got the tubes, dudes! Hey, that rhymes!"

"HEY, MOST WICKED RIDE!" Zoe leaps out from burrowing under the snow, but is seemingly saddened that there's no seat for her: "Oh, there's nowhere for me to sit..... Heh, I'll do lapsies, then! Heeheehee!"

Zoe sits on Jimmy's lap, making him nervous while Kyle chuckles. Zoe then calls "SPARKY!!"

"He's comin, too?" Sarah asks Zoe about Sparky.

"Of course! _Sparky LLLLOVES snowtubin!"_ Zoe answers as Sparky runs up and leaps into the snowspeeder, sitting on Sarah's lap and licking her face, much to her irritation.

"Ok, now that all four of you are on..." Ed steers the snowspeeder onto the street, goes around the corner of the cul-de-sac, and speeds off towards Big Prune Hill.

**To be Continued...**

* * *

Trivia: You know when Zoe's dad said "youth?" I actually based Zoe's dad off Might Guy from the Naruto series, and his appearance, cheerful attitude, and usage of the word "youth" are all references to Guy. The relationship between Zoe and her dad also parodies that of Rock Lee and Guy (respectively) from Naruto.

I guess you can also say that Kevin's sauna in this episode is somewhat of a throwback to "Rent-a-Ed," which also featured a sauna.

I named Big Prune Hill as such because prunes are dried-up plums. And since fruits are juicy and associated with bodies of water in the EEnE universe, I figured that dried-up fruits such as prunes would be associated with landforms such as hills. But just to clear things up, Big Prune Hill is just a hill, not another town if that's what you were thinking.

Also, I have Nazz and Jenna up on deviantArt (username MonkeyPhoenix325 if you don't already know), so if you're interested, check em out!


	28. From Ed to Eternity pt 2

No author's note this time around, so read on.

* * *

Ed steers Double-D's snowspeeder through the snowy streets, taking Sarah, Jimmy, Kyle and Zoe towards Big Prune Hill. Sarah's and Zoe's hair blow in the wind, and Sparky is barking at passing cars. En route to Big Prune Hill, they pass by Rachel's house. A few blocks later, they pass a pharmacy named "Ivanickis" (which parodies Walgreens in appearance, but Ivanickis has a green logo instead of red), standing across from a frozen pond. Big Prune Hill can be seen behind the pharmacy.

"There it is, dudes and babes!_ Big Prune Hill!"_ Kyle points at Big Prune Hill as Ed turns another corner and onto a wooded road to reach it. Sarah's, Jimmy's, Kyle's and Zoe's school friends are snowboarding and snowtubing down the hill's snowy slopes.

"Here we are!" Ed drops off the four kids on a parking lot at the foot of Big Prune Hill, a nearby sign revealing that the hill is actually a part of "J. HOWARD MEMORIAL PARK."

"Yippee, Sparky and I are so excited!" Zoe exclaims while Sparky wags his tail. "This is gonna be a BLAST!!"

"Kyle, you got the camera?" Sarah asks Kyle, who pulls out a videocam and answers "You betcha!"

"LET'S GO!!" Zoe runs up the hill with her snowtube and Sparky, Kyle and Sarah following close behind with their tubes. Jimmy takes his tube last and goes to catch up with the other three, shouting "WAIT FOR ME, GUYS!"

"HAVE FUN, SARAH AND FRIENDS!" Ed waves to Sarah, Zoe, Kyle, and Jimmy before turning the snowspeeder around: "Ok Ravenous Rex, here I come!"

Ed speeds back down into town, passing the pharmacy and frozen pond again as he goes. Sarah, Jimmy, Kyle and Zoe watch Ed go, as the road they took- as well as the Ivanickis pharmacy and the frozen pond- can be seen from the hill. Zoe looks at the frozen pond:

"Hey, looks like we could ride down from the top and go into that pond to skate!" Zoe points at one of the hill's slopes, which goes down past Ivanickis, across the street, and into the frozen pond.

"And get hit by a car while doin it? Forget it." Sarah dismisses Zoe's idea, then Jimmy adds: "And when we passed by that pond earlier,_ the ice looked pretty thin, don't you think, Zoe?..."_

* * *

Meanwhile, Ed is approaching Rachel's house. As he comes closer, he sees Rachel running out through her front door and porch, waving for him to stop. Ed pulls over and stops in front of Rachel.

"Oh Ed, I'm so glad I saw you coming by!" Rachel exclaims.

"Why, do you need me for something?" Ed asks.

"Yeah." Rachel answers and explains: "You see,_ my mom is sick with pneumonia and she can't get out of bed, so I have to stay at her side just in case she needs anything. Her medicine is waiting at Ivanickis. I tried calling the Kankers to get it for me, but Lee is working, Marie is applying for jobs, and Ursula & May are filling out paperwork so May could also apply."_

"Soooo... you want me to get her medicine?" Ed asks.

"Yes, please Ed? This is urgent." Rachel says. "Ivanickis is just a dozen blocks down. I'm sure you passed it. It should just take three minutes to go there and back here."

"Ok, that isn't much time. I'll go." Ed says.

"Thank you so much, Ed!" Rachel thanks as Ed turns around to speed back to Ivanickis.

_"Rachel!..."_ Rachel's mom Nikki calls from her bedroom off-screen.

"Coming, Mom!" Rachel hurries back inside to take care of Nikki.

* * *

Ed arrives at Ivanickis and parks in the parking lot. He hops out of the snowspeeder and rushes into the pharmacy. Inside, music plays as people go around picking various items from the aisles and paying at the registers.

_"Medicine, medicine."_ Ed repeats while looking for the prescription area, which is near the back of the pharmacy. Ed finds it, and waits in one of the long lines. As the line slowly moves, Ed looks at the clock on one of the walls. It reads 1:42 PM, causing Ed to worry inside. When he finally reaches the pharmacist...

"Hello, I'm here to pick up the medicine for Nikki Owens." Ed says.

"Nikki Owens? Wow, this is the first time someone other than her daughter came." the pharmacist says.

"Rachel couldn't come, so she had me do it." Ed explains.

"Ok, I'll give you Nikki's prescription in a moment." the pharmacist goes to get Nikki's medicine. While Ed waits...

"Huh?..." he hears a faint panic from the street outside, which is gradually getting louder. Then the pharmacist returns with Nikki's medicine in a bag.

"Here ya go, and have a nice day!" the pharmacist gives Ed the medicine, then Ed heads outside with it.

* * *

While Ed was in Ivanickis, the snow clouds have given way to sunshine, and upon going outside, Ed sees a crowd of people gathering across the street along the frozen pond. Some are worrying.

_"SPARKY!! SPARKY!!"_ Zoe's panicked voice is heard from within the crowd.

"ZOE, STOP!" Kyle's voice yells, then Sarah yells Zoe's name. Ed goes into the crowd to see what's going on.

"OH, THE HORROR!" Jimmy screams as Ed comes by him.

"What's goin on?" Ed asks, then sees the source of the panic: Sparky somehow ended up in the frozen pond, where he fell through thin ice and is unable to escape because the thicker ice is too high for him to climb. He is about a hundred feet away from the shore.

"We were snowtubing down Big Prune Hill." Jimmy explains: _"Then Zoe and Sparky went down that slope right there."_ Jimmy points to the slope leading down from Big Prune Hill to the street, then continues: _"But Sparky picked up too much speed and he went all the way out into the pond, then he fell through the thin ice."_

Sparky barks and yelps in distress as he frantically tries to climb out. Sarah is holding back Zoe from going out onto the ice to save Sparky.

"LEMME GO, THAT'S MY DOG!!" Zoe screams, kicking Sarah's chin to break her grip. After freeing her self from Sarah, Zoe runs onto the frozen pond. Everyone watches on.

"ZOE, GET BACK HERE!!" Sarah and Kyle yell as Ed and Jimmy come.

_"I've never seen Zoe so serious like this."_ Jimmy comments.

"ZOE, WATCH OUT!" Ed shouts to Zoe, whose weight is cracking the pond ice. Zoe hears Ed, then sees the pond ice crack and break apart into floes. The ice floes drift apart, stranding Sparky in the middle of the pond where he struggles to keep his head above the surface, crying and yelping for help all the while. Meanwhile, Zoe's parents are watching the whole thing on the news, and so are Double-D and Rachel in their respective living rooms.

"Linda Simensky here at Peachtree Pond, where a small dog has fallen through the thin ice." news reporter Simensky reports: "Witnesses say that the dog is a smooth-coated Jack Russell named Sparky, and it appears that his owner Zoe Navarro is out on the ice trying to rescue him."

Zoe takes off her coat (revealing her normal clothes underneath), then approaches the edge of the floe she's on: _"MAMA'S COMIN, SPARKY!!"_

Zoe dives into the freezing cold water and swims towards Sparky.

"Is Zoe insane? _Swimmin in that kinda water with that much skin exposed, she'll get hypothermia for sure!"_ Kyle worries, but Zoe determinedly braves the icy water to grab the fading Sparky and take him back to the ice floe she was on. Ignoring her own wet and freezing self, Zoe wraps the now-numb Sparky in the warm inner lining of her coat.

"Huh?..." Zoe then notices that the ice floe she and Sparky are on is melting away along with all the others due to the sunlight, so she takes Sparky and starts ice-hopping in an attempt to get back to shore. But as the floes melt more and more, Zoe ultimately finds herself standing on one foot on an almost completely molten floe: _"This is so not wicked."_

Then she and Sparky fall back into the freezing-cold water.

"ZOEY!!" Jimmy cries and everyone panics, but Zoe and Sparky quickly resurface. Zoe grabs Sparky again and tries swimming back to shore, but the cold water gets the better of her. She starts to numb and hypothermia kicks in:

_"Must... r-r-reach..."_ Zoe loses her ability to swim thanks to sheer cold, and after a short struggle to stay above the surface, she and Sparky start to sink down. Her parents see this:

_"AAAMMMYYYYY!!!"_ Laurie screams her daughter's real name, while Thomas shouts _"We gotta get over there NOW!!"_ and he jumps outside to start his SUV.

"Zoe and her dog have just sunken under the pond's surface." Simensky reports: "If something isn't done right away, this will end in tragedy."

Ed looks at everyone else. Sarah and Kyle are bug-eyed with worry, and Jimmy is breaking down. Seeing that nobody else will do it, Ed bravely dives into the pond.

"ED!!" Sarah yells for Ed, who swims out to where Zoe and Sparky sunk. He takes a deep breath and dives below. Pond weeds carpet the bottom, and the remains of an old boat can also be seen. After a few seconds of looking around, Ed spots the unconscious Zoe and Sparky...

At the pond's shore, everybody is tensed up, waiting for Ed to surface. He eventually does, with Zoe and Sparky in his arms, and everyone CHEERS!!! Double-D and Rachel, watching from their TVs, are relieved.

_"It's a miracle to behold!"_ Simensky exclaims as Zoe's parents arrive at the scene. They see the crowd cheering as Ed returns with Zoe and Sparky.

"Kick my feet, kick my feet, kick my feet!" Ed kicks his feet through the water until he reaches the shore, where Sarah and Kyle respectively take Zoe and Sparky while Thomas comes and helps Ed out.

* * *

A few minutes later, medical personnel have arrived to revive Zoe and Sparky and treat their hypothermia. Nearby, Ed, with Sarah by his side, is drying off with a towel provided by Thomas from his SUV.

"I don't know how to thank you enough, Ed!_ You saved my daughter's and her dog's lives!"_ Thomas thanks.

"Hehe, I'm just a good guy!" Ed replies.

_"GUYS, ZOE'S OK!!"_ Jimmy exclaims after Zoe is revived, then Kyle adds "SPARKY IS, TOO!"

_"MY HERO!!"_ Zoe jumps onto Ed and smothers his face with kisses.

_"OH, MY BABY!!"_ Laurie pulls Zoe off Ed and hugs her.

"Ok, brother. You're freezing and soaking wet, so let's go home so you can warm up again." Sarah suggests.

"Not now,_ I still got things to do."_ Ed hops back into Double-D's snowspeeder and returns to Rachel's house with Nikki's medicine. Ed rings Rachel's doorbell, and she opens it:

"You're a crazy guy, Ed. I saw everything on the news!" Rachel says as she takes her mom's medicine: "You should get home now and take a warm shower or something. _Oh by the way, tell Eddy, Kevin and Paul that if I see them showing off in thongs again, I'll snap their necks."_

"Will do, after I get the new Ravenous Rex issue." Ed replies while going down the porch stairs, then looks back: _"Wait, what time is it, Rachel?"_

Rachel checks the pendulum clock on her living room wall to see the time: "It's 1:57."

_"HWAAAAH, THREE MINUTES!! HUSTLE, I MUST!!"_ Ed makes a huge leap back into Double-D's snowspeeder and shifts to full speed. He speeds back past the cul-de-sacs and turns onto Main Street (the street with all the stores). After going a long way down the street and passing dozens of shops, he finally reaches the comic book store, named "KRAZY KOMIKZ."

Ed hops out of the snowspeeder with a hopeful smile, but upon reaching the store's front door, he sees a "CLOSED" sign on it. In utter disbelief, Ed looks at the clock on a nearby church (the church mentioned by Rachel in "Music to My Eds"), and it reads 2:04 PM.

_"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"_ Ed cries in despair.

* * *

Later in his living room, Ed has dried off and put on another set of his casual clothes, but he's still warming his feet in a large pot of warm water provided by Double-D.

"I'm very sorry to hear that, Ed." Double-D says after Ed told him about his failure to get the Ravenous Rex comic. _"But I'm still proud of you for risking your life to save Zoe and Sparky! You might just earn a medal for it!"_

"Medal schmedal." Ed dismisses. "That Ravenous Rex issue was a limited edition. LIMITED EDITION! AND I MISSED IT!!" he sobs.

"Now now, Ed. What's most important is that you've done good for others, like helping me assemble the snowspeeder!" Double-D comforts. _"Speaking of which, then again, maybe you could have obtained that comic if the snowspeeder was completed sooner."_

_"Sooner..."_ Ed repeats, anger filling his eyes. At that moment, Eddy (still wearing his thong) comes in laughing: "AHAHAHA!! GUYS, GET A LOAD OF KEV'S-"

"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!" Ed lunges at Eddy, who screams and jumps to dodge Ed's attack.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT, ED?!" Eddy asks, getting up.

"IF YOU HELPED DOUBLE-D WITH THE SNOWSPEEDER LIKE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO, I WOULD'VE GOTTEN RAVENOUS REX IN TIME!!" Ed answers, his eyes spiraling with rage and his hair flaming, scaring Double-D:

"Oh, God! TAKE COVER!!" Double-D hides behind the sofa.

"NO RAVENOUS REX BAD FOR ED!! _BAD FOR EDDY!!"_ Ed yells as his shadow looms over Eddy: _"ED WILL DO RACHEL A FAVOR AND SNAP EDDY'S NECK!!!"_

_"HOLY SHIT!! AAAAAAAHHH!!!"_ Eddy legs it and the raging Ed chases him through a wall and through the snow outside!!

**The End!!!**

* * *

Trivia: J. Howard Memorial Park is named after Jono Howard, one of the show's writers. News reporter Simensky is named after one of the show's production executives, Linda Simensky. And the Ivanickis pharmacy is named after Ginny Ivanicki, the show's background artist.

Also, I have Kevin, Jonny, Rolf and Paul up on deviantArt (if you still don't know my username, it's near the bottom of the Teen Series section of my profile, just above the "Ideas" part. Speaking of ideas, I'm still needing a bit of help with those).


	29. EEnE's Lovey Dovey Lugaboo pt 1

Sorry I was late posting this, but my algebra teacher gives me tons of homework. But this here is my VALENTINES SPECIAL, so I hope you enjoy the romance!!

* * *

Double-D's alarm clock hits 6:15 AM as he comes into his room from showering, wearing his bathrobe. Double-D dresses into his usual clothes (plus his school tie), sprays himself with cologne, grabs his backpack, then takes out a heart-shaped box of "Molissee's Chocolates" from inside one of his desk drawers. It has a Valentine ribbon tied around it, and is labeled "To Marie, From Eddward." He heads out of his room with the chocolates, passing his whiteboard as he goes. Drawn on his whiteboard are red hearts and kiss marks, surrounding the episode's title:

* * *

_**Ed, Edd n Eddy's Lovey Dovey Lugaboo!!!**_

* * *

Snow flurries down onto the PCH courtyard, where numerous couples are hugging, kissing, and giving chocolates and other Valentines Day gifts. Paul and his new girlfriend Tracy (the black girl he saved in "Peeping Ed") are making out on one of the benches. Jenna, meanwhile, has her hair wavy, but is mostly covered by her coat's hood. And Nazz has hers tied back in a French twist, so she has earmuffs instead of her usual winter hat.

"You think Ian will like my hair in this style?" Nazz asks Jenna.

"You still obsessin over Ian?" Jenna asks.

"I can't help it. He's so dreamy!" Nazz exclaims.

"As much of a sex god he may be, Ian hasn't ever talked to you one-on-one, nor did he with any other girl. He only likes their company; that's how he's been ever since he transferred here in September." Jenna says: "I don't know how the hell he could go around with all those girls tryin to get their mouths on his cock all day. And frankly Nazz, it ain't worth fightin all of em just to win over Ian. So think with your head, girl, not your heart."

Jenna then realizes that Nazz ignored her and continued on, and Jenna shouts: "FINE, IGNORE ME! Ugh..."

Jonny watches Nazz as she runs towards Ian, who's already surrounded by a dozen other fangirlish girls.

_"Damn, Nazz is real pretty today!"_ Jonny marvels at Nazz, then hears Plank: "............... Oh will you stop, Plank? I know it's been over four years, but Nazz is really hard to talk to. I tried.................. No, I don't need your help, Plank. _I said I'd do it on my own."_

Meanwhile, Ed and Double-D join the goth boys at the student parking lot to wait for the Kankers and Rachel to arrive. As the goths boys smoke cigarettes, Double-D fans the smoke away with his hand.

"So, what did you two get for your sweethearts?" Sean asks after puffing smoke.

"Assorted chocolates!" Double-D shows the chocolates he got for Marie.

"May has a thing for tasty art!" Ed reveals a whole bunch of chicken, hotdogs & buns, and patties on his jacket's inner lining. All the meats have love quotes written with ketchup and mustard.

"There they are." Bill points at Rachel's arriving car. She parks and steps out with the Kankers.

"EEEEEEE!!" May rushes towards Ed and jumps onto him: "HOW'S MY LAMBCHOP?!"

"Here's the macaroni art you wanted!" Ed takes out a macaroni picture (a throwback to "Ed Overboard") from his jacket's pocket for May. The macaroni picture shows ghost versions of Ed and May embracing, and is titled "MY BOOOO!!"

"See May, we're ghosts! Get it?!" Ed asks, and May chuckles.

"That's very creative, Ed!" Double-D comments, then Marie wraps her arms around him in a tight hug, kissing his cheek: _"Happy Valentines Day, dreamboat!"_

_"And, um... Happy Saint Valentines to you, Marie!"_ Double-D squeezes one of his arms out of Marie's hug to show her the chocolates he got for her: "They're Molissee's Chocolates, your favorites!"

"Awwww! How did you know they're my favorites?" Marie asks, taking the chocolates.

"Lee told me." Double-D answers, pointing to Lee who gives a thumbs up. But then Rachel notices Lee frowning:

"Oh Lee, I know how you feel." Rachel sympathetically tells Lee, putting her hand on Lee's shoulder: "You're thinking about Eddy, aren't you?"

".... Yeah." Lee answers. Rachel pats her shoulder.

"Don't give up. _Kankers never give up, and I believe in you two!"_ Rachel says.

* * *

The bell rings for everyone to go inside. When Rolf comes in, he pulls out the lemons again and sprays their juice into his eyes! His eyes dramatically swell up and turn red!

"ROLF WILL NOW CHECK FOR ANY POSSIBLE PRESENCE OF MOUNTAIN SPRITES FROM VALHALLA!!" Rolf declares, pulling two mops out of his pockets and searching around for mountain sprites as his peers go through their lockers.

Later, once the students are in their homerooms, Principal Antonucci does the morning announcement:

_"Good morning and Happy Valentines Day, students and staff! Please stand for the Pledge of Allegiance."_ all the students do the Pledge of Allegiance, then sit back down. Antonucci continues: _"Now as already said, today is Valentines Day, which means the Eighteenth Annual Love Doves Dance will be held in the gym from six to ten-o-clock tonight. We'll have a DJ, a photo booth, and refreshments will be served. Those who are attending must sign on the Love Doves Dance list and purchase tickets in the Student Store. That's all for now. Have a good day!"_

In the time between homeroom and first-period classes, students rush towards the student store near the cafeteria. Then we hear Eddy in the crowd:

"Outta my way, freshman! Eddy McHunk's comin through! Make way, people!" Eddy shoves his way through his peers until he reaches the line for the Love Doves sign-up list on the student store's window. Ed and Double-D are in front of him:

"Hey! Glad you're goin, boys!" Eddy jumps between his fellow Eds, putting his arms around their shoulders: "So who's your dates?"

"I'm takin Marie, Eddy!" Double-D answers!

_"..................... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"_ Eddy falls over in hysterical laughter: "Yeah, and the moon's made of green cheese, right?! Ahahaha! That was a good one, Sockhead! So lemme guess, Monobrow: you're takin May?"

"Will you laugh if I say yes?" Ed asks.

"Of course not!" Eddy answers.

"Ok, then! Yes I'm takin May!" Ed declares, and Eddy goes "GYAHAHAHAHA!!!" again, stretching out his cheeks and pulling his tongue on the floor as he laughs stupidly hard!

_"Man, you guys are hilarious!"_ Eddy says, getting up: "Ok, I think I know who you're really takin! Ed, I bet you're takin Jill, right, since you two are total scifi freaks! And I bet you're goin with that emo girl, right Double-D? I mean come on, she does have a sweet ass!"

"You mean Rachel? She already has a date, Eddy." Double-D says. "His name is Jacob and they've been going out for a month already."

"Whatever! I'll just wait til the dance to see who you bring!" Eddy says, then he sees Lee behind a corner, motioning for Eddy to come. After hesitating for a moment, Eddy goes over: "What is it, Lee?"

"I just wanted to say I'm done with you." Lee says, and Eddy is visibly surprised. _"After chasin and abusin you for five years, I realized it's too late to make up for what I did. So yeah, I'm movin on."_ but then Lee gives him a note: "But Nazz wanted me to give this to you. She wants you again."

Lee gives Eddy the note from Nazz, and he reads it:

_"Dear Eddy,_

_I know we broke up two years ago, but I couldn't stop thinkin about you lately. I want you again, and I wanna go to the dance with you. I'm busy right now, but I'll sign up our names on the list and buy our ticket later on. I'll meet you right outside the gym when the dance starts. See ya there, hun!_

_xox Nazz!!"_

"....... HA, I knew she couldn't break up with me forever!" Eddy exclaims, then he continues on his way while Lee just watches on.

* * *

Later, during lunch, Nazz and Jenna are eating with their girl group when Kevin comes up, holding something behind his back. He pokes Jenna's shoulder so she turns around.

"Hey, Jenn!" Kevin greets with a drop of sweat. He reveals what he held behind himself: a rose for Jenna! He asks:

_"Jennifer Flores, will you be my Valentine?!"_

_"Awwww!!"_ Nazz and the other girls awe.

_"Ohhhh, Kevin!..."_ Jenna blushes, getting up to hug Kevin: "Ok, I'll be your Valentine and you'll be mine! _But ONLY until tomorrow."_

_"Suuure, till tomorrow!"_ Kevin sarcastically replies with a grin as Jenna takes his arm and leads him out of the cafeteria with her.

"I love their relationship!" Sheranne says.

_"Oh my God, here comes Ian!"_ Nazz exclaims in a high-pitched, fangirl-like voice as Ian and his "harem" come along. But this time, _Ian's girls all have swirly pink eyes._

Meanwhile, the boys cheer for Kevin as Jenna takes him to sign up for the Love Doves Dance, then Eddy finishes his meal. As he heads to the trash cans to throw away what's left on his tray, he sees Marie and Sean throwing out their lunch remains while chatting, then they return to the other Kankers and goths. Eddy dumps his lunch remains into the same can Marie and Sean dumped theirs into, and something catches Eddy's eye...

It's the box of chocolates Double-D gave Marie. Marie already ate all of the chocolates, _but Double-D's label is still on it._ Seeing this, Eddy's eyes bug out, and he looks back towards his table. But Double-D and Ed are gone...

* * *

After the ending bell rings, everyone heads outside again. Ian relaxes on a bench while his "harem" touch and massage him as they giggle. Sheranne, Christine and all the other girls who ate with Nazz and Jenna are now in his harem, giggling with swirly pink eyes. A girl walks by, and Ian calls her:

_"Hey, sweet cheeks! Come here!"_ Ian motions for the girl to come over, and he makes a sexy smile towards her. The girl blushes, _then her eyes turn pink and start swirling. She giggles and goes to sit with Ian, becoming the newest girl in his harem._ Then Nazz runs over with a Love Doves Dance ticket.

"OH IAN, IAN!!" Nazz stops in front of Ian, _and it's revealed that she too is now part of Ian's harem! "Like, I got a ticket for us to go to the dance together!"_

"Thank you very much, Nazzie!" Ian takes the ticket with a devilish smirk. Several benches away, Lee, Rachel, and Rachel's boyfriend Jacob (he has black hair, a pointy nose, and a green coat) watch Ian and his girls. Lee is smoking a cigarette.

"There's somethin about that guy. _Somethin I don't like."_ Lee says, indicating Ian by pointing her cigarette towards him.

"Yeah." Rachel agrees: _"Doesn't the fact that he transferred to a different school each year make you feel uneasy?"_

"I have algebra class with him." Jacob says: "One day, we had a test and he failed it. And you know what happened next? _Mrs. Danzo got all googly-eyed over him and she passed him."_

_"He seduced Mrs. Danzo?!"_ Rachel asks, surprised along with Lee. Meanwhile, Marie is smoking a cigarette as Double-D meets up with her.

"I got our ticket to the dance!" Double-D shows their Love Doves ticket.

"Heehee, you're such a gentleman!" Marie says, puffing a heart-shaped cloud of smoke towards Double-D, who blows it away with a fan he took out from his backpack.

"Please don't do that again, Marie. I abhor cigarette smoke." Double-D tells Marie, then...

"AHA!!" Eddy catches Double-D with Marie, and he pulls out a giant magnet ("Hands Across Ed") from his pocket via hammerspace! The magnet attracts Marie's piercings, drawing her through the air and sticking her to the magnet with a loud CLANG!

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, DOUBLE-D?!! HMM?!" Eddy asks angrily.

"EDDY, LET ME EXPLAIN!" Double-D shouts, running towards Eddy.

_"What's there to explain? YOU WERE GOIN TO THE DANCE WITH A FUCKIN KANKER!!"_ Eddy yells.

"I told you before, Eddy..." Double-D explains: _"Marie and I have grown close and became an item. Sure she may be a tad overbearing and sour on the outside, but she's really sweet on the inside! Lee and May aren't all that bad either, and-"_

"WHAT?! AFTER EVERYTHING MARIE DID TO YOU, YOU FUCKIN FORGAVE AND FORGOT ALL THAT SHIT?!" Eddy asks.

"ARE YOUR EYES REALLY THAT JAUNDICED, EDDY?!" Double-D asks in retaliation. "LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, MISTER! _YES, I FORGIVE MARIE FOR EVERYTHING SHE DID TO ME WHEN WE WERE YOUNG, AND NOT JUST BECAUSE SHE REDEEMED HERSELF BY PROVING THAT SHE TRULY CARED!! IT TAKES STRENGTH TO FORGIVE, AND I WAS STRONG ENOUGH TO DO SO! SO IN THAT RESPECT, I'M EVEN STRONGER THAN YOU ARE! I CHOSE TO BE WITH MARIE, EDDY!! AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, THAT'S TOO DAMN BAD!!"_

"YOU TELL HIM, HONEY!" Marie cheers, then Eddy tosses her aside.

_"No, Double-D... You're the one with jaundiced eyes. YOU, NOT ME! YOU AIN'T STRONG! YOU'RE WEAK, SO WEAK YOU FELL FOR A KANKER'S CHARM!!"_ Eddy yells before running off and calling out "ED!! MONOBROW, WHERE ARE YA?! WE GOTTA HELP DOUBLE-D!!"

Eddy checks all around the courtyard, but Ed isn't around. He's not on the school bus either, so Eddy searches all over Peach Creek for Ed.

* * *

By sunset, Eddy still hasn't found Ed and has decided to head back home. But en route to his house, he hears guitar music from nearby. Eddy looks, and sees that the music is coming from a treehouse up in the playground's tree. The treehouse has hearts painted on it, and has a sign above the entrance: "JIMMY CUPID'S CUDDLIN CAFE OF LOVE." Next to the name is a cupid logo.

"Huh?..." Eddy hears Ed's and May's voices up in JCCCOL, so he climbs up the rope ladder and goes inside. Inside, he sees Kyle sitting on a small stage, singing a romantic guitar song while Sarah and Zoe dance to it in pink dresses. The whole performance is for Ed and May, who are eating together at one of three tables, all of which have cushion chairs! They also have a great view of the sunset from the treehouse's window. Ed is wearing a black-&-pink tux, while May has a pink dress with her hair tied into a fancy bun.

"Good evening, Eddy!" Jimmy greets, wearing a fancy red-&-pink suit. "Do you have a Valentine, as Jimmy Cupid's Cuddlin Cafe of Love is for couples only."

Eddy ignores Jimmy, instead foaming at the mouth as he sees Ed slurp up spaghetti with May. Just as they're about to have a Lady-&-the-Tramp-style kiss, Eddy tackles Ed off his chair and to the floor.

"This can't be good." Kyle says.

"NOT YOU TOO, ED!!" Eddy yells in anguish. "YOU'RE DATING MAY?!"

"Yeah!" Ed shows his and May's Love Doves ticket: "We're goin to the dance after this!"

"FAT CHANCE!!" Eddy throws May out through the window, prompting Sarah to angrily attack Eddy, thrashing him around and knocking him out through one of the treehouse's walls. Eddy falls to the ground.

"MY CAFE!" Jimmy screams at the damage done to his cafe, mostly done by Eddy's and Sarah's fight.

"MAY, SPEAK TO ME!" Ed asks as he jumps down through the treehouse's window to tend to May. She answers: "I'm ok, but now Mom has to sew my dress back together."

"SCREW OFF, EDDY! WHY CAN'T YOU LET MY BROTHER BE HAPPY?!" Sarah asks from the hole she made when she knocked Eddy through.

"HOW CAN YOU BE OK WITH ED DATIN A KANKER?!" Eddy asks back, and Sarah answers: "I'VE KNOWN ABOUT IT SINCE THEY FIRST GOT TOGETHER, IDIOT!"

_"Oh God..."_ Eddy utters in disbelief:_ "..... You need help, Ed. You and Double-D BOTH need help!"_

Eddy runs off to get help. After he goes, Zoe amorously grabs Jimmy: _"So Jim Jim, you wanna make out?!"_

* * *

Eddy sees Rolf at the corner of the first cul-de-sac: "ROLFY! Ed and Double-D fell for Kankers!"

"Ah, Rolf is well aware of that." Rolf replies, and Eddy jumps onto his chest, tugging on his shirt as he asks:

_"Is it because of those mountain sprites you talk about every Valentines Day?"_ Eddy asks. _"We gotta get rid of those pixies so we can split my buds and the Kankers apart."_

"That's not the case this time, homie." Rolf pulls Eddy off himself. _"The Ed boys' and Kanker girls' union formed long before today. The mountain sprites have nothing to do with it."_

Eddy spazzes out more, leaving Rolf and running to Kevin's house. He bangs on the front door and Kevin quickly opens it, revealing that he's getting ready for the dance. He's adjusting his black-&-pink tux.

_"Kevin, Ed and Double-D are dating May and Marie."_ Eddy informs.

"I know." Kevin replies, causing Eddy's jaw to drop to the ground. Kevin explains: "Yeah dude, I reacted the same exact way when Jonny told me and everyone else. But hey, my dad said 'That's high school, son.'"

_"But..."_

"Just relax, Eddy. _Shit happens, man._ _Now excuse me, I gotta get ready for the dance."_ Kevin closes his door.

_"That's it. This calls for drastic measures."_ Eddy says, rushing through the lane and down several blocks from there. He goes up to a house and rings the doorbell, which makes a fangirl scream. Ian opens the door:

"Hey, Eddy!" Ian greets.

"Ian, I need your help to get May and Marie Kanker off my friends' asses." Eddy says. "Ed and Double-D got brainwashed, I tell ya!"

_"So you want me to brainwash May and Marie with my irresistable hotness?"_ Ian asks, and Eddy bobs yes. But Ian responds: _"Sorry, man. Smokers will screw over my sexy voice, and buckteeth just turn me off."_

_"Please, Ian?!"_ Eddy begs, offering a twenty-dollar bill: _"I'll pay ya handsomely if you do!"_

"Hmm.... _Make that a hundred bucks, and we got a deal!"_ Ian says, and Eddy quickly pays up.

"Thanks a bunch, man! Now I gotta go get ready for the dance!" Eddy hurries to dress up.

* * *

Later on, the Love Doves Dance in the PCH gym has begun and is in full swing. There's a red-pink-&-white disco ball. The tables have red, pink, and white cloths on them. And giant cardboard hearts and arrows are hanging on the gym's walls and ceiling. The walls are also adorned with red, pink and white balloons. Jenna, wearing a pink dress and shoes to match Kevin's tux, is happily grinding on Kevin on the dance floor with several other couples. Jonny and Steve (the QB and Christine's boyfriend from "Ed Stroke" and "Green Around the Eds") are sitting on the sidelines, both wearing black-&-red. Jonny also has a fancy black hat with a red band. Steve notices that Jonny doesn't have Plank with him.

"Hey Jonny, where's your buddy?" Steve asks.

"He's watchin a movie with his girl, Planketta." Jonny answers. _"But I didn't want him here anyway to prove I don't need his help talkin to Nazz."_

"I heard Nazz is comin with Ian." Steve says. "So how did you get in here without a date?"

"I used a dummy." Jonny answers. "..... Wait, what? She's with Ian?" Jonny asks, and Steve bobs yes. Jonny's face becomes serious: "Nazz is with Ian Valentine....._ For some reason, somethin ain't right about that. It's not that I'm jealous. It's just that there's somethin not right about Ian."_

Meanwhile, Rachel is eating with her date Jacob at a table. Rachel is wearing a full-length red dress and red elbow-length gloves, and replaced her normal flower hairclip with a red rose clip. Jacob is wearing red-&-black.

"There's Ed and May!" Rachel points at the arriving Ed and May, and motions them to come over. Just outside the gym, Double-D and Marie are heading in while Lee stays in the hallway near the gym's entrance. Double-D wears red-&-black while Marie wears a knee-length red dress that reveals the piercings on her chest and upper back, and the back of her hair is tied into a bun. Lee wears a sparkly red dress without shoulder straps and she has the front of her hair in one huge curl that reveals both her eyes! She also has red lipstick.

"Are you coming, Lee?" Double-D asks.

"She said she's waitin for Eddy, now come dance with me!" Marie pulls Double-D in to dance.

"Wait, I'm not a good dancer!" Double-D panics, trying to break out of Marie's grasp. Meanwhile, Ed, Kevin, and the barefoot May & Jenna are taking a picture together at the photo booth. Ed and Kevin symetrically pose on their knees while May and Jenna smile with their elbows on their respective boys' shoulders. The photographer tells them "Say 'Hullaballoo!'"

_"Hullaballoo!"_ Ed, Kevin, May and Jenna say in unison, and the camera flashes. Meanwhile, Marie, who also removed her shoes, is teaching Double-D how to grind:

"Ok muffin, just get behind me and keep your hands on my waist." Marie instructs.

_"But Marie, I'm really uncomfortable with this kind of physical contact."_ a sweaty Double-D says nervously.

"You gotta learn it cuz I'll be grindin on you _alot_ whether you like it or not." Marie replies, moving Double-D's hands to her waist. "Now let's try it!"

Marie starts grinding on Double-D, and he utters _"Oh God..."_

_"Relax, DD! Just move along with her!"_ Paul tells Double-D from nearby. Double-D looks to see Paul and Tracy grinding, both wearing pink. Tracy puts her hand on Paul's cheek as she grinds on him.

_"Ok, just move along with her, Eddward..."_ Double-D mentally tells himself as Marie grinds on him. Meanwhile, Eddy arrives in the school, wearing a red-&-black tux with a matching hat. He reaches the gym hallway to meet up with Nazz, but she isn't there, so he calls out "Nazz, I'm here!"

"GOTCHA!" Lee grabs Eddy from behind.

"WHAT THE FUCK?! YOU'RE NOT NAZZ!" Eddy shouts, trying to wrestle free.

"Nazz didn't write the note. _Ed did to help me out!"_ Lee reveals.

"GODAMMIT, I FORGOT ED'S STUPID COPYING ABILITY!" Eddy scolds himself. "ACK, NOW GET OFF ME, KANKER!"

"COME ON! _JUST FOR TONIGHT, AT LEAST!"_ Lee persists, wrestling Eddy to the floor and repeating whenever he reverses the situation to escape. Inside the gym, Steve wonders:

"Hmm, what's takin Christine so long to get here?" he asks. Meanwhile, Double-D and Marie are getting punch.

"I'm takin a little break. I'll be back." Marie leaves Double-D, putting her shoes back on and grabbing her hoodie to go outside. As she leaves the gym, Eddy and Lee are wrestling their way in.

* * *

Marie puts her hoodie on as she goes outside. She drapes her hood over her head, and takes out her cigarette pack. She pulls one out, but then she discovers that she doesn't have her lighter.

"Shit, I must've left my lighter at home." Marie realizes, then someone else lights her cigarette for her, surprising her. She turns around to see it was Ian who lit it, and his entire brainwashed harem is behind him! The moonlight shines eerily down upon the shadowy Ian and his harem...

"Ian?..." Marie asks in surprise as Ian comes closer, greeting in a sexy tone: _"Helloooo Mariiieee!"_

* * *

Back in the gym...

"RRAAHH!!" Eddy frees himself from Lee and lunges at Ed, knocking him to the ground: _"WHY'D YOU TRY SETTIN ME UP WITH LEE?!"_

"Well, me & May and Double-D & Marie are together, _so Double-D and me wanted to get you with Lee!"_ Ed answers.

_"ARE YOU KIDDIN ME?!"_ Eddy strangles Ed as Double-D and May try pulling him off. Jonny, Kevin & Jenna, Paul & Tracy, Rachel & Jacob, and Steve watch the drama unfolding.

"GET OFF HIM!!" May yells at Eddy while pulling him off Ed, but Eddy suddenly turns and pimp-slaps her! Double-D, Lee and Rachel gasp! Kevin & Jenna are also shocked, but Paul is grinning in amusement!

_"THAT'S IT, EDDY!!_" Ed, enraged by Eddy hitting May, grabs Eddy and SLAMS him, smashing him through the floor a bit in the process! This wipes the sadistic grin off Paul's face!

"WHOA WHOA WHOA!!" Kevin, Paul, Steve, Rachel, Jacob, Double-D and Lee all grab Ed, finally restraining him after he gets a few angry punches on Eddy.

_"People, there's nothin to see here!"_ Jonny and Jenna try clearing people away from Ed and Eddy's fight. Double-D helps the bruised Eddy up, and Eddy's tux is torn.

_"HURT MAY A THIRD TIME, EDDY!! DO IT, I DARE YOU!!"_ Ed screams, red with rage.

"ARMPIT, CHILL!!" Paul tells Ed, holding Ed's right arm with Steve and Jacob while Kevin and Rachel hold his left arm. Lee is tending to May, who's holding her slapped cheek in pain.

_"Eddy, we need to have a serious talk."_ Double-D tells Eddy, starting to escort him out of the gym.

Just then, Ian comes through the doors with his harem!! Now in clear light, we see Ian wearing a red-&-pink tux with a matching hat, and his girls are wearing red and pink dresses.

_"Ian Valentine!!"_ Everyone says simultaneously at Ian's grand entrance. Then Eddy notices Nazz among Ian's girls!

_"Nazz?!..."_ he asks in shock.

_"Christine?!..."_ Steve asks, equally shocked at seeing the brainwashed Christine.

Double-D gasps:_ "...... Marie?!..."_

_"I... love... Ian!"_ Marie has been brainwashed by Ian's hotness!!

**To be Continued....**

* * *

Trivia: Molissee's Chocolates are named after one of the show's storyboard artists, Raven Molissee. Mrs. Danzo is named after one of the producers, Christine Danzo. And the name of Rachel's boyfriend, Jacob, is a reference to the Old Testament in the Bible. In the Old Testament, Rachel was the favorite wife of Jacob. But my OC Jacob will only be in this episode as a plot device to have Rachel attend the dance.

Stay tuned for Part 2!!


	30. EEnE's Lovey Dovey Lugaboo pt 2

Whew, this one took me forever to complete, and I sincerely apologize for being so late. But EEnE's LDL is complete and ready to be read! Oh and I forgot to mention this last chapter, but the Kankers and Rachel are up on my deviantArt if you wanna see them!

* * *

Ian smirks as he walks into the gym with his brainwashed harem.

"Hold up, I thought Grungy Blue and Strawberry were with DD and QB." Paul says, confused at how Marie and Christine are with Ian.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOIN WITH MY GIRL?!" Steve angrily asks Ian.

_"Wh-What's going on here?"_ Double-D asks . "Marie?... MARIE, CAN YOU HEAR ME?! PLEASE RESPOND!"

"WHAT IS THIS, IAN?!" Eddy asks. "I ONLY PAID YA TO TAKE MARIE AND MAY, NOT ALL THE GIRLS!"

Ed, Double-D, Lee, May and Rachel are shocked by what Eddy just revealed!

"NO!! FUCK YOU, EDDY! I'M STAYIN WITH ED!!" May holds onto Ed.

"Normally, I would let you be, May. But Eddy's right; _I was paid to take you!"_ Ian says, rolling his sexy eyebrows at May. She looks at Ian's sexy rolling eyebrows...

"Ian... _Oh, IIIaaannn!..."_ May's eyes become pink and swirly!

"May?..." Ed looks at May smiling at Ian, then she throws Ed aside and runs towards Ian.

"MAY, NO!" Lee tries getting May, but Rachel stops her: "It's too late. Ian got her."

"Now for the rest of you girls..." Ian begins: "As a Valentine, I was born with far greater sex appeal than normal men. So why work at all, _when you can always have women around to do it for you?! I have my girls do all my schoolwork, and I also have em do all my dirty work at home! And on Valentines Day, I have em work their bodies for my amusement! And with that, mi ladies, it's time to pleasure me!"_

"GIRLS, DON'T LOOK AT HIM!" Rachel warns all the unbrainwashed girls.

"You heard Ray Ray, Tracy! Let's get...... _Tracy?"_ Paul sees that Tracy's already been brainwashed. "NO!"

Paul tries shaking Tracy back to her senses, but she kicks Paul away and joins Ian.

"STAY AWAY FROM OUR GIRLS!!" Kevin yells, lunging at Ian with Ed, Paul and Steve. But Ian's girls grab them.

"NOW I KNOW WHY YOU ALWAYS TRANSFER FROM SCHOOL-TO-SCHOOL!" Kevin figures out while breaking free of the girls: "BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS GOT THE LIVING SHIT BEAT OUT OF YOU FOR STEALIN OTHER BOYS' GIRLFRIENDS! AND GUESS WHAT, IT'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN AGAIN!!"

"You're right about me stealin other guys' babes." Ian admits. "But you're wrong when you say it's gonna repeat. You see, I learned how to use my girls better!"

Ian uses his girls to shield him from Kevin, Ed, Paul and Steve. Then Ian says _"Grab em, girls!"_

The girls grab Kevin, Ed, Paul and Steve and start taking them away.

"KEVIN!" Jenna moves to help Kevin, but Ian has his girls grab her. As Ian removes his hat to reveal his shiny combed hair to Jenna, Rachel grabs her leg and yanks her free from the brainwashed girls' grasp.

"Are you ok, Jenn?" Rachel asks, but Jenna turns to reveal she's been brainwashed by Ian's charm!

_"Ian's HOT!"_ Jenna lunges at Rachel, who goes "Shit!" and KICKS Jenna in the eyes, giving her blackeyes and sending her flying out through a wall! Meanwhile, more and more girls are are subjected to Ian's hotness and they fall for him, and so his harem gets bigger and bigger. The boyfriends try taking their girls back, but Ian's harem quickly subdues them.

"NO!! JENN, JENNA!!" Kevin's screams are drowned out by Ian's girls pinning him down, but Ed continues struggling against them.

"WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!" Lee yells to Rachel, who gets grabbed by the brainwashed Nazz, May and Marie.

"RACHEL!" Jacob tries helping Rachel, but more of Ian's girls beat him down and take him away.

"AGH!" Rachel struggles against Nazz, May & Marie. She punches and kicks Nazz & May off her, then subdues the tougher Marie by reversing her hold and slamming her. But then more girls grab Rachel.

"RACHEL, CATCH!" Lee pulls out her swordfish from inside her dress, and tosses it to Rachel. Rachel grabs it as the brainwashed girls bring her to Ian.

"Now Rachel, let me have your ass!" Ian has one of his girls blow a fan at him to make his fair flow and seduce Rachel. But Rachel is surprisingly unaffected!

_"Pretty faces don't work on me, buddy._ HAH!" Rachel swooshes Lee's swordfish at Ian, cutting off some of his hair! Seeing this, Ian gasps and freaks out. Some of his girls see his wrecked hair, and they appear to lose interest in him!

_"That's it!"_ Rachel discovers Ian's weakness.

"NO!!" Ian panics and quickly reaches for his hat. He puts it back on and quickly uses his sexy face to re-brainwash the girls he lost, then he has them grab Rachel who was trying to escape.

"I'M COMIN, RACHEL!" Lee fights through Ian's girls to save Rachel, who's held in place for Ian to approach.

"So pretty faces don't work on you, eh? _How about a pretty body, then?!"_ Ian takes off his suit and opens up his shirt, revealing his sexy haired chest and finely toned abs! His body shines for dramatic effect!

"RACHEL, NO!! LOOK AWAY!!" Lee yells.

"I CAN'T!" Rachel replies, her face being held in place to look at Ian. Then she falls for him, her normal voice becoming much higher-pitched: _"HE'S SOO BEAUTIFULLLL!!!"_

At that moment, Lee finally grabs Rachel and tugs against Ian's girls to take her. At the same time, Ed frees himself from Ian's girls. Ian tries using his girls to keep Ed in check, but he overwhelms them. To counter this, Ian focuses more of his girls into keeping Ed down, freeing Eddy and Double-D and allowing Lee to take Rachel away.

"You missed one, Ian!" Christine points at Lee escaping with Rachel on her shoulder.

_"She ain't too hot, so I won't waste my charm on her."_ Ian lets Lee go, but she heard his remark and gets pissed. But she continues with Rachel on her shoulder to escape the gym with Double-D and Eddy while Ed and the other boys are taken away by Ian's harem.

* * *

Double-D, Eddy, Lee and Rachel hide inside a science classroom.

_"Ian's sexy! Ian's so sexy!"_ Rachel babbles as Double-D tries in futility to restrain her.

"Assistance, please! Rachel's stronger than I am!" Double-D says, and Lee helps him pin Rachel to a lab table. Lee holds Rachel down while Double-D binds Rachel's arms and legs to her body using belt straps. Then he grabs a bucket from one of the classroom's cabinets.

"Ok Eddy, go fill this bucket with... Eddy?" Double-D sees that Eddy isn't with them. He peeks out the door and sees Eddy going down the hallway. Double-D calls out "Eddy, where are you going?"

"Home." Eddy answers.

"EDDY, YOU'RE NOT LEAVING!" Double-D tells Eddy, about to chase after him but Lee volunteers to do so instead.

"I'll deal with Eddy. You go back to Rachel. _I think she still has some of herself intact."_ Lee says, running out to get Eddy. Double-D goes to Rachel, who looks at him.

"Douuuble-D..." She utters. "Ian's really hot, and as much as I'd hate to see him go down, I... _I found his weakness."_

"Rachel, how could still talk like that after falling for him?" Double-D asks.

"Lift the hair over my left eye." Rachel instructs. Double-D does so, revealing that Rachel's left eye is still its normal gray color, instead of swirly pink like her right!

"So that's it! _Since you only saw him through one eye..."_ Double-D begins...

_"... He only got half of me!"_ Rachel finishes!

* * *

Meanwhile, Eddy goes down the school's main hall and is about to leave through the front doors, but Lee blocks his way.

"........ I can't BELIEVE you're still followin me." Eddy says.

"I won't let you leave." Lee says.

"After all the shit I did today, why not?" Eddy asks.

_"It's complicated."_ Lee answers.

"Complicated?..." Eddy asks: _"What, you STILL want me after I didn't wanna dance with you? You STILL want me after I tried breakin up your sisters and my pals. You STILL want me even after I bitch-slapped May in front of you and everyone else?"_

"I guess your parents never told you how complex girls can be, did they?" Lee asks.

"Complex?!....... HAHAHAHA!!" Eddy laughs. "I HARDLY CONSIDER YOU COMPLEX! HOW CAN AN ANNOYING, BLUE-TOOTHED, GINGER-CURLED WHORE LIKE YOU BE COMPLEX?!"

"BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I WAS JUST FOLLOWIN MOM'S EXAMPLE!" Lee shouts: "REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME WE MET?! THE FIRST TIME MY SISTERS AND I DRIED YOUR CLOTHES AND MADE YOU LUNCH?!"

"YEAH, BUT THEN YOU THREE WENT MAD AND SCARED US OUT!" Eddy shouts back.

_"BECAUSE YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF OUR HOSPITALITY AND MADE US CRY!!"_ Lee yells over Eddy, then calms herself down. _"Our mom got the same thing from May's dad, always relyin on her for money and never doin any real shit himself besides use her generosity after he sunk into alcoholism. He made Mom cry, and she chased him off in the end. That's why May, Marie and I did what we did to you and your buddies: to make you three pay the price for makin us cry. But even then, we still loved you, and madly at that. We all still felt we could connect with you three. We're all similar. You and I, for example. We're both made of leadership material. And from they way you always acted, I knew you were mad and lonely, and you wanted to be cool and fit in with the others. I know all too well what that's like..."_

**Flashback: We see a school called "JOHN MEIN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL," located in an Orange Harbor neighborhood with the lighthouse and Mondo-A-GoGo in the background. Inside, we see kindergarteners following their teachers into the cafeteria to eat. Among them is Young Lee, who looks mostly the same as in May's 2nd birthday photo from "My Ed For You," except her hair grew out a bit more. When the kindergarteners reach their tables, Lee approaches some of her peers.**

**"Hey, guys!" Lee greets. "Mind if I sit with ya?"**

**"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" the kids laugh, and a blonde girl points out: "Yeah, right! _Who would want an ugly duckling like you sittin with us?"_**

**"Haha! Good one, Bonnie!" a boy laughs. As the kids laugh, Lee sheds a tear, then glares at them before walking away. Later, during recess, Lee is going through her mini-purse at the edge of the schoolyard when a boy suddenly snatches it out of her hands.**

**"HEY! GIVE THAT BACK, SAMUEL!" Lee chases Samuel.**

**"HEY GUYS, LOOK!" Samuel call to the other kids, then jokes "I'M A MUGGER STEALIN A LADY'S PURSE! WHO'S GONNA STOP ME!"**

**Lee angers as she chases Samuel across to the other side of the schoolyard. The other kindergarteners laugh at her all the while, except for Marie, May and Rachel. Rachel now wears a short-sleeved purple shirt, tight black pants, black sneakers, and her characteristic flower hairclip (while Marie and May look the same as in May's 2nd birthday photo). She, Marie and May watch in disgust as their peers laugh at Lee.**

**"HERE, BONNIE!" Samuel tosses Lee's mini-purse to Bonnie, who's also the leader of a group of girls.**

**"Ahh, so this is Lee's purse, eh?" Bonnie opens Lee's mini-purse.**

**"THAT'S MINE!" Lee rushes towards Bonnie, only to be restrained by Bonnie's friends. Bonnie takes a picture out of Lee's mini-purse. It's a picture of the Kankers' mom Ursula holding baby Lee, who wore a white one-piece with red polka-dots. The picture also reveals that Lee has blue eyes.**

**"Aww, is this your baby picture?" Bonnie asks in a mocking tone. _"Heh, even then, your face was one only a mother would love."_**

**_"RRRRAAAAAGGHH!!"_ Lee shakes off Bonnie's lackeys and lunges at Bonnie herself, knocking her to the ground and Lee furiously wails on her.**

**"OW, MY FACE!!" Bonnie screams as Marie and Rachel pull Lee off of her.**

**"WHO'S THE UGLY DUCKLING NOW, HUH?!" Lee asks Bonnie, who's bruised and crying as her friends help her up.**

**"I'M GONNA MAKE YOUR FACE EVEN UGLIER THAN IT ALREADY IS!!" Bonnie angrily stomps towards Lee, then Marie jumps between them in Lee's defense.**

**"Back off Bonnie, unless you wanna lose what's left of your looks." Marie warns Bonnie, then...**

**"ENOUGH!" a teacher arrives, having been brought over by May.**

**_"Bonnie bein a big bully! Bonnie and Samuel!"_ May explains as she and the teacher head over towards Lee, Marie, Samuel, and Bonnie & her group. Samuel tries running.**

**"Oh, no you don't." Rachel reaches for Samuel cartoon-style and pulls him back.**

**Back in the Kankers' apartment, Lee is sitting alone by her bedroom window when Ursula comes in.**

**"I've been told you attacked a girl in school. Didn't I tell ya to keep your hands off others unless defendin yourself?" Ursula asks, sitting on her daughters' bed.**

**"I know,_ but they always laugh at me and make fun of me whenever I try fittin in."_ Lee explains, starting to cry: _"Like today. I tried sittin with the cool kids, but Bonnie called me an ugly duckling. She even said my face is one only you could love."_**

**_"Oh, Leah. Come here, baby."_ Ursula calls over Lee, who sits on her lap and cries into her chest. Ursula embraces Lee in a hug.**

**_"I'm tired of it, Mom."_ Lee angrily says. _"I HATE cool kids! Everything comes so easy for em, and I get none of that cuz I'm UGLY!!"_**

**Ursula puts her finger on Lee's chin to point her face up and wipe her tears: _"Don't you dare call yourself ugly again. You are NOT ugly. You are Leah Belle Kanker, and you'll always be beautiful in your own way. Don't let the other kids put ya down and don't EVER give up on anythin, because the blood of the Kanker clan flows through your veins. You're my first-born on top of that, so ya gotta stay strong and set a good example for your sisters. Promise me you'll do so."_**

**_"..... I promise!..."_ Lee answers, smiling. Then Rod calls Ursula from downstairs: "URSULA!.... URSIE!! COME COOK ME SOMETHIN, WILL YA?!"**

**"HOLD YOUR DAMN HORSES, ROD!" Ursula shouts to Rod, then tells Lee: _"Just remember, Leah: Kankers never give up." _Ursula kisses Lee's forehead._ "Now excuse me, I'm gonna go cook up a burger for Rod cuz the way to a man's heart is through his arteries!"_**

**With that, Ursula goes downstairs to cook for Rod.  
**

**End Flashback**

_"And because Mom told me Kankers never give up, I never gave up on you."_ Lee says. _"Even when I got pissed when you dated Nazz two years ago, I still didn't give up. And I never will until I win you over."_

Eddy is silent for a moment, sighs, then he finally speaks up: "You know what, Lee? It's about time I've admitted it. _You... already won my heart, four years ago."_

"Huh?..." Lee's eyes bug out in surprise! _"... All this time-"_

"Yeah." Eddy answers before Lee finishes her question. "I actually thought you were ok when you stood up for me at my brother's place, but that wasn't enough to make me like you. _Then that day came..."_

**Eddy remembers when Lee saved him by throwing him out of the way of Cucurbitron's slamming fist during "Rise of The Gourd."**

_"After that, a part of me thought 'Hey, Lee really is a good person.'"_ Eddy explains: _"But the bad part of me thought 'No, that skank's ugly and she doesn't deserve you after all the crap she did.' And even though you got clean teeth now and you're not really that ugly anymore, I still couldn't bring myself to forgive you for what you did. So I followed my bad side, and that's why I couldn't accept Ed and Double-D gettin together with your sisters. I was afraid that us datin you three would ruin our reputations. But you kept goin through my thoughts. I hooked up with Nazz to get you out of my head, but that didn't work, so I broke up with her after a while. Then I tried gettin with the other hot girls so I wouldn't have to hear my friends talk shit about me datin you. But now I realize... I don't gotta worry about that anymore, cuz everyone's ok with Ed & May and Double-D & Marie. I fucked up horribly today, and now I wanna set things right again for my friends. For Double-D and Ed. For your sisters. And... for you, Lee."_

Lee smiles, then grabs Eddy to give him a hug! Then they hear clapping behind them. They look, and see Double-D!

_"I couldn't be more proud of you if I tried, Eddy!"_ he exclaims, having heard the entire thing. "Now come! Rachel discovered that Ian's charm diminishes should his looks be damaged. And I also found where the other guys are being held."

* * *

A short period later, Eddy is using one of his hairs to pick the lock on Ian's locker. He successfully opens it, takes out a photo of Ian, and rushes to join Double-D and Lee upstairs. They are peeking into one of the hallways, where Ed and the other boys are imprisoned inside lockers and are being kept inside by some of Ian's girls. Several girls, including May, are on Ed's locker to prevent him from breaking out.

"Ok, here ya go." Eddy gives Ian's photo to Lee, who jumps into the hallway to distract the girls with Ian's photo: "LOOK, GIRLS! I GOT IAN'S CLASS PHOTO!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" the girls all scream in joy, and Lee leads them away using Ian's photo. Eddy and Double-D then open up the lockers to free the boys.

"Ok boys, listen up!" Eddy says. _"We gotta team up to distract the rest of Ian's girls to create an opening and take him down."_

"RIGHT ON!" Jonny exclaims.

* * *

In the gym, the rest of Ian's girls are taking turns giving him lapdances, much to his pleasure.

_"Hehe, I love bein sexy!"_ Ian says to himself as Nazz steps up to give him a lapdance. Then the gym doors open, and the boys enter! A baffled Ian asks "How did you all escape?"

"Your girls are total fools for ya. That's how!" Eddy answers.

"CHAAARRRGGE!!" Kevin yells, and the boys charge.

"Get em, girls!" Ian has his girls attack the boys, who brace themselves as the girls grab onto them. They keep the girls in place, and they tug and push against each other, effectively creating a stalemate. Even Double-D takes part in it, though he's holding off a weaker girl.

"Wait, I only got half my harem with me, which means... _they're only blocking half the boys!"_ Ian realizes.

"HE'S OPEN!" Double-D shouts, and Ed pops up behind Ian.

"YAH!" Ed throws a punch, but Ian ducks to avoid it. He grabs Ed's foot to throw him away, but more boys appear to attack Ian, forcing him to run.

"What's the matter, Ian? Can't fight like a man?!" Kevin asks as he throws punches at the evading Ian. Then Lee arrives, luring in the second half of Ian's girls with his school picture.

"THANK YOU! GIRLS!" Ian calls over the second half of his harem, using them to keep the other boys away from himself. "Whew, my looks are safe!"

_"You're forgettin about the one single guy here: ME!"_ Jonny is able to grab Ian from behind since he has no date, thus there was no girl to hold him back!

"Shit, shit!" Ian struggles out of Jonny's grasp, but Jonny throws a punch that knocks off Ian's hat, revealing his cut hair.

"MY HAT!" Ian tries retrieving his hat, but Jonny stomps it. Some of Ian's girls see his messed-up hair, and they lose interest in him!

" NO GIRLS, I'M STILL SEXY! SEE?!" Ian covers up his hair with his hands, and tries making a seductive face.

_"You should be usin yo hands to block my punches, Pretty Boy!"_ Paul leaps at Ian and PUNCHES him in the cheek. Not only does this give Ian a nasty bruise, but Paul's punch also sends him sliding along the floor, dirtying his tux. Nazz, Marie, and several more girls lose interest in Ian as a result.

"WHOO!!" Double-D cheers as Eddy goes in to help thrash Ian, who receives sweet chin music from Kevin. Lee brings in Rachel to show Ian getting pummeled, and Rachel, Jenna & several more girls lose interest! Then the girls laugh at Ian as he gets owned by their boyfriends.

_"And you said this wouldn't repeat."_ Kevin tells Ian as the latter gets up. Kevin grabs Ian's sleeve and Ian tries yanking him off, causing his sleeve to rip.

"Ugh..." Ian angrily growls, removing his tux. _"I don't need clothes! ALL I NEED IS MY BODY TO GET THE GIRLS BACK!!"_

"Think again!" Eddy zips by and rips off Ian's chest hairs, causing him to SCREAM and hold his chest in pain. While he does so, Steve and Jacob grab his arms to hold him in place.

"WE GOT HIM, ED!" Steve and Jacob signal Ed, who RAMS his head right into Ian's stomach in slow-motion, forcing saliva out of Ian's mouth and sending him flying into a far wall, cracking it and he falls to the floor!! Now Ian has blackeyes, a severely beaten face with several lost teeth, and a huge bruise on his stomach where Ed rammed him!! As he gets up, he sees Lee looking down on him.

_"Y'know, if only you seduced me earlier instead of lettin me go just because I was less attractive, you probably wouldn't be in this mess."_ Lee tells Ian.

_"Hey, we're both ugly now, so I can still get ya!"_ Ian tries making a sexy face (a very screwed-up one), but Lee merely responds _"How pathetically desperate."_ and kicks Ian to the floor. Then Eddy jumps on his back and grabs his hair, and Lee's swordfish is passed to Eddy.

_"Now for the grand finale, ladies and gentlemen!"_ Eddy prepares to cut off Ian's hair, so Ian panics and struggles even harder. But Eddy holds onto Ian's hair, causing it to come off and revealing that it's actually a wig, which in turn means that Ian is actually BALD!!! Eddy just looks bug-eyed at the wig he's holding, while everyone else stares at Ian...

_"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"_ everyone laughs at the now-hideous Ian, who finally succumbs and breaks down. He runs away screaming, jumping outside through the hole made by Rachel kicking Jenna through the wall earlier. Everyone cheers Ian's defeat, and Kevin sees Jenna!

"JENN, I'M OVER HERE!" Kevin calls over Jenna, and she rushes over. Seeing Jenna's blackeyes (from Rachel kicking her), Kevin asks "What happened to your eyes, babe?"

_"It feels like I got kicked or somethin."_ Jenna (correctly) guesses.

"Eh, no matter. _Your eyes are still pretty!"_ Kevin says, and Jenna hugs and kisses him. Then romantic music starts playing as all the other boys and girls search for and rejoin their rightful soulmates, including Steve & Christine, Rachel & Jacob, and Paul & Tracy. But Nazz, whose date was Ian, is now alone and crying on the sidelines.

_"Stupid Ian. I don't even have a date now."_ Nazz sobs, then Jonny approaches her.

_"I'll take your hand!"_ Jonny offers, and after a moment, Nazz smiles and takes his hand. Jonny then says: "You know, Nazz?.... _After Plank and I went evil-insane four years ago, I was..... kinda happy you never gave up hope that I would change back! Thanks for... savin me from the other kids!"_

"Aw, you're welcome, Jonny!" Nazz replies. _"And PS, I always kinda found your evironmental side and dance skills attractive!"_

_"Really?!"_ Jonny asks, and Nazz sweetly answers _"Really!!..."_

Meanwhile, Ed and Double-D rekindle with May and Marie while Eddy watches from a table. Lee comes behind him.

"Well, Eddy! You set everythin right again as you said, except you still gotta apologize to May." Lee pushes Eddy to May.

"Ugh... I'm sorry, May." Eddy mumbles his apology.

"Apology accepted!" May cartoonishly hugs Eddy and pushes him back to Lee. Marie then says "Ok, let's get back to dancin already!"

All the couples move to the dance floor to dance to the slow music. As they dance, Lee asks Eddy "So, since you said I'm not that 'ugly' anymore, _how do I look, then?"_

"Uhhh... Well, I can't exactly say you look hot either, but... _I'll just say you're beautiful in your own way!"_ Eddy answers, and they continue dancing along with the other couples.

Then the screen flashes to show several pictures from the dance. _The first is of the Eds, Kevin, Jonny and Paul posing together. The second is of the Kankers, Jenna (her eyes magically healed), Nazz and Tracy doing the same. The third is Jenna pulling Kevin by his tie towards her. The fourth is Jonny and Nazz embracing. The fifth is of the Eds and Jacob with the Kankers and Rachel. The sixth is Ed holding May in his arms. The seventh is Double-D nervously holding Marie's hips from behind while she amorously sticks her tongue at him. The last..._

_... Is of Eddy and Lee kissing!!_

**Happy Valentines Day!!!**

* * *

Trivia: John Mein Elementary, the school that the Kankers and Rachel attended as little kids, is named after one of the show's writers, John Mein. And Lee's old bullies Bonnie and Samuel are named after Bonnie Reid and Samuel To, who are respectively the show's color and prop designers.

And I'm very much aware that some of you guys aren't exactly fans of EdsxKankers, particularly EddyxLee. But since I like EdxMay and EddxMarie, it's only fair that I have EddyxLee as well to complete the triangle, and I wrote Lee's background so you can sympathize with her and accept her more. But the Ed/Kanker romance will only be a side story through the rest of the Teen Series, so no worries (or complaints) there. As for Jonny & Nazz... Well, I just like odd couples! :D

One more thing: since I'm very busy with college work, chances are most upcoming chapters will be late from now on, so expect them to come between Thursdays and Saturdays. See ya'll around!


	31. Eds n Chips pt 1

I'm jumping ahead a month in cartoon time to begin this first of the springtime episodes. Read and enjoy the smell of fresh flowers!

Oh, and I put in a hint in this episode that will foreshadow a later event.

* * *

**_Episode #16: Eds n Chips_**

* * *

Spring has come to Peach Creek. Flowers are blooming, butterflies are fluttering about, and the air is full of music, both from birds and...

... Kyle's guitar! Sarah, Jimmy and Zoe are sitting on Kyle's lawn, snapping their fingers as Kyle plays a guitar tune while sitting on his doorstep. Sarah, Jimmy and Zoe clap after Kyle finishes his song.

"Excellent tune, my man!" Jimmy comments.

"Thanks, here's my new one!" Kyle readies himself again, rolling his eyebrows at Sarah and Zoe! _"This one's for you, ladies!"_

"OH, I JUST LOVE LOVE LOVE NEW GUITAR SONGS!!" Zoe exclaims, shaking Sarah while asking "DO YOU LOVE LOVE LOVE NEW GUITAR SONGS?!"

"GET OFF ME!" Sarah pushes Zoe away.

"Cut it out, girls. Pay attention to Kyle." Jimmy tells Sarah and Zoe, but then they all hear a loud CRASH from the first cul-de-sac, followed by the bellowing of a bull...

Rolf's bull Julian is running all around the farm in a mad frenzy, and Rolf and the Eds are trying to stop him. The CRASH sound was from Julian destroying Rolf's shed.

"EDDY, ROLF TOLD YOU TO BE CAREFUL WITH JULIAN!!" Double-D reprimands Eddy.

_"Ugh, everything's gotta be MY fault, right?"_ Eddy asks in retaliation while Meggy, Victor and the llama flee from the rampaging Julian.

"TURKEY EYES, OPEN THE BASEMENT SO PHEASANT TAIL CAN EVACUATE THE LIVESTOCK!!" Rolf tells Double-D while Ed gathers all the other livestock. Rolf himself leaps in front of the oncoming Julian, then he puts on grappling gloves. "Brace yourself, Rolf..."

Rolf grabs Julian's horns right when the bull charges into him, but Julian quickly starts thrashing around to shake off Rolf. He rams through Rolf's back door and into the house with him, and from inside we hear his parents' and Nano's screams!

"HOLY LORD!!" Double-D screams in horror at Julian tearing up the house's interior while Ed safely hides the other farm animals in the basement. Rolf's dad Noah is sent flying out through the roof by Julian and he hits the ground head-first, while his wife Hanna flees the kitchen with a stack of pots with Nano on top. They all look the same as in "Holly Jolly Holiday," but without the Yeshmiyek adornments and Hanna has wooden shoes.

_"I knew bringin that bull was a bad idea."_ Nano says.

"WAIT, WHERE IS MAMA?!" Hanna frantically looks around for her mom, Rolf's Nana. Meanwhile, Julian barges out through the front with Rolf still on his horns, but now he finally manages to throw off Rolf, sending him flying into support beam. This breaks the beam, causing Nana's bed to fall through the ceiling, flattening Rolf and awakening Nana.

"MUST I TELL YOU ALL TO KEEP IT DOWN?! Nana angrily yells, then she sees what happened and screams something in her native language. Then she asks "IS MY LLAMA OK?!"

"WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS BOVINE TRAGEDY?!" Noah asks the Eds, and Ed & Double-D point to Eddy. _"You shall be punished with one hundred peckings from an angry cock._ But first, you three and Rolf shall ride our equines and retrieve Julian while I fix up the household."

"YESSIR!" the Eds affirm as Noah fetches horses for the Eds and Rolf, and they chase after Julian who's wildly ramming into several of the cul-de-sac houses and he knocks a car and the retro van skywards, bellowing and roaring all the while. Rolf passes lassos to the Eds as they chase Julian around the center of the cul-de-sac, then down the street.

"CHINLESS AND BIG-CHINNED ED BOYS, GO FOR THE HORNS!" Rolf tells Ed and Double-D, who each lasso Julian by his horns. They pull, making Julian rear back and yelp. But then Julian reverses the situation by leaping and throwing his head downwards, freeing himself from the lassos and slinging Ed & Double-D off their horses and into the air.

"AAAAAHHH!!" Ed and Double-D scream as they fly through the air, with Ed adding "I'M NOT IN MY HAPPY PLACE, DOUBLE-D!" as they fall and crash-land several blocks away! Rolf and Eddy continue after Julian as he goes a bit into the lane, then through the fence into the playground. Julian knocks over a tree, which Eddy and Rolf jump over with their horses while Julian's horns catch on the swings, entangling himself as he swings up.

"WHOA!" Eddy steers his horse out of the way as Julian swings back down, knocking down Rolf's horse and sending Rolf flying head-first into the sandbox. Then Julian frees himself from the swings and jumps the over the fence at the end of the playground to enter the second cul-de-sac, with Eddy in close pursuit. Sarah, Jimmy, Zoe and Kyle are waving Kyle's mom goodbye as she backs her station wagon out of the garage.

"Bye, Kyle! Bye, kids!" Kyle's mom waves goodbye as she takes out her garage's remote. But before she can close the garage, Julian shoves his horns under her wagon and sends it flying up into the air, and her garage remote lands on the lawn.

"I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!" Jimmy screams as he and the others run, and Eddy throws his lasso at Julian. But he only catches Julian's tail, and Julian spins to swing Eddy off his horse and around. Eddy is swung towards Kyle and he grabs Kyle's arm, causing Kyle to be swung along with him.

"KYLE, GRAB SOMETHIN!" Eddy tells Kyle, but Kyle responds "I CAN'T! I'M HOLDIN MY GUITAR!"

"FORGET THE STUPID GUITAR!" Eddy throws Kyle's guitar away, and it in the doorway of Kyle's garage. And when Eddy threw the guitar, he let go of his lasso to do so, so he and Kyle hit the ground as Julian kicks out with his back legs. Eddy is KICKED into Kyle's garage, then Julian sets his eyes on Kyle, who braces himself for the worst, but at the last moment...

"SLAHARGH!!" Rolf reappears and grabs the lasso on Julian's tail to draw him back, then uses his own lasso to fight Julian in a cloud of dust. The fight ends with Rolf tying Julian's legs together and standing on top of him in a dramatic victory pose!

"YOU ARE SAFE, CHILDREN, FOR THE BEAST HAS BEEN TAMED!" Rolf declares so the youngsters come out of hiding, then he tells himself "And note to Rolf: never rehire the careless Ed boy for Nincompoop position ever again."

"WHOO!! MOST WICKED, ROLF!!" Zoe runs towards Rolf. "Oh my God, Rolf, that was so awesome! You are awesome! _You ooze awesomeness! And YOU deserve your own SPINOFF!!"_

"Whoo, way to go, Rolf!" Eddy cheers as he comes out of Kyle's garage, with a huge kick mark on his face from Julian's foot. "I'm glad that's over!"

As Eddy walks out of the garage and across Kyle's lawn towards Rolf, he steps on Kyle's mom's garage remote, closing the garage's shutter...

_... And it crushes Kyle's guitar under it. Kyle sees this, and his eyes bug out!!_

"Come, screwer-upper Ed boy. _Now you must endure the punishment Papa has sentenced upon you."_ Rolf grabs Eddy by his hairs and takes him away on horseback, also dragging Julian behind his horse. As they go, they hear Kyle SCREAMING and SCREAMING as he holds the pieces of his shattered guitar in his arms. He has a crushed look on his face, and Jimmy, Zoe and Sarah gather around him as he SCREAMS and SCREAMS and SCREAMS!!!

* * *

Kyle's extremely loud SCREAMING continues on throughout the day and into the night, and the neighborhood is unable to sleep because of it! Zoe lays in her bed, her bedtime attire consisting of a shoulderless black belly shirt with long sleeves and yellow sweatpants reaching just above her ankles. Despite living just two houses away from Kyle, she's able to sleep through his SCREAMING, though her dreaming appears to be affected by the SCREAMS.

_"Hey, you... Yeah, you there... Shut up cuz I'm... I'm tryna have some fun here..."_ Zoe mutters while moving around in her sleep.

Jenna, living right next door to Kyle, is less fortunate. Aggravated by the SCREAMING, she gets up, revealing her bedtime clothes which consist of a gray belly shirt and orange-&-white shorts, with her hair tied in a ponytail. She leaves her room, and returns with her ears corked. She resumes sleeping, but a particularly loud SCREAM from Kyle pops the corks out of her ears and she becomes so irritated that her eye veins pop out.

From Rolf's house, we hear Nana angrily yell "AAAGH, TIME FOR THE SCREAMER TO FEEL THE WRATH OF MY SHERWOOD TOES!!"

"NANA, STOP! YOU MUSTN'T EXERT YOURSELF!" Rolf's voice is heard. "MAMA, NANA REQUIRES SPECIAL MEASURES!"

Jimmy's dad James, wearing a robe, is fed up with the SCREAMING, and calls Kyle's house: "Becky, will you PLEASE shut your kid up?"

Upstairs, Jimmy's mom Wendy is taking sleep pills, then Jimmy peeks his head in to ask "Mom, can I take one of your sleep pills?"

"Absolutely, dear!" Wendy gives Jimmy a sleep pill.

Sarah, wearing pink pajamas, looks at Kyle's house through her window while Ed, wearing a white t-shirt and boxers, is also unable to sleep. So he gets up and shoves his head into his sponge wall so he can sleep without hearing Kyle.

Double-D is sitting at his room's desk, scrunching up whenever Kyle SCREAMS and he's using various parts to create large earmuffs for himself.

Eddy, wearing his hairnet, purple pants and no shirt, is covering his ears with his pillow, but to no avail. He tries sleeping between between his mattresses, but that also fails. Then he jumps out of bed and, no longer able to take Kyle's SCREAMING, rips his hair off and starts banging his head on his dresser!

* * *

By daybreak, Kyle is still SCREAMING! At Ed's doorstep, Double-D is still wearing his special earmuffs and now also has a speaker tube connected to one of his ears for verbal communication. He is giving the baggy-eyed Nazz the same kind of earmuffs and speaker tube so she can go on without hearing Kyle.

"Thanks, dude!" Nazz thanks into Double-D's speaker tube, and Double-D speaks into hers to reply "You're welcome, now have a nice day!"

Nazz leaves while Double-D rejoins Ed and Eddy in Ed's living room where he continues reading a newspaper while Ed and Eddy try watching TV. Ed & Eddy also have earmuffs and speaker tubes made for them by Double-D so they can hear the TV without hearing Kyle's SCREAMS. As Double-D reads the newspaper, he finds an interesting article:

"Look, Eddy! _A man named Freddie Kanker is the new CEO of the Econo Company!"_ Double-D tells into Eddy's speaker tube.

Then Sarah enters and makes an angry beeline towards Eddy, yelling "YOU DID THIS!!"

"Sorry, couldn't hear ya." Eddy indicates his earmuffs. Sarah grabs Eddy's speaker tube and yells into it: "YOU... DID... THIS!!!"

Eddy is blown over and disoriented by Sarah's yelling, then Sarah grabs Eddy's foot and drags him out of the house.

"Let's go, Ed." Double-D tells Ed through his speaker tube, then they head out to follow Sarah as she drags Eddy towards Kyle's house. Just as they reach Kyle's lawn, his SCREAMING ceases.

* * *

Sarah drags Eddy through Kyle's living room and upstairs to Kyle's bedroom door, which has a sea turtle poster on it, and she drags Eddy inside. Kyle has stuffed sea turtles on his dresser, a palm tree lamp, a surfboard hung on one of his walls, and a trophy shelf with six "POMELO BEACH JUNIOR SURF-OFF" trophies. Kyle himself is laying on his bed with Jimmy and Zoe, and Kyle is still wearing his bedtime attire which consists of a white t-shirt and blue shorts. He's actually still screaming while thrashing his arms and legs, but Zoe is sitting on his face to muffle him, and she gives a thumbs-up! With that, Eddy removes his earmuffs and speaker tube, and Ed and Double-D do the same upon coming in.

"Is Kyle still screaming?" Ed asks.

"He just won't stop. _Not even his mom was able to calm him."_ Jimmy says.

_"You see, Eddy? You just HAD to throw Kyle's guitar into his garage, and THEN you had to step on the garage's remote!"_ Sarah accuses Eddy.

_"And because of that, Kyle's lost his grip on reality."_ Jimmy says.

_"And it's ALL-YOUR-FAULT!!"_ Sarah pokes Eddy's chest with each word.

_"Ugh, everything's gotta be MY fault, right?"_ Eddy asks, rolling his eyes.

"Eddy, please." Double-D gently moves Eddy aside to speak to Sarah, Jimmy and Zoe: "Eddy sincerely apologizes for the demolition of Kyle's most beloved posession which led to the Peach Creek population's-" he looks at Eddy and finishes: "- DEPRIVATION OF SLEEP! _And Ed and I will aid Eddy in whatever it takes to make it up to Kyle! Right, Eddy?"_

"Uhhh yeah, sure!" Eddy confirms.

"Then stay right outside." Sarah pushes the Eds outside Kyle's door. After a few moments, Sarah opens it again: _"Kyle wants you three to buy a new guitar for him."_

The Eds' eyes bug out, then Double-D regains himself and says "It shall be done, Sarah!"

* * *

Later on, Ed and Double-D watch as Eddy talks to Nazz and Jenna: "Come on, girls! I know you two made lots of cash doin that community service thing down at the hall. Please, could you just gimme a bit, like... five hundred or so, so I could buy a new guitar for Kyle and make it up to him?"

"Sorry Eddy, but we can't give you any of the money because we're donating it to the Cancer Society." Nazz explains.

".... We couldn't sleep cuz YOU BROKE HIS GUITAR!?" Jenna angrily SLAPS Eddy across his face, knocking him for a loop. _"Hell no, you ain't gettin NOTHIN from us! Let's go, Nazz."_

Jenna walks off, followed by Nazz. Eddy gets up with a bright red slap mark on his face.

"Sorry for rubbing this in, but you had that slap coming." Double-D says.

"And you had THIS comin." Eddy throws a punch at Double-D, who quickly jumps away. Eddy yells "YOU had to be a fuckin GARY STU and have US make up for breakin Kyle's damn guitar. Rolf fired me AGAIN for the whole Julian incident yesterday, and you two still need a dozen more paychecks from him before we can pay off Kyle's guitar, and that's gonna take FOREVER! And on top of that, NOBODY'S HIRING RIGHT NOW!!"

"Well, you should have thought twice before breaking something near-&-dear to Kyle." Double-D tells Eddy.

_"I've also lost somethin near-&-dear once."_ a deep, hoarse voice comes from behind the Eds. They turn around, and see a tall pink-nosed man with a thick gray beard. He's wearing a long blue leather coat, black boots, a black pirate hat, and an eyepatch.

"..... What did you lose, old-timer?" Eddy asks the old pirate man.

_"I lost mee hand."_ the pirate guy reveals that his right hand is a hook, surprising the Eds.

"That's so cool!" Ed comments, then Double-D asks _"How did that happen?"_

_"Me hand was taken by Ol' Chomps."_ the pirate guy answers.

"Ol' Chomps?..." Eddy asks.

_"Aye. Ol' Chomps, the biggest, nastiest, most fearsome fish to ever prowl the waters of Lake Tangerine."_ the pirate guy explains: _"He has taken countless lives, rippin boats to pieces and tearin poor ol' swimmers and fishermen apart with his six-inch-long teeth. Some say he's been at it for over ninety years, and many, including myself, have tried catchin Ol' Chomps to end the bloodbath and clean Lake Tangerine of its red stain. But nobody has succeeded, and to this day, that monster still resides in said lake with a five thousand-dollar prize on his head."_

"Did you just say FIVE THOUSAND-DOLLAR PRIZE?!" Eddy excitedly jumps onto the pirate guy.

"Must I repeat it?" the pirate guy asks back, then Eddy ricochets off into the air, grabbing his fellow Eds' shoulders as he falls back down and he pulls them together with himself in-between.

_"Boys, we've found our guitar solution!"_ Eddy declares. "And there'll be plenty mula left for us!"

"Gyahahahahaa, that was hilarious!" the pirate guy laughs: "Hahaha! _But seriously, if you three really intend on catchin the likes of Ol' Chomps, then I wish ya the best of luck." _he says, walking away._ "You're gonna need it just to make it back alive."_

After the pirate guy disappears around a corner, Double-D says "That pirate guy is right, Eddy. We're better off on dry land than going for a fish as reputedly ferocious as Ol' Chomps. Besides, where are we gonna get the necessary equipment?"

"My dad keeps a whole bunch of fishin gear up in our attic!" Eddy answers "Just follow my lead!"

"I can't wait to see Ol' Chomps, Eddy!" Ed exclaims as he follows Eddy.

"Guys, I'm telling you. No good could come out of this." Double-D protests.

**To be Continued...**

* * *

Trivia: The Econo Company appears to be a food company in the EEnE universe. Ed ate some "Econo Bran Muffins" in the episode "A Glass of Warm Ed," and a box of "Econo Beans" was among the various stuff in Eddy's bro's room.

Ol' Chomps awaits in Part 2, so stay tuned! Also, I'm writing full-steam ahead to finish up "Rise of The Gourd."


	32. Eds n Chips pt 2

Owww, after givin up coffee for Lent, I've been having headaches all the time and it's been interfering with my work, both college work and Teen Series work! But I got "Eds n Chips" done, so here ya go!

* * *

Sarah watches the Eds load the retro van with fishing equipment, with the bug-eyed Kyle laying on the ground by her side while catatonically sucking his thumb.

"No need to fret, Kyle." Eddy assures while approaching Kyle and Sarah. "When we return, you'll have a brand new guitar with your name written all over it! Guaranteed, my boy!"

_"R-R-R-Rad-d-d-d-dic-c-c-cal, b-b-b-brah!..."_ Kyle stutters, then continues sucking his thumb.

"WE'RE READY, EDDY!" Ed calls to Eddy, and Eddy goes to join him and Double-D inside the retro van.

"What are you waitin for, Double-D? Start the van." Eddy goads Double-D. Reluctantly, Double-D starts up the van, and they drive off while Sarah & Kyle watch.

* * *

Later on, the Eds reach Lake Tangerine, a suburban town situated on the shores of the namesake lake, which is big and swampy. The Eds drive through the streets until they reach the lake's docks on the other side of town. Cattails stand alongside the docks, and turtles are basking on a log floating nearby. Bugs, frogs and waterbirds could be heard, then we hear Ed pushing down a tree, scaring off some waterbirds in the process.

"Build a boat, build a boat, build a boat!" Ed repeats as he uses and gathers various stuff to make a boat out of the tree he knocked down, because the Eds can't afford to rent a boat from "Bernstein's Boathouse," which is nearby. While Ed makes the boat, Double-D and Eddy unload the fishing equipment from the van.

"Eddy, please just listen! I strongly suggest you reconsider about going through with this." Double-D reasons: _"There have been reports of people losing their boats, limbs, and even their lives to large piscines such as giant catfish, alligator gar and sturgeons. And the latter are indigenous to this area."_

"Double-D, big is beautiful. And in this case, BIG FISH equals BEAUTIFUL CASH! The prize easily outweighs the risks here!" Eddy says "Now go get the engine out for Ed. I'm gonna dig for some worms."

Eddy grabs a shovel from the front of the van to go dig for worms, while Double-D just goes "Uuuggghhh" and gets the boat engine from the back. Double-D made the boat engine out of stuff enclosed inside a cardboard box, with a fan sticking out as the motor. Double-D carries the engine to put it into the boat, the pieces of which Ed carved out of the tree and is putting together with leaves and reeds.

* * *

Once everything is ready, Eddy turns on the motor, and the Eds set out to go fishing!

"WE'RE A COMIN, OL' CHOMPS!" Eddy exclaims as their boat speeds across the lake, passing the lake's beach and several floating logs as they head towards the fishing area. Then Eddy stops the boat.

"Ok boys, let's get the worms out and get our game on!" Eddy says, taking out his fish rod and casting out his line, using a worm as bait. His fellow Eds follow suit, with Double-D sarcastically exclaiming "Of course, Eddy! _It only takes the utmost patience to catch even a nibble!"_

Eddy glares at Double-D. "... Are you sayin I don't got any patience?"

"Exactly." Double-D answers.

"Ah, you're just sayin that to make me give up on five thousand bucks because you're afraid of losin a finger to the big bad fishy." Eddy retaliates. "Stop bein a little pussy, _cuz it's the three of us versus that one fish. We got strength in numbers,_ so none of us are gonna get hurt!"

"Hey guys, I think I got somethin!" Ed starts reeling in his line.

"Oh, boy! What did you catch, ya big lug?!" Eddy asks in anticipation, then Ed's catch is revealed as he reels it up: it's a tiny brown-&-white fish! As it flops on Ed's hook, Eddy asks "That's it? This little shit?"

Ed looks at his catch: "Hello, little one! _I'm gonna call you Angus IV, my new more-than-lucky fishy!"_ Ed puts Angus IV into a bucket of water that he and his fellow Eds brought along.

"Just make sure to take care of your new Angus, Ed, lest it meet the same fate as your first three." Double-D tells Ed.

"I'm way ahead of ya, Double-D! I'll have May take care of Angus in her mom's aquarium!" Ed assures, then the boys continue fishing. An hour passes (based on the sun's position), but the Eds haven't caught anything. Ed is whiling away the time by playing with Angus IV.

_"Yep, any minute now."_ Eddy says impatiently. Than after a few more minutes, a fish grabs his line. "Oh I got one!"

Eddy reels in the fish until it's out of the water, revealing it as a carp. Eddy looks at the carp... "You're not Ol' Chomps."

"Oh, carp is an invasive species here. I'll take care of this one." Double-D takes the carp using gloves, and does away with it off-screen. The Eds then continue fishing, but Eddy only catches average-sized fish.

"Err, come on..." Eddy impatiently waits for Ol' Chomps to bite down on one of their lines. Meanwhile, Ed catches a large loach about as big as he is. He holds it so Double-D could measure it, then he does his big goofy smile as Double-D takes a picture of him and the loach!

"Ok big fella, be free!" Ed releases the loach back into the water.

"Will you two quit foolin around? We got business here." Eddy scolds Ed and Double-D as he reels in another catch. It's just another bass, and it repeatedly slaps Eddy's face with its tail fin before it breaks free of his line and swims off. With that, Eddy loses his patience completely and turns on the engine to go into deeper water.

"Eddy, what are you doing? We won't catch any little fish in deep water like this." Double-D says.

"It ain't the little fish we're after. _We're here for Ol' Chomps."_ Eddy reminds Double-D, and while they quarrel...

_... We see a massive 25-foot shadow swim under the Eds' boat!!_

"Worms won't get us anywhere out here, Eddy. " Double-D reasons: "We need to catch FISH if we're to have even a _remote_ chance of catching Ol' Chomps."

"Oh right!!" Eddy remembers: _"Cuz big fish prey upon little fish!_ Haha, how did I forget that? You're right, Sockhead; let's go back and get a little fish for bait!"

Eddy is about to restart the engine to go back, but then he suddenly turns back! "Wait, _we already got a little fish!"_

Ed realizes what Eddy means, and holds away the bucket containing Angus IV: "NO WAY! _I'm not giving up Angus!"_

"Come on, Ed. It's just a stupid fish." Eddy says.

"But Eddy-"

"What matters more to you, Ed? Five thousand dollars, or your precious little Angus?" Eddy asks, stressing Ed. "And choose quickly cuz we got a plot to finish."

Ed looks at Angus IV, then at Eddy, then back at Angus IV. His lips quiver, and a tear rolls down his cheek...

_"Well Angus, we had a good time together..."_ Ed sobs, regretfully giving Angus IV to Eddy. Eddy quickly uses Angus IV as his bait, and he casts his line out into the water.

"There there, Ed." Double-D consoles the grieving Ed. "Don't worry, there's plenty more fish like Angus back in the shallows!"

Then a fish snags Eddy's line: "Hey guys, I got one! _And it feels big!"_ Eddy starts reeling it in, but the fish pulls against him, triggering a tug-of-war. "It's a fighter, boys! It could be Ol' Chomps!"

Eddy tugs his line, but the fish continues to resist, and it makes numerous splashes. As it thrashes about in the water, Eddy catches a glimpse of the bluish-gray fish.

"Oh yeah, come to Papa!" Eddy continues reeling in the fighting fish... then SPLASH!!

"WHOA!" Eddy gets overpowered and he's nearly pulled overboard, but Ed grabs him by the waist and helps Eddy pull in the fish, which is splashing like crazy. Then the fish suddenly stops struggling, causing the still-pulling Eddy and Ed to fly backwards into the water. They quickly swim back onto the boat, and Eddy grabs his line to continue reeling. The fish doesn't fight this time.

"Ha, seems like he tired himself out!" Eddy chuckles as he reels in the fish, revealed to be a large catfish. But as Eddy lifts the catfish out of the water with his line, the reason it stopped struggling is revealed: _its rear half has been chomped off, much to the Eds' surprise and horror!!_

"OH MY GOD!!" Double-D screams. Ed's eyes are bugged-out, and Eddy utters _"... Holy shit!"_

_Then a HUGE, greenish-brown blur explodes out of the water, seizes the catfish's remains, and plunges back into the water with a giant SPLASH,_ creating a correspondingly giant wave that rocks the Ed's boat and knocks them off their feet!!

_"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!"_ Double-D asks as they get back up. Eddy sees that his fish rod was also chomped in half, so he goes bug-eyed and throws it away! Next, Ed sees a big bluish-green fin coming towards them like a shark. As the giant fish swims closer, it dramatically rises from the water, revealing its prehistoric appearance: muddy green skin with brownish armor-plating on its back (similar to a sturgeon), yellow eyes, and lighter green lips. Then it opens its mouth wide, revealing huge razor-sharp teeth as it ROARS!!!

_"IT'S OL' CHOMPS IN THE FLESH!!!"_ Ed screams, and Double-D immediately starts the boat's engine. They speed away from Ol' Chomps, who gives chase and quickly starts catching up! Seeing this, Double-D moves to shift the engine to "TURBO," but Eddy stops him.

"EDDY, WE'RE BEING CHASED BY A FISH THAT'S WAY OUT OF OUR LEAGUE!!" Double-D yells.

"NO, THAT BEAST HAS 'FIVE-THOUSAND DOLLAR PRIZE' WRITTEN ALL OVER HIM!!" Eddy yells back. _"I'M CATCHIN HIM IF IT KILLS ME!!"_

Eddy grabs a long, heavy bag that he brought along, and opens it to reveal harpoons inside!

"My brother ain't no whaler, _but Grandpa was!"_ Eddy explains how he got the harpoons, then takes one out and aims it between Ol' Chomps's eyes. He throws the harpoon, but Ol' Chomps swims to the side to dodge and bites down onto the boat's engine, tearing it off and making Eddy jump back! Ed grabs the shovel and a hockey stick to use as oars, and he paddles at cartoon-speed as Eddy takes out another harpoon. As Ed tries outmaneuvering Ol' Chomps, Eddy attempts several times to spear the monster fish with his grandfather's harpoons. But all his shots miss until Ed paddles parallel to Ol' Chomps's side. When Ol' Chomps swims up beside the boat...

"GET BACK, DEMON OF THE DEEP!!" Ed uses the hockey stick to whack Ol' Chomps in the eye, but it only angers the fish and he bites off the stick's head, rendering it useless. However, with Ol' Chomps within point-blank range, Eddy takes another harpoon and STABS it into Ol' Chomps's side!!

"I GOT HIM!!" Eddy exclaims, but then Ol' Chomps swims super-fast, leaving Eddy floating in mid-air and he falls back onto the boat. With Ol' Chomps swimming away, the rope of the harpoon stabbed into him is pulled along, and Eddy grabs onto it so he doesn't lose his quarry. But this causes the Eds' boat to be dragged along behind Ol' Chomps at high speed!

"AAAAAAHHH!!" The Eds scream as Ol' Chomps zigzags between floating logs. The Eds' boat crashes through the logs one-after-another, then Ol' Chomps turns 180 degrees to make another bit at the Eds, who SCREAM!! Ed grabs Double-D and Eddy, and jumps off the boat right before gets ripped apart by Ol' Chomps, who continues swimming and dragging the Eds behind him like waterskiiers.

"EDDY, WE'RE COMPLETELY OUTCLASSED!!" Double-D tells Eddy. _"LET HIM GO!!"_

_"NOT UNTIL I GET THE FUCKER ON LAND!!"_ Eddy replies, refusing to release the harpoon rope. Then Ol' Chomps dives under, dragging the Eds down with him. The Eds hold their breath as Ol' Chomps drags them underwater, then the fish swims up and breaks the surface to jump through the air.

"WWWHHHOOOAAA!!!" the Eds scream as Ol' Chomps plunges back down into the depths, then up through the air again, and back under. After another jump, Ol' Chomps dives towards the very bottom, finally forcing Eddy to let go of the harpoon rope. The Eds then swim back to the surface and hold onto a log, drenched and exhausted. Double-D coughs up some water, then scolds Eddy:

"YOU SEE, EDDY?! WE LOST OUR BOAT, OUR EQUIPMENT, OUR STRENGTH, AND OUR STAMINA!!" Double-D screams. _"NOW WE'RE STRANDED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LAKE WITH A MAN-EATING FISH, AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!"_

_"EVERYTHING'S GOTTA BE MY FAULT, RIGHT?!!"_ Eddy asks.

"STOP FIGHTING, GUYS!! WE GOTTA GET BACK TO SHORE!!" Ed grabs Double-D and Eddy to pull them up onto the log with him. But as he does so, Ol' Chomps LEAPS out of the water again and ROARS as he drops down towards them, jaws agape!!

_And the Eds SSSCCCRRRREEEAAAMMM one last time before the screen goes black, and we hear the sounds of a HUGE splash and the log being SMASHED apart!!!..._

* * *

There is darkness, but we hear Sarah's voice: _"What to you two so long?"_

_"You know Zoe; she lives for the thrill of the chase!"_ Jimmy's voice answers.

_"Huh?... Was that Jimmy and Sarah?"_ Ed's voice asks, hearing Sarah and Jimmy.

_"Where are we?"_ Double-D's voice asks, followed by Eddy's _"Who turned out the lights?"_

_"Ok Zoe, let em out!"_ Jimmy's voice says...

... And the Eds are suddenly flushed out into the light, and they see Sarah and Jimmy in front of them!

_"Sarah, Jimmy!"_ Double-D exclaims.

"BABY SISTER!!" Ed jumps up in joy, where he sees that: "Huh?... Hey, we're back at the docks!"

Double-D and Eddy get up and look around, seeing that they;re back at the lake's docks! Eddy asks "How did we get back here? We got swallowed by-"

"Look behind you!" Sarah points behind the Eds, who turn and see Ol' Chomps laying on the dock! The Eds were flushed out of his mouth!

"OL' CHOMPS!!" the Eds scream, but then we hear Zoe inside Ol' Chomps: _"Ahahaha!! This ain't Ol' Chomps!"_

Zoe opens a hatch on top of "Ol' Chomps's" head, and she rises up to reveal herself. She waves to the Eds, and a shocked Eddy shouts _"What the hell?!"_

_"Hey, dudes!"_ Kyle comes onto the dock, smirking and holding a guitar!!

"KYLE!!" the Eds shouts, and Double-D asks _"You got a new guitar?!"_

_"Wait, I thought you wanted US to get ya a new guitar."_ Eddy says.

"I lied!" Kyle reveals. _"This is my guitar! It never broke!"_

The Eds' jaws drop to the dock's floor, and Jimmy explains the whole thing: _"Kyle keeps a bunch of spare guitars in his house just in case something happens, like yesterday with you three and Julian. The moment we heard Julian, Kyle hid his favorite guitar in safety and used one of his substitute guitars instead. And Eddy, when you and Julian came, you destroyed Kyle's substitute! And from there, we set our master payback prank in motion! Sarah used the ruse of having you guys buy Kyle a new guitar, then she and Kyle dressed up as a pirate to lure you three here to Lake Tangerine!"_

The Eds remember the pirate guy that told them about Ol' Chomps, but the pirate guy was actually Sarah and Kyle! Sarah explains "I deepened my voice so you wouldn't notice!" (She used this same trick while impersonating Eddy's brother in "Ed, Pass it On.")

"But how did you guys know where Lake Tangerine was? You couldn't have followed us." Double-D says.

_"I used to live here!"_ Zoe reveals, but Eddy says "I thought you were from Manila!"

"No silly, I was _born_ in Manila." Zoe corrects. _"Then me and my parents moved here, then again to Peach Creek! And while livin here, I learned EVERYTHING about Ol' Chomps!"_

_"And with Zoe's knowledge of Ol' Chomps, the four of us constructed a replica, and Zoe and I operated it to make you Eds scream!"_ Jimmy finishes and he, Sarah, Zoe & Kyle LAUGH!!

_"Just like how you three made me scream!!"_ Kyle laughs.

"WHY THE FUCK WERE YOU SCREAMIN WHEN THE GUITAR I BROKE WAS A SUBSTITUTE?!" Eddy asks esplosively, approaching Kyle. "AND WITH THAT, I DON'T SEE ANY POINT IN YOUR WHOLE SO-CALLED PAYBACK PRANK!!"

_"It's actually revenge for all the crap you three always cause."_ Sarah answers, and Kyle adds _"And the whole screaming thing was for everytime you never let US sleep with your booming music everytime you threw a party, Eddy."_

"THEN LEMME THROW ANOTHER PARTY!!" Eddy rips out a piece of the dock to wield as a weapon, and Kyle, Sarah and Jimmy run as Edy chases them! "COME BACK KIDS, LET'S HAVE A PARTY! _A PARTY WITH YOUR SCREAMS OF PAIN AS THE MUSIC!!"_

After Sarah, Kyle, Jimmy and Eddy disappear into the Lake Tangerine woods, Double-D tells Zoe "As much as I'd hate to admit it, _you four pulled a very cunning and well-planned prank!"_

"I know, wasn't it wicked?!" Zoe asks.

"You had us fooled!" Ed chuckles, then asks "So Zoe, what did you do with that big catfish Eddy was tryin to catch?"

"Huh, what catfish?" Zoe asks.

"Since you and Jimmy were operating the Mecha-Chomps here, we thought you ripped a catfish in two and ate it." Double-D says.

_"We never got a catfish."_ Zoe says.

_"Then... what did?"_ Double-D asks...

_... Then the REAL Ol' Chomps explodes out of the water and onto the dock crocodile-style,_ sending the Mecha-Chomps flying!!! The real Ol' Chomps looks exactly the same, but with more ragged fins, and it ROARS as he uses his fins to push himself towards at Ed, Double-D and Zoe!!

_"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"_ Ed, Double-D and Zoe run screaming as Ol' Chomps snaps at them. But Ol' Chomps, being a fish and thus unable to do much on land, gives up the chase and growls as he pushes himself off the dock and back into the water to wait for more victims.

**The End!!!**

* * *

Trivia: Bernstein's Boathouse is named after one of the show's musicians, Elmer Bernstein. And Ed mentioning Ursula Kanker's aquarium is a throwback to my earlier Teen Series episode "Lesson Number Ed," in which Ursula's aquarium appeared. But now, I have renamed her two fish as Flotsam and Jetsam just to complete the Little Mermaid theme there.


	33. One Flew Over the Eds pt 1

Despite college and the hindering headaches of caffeine withdrawal, I got Teen Series Episode 17 up!! This episode was inspired by a windy day last year, and by one of my favorite EEnE episodes: "One of Those Eds."

And a warning reminder to Dnny By: _do NOT flame my work, or else YOU WILL BE BLOCKED!!_

* * *

_**Episode #17: One Flew Over the Eds**_

* * *

"WHOOOO!!" people cheer from the bleachers of the PCH baseball field as Peach Creek plays a game against the visiting Durian Cove (DC) team, whose colors are brown-&-white. Among the spectators are Ed's dad Stan, Sarah, Jimmy, Kyle and Zoe. The four kids are all eating fudge and candies as they watch the game, while Stan has an arm-full of hotdogs. The Kankers are also present, cheering on the Eds as they play alongside their teammates against Durian Cove. Peach Creek is currently playing defense, with Kevin as the pitcher, Eddy as the catcher, Double-D as first baseman, Jonny as second baseman, Ed as third baseman, and Paul as shortstop. We see an DC baserunner at second base while another comes up to bat. Eddy calls the pitch to Kevin.

"The wind up, and here's the pitch." one of the announcers says as Kevin pitches the ball. The DC batter swings, but misses. "Strike one!" is called out against him. Kevin pitches again, and the DC batter hits the ball towards first base, where Double-D tries catching it

"Ok, I got it! I got it!" Double-D moves and leans back as he tries catching the ball, but it hits him on the head and knocks him down. The ball bounces away a little bit, and he gets up to grab it, then he hears his teammates telling him to throw to second base, and he does so, but it lands short. So Kevin takes the ball.

"DIG FAST, PAUL!" Kevin throws the ball to Paul who's covering second base for Jonny, but Paul isn't paying attention and so fumbles the ball between his hands before he finally gets a firm hold on it. But it's already too late and the runner has already reached second base. Seeing the other runner heading towards home plate, Paul quickly throws the ball to Eddy, who catches it and tags out the DC runner as he tries sliding onto home plate!

"And Gustafson is out!" the second announcer says.

"But it looks like Stewart's concentration broke for a moment, otherwise he would've got the ball right on spot and De Kraker would've been tagged out as well." the first announcer says, and Eddy also notes this.

_"Not only that..."_ Eddy looks at Double-D. In the bleachers, Lee comments "I thought your man would have a stronger arm, Marie."

"Hart didn't exactly perform well, either." the second announcer comments on Double-D. "With most of the batters being right-handed, it's no wonder why he was put on the right side of the field as first baseman."

After the quarter ends, the cheerleaders do their routine and the teams rest. During this time, Eddy asks Paul "What happened out there, Paul? You could've got that guy out."

"I don't know, McMoney." Paul answers._ "I just haven't been on top of my game since me and Tracy broke up."_

"Dude, you gotta put that behind you." Kevin says. "And didn't you say you were gonna_ 'expiriment'_ after that?"

"Yeh, but that's easier said than done." Paul says.

"And you, Double-D; you gotta throw harder." Eddy says. "You said you wanted to join the team to show what you can do, but so far I haven't seen nothin."

"I'm trying, Eddy." Double-D says.

"Don't try, dude. DO it!" Kevin says. _"Coach is expecting you to make a good hit when we go up to bat."_

"Remember, Sockhead._ Give it your all,_ cuz it's gonna be tougher for us to keep our score up without Rolf. Speakin of Rolf, where is he again, Ed?"

_"Rolf couldn't come because he said he had business in Cherry River with this girl named Nell."_ Ed answers.

The next quarter begins, and Jonny steps up to bat. He hits the ball, but is later struck out along with another runner. Kevin makes it to home plate, and Ed scores a home run!

"FANTASTIC!" the first announcer says, but the commentary is then drowned out by May's cheering: "WHOOOOOOOO!! THAT'S MY HOME-RUNNIN HUSBAND!!"

"THAT'S MY BOY!!" Stan shouts, and Sarah, Jimmy, Kyle & Zoe also cheer while cramming their mouths with fudge. Then Double-D steps up to bat, with _"Give it your all"_ echoing through his head. Marie watches excitedly as Double-D positions himself.

"Here it comes..." cheerleader Nazz says as the DC pitcher throws the ball. Double-D swings, but he misses and "Strike one!" is called against him. He tries again, only to get a "Strike two!" On the third swing, he does a spinning swing that spectacularly misses and he falls to the ground, and he hears _"You're out!"_

"And there goes Hart's chance. Boy, was that weak!" the second announcer says, and Marie is in disbelief as Double-D shamefully returns to the bench. Eddy goes up to bat, and he hits a homer just like Ed!

"WHOOOOOO!!" Lee cheers.

When the PC players play defense, the ball is hit to Jonny. He passes the ball to Double-D at first base, but the ball hits Double-D between the eyes and knocks him down. The ball then lands in his glove just as the base is taken and the DC runner proceeds to second base. Later, when he bats again, Marie gets up and lifts up her hoodie and shirt, revealing a blue "EDD" painted onto her stomach. She jumps and cheers "COME ON, CUTIE PIE!! EDDWARD, EDDWARD, EDDWARD!!"

"SHOW EM YOUR GRRR FACE, DOUBLE-D!!" Ed shouts from second base. The pitch is thrown, but Double-D misses. He finally connects with the second swing, but it's a foul ball. Then Double-D remembers that Kevin is at third base, so when the third pitch is thrown, he tries bunting the ball to get Kevin to home plate. But this proves unsuccessful, and both are tagged out.

_"You suck, Double-Douche."_ Kevin scolds, walking backs towards the bench. _"That so wouldn't have happened if Rolf was here."_

"Hey Kev, Jenn's callin you." Jonny gives Kevin his cellphone, and Kevin answers Jenna's call: "Wassup, Jenn?"

_"Hey, Kevvie! Papi can't pick me up after the game, so I need a ride. Will you take me?"_ Jenna asks.

"Sure thing, doll!" Kevin answers. Later, when PC plays defense again, Double-D has to pass the ball to third base. He throws, but again it isn't hard enough, and Eddy completes the throw for him.

"Sorry Marie, _but so far, it looks like only May and I are partyin tonight!"_ Lee tells Marie.

"Says you." Marie scoffs in reply, then shouts "YOU AIN'T EVEN TRYIN, DOUBLE-D!! PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT!!"

_"Marie..."_ Double-D looks at Marie, and later he steps up one more time to bat, though by now, he's noticeably tired. His first swing misses, then his second swing misses, and then he gets hit in the face by a beanball, knocking him down! As he gets up with a baseball mark on his face, the Durian Cove players laugh at him.

"DON'T LET EM PUT YA DOWN, SWEETIE!!" Marie shouts to Double-D to encourage him: _"YOU CAN DO IT!! I KNOW YOU CAN!! I DIDN'T PAINT YOUR NAME ON MY STOMACH FOR NOTHIN!!"_

With that, Double-D gets up and readies himself for one last swing. And this time, he makes a good hit!

"YES!!" Marie cheers, and Double-D's teammates tell him to "RUN, GO GO GO!!" Double-D runs towards first base, sweating and panting in exhaustion. Then the physical strain of baseball finally takes toll on him, and he falls half-way between first and second bases.

"And Hart falls down." the first announcer comments. Double-D tries getting back up, but he's too tired to continue.

_"Damn my physical inadequacy..."_ Double-D curses before falling flat on his face...

* * *

The next day is a windy one, with trees and weather vanes being blown from all sides by powerful gusts. _Up in the sky, we see a hundred-dollar bill drifting along with the wind, which blows the bill down into Peach Creek and over the cul-de-sacs._ Sarah, Jimmy, Kyle and Zoe meet up at a corner.

"Hey, guys! Do any of ya still got leftover fudge from the game last night?" Zoe asks.

"Ate all of mine." Sarah answers, so Zoe turns to Kyle. Kyle responds: "I ate all mine too, but _man, that stuff sure is addictive!"_

"It leaves ya droolin for mooorrrre, doesn't it?!" Zoe asks, licking her lips at the thought of the delicious fudge. _"Mmmmm, pure wickedness in the mouth!"_

"I want more of that scrumptious fudge as well, _so I say we do a scam and buy some sugary sweetness with the profits!"_ Jimmy suggests, gathering his friends into a huddle. "Here's the plan!............................"

"Tell us, Jim Jim!" Zoe tells Jimmy.

"Wait for it." Jimmy says, but he's actually trying to think of a scam. _"............ Ah, just gimme a moment............ Uhhhh............"_

While Jimmy tries thinking of a scam idea, Ed and May walk by, holding hands and May is giggling at something Ed is whispering in her ear.

"Wow, eheeheehee! Poor Eddy!" May laughs. "Now come with me, I got a gift for ya for winnin the game!"

_"Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!!"_ Ed's eyes widen with excited anticipation as May pulls him along by his wrist.

* * *

Double-D is laying in his bed with his face buried in his pillow. We hear his door open, and with a sullen face, Double-D looks...

"Hey, Marie!" Double-D greets. "But could you knock next time?"

"Sorry." Marie apologizes as Double-D puts his face back in his pillow. Marie sits on his bed and puts her hand on his shoulder, asking _"What's wrong, sugar plum?"_

"It's just... _no, it's nothing."_ Double-D lies, but Marie sees through it: "You liar. I bet it's cuz of last night, right?"

"Last night no longer matters. We won the game." Double-D replies, and Marie pulls him up to sit with her.

"But you did nothin to contribute to that win, and you said you wanted to show what you could do. _So are you tellin me you're givin up?"_ Marie asks.

"Marie, please. I don't want-"

"No, don't gimme that shit. _You determined to better yourself,"_ Marie says, moving to sit on Double-D's lap with her arms around his shoulders. _"And I'm gonna help ya keep your word."_

_"Don't tell me you have rigorous physical excercise in mind."_ Double-D says nervously.

_"Ohhhh yeah, I'm gonna work your ass til ya can't work it no more!_ NOW MOVE IT, LET'S GO!!" Marie takes out a whistle and BLOWS it in Double-D's face, forcing him out of his room and outside with her whistle-blowing. Once outside, she yells at Double-D drill-sergeant-style: "NOW WE'RE GONNA TEST YOUR STAMINA WITH A RUN DOWN THE STREET AND AROUND THE BLOCKS!!"

"How far exactly?" Double-D asks, but Marie only BLOWS her whistle in his face again, knocking him down!

"UP ON YOUR FEET!! RUN, BOY, NOW NOW NOW!!" Marie BLOWS her whistle and leads Double-D down Ratthink Avenue. Double-D's running is very slow, and Marie sees this. "IS THAT ALL YOU GOT, HONEY?!! THAT'S PATHETIC!! COME ON, MY NOSE RUNS FASTER!!"

* * *

Meanwhile, near the dumpster in the lane, Eddy and Lee are talking while smoking cigarettes.

_"And it just so happened that the homer I hit landed on and fucked up the dude's car."_ Eddy tells Lee. _"So he started flippin out on me, followed me and the boys all the way home, then he started throwin fuckin rocks at my window to break it like I did his. Then he tells my parents, and they told me to pay off the damages. So now I owe that guy a hundred bucks."_

"How did your mom and dad not hear him tryin to break your window?" Lee asks, puffing smoke.

"Cuz parents are retarded." Eddy answers, flicking away his cigarette. "I'm just glad I'm startin my new job on Monday, so Mr. Scream-his-ass-off will be off my tail when I get my paycheck."

A strong wind blows, and Eddy & Lee brace against the wind as it blows their hair backwards and various small junk is blown past.

"Damn, I gotta check the morning forecast more often." Lee says, then she spots something in the air. "Hey, what's that?"

"What's what?" Eddy also looks up, and Lee points at a little green object flowing along through the air.

"It's... _a hundred-dollar bill!_" Lee exclaims as the hundred-dollar bill drifts above her and Eddy.

"AND IT'S ALL MINE!!" Eddy jumps and ricochets off the dumpster in an attempt to grab the dollar out of the air. But he misses, and scrambles for a few seconds in mid-air before plunging back down and face-planting the ground! "HEY DOLLAR, WHERE YA GOIN!! I CAN BUY SO MANY THINGS WITH YA!!"

"Buy things? _How about usin it to pay off those car damages you just talked about."_ Lee suggests, folowing the dollar's path down the lane.

"You always remind me of shit, Lee." Eddy sneers while getting up. _"And that's why I love ya!"_

Lee jumps onto the fence and runs along the top to grab the 100-dollar bill, but it somehow manages to avoid her grasp every time she swipes for it. Lee eventually falls through a gap in the fence her leg gets caught in it, then Eddy catches up to her. Eddy helps Lee get her leg out, then he grabs a nearby board. Putting the board into the fence gap, he uses it to catapult himself up towards the drifting dollar, but he's only able to touch it with his fingers before falling again. This time, Eddy lands in the creek, which has junk flowing in it. Eddy emerges from the water with a six-soda ring choking him, and while he tries removing it, the dollar drifts along with the wind down the junk-swollen creek, the sight of which sickens Jonny and Nazz as they watch from one of the banks.

_"Uck, are those gangs dumping into the creek again?"_ Nazz asks Jonny.

"No. Me and Plank check for gangs every morning and evening, and we got nothin this morning. _In fact, I haven't seen Dave or any of the other Drupes since Febuary."_ Jonny explains. "And it can't be the junkyard either cuz it ain't overflowin."

"So that means people are just bein careless." Nazz concludes. "We gotta do somethin about this."

"What, Plank?" Jonny asks Plank. _"................ A hundred-dollar bill?! Where?!"_

_"There it is!"_ Nazz points out the hundred-dollar bill drifting just above the creek's surface, then the wind blows it back upwards.

_"Hey, we could use those hundred bucks to make anti-pollution flyers and help clean up the creek!"_ Jonny exclaims. _"Plank says we follow it!"_

* * *

In the trailer park, Ed is laying stomach-down on a reclined lounger in front of the Kanker trailer.

"Here it is, Ed!" May comes out of her trailer with an oversized container of cocoa butter massage lotion. _"A long, soothing back massage after a long, hard game!"_

"Oooo, I never got a back massage before!" Ed exclaims before May tells him to sit up. He does so to allow May to remove his shirt for the massage. But when she lifts Ed's shirt over his head, _May discovers a whole bunch of huge, nasty red pimples covering his back!_

"AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!" May jumps back, throwing the massage lotion into the air and hiding under her trailer. Her freaking out also alarms Ed, who looks back to see his grotesque back acne: "GAAAHH!!" and he falls off the lounger!

"Eeeeeek!" May recoils under her trailer as Ed gets up.

"Wait, May. _I remember Double-D telling me these are pimples or acne or something."_ Ed explains after calming from his own freak-out.

_"Pimples? I think one of em moved!"_ May says, still grossed out as she emerges from under her trailer. She cringes again at the sight of Ed's acne: _"It's so icky and gross! Put your shirt back on!"_

"I'm on it, May!" Ed puts his shirt back on, but while reaching for his jacket on the lounger, a strong wind blows it away and it snags on a tree branch at the edge of the trailer park. A panicking Ed runs up to the tree and climbs to the branch his jacket is stuck on. As he takes his jacket from the branch, the wind blows the 100-dollar bill right past his face in slow-motion! He immediately calls "MAY!!!"

"YES, POOKIE BEAR?!" May asks, coming to the tree.

"I SAW A HUNDRED-DOLLAR BILL FLY BY!!" Ed tells May. "IT WENT THIS WAY!"

"GOODIE, WE COULD TREAT YOUR PIMPLES WITH IT!!" May exclaims as Ed drops out of the tree, and he & May follow the drifting dollar out of the trailer park and back towards the neighborhood.

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

Trivia: Gustafson and De Kraker, two of the Durian Cove players, were named after storyboard artists Lucas Gustafson and Mike De Kraker. May calling Ed "pookie bear" is another reference to "Ed Overboard," and Jonny mentioning Dave and the Drupes is a throwback to my earlier Teen Series episode "I Get an Ed Out of You."

I based some of the boys' baseball positions on "Boys Will be Eds," and Rolf's reason of absence is another foreshadowing, so stay tuned, readers! Also, I completed "Rise of the Gourd" and I have my version of the Peach Creek map up on deviantArt!


	34. One Flew Over the Eds pt 2

Here's part 2 to Episode 17! And a message to Neo HBB Sam: I'm fully aware of Double-D being unfit for sports and all, but I put him on the baseball team for plot purposes, kinda like how he was unfit for football in "Tight End Ed."

* * *

Jenna walks out of the supply store with a bag full of items. Jenna herself has a large X-shaped bandage on her right cheek. As she walks back towards her house, Kevin approaches her.

"Hey Jenn, uh..."

"What?" Jenna asks gruffly.

"Ok look, I know why you're mad. _I'm sorry for what happened last night with my motorcycle."_ Kevin apologizes.

"Sorry ain't gonna fix my cheek." Jenna points at her bandaged cheek. "You should've cleaned out your motor before the game."

"I ran out of motor oil." Kevin replies. "So I was wonderin, could I borrow a little bit of mula from your purse? Say, fifty or so?"

"No, get a job. Life ain't all sports, y'know." Jenna replies, turning away to make her leave. But Kevin starts massaging her shoulders!

"But didn't ya say you'd do anything for your _'precious baby boy?'"_ Kevin asks Jenna as he massages her shoulders, which is enough to coerce her.

"Oh alright, lemme- wait wait wait!" Jenna smacks Kevin's arms away. "You thought you could get me with the old massage trick, eh? Nice try, Jocky!"

"Dammit, massaging always worked." Kevin snaps his fingers in frustration, then a strong wind blows his hat off. "MY HAT!"

"I'll get it!" Jenna chases after Kevin's hat, and Kevin follows.

* * *

At a street corner, Jimmy is sitting behind a bush with his face buried in his arms. Sarah, Kyle and Zoe come around the bush to see him.

"Well, anything yet, Jimmy?" Sarah asks. Jimmy mumbles something, but it's muffled by his arms.

"Huh?" Kyle asks, putting an ear closer to Jimmy. "What was that, Jimbo?"

Jimmy mumbles again, but only the words "think" and "scam" can be made out.

"Come on, speak up." Sarah demands. Jimmy finally looks up.

_"I can't think of a scam."_ Jimmy confesses in an upset tone.

"Well, thanks for wastin our time with-" Sarah starts, but is interrupted by Kyle.

"Sarah, don't be rude." Kyle tells Sarah before kneeling towards Jimmy: "It's no big deal, man. You're just havin a mental block."

"Mental block my butt cheeks." Jimmy snaps at Kyle, then he starts getting up. "This never happened to me before. Sarah's right; I'm just wasting all your time. So just go on with your other business and let me be."

"No, _think about the fudge!"_ Zoe urges while shaking Jimmy. Then she goes "Huh?" upon seeing the 100-dollar bill wisping by above them! "FORGET THE SCAM! THAT'S A HUNDRED-DOLLAR BILL!!"

The four kids yell over each other as they follow the dollar through the air. As it goes further away, Kevin's hat is blown towards it. The dollar gets caught inside Kevin's hat, and the hat descends into the playground, landing upside-down inside a treehole with its brim sticking out. Double-D and Marie are right next to the tree, with Marie working Double-D by having him do push-ups while she sits atop his back, smoking a cigarette.

_"Sssiiixxx!..... Ssseeevvveeennn!!..... Eeeiiiggghhhttt!!!....."_ Double-D squeals out as he strains to do his exhuasting push-ups, reddening and sweating profusely as he lifts Marie at the same time. He falls after his eighth rep, and Marie takes her cigarette out of her mouth to BLOW her whistle above Double-D's head, making his eyes BUG out.

"I didn't tell ya to stop. I want twelve more." Marie tells Double-D as she puffs smoke, coughing a bit.

_"I can't..... It hurts!....."_ Double-D weakly mutters, catching his breath. _"I think that... running around four blocks and doing jumping jacks, sit-ups, squats, and chin-ups on the monkey bars... is... enough for one day... I don't think I can do another push-up, especially with you on top of me."_

"Don't be such a girl." Marie scolds, but Double-D reasons _"But Marie, I only weigh 109 pounds while you're 123."_

"Ok fine, just two more." Marie says. "And remember, push up til my head reaches the treehole or it's no good."

Double-D's facial veins nearly pop as he strains to do another push-up, slowly lifting Marie up.

_"Just a little more!"_ Marie cheers on Double-D as he almost brings her head up to treehole-level. This is when Kevin's hat catches Marie's eye. "What's this?"

Marie takes Kevin's hat out of the treehole, and discovers the 100-dollar bill inside!

"OH MY GOD, DOUBLE-D!! LOOK WHAT I FOUND IN KEV'S HAT!!" Marie shows the dollar to Double-D. "Come on, we'll buy some protein shakes for ya at the mall! Those will help buff ya up! Let's go!"

Marie starts running while Double-D gets up from the push-ups, but Marie quickly tires and drops to her knees shortly afterwards, having a coughing spasm. Double-D rushes up.

"Marie, are you ok?" Double-D helps Marie up as she continues coughing. _"It's those cigarettes, isn't it? I warned you of the lung damage smoking would eventually cause."_

"But... Mom smokes, Lee smokes, Eddy smokes, all my friends smoke, _and so... I smoke."_ Marie explains. "May is the only one who doesn't."

"Marie, just because your friends and family smoke doesn't mean you have to follow suit." Double-D says, taking the dollar from Marie. "I suggest we use the dollar to purchase some Nicorette. It'll aid in your withdrawal!"

_"Sorry, but we saw the dollar first!"_ Eddy calls out, arriving with Lee. "I need it to pay off car damages."

_"Sucks for you, then, cuz WE'RE buyin fudge with it!"_ Sarah calls out as she, Jimmy, Kyle and Zoe arrive. Jimmy states "Teens like you could get jobs, so hand it over."

"Teens also have more important uses for money, kiddos." Eddy retaliates, taking the 100-dollar bill from Double-D and raising it overhead to keep it out of Sarah's and Zoe's reach. Then Kevin, being taller than Eddy, grabs the dollar.

"The dollar was in my hat, so that makes it mine!" he says while Jenna retrieves his hat from Marie and puts it back on his head. Then Lee tosses both aside and takes the dollar.

"Dream on, boy." Lee tells Kevin. "Eddy needs it the most."

_"No, Ed needs it!"_ May jumps onto Lee from behind and takes the dollar, but then Sarah, Zoe and Marie pile up on her & Lee, weighing them down as they squabble over the dollar. Then Ed picks up the girls to stop their fight, and he takes the dollar from Sarah.

"Sorry sis, but I need it most!" Ed tells Sarah before Eddy tries taking the dollar from Ed, but Ed shakes him off.

"Please Ed, what are YOU gonna do with a hundred bucks?" Eddy asks, so Ed reveals the massive pimples on his back. Eddy recoils, screaming "MY EYES!!" as Ed runs off with the dollar towards the playground's exit. But Nazz and Jonny appear at the exit.

"Ed, will you be a good fellow and please give us that dollar?" Nazz asks, her hand out.

"Mother Nature will thank you!" Jonny adds. Ed hesitates, allowing Kyle to slide under him and snatch the dollar. Jonny goes "HEY, YOU!" as Kyle runs with the dollar. May chases Kyle up the slide's ladder. Kyle goes down the slide, only to get caught by Lee at the bottom.

"JIMMY!" Kyle throws the dollar to Jimmy, who catches it. But before he can make off with it, Jimmy finds himself surrounded by the Kankers, Nazz and Jenna.

"Hand it over, Dutch." Lee commands as she and the other girls close in on Jimmy, but Jimmy holds the dollar away. Jenna tells Jimmy "Don't listen to Lee. Give it here!"

_"I'm trapped like a rat! What do I do?"_ Jimmy panics.

"I GOT IT, JIM JIM!!" Zoe slips between Nazz and Marie to take the dollar, then she slips out between Lee and May who try catching her, but they crash into one anothers' heads instead. Zoe outruns Double-D, laughingly runs circles around Kevin as he tries in vain to grab her, holds down a spring-rider and lets it go to whack Jenna into the ground, then she uses one of the swings to flip over Ed and onto the turnabout. Ed, Kevin and Marie jump onto the turnabout to take the dollar from Zoe, but Eddy spins the turnabout. The spinning sends Ed, Kevin, Marie and Zoe flying in different directions. Falling towards the playground's tree, Zoe grabs onto one of the branches to break her fall, but Eddy climbs up and grabs her ankle.

"There's no escape now, Zoey!" Eddy shouts. "GIMME MY HUNDRED!"

_"I'm a little squid sprayin INK!"_ Zoe raises her free leg and FARTS into Eddy's face!

_"BLLLAAAGH!!"_ Eddy's eyes water and he holds his nose, causing him to fall back down!

"Hahaha!" Zoe watches Eddy fall, but she pulls her self onto the branch, Jonny appears and snatches the dollar from her.

"Thank you!" Jonny jumps off the branch and onto the seesaw's higher end, sending Sarah flying off the other.

"HAND OVER BEN FRANKLIN, OR I'LL HANDLE YOU ROUGHLY!" Kevin yells as he wrestles Jonny on the seesaw for the dollar, but Jonny shoves Plank in Kevin's face to blind him. As Jonny and Kevin tug the dollar, Ed jumps onto the seesaw's other end to catapult them wwwaaaaaaayyy up into the air towards the direction of the junkyard.

"ED, YOU RETARD! WHAT THE HELL DID YA DO THAT FOR?!" Eddy asks angrily.

"... TO THE JUNKYARD!" Ed piggybacks May, then dashes with her through the lane's fence and towards the junkyard, where Kevin & Jonny land atop a junk-pile and continue wrestling for the dollar. They tumble down the junk-pile's side as they do so.

* * *

The others, meanwhile, are racing against each other down the lane. Marie is piggybacking on Double-D.

"WE GOTTA GET THAT DOLLAR, HONEYMAGGOT! SO IT'S TIME TO USE THE FRUITS OF YOUR TRAININ AND RUN FASTER!!" Marie BLOWS her whistle at Double-D again. But Double-D is exhausting again, and he & Marie are passed by the roller-skating Nazz & Jenna.

"Hey Jenn, since Jonny and Kev are fighting over the dollar right now, you think we can talk em into splitting it fifty-fifty?" Nazz asks. "That way, all four of us will be straight!"

"Oh it'll be split!" Jenna replies. "Half for Kevin's motor oil, _and half so I can pretty myself up more!_ GYAHAHAHA!" Jenna laughs and skates ahead, leaving Nazz in the dust.

_"Jenna, you concieted..."_ Nazz grumbles in disgust, but she ends her sentence before saying the b-word, and she skates faster. Meanwhile, Sarah, Jimmy, Kyle and Zoe enter the lane on their bikes (Sarah's is pink, Jimmy's is purple, Kyle's is blue, and Zoe's is bright green). Then Eddy & Lee come out of Double-D's garage with a jetpack he made (similar to the one from "In like Ed"), but they're tugging and arguing over it.

"I TOLD YA I'LL FLY THE JETPACK WHILE YOU HOLD ON!" Lee yells at Eddy.

"WHAT, AND LOOK LIKE A SIDEKICK IN FRONT OF THE AUDIENCE?! I DON'T THINK SO, SO I'M FLYIN IT!" Eddy yells back, tugging the jetpack.

"EDDY, WE'RE WASTIN TIME WHILE THE OTHERS ARE GETTIN THE DOLLAR!! SO GIMME!!" Lee tugs the jetpack, but Eddy tugs back. Then Eddy tries getting a better hold to take it from Lee, but in doing so, he accidentally pushes the jetpack's power lever, which has three speed levels: FAST, SUPER FAST, and DANGEROUSLY FAST. Eddy's accidental pushing of the lever sets it to DANGEROUSLY FAST, and the jetpack BLASTS off with Eddy & Lee holding onto it with one hand each!

"WHOOOAAAAAA!!!" Eddy and Lee scream as the hold onto the looping-&-zigzagging jetpack, which flies out of the cul-de-sac and into the lane. The jetpack slams into Jimmy, Kyle, Zoe and Sarah (in that order), sending their bikes crashing aside and the jetpack's extreme speed sticks the kids to its front. Then it hits Double-D and Marie, who drops her whistle upon getting hit. Then the jetpack hits Nazz, then Jenna, then Ed and May!!

"AAAAAAAHHHH!!!" everyone screams as they fly on the jetpack, and in his panic, Jimmy kicks the lever past DANGEROUSLY FAST, making the jetpack go even FASTER!! It flies through- and destroys- the dumpster at the end of the lane (the same one Rolf and Wilfred crashed into during the BPS chase), then it flies though the woods, up over the junk-riddled creek, then down into the junkyard. After zigzagging between several junk-piles and throwing off everyone in different parts of the junkyard in the process, the jetpack finally loops downwards and explodes upon hitting the ground. By now, everyone is bruised and their clothes ripped.

"WHOOOO, THAT FLIGHT WAS EPIC!!" Zoe exclaims as she gets up.

"JONNY!" Nazz spots Jonny running with the dollar from Kevin. She rushes to help Jonny, only to be intercepted by Jenna.

"You ain't helpin no one, Nazzie. GO KEVIN, GO!" Jenna cheers for Kevin while holding back Nazz.

"TAKE THE DOLLAR, BUDDY!" Jonny shoves the dollar into the tiny slit next to Plank's bigger nook, then he throws Plank away from Kevin. Double-D is getting up from being thrown off the jetpack when Plank falls towards him and lands inside his tooth gap, knocking him back a bit.

"Plank?..." Double-D pulls Plank out of his tooth-gap, and just as he notices the dollar in Plank's slit...

"THERE IT IS!" Sarah spots Double-D & Plank with the dollar, and she, Jimmy and Kyle charge at them.

"Watch your step!" Marie sticks her leg out to trip Sarah, Jimmy and Kyle, then tells Double-D "Let's get outta here quick before the rest find us."

"Right!" Double-D affirms, but Ed takes the dollar while Double-D isn't looking. "HUH?!"

"NO HARD FEELINGS, GUYS, BUT MY BACKSIDE IS TOO LUMPY!" Ed shouts to Double-D and Marie while putting the dollar in his jacket's pocket. Then Lee and Nazz grab Ed by his arms, and as he tries shaking them off, Eddy reaches into his jacket's pocket.

"GOTCHA!" Eddy takes the dollar before hearing May's "OH NO, YA DON'T!"

May drops down onto Eddy and they struggle against one another. Eddy drags May by his ankle as he tries getting away, but May bites his leg! Eddy SCREAMS in pain, provoking Lee!

_"MAAAYYY!!"_ Lee lets go of Ed and furiously attacks May, so Ed tries pulling off Lee while simultaneously attempting a Nelson hold on her. Nazz takes advantage of Eddy's, May's, Lee's and Ed's distraction by taking the dollar from Eddy. Immediately afterwards, Nazz gets tackled by Sarah while Jimmy and Kyle hold off Marie. Sarah passes the dollar to Zoe, but Jenna uses Plank to WHACK the dollar out of Zoe's hands, causing her to YELP in pain!

_"HOW DARE YOU USE PLANK LIKE THAT!!"_ Jonny angrily grabs Jenna!

_"GET OFF MY GIRL!!"_ Kevin jumps on Jonny and starts punching him to break his grip on Jenna, then Nazz pulls a golf putter out of a junk-pile and yells _"YOU GET OFF MY BOY!!"_ as she WHACKS Kevin in the crotch, making his face scrunch up and his eyes BUG out!!

Double-D grabs the dollar while Jenna, Kevin, Jonny and Nazz are distracted, but Eddy approaches him: "It's MINE!"

"No, OURS!" Sarah and Zoe approach, followed by everyone else and they force Double-D to back up against a junk-pile.

_"Everyone, please!"_ Double-D begs as Marie comes in front to protect him from the others. While climbing up a bit, Double-D explains _"As much-desired as this dollar bill is, we can't let it tear us all apart and destroy our friendships! So how do you all like the option of splitting the dollar into equal shares?"_

_"... NOO!!!"_ everyone (including Marie) answers, then they all (except Marie) lunge up at Double-D. Jonny pushes Ed down to reach Double-D, but May and Jenna reach him first. Marie holds them off while Sarah takes the putter from Nazz. After she throws Nazz down, Sarah climbs up and whacks down May and Jenna while they were preoccupied with Marie, then Sarah swings at Marie. Marie bends the putter, throws it, then throws a punch at Sarah, who grabs Marie's fist and sucker-punches her.

"Double-D,_ give me the dollar and I'll buy ya jawbreakers!"_ Sarah promises.

"LAY OFF, YA LITTLE SKANK!!" Marie kicks Sarah down, then is thrown down herself by Lee. Kyle catches Sarah as she falls and throws her back up towards Double-D, but Lee grabs Sarah and tries throwing her back down. Jimmy angrily hops onto Lee's hair, allowing Eddy and Kevin to get onto Double-D.

"YOU LEAVE SARAH ALONE!" Jimmy pulls Lee's hair, and she SCREAMS in pain as her eyes bug out! Eddy turns to help Lee, causing Kevin's punch to miss Eddy and he hits Double-D instead, provoking Marie!

_"NOBODY HITS MY MAN BUT ME!!"_ Marie's hair BLAZES into blue fire that burns her already-damaged hat to crisp and sends Zoe, Jonny and Ed flying off her! Marie furiously climbs up towards Kevin and BEATS him down!! This in turn provokes Jenna!

"YOU FUCK WITH KEVIN," Jenna starts before lunging at Marie and knocking her down, then finishes _"THEN YOU FUCK WITH ME!!"_

Jenna punches Marie's face, then Marie gets on top of Jenna and does the same. Jenna rips off some of Marie's hair, who SHRIEKS in pain and angers even more!

_"FUCKIN BIIIIITCH!!"_ the red-faced Marie pulls Jenna's hair fringe, and their fight takes them onto large metal sheet sticking out of the junk-pile while the rest continue after Double-D. Marie and Jenna repeatedly slip and slide on the metal sheet as they fight, because their weight is causing the sheet to slowly slip downwards. It eventually gives out and falls, and since it was holding up the top of the junk-pile, all the junk on top dramatically avalanches down and buries everyone under it!!

Ed emerges from the fallen junk with Eddy stuck through the inside of his head, Eddy's head and legs sticking out of Ed's ears.

_"Where is it? Where's the dollar?!"_ Eddy asks frantically, squeezing out of Ed's head as the others rise up one-by-one.

"Oh dear, it's no longer in my possession!" Double-D panics. Everyone, except the still-buried Jonny and Kyle, starts searching through the junk. May finds the dollar, and holds it up!

"FOUND IT, ED!!" May exclaims, but a strong wind blows the dollar out of her hand and high into the sky! "NO, COME BACK!!"

_"No treatment BAD FOR ED!!"_ Ed grabs May, removes her torn bow and kerchief, and uses her now-loose hair like a parasol to catch the wind and fly off after the dollar!

"That was clever." Double-D comments, then Marie grabs his cheeks. _"M-Marie?! This is no time for-"_

_"This ain't just a kiss."_ Marie interrupts and kisses Double-D, but Marie is actually blowing air into Double-D's hat to inflate it like a balloon, and she grabs onto his ankles as he floats up and away with the wind! "WE'RE GETTIN THAT DOLLAR!"

"NOT IF WE GET IT FIRST!! HOLD ON, LEE!" Eddy pulls his chain to make his three hairs spin helicopter-style (like in "Ed, Edd, and Away"), and Lee holds onto his ankles as he flies off to race against the other Eds and Kankers.

"FOLLOW EM!!" Kevin and Jenna follow the Eds and Kankers on foot while Nazz pulls Jonny out from some junk.

"Plank's ok, _but I think my leg's broken."_ Jonny tells Nazz.

_"Ok, I'll call the hospital."_ Nazz replies while Kyle emerges from under the junk.

_"Guys, look what I found!"_ Kyle shows Sarah, Jimmy and Zoe something. Sarah and Jimmy recognize it as...

_"THE THINGAMAJIG!!"_ they exclaim!

* * *

Meanwhile, the Ed-&-Kanker pairs are flying after the dollar. Eddy & Lee fly ahead, and Lee tries grabbing the dollar while Ed and May start sinking down.

"SUCKS FOR YOU TWO! YOU NEED WIND FOR LIFT!" Eddy laughs at Ed and May, but he and Lee get blown sideways by the wind along with Double-D and Marie.

"And our direction is controlled by said wind, Eddy." Lee counters Eddy, then the dollar floats next to Marie. She reaches for it, but Eddy lowers himself and grabs it. As he and Lee turn to fly away, Ed flicks out his tongue to wrap around Lee's leg to pull her and Eddy down with him and May.

"EWW, LET GO OF MY BOOT!" Lee yells at Ed before the wind blows upwards, bringing Ed and May back up, and Ed reels in his tongue to draw Lee and Eddy towards him. But then Marie snatches the dollar from Eddy with her toes, having removed her sneaker and sock to do so, and she blows her tongue at the other two pairs. Then the dollar gets snatched from her!

_"The hell?!..."_ Marie looks, and sees it was Jimmy who grabbed the dollar! He's using his other arm to hold onto Zoe, who's flying by using her pigtails as mini-copters!!

_"We'll be makin off now!"_ Jimmy smugly says, and Zoe sings "I BELIEVE I CAN FLYYYYYY!!" before flying off. But they, along with the Eds and Kankers, get blown sideways by the wind, sending them over the Vorliks' sheep herd. Kevin and Jenna try going through the herd to keep track of the Eds, Kankers, Jimmy and Zoe. After Kevin pushes and throws several sheep out of their way...

_"Kevin, stop throwin the sheep like that! You'll set off..."_ Jenna's warning is cut short when she and Kevin hear an approaching growl._.._

... Then Fido, fulfilling his duty of protecting the herd, LEAPS out over the sheep towards Kevin and Jenna!! Jenna screams and runs!

_"HOLY-"_ Kevin gets knocked down by Fido, and a dust cloud is created as Fido mauls him. Kevin's screams of agony spook the sheep herd, triggering a stampede!

"GET BACK!! AAAAAHHHH-" Jenna gets trampled under the countless sheep! Back up in the sky, Ed now has the dollar.

"HAH!" Lee swing-jumps from Eddy and onto Ed to try taking the dollar. While they struggle, Zoe uses one of her pigtail-copters to cut a slit through May's hair, destroying her aerodynamic ability. May shrieks "ED!" and Ed, who lost the dollar to the wind, quickly shakes off Lee to wrap his legs around May's back and use his jacket as a makeshift glider. Eddy swoops down to catch Lee, but as he flies back up with her, a hatchet whizzes by from below! They and the other Eds & Kankers look, and see that the hatchet was fired by Sarah via the Thingamajig! Kyle is at Sarah's side.

"Yes, Sarah has finally opened fire!" Jimmy exclaims.

_"Let's pick em off!"_ Sarah says with a devilish grin. She repeatedly presses the Thingamajig's button to shoot various projectiles at the Eds and Kankers. Jimmy & Zoe and Eddy & Lee are able to dodge, but when the Thingamajig fires an arrow, it pierces through Double-D's hat, deflating it.

_"WE'RE GOING DOWN!!"_ Double-D screams as Marie climbs up onto him, and they hold onto one another for dear life and SCREAM as they drop out of the air.

_"Two down, four to go!"_ Sarah continues her Thingamajig onslaught, including a porcupine ball that goes into Eddy's mouth. Then the Thingamajig fires a toy rocket, its pointed tip tearing through Ed's jacket, and the blowing wind sends him & May spiraling out of control!

"WHOOOAAAAA!!" Ed and May scream as they zigzag downwards. But as they go down, May takes Jimmy and Zoe with them by grabbing Jimmy's leg, and they all scream as they fall towards Sarah & Kyle. Sarah and Kyle try running but Ed, May, Jimmy and Zoe crash-land into them before they could.

_"FINALLY, no more competition!"_ Lee exclaims, then Eddy laughs at his fallen opponents:

_"HAHAHAHA, SUCK ON THAT, BITCHES!! Ok I got this one in the bag, Lee!"_ Eddy continues after the dollar. He quickly catches up to it, _and his excitement grows more and more as he flies closer, closer....._

_.... And ZZZZZAAAAAPPPPP!!!_ Just as Eddy was about to grab the dollar, his hair got caught on a power line between two of the transmission towers near the neighborhood, electrocuting him and Lee!! The massive voltage blackens them and they plummet towards the ground, turning into bug-eyed piles of crisp upon hitting the ground!! Ed & May, Double-D & Marie, Sarah, Jimmy, Kyle and Zoe saw the whole thing from the nearby street, and they watch the wind blow the dollar away and out of sight.

"Well, _that's a wicked end to a wicked day!_ I'm not hungry for fudge anymore, so I'm takin a nap." Zoe leaves.

_"Farewell, intensive acne treatment."_ Ed mourns, May comforting him.

"Ugh, you know what, Ed? _Why don't ya ask Mom or Dad to get you some?"_ Sarah suggestively asks. "I mean, it's not that hard."

"Oh wow!" Ed knocks himself on the head. _"What a numbskull I am for not thinkin of that!_ Ok, Sarah! HEY, MOM!"

Ed runs home with May following him, then Sarah, Jimmy and Kyle leave.

_"I can't help but feel that we wouldn't have lost those hundred dollars if we were only more civil towards each other."_ Double-D sighs. _"I guess the only thing we can hope for now is that such valuable currency makes it back to its original owner."_

Hearing this, Marie shows her disagreement by knocking down Double-D with a push.

* * *

Meanwhile, Paul is listening to music on his i-Pod while laying on his bed. He gets up to take a breath.

"Hmm, kinda stuffy up in here." Paul gets up to open his window and let in some fresh air. Upon opening his window, _a strong wind blows inside, and the 100-dollar bill flies into his face!_ Blinded by the dollar, Paul feels around to close his window and take the dollar off his face. He holds it between his hands...

"OH SHIT, A HUNDRED DOLLARS!! WHAHOOHOOHOO, MY FORTUNE COOKIE WAS RIGHT!!" Paul dances around in joy! _"Yes, now I got the cash money for my experimentations!"_

**The End!!!**

* * *

Trivia: Marie calling Double-D "honeymaggot" is a combination of the affectionate "honeybun" and a stereotypical drill sergeant calling his men "maggots." And Zoe's _"I'm a little squid"_ line is a reference to my applying sea animal themes for the characters, meaning that Zoe's theme is the squid, and the stuffed sea turtles in Kyle's bedroom (shown in my previous episode) say the same for him.

That's all for now, so stay tuned for Sarah's episode next week!


	35. Stark Raving Ed pt 1

No author's note this time, so enjoy Episode 18!!

* * *

_**Episode #18: Stark Raving Ed**_

* * *

**Sarah's Diary:**

_"Dear Diary,_

_Today was one of the craziest and most significant days of my life! I never thought I'd be able to do something of such magnitude, nor did I ever think that I'd be my own worst enemy. Even my friends couldn't help and all they were able to do was watch, but you know what they say: sometimes, the only one who could help you is yourself._

_It all started two nights ago..."_

* * *

The Peach Creek night is illuminated by street lights and house lights, including the light from Nazz's bedroom. Inside, we hear her giggling along with others. We see the inside of Nazz's room, which has numerous posters (including the Diospyros band mentioned in "Rise of The Gourd") on one side, and pictures of all her friends on the other. Among the portraits is Ian's, which has a fat red X crossed through it (after the events of "Lovey Dovey Lugaboo").

Nazz herself is having a slumber party with Jenna, Sarah and Zoe, all wearing their bedtime attire. Nazz's consists of a white tanktop and pink-&-white shorts with her hair in a ponytail like Jenna's. The four girls are sitting on the floor, spinning a bottle which points at Jenna:

"Ok, Jenn! Who's your favorite actor?" Nazz asks.

"I'll go with... Johnny Depp!" Jenna answers, then she spins the bottle. It points at Zoe.

"Your favorite jawbreaker flavor?!" Jenna asks Zoe.

"Sour apple-lime, hence my green tongue!" Zoe answers, taking her turn to spin the bottle, which points at Sarah.

"Who would you rather marry, Justin Bieber or Apolo Ohno?" Zoe asks Sarah, and Nazz & Jenna go "Oooo!"

"Wow, that's a tough one." Sarah says, thinking of who she'd marry.

"Apolo's my husband! I'm just sayin!" Zoe giggles softly, then Sarah comes up with her answer:

"I'll have to go with Justin! I just love him more, plus he's closer to my age!" Sarah answers. "Now it's my turn to spin!"

Sarah spins the bottle. It points at Nazz, and Sarah asks "What's your zodiac sign?"

"Gemini, baby!" Nazz answers, then spins the bottle.

Eddy, Kevin and Paul are hiding in Nazz's closet, watching the girls through the closet doors' slits. Eddy is holding a camcorder, and Paul is wearing a baby shirt and bonnet. The three whisper to each other:

_"Paul, you know you're gonna get annihilated if you go through with this, right?"_ Kevin asks.

_"I read that girls like bein motherly and all that, so that's what I'm testin out with this experiment!"_ Paul explains. _"Is the cam rollin, McMoney"_

_"Yeah!"_ Eddy answers, suppressing a chuckle. _"We got your tombstone ready, just in case!"_

Meanwhile, Nazz asks Zoe: "Favorite game?"

"DDR for the win!" Zoe answers and gets up to dance. Shortly afterward, Paul leaps out of Nazz's closet, revealing that he's also wearing a diaper and is shaking a rattle!

"WWAAAAAHHH!!" Paul cries. "I'm a little baby who shat himself and needs his diaper changed!"

"GAAAAHH!!" Nazz screams while Zoe laughs!

"PAUL, GET OUTTA HERE NOW!!" Sarah yells, and Jenna adds "WE'RE HAVIN GIRL TIME!"

_"Hehehehehe!"_ Eddy gleefully records Paul's baby act, and Kevin whispers _"Kick his ass, Jenn!"_

"Where's my baby formula, Mommy Nazzalicious?!" Paul asks. "I need my binky, Baby Bonita! I'm a growin boy, Cray-Z! C'mon, Huffy Puff (Sarah's nickname); get with the program!"

"THAT'S IT!!" Sarah kicks Paul through the closet door, smashing it apart and exposing Eddy & Kevin!

"Oh, shit." Kevin utters, and the boys see Sarah turning red and her teeth sharpening!

"RUN!!" Eddy shouts, dashing out through Nazz's door with Kevin and Paul as the girls chase them. Eddy still records the chase!

"I LOVE CHASIN BOYS! LET'S MAKE EM PRETTY!" Zoe shouts, and the heated Sarah jumps ahead to separate Paul from Eddy and Kevin.

"WAIT, HUFFY PUFF!! I'M A BABY!! _YOU CAN'T TOUCH ME!!"_ Paul screams, running into Nazz's kitchen in a futile attempt to avoid Sarah's wrath while Nazz and Jenna chase Eddy and Kevin out through the front door. Sarah corners Paul who tries defending himself, but Sarah catches his fist, and her eyes turn yellow...

Outside, Eddy and Kevin hear Paul's pain-filled SCREAMS from Nazz's kitchen.

"I knew him well." Kevin says.

"But hey, at least now he's actually gonna cry like a baby!" Eddy exclaims as Nazz and Jenna go back inside. Once they enter the kitchen, they gasp at the sight that awaits. _The entire kitchen has been devastated, with shattered dishware and window pieces everywhere._ Zoe comes out from under the sink, where she was hiding while Sarah beat Paul._ Paul is drooling on the floor as he is heavily bruised; black-eyed; lost several teeth; has a part of his tongue chomped off; and his baby shirt, diaper and bonnet are all torn and his bruised butt is showing! An arm and leg have also been twisted!! The still-red Sarah stands over him, and she spits out the piece of Paul's tongue she bit off._

_"Oh my God! Sarah, what did you do?!"_ Nazz asks in alarm, rushing to Paul with Jenna. Even Zoe looks worried!

"Paul?... PAUL?!..." Jenna tends to Paul. As she does so, Sarah's red skin, sharp teeth and yellow eyes return to normal, and Sarah gasps upon seeing the brutalized Paul.

"Is that... _Paul?!"_ Sarah asks in shock.

"Who the hell do you think? _YOU'RE the one who did this to him!"_ Jenna reveals to Sarah.

_"I'm calling the hospital."_ Nazz grabs the phone, then Zoe checks out the unconscious Paul. She then turns to Sarah: "Sarah, I know Paul had it comin, _but did ya really have to wail on him this hard?"_

_"Oh, God..."_ Sarah utters in horror. _"I... I..."_ she stutters, then she runs out of the house.

* * *

The next day, we hear Ed shout "YAHOO!" as he barges out through his door. He's wearing pillows over his front and back (held together by rope) as padding, the turtle from "From Here to Ed" and "Run Ed Run" as his helmet, and safety goggles.

"SAY YOUR PRAYERS, EDDY N KEV, FOR CAPTAIN MARKSPUCK SHALL SHOW NO MERCY! AHAHAHA!" Ed brandishes a hockey stick and runs upstairs. Double-D follows him up, telling him "Ed, don't! Be aware of the damage you three will cause!"

Double-D chases Ed outside to stop him, and we see dozens of hockey pucks scattered outside. Meanwhile, Sarah is sitting with Kyle at her kitchen table. Both are wearing tennis outfits.

_"So that's why Paul was in a full body cast..."_ Kyle says gloomily after Sarah told him what happened last night. He looks at Sarah again: "You still got the relaxin ball I gave you on Christmas?"

"Yeah it's in my drawer. I just never thought I'd have to use it at a slumber party." Sarah answers.

_"I say it's best you keep the ball on ya at all times."_ Kyle says. _"You never know when you'll need it."_

"Right." Sarah agrees, going upstairs to get her relaxation ball, returning downstairs with it and telling Kyle "Now let's get to the lane. Jimmy and Zoe are waitin for us!"

* * *

While Sarah and Kyle enter the lane, Ed, Eddy and Kevin are roller-skating around, shooting pucks at each other with hockey sticks! Eddy and Kevin are also wearing pillow-padding like Ed, but they have actual helmets instead of Ed's turtle helmet. Kevin dodges several pucks from Eddy, the pucks going on to hit cars and signs.

"DODGE THIS, EDDY!" Kevin whacks a puck towards Eddy, who slides to dodge it.

"HA, MISSED ME!" Eddy laughs, only to get hit by a puck from Ed, sending him through a mailbox in the second cul-de-sac and scattering letters all around it. Eddy then returns puck-fire to Ed, but Ed isn't even phased by the puck, and he chuckles.

"Tough guy, eh?" Eddy hits a whole bunch of pucks towards Ed at cartoon-speed, but Ed spins like a tornado to catch the pucks and send them flying and ricocheting all around the second cul-de-sac. Eddy and Kevin dodge the pucks, which fly into and damage the houses. One flies through Jenna's open bedroom window and cracks her mirror, alerting her and Nazz, and we see that Jenna has a Kevin plushy next to her pillows! Jenna sees her busted mirror.

_"[Son of a bitch.]"_ she snarls in Spanish and throws the puck outside, yelling "HEY, YOU THREE! DO I HAVE TO GO OUT THERE AND SHOVE THOSE STICKS OF YOURS UP YER ASSES?!"

Meanwhile, Sarah and Jimmy are playing tennis against Zoe and Kyle in the lane. Right after Zoe delivers the ball, it gets hit in mid-air by a rogue puck.

"Was that a-" Jimmy then leaps back when another puck flies through the fence and zips past him and Sarah. Sarah looks through the hole in the fence and through Zoe's yard, and sees Ed, Eddy and Kevin going nuts with the pucks. She angers, but she quickly takes out her relaxation ball and squeezes it to calm herself.

"Whew!" Jimmy and Kyle sigh with relief.

"Good thing ya got her that wicked chilaxin ball, eh Kyle?!" Zoe asks. Now, Ed, Eddy and Kevin are skating out of the second cul-de-sac. Double-D reappears, wearing protective padding all over his body, a hard hat, and safety goggles.

"FELLOWS, PLEASE CEASE WITH THIS ABSURD GAME! YOU'RE DAMAGING PROPERTY!!" Double-D shouts while chasing after Ed, Eddy and Kevin, but the three ignore him.

"Yo Kev, wanna double-team Monobrow?" Eddy asks, and Kevin answers "You read my mind!"

Ed's eyes bug out as Eddy and Kevin hit barrages of pucks at him. He scrambles to avoid some, but he still gets pelted and knocked for a loop. He gets up.

"RETREAT!" Ed retreats from the combined efforts of Eddy and Kevin, but they pursue Ed into the lane. Double-D follows, yelling "LISTEN TO ME, GUYS! I'M NOT TALKING TO MYSELF HERE!"

"EXCUSE ME, PARDON ME!" Ed frantically skates past Sarah, Jimmy, Kyle and Zoe, interrupting their game again. He dodges another puck in the process, and the puck snaps Jimmy's racket and rips a hole through Sarah's, angering her.

_"Errrrrrrr-"_ Sarah turns red, but then she uses her relaxation ball again.

_"There ya go, Sarah!_ I'll go get more rackets!" Kyle says, only to get trampled by Eddy, who collected a bunch of pucks.

"FIRE!!" Eddy whacks the pucks in an attempt to nail Ed, but Jimmy and Sarah get hit instead, and they're both knocked to the ground. Eddy and Kevin skate ahead, shooting pucks at Ed. But then they see that Ed used the empty dumpster to collect all the pucks! Ed jumps atop the dumpster.

_"Now it's MY TURN!"_ Ed turns the tables and starts whacking pucks back at Eddy & Kevin. Eddy screams and jumps over the fence to escape, but Kevin isn't quick enough and he's sent flying back by Ed's puck barrage. Kevin flies just over the tennis net the kids are using, and his hockey stick snags it. Zoe and Kyle grab the net's legs so they don't lose it, but it gets ripped in half by Kevin's hockey stick as he crashes into the ground. By now, Sarah has gotten up and recovered from getting hit by Eddy's puck-shots. After gasping at the destroyed net, she reddens and glares at Kevin.

_"Sarah?..."_ Jimmy utters as Sarah rapidly squeezes her relaxtion ball to calm herself, but instead she squeezes it faster and faster. _Her teeth sharpen, and as her eyes turn yellow, she squeezes her ball so hard that it pops!!_

_"RAAAAAAAHHH!!"_ Sarah charges at Kevin on all-fours while Jimmy, Zoe and Kyle jump out of the way. While getting up, Kevin turns and sees Sarah rampaging towards him.

"GET BACK!!" Kevin swings his hockey stick, but Sarah chomps through it and tackles Kevin to the ground. Double-D watches in terror as Sarah thrashes Kevin around the lane like a rag doll, rips through his pillow-padding, pulls his helmet apart, and rams him through the fence on one side. Trying to escape, the heavily-bruised and hair-torn Kevin grabs onto an overhanging tree branch, but Sarah still has his leg in her angry jaws. As she pulls him down, Kevin kicks her into letting go. But this causes the tree to spring back up, catapulting Kevin across towards Jenna's house.

_"Huh?..."_ Jenna and Nazz hear Kevin screaming as he flies towards Jenna's house. _He flies through Jenna's bedroom wall and SLAMS into Jenna, sending them both flying out through the back of the house, through several trees, and they skid through another yard, house and street before finally hitting their heads hard on a fire hydrant!!_ Nazz and Double-D call Kevin's and Jenna's names as they hurry over.

_"Oh dear!..."_ Double-D utters upon seeing the hydrant's water sprinkling onto the unconscious Kevin and Jenna!

_"KEVIN!! JENNA!!"_ Nazz yells out as she rushes over to Kevin and Jenna.

* * *

Later, we see Sarah with her hands over her face, nodding in disbelief at what she did. She is sitting on Kyle's doorstep, and in her company are Jimmy, Zoe, Nazz and Double-D.

_"I couldn't have..."_ Sarah tells Double-D and Nazz: _"I know Mom said I got anger issues, but I know for a fact I could never do what you've shown me."_

What Sarah is referring to is two pictures in Double-D's hands. They are revealed to be X-ray shots of Kevin's and Jenna's skeletons. _Both their skulls are split at the top, Kevin has a broken jaw, spine and leg, and Jenna has a broken neck and ribcage!_ Zoe looks at the X-ray pics.

_"Ouch."_ Zoe comments, and Jimmy turns to Double-D: "This is all because of those stupid games you guys play."

"Hey, I don't participate in any of my fellow boys' shenanigans!" Double-D replies defensively.

"True, but Jimmy has a point." Nazz says. "For instance, you wanna know how Paul got bandaged all over? _Because he, Kevin and Eddy crashed my slumber party last night."_

"That's when Sarah brought the pain to Paul." Zoe continues.

"And then to Kevin, and by extension, Jenna." Jimmy finishes. _"That's why Ed and Eddy gotta stop, or they're next on the list."_

"But telling them to stop won't solve everything." Double-D replies. _"Sarah needs to find an effective means of curbing her anger until her parents find a permanent solution that will enable her to continue life in normal society."_

"This should hopefully work!" Kyle comes out with a large, black-brown-red-&-white conch shell for Sarah: "Mom gave me this rare tortoiseshell conch as a kid. Put it in your ear, _and the exceptionally attuned sound of the deep blue will soothe even the worst tantrums!"_

"And it's pretty, too!" Zoe exclaims.

"GET DOWN!" Nazz and Double-D drop to the ground, then Zoe, Sarah, Kyle and Jimmy. They all ducked to avoid several pucks coming their way, and the pucks hit Kyle's front door & wall and shatter his living room window.

"MISSED ME AGAIN, LUMPY!" Eddy skates away from Ed as the latter tries hitting him with more pucks.

"YOU IDIOTS ARE GONNA GET IT!!" Sarah gets up while turning red and her teeth turn sharp, but before she can chase down Ed and Eddy, Kyle bops the tortoiseshell conch into Sarah's ear. The magical ocean sound soothes Sarah and she grins widely.

"And there we have a first-hand demonstration, folks!" Double-D tells the audience. _"Thank you very much, Kyle! That should certainly keep Sarah's rage in check for a while!"_

"Gimme that!" Sarah snatches the conch from Kyle so she can listen to it again: _"........ Ahhhh!..."_

**To be Continued...**

* * *

Trivia: "Captain Markspuck" is a combination of "marksman" and "puck." And the questions the girls asked each other during the spinning bottle game at the start of this episode are actually ones that my sister and her friends asked each other when my sis threw a slumber party not too long ago, except the jawbreaker question which I made up. The tortoiseshell conch isn't a real conch, either; I made that one up too.

I also have a storyboard/comic for "Ed Stroke" up on deviantArt, so go check it out if you want!


	36. Stark Raving Ed pt 2

Sorry for this chapter's lateness, but that's because Thursday was my birthday and my party took up most of yesterday. I'm 20 years old now, YES!!!

Oh and I forgot to mention these last chapter: Big A1 gave me the "Paul dressing as a baby" idea, while Neo H.B.B Sam gave me the hockey idea. Credit goes to them.

* * *

Night falls again, and Ed & Eddy can be heard hanging out in Ed's room. While they hang out, Sarah is taking a shower, though the screen only goes down to her shoulders. As she scrubs her neck, the bathroom door is heard being swung open.

"Huh?..." Sarah hears the door being opened, but since it's muffled by the shower, she shrugs it off and continues showering. But moments later, while washing her hair, Sarah hears the toilet being flushed!

"HEY, WHO FLUSHED- OW, OWWW!! OH GOD, IT'S HOT!! HOT HOT HOT!!!" Sarah screams as the shower is heated drastically from the toilet flush! The extremely hot shower forces Sarah to leap out and onto the floor, landing belly-down with her butt cut off by the screen. Her skin has been seared bright pink by the burning shower! Even though the person who flushed the toilet already left, Sarah is so angered that her teeth sharpen, but before her eyes start turning yellow, she reaches off-screen for the tortoiseshell conch Kyle gave her earlier. She puts it into her ear to calm herself as she reaches for a towel.

Down in Ed's room, Eddy returns and tells Ed "Ok, now that I crapped mom's meatloaf outta my system, let's get to business!"

* * *

Later, Sarah is buttoning up her pajama shirt in her room. Sarah's room now has pictures of Jimmy, Kyle, and a few other unnamed boys from school. The conch is next to her pillow on her canopy bed, and she hops into bed and turns off her sea anemone-shaped lamp to sleep.

But before long, Sarah hears Ed and Eddy from Ed's room. They are playing a fighting game on Ed's gaming system, and it's turned up very loud!

"HAHAHAHA!" Ed laughs. "I GOT YA, EDDY!"

"I DON'T THINK SO!" Eddy replies, then uses one of his character's attacks: "FINGER BEAM BLITZ!"

Numerous explosions are heard as Eddy's character uses said attack.

"YOU MISSED!" Ed shouts and uses one of his character's attacks: "DIVINE LIGHTNING!"

Ed's character's attack makes a loud KABOOOOM that agitates Sarah. Her eyes twitch as Ed and Eddy continue their battle.

"WHAT THE HELL?! HOW'D YA DO THAT?!" Eddy asks, then "NOOO!"

"I WIN!" Ed shouts victoriously, followed by Eddy's "BULLSHIT! I WANT A REMATCH!"

_"Errrrrrrr..."_ Sarah turns red, but she remembers the conch, and she puts it into her ear to calm herself.

But one of her eyes still bugs out when her mom Angela yells "EDWIN, TURN OFF THE DAMN GAME RIGHT NOW BEFORE I GO DOWN THERE AND BREAK IT!!"

* * *

The next morning, Sarah is washing dishes. Once she finishes, she opens the freezer for lunch, only to have Ed's latest freezer experiment- a giant meatball with sausages, fish parts, and octopus tentacles sticking out of it- slide out and squish her under its weight. The meatball's weight also shakes the dish rack, knocking off all the dishes and they break upon hitting the floor. Ed rushes in after hearing this.

"AAH!" Ed shrieks upon seeing the shattered dishes, then he sees the reddening Sarah squeeze out from under his freezer experiment. Realizing that's what caused the dishes to fall, Ed sheepishly grins: "Ehehe! Sorry Sarah, I forgot to tell ya about my new freezer experiment!"

"RRRAAAHHH!!!" Sarah, now sharp-toothed and yellow-eyed, picks up Ed's meatball and jumps up to slam it onto him! But as she prepares for the slam in mid-air, Ed quickly pulls the conch out of Sarah's pocket and puts it into her ear to soothe her. Sarah calms down, drops Ed's meatball which splatters on the floor, then she drops back to the floor on her feet while holding the conch.

"Yep, Double-D told me about the conch!" Ed says.

"What happened here?" father Stan asks as he and Angela come in, and they gasp upon seeing the broken dishes and Ed's splattered meatball. Stan asks _"Who's responsible for this."_

Sarah points at Ed, and Angela tells him _"You're not goin anywhere until this place is SQUEAKY clean."_

* * *

Sarah joins Jimmy, Kyle and Zoe outside.

"Sarah, are you ok?" Jimmy asks. "You look stressed."

"No, I'm fine!" Sarah replies with a slight facial tic, which Kyle notices and he asks _"Is the conch workin?"_

"Like a charm!" Sarah answers.

"Wicked!" Zoe exclaims. "Now follow me, guys! This big yellow ball with an X-mark just popped up in the middle of our cul-de-sac, _and we're gonna go nuts with it!"_

As they go to the second cul-de-sac, the four kids pass a tall cardboard platform near Jonny's and Nazz's houses. Eddy is standing on top with a big green yoga ball. He takes out his cellphone and calls Double-D:

_"Is the cam rollin, Double-D?"_ Eddy asks.

_"Eddy, I'm having doubts that this little 'stunt' of yours will succeed."_ Double-D says, standing on the roof of the playground's treehouse with a camcorder.

_"Didn't you measure last year that the distance between the centers of the cul-de-sacs is precisely 167 feet?"_ Eddy asks. _"I'm pretty damn sure I can cover that distance by bouncin off my brother's yoga ball here. Is the other one in place?"_

Double-D checks the other yoga ball -the one Zoe mentioned a few moments ago- sitting in the middle of the second cul-de-sac, its red X-mark acting as a landing target. Double-D tells Eddy _"Your brother's second ball awaits your safe landing on it, IF you land on it, that is."_

_"Ok, I'm gettin ready to jump."_ Eddy tells Double-D before ending the call. Double-D sighs, but then grins.

_"Then again, the others and I will certainly enjoy seeing Eddy get what's coming to him should he miss!"_ Double-D resolves while Eddy puts on safety gloves and a crash helmet.

"Time to put Dave England to shame!" Eddy exclaims as he grabs the green yoga ball. Meanwhile, Zoe shows Sarah, Jimmy and Kyle the yellow yoga ball in the middle of the second cul-de-sac.

"There it is!" Zoe points at the ball, and charges at it: "YAAAH!"

Zoe rams into the ball, sending it bouncing off the front of Kyle's house and back towards her. She jumps out of the way, and the ball hits Jimmy, knocking him back some ten feet. Jimmy screams "OWIE!"

"Don't whine, Jimmy! That didn't hurt!" Sarah tells Jimmy, then Zoe tells Kyle "Kyle, let's see how long you can run on it without fallin off!"

From the treehouse's roof, Double-D spots the kids playing with the yellow yoga ball, alarming him! He quickly takes out his cellphone to call Eddy: "EDDY, DON'T JUMP YET!"

But Double-D's call is too late, as Eddy already jumped off the platform with the green yoga ball. He hits the ground with it, and he bounces off of it high into the air!

"YEEEHHHAAAWWW!!!" Eddy does an aerial pose at the peak of his bounce, then he falls towards the second cul-de-sac, seeing the kids playing with the yellow yoga ball in the process: "OH SHIT!!"

"Huh?" Sarah looks up, sees Eddy plummeting towards her, and he CRASHES into her, sending them both into the cul-de-sac concrete with only their legs sticking out!! Double-D freaks out, and he quickly starts descending towards the ground. Sarah pulls herself up from the concrete, red-faced and sharp-toothed!

"SARAH, THE CONCH!!" Kyle reminds Sarah, who pulls the conch out of her pocket. _But the conch is cracked from Eddy's impact and it breaks apart, angering Sarah even more and her eyes turn yellow and veiny! She turns towards Eddy and pulls out of the concrete with one hand, and glares at him as her ears steam!_

_"YOU'RE DEAD!!!"_ Sarah screams, and Jimmy covers his eyes as Sarah starts brutalizing Eddy. Kyle flinches from the horrid beating and a piece of Eddy's helmet lands near him, Zoe doesn't know what to do, and Eddy screaming "HELP MEEE!!" forces Jimmy to cover his ears and close his eyes! _Eddy is now horribly bruised, has a fat lip with missing teeth, an enormously swollen blackeye, a broken leg with a lost shoe, and the only clothing he still has are his tanktop- which is torn like a toga- and his boxers!_ Sarah throws Eddy towards the arriving Double-D.

_"EDDY!"_ Double-D screams as Eddy lands on him and knocks him back. Sarah blows steam from her nose like a bull and charges at them!

_"SARAH, STOP!!"_ Kyle yells desperately as he, Jimmy and Zoe race after Sarah. Eddy hides behind Double-D, and Sarah tackles Double-D in her blind rage. She throws his hat off, _revealing his scar again,_ then Zoe and Kyle grab Sarah. While Double-D retrieves his hat, Sarah throws off Kyle and Zoe, then sees Eddy limping away on his good leg. She charges at him!

_"HAVE MERCY!!"_ Eddy begs, covering his face with arms. Just as Sarah is about to land another punch on him, she suddenly freezes...

_"... YEEEEAAAAGGGHHH!!!"_ Sarah screams and holds her head in pain. _"AAAGH!!"_

While holding her head, Sarah staggers back-&-forth as she goes in-&-out of her angry state, indicated by her skin's reddening and fading.

_"What's going on?"_ Double-D asks as he puts his hat back on.

"Jimmy, no!" Zoe holds her arm out to stop Jimmy from approaching Sarah, who SCREAMS in pain and blindly swings her fists around, unintentionally knocking out Eddy in the process! Then Sarah drops to her knees, sweating.

_"SARAH!"_ Jimmy rushes through Zoe and up to the trembling Sarah.

_"GET AWAY FROM ME!!"_ Sarah smacks Jimmy's arm away, then she gets up and runs off.

"SARAH, WAIT!" Double-D calls out while carrying Eddy and chasing Sarah to her house with Zoe, Kyle and Jimmy. But Sarah locks her front door to keep them out.

"SARAH, PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR!!" Jimmy begs, and Kyle adds "WE'RE YOUR FRIENDS! _WE'RE HERE TO HELP YOU!!"_

Sarah ignores her friends pleas, still holding her head as she goes upstairs. She mutters to herself _"I'm too dangerous. I can't be with anyone anymore."_

* * *

Sarah opens her bedroom door, then her head hurts again: _"AGH!!"_ she drops and hold her head in pain. Once she recovers, she sees that her entire room has been devastated!! Her books, posters and diary are on the floor, her bed is flipped over, her mirror and window are busted, and everything else is either cracked or broken!

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Sarah asks in shock at the destruction of her room, and she starts to anger again. As she turns red, she tries a breathing excercise. It fails and ends with Sarah screaming again. She blindly punches her dresser, sending it flying out through her wall. Sarah sweats more, and she leaves her room.

Holding her head due to her severe headache, Sarah goes down the hallway and into the bathroom. She washes her face, dries it off, then she opens the mirror cabinet to take two Ibuprofen pills. She eats the pills, closes the mirror...

_... and sees her enraged reflection in the mirror!!_

_"AAAHH!!"_ Sarah jumps back and falls, then she gets back up and looks into the mirror again. Her reflection is normal again, so she sighs in relief and turns to leave.

But then Sarah GASPS in shock, _because an angry clone of herself is blocking the door!! The clone has all of her raging features: red skin, sharp teeth, steaming ears, and veiny yellow eyes._

_"RRRAAAAAHHHH!!!"_ the angry Sarah tackles the good Sarah to the floor. Sarah retaliates by kicking her enraged self over and into the mirror cabinet, destroying it. The angry Sarah jumps off the sink and onto the good Sarah's back to pull on her hair. The good Sarah screams as they struggle towards the bathtub, where they get entangled in the shower curtain. The angry Sarah frees herself first, and she wraps up the good Sarah in the shower curtain. She takes the good Sarah to the toilet, but the good Sarah frees herself, and she bashes the toilet's lid on the angry Sarah's head repeatedly. The angry Sarah reverses the situation and shoves the good Sarah's face into the toilet in an attempt to drown her, but the good Sarah flushes the toilet and punches the angry Sarah into the wall. The good Sarah then coughs up toilet water, allowing the angry Sarah to rip one of the towel bars off the wall and she whacks the good Sarah with it. On the fourth whack, the good Sarah is knocked through the bathroom door and into the opposite wall, but the good Sarah swiftly moves her head to the side to dodge another whack that cracks the wall. The good Sarah then knocks the towel bar out of the angry Sarah's hands, but the angry Sarah grabs her arm in the process and bites it.

"YEOW!!" the good Sarah screams, and she is heard by Ed downstairs. Ed is throwing away the final pieces of broken dishes when he hears the two Sarahs fighting in the hallway upstairs, then they come barreling downstairs on one another. Their fight sends the living room's TV flying into the kitchen, and it smashes apart upon hitting the floor.

"SARAH!!" Ed runs into the living room and grabs the good Sarah from behind, while the angry Sarah seems to have disappeared.

"ED, LET ME GO!!" Sarah yells and struggles against Ed, who holds Sarah by her ankle. From her upside-down position, _Sarah sees the angry Sarah reappear behind Ed! "THERE SHE IS!! ED!!"_

The angry Sarah grabs and pulls Ed's ankles to trip him forwards, flattening the good Sarah under him. Outside, Double-D, Jimmy, Kyle and Zoe hear Ed's struggling, then the angry Sarah rams Ed out through the living room wall before continuing her assault against the good Sarah.

"ED!" Kyle shouts in alarm as he, Zoe, Jimmy and Double-D rush over to Ed.

"Ed, are you alright?" Double-D asks, but he and Ed quickly dodge the armchair, which was thrown by one of the Sarahs, and it busts a hole through the wall of Jimmy's house. The Sarahs' fight goes out through the front door and into the cul-de-sac, a sight witnessed by Nazz.

"WHOA!!" Nazz jumps up on a pole to avoid the Sarahs, but the angry Sarah pulls out the pole to use as a weapon. She throws it at the good Sarah, _and the good Sarah and Nazz briefly lock eyes as the good Sarah does a slow-motion split to avoid the pole. _Nazz quickly jumps off the pole before it flies into Kevin's and Eddy's houses, demolishing them and we hear Eddy's and Kevin's pain-filled cries under the rubble! Then Nazz is knocked down when the good Sarah is thrown into her.

"SARAH!!" Nazz restrains the good Sarah by pinning her to ground, holding her arms. But the good Sarah screams "LET GO!!"

_"SARAH, PLEASE GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!!"_ Double-D yells as he, Ed, Jimmy, Kyle and Zoe rush over.

_"GUYS, WATCH OUT!!"_ the good Sarah yells to her brother and friends as _another angry Sarah appears!_ The second angry Sarah grabs Ed and slams him onto Double-D, sending them through the concrete and into the sewer below! Then a THIRD angry Sarah appears!!

_"HOLY-"_ Kyle is interrupted when the third angry Sarah bashes his and Jimmy's heads together. Nazz gasps at this before the first angry Sarah bites onto her arm, thrashes her around, and throws her at Zoe. Nazz and Zoe are sent flying through Eddy's cardboard platform and into Nazz's garage door, leaving the good Sarah alone against the three angry clones!!

_"AAGH!!"_ the good Sarah goes on the defensive as the angry Sarahs attack simultaneously, but she manages to hold them off for several seconds before a car is thrown at her, but she dodges. The car destroys the house next to Rolf's, then the good Sarah dodges a punch from one of the angry Sarahs. That angry Sarah's fist gets stuck through a mailbox, and the good Sarah twists the angry Sarah's stuck arm with a loud bone-cracking sound. Then she kicks the angry Sarah down and uses the mailbox to combat the other two angry Sarahs. The good Sarah whacks one of the angry Sarahs into a tree near Double-D's house, and she charges to finish that angry Sarah. But the angry Sarah recovers and pushes down the tree to crush the good Sarah, but she dodges. However, _a fourth angry Sarah leaps out from a hole in the tree, catching the good Sarah by surprise!_

"SHIT!" the good Sarah is punched onto the street intersection, but she quickly gets up to defend herself from the two angry Sarahs attacking her. The other two angry Sarahs join, making a 4 vs 1 battle against the good Sarah. Ed and Double-D emerge from the sewer, both bruised. Jimmy, Kyle, Zoe and Nazz recovers well, and they see the good Sarah disappear around the corner to attack the angry Sarahs. The good Sarah repeatedly swings her mailbox weapon at the angry Sarahs, but one of them kicks the mailbox's head off. The Sarahs battle down the street, causing oncoming cars to spin out and crash into houses and other cars, and a mail truck crashes into Paul's house and we hear his pain-filled SCREAM from inside! Upon reaching Main Street, the Sarahs all get hit by a car, with the good Sarah and one of the angry Sarahs going through the windshield.

"WHOA!!" the driver loses control of his car as the five Sarahs fight on the hood. Behind the out-of-control car, Ed and Double-D are following via the retro van. They see the car into a fire hydrant, sending the Sarahs flying towards a bus going in the opposite direction. They crash into the bus through the windshield, and the driver does the Wilhelm scream as he's thrown out through his window. All the passengers scream, and some jump out of the bus as the Sarahs battle inside it. Meanwhile, Nazz, Jimmy, Kyle and Zoe are riding in Nazz's silver SUV, looking for Sarah.

"THERE!" Jimmy spots the good Sarah inside the passing bus, and Nazz steers her SUV to follow the bus. In the bus, an angry Sarah slams the good Sarah's face against the steering wheel's horn, and as the good Sarah tries fighting back, she accidentally turns the steering wheel to the right. This makes the bus turn right into a parking lot, and it mows through numerous parked cars and towards Dickie's Supermarket (first seen in "You Are What You Ed"). Inside the supermarket, people are going about their business when the bus CRASHES in through the front wall, destroys some checkout terminals, runs over people, and knocks down half of the aisle shelves via the domino effect!! Outside, Nazz stops her SUV and calls Double-D via her cellphone:

"Double-D, Sarah's inside Dickie's." Nazz informs.

Inside Dickie's, numerous food and other items have been either destroyed or scattered around, people are crawling out from under knocked-down aisle shelves, and the bus has fallen on its side. The good Sarah, her hair now messy and loose, emerges from under a pile of knocked-over watermelons near the bus, which she looks at. Much to her horror, _there are now over a dozen angry Sarahs, who are also messy-haired, coming out of the bus and nearby food-piles._

_"Wh-What the hell is going on? WHY IS THERE SO MANY OF ME?!!" _the good Sarah asks in shock and confusion, then the angry Sarahs charge at her. She blocks an angry Sarah's kick, swings one into three others, then dodges yet another's punches. One angry Sarah throws watermelons at the good Sarah, who dodges some and throws some back at the angry Sarahs. But as more and more angry Sarahs appear, the good Sarah is eventually forced to retreat into an aisle. She reappears with a shopping cart and uses it to run over numerous angry Sarahs, but one of them gets under the cart. She jumps up and pushes the cart to send it and the good Sarah into a lobster tank, spilling out the water and lobsters inside, and all the Sarahs get drenched. The good Sarah uses the lobsters to pinch any angry Sarahs that come at her, but the angry Sarahs retaliate by throwing fruits, veggies, and various food packages. The good Sarah is blinded by this barrage, allowing an angry Sarah to bitch-slap her up over the aisles and into a security mirror near the checkout terminals, knocking it down. The good Sarah lands next to it as the angry Sarahs race down an aisle towards her. As the good Sarah gets up, she looks into the security mirror...

_... And gasps upon seeing that the angry Sarahs behind her have no reflections!!!_

_"... No!... This whole time, they were..." the bug-eyed Sarah realizes that all the angry Sarahs are imaginary and were inside her head all along!! Thus, **when Sarah flashes back to all the damage and harm her mental battle did, it was ALL actually done by her single berserking self!!!** Sarah clenches her fists..._

_"They aren't real... They're just the anger bottled up inside me."_ Sarah figures out as she gets up and runs outside. Her imaginary anger clones chase her outside...

_... and they're met with an army of good Sarahs!!!_

_"THIS-ENDS-NOOOWWWWW!!!" the good Sarahs shout their battle cry as they and the angry Sarahs charge across the parking lot towards each other. They finally collide, and they start punching, kicking, throwing, and strangling each other!! An angry Sarah snaps a good Sarah's neck, while two good Sarahs team up to tear an angry Sarah in half like paper! The good and angry Sarahs continue battling each other until, in the end, all of them are on the ground bruised, battered, and some even appear to be bleeding and have chunks of themselves torn off!!_

_Then the real Sarah rises up from them, heavily bruised with a black eye and torn clothes _(including a missing shoe and sock leaving her foot bare)_, and all the imaginary Sarahs start fading away._ After they finally vanish, Ed, Double-D, Nazz, Zoe, Kyle and Jimmy rush towards Sarah.

_"Sarah, are you alright?"_ Double-D asks as Ed and Kyle help Sarah up, and Zoe tells Sarah _"You were beatin yourself up pretty bad!"_

_"Sarah, are you still... y'know, mad?"_ Jimmy asks. Sarah looks at him, and smiles!

"Actually, Jimmy...._ I think...... it's all over!"_ Sarah answers.

"YAY, BABY SISTER IS MAD NO MORE!!" Ed picks up Sarah and joyfully bear-hugs her, making her scream "OW!! PUT ME DOWN, YOU-"

Sarah seems to anger again, but it quickly fades and she hugs Ed back!

"You... _You didn't lose it this time! Did ya really?..."_ Kyle asks, amazed.

YAY, WAY TO GO, SARAH!!" Zoe gives a congratulatory smack to Sarah's back, making Sarah go "YEOW!" and seems to anger again. But, once more, it fades!

Jimmy sheds a tear: _"You really did it, Sarah!"_ Jimmy hugs Sarah, joined by Kyle and Zoe! But then Sarah yelps and holds her stomach in pain.

_"Be gentle, guys. Sarah's hurt."_ Nazz helps Sarah up to where her SUV and Double-D's retro van are at. "Rest inside the van for now."

Nazz helps Sarah into the back of the retro van, where Sarah lays on the water bed. Double-D and Ed sit up front and they happily look at Sarah, who sweetly smiles back at them (though the cuteness is lessened by her messed-up looks)!

* * *

**Sarah's Diary:**

_"... And that wraps up my story! I'm a new Sarah Lynn Christensen, I can finally move on now, and everyone is happy! Ok not everybody, since I further injured Eddy, Kevin and Paul while I was fighting myself. But other than that, everything's ok now. Mom and Dad bought me some anger management pills, but that turned out to be a waste once Ed told them the news. Or maybe not; perhaps Mom could use em for her own anger issues, hahaha! Well, my hand is starting to hurt from writing this long entry, so I'll finish it here, then I'm going to bed. See ya later, diary!"_

**The End!!!**

* * *

Trivia: Sarah's sea anemone-shaped lamp is a reference to my giving her the sea anemone as her sea animal theme. This is because Jimmy would always rely on Sarah whenever he's scared, just like how clownfish (Jimmy's theme) rely on sea anemones for protection. Eddy's stunt and his mentioning of Dave England are both references to the second Jackass movie, where Dave England jumped with a big green yoga ball in one skit. And lastly, Sarah fighting an imaginary clone of herself is a reference to the movie "Fight Club."

The next episode is Rolf's episode, so stay tuned, Rolfy worshippers!!


	37. BetrothEd pt 1

YEOWCH, my hand cramped some four times because I was rushing to write and release this chapter after finishing my college homework. But the first half of Episode 19 is here, and it's bringing some Old-Country humor and drama! Enjoy!!

* * *

_**Episode #19: Betroth-Ed**_

* * *

In front of Eddy's house, we see the Eds wearing chef hats as they prepare to cook a giant omelet in a giant pan, which is on a giant portable stove that, with the pan, takes up Eddy's driveway and half of his lawn. Next to the pan are two armchair-sized bowls. Ed is bringing a stack of eggs to Double-D and Eddy, who has a giant spatula while Double-D is mixing herbs, spices and shredded cheese into one of the two bowls.

"I got the eggs, guys!" Ed tells his fellow Eds.

"Ok Ed, get crackin!" Eddy tells Ed as he heats up the pan. "I can see it now! First we'll take some of this godly super omelet for ourselves, then we'll sell the rest to the neighborhood at five bucks apiece!_ We're gonna be swimmin in cash!"_

"And buttery fat!" Ed adds while beating the eggs in the second bowl with a mixer. Once he's done, Double-D adds some salt, pepper and spices.

"Is the butter ready, Eddy?" Double-D asks Eddy, who suddenly vanished while off-screen. "... Eddy?......... Ed, have you seen- ED?!" Ed has also disappeared!

Then Rolf zips up: _"Make haste we must, physically lesser Ed boy!"_ Rolf says as he grabs Double-D and takes him to his farm, where we see a huge, wooden, bucket-like structure similar to the one used for jelly in "Mirror Mirror On the Ed." It has a ladder going up to a platform at the top, and Rolf takes Double-D up to it. A pile of clothes is seen at the top, confusing Double-D.

"Rolf, what's going on?" Double-D asks Rolf, who takes off Double-D's shirt! "ROLF, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! AAH!!" Double-D screams as all his clothes are forcibly removed and tossed into the pile by Rolf, then Rolf throws him down into the bucket. Double-D splashes into the bubbly pink water inside. He surfaces from being thrown in, is covered in pink bubbly foam, and realizes that the bucket is actually...

_"... And old-fashioned bathtub!"_ Double-D says, then he sees Eddy and Ed in the tub as well: "Eddy! Ed!"

"He got you, too?" Eddy asks Double-D.

"Rolf's gotten all of us." Nazz says as she swims on-screen through the bubbly water, then we also see Paul, Kevin, Jenna, Zoe, Jimmy, Kyle and Sarah in the tub!

"The dude fuckin stripped us against our will and threw us in here." Kevin gruffly explains.

"I thought he was gonna rape me at first." Sarah says with a quiver.

"I ain't complainin; warm bubble-baths are the most WICKED! It's almost like a jacuzzi!" Zoe exclaims, sticking her foot out towards Kyle: _"Suck my toes, Kyle!"_

"No worries here, either!" Paul agrees with Zoe. "Bein in a tub with naked women is actually a dr-"

Jenna punches Paul's head underwater before he could finish. Then everyone in the tub hears Jonny:

"WHOA, ROLF! OH SHIT! ROLF, STOP!! AAAHH-" Jonny is stripped down and thrown into the tub by Rolf. "PLANK, YOU OK UP THERE?!"

"The wood needs no bathing, Jonny dawg!" Rolf tells Jonny, then Eddy asks "HEY STRETCH, WHAT'S UP WITH ALL THIS?!"

"Ask no questions yet, tabletop Ed boy." Rolf replies to Eddy as he pours in a whole bunch of ice cubes from a metal bucket as big as he is, and everyone in the tub SCREAMS as they're pelted by the freezing ice cubes! Rolf then takes out a huge wooden spoon and uses it to stir and swoosh the bathwater, swirling everyone around in it. After Rolf finishes stirring, everyone is dazed and covered in bubbly foam.

"I'm seeing stars, guys!" Ed says, dizzily gazing at stars like when he hit his head on a branch in "The Luck of the Ed."

"CARE TO TELL US NOW, ROLF?!" Kevin asks.

"Rolf will explain everything once he finishes cleaning you guys." Rolf replies as he opens a large jug labeled "YEMUK."

"What's that?" Jimmy asks.

"You may know it as 'shampoo!'" Rolf answers, then he pours the clear bluish "shampoo" onto everyone in the tub. "Now work it into your scalps so Rolf can finish the job."

The bathers promptly scrub the "shampoo" into their hair, then Rolf stirs and swooshes them around again. Once finished, Rolf opens a circular hatch on the tub's side just above the water level, and everyone in the tub crawls out through it. All their butts, private spots, and the girls' chests are covered in bubbly foam before Rolf passes towels to them. As Jonny dries himself, his afro poofs up.

"Rolf apologizes for the intrusion of your daily shenanigans, homies. But there's reason to Rolf's madness." Rolf says.

"And what would that be?" Sarah asks.

_"Rolf needed you all squeaky and spotless for the arrival of Rolf's betrothed."_ Rolf answers, surprising Double-D, Nazz and Jenna.

"Betrothed?" Ed asks, and Eddy asks "What does that mean?"

_"It means Rolf is getting married!"_ Nazz answers, surprising everybody and they look at Rolf!

"Dude, you're eighteen and already gettin married!?" Kyle asks in shock, and Rolf bobs his head.

"Yes." Rolf answers and explains: "In the Old Country, a boy becomes a man once he hits the age of eighteen, after which point he must come together with a fair woman in holy matrimony._ And since Rolf hit eighteen back in January, the time has come for his matrimony."_

"So, does that mean your fiance is comin here?" Jenna asks.

"That's right, Neotropical Jenn girl." Rolf confirms. "She'll be arriving right about..." Rolf checks his sundial wristwatch ("Who's Minding the Ed") just before he and the others hear a sounding horn. Rolf shouts "SHE HAS COME! QUICK EVERYONE, MOVE FAST AND GET DRESSED!"

* * *

We see a horse-drawn wagon coming into the center of the cul-de-sac and it stops in front of Rolf's house, where we see Rolf's mom Hanna looking out the front window.

"They have arrived!" Hanna informs her husband Noah, Nana & Nano, and Rolf's other relatives, who came for the upcoming marriage.

"What is taking Rolf so long?" Noah looks around impatiently.

"Rolf is here, Papa!" Rolf zips in. "Where's Fido?"

Fido barks as he comes on-screen, carrying something made of sheeps' wool on his back. With Fido present, Rolf steps outside, followed by Fido, his parents & grandparents, and the rest of his family. Fido stands to Rolf's left on the lawn, while his parents are to the right. Rolf's grandparents, his family, the Eds, teens, and kids all stand behind him as a man and a teenage girl hop out of the carriage. Both are dark-skinned and green-teethed like Rolf and his family. The man has heavily-built arms, gray-black hair done into a ponytail, a long tapering beard, and wears the same attire as Noah. The girl has long black hair reaching her knees, an orange mouth with a light blue tongue, a red kerchief holding her hair back, red sea urchin earrings, a black bodice over a white blouse, a full blue skirt with a white apron, long black socks, and wooden clog shoes.

"That's her?" Eddy asks upon seeing the girl, and everyone smiles.

"Who is she, Rolf?" Ed asks.

_"Nell, her name is!"_ Rolf answers,** flashing back to when he and Nell were youngsters in the Old Country, playfully running and chasing each other through a field of sheep with mountains in the background.**_ "She and I were closest of friends back when we lived in the Old Country."_

"I could see why, Country Boy! Damn,_ she's bangin!!"_ Paul exclaims. Nell approaches Rolf with a smile, and Rolf bows on his knees.

_"My dearest Nell!"_ Rolf takes Nell's hand and kisses it. "Welcome to the residence of Rolf!"

"It's wonderful to be here, Rolf!" Nell exclaims, also having a thick Old-Country accent.

"Rolf will now give the traditional wedding dress he has made for you! Made from our finest ewes' wool!" Rolf takes the wool item off Fido's back, revealing it as the elegant wedding dress he made for Nell. "Thanks to Rolf's Mama for assistance!"

_"Aww, that's so sweet!_" Nazz comments while Nell thanks and hugs Rolf.

"Papa, will you take my dress?" Nell hands her folded wedding dress to her father, the man who came out of the carriage with her, for safe keeping.

"Now to introduce Rolf's family!" Rolf points out each relative: "There's Papa, whom you've already met; then there's Mama, Nano, and Nana; uncles Boris, Norbert, and Norbert's wife Daria; aunties Bethany, Luda, Masha, and Masha's husband Duncan; and cousins Hector, Hera, Kari, Bastian, Colin, and little Isabelle! And over here are Rolf's dear friends Kevin; Jonathan 2x4 & his hunk of wood pal, Plank; Paul; Nazzarine; Jennifer; Edwin; Eddward with two D's, aka Double-D; Eddy; Amy Zoe; Kyle; James, aka Jimmy; and lastly, Edwin's sister Sarah!"

"Huh, wait..._ BASTIAN is here?!"_ asks the bug-eyed Sarah.

_"Ah yes, he is!"_ Bastian, who was first mentioned in "The Eds are Coming," pops up beside Sarah! Bastian appears to be about a year older than Sarah, has dark brown neck-length hair with three bangs sticking out like Kevin's hairs, a red mouth with a purple tongue, and he also has a bucktooth. He wears red overalls over a yellow shirt, wooden clog shoes, and a purple fez-like hat decorated with a large feather. He takes Sarah's hand:_ "And yes, I still wish to kiss you under the membrane of a yak!"_

Freaking out, Sarah releases her hand from Bastian's grip and runs from him, but he merely chuckles and gives chase. Zoe jokingly shouts "RUN, SARAH! RUN!!" while Kyle chuckles, and Jimmy just watches.

"You know, Eddy, I actually feel wonderful for Rolf's soon-to-be holy union with Nell now!" Double-D exclaims. "Not to mention another grand oppurtunity to learn more about the quirky customs of the Old Country!"

"It sorta _is_ a wonderful sight, Double-D!" Eddy agrees. "Yo Rolfy, you got a best man or what?"

"Oh, _Rolf has considered Kevin boy for that honorable title!_" Rolf answers, catching Kevin's attention:

"Wait, what? What am I doin?" Kevin asks.

_"Will you be Rolf's best man on this special occasion?"_ Rolf asks, and Kevin answers _"........... Yeah sure, anything for my boy Rolf!"_

"Word! You'll be needing these, then!" Rolf tosses Kevin's hat away, replacing it with a horned yak mask. Then he replaces Kevin's shoes with rubber clogs resembling yak's hooves, which Kevin has trouble walking in and he quickly crashes. Rolf tells him "Your suit will be ready by tomorrow morning! Now come, Nell! Rolf has much to show you inside his dwelling!"

While Rolf leads Nell inside the house and everyone follows, Noah and Nell's dad remain outside.

_"Perhaps we should discuss the moving plans now."_ Nell's dad says.

"Right." Noah replies.

* * *

Inside Rolf's house, while Rolf shows Nell the sippy bird ("Knock Knock, Who's Ed") in his living room, Paul comes next to Nell: "So Farma Girl, ya got any luggage back in yo carriage? I'll help bring it in! Eh?!"

"Don't get too close, Paul boy." Rolf casually warns away Paul, then he calls over Ed: "Chinless Ed boy, Rolf needs you to descend to the cellar and bring up a hundred pounds of squash for the family feast."

"Will do!" Ed affirms, going towards the basement door in the kitchen after Rolf gives him they key. Bastian amorously chases Sarah through the kitchen as Ed unlocks and enters the basement. Meanwhile...

_"And this is the room of the son of a shepherd."_ Rolf shows Nell his room, accompanied by Double-D, Eddy, Jimmy and Jonny. Rolf's room now has several rock and hip-hop posters, a modern-day TV, and a huge stuffed eel that's so long that it's mounted along the room's entire perimeter!

"Oooooo, the daughter of a shepherd is amazed!" Nell exclaims._ "I wish my parents were lenient enough to let me decorate my own quarters. I must always hide new things from them, _such as this booming box of musical tunes." Nell takes out a boombox from her pocket via hammerspace:_ "An abomination, Papa calls it."_

"Looks quite retro!" Double-D comments Nell's boombox, and Eddy remarks "It'd go good in my room!"

"If your folks abhor such modernization, then Rolf will stow away your secret belongings as a good husband." Rolf takes Nell's boombox.

"Actually,_ I planned on making it a gift of matrimony to you!"_ Nell tells Rolf.

"That's so touching!" Jimmy comments with a tear, while Jonny says "And here Plank and I were, thinkin Rolf was gonna do all the giving."

"Nell gave Rolf his suit when Rolf visited her home in Cherry River, wood boy." Rolf tells Jonny. "Now Nell, behold Rolf's wardrobe of magnificence!"

Rolf opens up his wardrobe closet, revealing all of his clothes. Nell looks at his Urban Ranger outfit: "What's this one?"

"This is Rolf's Urban Ranger uniform!" Rolf exclaims, taking out his UR uniform to show it to Nell: "With over one thousand badges to solidify Rolf's leadership status in the Peach Creek Division, and Jimmy, Jonny & Plank here are my trusted right-hand rangers!"

Jimmy and Jonny salute, then Nell asks "Do you have more urban ware, Rolf? _Because I wish deeply to see more of the curious American culture my parents shunned me from!"_

"Ahaha, Rolf has sung his own songs known as rap! Double-D Ed boy here has recorded and made them into CDs!" Rolf explains. "Double-D, bring the CDs over so Nell may see Rolf's rapping talent!"

"Oh my God, Rolf really wants to show _those_ vids!" Eddy starts laughing, and Double-D says "Um... I don't mean to be rude or disrespectful, Rolf, but I don't think those particular videos are adequate for this type of-"

"BRING THEM OVER!!" Rolf yells, the volume of his voice blowing Double-D out of his room and into the opposite wall, prompting Double-D to utter_ "As you wish, Rolf..."_

* * *

Later, Rolf shows Nell his farm: "Here is our family farm! Among our livestock we have cows & a bull, horses, goats, pigs, roosters, hens, sheep, a sheep dog as you've already seen, rabbits, peafowl for the ceremony's decor, and Nana's personal llama!"

"Wow, my Papa's puny farm pales in comparison!" Nell comments.

"Oh, and a little secret, Nell: _Rolf actually snipped some fleece from his grandmother's Andean camelid to glamorize your dress!"_

_"You did WHAT?!"_ Nana asks, having suddenly appeared behind Rolf! "CUT _MY_ LLAMA'S FUR, WILL YOU?!"

_"Please excuse Rolf while he runs until commercial's end."_ Rolf tells Nell, Eddy, Jonny, Jimmy and Nazz before he runs from the enraged Nana, who uses her walker to slowly chase after him!

"Well, since Country Boy's gone, ya need help with anythin?" Paul asks Nell after appearing out of nowhere like Nana. _"Cuz if ya do, I'm right here!"_

Jenna stretches her arm on-screen, grabs Paul by his ear, and drags him towards her:_ "What the hell are you doin, Paul?"_

"Just experimentin." Paul explains: _"I read that bein helpful will better my relationships with girls,_ so I'm tryna offer some service."

"This ain't the time for experimentin." Jenna yanks Paul's ear, stretching it and causing him pain._ "Rolf will mount your head on his wall if you 'experiment' with his fiance."_

_"I ain't tryna take her away, Baby Bonita! I just wanna construct a solid friendship!"_ Paul says._ "Now please let go of my ear!"_

Jenna releases Paul's ear, causing it to catapult back and knock him off-screen.

* * *

Meanwhile, Ed returns from the basement with a load of squash. He leaves them on the kitchen counter while Rolf's and Nell's parents, plus Rolf's Nano, talk nearby at the table. Rolf's folks sit on one one side, Nell's on the other. Nell's mom is chubby, has brown hair tied into a large bun, and her attire is largely the same except for having a red skirt instead of blue. While leaving the kitchen, Ed catches wind of their conversation, and listens to it from behind the kitchen doorway.

_"But it is too soon, yes?"_ Hanna asks.

"Rolf cannot stay forever, Hanna." Noah tells Hanna. "We have no time to waste."

"Noah is right." Nell's dad says. _"With the ceremony commencing in two days, we must decide quickly upon where he and Nell will go once they unite."_

"Ok, then. How does that spacious property in Green Almond Rill sound?" Hanna suggestively asks.

"Green Almond Rill is within the sickening vicinity of Lemon Brook, so an option, that is not." Nell's dad dismisses.

"I would have considered an area in Bananna Bluffs, had it not fallen into the sea with the cliff it was perched on." Noah says.

"Earl and Telma, have you any suggestions?" Nano asks Nell's parents (Earl and Telma) after coughing a bit.

"Well, I do have this one place in mind." Telma says._ "There is this most pristine farmland to the west. In the San Joaquin Valley, if I am not mistaken. It has abundant green pastures, fertile soil, and plentiful rainfall that will provide excellent harvest. Our children will be happy there."_

"We will look more into it, then. _I approve."_ Noah puts his hand on the table, then Earl puts his hand on Noah's: "Then it is settled, yes?"

_"Yes, but we shall tell not them of this until they come together That way, they will have no choice but to move."_ Noah says.

Ed gasps at what he heard, then he runs off...

* * *

On Ed's and Sarah's lawn, Ed gathers all his friends, with only Sarah being absent as she's being chased by the amorous Bastian around Rolf's house. Ed tells his friends everything he heard, and they are greatly shocked! Paul yells "WHAT?!"

"The San Joaquin Valley?_ That's all the way in California!"_ Double-D reacts in shock.

"No way, I don't believe that!" Kevin reacts, saddening. _"I can't believe that."_

"You mean Rolf is... _moving away?"_ Jimmy asks.

"But Rolf is too awesome to move away." Zoe says.

_"I heard it straight from the horse's mouths."_ Ed says. "No wait, it was Rolf's and Nell's dads' mouths, but you know what I mean."

"Where's Rolf? Does he know about this?" Nazz asks.

"I read in my Cultural Studies book that, as soon as they marry, Old Country newlyweds must move out of their old homes and into a new location selected by their fathers." Double-D explains._ "But judging from what Ed heard, Rolf doesn't know."_

"We gotta tell him." Eddy says, beginning to set out for Rolf when Double-D stops him.

"Eddy, we can't just go up and tell Rolf of this!" Double-D reasons. _"Rolf has grown attached to Peach Creek and to the American culture. If we tell him that he's moving away from here, it'll frustrate him to a level we'll probably never be able to fathom. And when that happens he, more likely than not, will abject to the marriage. Worst-case scenario, that will give rise to enormous tensions and bitterness between him, his family, Nell's family, and maybe even Nell herself!"_

_"... Damn, you got a point there, Sockhead."_ Eddy admits, snapping his fingers. Kyle asks "What do we do, then?"

_"We gotta find a way to split Rolf and Nell apart somehow."_ Jonny says, then listens to Plank: _".............. Plank says to make em hate each other."_

"Sounds good, Jonny boy!" Eddy approves. "Everybody, let's start thinkin up plans. _Should one fail, we'll try another."_

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

Trivia: One of Rolf's cousins, Hera, is named after Zeus's wife Hera from Greek mythology.

I tried being creative with words in Rolf's native language. For example, Rolf's "Rosuk" oil from BPS and the "Yemuk" shampoo from this episode both end with the syllable "uk," which I will consider as meaning "liquid." Likewise, the letter "z" would be for plural nouns, like "koelz (eggs)" from BPS and "guehmirz (squash)" from my "Rise of The Gourd" fic.

Regarding all of Rolf's relatives' way of speaking, I decided to make Rolf's third-person speech unique to him so that he sticks out from his family.


	38. BetrothEd pt 2

Behold, the longest chapter of the Teen Series is here! Oh and I forgot to mention: thanks to CasaNova73099 for helping me a bit with this episode.

* * *

We see a bush in close-up view. Sarah's eyes pop out of it to look around the farm for any sign of Bastian, but she only sees Victor and Beatrice (one of the cows) eating hay while a few of Rolfs' other relatives go around the farm.

"Whew, I think I finally lost him!" Sarah sighs in relief, thinking she finally lost Bastian.

_"Lost me? I thought I lost you!"_ Bastian appears in the bush with Sarah, whose eyes bug out! She turns, and she sees Bastian's bucktoothed smile! Bastian says, while crawling onto Sarah: "Many a boy and girl back in my country took to secluded shrubs of intimacy such as this one when they wished to connect their souls! _So, shall we lock labials?!"_

"LEAVE ME ALONE!!" Sarah leaps out of the bush, kicking up dirt onto the bush and burying it (along with Bastian) as she winds up to run again. She zooms off, passing through the farm's rhubarb patch as she goes. In the rhubarb patch...

"WILFRED!" Rolf grabs Wilfred, who was feeding upon the rhubarb. Wilfred holds on with his mouth, and Rolf shouts "YOUR FEASTING UPON THE RHUBARB WITHOUT CARE DISGUSTS ROLF! HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THAT MAMA NEEDS THESE RHIZOMES FOR THE CEREMONIAL PIE!?"

"Yo, Rolf." Kevin calls as he approaches Rolf. "I'm afraid I got... some bad news for you."

"Whatever may it be?" Rolf asks. While Kevin explains, we see Nell, the Eds, and Paul gathered around Rolf's bureau, where they are watching one of Rolf's rap videos on Double-D's laptop. In the video, Rolf is wearing a white tanktop, a red bandanna, black shades, and a gold chain. However, his rapping is rather poor, and Ed, Eddy and Paul start laughing.

"Hahahaha! _Shizzle ma jizzle, yo!"_ Ed and Paul joke at one of Rolf's lines.

"I'm tellin ya!" Eddy says on the floor between laughs. "'Rolfy G's' flow is more like a trickle!"

"Flow? Trickle? I don't see any water here." Nell looks around in Rolf's video for any trickling or flowing water, of which there's none of. "Where are these trickle and flow you speak of?"

Nell's perplexion makes the boys laugh harder, and even Double-D can't hold a chuckle! Back outside, Rolf asks Kevin "Ah, so Nell has seen a some of Rolf's rhyme work, yes?!"

"Yeah but, the thing is..." Kevin lowers his head and closes his eyes. "... Nell's opinion of em were..._ let's just say she said the equivalent of you having no game, talent, or hopes of being with her. It hurts me to say this, man, but she..."_

"Sorry! Rolf had to take a moment to get Wilfred off Mama's rhubarb." Rolf returns to Kevin, thus he didn't hear any of what Kevin said. "Will you start over, Kevin?"

"Oh, Rolf!" Nell rushes up to Rolf, holding Rolf's rap CD singles which include "Old Country Vibe,""Gone Colonial,""Flying Pigs" and "Cream of the Crop" (all referencing Rolf's lifestyle). Nell tells Rolf "Even though I failed to comprehend the bulk of your lyricism, your songs have caught my keen interest. Will you make copies once we marry?!"

"Absolutely!" Rolf answers while Kevin slumps and walks away, his plan having failed and he tells the other teens, Jimmy, Kyle and Zoe on the front lawn.

"My plan struck out." Kevin reports.

"Then Plan B, it is." Eddy looks at Jonny, Nazz and Jenna, the latter two holding cameras.

"Jonny will be helpin out Nell and the families build their huts this evening, so Jenn and I will have some dirt on her by nightfall, and we'll show Rolf in the morning." Nazz says.

* * *

Eddy sits on Double-D's roof at sunset, using binoculars to see Rolf's and Nell's relatives build their temporary huts in Rolf's farm. He sees Jonny passing some straw to Nell on a ladder so Nell can top her hut with it, while Nazz sneaks under Nell and photographs her legs under her skirt.

"That'll be a good one!" Eddy exclaims, then Double-D calls him down to the lawn. Eddy descends to Double-D, who has his Cultural Studies book.

"Look." Double-D shows Eddy a picture of a short, long-bearded man with a round belly, angel-like wings, an open fur vest, black pants, and a colorful feather-fan headpiece in the back of his long dark brown hair. He is riding on a yak, with a flock of doves flying behind him. His name is...

_"Turtugura, the Old Country god of love and fidelity."_ Double-D says.

* * *

The next morning, Nazz and Jenna meet the Eds, Sarah, Kevin and Paul in Ed's and Sarah's kitchen. Sarah is baggy-eyed and rough-haired.

"Ok, we brought our four best pictures, and Jonny is bringin Rolf over.... What happened with Sarah?" Jenna asks.

"Rolf's stupid cousin Bastian sang freakin love songs outside my window all night." Sarah explains. "In other words, _zero sleep."_

Jonny brings Rolf in: "So what are these pictures Rolf needs to see?" Rolf asks.

"Right here." Nazz takes the four pictures of Nell out of her purse to show Rolf. Everyone gathers to see them, with Paul grinning excitedly._ The pictures reveal Nell's unsightly body hair, including her legs under her skirt while she was working on the ladder, her bare feet after removing her clogs and socks inside her finished hut, her back when she removed her blouse for a back massage by Victor's hooves, and her armpits while wearing her sleeveless yellow nightgown!!_

"Nell is by _far_ the hairiest chick I've ever seen." Eddy comments in disgust. Paul is so mortified by the photos that, after a few bug-eyed and jaw-dropped seconds, he faints and falls back, twitching and drooling on the floor!

"Hoho, Rolf is very much turned on by Nell's hairiness!" Rolf exclaims, much to his friends' surprise and shock! _"In my country, womens' body hair is considered attractive and has special motherly properties, so it can only be shaved when they bear children, in which case their follicles are made into baby clothes for said offspring."_

"That's sooo otherworldly." Ed remarks while Kevin's face turns green, and he runs off-screen to puke.

"And to think hirsutism would never be a norm..." Double-D covers his face under his hat so he doesn't see Nell's hideous body hair photos.

"Rolf must go now. And Ed boys, please summon the Kanker girls, dusk-til-dawn Rachel girl, and Rachel girl's mate for tomorrow as well, as we'll need them for the wedding march." Rolf says while heading towards the door. He opens it, then looks back: "Oh and Sarah girl, Bastian here has come to see you!"

Bastian enters: "Hello, my fair Sarah!"

We hear a SMASH sound, then we see a Sarah-shaped hole in the wall going outside. Bastian goes through it to chase Sarah again. After this, Eddy says "Well, it's time for Plan C: _get Rolf mad and show his destructive side to Nell."_

* * *

Later, in Rolf's house, Jimmy and Kyle are bringing Zoe upstairs towards Rolf's room.

"Remember, once you go in his room, go as wild as you can with his stuff." Kyle tells Zoe as they and Jimmy approach Rolf's door.

"You can count on me!" Zoe replies with a wide grin, then she dives into Rolf's room. Jimmy shouts "TAKE COVER!" before he and Kyle run.

"WHAHOOHOOHOO!!" Zoe yells from inside Rolf's room, and we hear banging and thrashing around inside.

"WHAT IS GOING ON?!" one of Rolf's male relatives asks, and Rolf shouts while running upstairs: "WHO IS IN ROLF'S BEDROOM?!"

"YEEHAW!!" Zoe comes riding downstairs on Rolf's stuffed eel, wearing an Urban Ranger uniform and flattening Rolf against the steps. When the eel slides to the bottom and into the kitchen, Zoe opens its mouth and jumps off. Its lower jaw trips Nano, who drops his cane and falls into the eel's mouth, which then snaps shut on him and crashes into a wall. Zoe lands from her jump, and salutes:

"RANGER ZOE IS READY TO PROVIDE ASSISTANCE!" Zoe rushes up to Hanna, who's cooking some stew with badger parts in her couldron on the fire pit shown in "X Marks the Ed." Zoe looks at the stew: "This will be so much better with spice!" Zoe grabs some spicy roots from one of the kitchen shelves and drops them into Hanna's stew.

"MY BADGER STEW!" Hanna shrieks at her ruined stew while Zoe zips outside, returns with the rabbit hutch, opens the cages, and starts throwing rabbits at Rolf's & Nell's relatives: "HERE EVERYONE, LET'S SPREAD SOME CUDDLIN LOVE SO I CAN EARN MY 'PASSING OF THE RABBITS' BADGE!"

The rabbits are thrown throughout the kitchen, one even landing in Hanna's badger stew and it gets boiled! Other rabbits land in the relatives' hands, but Nana proves to be allergic to them when...

_"Ah... Ahhh.... AHHHH CHOOOOO!!!"_ Nana does a huge sneeze that blows a hole out through the kitchen wall. Several of Rolf's relatives are sent flying outside as well, destroying one of the huts in the process! Ed, Eddy and Kevin watch from behind one of the house's corners as Zoe rushes outside and starts bandaging Rolf's injured relatives, then the steaming Rolf approaches Zoe.

"Ooo Rolf, I was just helpin out some of your hurt kin!" Zoe explains. "Am I gettin the 'First Aid Supply' badge?"

Rolf puts on the Hat of Discipline from "Momma's Little Ed," and he tries flattening Zoe with it. Zoe runs and dodges Rolf's hammer slams, making him destroy more huts instead.

"Thata girl, Zoe!" Eddy exclaims as he watches with his fellow Eds and Kevin, and Rolf's destroying huts while trying to get Zoe catches Nell's attention in her hut. She looks outside, and sees Rolf finally squash Zoe with his Hat of Discipline. He picks up Zoe by one of her pigtails.

"ROLF IS OUTRAGED BY YOUR DISRUPTION OF HIS WEDDING PREPARATIONS, THE VIOLATION OF HIS PROPERTY, AND YOUR MOCKING FACADE OF RANGERHOOD!!" Rolf yells: "FOR THIS, YOU MUST-"

"OH, ROLF!" Nell rushes up to and hugs Rolf, making him drop Zoe. Nell exclaims: _"Your ferocious temper, I much adore! It is indeed worthy of a true shephard!"_

_"Dammit, man."_ Kevin snaps his fingers angrily. Ed asks "Now what?"

"Don't worry, guys. _We still got one more ace."_ Eddy says, then we fast-forward to nightfall.

* * *

Rolf, wearing the same-colored pajamas as in the cartoon series, is sleeping in his bed when we see his door creak open.

"Get ready, boys." Eddy's voice says, then the door opens, revealing Eddy's silhouette on an also-silhouetted bovine figure. They come in, the bovine figure back-kicks the door shut, and they shakily approach Rolf's bed.

"Ed, please slow down." Double-D says from inside the rear half of the bovine figure, then they stop in front of Rolf's bed.

"Play the flute, Single-D." Eddy tells Ed, who's inside the bovine figure's front half. He starts playing a romantic tune on his flute ("Who's Minding the Ed") to awaken Rolf.

"Huh?" Rolf groggily wakes up, only to see Eddy and the bovine figure, revealed to be a makeshift yak (operated by Ed and Double-D), being shined upon by the moonlight from his window!! Eddy is dressed as the Old Country God of love and fidelity, Turtugura, complete with a long fake brown beard, a long brown wig, and the feather headpiece in the back of his wig. Double-D pokes several paper doves out through holes in the yak's rear half on long thin sticks, waving them to make them "fly" around. Surprised by the sudden arrival of his "god," Rolf shouts "TURTUGURA!!"

Rolf jumps up on his bed, then bows on his knees in praise before Eddy, who deepens his voice:_ "Yes, it is I, Turtugura. And the marital future of thee, I have foreseen."_

_"What have you foreseen, he of great romantic wisdom?"_ Rolf asks, looking up while still bowing.

_"Your holy union with Nell..."_ Eddy begins._ "... Meant to be, it is not."_

_"..... What? How is it not so?"_ Rolf asks. But before "Turtugura" could explain, Sarah and Bastian burst into the room, Sarah trying to break free from Bastian's grasp. Eddy and Rolf watch their struggle.

"You are a tough one, she who possesses steely resistance!" Bastian tells Sarah as he pins her arms to the floor and tries to kiss her.

_"GET OFF!!"_ Sarah kicks up into Bastian's stomach, sending him flying overhead and he crashes down onto Eddy, squishing him and the "yak" in the process. The "yak's" two halves have been torn apart, exposing Double-D in the rear half, and he freaks out as his paper doves scatter all over the room. Sarah sees this, gasps, and so does Rolf! Rolf picks up a paper dove on his bed, sees it as such, then angrily crumples it.

_"Oh shit..."_ Eddy utters as he and Ed look at Rolf. Bastian backs away from the reddening Rolf.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS, ED BOYS?!" he asks:_ "WHY TRY SABOTAGING ROLF'S BIG DAY TOMORROW?!"_

"ROLF, PLEASE! DON'T MARRY NELL!" Double-D begs. Rolf, rolling up his pajamas's sleeves to reveal his muscles, asks_ "WHY NOT?!"_

_"BECAUSE YOUR PARENTS AND NELL'S PARENTS CHOSE A PLACE IN CALIFORNIA FOR YOU TWO TO LIVE ONCE YOU MARRY, AND ONCE YOU DO, YOU'LL HAVE TO MOVE AWAY!!"_ Ed answers, stopping Rolf in his tracks, and his eyes widen in great shock!!

_"Rolf?..."_ Double-D asks as Rolf drops to his knees.

"WHAT IN DEMON'S NAME IS GOING ON?!" Nano's voice asks as he approaches Rolf's room, so Eddy quickly says "Let's haul ass!"

The Eds open Rolf's window and jump out, followed by Sarah just before Nano enters Rolf's room. Nano is wearing a light-blue mens' nightgown with matching slippers and a nightcap. He and Bastian approach Rolf, whose head is down.

_"Cousin?..."_ Bastian puts his hand on Rolf's shoulder to comfort him.

_"Please leave. Rolf requires solitude."_ Rolf tells his cousin and grandfather, so Nano, after a few coughs, motions Bastian to follow him out of the room.

* * *

We then see Rolf sitting on a stump in his farm, away from his relatives', Nell's, and her relatives' huts. As he looks up at the moonlit sky, memories flash through his mind:

**Flashback #1: We see Young Rolf, who looks the same as during his flashback in "Every Which Way but Ed," moving into his new home in the cul-de-sac. He helps Noah and another workman move in by pushing a huge rectangular crate towards his new backyard. We hear farm animals inside the crate.**

**"[ARGH, WHY MUST ROLF ASSIST IN THE HEAVY LABOR?!]" Rolf complains in his native language while Noah and the other workman move furniture out of the moving truck and into the new house. Rolf strains himself over and over before he finally reaches his spacious new backyard, which has a shed. Rolf looks at it.**

**"Hmm... nice, green and... sp-spacious, yes?!" Rolf stutteringly comments his new farm, stuttering because he hasn't fully mastered English yet. He leaps up onto the crate, and lifts up the door in front: "[WELCOME TO OUR NEW HOME, LIVESTOCK!!]"**

**All of the Vorliks' livestock rush out of the cramped crate and start roaming around the farm, except one that's still in the crate, whining. Rolf drops down, seeing that it's...**

**"[Wilfred, come out and smell the fresh air. It is good for you.]" Rolf goes in to get Wilfred. But we hear Wilfred SQUEAL repeatedly, then the little piglet dashes out of the crate in a frenzied panic! Wilfred runs out of the farm and Rolf chases after him, yelling "WILFRED!" repeatedly before finally jumping on and catching him in the middle of the cul-de-sac.**

**"[Calm down!]" Rolf subdues Wilfred and picks him up by his nostrils, then...**

**"THAT WAS COOL!!" Young Jonny, having curly hair and wearing the same clothes except for having blue shorts, rushes up to Rolf with Plank. "GREETINGS, NEW KID! I'M JONNY, AND THIS IS MY PAL PLANK!"**

**_"Uhh... Hello, Jonny!"_ Rolf waves.**

**"WE HAVE A NEWCOMER, SARAH!" Young Jimmy, having smaller curls and wearing the same clothes except having a short-sleeved shirt, calls over Sarah from her house. Young Sarah comes, wearing shorts but otherwise looking the same.**

**"DOGPILE ON THE NEW KID!" Sarah declares, then she, Jimmy and Jonny dogpile on Rolf.**

**"WHOOHOO!" Young Kevin joins the dogpile. He is long-haired, and his clothes are the same except his shirt is sleeveless. He, Sarah, Jimmy and Jonny laugh until...**

**_"YYEEAAHH!!"_ Young Nazz yells, then we see her fat, silhouetted figure dropping down for the dogpile! Kevin, Sarah, Jimmy, Jonny, and especially Rolf develop bug-eyes as the enormous Nazz SLAMS onto them, also cracking the cul-de-sac a bit upon impact. Nazz also wears the same clothes, but of larger sizes to cover her fat self. She giggles and gets up, and all the kids except Rolf unflatten themselves.**

**"Welcome to the neighborhood, new guy!" Kevin greets as he helps Rolf up._ "What's your name?"_**

**_"... I... I am... Rolf! My name is Rolf!"_ Rolf introduces himself.**

**Flashback #2: The next day, Kevin shows Rolf the lane.**

**"And this is the lane!" Kevin says. "This is where all the kids hang out, so just chill with us here, and you'll nail English in no time!"**

**_"No time is right, as Mr. Newcomer can learn it right here, RIGHT NOW!"_ Eddy's voice exclaims, then Kevin and Rolf see the Eds at a stand named "ENGLISH LESSONZ: 25 SENTS." Eddy and Double-D look the same, while Ed is wearing shorts and has not yet acquired his jacket. Eddy is running the stand and has a money jar, while Double-D writes English words on a whiteboard for Ed, who sits in a desk while acting as a student learning English.**

**"Say your line, nimrod." Eddy elbows Ed, reminding him of his line: "Oh, yes! I'm learning English fast and easy here, that way I can speak both it AND American!"**

**Kevin bursts out laughing, while Rolf is interested: _"Yes, Rolf wishes... to-to learn this-"_**

**"Nah nah, man! Don't waste your time on these dorks!" Kevin takes Rolf along with him towards the playground. "They're just a bunch of wannabe losers."**

**"What are wannabe losers?" Rolf asks as he and Kevin disappear around the lane's entrance.**

**"Rats. Darn that Kevin." Eddy curses, but Double-D sighs: "Well, there goes another scam down the drain of wasted oppurtunity, as usual."**

**Flashback #3: The swimming hole scene in which Nazz dives off the cliff in "Every Which Way but Ed."**

**Flashback #4: Rolf, now wearing his cartoon clothes, watches with Kevin from a tree branch as Nazz does jumping-jacks in her room, part of a workout video she's using to lose weight.**

**"I can already see it, Rolf! _Nazz is gonna be the hottest chick in town!"_ Kevin tells Rolf as he marvels at Nazz.**

**"Would she not burn if she were hot?" Rolf asks, earning him a stare from Kevin.**

**Flashback #5: Rolf wearing the fad sunglasses along with the other cul-de-sac kids during "It's Way Ed."**

**Flashback #6: Rolf performing "The Hairless Otter" with Kevin in "Hands Across Ed."  
**

**Flashback #7: Rolf being lazy as part of breaking the rules with the other kids in "Stop, Look, and Ed."**

**Flashback #8: Rolf, Jonny, Jimmy, Kevin, Ed, Double-D and Nazz partying in Eddy's house during "To Sir with Ed."**

**Flashback #9: Rolf smashing a barrel on Ed and Ed slamming a wheelbarrow on Rolf during the "That's My Horse" number in "Wish You Were Ed."**

**Flashback #10: Rolf pouring eels into the Eds' pants at the end of "Dueling Eds."**

**Flashback #11: Rolf trying to take some of Nazz's popcorn in "Little Ed Blue."**

**Flashback #12: Rolf giving the Eds haircuts in "Take This Ed and Shove It."**

**Flashback #13: The kids caroling at the end of "Jingle Jingle Jangle," while Rolf just looks at his caroling book in confusion.**

**Flashback #14: Rolf bossing Kevin around during "Boom Boom Out Goes the Ed."**

**Flashback #15: Rolf earning his "Hairy Chest of Resilience" badge at the end of "The Good, the Bad, and the Ed."**

**Flashback #16: Rolf watching the monster truck show with the other kids at Kevin's house in "A Town Called Ed."**

**Flashback #17: Rolf at the school dance in "May I Have This Ed?"**

**Flashback #18: Rolf giving Eddy the Armpit Rub of Victory at the end of BPS.**

**Flashback #19: Rolf fighting The Gourd's Squashbot army alongside his old and new friends during the climactic final battle of "Rise of The Gourd (RoTG)."**

**Flashback #20: A day after RoTG, Rolf is harvesting potatoes when he sees a shadowy figure eating some out of the ground.**

**"What the?..." Rolf approaches and picks up the shady figure, revealing that it's Zoe (who just moved in), and Rolf screams and throws her! She gets up, and Rolf points a pitchfork at her:_ "Who are you, and why are you feeding upon Rolf's potatoes?"_**

**"What?! Can't the new girl, aka myself, have some fresh fruit of the earth?" Zoe asks back, taking a bite from another raw potato.**

**_"You're new?"_ Rolf asks, lowering his pitchfork.**

**_"Yeah I just moved in yesterday!"_ Zoe answers. "I'm Zoe, and I gotta say, your potatoes are the most WICKED!"**

**Flashback #21: A several weeks after meeting Zoe, Rolf awaits as Jenna brings a black-&-white pig to his doorstep.**

**"Here she is!" Jenna presents the pig to Rolf: "Her name's Meggy. My titi Gabriela had to give her up, _so I was hopin you'd take her."_**

**Rolf picks up Meggy, examines around her body, and sniffs her. He looks at Jenna...**

**"... Worry no more, fellow foreigner Jenn girl! _Meggy has been accepted!"_ Rolf says, much to Jenna's joy, then Rolf adds _"A fine mate for Wilfred, she will make!"_**

**Flashback #22: Several months later, Rolf brings the Eds over to his farm.**

**"Rolf's coyote problem has been solved, Ed boys! _Never again will Papa's sheep be preyed upon_. FIDO!" Rolf calls Fido, who jumps out of a bush and towards the Eds. Ed and Double-D jump out of the way as Fido knocks Eddy down and licks him.**

**Double-D chuckles: "What a nice Great Pyrenees you have here, Rolf!" he comments as Eddy yells at Fido: "AH, YUCK! GET OFF ME!"**

**Flashback #23: At the eighth grade graduation ceremony, shown to be the Peach Creek Junior High Class of 2006, the boys wear orange while the girls wear blue. Rolf, who grew his hair a bit more, is called up, and his friends & family cheer wildly as he gets his diploma. Once they go outside, Eddy huddles Rolf, his fellow Eds, Kevin, Jonny, and Paul together. Ed's hair is now combed like in "Over Your Ed," Double-D and Kevin grew theirs to neck-length, and Jonny is growing his again.**

**"WHOO!! NEXT STOP, HIGH SCHOOL!!" Eddy shouts excitedly.**

**"HELL YEAH!!" Ed, Kevin and Paul cheer, and Paul dances in joy.**

**"Rolf looks forward to what everyone says will be the best years of our lives!" Rolf exclaims.**

**Flashback #24: Rolf, Kevin and Jenna, now wearing their Teen Series clothes, watch Eddy and Nazz as they make out on a bench in the playground. Eddy and Nazz also have their Teen Series clothes, and Nazz grew her hair to shoulder-length.**

**"Ain't that just cute?" Jenna asks in awe as Eddy and Nazz kiss.**

**"Didn't you want Nazz, lustful Kevin boy?" Rolf asks.**

**"Not anymore; I got someone else!" Kevin rolls his eyebrows at Jenna.**

**"Kev, we're just friends." Jenna tells Kevin while turning away. "And _only_ friends."**

**Kevin and Rolf grin.**

**Flashback #25: Rolf, who now has his hair in a ponytail, is bringing a crate labeled "To: The Vorlik Family; From: The Yonnick Family" into his farm via towing it by tractor. Ed, wearing his farm-working attire, comes to help as Rolf backs up to bring the crate into a pen in the back of the farm.**

**"Ready, Pheasant Tail?" Rolf asks Ed (who was promoted from Turkey Eyes to Pheasant Tail). Ed jumps onto the crate and answers "Ready, boss."**

**"Ok, open it." Rolf instructs. Ed lifts the crate open, and Julian jumps out with a dramatic ROAR!! Very angry, Julian charges out through his pen, much to Ed's and Rolf's shock, and he rampages down the lane from Rolf's farm. Down the lane...**

**"OH SHIT!! RAGIN BULL ALERT!!" Paul's voice screams, then everyones' SCREAMS are heard. Ed and Rolf watch as Double-D, Eddy, Sarah (her hair now in a ponytail), Kevin, Nazz, and Kyle (who cut his ponytail from RoTG) are hurled through the air by Julian. Ed and Rolf rush to get Julian, and as they go, we hear Zoe yell "WHOO, WHAT A RODEO!!"**

**Flashback #26: In the Zeats-n-Falconer Nightclub (which later appears in "Scary Squirmy Screamathon"), teens are partying under colorful lights and Eddy, wearing a black hoodie instead of his usual shirt, does a backflip as he breakdances. Rolf, wearing a lionfish outfit (like his old blowfish outfit), is walking through the dance crowd with Kevin and Paul, who are wearing black tanktops and camo pants. Paul also changed his afro into cornrows. An Asian girl walking by catches Paul's eye.**

**"Later, guys!" Paul goes to follow the girl, then Kevin points Rolf's head to someone: "There she is..."**

**Kevin is pointing to a girl watching Eddy breakdance, her back facing Kevin and Rolf. She's wearing a cropped gray hoodie that would show her stomach if she were facing the screen, blue jeans, and white sneakers. She also has her hood up.**

**"Who is she?" Rolf asks, but Kevin only answers _"It's her..."_**

**"Oh, it's herrrr!" Rolf figures out. _"Go chitchat with herrrr, that is if ya got enough man, yo!"_**

**"Lay off, I'm manly." Kevin scoffs, but sweats when he looks at the hooded girl's butt: _"But dude, she's so..."_**

**_"Enough! The time of reckoning has come, Kevin dawg!"_ Rolf pushes Kevin forward, and Kevin bumps into the hooded girl. She turns around, revealing herself as Jenna! It's also shown that she got her bellybutton pierced!**

**"Hey, Kev!" Jenna greets with a smile, but she quickly changes this to annoyance: "I mean-_ hey, Kev."_**

**Kevin sweats without a word, so Jenna asks "You ok?" But Kevin manages to make a blushing smile.**

**_"Uh hey, Jenn!"_ Kevin starts. _"I... I... I like your new piercing! It... makes your stomach look sexy!"_**

**"Heeheehee, thank you! You're the first guy to say that!" Jenna blushes, putting a hand on her stomach.**

**_"Um, yeah!... You look real hot tonight!"_ Kevin tells Jenna, nervously putting a hand around her waist. _"You're... beautiful!"_  
**

**_"Awww, Keviiiiinn!"_ Jenna hugs Kevin and takes him onto the dance floor:_ "Come on, let's dance!"_**

**_"Ah, another first for Kevin, yes!"_ Rolf comments with a smile as Kevin dances with Jenna for the first time.**

**Flashback #27: Rolf at Double-D's party in "Party at My Ed."**

**Flashback #28: Rolf butting chests with Ed and posing with their team after they won their football game against Lemon Brook during "Ed Stroke."**

**Flashback #29: Rolf, Kevin and Ed fighting the Titan Cap-raged Jimmy in "The Incredible Ed."**

**Flashback #30: Rolf seeing Santa Claus and Ed at the North Pole with his friends, Noah, Ed's parents, Nazz's cousin Erin, Kevin's dad Peter, and Zoe's dad Thomas in "Holly Jolly Holiday."**

_Then Rolf sees all his friends as laughing constellations in the night sky, and his own laughing reflection appears on the moon. All his friends talk about Rolf, how great he is, and how loved he is._

_Rolf's eyes fill with tears, and they roll down his cheeks._

* * *

The next day, the Eds head towards Rolf's house with the Kankers and Rachel. The Eds are wearing black-&-purple tuxes, the Kankers wear purple full-length dresses & shoes, and Rachel wears a reddish-purple knee-length dress with matching high-heels and lipstick.

_"Even though I never talked to Rolf that much, he was one of the more unique people I've met."_ Rachel says.

"I kinda liked him, too." May adds, and Ed wipes a tear off his cheek.

"Seeing him go is gonna be sad." Lee says as she, her sisters, the Eds and Rachel meet the other teens and kids on Rolf's lawn. Three of the couples- Nazz & Jonny, Sarah & Kyle, and Jimmy & Zoe- wear the same attire as the Eds & Kankers, while Kevin's & Jenna's are made of long yak fur. Kevin also has his yak mask and hoof shoes as part of being Rolf's best man. Paul, wearing a black-&-white tux and matching shoes, is slumped on a chair, twitching a drooling since he's still traumatized from seeing Nell's hairy pictures.

"Hey Rachel, where's Jacob?" Nazz asks.

"Things weren't working out anymore, so we broke up a few days ago." Rachel answers. "I'm just here as a guest."

_"So I guess this is gonna be the last time we ever see him."_ Kevin says, wiping a tear. Jimmy starts crying, so Zoe gives him a comforting hug.

"If I never met Double-D, I would date Rolf." Marie says sadly. Hanna comes with a large cage full of turtle doves.

"Here are your doves." Hanna gives each couple a pair of turtle doves while Rachel carries the still-drooling Paul and goes ahead with him. Hanna then motions the couples to enter the house and line up at the back door. From there, they see an aisle through the middle of Rolf's farm. Rolf's and Nell's families sit on opposite sides, with Rachel, Paul and Plank on Rolf's side as guests. At the end is a portable wedding arch surrounded by a large ring of sheep, who are in turn surrounded by the other farm animals and an Old-Country music band that's playing the wedding music. The priest, wearing Turtugura-themed robes, awaits by the arch. Then the wedding march begins, with each couple holding their given doves. The first couple to walk down is Rolf's and Nell's youngest cousins (Rolf's being Isabelle), then some older kid relatives, Jimmy & Zoe, Sarah & Kyle, Rolf's & Nell's younger teen relatives, Jonny & Nazz, Kevin & Jenna, Double-D & Marie, Eddy & Lee, Ed & May, then some of Rolf's & Nell's older relatives. The couples go down the aisle and into the ring of sheep, where the couples split and gather along opposite sides of the sheep ring, around the arch.

Then Rolf comes down the aisle, wearing a purple-&-white morning suit with long coattails and a cravat. Double-D, Jonny and Nazz hold in their tears as Rolf stops at the arch, where Kevin steps up to join his side. But Rolf has a conflicted look on his face.

Then Nell walks down, with the feather girl (the Old Country equivalent of the flower girl) tossing dove feathers around. Nell is wearing her white dress with a veil and a purple sash, and she has a bouquet of flowers. She meets Rolf at the arch, where her maiden of honor, who's wearing angel wings on her dress, joins her side. Rolf and Nell step up to each other and hold hands. As the priest begins reading out of his book in Old-Country language, even Eddy and Sarah barely manage to hold their tears! Next, Kevin and Nell's maiden of honor fit Rolf's and Nell's rings onto their fingers! The priest then has Rolf and Nell make their vows, in their native language. Nell goes first:

_"[I, Nella Hirok, take you, Rolf Vorlik, to be my husband, my partner, my friend, and my eternal love. I take you to praise and respect your successes when you rise up, and to comfort and nurture your failures when you fall down. I will forever be with you, watching, caring for, and loving you.]"_

Rolf makes his vow: _"[I, Rolf Vorlik, take you, Nella Hirok, to be my friend, my mate, my wife, and the mother of our children. Cherish, protect, and love you I always will. And your husband, best friend and faithful mate in life, I will always be. May we be together until the ghost of souls parts us.]"_

_"[The bride and groom may now kiss and come together in holy matrimony.]"_ the priest says. The other couples prepare to release their doves as Nell and Rolf slowly form their lips, _and they move closer... closer... closer..._

_"Nell..."_ Rolf halts:_ "Rolf loves you, but..... I am sorry."_

Rolf steps back and removes his ring. Everyone GASPS, except the drooling Paul and the only-wide-eyed Rachel!!

_"R-Rolf is..."_ Double-D utters but is unable to finish.

_"Rolf?!"_ Nell asks in shock, and Noah rises up: _"[WHAT ARE YOU DOING, ROLF?!!]"_

_"[NO!! WHAT WERE YOU DOING, SETTING ROLF UP TO MOVE CROSS-COUNTRY?!!]"_ Rolf asks back.

"[Cross-country?]" Nell asks, and Noah tells Rolf "[BUT SON, IT IS OUR TRADITION TO SEND WEDDED OFFSPRING OFF TO NEW GREEN PASTURES!]"

"[ROLF IS TIRED OF CONSTANT TRADITION, PAPA!!]" Rolf shouts, then explains in English: "YES, ROLF CAME INTO THIS COUNTRY CLINGING TO THE WAYS OF HIS HOMELAND! BUT AS THE YEARS WENT BY, ROLF HAS BECOME ACQUAINTED WITH MANY WONDERFUL FRIENDS, AND THROUGH THEM, ROLF CAME TO APPRECIATE AND LIVE MORE BY THE MODERN GO-GO WAYS OF THIS LAND, _THE LAND OF THE FREE! AND SINCE THIS IS A FREE COUNTRY, ROLF SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO MAKE HIS OWN CHOICES, AND ROLF HAS CHOSEN TO REMAIN HERE AND SPEND THE REMAINDER OF HIS YOUTH WITH THE FRIENDS WHO MADE HIS TRANSFORMATION POSSIBLE!! AND IF THIS MARRIAGE MEANS HAVING TO MOVE WEST, THEN ROLF REFUSES TO MARRY!!"_

"NO, THINK ABOUT OUR DAUGHTER!!" Earl shouts, concerned for Nell.

"ENOUGH, PAPA!" Nell tells Earl, removing her ring as well and slamming her bouquet: "I HAVE BEEN QUIET FOR TOO LONG!_ I TOO HAVE GROWN TIRED OF LIVING EXCLUSIVELY BY THE WAYS OF THE OLD COUNTRY AND OF MY PARENT'S SCORNFUL SHELLS OF INTOLERANCE FOR AMERICAN MODERNISM! I WANTED TO MINGLE WITH MY UP-TO-DATE PEERS, BUT YOU NEVER LET ME! SO IN THAT RESPECT, ROLF SPEAKS FOR BOTH OF US, AND SINCE HE WAS BRAVE ENOUGH TO DEFY OUR CULTURE, SO SHALL I!!"_

Rolf's and Nell's parents and relatives are silenced, then Rolf turns to Nell. He kisses her:_ "We will still marry someday, Nell. Rolf promises."_

_"Nell will accept that!"_ Nell replies._ "May we still keep in touch until then?"_

_"Of course!"_ Rolf answers, and he and Nell hug.

"WHOOOOOOOOO!!!!" the families and couples cheer, and the couples release their doves, which fly around Rolf and Nell as they hug and subsequently part ways.

_"YAY, ROLF IS STAYIN!!"_ Ed exclaims as he and all the other teens and kids group-hug Rolf. Even Rachel gets up to join the hug!

_"WE'RE SO GLAD YOU'RE STAYIN, BRO!!"_ Kevin exclaims, then Rolf's parents and grandparents approach.

"Son." Noah begins. _"As you still decided to marry Nell in the future, we have decided... to let you stay with us until then."_

_"Thank you, family!"_ Rolf hugs his parents and grandparents while his friends happily watch.

"Boy, am I happy this series's ending won't be so shitty anymore!" Eddy exclaims. Meanwhile, Paul finally recovers from his photo-induced trauma, and he sees Nell and her folks departing.

"Huh?... Wait, what's goin on? Is this the marriage?" Paul jumps off his seat and onto his feet:_ "Did I miss it? What happened?_ YO, GUYS!"

The iris-out starts to close in, and Paul sees this: "NO WAIT, DON'T END THE EPISODE!" Paul tries to hold the iris-out open: "I GOTTA FIND OUT WHAT JUST HAPPENED HERE!! STOP!! HOLD UP, AH-"

The iris-out overpowers Paul and closes completely!

**The End!!!**

* * *

Trivia: Hanna's badger stew is a reference to "Wish You Were Ed," where Rolf said that "badgers make a fine stew." The family name "Yonnick," who delivered Julian to Rolf's farm, is the surname of Rolf's great aunt and uncle mentioned in "The Eds Are Coming." And Turtugura's name is based on the turtle dove's Latin species name,_ turtur._


	39. Return of the Eds pt 1

Yikes! This is the latest I ever released a chapter, but it's here and ready to deliver...

... And blow away, because a certain _someone_ is returning to the spotlight in this episode.

* * *

_**Episode #20: Return of the Eds**_

* * *

The sun rises over Peach Creek, and from Eddy's room, we hear Eddy showering inside his shower stall with steam fuming from under his bathroom door. Eddy comes out wearing a towel.

"Ah, another day, another shower!" he exclaims as he closes his bathroom door. Then he hears the phone ringing in the living room.

"Eddy, could you get that?" Gladys's voice asks Eddy from the kitchen.

"Sure, Mom." Eddy rushes to the phone and picks it up: "Hello?"

_"Congratulations!"_ a man's voice says:_ "You have just won a free trip to-"_

Eddy hangs up the phone and returns to his room, dresses into his usual clothes, then pours himself a bowl of Chunky Puffs at the kitchen table as Gladys serves fried eggs and sausages to him and Roger. At that moment, the phone rings again.

"I'll get it." Eddy goes to answer the phone again: "Yo!"

_"Hello!" _a woman's voice greets._ "I'm calling about your current credit card-"_

Eddy hangs up again and returns to breakfast. When he and his parents are done, the phone rings once more, to which Roger remarks "Damn phone calls." Eddy, also showing irritation, goes to pick it up:

_"Hello!"_ a man's voice answers: _"I'm calling to give you a special offer!"_

Eddy hangs up the phone before going into the bathroom to brush his teeth, then to his room to messily stuff his school items into his backpack. After a moment of mirror-posing, he heads towards the front door to leave, but en route, the phone rings yet again.

"God, stop calling!" Eddy shouts in annoyance at the repeated calls before answering the phone: "HELLO!?"

_"Hello, Pipsqueak!"_ greets the voice of Eddy's brother, greatly shocking Eddy!

_"Br-Bro?..... Is that you?"_ Eddy asks.

_"Indeed!"_ Eddy's bro confirms:_ "I'm comin home soon! Go ahead and tell Mom & Dad if you like! Later!"_

Eddy's bro ends the call, leaving Eddy shocked and in disbelief for a few seconds before he shouts "MOM!! DAD!!"

"What is it?" Roger asks as he and Gladys rush over to Eddy.

_"Bro just called."_ Eddy tells them, and they GASP!!

* * *

A bloodmobile bus stands in front of PCH, and we see "Blood Drive" flyers throughout the hallways. Ed is with Double-D as he goes through his locker, then Eddy rushes up to them.

"Hi, Eddy!" Ed greets with his usual goofy grin.

"Oh, Eddy, you missed the bus." Double-D says. "Care to explain why?"

"Oh I'll explain alright." Eddy replies. _"My brother called my house."_

Double-D and Ed gasp, and Ed shouts "YOUR BROTHER?!"

"Yeah, my fuckin brother." Eddy says. "Dad called the police already. They've been lookin for him ever since..."

**Flashback: A snowy winter night, two-&-a-half years ago.**

**Ed, Eddy, Nazz and Jenna are watching football on TV in Double-D's living room while it snows outside. All have gotten taller, though Eddy only grew a few inches. Ed now has his hair combed like in "Over Your Ed." Eddy now grew his goatee but is still wearing his cartoon clothes, though long-sleeved since it's winter. Nazz has developed her curves and still wears her cartoon clothes, but she now has long tight sleeves like Jenna's, and Jenna has long pants like Nazz. Ed has a football, and Nazz is snuggling with Eddy as they watch the game.**

**"Come on, come on!" Eddy crosses his fingers as he watches a player dash towards the opponents' end zone. "Oh, oh!..."**

**"TOUCHDOWN!" all four jump up and cheer, with Ed joyfully slamming his football through the floor. Then Double-D comes from the kitchen with his house phone. Double-D grew his hair, and has long sleeves for winter.**

**"Eddy, it's your mother." Double-D hands Eddy the phone, and Eddy greets "Hey Ma, wassup?"**

**_"Eddy, are you watchin the news?"_ Gladys's voice asks.**

**"Not now." Eddy answers while Double-D freaks out at the floor-hole made by Ed.  
**

**_"Look on channel eight."_ Gladys tells Eddy, who grabs the remote while telling the others "I'll change it back." He changes to channel eight, the news channel. It's showing the "Orange Harbor State Penitentiary," surrounded by police cars and policemen. A newswoman explains what happened via voiceover:**

_**"At about 6 AM this morning, police noticed that Orange Harbor State Penitentiary inmate Daniel McGee wasn't in his cell. Only minutes later did they discover that the twenty-three-year-old escaped the compound, and the police have, so far, no leads on where he might be right now. Here is his picture."**_

**Danny's picture is shown, revealing that he is...**

**"THAT'S MY BROTHER!!" Eddy shouts in shock. Ed gasps, and so does Double-D as he uses the coffee table to cover the floor-hole Ed made.**

**_"Oh my God!"_ Nazz utters with a hand cupped over her mouth.**

**"That's your brother, Eddy?" Jenna asks. _"I remember him from Mondo-A-GoGo. He used to work there."_**

**"Yeah, _until he screwed with the boys and me when we went over a year-&-a-half ago."_ Eddy says._ "Yet, that's what got HIS ass screwed!"_**

**"I only hope that the authorities track him down and impound him back inside the brig where he belongs." Double-D says.**

**End Flashback**

"We need to inform the others. This is urgent." Double-D says.

"Right." Eddy and Ed agree.

* * *

Ed's history class is shared by Kevin, Jonny, Paul and May. Ed whispers Eddy's news into May's ear, and she gasps as her eyes bug out. She then leans cartoon-style into Jonny's hear to tell him. His eyes narrow intensely, then he passes the word to Paul, who is surprised. He passes it into Kevin's ear while he lazily lays his head on his desk. Upon hearing it, Kevin jumps up and yells "WHAT?!"

* * *

In Psychology class, we see Double-D, Nazz, Jenna and Rachel doing classwork. The first three are sitting next to each other in the front row while Rachel sits on the far side by the window.

_"Nazz, there's something-"_ Double-D tries whispering to Nazz, only to be hushed by a loud "Shhh!" from the teacher. So Double-D rips out a sheet of paper from his notebook, writes on it, and gives it to Nazz. She reads it, gasps, and shows Jenna, who is also surprised. Jenna takes the note, folds it into a plane, throws it at Rachel, and it lands in her flower clip. Rachel takes the note and reads it after unfolding it. Once finished, she gives Double-D a thumb-up.

* * *

Next period, Rachel has study hall with Lee, Marie, and Rolf. Rachel sits with Lee and Marie.

"Hey, Rach!" Lee greets.

"I have news for you two and Rolf." Rachel says. "Rolf, come here for a minute."

"What it be, Rachel girl?" Rolf asks as he joins the girls.

"You know when Eddy's brother escaped prison two-&-a-half years back?" Rachel asks._ "Well, he said he's coming back."_

* * *

In the gym, the blood drive is taking place, and Nazz's cousin Erin is among those who are drawing blood from the student donors. She is finishing up drawing blood from Sheranne.

"......... Ok, we're done!" Erin removes the needle and tourniquet from Sheranne's arm, then applies a bandage. "Now come rest over here for fifteen minutes."

Erin leads Sheranne to the resting area, where Erin also checks up on Nazz, who donated off-screen. "You doin ok, Nazzarine?"

"Yeah." Nazz answers. "But Erin, wait. There's somethin I need to tell you."

"What is it?" Erin asks.

"Come here." Nazz motions Erin over to whisper the news into Erin's ear. Erin is greatly shocked, but her shock quickly turns into disgust.

_"Errrrr.... Danny...."_ Erin flashes back to her time in PCH...

**Flashback: The teenage Erin walks down a PCH hallway with two female friends. Back then, Erin's hair was shoulder length but still had her red twin bangs, and she wore short-sleeved pink shirt with a sun logo, blue jeans, white sneakers, and a silver necklace with a heart-shaped locket. Erin has a worried look on her face, which concerns her friends- one is black, the other Asian.**

**"Looks like somethin's botherin you, E. You ok?" the black girl asks.**

**"I've just been wondering about Danny ever since he stopped callin me last week." Erin answers.**

**"Relax, Erin!" the Asian girl says. "All boys do that at some point. He'll call again! Just give it another day or two."**

**Then Danny's voice is heard over the intercom: _"Helllllooooo, PCH! El Hombre speaking, and I got news for you all! Actually, just for you, Erin. You see, Erin, I know you asked me out to the dance comin up on Friday, but..... yeah, I ain't takin you anymore. I know you're a sweet piece of ass, babe, but you ain't the only one. So I'm flyin solo with my boys so we don't gotta be stuck with the same chicks all night. It's high school, so I'm sure you understand! That's all for my announcement! Have a nice day, and catch me if ya can, Principal! Gyahahahahaha!!"_**

**Danny ends his announcement, and as he walks out from Antonucci's office, we see that he wore the same clothes as in BPS, minus the red jacket and he wore a cap like the one Sarah wore while impersonating him in "Ed, Pass it On." In the hallways and classrooms, everyone is shocked at his announcement, especially Principal Antonucci (who looks the same), the other school authorities, and Erin. Erin's eyes fill up with tears as she starts to cry, dropping to her knees in despair.**

**_"Erin."_ Erin's Asian friend kneels to comfort the devastated Erin, while her black friend curses Danny: _"Fuck that asshole."_  
**

_**"WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" Erin cries as she rips off her necklace and throws it into a wall. Her necklace's locket breaks open upon hitting the wall and falling to the floor, revealing a picture of her and Danny in a romantic embrace.**_

**End Flashback**

Erin sheds a tear: _"I thought we had somethin real."_ she angrily mutters.

_"Erin?..."_ Nazz looks at Erin with concern.

_"I'm ok, little cousin."_ Erin wipes her tears and turns to go. _"I have to get back to drawing blood. I'll see you later."_

* * *

Later at sunset, Sarah, Jimmy, Kyle, Zoe, and all the all the teens except Eddy, Kevin and Rachel are in the lane. Double-D & Marie and Jonny & Nazz are sitting together on the dumpster while the rest stand.

_"Is it true? Is Eddy's brother really coming back?"_ Jimmy asks in a worried tone.

"From what Sarah and Nazz told me,_ he doesn't sound too wicked."_ Zoe says in a rare showing of seriousness.

"Whatever reason he's comin back for, it can't be good." Kyle says, his and Rolf's arms crossed.

"One thing I do know is that he's definitely got revenge in mind." Lee says as Kevin arrives.

"Yo where's Eddy?" Kevin asks. "He said he'd meet us all here to discuss what to do about his bro."

Rachel answers Kevin's question as she arrives: "I saw him enter the church on my way over here."

* * *

We see the church from "From Ed to Eternity," and its name is revealed on a sign in front: "ST. VINCENT CATHOLIC CHURCH." Inside, Eddy is praying on his knees in one of the seats, his head down and his hands folded. He is alone in the church until Double-D comes in through the middle of the three front doors. He walks up to Eddy, waiting until the latter finishes his prayer. Eddy then sees Double-D:

_"Considering how you haven't been present here in ages, you must really be worried, huh Eddy?"_ Double-D asks.

"Yeah." Eddy answers. "I know how pissed off God is at me for all the stupid things I say and do, but... _now is one of those times where I really need him, y'know?"_

"I understand." Double-D says. "But never forget. _The Lord is always watching over us, our families, our friends, and everyone else._ Speaking of our friends, they're waiting for your arrival down in the lane."

"Yeah, we better get goin and talk about the plan." Eddy gets up and leaves the church with Double-D to meet up with his friends in the lane:

_"Ok guys, let's get started."_ he begins.

* * *

Later, at nighttime while watching a movie in his living room, Eddy goes to the kitchen to pop some popcorn. While his bag pops inside the microwave, the phone rings. Eddy goes to pick it up: "Hello?"

_"I'll see ya tomorrow mornin, pipsqueak!"_ Danny's voice says in a creepy tone before hanging up. After the call, Eddy takes out his cellphone and calls Rolf's house:

"Hello, Eddy!" Rolf greets.

"Rolf, start buildin the wall." Eddy tells Rolf. "I'll call the others._ We gotta be ready for morn."_

* * *

The next morning, we see that Rolf constructed a huge, rectangular wooden wall around the first cul-de-sac, similar to the one built in "Ed, Pass it On" but much bigger and higher. It has an entry gate in front, and a watchtower at each corner. Each watchtower has a chair with swiveling telescopes attached to them, and they are occupied by Jimmy, Nazz, Kyle and May. Down in the center of the cul-de-sac, we see all the others. Double-D is handing them radios and launchers he created, and for ammo, Rolf supplies them with...

"Rolf filled these balloons with Mama's volcanic pepper sauce, sure to send even the mightiest of ogres crying back to their caves!" Rolf exclaims as he supplies the sauce-filled balloons to his friends.

"Ready!" Sarah cocks her balloon launcher once it's fully loaded. Zoe does the same while exclaiming "Oooo, I'm gonna like this!"

"Let's get to our posts." Lee says as she and the others- except Double-D, Kevin and Rolf- split up to separate sides of the big wall and climb ladders leading up to lines of holes, through which they will fire their pepper sauce balloons when Danny comes. Ed and Eddy take the wall's front on opposite sides of the gate; Lee, Marie and Rachel take the right; Sarah, Zoe and Jenna take the left; and Jonny & Paul take the rear. Kevin positions himself at the manhole cover in the center of the cul-de-sac should Danny come up through the sewer, and Rolf heads back inside his house. Double-D positions himself at the gate's crank handle under Eddy's position. Meanwhile, Roger and Gladys watch from their living room window.

"Is this really necessary? I mean, we called the police." Gladys says, but Roger replies "It'll keep the audience hooked."

Up above, the watchers look around with their telescopes, and Nazz remarks "It's quiet..._ Too quiet..."_

Then Kyle calls the others via radio:_ "I see some dude comin."_

Kyle spotted a tall white man approaching the wall's gate, carrying a toolbox. He has curly, shoulder-length orange hair with sideburns and curls covering his eyes, and he wears a long gray coat covering his legs, a green cap, and brown boots. He stops by a speaker next to the gate. Double-D looks through a peephole next to the gate's crank to see the man.

"Identification, please?" Double-D asks the cloaked man through the speaker.

_"I'm the electrician that Mr. and Mrs. Blackwell called yesterday."_ the man answers, and Double-D relays this to Eddy: "It's the electrician that Jimmy's parents called, Eddy."

"Lemme see." Eddy drops down, lands on Double-D thus squishing him, and looks through the peephole. He sees the electrician: "Ok, he's too tall to be my brother. He's good, let him through."

Double-D gets up, unflattens himself, and turns the gate's crank while Eddy climbs back up to his post. The gate opens up to let the electrician in, and he slowly walks down the avenue. Everyone briefly looks at him as he slowly heads towards Jimmy's house, but Double-D gives them the thumbs-up to indicate that it's ok. As the electrician passes Kevin, he smirks, revealing that one of his teeth is blue. Kevin sees this:

_"Is it me, or does this guy remind me of Lee for some strange reason?"_ Kevin mentally asks himself, but then goes "Huh?" when the electrician stops a few steps behind him. Lee and Rachel are the next to notice:

"Why did he stop?" Lee asks, and Rachel says "Something isn't right here."

The electrician drops his toolbox, side-kicks it open, and takes out a red-banded top hat from it.

_"Hehehehe!"_ the electrician whisks his hand around the top hat's brim, then throws it to his side with a "HAH!"

All the teens and kids are alerted after the electrician throws his hat. It lands on Nazz's lawn, and out of it emerge........ ACIDS!!

"ACIDS!!" Jonny and Paul yell in alarm as Acid after Acid after Acid emerge from the "electrician's" magical hat!

"EVERYONE PUT ON YOUR MASKS!!" Eddy tells his friends via radio before calling Rolf: "ROLF!! STINK BOMB!!"

Rolf blasts the car-sized stink bomb (from "Fool On an Ed") out from his chimney ala "The Eds are Coming," and the teens and kids put on their gas masks while the Acids and the "electrician" look up at the stink bomb.

"The hell is that?" an Acid asks as the stink bomb drops down, only to get shot by an arrow-tipped dart that also neutralizes and vaporizes the stinky chemicals inside it, making the Eds go "HUH!?"

They and the others remove their gas masks, including Rolf as he goes outside to see. Then we see that the dart was fired by another man, whose arm is sticking out from the "electrician's" top hat.

_"I figured you'd use the El Mongo Stink Bomb against us, so I made a neutralizer just in case!"_ he says, with a familiar voice, from inside the top hat. Then...

_...He emerges, revealing himself as Eddy's brother, Danny!!!_ He looks largely the same, but he now has a yellow cap, and replaced his old red jacket with a white-sleeved yellow one. He's also wearing new shades.

"I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCKKKK!!!" Danny yells with his arms spread and he laughs, shocking everyone and alerting all the cul-de-sac adults. Roger and Gladys run outside while the other parents watch in horror through the windows as they see the Acid-infested cul-de-sac.

"Nice infiltration, Butch!" Danny comments the "electrician," revealed as Butch.

"It was nothin, really!" Butch replies before parting his hair to reveal his eyes, throwing off his coat to reveal a red-&-black magician suit with a black cape & red shoes, and discarding his green disguise cap for another red-banded top hat from his pocket! Lee looks at him, and remembers him from his photo in her mother's room ("My Ed for You").

_"DAD?!!"_ Lee asks in shock, and Butch looks over to her: _"So that's my little Leah, eh?!"_

All the teens and kids drop down and approach Danny and Butch with their launchers, but Jonny stops them via radio

"DON'T SHOOT; THE ACIDS GOT REAL GUNS!" Jonny warns about Danny and the Acids as he and Paul head over.

"BRO, YOU'RE A FUCKIN ACID?!" Eddy asks, and Roger asks "SO THIS IS WHAT YOU'VE BEEN UP TO, DANNY?!"

"To be truthful, _yeah Dad, it is."_ Danny answers._ "I've hid in Lemon Brook ever since I escaped the big house, cuz me and some of my friends used to hang out there after school. I met up with em, and eventually we joined the Acids. From there, I hustled my way up to leadership of ALL the Acids. In other words, I became what you guys would call a 'drug lord.'"_

"Are you fuckin kiddin me?" Eddy asks.

"If ya don't wanna believe it, Pipsqueak, then don't." Danny continues while twiddling his chin hairs: "Now where was I?... Ah!_ Anyway, me and my Acid boys already took over eight other towns, and we came here for two reasons: One, to get revenge on all you shitty little kids for what happened back in Mondo-A-GoGo. And two, to take over Peach Creek and expand my empire! But of course, since this is my hometown, I knew you guys would be on higher alert than the other towns. So I had to find a way to get in through stealth, and my boys spied around the neighborhoods every few days. Then I met Ballyhoo Butch here! His Magic Circus was goin downhill due to his losing court battles against Ursula Kanker, and he wanted to get his daughter Lee to use her to help revive his company. So we struck a deal: Butch would help me and the Acids sneak into Peach Creek, while we would help him get Lee!"_

Eds' & Sarah's parents and Jimmy's, Kevin's, Jonny's, and Rolf's dads come out of their houses in anger, and Butch casually comments "Looks like we got quite an opposition, eh Danny?"

"Me and my boys will just capture em all and make em work for us." Danny replies.

"RAH, IT'S ABOUT TIME I DID WHAT I SHOULD'VE DONE A LONG TIME AGO!!" Roger yells as he swats aside numerous Acids with his huge arms to lunge at Danny, only to have his fist caught by an equally huge Caucasian Acid.

_"Let's stuff these guys in my basement, boys."_ Danny says with a dark smile, then another Acid jumps on Roger's back and knocks him unconscious with a gun whack to the back of his head.

"DAD!!" Eddy screams and Gladys screams "ROGER!!" before charging at the attacking Acids, and before long, the entire cul-de-sac is at war! Rolf fights alongside Noah, using bone-whips to fend off Acids. Kevin's dad Peter swings an Acid at several others, while Gladys lifts the old house from "Honor Thy Ed" and SLAMS it onto several more. Double-D and Jonny fire sauce-ballons to burn Acids coming at them. Nazz does the same to two more in front of her house before backflipping from a third, then he gets knocked out when Nazz's mother Tabby whacks him with the front door by opening it. Tabby winks at Nazz. Jimmy gets disarmed but his dad James punches the Acid in the stomach, while Ed ducks to allow Sarah to jump up and blast a sauce-balloon into an Acid's face at point-blank range, making him SCREAM in pain!

"YAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Zoe crazily fires sauce-balloons at the Acids as she somersaults around Yoda-style, then Marie and Jenna bash them with their launchers. Marie then rushes to Double-D's defense when he gets disarmed, knocking out the Acid attacking him and she helps Double-D up.

"Hey, aren't you Eddy's girlfriend?" Danny asks Double-D upon noticing him.

"WHAT?! DOUBLE'S A BOY, FUCKBAG! MY BOY AT THAT!" Marie yells angrily.

_"Oh, I see! You two are lesbians!"_ Danny chuckles as Eddy tries firing a sauce-balloon at him, but he sees this and counters with a bullet from his gun. This signals the Acids who have guns to use them, destroying the balloon launchers and disarming the teens & kids. Ed, Eddy and Paul resort to physical combat while Ed's & Sarah's parents slam every Acid coming their way, with Angela showing ferocity much like Sarah's. Rachel swings Lee around so Lee can kick surrounding Acids. Another Acid shoots the ground near Jenna to separate her from the others and make her cower to her knees.

_"You a pretty one, girl!"_ the Acid says as he unzips his pants, and Jenna has a horrified look on her face until...

_"NOBODY'S RAPIN MY GIRL!"_ Kevin tackles the Acid and ties his limbs behind his back cartoon-style!

_"Kevvie!!"_ Jenna thankfully hugs and kisses Kevin. Meanwhile, the Acids start to outnumber the Peach-Creekers. Jonny's dad Phil gets bashed unconscious, followed by Tabby, then Peter, James, Angela, Stan, and Gladys!

"MOM, NOOO!!" Eddy shouts.

"WE NEED TO RETREAT! _WE'RE OUTNUMBERED!"_ Rachel shouts as she opens the manhole, motioning the others to escape through the sewers.

_"YES, GO! OBEY THE RACCOON-EYED GIRL!"_ Noah tells the kids and teens as he fends off the Acids alone.

"PAPA, DON'T!!" Rolf screams, but Kevin takes him to escape through the sewers with the others. Eddy and Lee are the last to do so, and Lee glares at the grinning Butch before descending into the sewer. Eddy angrily watches as Danny PUNCHES Noah in the head from behind to knock him unconscious, then Eddy goes down into the sewer and closes it.

"Well, Danny,_ I'm off to Ursula's place now."_ Butch tells Danny as he starts walking off.

"Alrighty, then." Danny replies, motioning several of his Acids to follow Butch while the rest capture the remaining cul-de-sac moms plus Nano and Nana.

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

Trivia: St. Vincent's Catholic Church is a reference to Double-D's voice actor, Samuel Vincent.

I also believe that Eddy's brother's name is Danny for two reasons. One, when Sarah and Jimmy impersonated him in "Ed, Pass it On," Sarah was wearing a cap with a "D" on it. Two, when Eddy's mom showed Eddy his bro's room's key in "Smile for the Ed," the keychain said "El Hombre," which is one of Antonucci's nicknames.


	40. Return of the Eds pt 2

LAST TIME ON ED, EDD N EDDY- THE TEEN SERIES: EDDY'S INFAMOUS CRIMINAL BROTHER RETURNED TO PEACH CREEK WITH THE NOTORIOUS ACIDS GANG IN TOW!! THEY STRUCK A DEAL WITH LEE KANKER'S FATHER, MAGICIAN BALLYHOO BUTCH, TO GET THEM INTO PEACH CREEK UNNOTICED WHILE THEY, IN EXCHANGE, WERE TO HELP BUTCH KIDNAP LEE FOR HIS OWN PURPOSES!! WAR BROKE OUT, AND OUR HEROES WERE FORCED TO RETREAT!! WILL THEY MAKE A COMEBACK, DEFEAT THE VILLAINS, AND SAVE PEACH CREEK?! FIND OUT NOW!!

* * *

In the sewer, the teens and kids are taking refuge from the Acids above. Eddy punches a wall in frustration while Lee is having May upchuck various stuff out of her mouth (like she did with the chicken plate in "You Are What You Ed") for the others to use as weapons, with Rachel wiping them with a cloth from her pocket before handing them out. Rachel first gets a pan for herself. Ed is given a mallet. Double-D is given an oversized sling-shot, though he's grossed out by it coming from May's stomach, and everyone else is equally grossed out (except May's sisters and Rachel). Eddy is given twin pots. Sarah and Jimmy are given a bunch of bowling balls in a bucket, with Jimmy holding them. Nazz and Kevin are given bats. Jonny is given brass knuckles. Rolf still has his bone whip, and Lee draws her swordfish from her pocket. Marie is given a steel pipe, and May provides another for herself. Paul is given a putter. Zoe is given a crowbar. Jenna is getting...

"Ew, I ain't usin some slimy-ass hockey stick from May's stomach." Jenna complains as Rachel wipes a hockey stick for her.

"It's all we got right now, so shut up and arm yourself unless you want another Acid to try raping you." Rachel silences Jenna before giving the hockey stick to her. May then upchucks a shovel, then Rachel wipes it and gives it to Kyle: "Here you go, hun."

"Thanks. I'm gonna go check the other cul-de-sac." Kyle climbs up and peeps through the manhole cover into the second cul-de-sac. Acids are also there, emerging from another of Butch's hats. Jenna's mom is being taken out of her house by Acids, and she screams her husbands name: "MANUEL!! MANUEL!!!"

"VANESSA!!" Jenna's dad Manuel beats down two Acids to try reaching his wife, Vanessa. He manages to grab Vanessa's arm, but more Acids appear and jump him. Meanwhile, several of Paul's relatives are fighting the Acids hand-to-hand as another, Paul's ex-Drupe cousin mentioned in "Ed Stroke," is shooting his gun at the gangsters from his third-floor window.

_"I'm so glad Mom's at work right now."_ Kyle says, then an Acid spots him: "HEY YOU!"

"CRAP!" Kyle goes back down to his friends: "We gotta bounce, guys."

"Why?" Nazz asks before Acids start dropping down into the sewer, then she and the others run. But Marie is grabbed and is seemingly slashed in her right eye by an Acid's knife!

"MARIE!" Double-D helps Marie fight off the Acid and they run while Sarah bowls a bowling ball at the other Acids to slow them down before she continues on. Double-D asks Marie in concern:_ "Are you alright?"_

"Yeah I'm fine! I got a glass eye!" Marie lifts the hair over her right eye, lifts up her eyepatch, and pulls out her glass right eye to show it to the bug-eyed Double-D! Marie explains: _"I poked out my original eye by accident when I was little. So you ain't the only one with a dirty little secret."_

"QUICK, TO OUR PLACE!" Lee directs the others through the sewer leading to the trailer park, then they climb up into the trailer park.

* * *

Double-D mumbles "filthy filthy filthy" as he emerges from the sewer. Marie and Kevin look around.

"No Acids here." Kevin says, and Marie points in the direction of the Kanker trailer: "Quick, this way."

At that moment, something zooms by, turns back, and stops in front of the teens and kids. It's a colorful, toy-sized Volkswagen Beetle.

"What the hell?" Paul and the others stare at the miniature car. Its driver door opens, and Butch squeezes halfway out via hammerspace! He takes off his hat to greet the teens and kids:

"Good day, ladies and gents!" he greets, shocking the teens and kids. As Butch puts his hat back on and fully emerges from the mini-car, he adds _"... And Leah!"_

"If you're hopin for me to come along quietly, it ain't happenin, Pops!" Lee says.

"Then force, it is." Butch snaps his fingers, then Acids start squeezing out of his mini-car.

"GO CALL THE COPS!" Eddy tells the Kankers as he and the others prepare to hold off the Acids and Butch.

"I'm afraid calling the police won't work." Butch says, confusing the teens and kids. "Why not, you ask? _Because the Acids took over the police station after I planted one of my many magical hats in there earlier, and they'll prevent any outside police help from there. Furthermore, I planted my other hats all over town, so there's no way you could escape us."_

"Then stand and fight, WE SHALL!" Rolf dives into battle, followed by all the others except the Kankers who dash for their trailer. Some Acids chase after the Kankers, while the others fight the teens and kids. Zoe whacks Acids' legs with her crowbar while running under them, then Kyle jumps up to whack them into more gangsters with his shovel. Jimmy provides bowling balls for Double-D's slingshot, which Sarah holds down as Double-D slings the bowling balls at the Acids, sending them into trees and trailers. Kevin and Paul cover each others' backs as they swing their respective weapons at surrounding Acids, though at one point their backs touch, causing them to turn and almost attack each other! Rachel whacks a few Acids with her pan, but it's knocked out of her hands by another Acid's gun. Rachel grabs that Acid's gun, wrestles it out of his grip, and points it at his face while giving him her trademark scary look (the same scary look she used against Paul in "Scary Squirmy Screamathon").

"OK OK, DON'T SHOOT ME! I GIVE!" the Acid fearfully surrenders.

_"If you mean that, get on your knees and say it."_ Rachel tells the Acid, who drops to his knees. But before he can repeat himself, Rachel knocks him out by kicking his face. Meanwhile, Eddy spin-swings at Butch with his pots.

"HAAH!" Eddy yells as he spin-swings, but Butch shields himself with his cape, and when Eddy's attack seems to connect, he cape somehow repels and redirects him towards Jenna, hitting and knocking her down!

"HEY EINSTEIN, I'M ON YOUR SIDE!" Jenna scolds, and Eddy realizes what Butch did: "Agh, _that bastard used magic to make me hit Jenn."_

Meanwhile, the Kankers reach their trailer and bang on the door. Ursula opens up, and sees the Acids coming for her daughters.

"Outta the way." Ursula tells her daughters, who wisely move as she whips out her giant anchor and flails it on its cord towards the Acids, taking them all out in one go and slamming them through another trailer! But as Ursula draws her anchor back...

_"Mom, Dad's here!"_ Lee alerts Ursula, who sees Butch rushing towards them. The four Kankers go into their trailer, lock the door, and board up the windows at cartoon-speed.

"Geez. _First Bubba, now fuckin Butch?"_ Ursula asks in disbelief, then Butch saws a hole through their wall. The Kankers jump back as Butch slips in.

"Allow me to fix your wall." Butch puts his saw back into his hat, then takes out a silk cloth to throw over the saw-hole and the piece of wall sawn off. He pulls the cloth back, and the wall is restored!

"Nice!" May claps, only to be elbowed by Marie. As Butch approaches the Kankers, he greets Ursula: _"Long time no see, Ursie!"_

"Don't call me Ursie. I'm not yer little pet anymore." Ursula replies. "And why come for Leah when ya didn't even want her in the first place?"

"Yeah, some father you are." Marie adds.

"I need her to help put my business back together. After all, you were talented, Ursie! And you know what they say: _like mother, like daughter!" _Butch explains: "Think about it, Leah. As my child, we'll bring Ballyhoo Butch's Magic Circus back to life!_ We'll make a fortune!"_

"Sounds more like you just wanna use me to further your own profit like the greedy fuck you really are." Lee says. _"I'm stayin here."_

"Oh, so unwise." Butch replies in disappointment, taking out a bottle of purple liquid from his pocket and pouring it into his hat

"You want Leah? Then ya gotta get through me first, Butch!" Ursula readies her anchor. _"So I suggest you get the fuck outta my trailer. Now!"_

"Gettin through you will be a pain, Ursie." Butch whisks his hand over his liquid-filled hat: "So I'll go AROUND YA!"

Butch seemingly throws the liquid out of his hat towards the Kankers, but he actually used his magic to turn the liquid into a thick smoke that fills the living room, blinding the Kankers.

"I can't see shit!" Marie shouts, then Lee shouts "TO THE KITCHEN!"

The Kankers start going in the direction of the kitchen, but then they hear Butch's cackle coming from there. May gasps.

"LEE, NO!!" May runs through the smoke to grab Lee, who was just exiting the smoke and was about to go right into Butch, who swings his cape at her. May throws Lee back into the living room just as Butch swings, but is caught by his cape herself. As the smoke clears, the other Kankers see that May is gone.

"Where's May?" Ursula asks, then from behind the Kankers, Butch answers _"Right here!"_

The remaining Kankers turn around, and see May in a wooden box on trestle legs with her head and feet sticking out. She SCREAMS as Butch takes the saw out of his hat again to cut through the box and bisect her.

"LET HER GO, YA SON OF A BITCH!!" Marie charges at Butch with her steel pipe.

"MARIE, STOP!" Ursula yells, but she's too late as Butch grabs Marie's pipe, slams her onto the box May is trapped in, then swings his cape over both of them to capture them and make the box disappear as well. Butch then lunges at Lee with his saw, but Lee parries his attacks with her swordfish. Ursula slams her anchor down, but Butch dodges her. Then Butch summons dozens of magical hats from inside his cape, and they spread throughout the trailer's first floor and stairs.

"Won't be long now!" Butch smirks before diving into one of his magical hats. He pops out of another next to Lee, but she sees and dodges him. Then Butch warps through another hat to try again, but Ursula pulls Lee away, then dodges into the bathroom as Butch makes several more attempts.

"Leah, listen up. _I know how Butch's tricks work, including this one."_ Ursula explains, but she sees Butch throw one of his hats into the bathroom. He then warps through that hat to reach for Lee, so Ursula jumps in front of her. But Butch grins and grabs Ursula's ankle!

_"Protective mothers are so predictable!"_ Butch starts pulling Ursula into the hat with him, but she tells Lee to "DESTROY THE HATS!" before biting her anchor's chain to break it from her belt, then she's completely pulled in. Following Ursula's words, Lee slices the hat Butch caught Ursula with, then she proceeds to destroy the others one-by-one between Butch's attempts to grab her through them.

* * *

Outside, Jonny is tiring out as he struggles to continue punching Acids away with the brass-knuckles he got from May. Rolf lashes his bone-whip at surrounding Acids until they shoot at him. Rolf shields himself with his bone-whip, but it gets blown apart by the bullets. Eddy is forced to hide behind a trailer while other Acids approach the tired Sarah, who was separated from Double-D and Jimmy off-screen.

"GET AWAY FROM SARAH!!" Ed goes all out with his mallet against the Acids, then takes a moment to rush with Sarah into a raided trailer, where he whacks two more Acids. But as Ed hides Sarah behind the couch, another Acid appears behind him with a gun. Ed turns around, swings his mallet...

And the others hear the gunshot, followed by Sarah screaming _"EEEEDDDDD!!!"_

_"Oh no!"_ Double-D worries and he, Eddy and Jimmy try going towards the trailer Ed and Sarah are in. But there's too many Acids.

"NO, WE'RE OUT OF BOWLING BALLS!" Jimmy panics as the Acids surround him, Eddy, Double-D, and all the others teens and kids. But at that moment...

... The Drupes make their timely arrival and start battling it out with the Acids. Jonny, who was knocked to the ground, looks up... and sees Dave, the Drupes' leader from "I Get an Ed Out of You!"

_"Dave..."_ Jonny remembers. "I can't believe I'm sayin this, _but Plank and I are glad to see you guys!"_

"Just protectin our turf from these niggas." Dave says. _"But when you told us off before about us bein no better than these fools, it wasn't til recently that we realized you were right. We cleaned up our act since then, but the Acids haven't, so we gonna teach em the hard way."_

"....... Sounds good to Plank!" Jonny gets up and re-joins the fight alongside Dave and the other Drupes. As the two gangs clash, it allows the teens and kids to get inside the trailer that Ed and Sarah are in. Another woman, wearing a black catsuit and shoes with a backpack, is bandaging Ed's injured leg on the sofa.

_"Thanks, Erin!"_ Ed thanks the black-wearing woman, revealed to be Erin. Nazz exclaims _"Erin!!"_

"About damn time you showed up!" Eddy exclaims.

"Sorry I took so long, but I was just preparing for Danny." Erin explains: "Then I heard Sarah's scream on the way over, so I followed it here. _Ed got shot in the leg,_ but Sarah said he knocked out the shooter at the same time."

"Errr.... _This wouldn't have happened if not for my damn brother."_ Eddy says angrily. "I'm goin back."

"No, don't!" Nazz worries, but Jonny holds her back: "Let him go. The Drupes got the Acids now."

"I'll go with you, Eddy." Double-D says, then Erin: "Me, too. I have a score to settle with your brother as well. The rest of you, take these." Erin passes first-aid kits from her backpack to the teens and kids.

"All this trailer park's phones were cut off, and our cellphones were damaged while fighting the Acids." Rachel says. _"So I'll go to my house and call the FBI."_

"Alright. The rest of ya, watch over Lumpy." Eddy says as he, Double-D, Erin and Rachel leave. They go back into the sewers, then Rachel splits off from the other three to follow the sewer leading to her street.

* * *

Double-D peeps up through the cul-de-sac's manhole, and sees more Drupes fighting the Acids. Double-D tells Eddy and Erin that "They're distracted, but they're exchanging fire."

Erin grabs Eddy and Double-D, then quickly dashes out of the sewer and past the gangsters' crossfire to hide in a bush near where the old house was. From there, they hear Danny chatting inside the McGee house.

"That's him." Eddy says. "And he had everyones' parents trapped in our basement."

Eddy, Erin and Double-D crawl through the grass and into Eddy's backyard, entering the house through Eddy's room. Surprisingly, Eddy's room is unoccupied by any Acids.

"Looks untouched..." Eddy observes, then he checks his closet for any stolen clothes: "Whew, nothin got stolen yet!"

"Shh..." Erin hushes Eddy, because there's four Acids in the kitchen. Erin whispers to Double-D: _"Eddy and I will take them, while you go to the basement."_

Eddy readies his pots, and Erin takes out nun-chucks from her backpack. They jumps out of Eddy's room to battle two Acids each, while Double-D sneaks past them towards the basement. He tries opening it, but it's locked.

"Damn, it's locked." Double-D looks back, seeing that Eddy and Erin defeated the four Acids. He tells them: "The basement is locked."

"Not a problem!" Eddy has found the key on one of the Acids: "Hehe, bro should've kept the key himself!"

"Eddy, we should take these." Erin takes two cartons of milk from the refrigerator. _"Given Danny's lactose intolerance, these could come in handy."_

_"Of course!"_ Eddy takes a carton and tosses the basement key to Double-D, who goes to open the basement door while Eddy and Erin head upstairs. But while going up, they're spotted by a camera positioned at the top, then an Acid appears to roll barrels down the steps. Eddy jumps over them and Erin smashes them with karate kicks. Then they both grab a barrel to toss it back up at the Acid, smashing it in his face and knocking him out. Right after the stairs, the ceiling opens up to drop an open safe in front of Eddy and Erin. It has a stink bomb with a 3-second timer inside, so Eddy freaks and quickly tosses it downstairs before it explodes. He and Erin proceed through the upstairs hallway, until the floor opens underneath Eddy, revealing a snake pit! Erin quickly pulls Eddy back before he falls in.

"Christ, now I wish my brother wasn't a whiz at booby traps." Eddy remarks. Erin, being bigger than Eddy, leaps across the snake pit, then brings out a long stick from her backpack for Eddy to grab and bring him across. The next obstacle is a series of wires attached to ceiling weights. Eddy and Erin carefully make their way through them because they're arranged so that if one wire is touched, ALL the weights will fall.

* * *

Meanwhile, Rachel peeps up from a manhole a few houses away from her home. Nearby...

"HYAH!" Zoe's dad Thomas is jumping from Acid-to-Acid to kick them in their faces, while Laurie watches from behind a pole. Thomas asks "Laurie, how many thugs did I get so far?"

"Uh... Seventy-five!" Laurie answers her husband, much to his delight!

"Wow, I haven't kicked this much ass in a long time! I'M GOIN FOR TWICE AS MUCH!!" Thomas moves to take down more Acids, allowing Rachel to zip out of the sewer and down the street at cartoon-speed. Then she hides behind a car when she sees more Acids, taking guns from a store called "BENNETT FIREARMS" to put into their car. Not liking this, Rachel readies the gun she took from the Acid she faced earlier, and fires it into the car's gas tank. This blows up the car and roasts the Acids to piles of crisp.

"Lowlifes." Rachel scoffs before continuing down the street past clashing Acids and Drupes, passing another store called "MILO'S MIRRORS" along the way. But at the intersection right before her house, a bunch of Acids block her way. They point their guns at her.

"Drop the gun and put yo hands up, woman." An Acid instructs, and Rachel drops the gun. The Acid tells her again to _"Put yo hands up."_

"Ok." Rachel starts doing so. But as she slowly puts her arms up from her sides, she suddenly pulls down her top to flash her breasts at the Acids, her back facing the screen! The Acids' eyes bug out and they drool lustfully! Then Rachel's mom Nikki pops up from behind to knock out the Acids with a 4x4 piece of wood while Rachel pulls her top back up!

"Excellent distraction, dear, but don't do it again." Nikki tells Rachel. "Now come on."

Nikki and Rachel rush up their front porch's stairs and through their front door. Rachel then rushes to the kitchen (which has a chandelier like her living room), and she grabs her house phone to dial the FBI.

* * *

Back in the McGee house, Eddy and Erin made it through the wire traps. They crouch right beside Danny's door. Erin looks at Eddy, they bob heads, and they jump into the room. Danny sits on a throne at the other end, accompanied by the giant Acid that countered Roger's attack against Danny in the previous chapter.

"Hello, brother I once believed in." Eddy snidely greets.

"Bravo, you made it through all my traps!" Danny applauds. "But I expected as much, from Erin at least."

"You think you can get away with everything you've done to us and others?" Erin angrily asks.

"Do I think I can? HA, I already have, babe!" Danny replies. "And if YOU two think you could change that, then you're just fantasizin. Big Terry here is dyin to satisfy his daily ass-kickin with you two!"

"Bring it." Eddy and Erin ready themselves. Danny snaps his fingers, and Big Terry attacks. Terry swipes his arms at Eddy, who dodges with jumps, but Terry catches Erin in his grasp. Erin quickly takes out pepper spray from her backpack to spray it in Terry's eyes, making him drop Erin as he screams and holds his eyes in pain.

_"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!"_ The enraged Terry chases Erin around while Eddy lunges at Danny with one of his pots. Danny blocks with a baton from his pocket, and he smirks before kicking Eddy away.

"EDDY, I'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS GUY!" Erin leads Terry out of the room, leaving Eddy to face Danny one-on-one.

_"Your days of crime end here, bro."_ Eddy says, taking out his second pot.

_"Looks like I gotta beat ya down again like I did back in the day, eh Pipsqueak?!"_ Danny asks, putting his shades in his pant's pocket and taking out another baton. They lunge at each other in slow-motion, and they clash weapons. Danny uses his superior experience to back Eddy into one of his stuffed camel's legs, but Eddy goes under the camel and pushes it over Danny, knocking him down. Danny throws the camel aside and Eddy jumps onto him, but Danny whacks Eddy's groin. He then whacks Eddy to the floor and attempts to kick him, but Eddy rolls back and gets up. Eddy prepares to swing one of his pots again, but Danny swaps one of his batons for his gun to shoot the pot out of Eddy's hand. But before Danny can shoot the other pot away, Eddy throws it at Danny. Danny whacks it away, but that was a distraction so Eddy can leap up and give Danny a good punch to the face, sending Danny flying out through his doorway and into the hallway wall, cracking it! As Danny recovers, Eddy wrestles the baton out of his hands, so Danny takes out his other baton. They clash batons and dodge kicks as they go into their parents' room. Danny whacks Eddy into the mirror, breaking it. Danny swings again, but Eddy jumps back onto their parent's bed. Then Danny throws the broken mirror shards at Eddy, but Eddy dodges them and they instead hit the wall.

"You're buyin Mom and Dad a new mirror." Eddy tells his brother.

"Only if you defeat me, and that ain't gonna happen!" Danny replies as he aims his gun at the ceiling and shoots it repeatedly. Eddy wonders why at first, but then he sees that Danny shot out a piece of the ceiling to make fall towards Eddy. Eddy grabs the piece of ceiling and throws it at Danny, but Danny jumps over it and tries kicking Eddy, who jumps off the bed to dodge. Danny then bounces off the bed and up through the hole into the attic. Eddy bounces up after him to continue their battle.

* * *

In the Kanker trailer, Lee continues to elude Butch as he warps in-&-out through his magical hats, several of which Lee has already destroyed via her swordfish.

"Hmm, you've cut down quite a few of my hats." Butch comments Lee. "However..."

Lee swings down her swordfish to cut another of Butch's hats, but Butch's hand pops out, grabs her swordfish, and flings it out the window. A bug-eyed Lee looks at Butch.

"You can't take out any more hats as long as I got an eye on em!" Butch says, having changed strategy by sticking one of his arms through his main hat (the one he wears) and out through the other remaining hats to try grabbing Lee. He catches Lee by her wrist using this method, but Lee kicks the hat away to break his grip.

"You're smart. I'll admit that." Lee comments her father while dodging his hat grabs. As she dodges, she accidentally steps inside one of the hats and nearly trips over, but then she notices her same foot sticking up through Butch's main hat for a split second before she pulls it back down and out the hat she stepped into!

_"Thats it!"_ Lee mentally tells herself, then she reaches for and grabs Ursula's detached anchor from their bathroom. She flails Ursula's anchor by its chain at the sofa to knock it towards Butch. While he gets knocked down by the sofa, Lee grabs one of his hats and puts it in her pocket, runs into the kitchen, takes a reflective steel bowl from a cabinet, then hides behind the counter. She lays the steel bowl in front of her, using its reflection to see Butch getting up in the living room.

"Nice try, Leah, but you can't hide forever!" Butch calls out while holding his main hat in his hands. _"Don't you wanna join your mother and sisters whom I captured inside my magic bag? Do you really want to live in this shitty old trailer all your life? All four of you could have your lives turn for the better if you join me and my company! It ain't too late to reconsider!"_

_"I already told ya, Dad."_ Lee says, laying the magical hat she took earlier in front of her. She raises Ursula's anchor: _"I'M STAYIN HERE!!"_

Lee slams her mother's anchor down through through the magical hat she took, and Butch looks in bug-eyed surprise as the anchor comes up through his main hat... And BAMMM, it hits Butch right in the face, sends him flying upwards through the trailer's roof, then he falls back down from the sky! He lands on his back on the "Park-n-Flush" sign, which breaks his back and knocks him out cold while the Drupes and Acids continue fighting below.

* * *

Meanwhile, all the cul-de-sac parents were freed, and are now fighting alongside the Drupes to drive the Acids back. As Roger and Gladys help Erin against Terry in the McGees' backyard, a hole is blown through their roof. Danny, whose jacket and hat are ripped up, jumps out through the hole from the attic, wielding a torchiere. Eddy, who also has ripped clothes and still has the baton he took from Danny, jumps out as well to chase Danny up the roof. They continue clashing weapons at the top.

"HOW COULD YOU SINK SO LOW, BRO?!" Eddy asks angrily as they clash. "YOU WERE MY IDOL! I LOOKED UP TO YOU! YET, YOU ALWAYS TOYED WITH ME AND NEVER GAVE ME ANY RESPECT! YOU NEVER GAVE MOM OR DAD RESPECT! YOU NEVER GAVE RESPECT TO ERIN, OR TO ANYONE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER!! AND NOW THIS!!?"

"RESPECT?! HAHAHAHA!!" Danny laughs. _"That's what my lifestyle gave me!"_

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YA TALKIN ABOUT?!" Eddy asks before Danny trips him, causing him to drop his baton and it tumbles down to the back porch.

"Everything I did earned me respect!" Danny says as Eddy gets up, but Danny whacks him down the roof. _"I bullied and beat up others, but out of the resulting fear, it earned me respect!"_

Danny whacks Eddy further down the roof, forcing Eddy to hang onto the edge above the porch. Danny slides down: _"I destroyed the school and other shit, but that earned me respect!"_

Danny stomps Eddy's hand, making him scream in pain and he falls off the roof's edge down to the porch below. Danny then tells Eddy: _"And all my drug and street business? It ALL earned me RESPECT!!"_

Danny leaps down and lands hard on Eddy's back, making him gag out spit, then Danny kicks him through one of the porch's chairs.

"And if you think about it, I got all the respect you always wished you had." Danny gloats as he slowly approaches the exhausted Eddy, who's seemingly unable to get up. "I'll tell ya what, Eddy:_ if you join me, I'll never fuck around with you again. I'll respect ya and treat ya like an equal. And together, we'll be unstoppable and EVERYONE will respect us!! What do you say?"_

At that moment, Eddy sees the baton knocked out of his hand earlier. He looks at Danny to answer him: _"No.... FUCK YOU, DANIEL!!"_

Eddy swiftly grabs the baton and swipes it at Danny's feet, tripping Danny and making him drop the torchiere. Eddy jumps onto Danny and they wrestle around on the floor until Danny grabs Eddy's baton and flings him into the porch's table, knocking off its parasol. Eddy uses the parasol to shield himself when Danny throws the baton at him, then Danny grabs the torchiere again. He whacks the parasol away to uncover Eddy, but Eddy isn't there...

_"YAAAAHHH!!!"_ Danny hears Eddy behind him. He turns around, only to see Eddy SMASH a porch chair into his face in slow-motion and send him through the porch's wooden rail-bars, in which his head gets stuck on the other side.

"AGH!" Danny tries pulling his head out, but Eddy races to the side his head is stuck on. Eddy takes out the milk carton Erin gave him, opens it, and holds Danny by the neck to hold the open carton right by his mouth! Danny's eyes bug out: _"You... You wouldn't dare!"_

_"Give it up. It's over, bro."_ Eddy declares.

"Eddy!" Gladys's voice calls, then Eddy sees his parents and Erin come over. They defeated Terry off-screen and Terry is seen knocked out on the ground, a tree having been apparently smashed over his head.

"Ah, looks like Eddy did my work for me!" Roger comments upon seeing Danny at Eddy's mercy. "Good job, son!"

Danny grins sheepishly as Eddy, their parents and Erin glare at him. Erin goes to grab the torchiere, and she approaches Danny with it.

_"Wait! No hard feelings, right Erin?!"_ Danny asks as if for mercy: _"Mom?... Dad? Come on guys, let's talk about this!"_

"Oh we'll talk, Danny. Through action." Erin answers with a dark look on her face: _"Because actions speak louder than words."_

And with that, Erin raises the torchiere, swings it at Danny, and WHAMMM!!!

* * *

Later at the cul-de-sac corner, after Rolf's giant wall has been taken down off-screen, Lee unties and opens a small burlap bag, releasing her sisters and mother from inside via hammerspace.

"Yuck! Lee, your dad's magic bag smells like walrus inside." comments the grossed-out Marie as she, Ursula and May squeeze out. Ursula asks "Where's Butch?"

"Over there!" Lee points to several FBI officers and their cars, where several Acids are being forced into the cars. The handcuffed Butch is also being taken to one of the cars.

_"To believe that the famous Butch Hughes would actually acquaint himself with gangsters to kidnap his offspring? Unbelievable."_ an FBI officer scoffs. Butch looks at Lee one more time, and she waves goodbye as Butch is forced into an FBI car.

_"Good riddance."_ Ursula says. Then the Kankers, Rachel and Nikki watch along with the other teens, kids and parents of both cul-de-sacs (except Double-D's who are absent like always) as the handcuffed Danny is taken to another car by two officers. Danny's face is heavily bruised and black-eyed from Erin's beating. Erin is currently watching alongside Nazz and Tabby.

_"That's him, Mom."_ Kyle points out Danny for his mother, Becky, who looks at Danny and asks "Didn't he used to work at Mondo-A-GoGo?"

"We've been lookin for you for a looong time, McGee!" one of the FBI officers tells Danny as they throw him into their car. _"You're goin to a top-security federal prison with the other top Acids and Butch."_

"SEE YA IN A HUNDRED YEARS, BRO!!" Eddy waves farewell to his brother, who scornfully looks at him one last time before the FBI drive him, Butch, and the other top Acids away. After they go, Jonny leaves his parents to meet Dave and a few Drupes near the lane.

_"Well, we won't be seein the Acids again, at least not for a while!"_ Jonny says, then listens to Plank: "..... Plank wants to know if we're good with each other now. Are we?"

_"Yeh! See ya around, homie!"_ Dave bumps fists with Jonny, then he and the other Drupes leave. meanwhile, Double-D and Ed, who's using crutches, approach Eddy. Eddy asks "You doin ok, Ed?"

"Yeah." Ed answers. "The gunshot isn't too serious. The medics said it'll heal in two or three weeks!"

"So Eddy, now that you've defeated the man who misled you and brought him to justice, what will you do now?" Double-D asks.

_"I'm gonna be a bigger, better person than my brother ever was!"_ Eddy answers, to which Roger comments "That's my boy!"

* * *

Meanwhile, two Caucasian men look at Peach Creek from a clifftop. One man has combed black hair, a prominent chin, and wears a navy-blue business suit over a white shirt, a red-&-black necktie, and black shoes. The other is skinny, has curly brown hair, and wears a beige suit.

"Is this town the site you have chosen, sir?" The skinny businessman asks.

"Yes, it is." the other businessman answers, then he grins widely: _"The future site of our new facility!"_

**The End!!!

* * *

**

Trivia: Big Terry is named after the show's voice director, Terry Klassen, who also voiced Eddy's brother in BPS. The "Bennett Firearms" store is named after Cle Bennett, my ideal voice actor for Paul! And "Milo's Mirrors" is named after Candi Milo, my ideal voice actress for Zoe! Also, credit goes to Bookworm2k9 for inspiring the "Jenna getting nearly raped" and "Ed getting injured" ideas.

But who are those two guys that appeared at the end of this episode, you ask? You'll have to wait a few more episodes to find out. In the meantime, stay tuned for next week's episode!


	41. Here Today, Ed Tomorrow pt 1

Hey, guys! Thanks for the reviews and PMs praising my last two episodes as my best, but to be honest, I don't know if my next few episodes will be able to live up to "Betroth-Ed" and "Return of the Eds." But with the end of the Teens Series approaching, I'm doing my best with my final episodes.

* * *

_**Episode #21: Here Today, Ed Tomorrow**_

* * *

It's nighttime, and in Eddy's room, Double-D stands beside Eddy's bed as the latter throws out stuff from under it. Eddy groans in frustration.

"Damn, I know it's here somewhere. Maybe Mom misplaced it again." Eddy says in aggravation.

"Dare I ask, for what item are you rummaging under your bed for?" Double-D asks.

"Found em!" Eddy half-emerges from under his bed with a pair of bowling sneakers: "I was lookin for these, Sockhead! I need em for tomorrow noon."

"Tomorrow... _noon?..."_ Double-D asks, emphasizing noon. "You do know that we'll be being educated during noon tomorrow, right? Because tomorrow is a Friday and thus, a school day."

"We won't be in school, because tomorrow is Senior Skip Day!" Eddy replies as Ed comes in, carry two bags: "Yeah Double-D, we're all doin it!"

Double-D is surprised by Ed: "Ed, _you're_ skipping? But your need for education surpasses the importance for the rest of us!"

"I know, but if I don't go along, we won't have a plot." Ed replies.

"Thatta boy, Ed!" Eddy jumps onto Ed and takes one of the bags, using the bag to put his shoes and a bunch of clothes inside. He then leads Ed out while telling him "I'll show ya what you'll need for tomorrow."

Double-D is left alone in Eddy's room.

"Hymph, I almost pity them. There they go, frolicking off as they please without a care in the world." Double-D says, leaving through Eddy's back door. _"But I, on the other hand, have no intentions to waste a single day's worth of academic experience."_

* * *

The next morning, Double-D is asleep in his bed, but he remains asleep for a while even after the sun has risen up. Then his alarm clock finally rings.

"Happy dawn, world!" Double-D greets as he gets up to turn off his clock's alarm. But upon turning it off, he sees the time: "ELEVEN-THIRTY AM!?"

"Rise n shine, pointdexter!" Eddy greets from Double-D's open door.

_"Outta my way! I missed breakfast and I'm late for school!"_ Double-D shoves Eddy aside as he frantically rushes into the bathroom to shower. He washes himself at cartoon-speed, but after coming out in his bathrobe...

"Hold it there!" Eddy puts his hand out to stop the still-running Double-D in the hallway: "Don't bother. It's pointless goin this late."

Double-D smacks Eddy's hand away and points an accusing finger at him: _"YOU reset the time on my alarm clock, didn't you?"_ Double-D asks suspiciously.

"Ok, you got me there." Eddy admits. "But dude,_ you really gotta loosen up and have fun once in a while_. Besides, you were already out sick back in March, so you ain't gettin no Perfect Attendance Award."

Double-D shouts "You don't understand. Acadamics take top prio-"

"Chilax, Double-D! Come downstairs and look at this." Eddy brings Double-D down to the living room, where news reporter Linda Simensky (who previously appeared in "From Ed to Eternity") appears on TV in front of Peach Creek High:

"Here we are at the Peach Creek High campus, where there are no seniors in attendance." Simensky reports: "According to the school administration,_ all 250 students of the senior class have skipped out today, a first in the school's history."_

"Now, tell me that bein the only senior at school today wouldn't be lonely." Eddy tells Double-D.

_"I can't believe it... Every... single... one?... Even Nazz and Jenna?"_ Double-D asks in bug-eyed shock. _"But how could the entirety of the senior class have skipped?"_

"It was planned, obviously. Don't know by who, but the word spread. And yes, even Nazz and Jenn!" Eddy presses Double-D's face on the front window to show the sunny day outside: "Not even Nazz and Jenn would skip out on a perfect day like this!"

Ed comes in from the kitchen, eating a grinder and wearing a bowling shirt similar to Eddy's, but with short sleeves and colored pink instead of yellow.

"And Jenn took her dad's old minivan to spend today and the weekend with Kevin at Pomelo Beach." Ed explains.

_"For some loooone time!"_ Eddy adds, raising his eyebrows suggestively. "Now excuse me a moment, Ed!"

Eddy goes out the front door, then Double-D turns to Ed: "So Ed. If word of the senior skip was spread and eventually reached you and Eddy, then who's the one that told you two?"

"Uhhhh..." Ed takes a moment to remember: "Eddy told me, and he learned it from Paul. I think..."

Thank you very much, Ed!" Double-D thanks, dressing into his usual clothes off-screen before heading outside. "I'm off to find Paul- HEY!!"

"Yeah, we're borrowin your van for a little while." Eddy tells Double-D as he backs Double-D's retro van out of the driveway.

"HEY, DOUBLE-D!!" Lee and May pop out to wave at Double-D. They're also wearing bowling shirts that are respectively yellow and pink, and May did her hair into a long ponytail.

Double-D protests "ALL OF YOU EXIT MY VEHICLE THIS INSTANT! I GAVE YOU NO PERMI-"

Double-D then gets trampled mid-sentence by Ed as the latter rushes with his bag (the one he had at the episode's start) to join Eddy, Lee and May in the van.

"BOWLING ALLEY, AWAYYYY!!" Ed shouts excitedly as Eddy drives off with him, Lee and May, leaving a battered Double-D to give chase in futility, and he's quickly left in the dust. He drops and coughs in the cloud of exhaust smoke, and as it clears...

_"There you are, cuddle-muffin!"_ Marie walks up to Double-D, grabs his arm, and yanks him onto his feet. "We're goin to the diner!"

Marie takes Double-D with her to her mother's pickup truck, which she is borrowing. Double-D asks "Wait, Marie. Is your mother ok with you driving her pickup truck?"

"She knows." Marie answers as she throws Double-D into the passenger seat, then she gets into the driver's seat to start the vehicle. "Me and Lee both got licenses, so Mom lets us drive whenever she ain't usin it. Now buckle up."

Marie drives the pickup truck down the street at a fast speed, passing Jonny along the way as he rides on his motor scooter. Jonny is also wearing a yellow bowling shirt. Marie then makes a sharp turn onto Main Street, making Double-D jerk in his seat.

"Marie, I don't mean to be impolite, but could you please drive a bit more smoothly?" Double-D asks, and Marie replies "No worries, we're goin straight from here."

Main Street widens as Marie and Double-D come to an intersection with stoplights. Then a car-horn beeps from their right, and they see that it's Rachel in her car. Rachel did her hair into a ponytail similar to Marie's.

"HEY, RACH!" Marie calls out. "WHERE YA GOIN?!"

"THE DINER!" Rachel answers.

"WANNA RACE?!" Marie asks with a devious grin. Rachel answers with the same expression, and she revs her car! This surprises Double-D, and he utters_ "Ohhh cr-"_

The stoplights turn green, and Marie and Rachel zoom down the street, picking up speed as they go! While Marie and Rachel smirk at each other as they pass each other repeatedly, Double-D SCREAMS dramatically as he's forced back against his seat by Marie's driving speed. By the time they and Rachel reach the diner, called "DeLisle's Diner," Double-D cartoonishly melts into liquid and spills out of his seat when Marie opens the door for him.

* * *

Inside DeLisle's, Double-D, Marie and Rachel are eating together. Double-D is having a French-based lunch, Marie's is Dutch-based, and Rachel's is Irish-based. All have lattes as their drinks.

"You ok, Double-D?" Marie asks, and Rachel adds "Yeah, you didn't take one bite yet."

"Sorry, it's that I'm still reeling from the extreme acceleration you two engaged in." Double-D explains. _"And Rachel, I never thought you'd ever do anything like that. And the face you made when you did so. Both were..."_

_"Out of character?"_ Rachel guesses, and Double-D answers "... Yes."

_"You really don't know Rachel, do ya?"_ Marie tells Double-D as she eats.

"Emphasis on that." Rachel agrees, then tells Double-D "Believe it or not, Lee, Marie and I challenge each other quite often, and so do Sean, Bill and Dean."

"Huh?" Double-D asks. _"I never would've thought, because I believed that you and those boys would... detest that form of activity. I always saw you four as... well, you would be offended."_

_"You always saw us as goths."_ Rachel assumes after sipping her latte.

_"... Sort of."_ Double-D answers.

_"Well, just because we're 'goth' doesn't mean we constantly obsess about death, worship Satan, hang out in cemeteries, and basically hate everything."_ Rachel explains:_ "All of that crap is nothing more than stereotyping bullshit, kinda like how this one prick said I always eat potatoes because I'm Irish. Us 'goths' are completely normal people like everyone else. We 'goths' laugh and joke around like everyone else, and hell, we even laugh at ourselves. Us 'goths' believe in all kinds of religions like everyone else. I'm Catholic, and Dean is Jewish. And us 'goths' also have tons of interests and fashion tastes like everyone else. Bill, Dean, Sean and I came together because we listen to the same kind of music, we read and discuss literature, and we like the colors black & purple. And to tell the truth, we don't really like being called 'goths' either. But since some people are stubborn assholes who'll always call us that, plus other names like 'emos,''vampires' and 'corpses,' we just settled for 'goths' because we find it less offensive."_

_"Gee, that... really shed some light for me."_ Double-D says.

"Hey, you learn something new every day!" Rachel replies. "Now let's hurry up and finish lunch, or brunch in your case."

Once lunch is finished, the three head outside. As they go, Double-D sees what appears to be a telescope sticking out of a bush at the corner of his eye. He stops and turns to it, but the telescope retracts into the bush.

"Will you excuse me a minute, ladies." Double-D asks Marie and Rachel, who are heading towards Rachel's car.

"Sure! We need to smoke anyway." Marie answers as she and Rachel light cigarettes in front of Rachel's car. Double-D goes up to the bush...

_"Back up, DD! Go away!"_ Paul's voice mumbles from inside the bush.

"Paul?..." Double-D recognizes Paul's voice, then Paul's arm reaches out and pulls Double-D into the bush with him, where Paul has his telescope.

_"You tryna blow my hidin spot, man?"_ Paul asks as Double-D notices his telescope. _"I'm dead if Ray Ray spots me."_

_"What?... After everything Ed, Eddy and I did to assist you with suppressing your perversion back in January, you're up to your old dirty shenanigans again? And with Rachel of all people?"_ Double-D asks._ "You remember what happened when you peeped on her in seventh grade, don't you?"_

"I ain't peepin on her or Grungy Blue if that's what yer thinkin." Paul explains as he looks at the smoking Rachel: _"I'm followin Ray Ray around in secret as part of my experiment."_

_"Experiment?"_ Double-D asks in confusion.

"I been studyin Ray Ray since Monday." Paul explains, showing a notepad to Double-D: _"I'm observin her and writin down her hobbies, likes, favorites, everythin. No I ain't some creepy stalker or pedo or nothin, and I don't wanna go back to bein some bitchass perv either. Everyone hated me for it, especially Ray Ray. But she's just so fuckin hot n classy, y'know? She a white girl with a Puerto Rican ass and tits that ain't too flat or huge. I couldn't help myself, and my horniness... It got the best of me..."_

**Flashback: We see the 13-year-old Paul inside an empty locker in the PCJH girls' locker room. He giggles as he watches Rachel, who has her hair in a ponytail and is wearing a gray tanktop, purple sweatpants, and black-&-white converses.**

**_"Oh yes!"_ Paul whispers with pervy glee as Rachel removes her tanktop, revealing a black bra! Paul giggles _"Geeheeheeheeheehee!!..."_**

**"Huh?" Rachel hears his giggling and looks around, but since it's too vague, she shrugs it off and continues undressing by removing her sneakers.**

**_"Ooohhhh!!"_ Paul arousal builds up as Rachel begins to pull down her sweatpants. _"Oh God, yes! Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes!!"_**

**But Paul only gets a glimpse of Rachel's pink-&-purple panties before she pulls her sweatpants back up, for she has heard Paul. She reaches for the locker he's in, and she opens it!**

**_"AAAAAAAAHHHH!!"_ both scream, and the very angry Rachel yells _"YOU SICK PERVERT!"_ as she grabs Paul by his shirt!**

**"OH SHIT!" Paul quickly frees himself and tries to run, but Rachel tears the door off the locker Paul was in to throw it at him, knocking him into the wall and he bounces back towards Rachel's feet! _He sees Rachel standing above him with a dark, scary look on her face, frightening him and he starts sweating in fear!_**

**_"Oh please, Ray Ray! I'm sorry!"_ Paul begs for mercy, but Rachel grabs his ankle. The Kankers come in and see what Rachel is about to do to Paul, but we only see their shadows on the wall. Paul SCREAMS as Rachel flips him over and holds him by the ankle. The rest goes unseen, but we hear a ripping sound, and the Kankers smile in amusement as Paul SCREAMS and SCREAMS!!**

**End Flashback**

_"That day still haunts me, and Ray Ray still scares me shitless."_ Paul shudders. _"But I wanna change that. I wanna make it up to her and show her I changed. That's why I'm studyin her. You feel me?"_

"I see, Paul, but-" Double-D is cut off when Marie calls for him: "YO CREAM-PUFF, WE'RE GOIN!"

"COMING!" Double-D answers, but remembers to ask Paul something: "Oh Paul, um... _Who informed you of the senior skip?"_

"I believe... _Country Boy."_ Paul answers.

"Thank you! _Now you just be careful with Rachel._ That's all I can say." Double-D tells Paul before leaving the bush to rejoin Marie as she and Rachel get into their vehicles. "My apologies. An intriguing insect caught my eye."

"I'll see you two at at the party tonight!" Rachel says as she closes her car door.

"What? We're... _You're attending a party?"_ Double-D asks in surprise.

"Wow, Double-D. _It really seems you don't know people as well as you think you do."_ Rachel says. _"Yes, I'm attending Nazz's party. Even I need to get loose every once in a while."_

"See ya, Rach!" Marie waves goodbye as she back out of her parking spot and drives off with Double-D, who asks "Marie?"

"Yes, sweetie?" Marie asks.

"Will you drop me off at Rolf's? I must speak with him." Double-D says.

* * *

Meanwhile, at a bowling alley called "SAMPSON'S SILVER LANES," the yellow-wearing Eddy, Lee, Nazz and Jonny are bowling against the pink-wearing Ed, May, Steve and Christine.

"SPARE!" Ed shouts after scoring a spare.

"Eight out of ten." Jonny says after he bowls his frame.

"Ok, so that brings your score to 102." Eddy says as he grabs his ball. "My turn!"

Eddy bowls, and he scores a strike. His team cheers, and as Nazz goes up to bowl, Lee tells Eddy's score: "135, munchkin! We're winnin right now!"

"Not for long, guys! We got Turkey Sandwich Ed on our side!" Steve points to Ed who's sitting as he awaits his turn, with May massaging his shoulders while Christine bowls.

"Heh, you'll need more than him to beat me, McCrankin Eddy!" Eddy boasts while posing, then Nazz approaches him from behind after tagging Lee to bowl. "Wassup, Nazz?"

"Eddy, you remember to buy the drinks for my party, right?" Nazz asks.

"Yeah, _I'm buyin a whole bunch at Francis Wines & Liquors."_ Eddy answers. "It's all good!"

"Oh and Ed, Rolf wants over at his place once we're done with our game here." Nazz informs Ed.

"Got it." Ed affirms as he steps up again to bowl after May finishes. We see from the pins' perspective as he bowls, knocking all the pins for a strike and they fly into the screen, blacking it out.

**To be Continued...**

* * *

Trivia: DeLisle's Diner is named after Grey DeLisle, my ideal voice actress for Rachel! And Double-D, Marie and Rachel respectively getting French, Dutch and Irish meals there are references to what I see as their ethnicities: Double-D being French (or partly at least), Marie plus the other Kankers being Dutch (again, at least partly) because "Kanker" is Dutch for "cancer," and Rachel is Irish. Sampson's Silver Lanes is named after Eddy's voice actor, Tony Sampson, and Ed's & Eddy's bowling aliases are based on terms from bowling jargon. Francis Wines & Liquors is named after Andrew Francis, my ideal voice actor for Kyle!

And also, thanks to CasaNova73099 for helping me out with this episode, particularly with Ed's fourth-wall break!


	42. Here Today, Ed Tomorrow pt 2

Definitely my latest chapter here, due to me being busy shopping for Mother's Day gifts, but Episode 21 is done (rhyme intended)!

Warning: This chapter has an intimate scene that may be unsuitable for some audiences.

* * *

At Rolf's farm, Rolf comes from his kitchen with a bucket strapped on top of his head and a collar & leash in one hand. He uses his other hand to whistle for...

"Rolf calls for your duty, Meggy." Rolf tells Meggy after whistling for her to come over. She stops in front of Rolf, who puts on her collar: "Sniff out truffles you must, as Rolf will need them in making the cuisine for Nazz girl's household soiree."

Meggy snorts as Rolf attaches her leash, then Ed comes in through the gate from Rolf's front yard, wearing his work attire and putting on his boots as he rushes towards Rolf, falling as he hurries to put on his boots. He calls: "I'M HERE, BOSS!"

"Your arrival is well-timed, Pheasant Tail! Since Mama lost her wig overnight, Rolf needs you in her stead." Rolf directs Ed to a huge stack of barrels near his shed, then drops a bunch on Ed. _"Your job is to transport all these barrels of fruity produce into Rolf's kitchen and process them all for Nazz's party refreshments."_

"Aye aye, Captain!" Ed salutes after climbing out of the barrels Rolf dropped on him. Shortly afterwards, Double-D comes through the farm gate.

"Excuse me, Rolf. A moment of your time, I ask?" Double-D asks as he approaches Rolf.

"How may Rolf assist you?" Rolf asks after halting Meggy.

"I must know of the person who informed you of the senior skip." Double-D explains: "That way, I can trace the word back to whoever orchestrated this mass truancy."

"Is that so, he who doesn't seem to approve of his fellow upperclassmens' actions!" Rolf asks while chuckling: "Heh, Rolf doubts you'll find the one who planned this day! But if you really must know, _Rolf caught word from blond bombshell Nazz girl._ Now excuse me, Rolf must commence his truffle hunt with Meggy."

Rolf goes off with Meggy while Double-D heads in the opposite direction towards Nazz's house. Ed sees him leaving the farm while carrying barrels into Rolf's kitchen: "Where ya goin, Double-D?"

"Nazz's house to see if she's there." Double-D answers.

"She isn't." Ed tells Double-D. "Nazz and Jonny went to buy some stuff for her party."

"If that's the case..." Double-D takes his cellphone out of his pocket to call Nazz. But Nazz doesn't pick up, and instead:

_"Sorry, I can't answer your call right at this moment, so just leave me your name and a message after the beep, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can."_ Nazz's voice says, prompting Double-D to try again, but she still doesn't answer the call, because she's driving her SUV. Jonny sits shotgun with his scooter in the back.

"Nazz, your phone's ringin. Why don't cha pick it up?" Jonny asks.

"Not til we get to the store. Calls distract me and I don't wanna crash." Nazz answers. Meanwhile, Double-D leaves a message: _"This is Double-D, Nazz. Contact my residence as soon as possible. I'll be waiting."_

* * *

Double-D returns home, goes up to his room, and tries to kill the time by gathering some scraps on his desk to try making a new invention out of them. But he cannot, and he drops his face onto the desk.

"I can't believe I've skipped school, an intolerable act in Mother's and Father's book. What if they find out?" Double-D worries, growing increasingly frantic and his heart starts pounding as he paces around his room: _"Hopefully they'll understand, and maybe they won't mind me missing one day!... No, no they would not. Father will take away my labeler. Perhaps I could tell Mother, but wait that's a terrible idea. She can't keep a secret if she tried. Maybe I'll tell them Eddy reset my clock, but then chances are they wouldn't want us to associate anymore due to negative influence. Think, Double-D... I got it! I'll tell them that I contracted another illness from yesterday. But then again, I'd be lying to them. How could I lie to my own parents? That's inhumane!"_

Before his panic progresses further, the phone downstairs rings: "That must be Nazz!" Double-D zips downstairs to reach the phone, and sees "Nazz Van B." on the caller ID. But just as he grabs the phone...

"There you are, Sockhead!" Eddy's arm reaches for Double-D, grabs his shirt, and pulls him off-screen, causing him to drop the phone on the floor. Eddy takes Double-D out through the front door, while Nazz asks for Double-D on the phone:

_"Hello?... Double-D, what happened?"_ Nazz asks. _"...Hellooo?"_

"Eddy, release me!" Double-D tries in vain to break from Eddy's grasp.

"I need your help bringin the party drinks, and I'm talkin about a whole shitload of em!" Eddy explains.

* * *

As the sun sets, the teens start getting ready for Nazz's party. Nazz is doing her hair in her bathroom. Paul is putting on a red shirt with long white sleeves to go with his blue jeans and white sneakers, then he reaches for a red cap on one of his bedposts. We see a close-up of Rachel's lips as she applies pinkish-purple lipstick. Lee puts on black shades. The shadowy Ed sprays himself with cologne. Lastly, Plank is shown wearing a beanie similar to Jonny's, but is green-&-white-striped instead of blue. Jonny's arm reaches for him.

"Here we go, buddy!" Jonny's voice exclaims as he and Plank set off to Nazz's house.

* * *

At Nazz's party, teens watch as Nazz and May do a choreographed dance to the song "Bad Romance." Nazz did her hair into downward-facing pigtails, and she's wearing a bright green tubetop, black jeggings, bright green converses, a bright green cotton hat, and fingerless black gloves reaching halfway to her elbows (overall, this outfit resembles a more grown-up version of Zoe's). May still has her hair in a ponytail, and is wearing a puffy-sleeved pink shirt with a white clam logo, blue jeans, black converses, and bracelets on her right wrist.

"GET IT, NAZZ!" Jonny cheers while Ed goes "WHOO!" for May. Jonny is showing his afro and is wearing a black shirt, green camo pants, and black sneakers. Ed is wearing a buttoned, long-sleeved, black-lined white shirt with black jeans and the same sneakers he usually wears.

"Nazz, where's Jenn?" May asks Nazz as they dance. "Didn't she learn this with us in dance class?"

"She went out with Kevin." Nazz answers. "I wonder what they're doin right now."

The song "Rock With You" plays as the camera shifts to the other side of the living room, where Eddy is using Nazz's computer while Lee, Marie, Paul and a few others watch. Eddy is wearing a short-sleeved blue-&-orange plaid shirt over a white t-shirt, blue jeans, white sneakers, and a blue-&-orange cap. Lee's hair is styled like Wilma Flintstone's, and along with her aforementioned shades, she's also wearing a zipped purple vest, blue jeans with a brown belt (instead of her usual pink belt), and heeled brown boots. Marie is wearing a gray-&-black-striped tanktop, a dark red skirt with a black belt (also instead of her usual pink one), 3/4-length black leggings, the same converses she always wears, and a dark red cap instead of her usual green one.

"HAHAHA, Kevin's the man!" Eddy exclaims as he communicates with Kevin via online chat (shown in bold). Kevin typed: **"Jenn's dancin around in her undies right now, and I'm about 2 get in bed with her in a little bit ^O^"**

_"Uh-oh, CK's gon' get some Venezuelan pussy, nigga!"_ Paul exclaims as Eddy types and sends:** "Wat manueverz u gonna do on her?"**

**"I'll think of somethin when I reach climax!"** Kevin types back.

"Hey Marie, did you and Double-D hit climax yet?" Lee jokingly asks, earning her a punch from Marie. Eddy types and sends:** "Aight Kev, I'm loggin out now, but let Jenn make the first move. Remember, ladyz first!"**

**"She already makin the first move on me! And I'm recordin it with a hidden cam so I can show ya guyz when we come back ^_~ Captain Kev signin out."** Kevin logs out.

**"EZEddy signin out."** Eddy logs out. Some of the girls shriek "Oh my God!" as Jenna is getting in bed with Kevin right now. Eddy shouts to the other seniors: "YO GUYS, KEV AND JENN ARE GETTIN IT ON!"

"OOOOOOHHHH!" several seniors cheer and whoop, while others are less surprised.

"Rolf saw that coming ever since the evening they first locked labials." says Rolf, wearing a sleeveless green shirt, blue jeans, purple-&-yellow fish shoes, and a porcupinefish hat. He is having a drink.

"Hopefully they're usin condoms!" Nazz giggles a bit before going to her front door. "I'll be back, guys. I'm gonna go get Kyle cuz his mom doesn't want him out alone at night."

Nazz leaves through her front door as Rachel enters, still having her hair in a half-ponytail. She's wearing a pinkish-purple, off-shoulder, bell-sleeved top that shows her cleavage and stomach, 3/4-length black pants that flare out towards the bottom, long black socks, low-heeled white shoes, and the same flower clip she always wears. Her low-riding pants also reveal a small pink starfish tattoo on her right hip near her stomach.

_"Rachel, you sexy bitch!"_ Lee comments.

"Thanks! I made this myself!" Rachel replies as she walks up, then listens to "Rock With You" as it plays: "... Y'know, Michael was the only pop singer I ever really liked. I kinda miss him."

Paul's eyes bug out upon seeing Rachel's party look, and the "Rock With You" chorus plays as he stares at her. She glances at him, which makes him zip away and jump behind Nazz's armchair.

_"Ok, so Ray Ray's showin off her body! Don't lose yoself Paul man, or she'll make you scream again."_ Paul warns himself, taking out his notepad and pencil again. "I gotta continue the experiment. Let's see... _Ah, she likes MJ!"_ Paul writes down.

Double-D comes in, wearing a brown vest over a short-sleeve buttoned red shirt, purple jeans, and brown-&-white sneakers.

"Sorry I took so long, fellas. But it took me a while to select a good vest." Double-D explains.

"EEEE!" Marie glomps Double-D, knocking him to the floor and saying "I've been waitin half an hour for you! Come on, let's get it!"

"But I still can't dance." Double-D breaks away from Marie, sweating nervously. Marie smirks, and Rachel tells her "You really like unnerving him a lot, don't you?"

"What can I say? He's cute when he's nervous! Observe!" Marie flashes her stomach at Double-D, making him nervously fall back on the floor as Marie giggles: "I'm just playin around, honey! Now let's dance!"

Marie takes Double-D to dance while Eddy, Lee and Rachel go into the kitchen, with Paul crawling along the floor worm-style to follow Rachel unnoticed. Marie dances with Double-D alongside Ed & May and Steve & Christine while the others clap to the beat.

_"Just follow my lead."_ Marie whispers in Double-D's ear as they dance, going on until "Rock With You" ends. Then "Boom Boom Pow" plays as Jonny steps up to breakdance, but Double-D stops him for a moment.

"Jonny, where's Nazz?" he asks.

"She went to get Kyle. He's playin his guitar at parties and events for cash!" Jonny answers. "They'll be here in a little while. Why?"

"Because I need to- AH!" Double-D gets pulled along by Marie.

"If you don't wanna dance, we'll just have a few drinks to get ya in the mood." Marie and Double-D go into the kitchen. Eddy is showing Lee and Rachel the various drinks he bought: Jack Daniels, Bacardi, Hennessey, Grey Goose, Hypnotiq, Baileys, and Guinness. There's also a bunch of prepared glasses for the drinking. Lee serves herself some Bacardi while Rachel serves herself some truffle pasta at Nazz's counter.

"Yo Lee, pass the Grey Goose for my boo and Hypnotiq for me." Marie requests, and Lee tosses the bottles to her.

"Marie, I don't wish to become intoxicated again." Double-D says. _"Last time that happened, my household got demolished as if a hurricane struck. And Nazz is out of her mind to do the same with her mother away."_

"But you dance soooo good when you're drunk!" Marie says as she pours herself some Hypnotiq, and Eddy adds "Yeah, you topped everyone else at your party after you got wasted off that Incredible Hulk."

"Try a screwdriver. It ain't as bad." Lee mixes some OJ and Grey Goose in a cup, puts ice in it, then slides it to Double-D.

"I'd rather have coffee." Double-D declines the screwdriver.

"Then I'll make some Baileys coffee, my drink of choice. Trust me, you'll like that one." Rachel says, to which Double-D leans his chin on his hand and replies "Fine."

_"Baileys coffee is Ray Ray's favorite drink."_ Paul records in his notepad, watching from inside one of the kitchen cabinets.

* * *

Later, a remix of "How Low" plays, with Sheranne dancing to it. Out on Nazz's illuminated backyard porch, the Eds, Kankers and Rachel are drinking together on the porch's chairs. Double-D and Rachel are drinking their aforementioned Baileys coffee. Paul spies from under the porch. Eddy, Marie and Rachel smoke as they drink.

May takes a pic of Lee's and Rachel's necks, who respectively have "K" and "O" tattoos on the back of their necks (Rachel removed her choker to reveal hers) to spell out "KO." Lee shouts the tattoos' meanings: "Kankers and Owens KNOCK fuckers OUT! Hahaha!"

"I guess this isn't too bad after all, _but I am a tad disoriented."_ Double-D comments his Baileys coffee.

"It's called bein tipsy, nerdo." Eddy explains while lighting a cigarette for Lee, then he continues: "You just don't got the stomach for alcohol like Rachel does. Am I right, Ms. Ireland?"

_"Here we go again with the stereotyping."_ Rachel rolls her eyes as she flicks her cigarette butt into a nearby ash-bin. _"And I suppose all Mexicans hopped the border, right?"_

BWAHAHAHA, that's a good one!" Eddy laughs, and Rachel sighs. Paul writes _"Ray Ray don't like stereotypes."_

May sits up on Ed's lap to kiss him, and he asks in a rather drunken tone: _"Hey May... How low... can ya go?"_

_"... Wanna find out?"_ May asks back, and she takes him inside to dance to "How Low," followed by Eddy and Lee after they flick their cigarette butts into the ash-bin.

"Let's take one more pic before we go in!" Marie suggests as she discards her cigarette butt, and she & Rachel each put an arm over Double-D's shoulders. Marie holds the camera up to take the pic. They look at it, and Marie comments "This is totally a Facebook pic! You should make an account, Rach. Everybody has one."

"Nah, Facebook is overrated." Rachel declines, and Paul writes down_ "Ray Ray don't like Facebook."_

Paul then hears Double-D's, Marie's and Rachel's footsteps as they head inside. He gets up to follow them, only to hit his head on the porch's underside and he goes "AGH!" This alerts Double-D, Marie and Rachel. The music inside stops.

"Someone's under the porch." Double-D says, and Rachel goes under it.

"OH SHIT! WAIT, IT AIN'T WHAT YOU THINK!" Paul panics, bursting through the porch floor but Rachel pulls him back down. Paul then manages to crawl out, but Rachel still holds onto his legs._ "HELP ME!"_

_"Let's get back."_ Marie backs away with Double-D as Rachel restrains Paul by sitting on him and pinning his arms with hers.

_"AAAAAHHHH, PLEASE RAY RAY! DON'T CASTRATE ME!"_ Paul screams and struggles._ "I WAS JUST FOLLOWIN YOU ALL THIS TIME TO GET YO INTERESTS AND HOBBIES DOWN, LIKE HOW YOU LIKE ART, LITERATURE, SINGING, AND, AND LISTENING TO THEM ROCKBANDS & MICHAEL JACKSON! I KNOW IT SEEMS LIKE I'M SOME SICK CREEPY STALKER, BUT I JUST WANTED TO GET TO KNOW YOU, BABE! I DON'T WANT YOU HATIN ME CUZ I LOOKED AT YOU NAKED IN SEVENTH GRADE! I KNOW WHAT I DID WAS WRONG, BUT YOU AIN'T JUST PRETTY! YOU'RE STRONG AND SMART TOO, AND I JUST WANNA MAKE UP FOR WHAT I DID AND BECOME FRIENDS WITCHU, RACHEL! BUT IF YOU STILL MAD, THEN PLEASE, JUST HAVE MERCY ON MY SHITTY ASS!"_

Paul starts crying in fear, and Rachel has a remorseful look on her face after hearing everything he said.

_"Paul... I'm sorry, too. Maybe even moreso."_ Rachel apologizes, shocking Paul while Double-D and Marie watch on. Rachel loosens her grip on Paul's arms and she helps him up to their knees, but she still holds onto him as she explains: _"I'm not really the type to rip others to shreds. I actually abhor violence and prefer compassion & love. That's what my starfish tattoo symbolizes. I didn't mean to traumatize you the way I did, but the thing there is, you caught me by surprise and I reacted by instinct. Any other girl would've done the same."_

"Damn straight." Marie agrees.

"Shut it, we're having a moment." Rachel silences Marie, then continues:_ "Anyway, any other girl would've done the same. It's human nature. But I'll admit that in my case, I went overboard, and I cursed myself ever since. I apologize for hurting you so badly, Paul." _Rachel gently wipes Paul's tears and helps him onto his feet with her:_ "We were both at fault, but I forgive you after hearing your little confession. You're righting your wrongs, and I wanna do the same with you. I'll even spend the night with you if you like! So could you forgive me, too?"_

_"... Y-Y-Yes... Yes, Ray Ray!"_ Paul answers, and Rachel smiles and hugs him. Paul hugs her back: _"I love you, girl!"_

"This is so touching, isn't it, Marie?" Double-D asks Marie, who merely answers "Meh. I'm neutral with Paul."

"Hey wait a moment, Ray Ray. Then why'd ya scare me again on Halloween?" Paul asks.

"Eddy paid me." Rachel answers. "But another thing, Paul._ The way you were following me around does sound obsessive, so don't continue that. If you want to get to know me, just talk to me straight up. Ask me questions and such. It shouldn't be too hard anymore if you're curbing your perversion."_

Paul vaguely hears "Hey Daddy" playing inside, so he asks Rachel: "Uhhh, wanna dance?"

"Sure! I'm not really much of a dancer, though." Rachel answers. "I do know a little hip and belly action, but that's pretty much it."

"That's all you need to know!" Paul reassures her, and they go inside with Double-D & Marie to dance to "Hey Daddy."

"Feelin in the mood, yet?" Marie asks Double-D, her arms over Double-D's shoulders.

"I'm... unsure." Double-D answers, so once "Hey Daddy" ends, Marie takes him into the kitchen for some screwdrivers. Double-D is less resistant due to the Baileys he drank earlier.

* * *

Later, the song "Carry Out" plays. Rolf steps up to dance to it, and he has learned well, as everyone is cheering! Nearby, Rachel and Paul are holding each other as they rock along to the beat and watch Ed & May grind.

"Yo Ray Ray, um... Ya know how to grind?" Paul asks Rachel, who smirks before spinning around to grind on him with her hands on her hips!

"REPS TO PAUL BOY FOR GETTIN AN OLDER GIRL!" Rolf cheers.

_"You know, maybe I should party more often! This really feels good!"_ Rachel exclaims as she grinds on Paul, then Double-D and Marie return while doing the same. As Timberlake sings his "I can feed you, you can feed me" line, Ed and May are then seen feeding each other pieces of fruit on the sofa. After Rolf dances, Lee hops in and does a handstand so Eddy can dance atop her feet. Then Eddy drops down to dance alongside Kyle who has suddenly appeared! Kyle is wearing a colorful Aloha shirt, khaki shorts, and white sneakers.

"WASSUP?" Kyle greets as he and Eddy dance for the ladies.

"Kyle?" Double-D is surprised to see Kyle. "He's only thirteen. What's he... _Wait, if Kyle's present, that also means... NAZZ!_ Excuse me a moment, Marie."

Double-D finds Nazz grinding on Jonny. Nazz waves: "Hey, Double-D! You enjoyin yourself?"

"Yes, but I need to ask you this." Double-D begins: "Who told you of the senior skip?"

Nazz stares at Double-D, then she and Jonny look at each other, and they giggle. Nazz answers: _"Jonny told me!"_

_"And Plank organized it all!"_ Jonny reveals, making Double-D's jaw drop to the floor as he goes "HUUUHHH!"

_"I know what you're thinkin, Double-D, but it's true."_ Jonny says while pointing at Plank, who's lying on the floor with a drunken look drawn on his face with several Jack Daniels bottles scattered around him. _"Plank planned the entire senior skip, so we told Nazz, and she spread the word from there while planning this party!"_

_"But... But... Why?... WHY?"_ Double-D asks in shock:_ "HOW COULD YOU GUYS FORSAKE YOUR OWN EDUCATION ONLY TO PARTY AND GET HAMMERED? THINK ABOUT YOUR FUTURE!"_

"Double-D, you're a workaholic who worries way too much." Nazz says. _"All that work is precisely the reason Jonny and Plank planned the skip. We never have enough time for leisure nowadays because, once we get outta school, we all gotta work at our jobs. Jonny at the pet shop, Kevin at the video store, Eddy at the game store, Ed & Rolf tending livestock, Jenn & Lee at Dickie's, me babysittin little kids, etcetera. Besides, Senior Skip Day is an annual tradition across the country, and we had to keep that tradition alive! We ALL need a little break to rest or we'd get burned out by constant work. We ALL need a little free time to chill out and have fun. And we ALL need to get loose every once in a while. That's the truth, Double-D. It's worth missing one school day. Now have fun, because this will all be gone tomorrow when we go back to work."_

Nazz and Jonny grind away while Double-D is left wide-mouthed and speechless, remembering what Eddy told him in the morning: **"But dude,_ you really gotta loosen up and have fun once in a while_."**

Later, several seniors gather around the armchair as Kyle plays and sings a guitar song. Nazz smiles in enjoyment.

_"I love guitar!"_ the loose-haired May comments Kyle's song as she lays on top of the wasted, shirtless Ed on the sofa. Lee puts the also-drunk Eddy in a corner to rest, then joins Rachel and Paul in listening to Kyle. Rachel has her arm around Paul's shoulders, while Paul has his arm around her waist.

"Isn't he just adorable!" Rachel asks Lee about Kyle. Double-D looks at Rachel after hearing her, and remembers her saying _**"Even I need to get loose every once in a while."**_

The drunken Marie approaches Double-D, dropping her glass and grabbing Double-D with an amorous expression. Double-D then remembers what Nazz told him:_** "We ALL need to get loose every once in a while. That's the truth, Double-D."**_

Lee and Rachel watch as Marie takes Double-D outside, and Rolf, sitting on a stool, exclaims _"Hoho, Rolf sees where that's goin, yo!"_

As Marie takes Double-D down the sidewalk, she asks him _"Ready for some lone time at your house, baby? Heeheehee!..."_

While she pulls him along, Double-D repeatedly remembers what Eddy, Rachel and Nazz said until they clutter up his mind. Once he clears it, he mentally tells himself _"... They were right... They were right all along... I've been worrying too much... Maybe I do need to loosen up..."_

Marie takes Double-D into his candle-lit living room, where Marie pushes Double-D onto his sofa. Then she sits up on Double-D's lap, throws her hat off, undoes her ponytail, lifts off Double-D's vest, unbuttons his shirt, and throws it aside. Then she starts tongue-kissing him...

_"Yes, yes I do... It's time for me... to loosen up... and have fun..." Double-D mentally says as Marie leans back to remove her tanktop and toss it aside, revealing her black bra. Double-D leans forward to kiss her lips, and she blushes and pulls him in to deepen their kiss, brushing his hat off in the process. They giggle, fall over onto the sofa, and stroke each others' hair and skin as they continue making out..._

* * *

The next morning, Double-D awakens on the sofa with Marie on top of him.

_"Good morning, sweetums!"_ Marie kisses Double-D and snuggles with him. Double-D freaks out upon seeing his and Marie's clothes on the floor, and that they're only wearing their undergarments!

_"Holy lord! What happened? Where are we?"_ Double-D asks as he gets up. Then he sees Ed and Eddy, back in their normal clothes, banging on the window and yelling at them to "GET OUTTA THERE!"

"Huh? What's-" Marie is interrupted by Jimmy's SCREAM!

_"MY EYES! I'M SEEING SOMETHING I SHOULDN'T BE SEEING! MOM, DAD!"_ the pajama-wearing Jimmy, covering his eyes, runs upstairs to get his parents! Marie screams "SHIT!"

"WE GOTTA HIGH-TAIL IT, MARIE!" Double-D and Marie quickly put their clothes back on as they rush through the front door out of Jimmy's house, then Ed and Eddy help them run off!

**The End!**

* * *

I forgot to mention this over the course of the last few chapters, but I've made a few more Teen Series pics on deviantArt since Febuary/March. You can check them out if you like, and I'll make more soon. Also stay tuned for my next episode! I'll try getting it up faster.


	43. Nine to Ed pt 1

Thanks again to CasaNova73099 for helping me out with this episode. Enjoy this chapter's tension.

* * *

_**Episode #22: Nine to Ed**_

* * *

We see a dark place cramped with bags and luggage, accompanied by the sound of it being inside a vehicle. We some hear faint mumbling under the bags. The mumbling grows louder...

_"Ow! Move your tailbone, Jimmy."_ Sarah's voice mumbles from beneath the luggage.

_"I'm trying, but I'm stuck."_ Jimmy mumbles in response. Kyle emerges from the luggage, activating a flashlight to look around. He is wearing his swim-shorts instead of his normal shorts, and has sunglasses set back above his eyes. Jimmy and Sarah emerge soon afterwards, both gasping for breath. Sarah is wearing her swimsuit along with her usual jeans, while Jimmy wears a turquoise tanktop and khaki shorts. All have their normal footwear, and are carrying backpacks.

"Zoe?... Zoey, where are ya?" Kyle asks as he looks around for Zoe with his flashlight, and Sarah remarks "Yeah, she convinces us to follow her, then she disappears before we even get to the park."

"Look over here!" Zoe's voice calls, and Kyle follows her voice to point his flashlight at her. Zoe is wearing her usual black leggings, green sandals, and a bikini top with beach balls for breasts and butt cheeks! She exclaims while showing off: _"I just grew my cups n curves! You like em, boys? Heeheeheeheehee!"_

Jimmy sweats while Kyle chuckles, bites his bottom lip and puts on his sunglasses! Sarah, however, is not pleased.

"You put that bikini top back, Zoe." she scolds. "And stop actin like a little horn dog."

"Heh, you're just jealous cuz you're a late bloomer!" Zoe disses Sarah before diving back into the luggage. She re-emerges wearing her own green bikini top, and she has several comics. "I wonder what Ed reads in these!..._ Oooo, Ravenous Rex Issue #35!"_

"Zoe, I suggest you put those back." Jimmy fearfully warns.

"Relax!" Zoe replies. "As long as the bus is movin, we're in the clear!"

The bus they are in hits a bump in the road, making them fall over. It's revealed that the four kids are inside the cargo hold of a coach bus that's exiting a highway and going into the urban streets of downtown Orange Harbor.

In the bus's passenger compartment, we see the Peach Creek High seniors. Ed sits with May, Double-D sits with Eddy, Nazz sits with Jenna, Kevin sits with Jonny, Rolf sits with Paul, Lee sits with Marie, and Rachel sits with Sean. Each boy is wearing their swim-pants instead of their usual pants, Ed & Double-D are respectively wearing gray & red tanktops, and Eddy is wearing a colorful Aloha shirt that's partly undone. The girls are wearing their bikini tops (or one-pieces in Lee's and Rachel's cases) instead of their shirts. Nazz, Jenna and Marie are also wearing their hoodies, which are open, and Rachel has white sneakers & black socks instead of her usual boots & net stockings.

Kevin looks back and sees Jenna snoozing off, so he takes out his camera.

_"Shh shh, here's the rest of it!"_ Kevin shows a video to Eddy, Jonny, Paul and Rolf.

**Video: Kevin fast-forwards through several clips of him recording his Senior Skip time with Jenna, which include Jenna (wearing a yellow sundress and shades) driving Kevin to Pomelo Beach, Kevin tickling Jenna while wearing their swim-suits (plus Jenna's unzipped Daisy Dukes) at the beach, eating ice-cream from the beach's ice-cream stand, and wearing bathrobes as they watch the sunset together from the porch of the beachside cottage they were staying at. Kevin ceases the fast-forward and continues from where he presumably left off: Kevin, still wearing his bathrobe, is setting his cam in a hidden corner in the cottage's bedroom, getting it into place right before Jenna struts in.**

**_"Hey, Kevvie!"_ Jenna greets seductively. Kevin turns around, _and sees Jenna seductively open up her bathrobe and drop it to the floor to reveal her white bra & panties, and she gives Kevin a "come here" finger as she approaches him. Kevin promptly walks towards her as well, and she removes his robe to reveal his boxers, then they grab each other and jump into bed!_**

_"Geeheeheehehehehahaha!"_ Eddy, Jonny, Paul and Rolf giggle and laugh as they watch** Kevin and Jenna make out in bed. Both giggle as they kiss and caress each other in bed.** Nazz sees it too, and she starts giggling uncontrollably, waking Jenna up.

"What's going on?" Jenna groggily asks, and Nazz points to Kevin's video. Kevin fast-forwards again: "Here's after I talked to Eddy online. _This is where we really got it on!"_

_"WHAT THE FUCK?"_ Jenna makes a jump at Kevin, but Nazz quickly holds her back and Kevin stops the video. Jenna yells at Kevin: "YOU FUCKIN RECORDED THAT? I WANTED THAT MOMENT TO BE BETWEEN JUST THE TWO OF US!"

"So Jenn, how does it feel to lose your virginity?" Eddy asks, and everyone on the bus hears it! Jenna gets even angrier, and answers: "It feels like THIS!"

Jenna tries punching Eddy, but Eddy blocks with his arms, entertaining the others on the bus. Eddy asks "Damn, you punch hard, Jenn!_ You and Kev got it on THAT hard?"_

_"[SHUT UP!]"_ Jenna tries getting at Eddy, but Nazz restrains her again with Double-D's help while Eddy, Kevin, Jonny, Paul, Rolf, Ed and the Kankers laugh.

"My boy just doesn't know when to stop!" Lee laughingly comments.

"Ok ok Jenn, I'll delete it later." Kevin puts away his cam in his pocket, and Jenna replies _"No, I wanna see you delete it right now if you really care about my feelings."_

"Fine." Kevin takes out his camera and deletes the video, much to the other boys' disappointment, Rolf less so. But Paul lightens up:

"Yo CK and Baby Bonita, did ya name yo kid yet?" Paul asks, and Jenna glares at him.

"It was safe sex, dude." Kevin answers.

"Double-D, did you and Marie use condoms when you laid each other in Jimbo's house last week?" Eddy asks Double-D, who answers with slight discomfort: _"I don't think we went that far, because I remember us still wearing our undergarments."_

"You still loved it!" Marie teases from her seat. Ed, meanwhile, continues stroking May's hair when she looks through their window.

"_Hey, there it is!"_ May points at the Mondo-A-GoGo theme park, and everyone (except the goths) go "WHOOO!" as the bus enters the park. Once the bus parks, the seniors pour out of the bus in joy. Sarah, Jimmy, Kyle and Zoe hear them coming to get their bags.

"Back to Ed's bag!" Zoe shouts, and they cram back into Ed's bag just as the cargo hold opens and the seniors collect their bags.

"HERE WE ARE AT MONDO, PLANK, AND WE'RE GO-GO-GOIN ON EVERY RIDE!" Jonny exclaims. "WHO'S WITH US?"

"YEEEAAAHHH!" Ed, Eddy, Kevin, Rolf and Paul run off with Jonny while Double-D, the Kankers, Nazz, Jenna, Rachel and the goths take their time. As Ed runs through the park with his friends, Zoe, Kyle, Jimmy and Sarah take the opportunity to leap out of his bag while he isn't looking. Zoe is also revealed to have a backpack like her friends.

"THIS IS IT!" Zoe exclaims with her arms spread. _"MOST WICKED-A-GOGO! CRAZY RIDES AND THRILLING THRILLS GALORE! IT'S MAKIN ME TINGLE, HAHAHAHAHA! COME ON, JIM JIM!"_

"Wait, AH!" Jimmy panics as Zoe takes him to go on rides.

* * *

The Eds, Kevin, Jonny, Rolf, Paul, Marie, Lee and Rachel throw their arms up as they ride down the big drop of the wooden "MANEATER" coaster.

Meanwhile, Sarah, Jimmy, Kyle and Zoe ride "POINT FREEFALL," a drop-tower ride resembling a lighthouse. As they drop down, Jimmy SCREAMS!

Ed & May and Jonny & Nazz get drenched as they SPLASH down a sawmill ride, followed by the other two Eds & Kankers, and then the goths.

Sarah and Kyle are riding in one of the gondolas of an Enterprise ride while Zoe excitedly hangs onto the gondola's top by one of the side-bars, holding the SCREAMING Jimmy with her other arm!

The Eds, Kankers, Kevin, Jenna, Rolf, Paul and Jonny & Plank are spun around in a rotor ride called the "WATERSPOUT" while Nazz and the goths watch from the viewing platform. Those being spun around scream "WHOOOAAAAA!" and "AAAAAAHHHH!"

Sarah, Jimmy, Kyle and Zoe ride the inverted "MIGHTY MANTA" coaster, taking the four front seats and holding hands as they ride. Jimmy once again SCREAMS, but Zoe merely responds "I'M HAVIN FUN, TOO!"

* * *

Some time later, the teens hit Mondo-A-GoGo's beach, accessed from a boardwalk behind the "BLUE LAGOON" waterpark area. All the boys except the goth boys and Plank are swimming, while all the girls removed their pants (and hoodies in Nazz's, Jenna's and Marie's cases) to either swim with the boys (the Kankers) or lay on their towels (the remaining girls, though Nazz appears to be drying herself off). Numerous seagulls fly around, one landing to approach Jenna. Jenna lifts her shades and flips off the bird, making it fly away.

"Damn, look at them go." Rachel points at those swimming in the water as Sean applies sunscreen to her back. Rolf picks up Jonny from below, shouts "HAIRLESS OTTER," and throws him across the water, while Eddy, Ed, Kevin and Paul grab Lee's arms & legs to toss her waayyy up and back down into the water. Sean points in another direction:

"Look at that!" Sean is pointing at one of the water slides overlooking the beach, where there is a towering SPLASH at the bottom that sends a water-tube flying up and it crash-lands between Nazz & Jenna, making them scramble back!

"What was that?" Double-D asks, and Marie suggests "Let's check it out."

They and the other swimmers swim back to shore to check out the crashed tube. The drenched Zoe, now wearing only her bikini, flips the tube off of her and reveals herself: "WHOO, THAT WAS A HOOT!"

"ZOE?" Nazz asks in surprise as Sarah and Kyle, also wearing only their swim-suits, rush down from the pier and towards Zoe. Kyle asks "You two ok?"

Jimmy's hair curls are seen sticking out of the sand, and Zoe grabs them to pull Jimmy out.

"Oh way to go, Zoe!" Sarah sarcastically says. "Now they know we're here thanks to your little water slide stunt."

"So? You're the one who wanted to come along, Sarah!" Zoe retaliates.

"How did you four get here?" Double-D asks, and Eddy adds "Yeah, since when did you become seniors?"

"We stowed away in Ed's bag!" Zoe answers. "It was my idea because I love love LOVE this place. Sarah and Kyle followed, _and I brought Jim Jim because I love love loooove him!"_

Zoe puckers at Jimmy, making him nervously hide behind Sarah, who explains "The park's staff were stupid enough not to recognize us as kids."

"The dudes even called us midgets!" Kyle laughs.

"Ok, let's go back to the Lagoon and ride that wicked new Whirlpool slide!" Zoe suggests excitedly.

"Yeah, that sounds good! What do you say, guys?" Kevin asks.

"YEAH!" all the boys except the goth boys agree. But when Ed sees that May isn't coming with him, he looks back and asks "May, are you comin?"

"Nah, I wanna tan a little bit." May answers, laying on her stomach and tanning with the other girls. Jenna and Nazz agree: "Ditto."

_"Oh come on, you three barely went on any rides with us so far."_ Jonny complains at Nazz, Jenna and May.

"We'll ride with you guys later." Nazz replies.

"I bet." Eddy sarcastically scoffs. "And you, Lee._ You were babblin all about that new slide when we were on the bus, and now you don't even seem to care."_

_"I do! I just wanna tan first."_ Lee replies, and her sisters bob in agreement.

"Plank says you bitches are no fun!" Jonny tells the girls, but Kevin dismisses them: "Forget the chicks._ They're just scared!"_

_"... Excuse me?"_ Jenna lifts her head up, and Kevin starts fluttering his arms and making chicken noises!

"Yeah that's right! _All these rides and freak shows are too much for you queasy girls!"_ Eddy cracks, and the boys, including Kyle, start chuckling.

_"Yeah, this whole park's too manly for ya'll!"_ Paul jokes too, angering the girls, especially Jenna and Marie.

"Ahem, _Lee and I rode ALL the rides with you boys."_ Marie retaliates, backed up by Rachel who stands up:_ "And we watched that Man-Crab show with you guys as well."_

The other teen girls stand up with Rachel. Sean warns his fellow goth boys:_ "Let's back up, boys. Female pride is coming in."_

Sarah and Zoe join the teen girls, and Sarah shouts: _"And at least we girls got BRAINS! All you boys are nothin but BRAWN!"_

Kyle gasps at this, and Eddy & Kevin shout "WHAT?"

"BOYS GO TO JUPITER TO GET MORE STUPIDER!" Sarah, Zoe, May and Marie chant while dancing, then Nazz, Jenna, Lee and Rachel continue: "GIRLS GO TO COLLEGE TO GET MORE KNOWLEDGE!"

"Sheer blasphemy!" Double-D retorts at the girls._ "I, a male, happen to be the class valedictorian, a member of the student council, and president of the chess club. Thank you very much!"_

_"You're practically a girl, you fuckin walking-stick! Stop actin all high-n-mighty!"_ Jenna puts down Double-D, and the other girls (even Marie) laugh!

"Speakin of high-n-mighty, _the rest of you guys ain't much more than a bunch of couch-potatoes!"_ Lee cracks, angering the boys.

"YEAH BOYS, HOW ABOUT MAKIN _US_ SOME SANDWICHES FOR A CHANGE!" Zoe shouts, and the girls laugh hysterically while the boys anger even more!

"ROLF HAS HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR CHAUVINISM, WOMEN!" Rolf rolls up his arms and starts stomping towards the girls, but Kevin stops him by putting his arm in front.

"I know how to settle this!" Kevin says with a smile._ "Let's have a battle of the sexes!"_

"You're on, assholes!" Jenna accepts. "First team to score three points wins! And if we win,_ I'll be namin our first child, Kevo!"_

_"So be it."_ Kevin complies, but Ed brings up "But there's nine boys to eight girls."

"I say we weed out Slim Jim." Paul suggests. "If there's any boy here more girly than DD, it's Slim Jim fo sho."

"Yeah, he and Plank will be our scorekeepers." Jonny assigns, but Jimmy seems upset. Double-D approaches Jimmy to comfort him.

_"It's ok, Double-D. The circumstances are understandable."_ Jimmy reluctantly resigns himself to the role of scorekeeper.

"So it's settled! Eight dudes versus eight babes!" Eddy declares, grabbing a stick to write in the sand: "Here's how it'll go down..."

**To be Continued...

* * *

**

Trivia: The Ravenous Rex issue Zoe found in Ed's bag is a throwback to my older Teen Series episode "From Ed to Eternity," and Rolf's "HAIRLESS OTTER" line reflects back to Season 2's "Hands Across Ed." Zoe's "THAT WAS A HOOT!" line is a reference to the show "Rocko's Modern Life" as Heffer's catchphrase, and Mondo-A-GoGo's "Mighty Manta" coaster is based on the actual Manta coaster in SeaWorld Orlando.

The title of this episode is based on the movie "Nine to Five," in which three women try to get even with and overthrow their "sexist" boss, so you could also say that it loosely inspired this episode.


	44. Nine to Ed pt 2

I forgot to mention this last chapter, but credit goes to Dnny By for the Kevin/Jenna tension and Zoe fooling around in the bus's cargo hold. Happy now, DB?

* * *

We see a large wave pool in Mondo-A-GoGo's "BLUE LAGOON" area, where we see all the teens and kids sitting on loungers overlooking the pool, except for Eddy, Rolf, Lee and Sarah. Those four are down in the wave pool while the rest watch, with Jimmy and Plank having numbered cards for score-keeping. Plank is keeping score for the boys (numbered in blue) while Jimmy does so for the girls (numbered in pink). Sean steps up to read out the challenge:

"Challenge number one." Sean begins: _"It is commonly believed that men can endure more than women. In this challenge, the competitors must swim over as many waves as they can before tiring out or getting submerged. The last person remaining wins the first point for their team."_

"SHOW THEM GIRLS WHAT WE'RE MADE OF!" Paul shouts to Eddy and Rolf.

"THAT'S THE PLAN, BRO!" Eddy replies with a thumb-up and smirks at Lee & Sarah.

"I'll bet you twenty that the girls will win." Bill tells Dean, who nods in acceptance of the bet. Soon, the waves start coming up, and Eddy, Rolf, Lee and Sarah start swimming over them.

"TRY KEEPIN UP, BOYS!" Lee taunts as she swims over the waves with Sarah, who blows her tongue at Eddy and Rolf.

"Looks pretty evened out so far." Nazz observes as the four competitors swim over the waves.

"This is too easy! Hell, I can float my way through this!" Eddy floats on his back to relax, kicking his feet to keep himself from getting swept back by the waves.

"Eddy! Eddy, I wouldn't do that!" Double-D warns as the waves get increasingly bigger and higher, but he is ignored, and the overestimating Eddy eventually gets swallowed by one of the waves. The other boys facepalm at this.

"Stupid douche." Kevin groans as Eddy gets washed back to the pool's shallow end, and Double-D adds "That's what he gets for overestimating himself."

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Sarah laughs at Eddy, but this distracts her from the next incoming wave. She gasps, and strains herself to swim over the wave before getting swallowed by it. But this leaves her too exhausted to swim over the next one, and she's washed back as well. The boys and girls then start cheering for Rolf and Lee as they swim over several dozen waves. But eventually, Lee tires out and swims towards a ladder to climb out, leaving Rolf to take the win!

"YEAH, ROLF! WAY TO GO, ROLFY BOY!" the boys cheer and whop as Rolf climbs out. Plank (somehow) flips the score to one point for the boys.

"A cinch it was for Rolf's superior maritime experience!" Rolf comments on the ease of the challenge. Bill, having lost his bet with Dean, gruffly gives twenty dollars to the smirking Dean.

"DAMMIT!" Zoe shouts, surprising Nazz!

"Zoe, watch your language. You're too young to be saying that." Nazz tells Zoe, who halfheartedly replies _"This is a free country, so I can say whatever the hell I want! Hehehehehe!"_

"Lee, that was weak." Marie scolds, but Lee tells her to "Shut up, like you'd do any better when you got the same shitty lungs as mine."

* * *

Later, the boys got their shirts back on while the girls have their pants (though left unzipped). They're now on the park's boardwalk, the boys and girls staring down from opposite sides. Then Nazz, Jenna and May step up for the second challenge, which Sean explains with another reading:

_"The fact that girls have greater natural flexibility than guys often leads to the belief that girls are superior in such activities as gymnastics and dancing. This second challenge shall focus on the latter. In other words, a dance battle."_

"Let's see if you top us Dance Team members!" Jenna taunts the boys while Nazz and May giggle. The boys huddle to pick out their three dancers, and Kevin, Jonny & Paul are chosen.

"I'll tell ya what, Kevin! _If we win, I get to name our first child Pablo!"_ Jenna bets, and Kevin replies _"I'll name him Drew!"_

Paul takes a boom box out from his backpack and turns it on to play some break-dance music. "Ladies first! Let's see what you got, Buckwild!"

May steps up to dance first, doing fluid moves like a windmill and a handspring followed up with an air-split. Then Jonny break-dances, doing a handstand, a head-spin, and finishing it with a floor spin to landing in a side-laying pose. The boys applaud.

"Heh, Jonny's the only true pro you guys got. And without Double-D bein drunk, you guys got _nothin_ on us!" Jenna boasts, taking her turn to dance in which she does a backflip with a split upon landing. Kevin goes next, and surprisingly dances near Jonny's level.

"Huh?" Jenna is surprised, and Nazz dances to top Kevin. She shows similar prowess to Jonny, only to be matched by Paul.

"When the hell did they get that good?" Marie asks. Paul answers, pointing at Jonny: _"We learned from Master Woody!"_

"Agh! TRIPLE B, GIRLS!" Jenna cues Nazz and May for a combo dance. They hold hands in a triangle, spin around as they interlink each others' hands repeatedly, and one rolls under & around the other two as they do so. Then Nazz does a handstand and May dives between her open legs to land on her back, then Jenna dives through Nazz's legs to land on May's feet, propelling the somersaulting Jenna through the air and she lands on the toes of one foot! The girls clap and cheer.

Then the boys do their group dance. They dance towards each other, lining up to dance from one-to-the-next. Then Jonny, who's in the middle, drops on his back and thrusts himself up like a puppet with Kevin & Paul working the "strings." They "pull" Jonny up and "manipulate" his opposite sides to do make him dance very fast, then they dance around him as they "spin" him. Paul breaks his "strings" so Kevin can manipulate Jonny into jumping onto Paul, and they join together to form an "exercise bike" formation with Paul as the pedals and Jonny as the handles. Kevin jumps on and rides the "bike," and the boys cheer while all the girls' jaws drop in amazement!

_"Fine, our son will be Drew."_ Jenna concedes, and Plank adds another point to the boys.

* * *

The third challenge brings the boys and girls back down to the beach to play volleyball. We see Double-D and Kyle playing for the boys as Sean reads out the challenge:

_"Team sports are quite often thought of as stereotypically masculine and confined to men, but the feminine belief exists that girls can play on equal footing with their male counterparts. This third challenge, a game of volleyball, will determine that."_

"WE GOTTA WIN THIS ONE, GIRLS!" Lee shouts out as the girl players are revealed: Marie and Zoe, the latter giggling deviously.

"Hahahahaha, Double-D? Seriously?_ We're so comin back!"_ Zoe laughs some more.

"Show us what ya got, honeybun!" Marie playfully taunts Double-D.

"Slender Ed boy and beach-bum Kyle boy, show the pin-cushion Kanker girl and nutty-as-a-fruitcake Zoe girl who's boss!" Rolf shouts out, but Double-D is trembling as he looks at his opponents. Marie grins widely while Zoe's pigtails curl up like devil horns!

"Chillax, dude." Kyle consoles Double-D, pointing at Marie and Zoe: "Now look. They're both right-handed, so just try hittin the ball to their lefts. We could do this!"

"Ok, that doesn't sound too difficult." Double-D replies. When the game begins, Kyle serves the ball. Marie bumps the ball to Zoe, who bumps it back for Marie so she can hit it towards the boys. It goes in Double-D's direction, but he fails to reach it before it hits the ground.

"Wow, and I thought he'd actually get that." Eddy comments in disappointment. Marie serves the ball, and Kyle bumps it to Double-D, who bumps back so Kyle can spike the ball onto the girls' ground.

"GO, ZEPH!" Paul cheers for Kyle. But shortly afterwards...

"HYAH!" Zoe hits past Double-D before he can block. Then Marie does the same thing again, and eventually, the girls score 10 points to the boys' mere 3. Marie then scores again, and the ball's bounce knocks Double-D for a loop.

"Oops, sorry! Guess I don't know my own strength! Heeheeheehee!" Marie jokes.

"Exploiting Double-D's inadequacy at sports, I see." Rachel notes, and Kyle catches on to this, mentally analyzing _"If I stay on the opposite side of Double-D, the girls will go for his side. But if I go to help him on that side, then this side will be left open. They're also using angled attacks, which are tougher for Double-D to react to. But then again, Marie smokes, so she should tire out sooner than later."_

Kyle motions Double-D to come over, and tells in his ear: "I'll block both sides, and let's focus against Marie. _I'll wear her down enough for you to score. Understand?"_

"Yes." Double-D answers. Marie serves, and Kyle bumps the ball to Double-D. Marie then sees Kyle spike the ball towards her side and she hits it back. Kyle continues blocking and sending back Marie's & Zoe's hits, but Marie starts to cough and slow down, cuing Double-D to score. But just as he hits towards Marie's side, Zoe dives in and digs the ball for her, then hits it back at the boys, forcing Double-D into the sand and scoring again for the girls!

"So much for your strategy, eh Kyle?" Zoe chuckles. _"I know you!"_

Kyle snaps his fingers: "Geez, Zoe catches on fast."

Kyle and Zoe then hit back-&-forth, with Kyle going for Marie but she and Zoe manage to block. But eventually, Marie tires out, and Double-D looks at he exhausted Marie as Zoe hits towards him. Double-D manages to bump it towards Kyle, who bumps it back: "NOW, DUDE!"

Double-D just watches painfully as Marie falls to her knees coughing. And when the ball reaches him, he does nothing, and it bounces off his shoulder and onto the ground next to him, giving yet another point to the girls.

"HUH?" all the boys gasp, especially Kyle. Marie and Zoe are also surprised, and Zoe gasps as Double-D rushes over to Marie and helps her up.

_"Are you ok, Marie?"_ Double-D asks in concern, but Marie only looks at him while sweating and breathing hard. _"I'm... I'm sorry, but I... I just can't play anymore if it means making you suffer like this."_

_"Awwww!"_ the other girls awe, and Marie smiles and hugs Double-D: _"Oh, sweetie!"_

"Heh, we scored way more anyway, so WE WIN!" Zoe dances around victoriously.

"You kicked butt, Zoe!" Jimmy comments as he flips to one point for the girls, and Zoe zips towards him to glomp him: _"Aww, that means a lot comin from you!"_

Zoe's tight hug starts unnerving Jimmy again. Eddy asks "Why does damn Sockhead always gotta be such a fuckin softie?"

"Like it mattered. They were losin anyway." Kevin replies while walking off, but Eddy follows, reasoning "But they could've made a comeback and you know it. Fuck."

* * *

Double-D is later seen sitting with the still-tired Marie on a bench, Marie wearing her open hoodie again and resting her head on Double-D's shoulder. Nearby, the boys and girls are at the entrance of a dark ride called "THE EERIE ABYSS." A guy's SCREAM is heard from inside.

Sean reads out_ "Movies and other forms of media depiction portray girls as squeamish and easily frightened, whereas men are consistently shown as brave and fearless. In this fourth challenge, Ed and Rachel, the most fearless of their teams, must go through The Eerie Abyss, the #1 most terrifying dark ride on the east coast."_

"Hahaha, I see scary every day in my comics! This will be nothin!" Ed boasts, and Rachel asks "How scary could it be?"

"From what I heard, _nobody EVER got through this ride without screamin at least once."_ Paul explains, and Rachel's visible eye widens as she (along with the others) hears another guy's SCREAM from inside the ride. Eddy adds, with a creepy face: "And with that, the first one to scream...._ loses!"_

"Hold me! I'm scared!" Zoe grabs and holds onto Jimmy, then giggles while Jimmy sweats. Eddy and Lee fit radios next to Ed's and Rachel's mouths, respectively.

"Now we'll know when you scream!" Lee says as she and Eddy reveal their own radios to follow Rachel and Ed respectively. And as Ed and Rachel enter the ride's tunnel in a submarine-shaped car, a girl's SCREAM is heard inside.

Ed and Rachel slowly ride through The Eerie Abyss, which is themed on the darkness of the deep ocean, and is full of animatronic deep-sea creatures. Both manage to keep their cool as they pass by various ghostly squid, jellyfish, giant shrimp & isopods, and creepy deep-sea fish including lizardfish, viperfish, blobfish, grenadiers, ratfish, telescope fish, dragonfish and gulper eels. Then a huge, long-legged spider crab with massive claws SCREECHES from the ceiling.

"Whoa!" Ed chuckles as the spider crab swings its claws at him and Rachel.

_"Oh my God."_ Rachel sees a frilled shark distend its jaws extremely wide, revealing rows of sharp teeth. The frilled shark is followed by a glowing goblin shark, shooting out its extendable jaws at Ed and making his eyes bug out for the first time on the ride. Then the red eyes of a vampire squid appear next to him, while Rachel sees a bright light appear a long distance ahead. A huge, snaking, demonic oarfish spirals from it towards them!

_"You doin ok in there, big guy?"_ Eddy asks through the radio, and Ed answers "Yeah. I didn't get surprised at all so far!"

"Liar." Rachel flatly replies, and Lee smirks upon hearing this. She asks "How are you doin, Rach?"

_"Some freaky ghost shark sent a chill down my spine by shooting its jaw at us. We're in Hell's aquarium."_ Rachel answers. _"There's also a light up ahead..."_

While heading towards the bright light, Ed and Rachel pass a school of flashing jumbo squid. But the intermittent flashes reveal a much larger giant squid eerily moaning behind them. Everything goes dark... then the giant squid suddenly reappears in front of Ed and Rachel, flashing red as it whips out its tentacles, as if it were about to pull them into its mouth. The sudden attack makes both Ed and Rachel jump, but it still doesn't make them scream. The giant squid swims back, revealing the bright light much closer now. They move closer and closer to it as cries and screams are heard from people riding behind them. They finally reach the bright light...

... But it rears up and is revealed to be the lure of a huge, demonic deep-sea anglerfish, which ROARS to reveal its huge dagger-like teeth and multi-forked tongue! Ed and Rachel freak out, and Rachel tries to keep herself from screaming by closing her eyes and biting her bottom lip. _But her eyes pop open when Ed finally breaks and SCREAMS, which is so loud that when it goes through the radio to Eddy, it blows Eddy away into a nearby vending machine, scattering sodas and other beverages everywhere!_

_"Damn, it must be great to be in Rachel's shoes right now."_ Bill sarcastically comments._ "Ed's scream must've popped her eardrums."_

_"The cast-iron-lung Ed boy lost."_ Rolf says in shock, and Jimmy flips the girls' score to two to even out with the boys.

* * *

Later, the boys and girls are eating pizza at several tables shaded with parasols. The boys and girls eat at separate tables, except Double-D with Marie, Jimmy with Zoe, and the goth boys with Rachel, whose ears are now bandaged from Ed's scream. Nazz and Jenna are wearing their open hoodies again.

"We gotta think of a tiebreaker." Eddy says. "Any of you got ideas?"

"I'm beat, dawg." Paul answers, and Jonny answers "Plank has an idea, but it would bring this show's rating to TV-MA."

"Let's not go there." Kevin replies. The girls, meanwhile, are also stumped. Jenna asks "You got any ideas, Nazz?"

Nazz nods, so Jenna asks "How about you, Sarah?" But Sarah also nods, so Jenna asks "Rachel, how about you?"

_"I can't hear you. Remember?"_ Rachel points to her bandaged ears. Meanwhile, while Zoe eats her pizza, she watches Jimmy finish his and asks "Was the pizza good, Jim Jim?"

"Um, yes." Jimmy answers, and Zoe gives him a sweet look while commenting "Y'know, you're cute when you eat! _Really cute!"_

Jimmy looks at Zoe nervously, and she giggles. She nudges closer to Jimmy and starts touching him, but he sweats and moves away. Zoe asks "What's wrong? I'm your friend."

"Yeah but,_ you've been acting really... lovey-dovey towards me for some time now and... you're pulling me out of my comfort zone. I don't know how to handle it."_ Jimmy panics, hiding under the table.

Zoe slips under to hold Jimmy's shoulders: "Oh Jimmy, I'm sorry, but that's just how I flirt! I do the same thing with Kyle sometimes! But..._ if you think I was bein a bit too sexual, it's... well, it kinda got stuck to me ever since I saw Mom and Dad doin it a few years back. Daddy called it great, and so I thought bein sexual was a good thing even though I'm still too young for it."_

_"Well, I do suppose old habits die hard, but Zoe, could you at least try not to be too amorous like that?"_ Jimmy begs.

_"I'll try, Jimmy!"_ Zoe hugs Jimmy, taking him out from under the table. Then she eats her final pizza slice and pats her stomach: "Now I'm full and ready to go! Come on, Jimmy, let's ride the Mighty Manta again!"

"Shouldn't you wait a little while first, Zoe? _We just ate and I don't wanna hurl."_ Jimmy replies, and Eddy hears this.

_"That's it! THAT'S what we'll do!"_ Eddy shouts out "HEY, BOYS AND GIRLS! I GOT OUR TIEBREAKER! WE'RE GONNA EAT MORE PIZZA, THEN GO ON MORE RIDES RIGHT AFTER!"

"That'll only make us puke." Nazz says, but Eddy replies _"Exactly! We'll ALL puke eventually, but how long will ya be able to hold it? We're all gonna go on rides and hold our vomit as long as we can! The last one remaining wins for their team!"_

"Oooo, that sounds thrilling AND lulzworthy! _Let's do it!"_ Zoe exclaims.

"That's disgusting!" Double-D scoffs, but Marie says "You're on!"

"WHAT?" Double-D asks Marie in shock, but Marie explains "Hey, I never said I was quittin on my girls, did I?"

"Rolf denies no challenge!" Rolf agrees to do it, and eventually, the competitors all agree to the final challenge and go to eat more pizza!

"Oh yeah, I can see it now! Manpower for the win!" Eddy exclaims as he grubs down his pizza. "WE'RE GONNA WIN THIS, LADIES! AND IF I'M WRONG, THEN LET ME BE SHAT UPON BY SEAGULLS!"

Right on cue, a flock of seagulls drop their wastes on Eddy as they fly overhead! The girls start LAUGHING, especially Lee! The boys look at Eddy, who utters to them: _"Any of you say anything, and I will kill you."_

* * *

The first rides the boys and girls go on after eating are the "SCYLLA AND CHARYBDIS" dueling coasters, the boys riding the red Scylla track while the girls ride the blue Charybdis track.

"Eddy, I don't think I'll last through this." Double-D worries, but Eddy says "If you feel it coming out, try holdin it as long as you can."

"Enjoy the ride!" the operator sets the coasters into motion, and they go up for the big drops. Jimmy, Plank and the goth boys watch from a bench below.

"Watching someone puke will make me sick if it happens." Sean says, and Bill & Dean bob in agreement.

"Here it comes!" May exclaims as they near the top.

"Here we go!" Kevin shouts right before the coasters zoom downwards, and everyone SCREAMS as they throw their arms up. Jimmy looks away, not wanting to see any possible puking.

"OOOHHHH SHIIIIIIITTTT!" Paul screams as the Scylla coaster loops, while Double-D starts to get dizzy. On the Charybdis coaster, Nazz and Jenna look at each other as they scream, then we experience the ride from Rachel's point of view. The silence of her deafness builds up the scare factor as the Charybdis coaster descends from an overbanked turn and appears to be on a collision course with the Scylla coaster. But the dueling coasters loop up and turn away from each other at the last second.

"WHOOOHOOOO!" Jonny laughs in excitement while Double-D starts to turn a sickly green as the Scylla coaster goes up into a cobra roll, and Kyle starts to sicken moments later. Several more turns, inversions and near misses later, Scylla and Charybdis start spinning around each other in an interlocking corkscrew. This part gets the best of Double-D, and he pukes as Scylla corkscrews over Charybdis, causing his vomit to rain down onto Sarah! This makes Sarah puke as well, and the sight of Double-D puking makes Kyle (who's sitting behind Double-D) nearly throw up as well, but he holds it in. After they get off the coasters...

"Let's get you cleaned up." Marie takes Double-D away to clean off his vomit.

"So it looks like we both lost one, eh!" Kevin notes the elimination of Double-D and Sarah, but at that moment, Kyle holds his mouth and runs away to puke into a trash can.

_"Make that two for us..."_ Kyle utters before having to puke again, and Jonny & May hold their heads nauseously.

* * *

The next ride is the "FLYING DUTCHMAN" pirate ship, accessed from the boardwalk. The remaining boys and girls hop aboard and seat themselves.

"How are you guys doin?" Kevin asks. Jonny looks sick, along with May and Nazz. The restraining bars come down, then the Dutchman starts to swing.

"Oh God..." Nazz feels it coming, but Jenna tells her to "Hold it in, girl. The ride barely started."

The Flying Dutchman swing back-&-forth higher and higher, eventually passing the 90-degree mark. Everyone SCREAMS as the swinging gets higher and more intense, and Marie notices May holding in her vomit.

"This reminds Rolf of his journey across the Atlantic with his Great Nano!" Rolf tells Kevin and Ed, then Paul starts to sicken with Jonny. Then the Flying Dutchman flies all the way up for a loop.

_"YEEEAAAAHHHHH!"_ Zoe screams excitedly as the Dutchman loops, and Jonny, Paul, May and Nazz all puke on the way back down! After the ride...

"I'm still goin strong!" Ed exclaims, and Rolf hi-fives him.

_"Oww, my stomach..."_ Marie holds her stomach in pain at the boardwalk's railing, near Rachel.

_"Oh fuck."_ the vomit-covered Paul hangs along the boardwalk's railing next to Rachel.

"Gross. Let me clean you up." Rachel gives Paul a "come here" finger. Paul comes, then Rachel suddenly grabs his shirt and throws him down into the ocean. She calls down to him: "YOU'RE CLEAN NOW, HUN!"

_"Ha! You look like you're gonna heave any minute, Kevvie!"_ Jenna laughs at Kevin, but then she feels her own vomit coming, and Kevin smirks as she runs to the boardwalk's railing and pukes into the ocean!

"Hehehe!" Kevin chuckles before nearly puking, but he swallows his vomit. Eddy isn't looking to hot either: "Oh, man..."

* * *

Up next is the "OCTO-TWISTER" tornado ride, with the cars being held by an animatronic purple octopus. Ed, Eddy, Kevin and Rolf hop into one car while Lee, Marie, Rachel and Zoe take another. But Marie isn't looking good.

"Let the dizziness COMMENCE!" Zoe shouts as the ride begins, and Lee tells Marie to "Hang in there, Marie."

Zoe starts turning the wheel to make the car spin wildly, while Ed does the same with the boys.

"Ed, slow down. _You're makin me nauseous!"_ Eddy tells Ed, who keeps spinning. The eliminated boys and girls watch the remaining competitors' cars spinning like crazy as they revolve around.

"GYAHAHAHAHAHA!" Zoe laughs like a maniac as she spins the girls' car, and Marie can take no more. She leans to the side to puke out of the car, and Kevin's cheeks bulge until he hurls too!

_"EWWW!"_ the other boys and girls watch as Kevin's and Marie's vomit splatter all around the ride as their cars revolve around, spinning. The sight makes Jimmy puke into a paper bag, and when the ride finally ends, Eddy falls out of the boys' car as Kevin stumbles off.

_"Dammit, Ed..."_ Eddy utters as he tries to get up, but he pukes as he does so! Lee and Rachel help Marie off their car.

_"I FEEL SO ALIVE!" _Zoe shouts and she jumps out of the car, but then her eyes bug out, her cheeks bulge, and she pukes as well!

_"It all comes down to those four."_ Double-D notes as Ed, Rolf, Lee and Rachel are the only ones left.

* * *

The next ride is a frisbee ride called the "TYPHOON," with the seats facing outwards. Ed, Rolf, Lee and the nauseous Rachel seat themselves in it.

"Oh man, how's this one gonna play out?" Kyle asks as the Typhoon starts swinging and spinning simultaneously.

_"I wanted to ride that so bad."_ Zoe sulks. On the Typhoon, Rachel gets increasingly dizzy as the ride swings higher and spins faster, and by the time the swinging reaches its 180-degree climax, the other three are sickening too.

_"This combined G-force and rotation is too great for Rolf!"_ Rolf tells himself mentally as his cheeks bulge, and Lee & Ed turn green. Rachel is so close to puking that she sheds a tear trying to hold in her increasing vomit.

_"Come on. Come on."_ Marie prays as she, May, Nazz, Jenna and Sarah cross their fingers for Lee & Rachel.

"I don't how much longer this could go on either, Plank." Jonny tells Plank. Then the Typhoon's swinging lowers, and its spinning ceases as the ride slows to a stop. All the watching boys and girls see Ed, Rolf, Lee and Rachel stepping off the ride, none having puked yet!

_"Damn, they're steely as hell!"_ Kevin says in surprise, but as soon as Rachel gets of the Typhoon, she immediately runs out through the ride's exit gate and towards a nearby bathroom. We hear her puking inside. Rolf drops to his knees, holding his stomach in pain, but he leans up before finally puking outwards. His flying vomit blows away Kyle, Sarah, Jonny, Kevin, Nazz, Jenna, Jimmy and the goth boys! Meanwhile, Ed and Lee cringe on the ground, looking at each other.

_"Any-thing, yet?"_ Lee asks.

_"Ugh... Uggghhh!..."_ Ed tries holding in his vomit as it comes up, and Lee does the same. _After a long, agonizing minute..._

_... They BOTH puke, leaving the boys vs girls battle a draw!_

"OH COME ON! WHAT THE FUCK, ED?" Eddy screams in frustration. "NOW WE NEED ANOTHER-"

_"Fuck that, I'm done with this. I'm too sick."_ Paul leaves. May and Marie help up Ed and Lee respectively while Double-D approaches Eddy.

"Well, you know what the Declaration of Sentiments says, Eddy: _Men and women are created equal!" _Double-D says.

"Agh, I wanted to win." Eddy complains:_ "I made a bet with Lee at the start that the boys would win, AND WE DIDN'T! NOW I GOTTA GIVE HER HALF MY MONEY!"_

The seagulls return to crap on Eddy again (ironically alluding back to his claim of the boys winning), much to his anger! "RAAAH!" he tries jumping up to swat at the seagulls, but as they fly away, a pelican swoops down to dump its own (and much bigger) crap on him: _"GAAAH, FUCKIN BIRDS!"_

Eddy throws bottles out from a trash can towards the pelican while Double-D goes to help up Rolf, and they leave with May & Ed, Marie & Lee, and Zoe.

**The End!**

* * *

Trivia: The Scylla and Charybdis coasters were named after two sea monsters from Greek Mythology (those who read Homer's "Odyssey" should know this), and Kevin's & Jenna's deciding to name their first son Drew is a reference to Drew Nelson, my ideal voice actor for my version of Teen Kevin!

I also have another work up on my deviantArt if you wanna check it out!


	45. Past is Ed pt 1

I think it's about time I told you guys, that my finale in June will be four chapters long. That means this will be my final two-part episode, and thanks goes to Actionphoenix260 (formerly known as Captain Eddy) for providing its title.

* * *

_**Episode #23: Past is Ed**_

* * *

We see a picture of May with her hair flowing back, and she's wearing a white v-neck shirt with short sleeves and a pearl necklace. The camera zooms out to reveal her full name under it: "May Elizabeth Kanker-Turner."

"Oh, so that's your picture!" Ed exclaims as he and May look at May's picture, which is accompanied by a smaller picture of a baby May wearing a bunny costume! Then it's revealed that they're looking at May's senior portrait in the PCH yearbook while taking a break from jogging in the PCH athletic field. Ed is wearing a white tanktop, blue shorts and white sneakers while May wears the same tanktop, blue sweatpants, and black converses with her hair in a ponytail.

_"Ain't I pretty?"_ May asks sweetly, then the camera pans away from them to show Lee, Rolf and Nazz jogging around the field's track. Lee has her hair tied into a curly ponytail and is wearing a white t-shirt, yellow shorts, and beige sneakers. Rolf is wearing a gray shirt with a bull logo, blue shorts, and the same sneakers. Nazz is wearing a short-sleeved white hoodie that shows her stomach, black sweatpants that are rolled up a bit, and black-&-white sneakers. She has her hair in a ponytail, and is carrying a water bottle as she jogs. She stops after completing another lap to drink some water by the bleachers. Up on the bleachers...

_"Geez, I look even more like a douche in the yearbook."_ Kevin complains while looking at his yearbook with Jenna on the field's bleachers. Kevin is wearing a gray tanktop, blue shorts, blue-&-white sneakers, and white wristbands. Jenna has her hair in a ponytail and is wearing a black sports bra & headband, gray sweatpants and white sneakers. Kevin is complaining about his senior portrait, in which he's wearing a teal-&-white-striped polo shirt and his usual hat. In his baby picture, he wears a green shirt with a diaper and a slumping red hat similar to the one he now wears. His full name is revealed as "Kevin William Dorn."

"Why do ya always call yourself a douche in your school pictures?" Jenna asks. "I think you look cute!"

"You're just sayin that to make me feel better." Kevin replies, earning him a slap from Jenna: "No, I meant that."

Near them, Double-D is looking through his own yearbook as Jonny comes up. Both are wearing white T-shirts and white sneakers, and Double-D has blue-&-green shorts while Jonny has yellow-&-green shorts plus a white headband. Jonny asks "Yo Double-D, is that the yearbook?"

"Why yes it is, Jonny! They started releasing them after lunch." Double-D answers.

"Oh my god, I wanna see!" Nazz, now having her hood up, rushes up the bleachers to see. She looks into the yearbook with Double-D and Jonny, and looks through pictures with them: "Hehe, wow! Me and Jenn look like goofballs in this one!"

"Sorry Plank, but you didn't make the Class Clown title." Jonny looks at the "Class Clowns" picture, which shows class clowns Ed and Paul doing wacky faces.

"Hehe, Ed! But Double-D, you earn points for helping Ed out all these years._ If not for you, he'd still be the dimwitted oaf he was four years ago."_ Nazz tells Double-D before looking at Kevin and Steve in the "Most Athletic" picture. she comments "Kev and Steve are no surprise there!"

"Rolf wishes to see the contents of the book of memorable memories!" Rolf shoves Jonny aside to see the pages. Rolf got the "Most Unique" title, in which he's doing a peace pose: "Oh, so that's why the photographers requested Rolf's image."

"Look Double-D, we're the most likely to succeed!" Nazz points out herself and Double-D in the "Most Likely to Succeed" picture, then she grabs Double-D: "Let's take another one for memory's sake! Jonny, my camera's in my bag over there."

Jonny goes to take Nazz's digital camera out from her bag, then returns: "Say cheese!"

Jonny takes the picture. It shows Double-D and Nazz, each with an arm over the other's shoulders, and they're making peace signs with their other hands. Nazz approves of it, and hugs Double-D. He hugs her back.

"I'm so proud of you, dude!" Nazz tells Double-D as they hug.

"Likewise, Nazz!" Double-D replies as they release their hug. "So, care to sign my book?"

"Totally!" Nazz goes to her bag to get a pen, but while she does so...

"HEY, I'M SIGNIN IT FIRST!" Marie dashes up and snatches Double-D's yearbook from him. Marie is wearing a gray short-sleeved shirt tied into a knot to show her stomach, black sweatpants that are rolled up like Nazz's, and black sneakers & wristbands. Her hair is in a ponytail like usual.

"Marie, you could've been a little more polite and asked." Double-D reprimands Marie for snatching his yearbook.

"Hey I'm your girlfriend, so I get to sign your book before anyone else. But before that, I wanna see your portrait." Marie turns the pages to Double-D's senior portrait, in which he wears a purple dress shirt with a purple-black-&-gold necktie. Marie comments "Oh, you look so gentlemanly and- AWWW, YOUR BABY PIC'S SO CUTE!"

Marie points at Double-D's baby picture, in which he wears an red one-piece, and has a bucktooth & soft black hair. Then Paul pops up in front of them, wearing a sleeveless red shirt with black shorts and sneakers. He also has a black headband. He shows Double-D, Marie, and the returning Nazz his senior portrait in his own yearbook, in which he's wearing an open black shirt over a white under-shirt and a silver chain. He also removed his du-rag for the picture. His baby picture shows him having an afro and wearing only a diaper.

"Ya'll like my senior pic? I look so sexy, don't I? I don't blame ya for droolin!" Paul boasts. "Ray Ray's is hot, too!"

Paul shows Rachel's senior portrait, in which she wears an off-shoulder black shirt with 3/4 length sleeves and a silver jewel necklace along with her usual choker and flower clip. Her full name is revealed as "Rachel Ann Owens," and her baby picture is her crawling towards the camera while wearing a white one-piece patterned with purple flowers.

"That reminds me, I didn't see Jonny's yet." Nazz says, and Paul turns the pages to Jonny's portrait & baby picture. Jonny is wearing a sleeveless green jacket over a short-sleeved white shirt with his hair done into cornrows like Paul's, and he's holding Plank with him. In his baby picture, he has a single hair and a blue binky, and is wearing a white shirt & diaper. Nazz comments his senior photo: _"You look so handsome!"_

Jonny turns to Nazz's senior portrait and baby picture. In her senior picture, Nazz wears a white dress with pink-&-green flower patterns, and her hair is being blown by a fan. Her full name is revealed as "Nazzarine Arielle Van Bartonschmeer." In her baby picture, she has pigtails done with pink bows, and is wearing purple overalls over a short-sleeved black shirt.

"Damn, Nazz! You grew from a cute baby, to a fat girl, then a pretty girl, _then a pretty woman with sexy cups n curves!"_ Jonny comments.

_"Awww, Jonny!"_ Nazz pulls Jonny in for a kiss, then playfully butts him away with her hip. Then Eddy arrives at the field, wearing a gray t-shirt, orange shorts, and black converses. He's looking into his own yearbook as he enters. Lee greets "Hiya, shortstuff!" as she goes up to him. "Ya got yer yearbook?"

"Yep!" Eddy answers as he and Lee look through the yearbook pages, full of memories with his friends. "Man, I can't believe I used to complain about how every minute felt like an hour, and then the last few years just flew by."

"Feels like yesterday, don't it?" Lee asks, and Eddy answers "Yeah."

"EDDY!" Ed zips past Eddy so fast that it spins Eddy like a tornado, and when Eddy regains himself, he notices that Ed swapped yearbooks with him: "Hey Monobrow, gimme my yearbook back!"

"What, you're sayin I can't sign it?" Ed asks as he pulls a pen out from his ear and uses it to start writing in Eddy's yearbook. "We only got one more summer with each other."

"What? We're gonna see gonna see each other in college... Oh right, I forgot some of the others are goin away for that." Eddy remembers. "Damn, _Ed's right and we're about to graduate..."_

After a moment, a light bulb flashes above Eddy's head: "OH, I GOT SOMETHIN! HEY GUYS, COME OVER HERE!"

The other Eds, Kankers and teens gather around Eddy. Paul asks "What's happenin, McMoney dawg?"

"I wanted to tell you guys that, since our last year together is almost over, I wanna make it as memorable as possible and end it with a BANG!" Eddy shouts.

"You talkin about a senior prank?" Kevin guesses.

"Correctamundo, Kevo!" Eddy answers with his arms spread out. "What senior year would be complete without a good ol fashioned joke on the school and leavin our mark in the process?"

"PLANK SAYS WE DO IT!" Jonny shouts, and all the others start shouting and whooping in agreement, except Double-D, but Eddy pulls him down with an arm around Double-D's shoulder.

"Come on, brainiac, you know you wanna! And we can't do it without ya." Eddy says.

"I don't think we should." Double-D disagrees. "I mean, what if we get caught red-handed?"

"Then we all get in trouble together. Simple as that." Eddy answers, and Ed adds _"It's the togetherness that counts, for we only got two months left before you, Nazz, Rolf, Kevin, Jenn and Rachel go off to those... those... um, those university college places you guys said you were goin to."_

"Well, you do have a point there, but..._ it's so... Oh who am I kidding, I'll participate this time!"_ Double-D decides, and Marie cheerfully elbows him: "That's my boy!"

"So what's the plan, Eddy?" Lee asks with her arms crossed.

"Lee, I'll call you later on so you can relay it to May and Marie." Eddy tells Lee. "As for the rest of you, I'll go into detail on the bus home once this period ends."

* * *

Later, the teens (minus the Kankers) are on the bus ride home, still wearing their phys-ed attire. Nazz and Jenna are singing along to "Your Love Is My Drug" on Jenna's i-pod while Eddy writes the senior prank plans on paper from one of his notebooks.

"Eddy, why don't you just tell us instead of write it down?" Ed asks.

"What, and have everyone else hear it?" Eddy asks back, poking his pencil in Ed's face repeatedly. "This is top secret, _so keep your voice down."_

Eddy starts handing out some written plans to Kevin, Rolf, Jonny and Paul, who reads his: "Hmm, yeah I can get that!"

The bus stops at the cul-de-sacs, and Eddy gives more written plans to his fellow Eds as they walk out.

"You can count on me, sir! This is gonna be the best senior prank EVER!" Ed dashes off after reading his part, and Double-D goes off as well. Nearby, aound the corner of the lane, Zoe overheard Ed.

_"A senior prank? Most wicked!"_ Zoe quickly dashes down to a hole in the lane's right fence, which leads into her backyard. Sarah, Jimmy and Kyle are observing birds in her backyard's tree via binoculars.

"Look Sarah, there's a scarlet tanager right up there!" Jimmy hands the binoculars to Sarah and points out the tanager for her, while Kyle sees Zoe squeeze into the yard through the lane's fence-hole.

"Hey, wassup Zoe?" Kyle asks.

_"The teens are planning a senior prank!"_ Zoe informs with an excited grin. Back at the bus stop, Eddy waits for Nazz and Jenna who come dancing out of the bus while listening to another song on Jenna's i-pod, Nazz holding her hood with her fingers and Jenna snapping hers as they both roll their hips to the beat.

"Here ya go, Jenn!" Eddy hands Jenna's part to her, but she and Nazz keep dancing. So Eddy flicks Jenna's nose to get her attention.

"Oh thanks, Eddy! But flick my nose again and I'll kick your ass." Jenna leaves to her house as Eddy brushes off her threat, then he gives Nazz's part to her as she pulls up her sweatpants from sagging. She reads her part.

"So, think you can get em all before Friday?" Eddy asks, to which Nazz answers "Of course! Daddy has a marble collection that he lets me use!"

"Alright!" Eddy exclaims, turning to walk away. As he goes around the corner into the lane, he tells himself _"This prank is gonna be SO much better than my brother's!"_

Nazz hears Eddy's words as he goes, and her eyes widen upon hearing Eddy mention his brother. She rushes into the lane to confront Eddy about this, but Eddy already vanished. Nazz tries calling Eddy by cellphone, only to discover that he changed his number. She stands silently...

_"Better than... his brother's?..."_ Nazz asks herself after several seconds, holding her stomach with unease:_ "I got a bad feeling about this..."_

* * *

Jonny is buying numerous bags of styrofoam cups at a store when he receives a cellphone call from Nazz. He answers the call: "Hey, Nazzie-bee!"

_"Jonny, Eddy said somethin that sounded fishy to me."_ Nazz explains as she unlocks her house's front door to enter. _"He said how the prank we're doing will be better than his brother's."_

"Better than his brother's?" Jonny asks. "Um, sorry, but I don't see anything wierd about that."

_"But, there's just something about that-"_

"Nazz, I don't mean to interrupt, but I think yer lookin into this bro thing too much." Jonny tells Nazz, who says_ "Then bye."_ and hangs up.

Jenna walks into her room, wearing towels after showering off-screen. Her cellphone on top of her dresser rings, and Jenna picks it up, sees Nazz on the caller ID, and answers "Wassup?"

_"Jenn, I just wanna bring up somethin about our senior prank."_ Nazz explains._ "I've been having a wierd feeling since Eddy said it'll be better than his bro's."_

"So, what about that?" Jenna asks, and Nazz answers _"It's the bro part I'm concerned about. You heard everything about Danny, didn't you?"_

"Yeah, but what does any of that got to do with our prank?" Jenna asks, and Nazz responds _"I don't know, but to me it feels like somethin bad."_

"Girl, I think you're goin loca." Jenna replies. "Now excuse me, _I gotta get dressed and start makin those Spanish signs for the prank."_

Jenna ends the call, so Nazz calls Rolf's house, where Rolf is gathering his chickens and pigs in the kitchen. His house phone rings, and he picks up to hear Nazz: _"Rolf?"_

"Nazz girl?" Rolf asks.

_"Rolf, are you busy right now?"_ Nazz asks as she walks upstairs to her house's second floor. Rolf answers_ "Rolf is numbering his livestock for man-with-the-plan Ed boy's grand prank. Julian included!"_

_"Well, Eddy wanted me to get one million marbles for it, but..."_ Nazz opens a door labeled "Gerald's Marbles" in her house's second-floor hallway. The closet contains her father's marbles, contained in dozens of jars on shelves. Nazz then tells Rolf _"I'm startin to think that this whole scheme isn't gonna end well."_

"Rolf doesn't think so. The Ed boy always has a plan in mind." Rolf replies. "Nazz girl, I say that you- WILFRED, YOU GET OUT OF THERE! WILFRED, OBEY ROLF! WILFRRREEEDDD!"

Rolf's voice is drowned out by Wilfred's and the others pigs' crazy squealing, forcing Nazz to end the call. Meanwhile, in Paul's apartment...

"Hell no, Paul!" Paul's dad tells Paul in their living room while watching TV with his wife.

"Come on, Pops. Please, just this once?" Paul asks, and his mom says "Mike, just let im take yo damn car."

"Lequisha, you don't understand." Paul's dad (Mike) reasons: "You eva see this boy behind the wheel?"

"Paul's gonna keep beggin and I don't wanna hear his mouth all day, so give im the keys and let im go." Paul's mom (Lequisha) tells Mike.

"Fine." Mike tosses his car keys to Paul, who rushes outside and into Mike's orange 1980 Camaro. He backs it out of the driveway and drives through the streets very fast and rather recklessly, almost hitting numerous pedestrians. Then Nazz calls his cellphone: "What it do, Nazzalicious?"

_"Paul, Eddy mentioned that his prank's gonna be better than his brother's, and that's worrying me and making me wonder if we should go through with the prank. It's the whole brother thing."_ Nazz explains.

"... Girl, nothin's gonna happen." Paul replies. "McMoney said he wanted to surpass Big D, so I don't see no prob with that. Now excuse me, _I gotta get to Dickies and-"_ we hear Paul CRASH, abruptly ending the call and forcing Nazz to hang up again. Next, she tries Kevin:

"Hey, Nazz!" Kevin greets, barely managing to pick up because he's carrying a whole bunch of metal parts from the junkyard.

_"Kev, Eddy mentioned how his prank would surpass his brother's."_ Nazz explains. _"Doesn't that make you feel uneasy?"_

"Not really." Kevin answers. "I actually like it! I bet Eddy's will top anything his asshole bro ever did, so I'm stickin with him til we do it on Friday. Now could you call me later, cuz I'm carryin too much junk right now."

"Ok, later." Nazz hangs up and calls Ed, who's buying several bags of balloons: "Hiya Nazz! How's your part goin?"

_"I'm not doin it cuz I got bad-"_ Nazz gets interrupted by Ed's "BUT YOU GOTTA, NAZZ! SENIOR MEMORIES, NAZZ! SENIOR MEMORIES! THINK OF THE MEMORIES!"

_"Ed, just listen to me!"_ Nazz shouts.

_"WE GOTTA LEAVE OUR MARK, NAZZ! WE GOTTA LEAVE OUR MARK!"_ Ed screams and continues to do so, so Nazz gives up and ends the call. She lays on her bed in frustration.

_"Nobody's listening to me."_ Nazz tells herself, then she hears Double-D outside. She looks out her window and sees Double-D leaving Eddy's house, wearing his normal clothes again. He dropped several bottles and containers, and starts picking them back up when Nazz rushes up to him: _"Double-D."_

"What is it, Nazz?" Double-D asks...

* * *

Later at sunset, Lee meets up with Nazz in Double-D's living room. Both girls are wearing their normal clothes again.

"So Lee, what are you and your sisters doing?" Nazz asks.

_"Makin catapults and gatherin oil from one of our neighbors."_ Lee answers as Double-D comes downstairs, writing in a notebook after hearing what Lee just said. Lee then asks "So what's the deal with Eddy?"

"Nazz is having second thoughts about Eddy's senior prank plans, and so am I after what she informed me of." Double-D explains: "According to Nazz, Eddy intends on making his organized prank bigger and better than that of his brother's. Nazz told me of her own, Jenna's and Rolf's roles in the prank, and those also caught my eye of suspicion. So I contacted the others to piece together everyone's parts in this, and..."

"And..." Lee asks in expectation.

_"And... from the looks of it, our senior prank appears to be quite destructive."_ Double-D tells Nazz and Lee, and Nazz says _"I knew it was something along those lines. I felt it in my gut."_

"How destructive are we talkin?" Lee asks.

"It's difficult to predict the ultimate outcome,_ but it'll undoubtedly be much worse than the scam my fellow Eds and I orchestrated in the movie."_ Double-D answers. "And if Eddy intends on having his prank surpass his brother's, then his brother must have done something similar."

"How do we know for sure?" Nazz asks.

"Well, I don't feel that Eddy is the best person to ask about it." Double-D says. "But Nazz, _Erin told me that Principal Antonucci was in office since the time she and Eddy's brother attended Peach Creek High, so I believe that the principal is our best bet. We'll see him tomorrow."_

**To be Continued...**

* * *

Trivia: May's full name, "May Elizabeth Kanker-Turner," was inspired by Elizabeth and Will Turner from the "Pirates of the Caribbean" franchise. I used their names as parallels to May's father Rod, as they all sailed the seas (even though Rod wasn't a pirate).

Sorry this chapter took so long, but my internet has been going on-&-off for the past few days. For this reason, the next chapter may be late as well.


	46. Past is Ed pt 2

I never took part in my class's senior prank, but here's what seven of my classmates did back in 2008 (my graduation year). Our teachers were having a meeting in our school's atrium, and my seven classmates crashed it by bombarding them with water balloons! They were all caught and punished later on with community service, and they weren't allowed to walk at graduation. Anyway, here's the second half of Episode 23!

* * *

The next day at the bus stop, Double-D and Nazz are the first there. Ed and Eddy arrive next.

"Hey Nazz, what's this I'm hearin about you not wantin to go on with the prank?" Eddy asks. "Ed told me yesterday."

"Oh sorry, did I say I didn't wanna do it?" Nazz asks as if Ed and Eddy have misaken, saying "What I meant to say was... um,_ I was calling Ed yesterday about this thing on TV, but I didn't wanna go through with it anymore. So forget it all! No biggie!"_

"But I could've sworn you said-" Ed is interrupted by Double-D popping up in front of him: "I think that you've been watching one too too many reruns of Evil Tim's Revenge, Ed."

Hearing this, Eddy gives an annoyed glance at Ed. He tells Ed "Your parents need to burn that movie."

"NO... but I guess Double-D's right. I did see that movie fourteen times over the past five days." Ed admits, and with him & Eddy off their tails, Nazz and Double-D sigh in relief. Then the other cul-de-sac teens come, with Paul sporting numerous bandages on his face, neck, arms and legs.

"What happened to you, Paul?" Kevin asks.

_"I crashed Pop's car yesterday and he beat the shit outta me for it."_ Paul answers. "It still hurts, and plus, I also gotta buy im a new car."

* * *

In PCH, Lee meets up with Double-D and Nazz in a hallway. Double-D asks "Did he set aside some time to see us?"

"He's busy, so we gotta wait til seventh period." Lee answers.

Later, in seventh period, the teens are having phys-ed class out in the athletic field again. But Double-D, Nazz and Lee aren't with them.

"Where's Nazz?" Jonny asks as he and Jenna look around. "Class is already half-over."

"Double-D and Lee are late, too." Marie notes. "And it ain't like Double-D to miss any class."

In the principal's office, Double-D, Nazz and Lee are sitting in front of Antonucci's desk as Antonucci turns on his chair towards them from the office's window.

"Hello Eddward, Nazzarine and Leah!" Antonucci greets as he turns his chair to face the three teens. "What's the problem?"

"Well, Mr. Antonucci, we set up this meeting and came to hold a discussion regarding Eddy." Double-D explains: "You see, it all started yesterday when Eddy decided to assemble us and our other friends together to organize and execute a senior prank, as does any other high school."

"I see." Antonucci replies. "Continue on."

"We were all likin it at first, but what made us change our minds is..." Nazz pauses for several tense seconds, then says it: "I heard Eddy compare his prank to, and be better than, _his brother's."_

Antonucci's eyes widen upon hearing the mention of Danny.

"I told Double-D about it." Nazz continues.

"And it was Nazz's unease that led me to discover what Eddy's intentions were. He only gave each of us individual parts, but I took the time to put them together, and it revealed Eddy's prank to be a-"

_"Very damaging one."_ Antonucci finishes, and Lee affirms with "Bingo."

"I figured as much. The moment he compared his prank with Daniel's, I already knew what Eddy was going to do." Antonucci says, explaining:_ "Daniel is someone nobody should ever follow or compare themselves to in any light. He was a twisted sadist and was the scourge of this school back when he was around. He stole, he rebelled, he vandalized, he violated, and he broke so many girls' hearts."_

_"Erin..."_ Nazz remembers Erin telling of how Danny dumped her. Nazz then asks "Do you know what his senior prank was?"

"All too well." Antonucci answers. "He and about five or six of his friends carried it out. _Their firecracker act alone destroyed hundreds of dollars worth in school property, including my old office in order to spite me. It wasn't until the following weekend that I learned that Daniel was the mastermind behind it all."_

**Antonucci remembers seeing the school in flaming ruins, in the aftermath of Danny's prank. Others nearby are gasping.**

_"Planning that horrid prank was the most atrocious, evil, unforgivable thing he ever did up to that point."_ Antonucci continues: _"Right after we found out, the boys were arrested, and..."_

"What?" Nazz asks.

_"... We expelled them all."_ Antonucci finishes with dramatic background thunder. Double-D, Nazz and Lee are immensely shocked, and even Lee's covered eye bugs out! They remain in open-jawed shock for several minutes, and Antonucci closes his eyes as he leans his face on his folded hands. It's not until after the end-of-the-day bell rings that one of them finally speaks up:

_"My God. Surpassing Danny's prank, Eddy and the others will get expelled for sure."_ Nazz worries.

"Not to mention Eddy will be behind bars for years to come." Lee adds. _"We gotta stop him and everyone else."_

"I strongly urge you three to do that." Antonucci agrees. "I don't wish give some of my favorite students the boot, and it will be a very dismal graduation without them."

"We promise to persuade each and every one of them out of it, especially Eddy." Double-D shouts to Antonucci as he rushes out with Lee and Nazz.

_"... I sure hope so."_ Antonucci quietly replies before looking out his window to watch all the PCH students leaving aboard the school buses.

* * *

Double-D and Nazz hurry into their bus, but Eddy isn't there. Double-D asks "Where's Eddy?"

"He got out early for some kind of appointment." Ed answers. Nazz says "Guys, we need to stop this!"

"Stop what?" Rolf asks.

"The prank." Nazz answers. "Eddy said his prank was gonna surpass his brother's, but we found out his brother's prank got him expelled."

"Wait, what?" Kevin asks, prompting Double-D to take out the diagram he made of Eddy's whole prank.

"This is the reason I called you guys yesterday evening." Double-D says, showing them Eddy's prank. "You guys remember what happened with that scam of ours four years ago?"

"The one where Eddy pushed that red button?" Ed asks. "Oh, how terrible that was."

"Correct, Ed. _Now all of you picture that, and multiply it by ten. THAT is what THIS will do."_ Double-D tells his friends as they look at the prank diagram.

"THAT'S what Eddy has in mind?" Jonny asks in shock._ "We should've listened, Plank!"_

"Holy shit, yo. All them melons I got are gonna be filled with the Kankers' oil and LIT?" Paul asks.

"This is just cruel! I don't want Meggy gettin that kind of abuse!" Jenna worries, followed by Kevin's "All the chutes I made... are for THIS?"

"Rolf's livestock being used in such a way is intolerable, especially in Julian's case." Rolf protests.

"You see, _this is what Eddy was comparing his brother's prank to."_ Double-D explains: _"We discussed with the principal to make absolutely sure, and he verified it. Eddy's brother's prank got him expelled, and if you guys & Eddy don't stop, the same fate will befall you too."_

Ed starts cartoonishly bouncing from seat-to-seat in panic, and Kevin snatches the prank diagram from Double-D to get a closer look: "Dude, what the fuck is Eddy thinking? We gotta get to his house and take back everything we got for the prank,_ pronto!"_

* * *

Later at sunset, we see the Kankers going down the lane. As they go, May asks "What will we do with the oil if we're takin it back?"

"We're returnin it to Jones." Lee answers.

"Did Eddy say what time the prank will be?" Marie asks.

"Tomorrow at noon." Lee answers. Zoe, hanging upside-down on a tree branch above the lane, heard Lee tell the time of the prank. Zoe grins, and drops out of the tree and through the fence-hole leading to her backyard to go into her kitchen and call Sarah:

"Sarah, the prank's goin down tomorrow at noon!" Zoe informs. "How's the pop comin?"

"Enough to feed a whole town!" Sarah answers, taking a bag of popped popcorn out from her kitchen's microwave and tossing it into a huge pile of other popcorn bags taking up most of the kitchen. She exclaims "And Ed isn't around to eat it all! Speakin of Ed, where is he?"

* * *

Ed is bringing his balloon bags out form Eddy's house, with Double-D and Nazz standing outside the front door.

"Here's the rest, Double-D." Ed says as he takes the balloons to his house. Jonny comes out with his styrofoam cups, Kevin with his chutes (which he made out of the junk he got from the junkyard last chapter), then Paul with several of the watermelons. The Kankers arrive.

"Girls, the oil's up in Eddy's brother's old room." Lee tells her sisters, who go inside to get it before Jenna comes out with all the Spanish signs she made.

"Is everythin out yet?" Lee asks.

"Well, we got all of the balloons and styrofoam cups out." Double-D reports with a clipboard before seeing Jenna with her signs: "Jenna, is that all the signs?"

"Yeah." Jenna answers, and Double-D notes that in his clipboard. He continues: "Kevin still has a few more chutes in there, Rolf untagged all his animals, Paul still has few more watermelons to go, and the stink-bombs Ed & I made are in my garage. So all that's left are your neighbor's oil and the remaining chutes & melons."

_"Yo, Double-D!"_ Eddy calls as he comes over. "I'm still waitin for the last half of the stink-bombs you and Ed were supposed to make at your place. Same goes for the marbles with you, Nazz."

"We're withdrawing our participation from your prank, Eddy." Double-D tells Eddy outright.

"Whoa, what did you just say?" Eddy asks.

"We can't do this, Eddy. _And you shouldn't, either."_ Nazz tells Eddy, and Lee follows with "She's right._ I don't want you gettin expelled."_

_"Huh? Expelled?"_ Eddy asks. "Guys, don't tell me yer all pussin out from paranoia of gettin expelled. That ain't gonna happen!"

"You sure about that?" Kevin asks as he returns. _"You're makin a huge mistake tryin to surpass your bro here."_

"DON'T DO IT, EDDY!" Ed begs as he returns from his house. "YOUR BROTHER IS EVIL!"

_"Armpit's right, man."_ Paul says as he and Jonny return.

"Stop! WHY are you guys bringin up my brother all of a sudden?" Eddy asks.

"YOU, FOLLOWING IN YOUR ELDER SIBLING'S FOOTSTEPS, ED BOY!" Rolf shouts as he and Jonny rush over. Rolf continues: "USING ROLF'S LIVESTOCK IN SUCH A SICKENING PLOY AS YOURS WILL NO LONGER COME TO PASS!"

"Double-D, what in the flying FUCK did ya tell everyone?" Eddy asks Double- D while accusingly poking his chest. Double-D shoves Eddy back.

_"Eddy, your senior prank will be, at the very least, every bit as destructive as that of your brother's."_ Double-D explains._ "We know this because Principal Antonucci said it and he expelled your brother for what he did. And not only that, but he was imprisoned as well."_

"You guys are mistakin! My brother may have got expelled and arrested, _but that ain't happenin with me!"_ Eddy claims. "Yes, my prank will fuck up the school, but-"

"Eddy, we're tellin ya to stop for your own good!" Lee shouts as her sisters come out with the oil barrels. "We don't want ya gettin into trouble!_ We CARE about you!"_

"Why are YOU worryin, Lee?" Eddy asks. "You were just as enthusiastic about this as I was and still am! Stop bullshittin me with this whole expulsion crap!"

Kevin walks up to Eddy, and the returning Jenna watches him tell Eddy_ "If we WEREN'T bullshittin, we wouldn't have taken back all the stuff we got for the prank. What does that tell ya?"_

"You guys did WHAT?" Eddy asks in shock, and Nazz comes between him & Kevin, replying "We had to, Eddy!"

"See, Nazz knows what's up. Now I'm takin those last few chutes and throwin em in the junkyard." Kevin tries going into Eddy's house, but Eddy throws him back from it. Kevin tries getting past Eddy, but a fight quickly erupts between them! Sarah and Jimmy watch from their living room windows as Ed, Double-D, Jonny, Nazz, Lee & Marie try breaking up the fight, but with little success. Jenna jumps in and starts beating on Eddy, allowing Rolf and Paul to pull Kevin away while Lee breaks up the fight between Eddy & Jenna. They and Kevin are now bruised and their clothes are torn.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM, EDDY?" Jenna angrily asks.

"WHAT'S MY PROBLEM? WHAT THE FUCK ARE ALL YOUR PROBLEMS WITH MY PRANK?" Eddy asks back.

"YOUR PRANK'S GONNA FUCKIN DESTROY THE SCHOOL, YET YOU STILL WANNA DO IT LIKE THE STUPID DOUCHEY SHITBAG YOU ARE!" Kevin yells.

"DO YOU WANNA GO TO PRISON, EDDY?" Ed asks.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH THAT!" Eddy screams, pushing Ed away before attempting to take the oil barrels from the resisting May, but Lee & Marie throw him across the street and hard against a house's wall.

"FUCK OFF, EDDY!" Marie shouts, and Lee yells _"THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO STOP, HONEY!"_

"AAARRRGH, I'VE HAD IT!" Eddy yells in rage as he gets up. _"I AM SICK AND FUCKIN TIRED OF YOU GUYS TELLIN ME TO CANCEL THE PRANK! JUST BECAUSE MY BROTHER GOT EXPELLED FOR HIS DOESN'T MEAN I WILL TOO! I TOLD YOU ALL THAT I'LL BE BETTER THAN HIM!"_

"TELL US HOW YER BEIN BETTER THAN HIM RIGHT NOW!" Lee demands.

"I AGREE! HELL, IF ANYTHING, _YOU'VE BECOME EXACTLY LIKE YOUR BROTHER BY PERSISTING WITH THIS ABOMINABLE EXCUSE FOR A PRANK!"_ Double-D tells Eddy, who turns red and his hairs burn down like fuses until...

_"RRRRAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!"_ Eddy explodes into the air, across the street, and down towards Double-D. Marie zips in front of Double-D and grabs Eddy's fist, then everyone else jumps on Eddy, beat him down in a huge fight cloud, and throw him through his house's doorway. Eddy's clothes have been almost completely ripped off, he is heavily bruised, grossly black-eyed, and he lost several teeth!

_"Fuck it. Plank and I had enough of your shit."_ Jonny leaves.

_"Same here."_ Paul leaves. Jenna flips off Eddy as she leaves with Kevin. Then Rolf leaves, then Marie...

_"Hymph."_ Ed and May leave in disgust, May taking the oil barrels with her. Lee, Nazz and Double-D glare at Eddy, and Lee sheds a tear...

_"Now now, Lee."_ Double-D comforts Lee, and they leave along with Nazz while Eddy slowly gets up on his feet and snaps his spine back into place. He limps out onto his lawn.

_"... FINE! GO AWAY! I DON'T NEED ANY OF YA! YOU HEAR ME? I'LL CARRY OUT THE SENIOR PRANK ALL BY MYSELF!"_ Eddy yells in rage. Sarah and Jimmy hear this, and Sarah grabs her house phone to call Zoe & Kyle.

* * *

Eddy spends the night gathering substitute material for his prank, including cooking oil, bowling balls, the stink-bombs in Double-D's garage, and the remaining chutes & watermelons that Kevin & Paul didn't dispose of. He uses a clump of vegetables tied to a string to lure some pigs out of Rolf's shed, and he puts them into a wheelbarrow along with everything he collected. He takes his wheelbarrow down the lane, with the pajama-wearing Zoe and Kyle watching from over Zoe's part of the fence.

_"Let's follow him!"_ Zoe whispers to Kyle, and they quietly follow with Sarah & Jimmy (also in their pajamas) joining them. They follow Eddy to the junkyard, where Eddy retrieves the chutes Kevin threw out. Zoe, Kyle, Jimmy and Sarah then follow Eddy to PCH, where they hide inside a courtyard bush and watch while Eddy leaves the wheelbarrow near the stairs of a side door and goes to the trailer park to take the Kankers' three catapults, which they left outside. Eddy brings them over one-by-one, then plucks one of his hairs to use for unlocking the school's side door. But while he does so...

**_"I destroyed the school and other shit, but that earned me respect!" _**Danny says in Eddy's memory as they fought in "Return of the Eds."

**"YOUR PRANK'S GONNA FUCKIN DESTROY THE SCHOOL, YET YOU STILL WANNA DO IT LIKE THE STUPID DOUCHEY SHITBAG YOU ARE!"** Kevin yells in Eddy's memory.

**"DO YOU WANNA GO TO PRISON, EDDY?"** Ed asked.

**"TELL US HOW YER BEIN BETTER THAN HIM RIGHT NOW!"** Lee demanded.

_**"YOU'VE BECOME EXACTLY LIKE YOUR BROTHER BY PERSISTING WITH THIS ABOMINABLE EXCUSE FOR A PRANK!"**_ Double-D yelled, and Eddy sweats as he has one more, previously unseen flashback from "Return of the Eds:"

**Eddy watches Danny lay on the McGees' back porch after getting beaten to a pulp by Erin with the torchiere. Roger drags Danny by his ankle into the living room, and Eddy, Erin & Gladys follow. They watch as Roger tapes the half-conscious Danny to the sofa to immobilize him.**

**"It's a real shame you never listened to us, Daniel." Roger tells Danny before going outside to wait for the FBI's arrival. Erin and Gladys soon join him, but Eddy stays in the living room with Danny, who smirks.**

**_"Hehe!..."_ Danny weakly chuckles.**

**"What's so funny?" Eddy asks, approaching his restrained brother.**

**_"It's funny... how you... forced me into submission... with that milk carton!"_ Danny says, referring to how Eddy defeated Danny by threatening to make him drink milk.**

**"Yeah, your reaction was pretty hilarious!" Eddy replies with a smirk of his own.**

**"No, not that..." Danny says._ "... What you did... You used fear... and showed no mercy!... Hehehe!"_ he chuckles before coughing, then finishes with _"Eddy, you're... becoming more like me!... Hehehehe!... I could totally see you... destroyin things... like I did!"_**

**Eddy's eyes widen, then he asks "... Me?... _Becomin more like you?... That's even more hilarious!"_**

**"How so?" Danny asks, and Eddy moves to his ear.**

**_"Because I'll never steep so low as to do anything like that or anything near it. Lemme tell you what I'll become."_ Eddy whispers: _"I'll become a greater person than you ever were. Count on it..."_**

**End Flashback**

Eddy drops the hair he was using to open the side door with. He turns away from the door, walks down the few small steps leading to it, and drops to his knees in despair.

_"What am I doing?"_ Eddy asks himself._ "How could I fall so low like he did?... How could I be so stupid to forget that?"_

"Why's he just sittin there?" Sarah asks as Eddy continues berating himself:

_"Here I am, callin myself shit for becoming exactly what bro predicted."_ he tells himself. _"To say I would become better than him by doin this? I only played myself. I can't do this anymore... I won't do this anymore, to prove how much better I am than Danny was... and to get my friends back..."_

Eddy gets up and leaves, and Sarah sticks her head out of the bush after hearing everything he said. She sarcastically complains "Oh great, there goes our show here!"

Zoe, Jimmy and Kyle poke their heads out, and Zoe replies to Sarah:_ "Actually, the show could still go on!"_

Since Eddy left behind all the prank materials, Zoe takes the wheelbarrow while Sarah, Jimmy and Kyle each take a catapult. As they go, Zoe tells her friends "I found a huge stash of marbles in the junkyard a few days ago, and got a red shirt in my closet to lure Julian!"

* * *

The next day in the PCH cafeteria, Eddy is eating with the boys, except for the absent Rolf, at their usual table when Jonny looks at his cellphone for the time. It hits 12 noon.

"Well, it's noon!" Jonny tells the other boys, and Kevin replies "The prank would've started right now if you didn't quit at the last moment, Eddy!"

_"We're very glad that you made the right choice in the end, Eddy!"_ Double-D tells Eddy. _"Lee would've broken up with you for sure if you did it."_

At her table, Lee and her sisters smile at Eddy, and so do Nazz & Jenna from their table.

"But what are we gonna do for our senior prank now?" Ed asks, to which Jonny replies "Plank had an idea for a while! Let's hear him out!"

All the boys listen to Jonny, except Eddy and Double-D because Eddy is telling Double-D: "Even though I didn't do it, _I still feel like I forgot somethin last night."_

Rolf arrives, and Double-D greets "Hello, Rolf! Why were you so late today?"

_"Wilfred, Meggy, Harold, Irene and Julian all disappeared from Rolf's farm last night!"_ Rolf answers in worry. _"Have any of you seen them on your way here?"

* * *

_

Meanwhile, at PCJH, we hear several explosions, followed by the squealing of the missing pigs (Wilfred, Meggy, Harold & Irene). We then hear total mayhem in the school as bowling balls fly out through the walls and windows, and we hear students & staff screaming! Zoe, Sarah, Jimmy and Kyle are watching from the school's camera room, eating their popcorn while people in the hallways and stairwells get bowling balls dropped onto them from chutes placed throughout the school. The people struck by bowling balls fall onto styrofoam cups, spilling marbles out of them and causing more people to trip in the hallways & stairs. Julian BELLOWS as he explodes out from a classroom, destroys rows of lockers, and chases some red-wearing teachers out through a wall!

"Wow, it's incredible what a few exploding melons could set off!" Kyle comments.

_"Here comes the stink-bomb traps!"_ Zoe exclaims as we hear stink-bombs pelting unfortunate students and teachers, though it isn't shown to us. Zoe laughs "HAHAHAHA, THE PIGS GOT HIT, TOO!"

"I think Wilfred just got hit by a bowling ball." Jimmy says, but Sarah replies "He'll be better once this episode ends! We'll just tell Rolf they all escaped and we found em. He'll believe us."

"Summer is sooooooo startin early with this!" Zoe giggles eagerly. And with that, the four continue to watch the outdoor cameras as more students & staff run out through the doors, pulling cords connected to the doors and thus triggering the catapults, which hurl larger stink-bombs at them. Julian gets hit as well, but he's unaffected and continues to send parked vehicles flying, one of which is hurled right into the screen, making it go black!

**The End!**

* * *

Trivia: The "Evil Tim's Revenge" movie mentioned at the beginning of this chapter is based on the Evil Tim comic Ed read in "It Came From Outer Ed," and Lee saying that she & he sisters would return the oil barrels to their neighbor Jones is a throwback to BPS, in which one of the trailers shown has the surname "Jones" on it. And as another parallel to the never-explained BPS scam, I decided to keep Eddy's and Danny's senior pranks ambiguous for the most part (except the ending where Eddy's was mostly/fully revealed).

Well, this is it for my two-part episodes. Coming up next... is the Teen Series' four-chapter FINALE! But for those who think I am leaving afterwards, no I am not. I'll be done with writing fics and I won't be coming around much, but I'll still visit every few weeks to see how you guys are doing. I'll tell you more later.


	47. EEnE's Fantastic Finale pt 1

The moment you've all been waiting for has come! The first part of my four-chapter finale is here and ready to be enjoyed! However, this chapter is more of an emotional and plot-based type, so most of the humor and other good stuff won't come until next chapter. By the way, if you didn't already know, parts of this were foreshadowed in my earlier episodes "Eds n Chips" and "Return of the Eds" via the newspaper scene in the former (chapter 31) and the final scene in the latter (chapter 40).

* * *

From the air, we see the sun slowly rising over the horizon, lighting up the sky, the clouds, and the suburbs of Peach Creek. As the screen pans down from the sky towards the neighborhood, the EEnE logo appears and is joined by word-shaped clouds to form the title:

* * *

_**Ed, Edd n Eddy's Fantastic Finale**_

* * *

The title disperses as the screen pans through the streets of Peach Creek. The first credits appear as ads on the windows of Main Street's stores, and another appears on the ad of a public bus at a bus stop. More appear on the message board in front of PCH, then after the screen takes a right from the high school onto another major street, it goes past St. Vincent's Church and down the street, passing a few cars before turning onto the dirt road leading to the trailer park. More credits appear as logos on shirts hanging on the trailers' clotheslines, then the screen goes to the trailer park's creek bridge before turning and following the creek. The creek eventually enters an arc-shaped tunnel behind Kyle's backyard, so the screen pans up, goes over Kyle's house, and descends left towards Jenna's lawn, where another credit is seen mowed into the grass. The screen then diagonally crosses the second cul-de-sac towards Zoe's house and into her backyard, where we see Sparky run around before urinating another credit onto a rock! The screen then goes through the hole in Zoe's backyard fence, leading into the lane where we see more credits painted onto the opposite fence, then the screen jumps the fence into Ed's & Sarah's backyard. The screen stops panning at Ed's window, where the morning sunlight shines through into his room, and we see the final opening credits on comics scattered across his floor.

The sunlight from his window hits Ed himself in the face, waking him up. He shields his eyes from the sunlight as he gets up from bed, letting out a cartoonishly big yawn while doing so.

"Wow, morning already?" Ed asks himself as he looks outside, then he jumps into the dryer outside his room's door. He jumps out wearing his mother's lingerie, and upon realizing this, he shrieks and quickly jumps back in to re-emerge in his normal clothes. He then rushes upstairs while doing his trademark laugh!

Ed enters his living room, where his parents are watching the news. Angela is wearing a fluffy turquoise robe while Stan wears orange pajamas. Sarah, also in her pajamas, comes downstairs and joins Ed in seeing their parents' appalled faces at the news:

_"I can NOT believe this!"_ Angela shouts. Sarah asks "What's wrong, Mom?"

"Look." Stan points at the news on TV, explaining _"The CEO of the Econo Company is tearing down Peach Creek."_

"WHAT?" Ed and Sarah ask simultaneously in surprise. Meanwhile, Double-D, wearing his yellow pajamas, is watching it on his living room TV as well. The Econo CEO appears on the screen, revealing him to be the same blue-suited man who appeared at the end of "Return of the Eds." His name is revealed as "FREDDIE KANKER: ECONO COMPANY CEO."

"This... This can't be..." Double-D utters as Freddie talks on the news:

_"I have discussed the plans for our new facility with Mayor Berner, and he has approved."_ Freddie explains: _"We of the Econo are expanding our number of facilities to increase our production of consumer goods and satisfy the growing needs of the growing American population. So we decided that, in seven days, Peach Creek shall be-"_

_"- Torn down."_ Roger tells Eddy, who is putting on his regular clothes after taking a shower (with steam still emanating from his bathroom). Eddy is shocked by what his father just told him.

"Seven days, as in, exactly one week from now?" Eddy asks as if about to spaz out.

"Do I need to tell ya twice?" Roger asks back. "Your graduation next Friday has been held off for a later time. They haven't decided the time or location yet."

_"They can't do that!"_ Eddy protests. Meanwhile, at Nazz's house, Nazz has halted brushing her hair in the bathroom as Tabby tells her "It's no use, Nazzarine. What's been done is done._ We'll start packing up on Sunday."_

_"But, if we move away..."_ Nazz begins...

_"... I'll never see my friends again."_ Jimmy, in his pajamas, cries into Wendy's chest in their living room. Wendy comforts her son.

Kevin, wearing his normal clothes, sits with his head down on his kitchen table after hearing the news, unable to eat breakfast with Peter. He only utters to Peter: _"I can't believe this, Dad."_

Rolf saw the news on his bedroom TV as he changed into his normal clothes. He sits on his bed after putting his shirt on, putting his hands on his face in frustration as he mutters something in his native language.

Jonny, already in his normal clothes, grabs Plank off one of his bedroom shelves and tells him _"Looks like it's the beginning of the end of our time here, buddy. God, what am I gonna tell Nazz?"_

At Zoe's house, we get a full view of Zoe's orange-colored room (which was darkened in "Eds n Chips" since it was nighttime). Zoe has a ladder-accessed loft bed with stocked shelves and a desk under it; the desk having a mirror, goose-neck lamp and radio system on it. On her room's other side are a dresser & TV near the door and a wardrobe near the window, and there's posters on the wall opposite the window. Zoe herself, still wearing her pajamas as she takes her normal clothes out from her wardrobe, has been told of the news by Laurie who's holding the crying Kenny (Zoe's baby brother from "Holly Jolly Holiday") in her arms. Zoe appears to be very upset by it.

"I know how sudden and hard it is, Amy, but we have to move on." Laurie tells Zoe, who merely replies _"But, that... that... that isn't wicked at all, Mommy."_

Kyle, sitting on his bed and still wearing his bedtime clothes, is playing a sad tune on his guitar after hearing the news from Becky. Becky tells her son "I'm sorry I had to tell you that, Kyle." before leaving his room.

Jenna's parents embrace her as she cries on their living room sofa. She's wearing her normal clothes.

_"[I'll never see any of them again.]"_ Jenna tells her parents in Spanish before emotionally crying _"[And... and... I'LL NEVER SEE KEVIN AGAIN! WAAAAAAHHH!]"_

"[It'll be ok, Jennifer.]" Manuel tries comforting his hurt daughter, and Vanessa says "[We'll find a way so you can still see Kevin. We promise.]"

Paul's house is in unrest at the news. His parents and older relatives are angrily complaining and fussing, while the younger ones are all in panic mode.

_"Where we gonna go, Mama?"_ Paul asks Lequisha in their kitchen, who answers "The hell you askin me? That muthafucka Freddie came outta nowhere with that shit."

"And seven days ain't _nearly_ long enough to get ALL of us outta here." Mike adds as he enters the kitchen.

At Rachel's house, she and Nikki have just seen the news on their living room TV. Rachel is wearing a black, short-sleeved nightgown while Nikki's is purple, full-length, sleeveless and has a v-neck.

_"And I thought we would stay here for years to come."_ Nikki says, while Rachel has a sad look on her face.

In the Kanker trailer, the sisters, all still in their sleep attire, watched the news with the robe-wearing Ursula in their living room. Ursula slumps her head down in frustration.

_"Uncle Freddie's not even sparing the trailer park?"_ Lee asks in disbelief. May shouts to Ursula: _"Mom, do somethin! Uncle Freddie will listen to you!"_

"No he won't." Ursula replies.

"Why not?" Lee asks.

"Cuz unlike me, Fred is no dropout." Ursula explains:_ "He graduated at the top of all his classes, both in high school and business school. He was considered a prodigy and everything always went perfectly for him. And whenever it didn't, he always played his cards to ensure it did. That's how he became so rich and powerful. A symbol of Corporate America."_

"But you can at least try talkin something into him, right?" Marie asks. "I mean, he's your brother."

"As much as I'd love to, Fred never listened to me, and there's nothin I can do if I stand up to him now. _He and the Econo are big while we're small, and the fact that Peach Creek is on Kanker-owned land is what allowed him to do this in the first place. I'm sorry, girls."_ Ursula tells he daughters. May begins to cry.

_"We.. We'll... never see our boys again if we have to move away."_ May sobs, and Marie also sheds a tear. Lee then tells her sisters "Let's just go get ready for school. Rach will be comin in a little bit."

* * *

Later, all the teens including the goths meet up in a PCH hallway. Kevin starts the conversation with "It feels like a bad dream, doesn't it?"

"That's puttin it lightly." Eddy says. "But fuck, did that Freddie guy have to come right in during graduation week? Lee, Marie, May, you three know him by any chance since he's a Kanker?"

_"He's their uncle."_ Double-D answers. _"Their mother's older brother, to be exact."_

"Why didn't ya tell any of us that?" Eddy asks angrily. Double-D answers "I did, but it isn't my fault nobody ever listens to me."

"We tried to persuade Mom into talking to Uncle Fred, but it didn't work." Lee says. Ed's lip quivers.

_"Peach Creek's Doomsday means WE GOTTA MOVE AWAY!"_ Ed cries. _"ALL YOU GUYS, I'M GONNA MISS SO MUCH! WAHAHAHAAAHH!"_

May hugs Ed and they cry together. Double-D pulls out an umbrella from inside his hat to shield himself from their deluge of tears while Eddy, Kevin, Jonny and Paul get drenched. Plank flies out from the tears, then bloats up from having absorbed said tears. Nazz picks him up.

_"Guys, I just wanna say that, since chances are we probably won't ever see each other again after we move out, I just wanna spend every day with you guys til Mon and I move away."_ Nazz tells her friends tearfully.

"Why must this town of all towns be situated within the property of the Kanker clan?" Rolf asks. "I ask you."

"Lord Benedict Kanker won it over from Eddy's ancestors back in 1705." Double-D answers, embracing Marie. "And at this moment, I'm wishing that gambling match never came to pass. _That way, we wouldn't have to be torn apart like this."_

"The rest of us feel the same way." Rachel says in agreement. "And just when I was starting to open up a little more and get closer with the rest of you."

"So what do we do?" Jenna asks before they all get washed down the hall, and out through windows along with many other students by Ed's and May's surging tears.

"Damn, Armpit and Buckwild are takin it real hard." Paul comments.

"I don't even know if I can do my last final knowin about next week." Jonny says as he pulls Eddy out of the ground by his legs.

_"We... We have to go on, guys."_ Double-D tells his friends as he gets up with them, but Marie grabs Double-D, about to cry.

_"I can't go on. Not without you."_ Marie tells Double-D while breaking into tears: _"I just can't. You're one of a kind and I'll never meet any other boy like you! You're the only one who can make me feel special! If you go, then I- I- HWAAAHHH!"_

"Let's get outta here before we get washed off again!" Sean shouts as he, Bill and Dean dash off at cartoon-speed. Seeing Marie cry into Double-D's shoulder, Eddy's eyes start to well up, too!

_"Eddy, are you..."_ Lee goes up to Eddy, but he turns away and replies _"No I ain't cryin. I don't cry... OH WHO AM I KIDDIN? WAAAAHAAAAAAAHAHAAAAH!"_

Lee picks up and hugs Eddy while Jonny & Kevin hug the also-crying Nazz & Jenna, respectively. Gray clouds move in and it starts to rain.

"This weather fits this moment's gloomy mood perfectly." Rachel comments, and Paul bobs his head in agreement:_ "Makes me wanna cry, too. But I can't cuz I'm... I'm a man and... and... I'll be a pussy if I do."_

Paul starts to break down, so Rachel comforts him with a hug.

"You shouldn't follow what the common crowd says." Rachel tells Paul. "Even Rolf and Eddy are crying, so why not you?_ Given these circumstances, we all have a reason to cry."_

* * *

Later on, Sarah, Jimmy, Kyle and Zoe shelter from the rain in Zoe's house. Sarah and Kyle are sitting on the living room's sofa, with Kyle playing another sad guitar tune.

_"Kyle, please. That tune is depressing."_ Sarah pleads for Kyle to stop, and Kyle does so after seeing Sarah wipe tears off her face. He apologizes: "Sorry, Sarah."

In Zoe's room, Zoe and Jimmy watch the rain outside through the window, which shows a full view of the Navarros' backyard and the parts of the playground & lane bordering it. Zoe notices Jimmy starting to cry again.

"Oh, Jimmy." Zoe gives Jimmy a comforting hug.

_"Zoe... I never told you this, but... I always liked your hugs."_ Jimmy tells Zoe between his crying: _"You're so warm and... and... you always cheer me up when I'm down! I'm gonna miss you so much."_

_"Awww, I'm gonna miss you and your cute baby face, too!"_ Zoe replies._ "But remember this. Even after we move out and go our separate ways, we'll always be in each others' hearts! Ok, Jim Jim?"_

With that, Zoe kisses Jimmy's cheek and they continue looking out through Zoe's window at the rain. They see the teens getting dropped off at their bus stop by the lane's entrance.

* * *

The teens run through the rain to their houses. But when Double-D reaches his, he notices two SUVs in front with the "Econo" logo on their sides, as well as his parents' car in the driveway.

"Mother and Father are here?... _And people from the Econo Company?"_ Double-D asks in confusion. He enters his house, but as soon as he comes through the front door, his mother Phoebe grabs him and brings him behind their sofa.

"Eddward, listen to me very carefully." Phoebe begins as we hear footsteps coming downstairs. She gives Double-D a key and a letter: _"Here's a very important letter and the key to your father's office upstairs. But stay hidden behind here until they're gone."_

"Until who's gone?" Double-D asks right before Phoebe gets grabbed by her hair-bun which was visible behind the sofa, making her squeal out in pain as she's pulled up and over the sofa. Double-D stays low and peeks to see who took Phoebe. She was taken by two gray-suited men who are taking her away roughly, then two more come down with Morgan in their clutches.

"Mother!... Father!..." Double-D whispers fearfully as the four men take his parents out and throw them into their Econo SUVs. Once they drive away, Double-D opens the letter, which also has a card key inside, though its details aren't shown. Double-D tries reading the letter, but the contents are written extremely small, so he uses a magnifying glass from inside his hat to read it. The letter begins with "Freddie Kanker," but the remainder is written as a code consisting of a very long list of book titles (three of which are "Mooney's Rules of Marketing,""Keenan's Guide to Physics," and "Foreign Languages with Peter Kelamis") with a series of page and word numbers assigned to each along with punctuation placements. Double-D recognizes the book titles as "Father's books," and he uses Morgan's key to open his office upstairs. He switches the light on, and we see that Morgan's room has a desk along with shelves containing dozens of books and weird contraptions.

* * *

Meanwhile, Ed and Eddy are at Ed's house, where Eddy is helping Ed pack his things up by putting all his wall sponges into bags while Ed tosses them out bunch-by-bunch after ripping the walls out off-screen. Ed still cries as he does so.

"Ed, please stop the crying, man. You're makin me lose it again like in Season 3." Eddy tearfully tells Ed. "I know we only got a few days left together, _but you're..."_

_"I need a bro hug, Eddy."_ Ed says, so Eddy complies. Ed picks him up and gives him a huge manly bear-hug, to which the suffocating Eddy squeals _"Ok Lumpy, you can let go now!"_

"Edwin, Eddy. Double-D is calling." Angela calls from upstairs, so Ed and Eddy rush up. Angela gives Eddy the phone.

_"Eddy, my parents left me a code regarding Freddie Kanker."_ Double-D tells Eddy.

"Freddie Kanker?" Eddy asks. "A code? For what?"

_"I don't know yet, but it seems very crucial if my parents wrote it in code. And whatever it is, they were abducted by Econo workers a minute ago for it."_ Double-D explains.

"Econo?" Ed asks, and Eddy replies to Double-D: "Sounds like somethin is up with that Freddie dude."

_"My suspicions exactly, Eddy."_ Double-D says as he starts taking books out from his father's shelves: "I'm going to start deciphering the code right now. But judging from the code's length, it'll take about four to five days to decipher on my own. Assistance will be required."

"Yeah, you start crackin that code, Sockhead. Ed and I will get Nazz and Jenn over there to help." Eddy says before ending the call, then he tells Ed "Let's get the girls."

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

Trivia: Mayor Berner is named after another of the show's writers, Geoff Berner. And the three book titles within the coded message are named after director Russ Mooney, Jimmy's voice actor Keenan Christensen, and Rolf's voice actor Peter Kelamis. The Econo Company is a food-producing industry in the EEnE universe. Ed ate a box of Econo Bran Muffins in "A Glass of Warm Ed," and there's also a box of Econo Beans in Eddy's brother's room. Seeing how these Econo products were background material in the series, I chose the company as a primary focus in these chapters to give the EEnE universe more of an expanded vibe.

Oh, and since I'm wrapping up the Teen Series, I wanna know how you guys think I've done via several questions. The one for this chapter is: What are your top five Teen Series episodes (not including this one since it isn't finished), and why? PM your answers to me; don't include them in your reviews.


	48. EEnE's Fantastic Finale pt 2

I sincerely apologize for taking so long with this chapter. It's because one of my older brothers attempted suicide by overdosing on pills, and we went to visit him a few times in the hospital. But he's on the road to recovery now, so that enabled me to get this chapter up! Enjoy!

* * *

In an urban area, we see a tall building with its name across the top: "ECONO INC." Up in one of its offices, Freddie Kanker is sitting at his desk while talking with his assistant, who appeared alongside him at the end of "Return of the Eds."

"The layout for the new facility has been decided thirty minutes ago, sir." Freddie's assistant gives him the blueprints for their new Econo facility.

"Excellent! Now go make sure that the demolition and construction workers have been notified." Freddie orders, and his assistant goes to do so while Freddie contently puts the blueprints inside his suit. Looking at his wristwatch, he pulls up his sleeve to reveal a second watch, a stopwatch to be exact, that's showing a countdown.

_"Six days, seven hours and twelve minutes to go!"_ Freddie says with a wide grin. _"Lord Benedict, Peach Creek has been reclaimed!"_

* * *

Back in Double-D's house, in Morgan's office, Nazz and Jenna are aiding Double-D in deciphering the code. Nazz is looking at the code numbers with Double-D's magnifying glass, Jenna is looking for the words the numbers correspond to, and Double-D is writing them down.

"The next two words are the twenty-third and twenty-fourth one on page 349." Nazz tells Jenna, who finds the words in the book she's currently searching through and relays it to Double-D: "Won back."

Double-D writes down "won back" into his notebook. Down in Double-D's living room, Eddy calls the Kanker trailer. May picks up: _"Hello?"_

"May, listen up. _This is about your uncle."_ Eddy begins.

"Who? Freddie?" May asks, then Marie tries taking the phone: "FREDDIE? GIMME THE PHONE, I'M GIVIN HIM A PIECE OF MY MIND!"

"LET GO!" May shouts as Eddy hears her and Marie fight over the phone, with Eddy having a "what the hell's going on" look on his face. Lee comes, smacks her sisters away, and takes the phone: "Who is this?"

_"Eddy."_ Eddy answers._ "Double-D got this letter about your uncle Freddie from his parents, but it's written in code."_

"A code about Freddie?" Lee asks. Eddy answers "Yeah, and we're crackin it right now. But Double-D said it'll take a while."

_"How long will that 'while' take?"_ Lee asks, but Eddy answers "... Beats me, but I hope it ain't long."

Nazz, Jenna and Double-D continue to decipher the code well into the nighttime before stopping around midnight, as shown by a clock on the wall. They continue working on the code the next day.

"The ninety-eighth word on page 117." Nazz tells Jenna, who looks into the book being searched through. She relays it to Double-D: "Ripped."

Outside, all the kids and teens except Rachel are waiting outside on Double-D's lawn. Eddy and Kevin enter through the front door. Eddy shouts up to Double-D, Nazz and Jenna: "YO, GUYS!"

"IS IT DONE YET?" Kevin asks. Jimmy warns "It isn't wise to rush them."

"Yeah, Mom told me that rushin could stress dudes out." Kyle adds. Back in Morgan's office, Nazz tells Jenna "The fifty-second word on page 296."

Jenna searches another book for the word, and she relays it to Double-D: "Copies."

Double-D writes "copies" in and continues until nightfall again. They continue the next day, but some of the teens and kids outside are growing more impatient. Kyle stops Sarah from leaving, and she complains "Why not call them again? It's been another damn hour."

"But you and the rest were rushin those three all day today." Kyle reasons.

"Yeah, your yelling ain't helpin either, Plank." Jonny scolds Plank.

"What's taking em so long?" May asks while sitting with Ed, and Rolf agrees while laying on the ground near them: "Yes, Rolf too wishes for the decoding to finish today."

Lee and Marie are impati'ently tapping their feet while having their arms crossed, then Paul asks while taking out his phone "How long is that damn code?"

Sarah snatches Pauls phone after he dials, and she yells "HURRY UP, SLOTHS!"

"FIVE DAYS, GUYS!" Ed yells desperately.

"THE CLOCK'S TICKING, LADIES!" Kevin yells into his phone, causing Marie to give him a mean look: _"You did NOT just call Double-D a lady."_

In Morgan's office, Double-D is sweating under the pressure, and he slows to a stop because of it. Outside...

"That's it, I'm gonna go rush em. I don't care about stressing em. Time's of the essence here." Eddy says as he goes to open Double-D's front door, but Jenna slams it open from inside first, squashing Eddy against the other side. Jenna looks furious.

"Hey guys, I got great news!" Jenna begins: "DOUBLE-D CRACKED NOT THE CODE, BUT UNDER THE FUCKIN PRESSURE YOU IMPATIENT ASS-WIPES PUT ON HIM! HE CAN BARELY WORK ANYMORE NOW! WE WERE TRYNA GO AS FAST AS WE WERE ABLE TO AND DOUBLE-D TOLD YOU ALL THAT IT WOULD TAKE A LONG TIME! AND HE'S RIGHT, I DO WONDER WHY NOBODY LISTENS TO HIM! YOU GUYS AIN'T THE ONES CRACKIN THE CODE! HE, ME AND NAZZ ARE, BUT NOW IT'S ONLY ME AND NAZZ BECAUSE OF YOU GUYS RUSHIN DOUBLE-D OUT WITH YO GODDAMN CALLS AND YELLING! WAY TO FUCKIN GO! WE WOULD'VE FINISHED THE DECIPHERING TODAY IF IT WEREN'T FOR YA'LL; INSTEAD, YOU JUST EARNED YOURSELVES ANOTHER NIGHT OF WAITING! CONGRATU-FUCKIN-LATIONS!"

Jenna then slams the door and stomps back upstairs to Morgan's office. Those outside look at each other guiltily, except Marie who enters the house to help her stressed boyfriend, who's laying face-down in his bed.

_"It's... it's too much."_ Double-D tells Marie, his voice muffled by the pillow. Marie sits and puts a hand on his shoulder: "Jenn shut everyone up. _Now you rest for a while, then you can get back to that code."_

* * *

Night falls, and the next morning, the code is completed and Double-D calls over all his friends to his living room. Eddy asks "You got it done?"

"The deciphering is complete!" Double-D answers, with Nazz and Jenna standing at his sides. He explains it: _"My parents have a knack for making things very wordy and extended, so that's why the deciphering took so long. I'll explain in a shortened summary. Forty-seven years after Lord Benedict Kanker took ownership of Peach Creek in 1705, it was won back when a farmer named Samson McGee, one of Eddy's ancestors, led a successful rebellion against Benedict's son who inherited the land after Benedict passed away."_

So wait, Peach Creek DOES belong to my family?" Eddy asks, jumping off Double-D's armchair.

"Correct." Double-D confirms and continues explaining the message, the events of which are shown as flashbacks: _**"My parents were working with the Econo and they met with Freddie several times. From those associations, my parents learned that Freddie was bitter about the Kankers losing ownership of Peach Creek in 1752. He felt that it's the perfect place to build the new Econo industrial complex and make more money, so he sent some of his loyal subordinates to find the Peach Creek history books and dispose of the pages detailing the McGee rebellion and all related articles. But Mother learned of this while eavesdropping on Freddie, so she and Father went to get the books before Freddie's subordinates did. They failed to defend the pages and were unable to contact police because Freddie's men were on their tails from then on, but just in case that happened, Father secretly copied the McGee rebellion pages and hid them inside a combination-locked safe in his office at Econo Inc in Orange Harbor while the originals were burnt. He and Mother then returned here as Freddie's men chased them, and Father wrote the message for me moments before he and Mother were captured and taken away."**_

Everyone is silent for a moment, then Kyle responds:_ "... Duuuude, that's just low."_

_"Real low."_ Paul adds.

"... Y'know, Mom said that Uncle Freddie always played his cards to make sure he always got what he wanted." Lee says._ "But to play cards like this?"_

"Mom's gonna flip!" Marie says, then Lee takes out her cellphone: "I'll tell Rachel about this."

"We can't let Freddie tear down our home." Kevin tells his friends while clenching his fists. Sarah and Zoe crack their knuckles, with Sarah suggesting "We maim him next time he shows up."

"So wait, if the copies are at Econo Inc, doesn't that mean it's right under Freddie's nose?" Jonny asks. _"Double-D, your parents had to be freakin ninjas to pull that shit off."_

"Whatever their means, I'm glad they succeeded." Double-D replies. "Father left me his Econo card key along with the letter, and the backside of the letter itself has a map of the Econo Headquarters. So I'll look up directions to the headquarters, print them out, then Ed, Eddy and I will set out to go there this afternoon."

"Why must it always be you three only?" Zoe asks in protest. "I wanna go and have a taste of the wickedness, too!"

"Sorry, Lady Nutjob, but we're the series's namesakes. Now if it were called Ed, Edd, Eddy n Zoe, _then_ we'd take you along!" Eddy tells Zoe, who pouts and crosses her arms.

* * *

In Rachel's house, Rachel sits with Nikki in the kitchen: _"Hey Mom, Lee called me just now about the message."_

"What did it say, dear?" Nikki asks...

* * *

Later on after noon, Double-D and Eddy, who has the map directions to the Econo Headquarters, go outside and into Double-D's retro van. Inside, they see Ed and May making out on the waterbed.

"Ed, this ain't the time for that." Eddy tells Ed. May apologizes before going out the van's back doors: "Sorry, ehehe! Just some last-minute lovin!"

"Hold onto the map til we get off the highway at Orange Harbor." Eddy gives the map to Ed before sitting shotgun. Double-D puts on his seat-belt and starts up the van. All the others except Rolf watch from Double-D's lawn, then Rolf rushes up to Double-D's side with three bags.

"For the journey ahead, Rolf has taken the liberty to make stuffed squid sandwich dinners with special sea cucumber sauce for you, lacking-neck Ed boy, and heavy-browed Ed boy!" Rolf passes the bags to Double-D, who takes his and passes Ed's & Eddy's to them.

"Be careful, guys!" Nazz tells the Eds, and Marie adds "Yeah, cuz none of us will be coverin yer backs."

"Ed's a one-man army, so we'll be fine!" Eddy reassures. "Double-D, LET'S ROLL OUT TO ORANGE HARBOR!"

"COME BACK IN ONE PIECE!" Paul shouts as the Eds drive off. But as they go, a man watches them from inside a parked car, and he dials a number on his cellphone:

"Freddie sir, we got three boys heading over to the headquarters. It seems one of them is Morgan's and Phoebe's son." the man tells Freddie.

_"Heh, I knew something was forgotten when Mr. and Mrs. Hart were captured."_ Freddie replies, the screen shifting to him at his office desk: "They'll without a doubt take the highway since that's the fastest route to here, so I'll have my boys cut them off there and capture em before they even get close!"

* * *

Double-D is driving the van along the highway, passing the exit to "GREEN ALMOND RILL (which was mentioned back in "Betroth-Ed")." Ed lays on the water-bed, studying the map Eddy gave him.

"Can't you drive faster, Sockhead?" Eddy asks.

"I'm not allowed to exceed the speed limit of 65 miles per hour, Eddy." Double-D answers as they go under a bridge going over the highway. "It's no real problem either. Calculating from our current speed, we should reach Orange Harbor in no less than four hours."

"Geez, could we at least fast-forward through those hours, or do we got some stupid cliche obstacle comin?" Eddy asks in a complaining tone. Double-D's eyes bug out after seeing nine Econo SUVS on the highway's opposite lane. They exit onto the bridge the Eds passed under to go back around onto the highway again, behind the Eds!

_"I believe it's the latter, Eddy."_ Double-D shows Eddy and Ed the Econo SUVs in his rear-view mirror. They freak out, and Double-D shouts _"It appears they found out about us somehow!"_

"FLOOR IT!" Eddy yells, but Double-D protests "But the speed limit-"

"GAH!" Ed floors the van with his stretched-out fist, speeding up the van and it passes several cars. But the Econo SUVs easily keep up. Double-D maneuvers the van past several more vehicles (including a red-&-blue truck resembling Optimus Prime's alternate mode) in a zigzag pattern to throw off the SUVs, but only two are left in the dust. One of the remaining seven SUVs catches up to the van, and _one of its occupants, sitting shotgun, whips out a camera and photographs the Eds._ The SUV then passes ahead of the van while another parallels it, forcing the Eds to the right.

"DOUBLE-D, TURBO!" Eddy yells, but Double-D again replies "I CAN'T! IF I SHIFT TO TURBO, IT'LL CONSUME TOO MUCH FUEL AND I WON'T BE ABLE TO STEER!"

The SUV paralleling the van opens up one of its doors, and one of its occupants opens Double-D's door to try grabbing him. Double-D shrieks and slams his door on the man's arm, making him scream and squeeze his arm back. Double-D then points Eddy two yellow buttons on a panel of colored buttons on Eddy's side: "PRESS THE LEFT YELLOW BUTTON!"

Eddy presses the left yellow button, making Double-D's left front wheel extend a mechanical clawed arm that latches onto the right front wheel of the paralleling SUV and twists it off. This makes the SUV spin out and crash into two other SUVs, allowing Double-D to swerve left. But the SUV ahead of the van keeps Double-D from getting past it by swerving in front of him each time he tries doing so.

"We have to take that exit." Double-D is forced to take the next exit, leading to "GRANNY SMITH RAPIDS." Two of the remaining SUVs follow the van up the exit ramp and onto a forested outer road of Granny Smith Rapids. They again catch up to Double-D's van.

"Damn, they're persistent!" Eddy comments. He looks ahead: "WHOA!"

Double-D, panicking as they're about to crash into a truck crossing an intersection, presses a green button that makes the van's wheels spring up, sending the van high into the air and over the truck while one of the pursuing SUVs crashes into it. The other is forced off-road and it crashes through a gas station, causing a large explosion! Eddy looks back at them as the van lands from its spring-jump.

"That got em!" Eddy exclaims, but then goes "Huh?" upon seeing two more speed up towards them.

_"Those are the two I outmaneuvered on the highway earlier!"_ Double-D remembers, and being on a straight road, he uses finally presses the big red TURBO button. The van blasts off ahead of the SUVs and quickly loses them.

"YES!" the Eds exclaims while looking at the rear-view mirror, but upon looking back ahead, they SCREAM as the van speeds through a railing and off the road at a sharp turn! The van speeds through dozens of trees, denting its hood and cracking the front window, and as Double-D frantically tries to slow down the speed, the van goes off the edge of the forest and down into a gorge.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" the Eds look at each other as they scream, and when Ed & Double-D look at Eddy at one point, Eddy suddenly resembles the devil and laughs evilly! But in the next camera shot, Eddy shifts back to normal and continues screaming with his fellow Eds as the van falls down the gorge. The van lands in a river at the bottom, then Double-D presses a blue button to inflate a raft from the van's underside.

_"Neat raft, Double-D!"_ Ed compliments Double-D's raft while Double-D himself berates himself:_ "How careless of me to take my eyes off the road."_

_"How about you keep your eyes on what's up ahead. LOOK!"_ Eddy points at the rapidly flowing waters ahead. The rafting van bumps to-&-from numerous rocks as it flows down the crazy rapids that Granny Smith Rapids is named after, thrashing the Eds around inside.

"I'M NOT IN MY HAPPY PLACE!" Ed panics as he and Eddy are thrashed around, and Double-D's face turns a sickly green. As the rapids get more intense, the van briefly goes airborne, landing atop a sharp rock that pops the raft and bumps the van into another sharp rock, then another, and another. The van gets torn apart by the jagged rocks and the Eds eventually fall out through one of its torn sides. The Eds are then washed down the rapids along with the van's remains.

* * *

Later at sunset, after the rapids, the river slows down and washes the Eds up onto one of its sandbars, which lead up into more forested terrain. The van's remains were washed up with them. Eddy belches up a bullfrog he swallowed in the river, while Ed is giving the unconscious Double-D mouth-to-mouth to revive him. Ed succeeds, and Double-D spews water into his face. Double-D then squeezes the water out of his hat.

"YAY, YOU'RE ALIVE!" Ed happily hugs Double-D, but Eddy points at his van's remains:_ "But yer van ain't."_

"MY VAN!" Double-D runs up to his destroyed van, whose only remaining wheel falls off. Double-D drops to his knees, covering his face in his hands as if about to cry. _"All those years of remodeling and enhancing tune-ups, GONE FOREVER-ER-ER!"_

Double-D breaks into tears while Eddy climbs a tall tree above the sandbar to look around for civilization, but there's none in sight. He only sees forest for miles around, and after looking at the setting sun, he descends back down.

"Well boys, we better set up a makeshift campsite for the night. We're nowhere near any town." Eddy tells Ed and Double-D. Ed helps up the grieving Double-D so they can get to collecting stuff from the forest for their campsite.

By nightfall, the Eds have made a tent out of branches and leaves, plus a campfire where they're eating the stuffed squid sandwiches Rolf gave them. The sandwiches are grinder-style.

"Ack, how the hell do Rolf and his folks eat this shit?" Eddy asks after taking a nasty bite out of his sandwich.

"Did you add the sea cucumber sauce? It's tastier with that!" Ed exclaims. Double-D fashioned a knife out of a small stone, and uses it to cut his sandwich into pieces. The pieces show the stuff inside the squid, which includes various kinds of meat, fish parts, cooked shellfish, and veggies.

"Well, the Vorliks sure are knowledgeable when it comes to healthy nutrition!" Double-D says before hesitatingly taking a bite out of one of his sandwich pieces. He barely manages to swallow it, and it makes his eyes water. Ed eats his whole.

"So, what are we gonna do in the morning?" Ed asks after eating.

"We'll use the map Double-D printed to get back on track." Eddy answers. A coyote then howls at the moon in the distance.

* * *

The next morning, Eddy is the first to awaken, and he wakes up his fellow Eds by kicking their tent down on them. They burst up through it.

"Eddy, do you mind awakening us in a more polite manner next time?" Double-D gruffly asks as he and Ed get up. Ed yawns cartoonishly.

"Chop chop, we gotta move." Eddy pushes his fellow Eds up onto their feet. Eddy then walks away while searching through his pockets: "Now where's that map?... _Where's the map? Oh no, don't tell me I lost the map in the river. It has to be there."_

Eddy dives back into the river in a vain attempt to retrieve the map. Double-D remembers his cellphone and takes it out from his pocket, but it was too heavily damaged in the rapids and it gives off sparks.

_"Crap, my cellphone has been saturated." _Double-D worries. "Ed, is yours ok?"

"Right here!" Ed takes his phone out from a zipped pocket inside his jacket. His phone is unharmed and the time reads 10:19 AM. Eddy returns from the river, drenched.

_"My phone is dead, and the map's gone."_ Eddy worries. Ed remembers "Oh I got the map!" and pulls it out from one of his pant's pockets, but the map's ink has been smeared by the riverwater.

_"We're fucked, guys. We'll never make it to Econo now."_ Eddy turns away to sulk.

_"Never say never, Eddy! All we have to do is find Lychee Avenue and we'll be there in no time!"_ Ed exclaims, causing Eddy and Double-D to look at him in surprise.

"Lychee Avenue?" Double-D asks, and Ed answers "Yeah!_ I memorized the map after Eddy gave it to me, and I think Lychee Avenue is one of the big roads other than the highway that leads to Orange Harbor."_

"I LOVE YOU, YA BIG LUG!" Eddy jumps on Ed and gives him a squeezing hug. "NOW WE GOT A FIGHTIN CHANCE! Now to get outta these woods!"

The Eds start moving to find their way out of the forest. After a few minutes, someone calls on Ed's phone. He answers: "Hello?"

_"Ed?"_ May's voice asks._ "Are you guys at that business place yet?"_

"Uhh, nope. We crashed and Double-D's van... well, it died." Ed explains, making Double-D cry again, so an annoyed Eddy pulls a mushroom out from the ground and shoves it into Double-D's mouth like a pacifier. While this happens, Ed continues telling May, who's in her trailer: _"We don't know how long it'll be before we get there. We're lost right now."_

"Oh no. Are you boys ok?" May asks in worry.

_"Ed, tell her and the others to plan some kinda back-up to buy us time in case we don't return quick enough."_ Eddy tells Ed, who relays it to May: "May, just in case we don't make it back soon enough, you guys gotta find a way to stall the demolition workers and buy us time."

_"Will do, honey bear!"_ May ends the call, and the Eds continue through the forest. Double-D examines the mushroom Eddy shoved into his mouth: "EDDY, THIS MUSHROOM IS A DESTROYING ANGEL OF THE AMANITA GENUS! THIS COULD'VE KILLED ME IF YOU FORCED IT ANY FURTHER DOWN MY THROAT!"

"Then be glad I didn't!" Eddy chuckles.

* * *

Meanwhile at Econo Inc, Freddie recieves a call from one of his men: "Did you capture the boys?"

_"We lost them in the woods, sir."_ his subordinate answers, driving through the countryside. "They got washed down Granny Smith Rapids."

_"There's a chance they're still alive, so keep up your efforts until you find them. Nobody's gonna interfere with my plans."_ Freddie orders. "Do I make myself clear?"

_"Yes, sir."_ his subordinate answers, ending the call with: _"I'll tell the others the same. We have a picture of the boys to identify them with."_

The call ends, then Freddie looks at his stopwatch again: _"Two days, nine hours and thirty-six minutes to go!"_

**To be Continued...**

* * *

Trivia: The scene where Ed and Double-D visualize Eddy as the devil while falling down the river gorge in Double-D's van is an allusion to the comedy movie "Planes, Trains and Automobiles," and Ed's _"Never say never"_ line to Eddy is a throwback to BPS, where Double-D told Eddy the same thing while inside the LB Gag Factory. My naming "Lychee Avenue" as such is another reference to BPS, which also had a fruit-themed road named "Pear Street."

Ok, now I have more PM questions for you guys! Who are your favorite original characters (the original 12) in this series, and who are your favorite main OCs (ie Jenna, Paul, Rachel, Kyle and Zoe)? And what are your opinions on how I portrayed and developed them? Send your answers via PM, NOT in your reviews.


	49. EEnE's Fantastic Finale pt 3

OVER 300 REVIEWS, WHOOHOO! And with two chapters left to go, the review count will still rise! I hope you enjoy Part Three of the Fantastic Finale!

* * *

A montage shows May telling her sisters and mother what Eddy and Ed told her to do. Lee spreads the word to Jonny & Rolf on Main Street, Marie tells Kevin near the church, and Ursula calls Nikki who in turn tells Rachel. Jonny tells Sarah, Jimmy, Kyle and Zoe in the playground while Rolf alerts Paul in the latter's stoop. Kevin tells Nazz and Jenna at the big rock overlooking the swimming hole. All the kids and teens rush to their homes to tell their parents, who were already told about the Harts' message off-screen. Rolf, in addition, has his own plan:

"Papa, please feed the chickens and pigs in Rolf's stead. _Rolf is embarking to gather a few friends."_ Rolf tells Noah, who's accompanied by Hanna, in their living room. Rolf then turns to leave through their front door.

* * *

Meanwhile, another montage shows the Econo men who have the Eds' photo from the highway chase are at a gas station in Granny Smith Rapids. One of them shows the Eds' picture to a worker inside and asks if the worker saw them, but the worker nods his head. The Econo men then asks some people refueling their vehicles outside after showing the Eds' picture, but their answers are the same. The Econo men move on to the roads going through the forest, where they ask some bikers the same thing after showing the picture, but the bikers answer "no" as well. They then ask a hitchhiker further down, but he too answers "no" and asks to be taken somewhere, to which the Econo comply.

* * *

Two days later, the Eds are still lost in the woods, which we see from an aerial view. Eddy's voice asks "Hey, didn't we pass this tree already? We're going in circles again."

"If you've been paying attention, I've been using this branch to leave a trail behind us to let us know whether or not we've been going around in circles." Double-D explains as he drags a branch behind himself to leave a trail. "So no, this isn't the same beech tree we passed earlier since there's no trail going by."

"Say guys, remember that time where we were scaring the Urban Rangers in the woods near our houses?" Ed asks.

"Oh yeah, then Rolf came after us and we thought he was..." Eddy pauses before shouting with Ed: "THE BELLYBUTTON EATER!"

"Ooo, and the time we were following the trail to that old shed and we got trapped with the Kankers!" Ed reminisces. "And when we ran into Jonny & Rolf while lookin for Spook-E-Ville!"

"And when Double-D and Jimmy fought in the pit!" Eddy remembers, throwing fists as he laughs. "Good times, good times!"

"Not to mention when you wasted an entire day 'tweaking' that raccoon-shooting scam." Double-D tells Eddy, who retorts "Do you always gotta have a buzzkill for every enjoyable moment?"

Ed stops, causing Eddy to bump into him while the latter was retorting at Double-D. Ed grabs him and Double-D by their shirt-necks, and he shows them what's up ahead:

"It's a road!" Ed is showing his buddies that they finally reached a road. The Eds look where the road leads to. One way leads into more forest, while the other leads to a distant building.

"What's that?" Eddy asks about the distant building, so Double-D pulls a telescope out from his hat and uses it to identify the building: "... It's called the Hill Hotel."

"YES, now I don't gotta worry about eatin berries all day again!" Eddy exclaims and starts dashing towards the hotel.

"WAIT UP!" Double-D shouts as he and Ed follow Eddy all the way to the Hill Hotel, which is big and has several floors.

"I hope my money dried up by now." Eddy checks his wallet's cash. It has dried up from the river. "WHOO, WE'RE GETTIN SOME REAL FOOD, BOYS!"

"And we can ask for directions! _Maybe even a ride!"_ Double-D adds as he and the other Eds enter the hotel.

"LOOK, THERE'S THE CAFE!" Ed points at the cafe, and he & Eddy run into it while Double-D approaches the front desk.

"Excuse me, mam, but do you know the way to Orange Harbor from here?" Double-D asks the lady at the front desk.

"To be honest, I've never actually been to that city, _but I have been told that a road at the big intersection in Pineapple Pond just north of here leads to there."_ the lady answers.

"Ok, thanks for the aid!" Double-D thanks before being pulled into the cafe by Eddy, who along with Ed is feasting on a whole bunch of food at a table: "I ordered a buffet for us to make up for yesterday's berry fest! So here, have a drumstick!"

Eddy shoves a drumstick into Double-D's mouth while Ed gorges himself on pizza and huge sausages.

* * *

In Peach Creek, Sarah and Kyle hop into Thomas's SUV while Thomas himself is attaching a long cart, which has chains and shackles, to the SUV's rear. Jonny, Nazz, Kevin, Jenna and Zoe watch.

"So, where are you three goin?" Kevin asks.

"We're goin to Lake Tangerine to bring over the last living _Deinognathus_ on Earth!" Thomas answers, surprising Nazz and Jenna as he continues: _"And it's gonna be crazy awesome!"_

"Be careful, Daddy! Same for you two!" Zoe tells Sarah and Kyle as Thomas starts the SUV, and Sarah gives a thumbs-up as they drive off.

"... Why you askin me what's a _Deinognathus_, Plank? I don't know, either." Jonny tells Plank.

"_Deinognathus_ is a 30-foot fish that lived during the Cretaceous Period." Nazz explains, and Jenna adds "It died out with the dinosaurs 65 million years ago, so I think Mr. Navarro was only jokin about that."

* * *

As the sun sets, at the Hill Hotel, the Eds are walking out of the cafe. Double-D told Ed and Eddy about the directions given by the front-desk lady, and Eddy is responding: "Ok, so we go north from here?"

"Correct." Double-D confirms. But then the Eds' faces twist and their eyes bug out in horror, because the Econo men, having just dropped off the hitchhiker at the hotel, are showing the Eds' picture to the front-desk lady. She points at the Eds, and one of the men shouts "GET EM!"

"RUN AWAY!" Ed screams., and he and his fellow Eds run back into the hotel's cafe as the Econo men chase them. Ed throws tables at them, even occupied tables, to slow them down while Double-D and Eddy look for an exit. Eddy shoots hot-dogs from buns into the Econo mens' eyes to further hinder their progress, and Double-D trips more with a sausage rope tied low between two tables. But a few men manage to block off the back exit from the Eds, so Ed grabs his buddies and charges through a wall with them! He carries them to the parking lot, where the remaining four Econo SUVs are parked.

"ED, WAIT!" Double-D yells for Ed to stop. He does so, and Double-D explains: "We could use one of the Econo SUVs to reach the company headquarters, _but we'll need disguises to infiltrate that place in secrecy."_

"Then I got a plan." Eddy shoves Ed and Double-D into one of the SUVs, then he jumps into the driver's seat and makes of with the SUV. The Econo men who were using that one angrily run after the Eds while the others drive in their SUVs. Eddy shouts "NOW, LUMPY!"

Ed jumps out through the stolen SUV's back door and onto the road. He grabs the road and throws it up to wave it like a long carpet, sending the pursuing Econo men and their SUVs flying skywards... then they crash back down, totaling their SUVs and knocking most of them out. Ed rushes up to beat up three men and take their suits for him, Double-D and Eddy to use.

"Here we go!" Ed jumps back into the stolen SUV with Double-D and Eddy. Eddy looks at a sign pointing north, so he goes "North that-a-way!" and drives in that direction.

* * *

Back in Peach Creek, Marie is gathering turkey basters in the junkyard. At the Vorliks' sheep field, Jimmy is putting harnesses on the sheep herd when Zoe arrives, asking "Whatcha doin, Jim Jim?"

_"Rolf told me to get every sheep, goat, horse and Julian ready for tomorrow."_ Jimmy answers. Meanwhile, Jonny asks Nazz at her door: "You got your costume done yet?"

"Yeah, come in and check it out!" Nazz leads Jonny inside. In an alleyway, Paul is meeting with Drupe leader Dave.

"My boys are bringin em right now." Dave says._ "Tomorrow mornin, shit's gon get real."_

* * *

Meanwhile, the Eds arrive in the town of Pineapple Pond, marked by an entrance sign. After passing several blocks and the namesake pond (which has a pineapple-shaped fountain in the center), the Eds reach the big intersection that the hotel lady mentioned. It has traffic lights.

"Is this the intersection?" Eddy asks, and Double-D looks at the road signs at one of the intersection's corners. One of the road signs reads...

_"Lychee Avenue!"_ Double-D exclaims. _"Ed, didn't you say that Lychee Avenue leads to Orange Harbor?"_

_"Yeah, that's it!"_ Ed answers. Eddy steers onto Lychee Avenue once the lights turn green, and he follows it out of Pineapple Pond, along a forested cliffside as the sun goes down, and by nightfall, they're traveling along the ocean coast! Several hours later, they pass a sign reading "ORANGE HARBOR: 5 MILES," and the city's illuminated skyline appears in the distance...

* * *

In the foggy waters of Lake Tangerine, we see Sarah and Thomas on a large fishing boat. Kyle brings a fish that's bigger than he is: "Here, Mr. Navarro dude."

"Alrighty!" Thomas puts the large fish on his fish-rod's oversized hook, then connects the hook to another fishrod that he gives to Sarah: _"Sarah, catching this beast will take our combined strength and effort. Do not waver, and show no fear."_

"Right." Sarah replies, and they cast out their bait together...

* * *

Driving along Lychee Avenue, the Eds drive across a bridge and finally enter Orange Harbor's outer neighborhoods. They continue along Lychee Avenue.

"So where's Econo, Ed?" Eddy asks. "You remember?"

"Keep going down, then go left at McGylnn Street." Ed says. Edy drives past several streets (including Epcar Avenue, Adler Street, West Street, Lodge Street, Willingham Drive, Hollingshead Avenue, Thornton Street, and Weaving Street). The eventually find McGlynn Street and Eddy turns onto it. After going down several blocks, Eddy stops when something illuminated by a streetlight catches his eye. He's looking at an old, abandoned apartment house with several words and names painted all over it. Eddy steps out followed by Ed and Double-D, to look at five names painted across the house's front: "URSULA, RODNEY, LEAH, MARIE N MAY."

"So this is where they used to live..." Ed says, then Double-D notices the sun beginning to rise: _"Let's hurry. We only have a few hours left."_

The Eds get back in the Econo SUV and drive down to the end of Strauss Street, where Ed directs Eddy to the right onto another major street called "Clementine Boulevard" leading to downtown. The boulevard leads directly to the Econo Inc. building!

"There it is." Eddy stops in front of Econo Inc. The SUV shakes as the Eds change into the Econo suits they stole, then they emerge wearing the suits (Eddy's somehow fits him perfectly, as if it shrunk to fit him). They walk through the building's front doors and enter the spacious lobby, which has many doors, elevators and branching hallways.

"What if we get lost?" Ed asks, causing Eddy to elbow him and tell into his ear: "Don't talk like that. We gotta act professional so the guys here don't catch onto us._ If they do, we'll never get to Mr. Hart's office."_

Double-D sees several computer terminals on the rear wall, so he turns one on. It says "Welcome to Econo Incorporated!" on the screen, accompanied by a computer voice saying it, and it shows a menu with two opening options: "Employee" or "Visitor." Double-D selects "Employee," then the computer voice requests _"Card key identification."_

Double-D takes Morgan's card-key from inside his hat and uses it on the terminal's card-key slot. In response, the terminal's computer screen shows a 3D map leading all the way up to Morgan's office on the thirty-third floor. Morgan's office number is 33-162.

"Wow, that's convenient!" Eddy exclaims, Double-D adding "Bless the advent of computing advancement!"

The Eds enter an elevator to go up to the thirty-third floor.

* * *

Back in Peach Creek, the sun rises up. All is quiet, and there's nobody in sight. Only the dry, eerie wind breaks the silence. Tree leaves blow in the wind. The wind chimes on Rachel's front porch clang against each other. A tumbleweed even rolls across one of the streets!

Eddy's parents, Tabby, Hanna and Nano stand near the cul-de-sacs, their hair flowing in the wind. In the playground, a narrow-eyed Zoe sits atop a spring-rider with Sparky by her side. After a few more moments of silence, nearby squirrels suddenly turn tail and flee, and birds fly off as if spooked by something. The pigs, chickens and peacocks at the Vorlik farm start to run around frantically. Then Sparky becomes uneasy, and he starts whining and barking.

_"Here they come..."_ Zoe says knowingly._ We then see the demolition crews approaching in their vehicles, appearing over the horizon one-by-one. They include carrier trucks, dump trucks, lumber trucks, tree-harvesters, loaders, bulldozers, excavators, and a wrecking crane, and there are dozens of them!_

_"There they are!"_ Paul spots the demolition vehicles with his telescope from atop a pole, and he jumps down through a nearby manhole and into the sewer. In the sewer, we see a load of dynamite and TNT boxes connecting to a detonator, which Dave stands by.

"They comin right now." Paul alerts Dave, who takes out a walkie-talkie:

"Yo listen up, boys." Dave begins:_ "The demolishers are here, so as soon as ya see em up above, it's time to blow shit up. Let's do this!"_

"YEAH!" the Drupes reply throughout the Peach Creek sewers, some grabbing onto their detonators while others watch for demolition vehicles heading their way. A loader approaches Paul's and Dave's spot, so the watching Paul signals Dave down below. Dave pushes down the detonator handle, setting off his explosives and blowing a hole through the street, sending the loader flying into the air.

"WHOOOO!" Paul whoops, and the other Drupes start detonating as well, blasting numerous holes throughout the Peach Creek streets. This blows several demolition vehicles skywards while others are either hindered or maneuver around the holes.

"What the hell?..." a demolition worker asks after the street in front of him is blown out by Drupes. Kevin and Jenna watch from a safe distance on Kevin's motorcycle, both wearing their helmets, while Zoe has a gleeful look on her face. At the Vorlik farm, Noah witnesses the explosions as he jumps onto the tractor, which has been fitted with spiked tires, and starts it up. The Kankers, meanwhile, see the explosions' smoke from atop their trailer's roof.

"And so it begins!" Marie exclaims, then Lee says "Let's move. The gangstas won't get all of em."

* * *

At Econo Inc, the Eds step off the elevator at the thirty-third floor. They hurry down a corridor, passing numerous Econo workers as they go.

"There it is. Room 33-162!" Eddy exclaims as they reach Morgan's office door, which also has a card-key lock. Double-D uses Morgan's card-key again to open it, and they enter the office.

But upon entering, the Eds see Freddie sitting on Morgan's desk with a safe in his hands!

"FREDDIE!" the Eds shout in surprise, and Double-D asks "How did you-"

_"My master card key opens every room in this building."_ Freddie answers before Double-D finishes his question. "And since the only other key that could open this room's door is Morgan's, that must mean you're his son and two friends, am I right?"

"Where is Mother and Father?" Double-D asks.

"Don't worry, boy. They're not being tortured or anything like that." Freddie says. "All we did was lock them away for attempting to foil my plans for the new Peach Creek facility. I guess they left you clues back home to come here. But you're too late. I already figured out that you were coming for something, so I searched around and happened to find this here Econo file-storage safe. Morgan hid it well, but not well enough. And he was a fool to think that I didn't know all the combinations to the file-storage safes._ Now let me guess what's inside it. Morgan copied the Peach Creek history pages that I had my men dispose of, didn't he? It's that, isn't it? That was the only way I could be stopped, but with Morgan and Phoebe out of the way and you boys about to be locked up with them, I'm free to do whatever I like because I erased history, and in doing so, I have restored the Kankers' rightful ownership!"_

"You bastard." Eddy curses Freddie and lunges towards him: "MY FAMILY OWNS PEACH CREEK!"

Freddie jumps behind Morgan's desk to dodge Eddy and kick him back into a wall. Freddie then snaps his fingers to summon his men into the room and grab the Eds. Ed swings his arms up to throw off his captors, and while he helps Eddy and Double-D, Freddie puts the safe on Morgan's desk to undo the combination lock.

"You can struggle all you like, boys, but that won't change the fact that your journey ends here." Freddie tells the fighting Eds as he unlocks and opens the safe. He finds a folder labeled "Peach Creek History Page Copies," pulls it out from the other folders, and takes his lighter out from his pocket to burn it. Before doing so, he opens the folder to check the contents...

"Huh?" Freddie discovers that the folder is empty! His eyes bug out in surprise and confusion: _"It's empty!"_

The Eds and Freddie's men all freeze upon hearing this, and the Eds repeat "Empty?"

"OVER HERE. BOYS!" another male Econo worker shouts from down the hallway. The man has combed black hair and gray eyes like Rachel's. He has the copied history pages in his hand. Seeing this, Eddy and Ed wrestle their way through Freddie's men and pull Double-D out with them to dash towards the gray-eyed man.

"ELIIII!" Freddie yells at the gray-eyed man (Eli) as he hands over the copied pages to the Eddy, and Double-D thanks "Thank you so much, sir, but how did you get into Father's office?"

"Because I'm a friend of Morgan's_, so he made me a copy of his card-key for me in case of an emergency."_ Eli answers. _"My wife Nikki called me about what happened after she was told by our daughter Rachel, so I went into your father's office and took the pages before Freddie figured out first!_ Now get back to Peach Creek while us real Econo people take care of Freddie and his equally greedy lackeys."

"Will do." Eddy replies, and he & the other Eds run back to the elevator they came up in while the divided Econo workers fight each other. One of Freddie's workers grabs Ed's foot as he goes into the elevator, causing its doors to close on Ed's leg. Several more of Freddie's men try to pull Ed out by his leg, but Ed kicks out against them to keep them at bay, even kicking several in their faces. Double-D and Eddy finally pull Ed's stuck leg inside so the elevator can move back down towards ground level. As they go down...

"Ed, is your leg alright?" Double-D asks in concern, Ed sits in a corner to pull up the side of his pants that got stuck in the elevator doors, revealing bright pink slam marks on his leg where the doors got him. He responds "It's nothing serious."

While the Eds go down, Eli confronts Freddie in a windowed hallway, telling him "It's over, Freddie. We already called the police on you. They're on their way here right now."

"I won't get caught. I ALWAYS get what I want and NOTHING will stop me! _This isn't over by a LONG-SHOT!"_ Freddie turns and jumps out through one of the windows, surprising Eli and he watches in slow-motion as Freddie drops down towards the boulevard below. He cracks the sidewalk upon landing right in front of the Eds as they run out through the front doors! He chuckles sinisterly at them, then makes a grab for them. The Eds dodge in different directions, then Freddie goes for Eddy because Eddy has the copied pages, but Ed fist-fights him. While they fight Double-D pulls a slingshot out from his hat and slings a piece of sidewalk (which Freddie shattered upon landing) at Freddie's head from behind, disorienting Freddie long enough for the Eds to get inside the Econo SUV they used to reach the building. This time, Ed takes the wheel while Eddy sits shotgun, and Ed runs over several of Freddie's men as he zooms down the boulevard.

"Errrrr..." Freddie goes into his own personal blue car in the building's parking lot to chase after the Eds, followed by some of his men in six SUVs. The Eds are wearing their normal clothes again.

"FIND THE HIGHWAY, ED!" Eddy shouts, and Ed replies "I'M LOOKIN, EDDY! I'M LOOKIN!"

"DETOUR!" Double-D points at road work up ahead, where a cement truck is pouring cement into a large pothole. Ed quickly turns onto a side street to avoid it, and as Freddie and his men chase them onto the side street, one of the mens' SUVs skids too much while turning and falls into the half-filled pothole, leaving it trapped in the cement. Ed turns onto another major street, where he sees a sign pointing to an upcoming highway ramp.

"YES!" the Eds cheer, and Ed turns onto the ramp to drive up onto the highway. Freddie and his remaining men follow in close pursuit.

* * *

Near Peach Creek, we see Mayor Berner on a hilltop. He is a skinny, middle-aged man with brown hair, and he wears a purple suit with a "MAYOR" sash and black shoes. He watches in shock and confusion at the mayhem in Peach Creek.

_"What in the world?..."_ he asks as he watches the battle. Angela and Gladys respectively toss away a loader and dump truck while Roger curls up a bulldozer into a tight ball!

"YAH!" Roger throws the bulldozer-ball at a carrier truck, sending it barreling into an old building and knocking several steel ramming beams out of it. The ramming beams scatter all over the street, and Roger picks one up while others are grabbed by more bulldozers and loaders. Peter grabs another beam to knock down one of the excavators, sending its operator running out along with numerous others who were also ousted from their vehicles.

"Why the hell are these guys still here? They were supposed to be long gone!" one of the demolition workers shouts, and another shouts "GET OUTTA HERE, PEOPLE! WE'RE BRINGIN DOWN THIS TOWN!"

"THE LEAGUE OF URBAN RANGERS BEGS TO DIFFER, HARD-HATS!" Rolf's voice shouts from down the street. The workers turn in Rolf's direction, and they see him and Jimmy wearing their Urban Ranger uniforms while sitting atop a saddle Julian and horse, respectively. Behind Rolf and Jimmy is an entire legion of Urban Rangers, both male and female, from various other towns that Rolf went to to recruit them! The leading Rangers have the Vorliks' horses as their steeds, while the lower-ranking ones ride on the Vorliks' goats and sheep! Rolf draws his battle staff, which was fixed since he last used it in "Eds Gone Wild."

"RANGERS, ATTACK!" Rolf shouts, and the Urban Rangers all yell their battle-cries as they charge towards the defenseless workers. The workers SCREAM and zip away so fast that their hard-hats are left spinning in mid-air before falling to the ground. The Urban Rangers spread out across the streets to run down any workers knocked out of their vehicles by the fighting adults. Julian rams through several of them before rearing up on his hind-legs to bellow loudly. While Julian bellows, Rolf strikes a battle pose in which he holds his staff up high!

At a clearing in the woods, the lumber trucks and tree-harvesters arrive. The loggers in the trucks step out, brandishing chainsaws.

"Hey, you two. I'm gonna have to ask you both to step aside." one of the loggers tells Selena and Phil, who each chained themselves to a tree.

"We won't let ya'll harm the environment." Phil tells the loggers, who laugh. One replies "Fine, we'll just start over there instead!"

The loggers turn towards another part of the woods to clear, but Jonny's parents quickly un-chain themselves to re-chain in front of the loggers. Selena tells them _"You'll have to get through us first."_

In response, the loggers split up to target different trees, which Jonny's parents cannot protect on their own. But instead of panicking, they smile, because three of the chainsaw-wielding loggers are quickly ambushed and beaten down by a shadowy figure.

"Who the hell is that?" a harvester-driving logger asks.

"... SHED A TEAR, BECAUSE CAPTAIN MELONHEAD AND SPLINTER THE WONDERWOOD ARE HERE!" Captain Melonhead declares while striking a pose with Splinter. Melonhead has a new outfit apart from his watermelon mask, consisting of a white-striped yellow one-piece going into shin-length, black-&-white shoes that expose his toes (like the Akatsuki shoes from "Naruto"), and he also has a utility belt full of acorns. Then another shady figure appears in a tree behind them!

"ALONG WITH... HONEY DEW!" the shady figure in the tree is revealed as Nazz who, like Jonny, has donned a superhero alter-ego: Honey Dew. She wears a honeydew melon mask similar to Melonhead's, a green-&-yellow-striped catsuit that covers her breasts downwards while still showing her cleavage, a utility belt with automatic pistols and honeydew melons, green leather boots with white soles, and green gloves reaching her elbows. She leaps off the tree branch, draws one of her automatic pistols from her belt as she lands, and starts seeds at the loggers extremely rapidly! The loggers drop their chainsaws to block the barrage of seeds, but this leaves them open to melee attacks from Melonhead and Splinter. But while Melonhead and Honey Dew are occupied, some of the tree-harvesters manage to knock down trees.

"NO!" Selena shouts, alarming Melonhead and he jumps up into a tree and swings along the branches towards one of the tree-harvesters as it moves to bring down another tree. But before it could, Melonhead takes an acorn from his belt, bites off its cupule, and throws it down onto the harvester. Just like in "Robbin Ed," the acorn bursts open and an oak tree grows out from it, its roots crushing the harvester down underground!

"Now for the rest of ya!" Melonhead throws more instant-growing acorns at the remaining harvesters to force them underground with the acorns' sprouting roots, while Honey Dew draws her second seed pistol and fires waves of seeds at the chainsaw-wielding loggers. She dodges their swings, and kick-combos one in front of her. She back-flips from the rest and fires seeds until her pistols run out of ammo. To restock, Honey Dew quickly takes one of her belt's honeydew melons and grinds it through a blender-like mechanism in one of her guns. This restocks her seed ammo while keeping the pulp in a separate container. She tries restocking her second gun the same way, but it gets sliced by a logger's chainsaw, forcing Honey Dew to back-flip away to safety. She gives the loggers a "bring it" gesture, prompting them to charge with their chainsaws.

_"That's it, boys!"_ Honey Dew smirks as she takes out another of her melons, presses a timer on it, and throws it into the air. After three seconds, the melon explodes, sending its seeds raining down on the loggers like shrapnel. On Melonhead's side of the fight, he buried all the harvesters with his instant-grown trees. But their operators are digging up from under the instant-grown trees' roots.

_"When you harm Mother Nature, Mother Nature will harm you!"_ Melon tells the harvester-loggers before whistling various bird calls. This summons flocks of various birds, including birds of prey, and they all swarm the harvester-loggers! The loggers SCREAM as they get clawed and pecked by the countless birds, who force them to retreat out of the woods! Selena and Phil cheer as the birds turn to drive away the chainsaw-loggers, and Melonhead & Honey Dew watch them run while holding each other.

"Ya did well, 'Honey' Dew!" Melonhead tells "Honey" Dew, who sweetly replies _"You weren't too shabby yourself, Captain!"_

"... No, Honey Dew and I ain't makin love at this time, Splinter." an annoyed Melonhead answers Splinter.

* * *

Meanwhile, Thomas, Sarah and Kyle are returning to Peach Creek. They are carrying Ol' Chomps in the cart, where he is kept binded by the cart's chains and shackles. Kyle is pouring buckets of water, from inside the back of Thomas' SUV, onto Ol' Chomps' gills to keep him alive.

_"Nice fishy fishy!"_ Kyle says as he keeps Ol' Chomps wet, while Sarah tells Thomas "Mr. Navarro, could you drive faster? We're almost out of water for Ol' Chomps."

"We're almost there!" Thomas replies.

* * *

Back in Peach Creek, the wrecking crane approaches PCJH, followed by six bulldozers with ramming beams. One of the bulldozers rams down the PCJH sign in front of the school, then its driver sees Sparky run up. Sparky starts barking at the bulldozers and wrecking crane.

"What's that dog doin there?" the crane operator asks before getting his face slammed against his steering wheel from behind by Zoe, knocking him out and he sees stars.

_"Sparky was a distraction so I can hijack your crane!"_ Zoe tells the crane operator before throwing him out, then Zoe takes control of the crane. She laughs maniacally as she swings the wrecking ball at one of the accompanying bulldozers to knock it several blocks away, then she knocks away the rest of them while screaming _"MOST WICKEEEDDD!"_

Zoe chases a straddler worker down the street. He outruns the crane, only to be hit on the head and knocked out by Nano's thrown cane, which ricochets back to the chuckling Nano.

"I feel fifteen years younger!" Nano exclaims. Nearby, we see Kevin and Jenna again, and as Kevin revs his motorcycle, Jenna takes out an oversized container of oil.

"Ready, babe?" Kevin asks Jenna, who answers after ripping the top off the oil container: "Hell the fuck yeah I am!"

Kevin speeds down the street, and Jenna leans back to pour the oil behind them as they go in a circle around several blocks. They pass by the smoking Bill, whom Kevin signals with a thumbs-up, and Bill throws his cigarette into the splattered oil trail Jenna laid around the blocks to ignite it. The fire spreads along the trail of oil and around the blocks, trapping any workers without vehicles inside the blazing ring of fire, allowing them to be easily picked off by Urban Rangers. Jenna lays out more oil as Kevin drives around several more blocks, and this time, Dean ignites the oil with his cigarette. Kevin and Jenna repeat the process again with Sean, then with Rachel.

"This part will be good!" Rachel exclaims as she flicks her cigarette into the oil trail, igniting it. The workers within it try to escape before the fire encloses at the corner near PCH, but they're too late and are trapped. But dump trucks drive in through the fire to rescue them.

"GET IN!" one of the dump-truck drivers shouts, but then PCH starts to rise up...

_"Hooooolllllllyyyyyy..."_ a worker utters in horror as the entire high school is lifted off its foundation by Stan, who has a fierce look on his face!

"HIIIIYAAH!" Stan throws PCH onto the workers and dump trucks, flattening all of them under it! Rachel and Sean watch in entertainment.

"It sure sucks to be them!" Rachel comments. _"But I wonder what's taking the Eds so long."_

_"Whatever the reason, they better arrive before the climax."_ Sean says.

**To be Continued...**

* * *

Trivia: The Hill Hotel is named after Ed's voice actor, Matt Hill, and the various street names the Eds passed in Orange Harbor are references to various other voice actors/actresses that I feel would be ideal for voicing some of my other, minor characters. For example, McGlynn Street, the street the Kankers and Rod used to live on, is named after Mary Elizabeth McGlynn, my ideal voice actress for Ursula.

_Deinognathus_, the fictional species of prehistoric fish that Ol' Chomps belongs too, is Greek for "terrible jaws."

My question for you readers this chapter is: Which families, of both canon and OC characters, do you like the most (and for the canon characters' families, how well do you think I portrayed them based on evidence from the show)? Oh, I also have some Teen Series artwork on deviantArt.

The final chapter won't take long, and it'll be out for Wednesday! _So stay tuned, my fans!_


	50. EEnE's Fantastic Finale pt 4

The time long-awaited has finally come. This is it, ladies and gentlemen. This chapter here is the last I'll ever write on this site. It hurts me a lot to have to end such a popular fic after gaining and inspiring so many fans, but nothing lasts forever, people. And with that, I present to you, the FINAL CHAPTER of Ed, Edd n Eddy: The Teen Series!

* * *

The Eds zoom down the highway en rout back to Peach Creek, with Freddie and his remaining henchmen in pursuit. One of the henchmens' SUVs races up from the left to bump the Eds off-road. So Ed bumps back and forces the opposing SUV against the left side of the lanes. This blows out the opposing SUV's left wheels and immobilizes it while the rest continue after the Eds.

"THERE'S FREDDIE!" Double-D points at Freddie coming in from the right, and he forces the Eds' SUV against the left side of the lanes just like Ed did moments ago.

"WE GOTTA GET OUT!" Eddy shouts, so Ed grabs him and Double-D before going out the driver's window and jumping onto a henchmens' SUV riding behind. Eddy and Ed get rid of the men inside, with Ed throwing one at the windshield of another henchmens' SUV, making it lose control and cause a pile-up of cars behind it. Eddy takes control of their new SUV and drives it past Freddie, angering him more!

"You little shits think you can escape ME?" Freddie asks as he increases speed to catch up with the Eds. They pass a sign reading "PEACH CREEK: 3 MILES."

* * *

In Peach Creek, Lee drives Ursula's pickup truck around with her sisters and Ursula in the back. While the sisters fire Kanker Rubber Cement from their collected basters to immobilize any demolition vehicles and workers they pass, Ursula jumps out with her anchor and holds it up in mid-air.

"HAAAAAHHH!" Ursula slams her anchor down onto the arm of an excavator breaking a house apart, snapping the arm off and crushing it into the ground! She turns to whack the excavator's body, then sends it flying with another, stronger whack. She then swings her hook to snag a bulldozer: "BE GONE!"

Ursula swings the bulldozer around on her anchor and hurls it into a loader, destroying them both and their operators abandon them. But the operators are soon running from the spiked wheels of the Vorlik tractor, being driven by Noah. Ursula uses her grappling hooks to grab onto the tractor and sling herself onto it, riding with Noah.

"RUN EM FLAT, VORLIK!" Ursula tells Noah, who replies "WITH FULL INTENTION, ONE-EYED URSULA!"

Noah drives after fleeing workers while Ursula swings at a passing dump truck. Nearby, Rolf has Julian clash against a bulldozer, and they push each other back-&-forth repeatedly while Tabby, James, and Jenna's parents throw other demolition workers out from their vehicles so Roger, Peter and Paul's parents could destroy the vehicles. Ranger Jimmy checks out his basement by entering via the basement doors in his backyard, where Wendy is helping Laurie take care of baby Kenny.

"How's Kenny?" Jimmy asks, and Wendy answers while giving Laurie Kenny's bottle: _"He's ok, dear! It's quiet down here. Are you hurt or anything?"_

"I'm fine, Mom. Stop worrying so much." Jimmy tells Wendy. While feeding Kenny with the bottle, Laurie asks _"How's Amy doing?"_

_"WHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!"_ Zoe laughs crazily as she swings the crane's wrecking ball at a dump truck, knocking it into an excavator and sending it rolling into one of the holes the Drupes blew through the street. Some Drupes are beating up workers knocked from their vehicles, while Mayor Berner enters the carnage:

"CITIZENS, PLEASE CEASE THIS MADNESS!" Berner yells out desperately. "I HAVE CALLED THESE WORKMEN TO DEMOLISH PEACH CREEK FOR FREDDIE KANKER'S NEW ECONO INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX!"

"OUTTA MY WAY, BOY!" Nana's voice yells to Berner, who quickly jumps out of the way and onto the ground as Nana dashes by on her llama. She pulls off her wooden leg to wield as a weapon, and she yells a battle-cry as she ride_s her llama into battle! Kevin and Jenna ride up to Berner._

_"Yo Mayor, I'm guessin you didn't hear about what Freddie did, did ya?"_ Kevin asks.

"Huh, is there somethin I wasn't told about?" Berner asks before Thomas' SUV zooms by with Ol' Chomps in tow!

"RELEASE HIM, SARAH!" Thomas instructs, and Sarah leaps out onto Ol' Chomps. Kyle stops pouring water onto Ol' Chomps and drops back inside Thomas' SUV as Sarah undoes the chains and shackles holding the huge fish in place. Ol' Chomps growls as he is freed, and he lashes out at Sarah as she jumps off the cart . Becky comes and helps Sarah up.

"LET'S BACK UP!" Becky leads Sarah to safety as Ol' Chomps ROARS and uses his pectoral fins to leap off Thomas' cart and down through a Drupe-made hole into the sewer waters. Paul and Dave quickly climb out of the sewer before Ol' Chomps reaches them. Ol' Chomps passes the manhole they went up through, but another Drupe is less fortunate. He loses his butt to Ol' Chomps before making it out.

_"Shit, man."_ the Drupe curses upon looking at his chomped butt. Ol' Chomps then lunges out through another hole blown through the street to CHOMP onto an excavator's tracks, terrifying its bug-eyed operator and he runs out SCREAMING like a girl! Nearby workers also run screaming as Ol' Chomps pulls the doomed excavator down into the sewers!

"OH MY GOD! THAT IS A DEINOGNATHUS!" Jenna screams in terror, and a freaked-out Kevin tells Berner to_ "Hop on! We'll tell ya about Freddie at a safer spot!"_

* * *

Meanwhile, the Eds are almost at Peach Creek. Eddy tells Ed to "Call somebody to have em tell everyone we're comin."

Ed takes out his cellphone to call May: "May! may, can you hear me?"

"Yeah!" May answers as she rides in the back of the pickup truck with Marie.

_"We're comin off the highway right now!_ Freddie's right behind us!" Ed explains as the Eds turn onto the Peach Creek exit, Freddie and his remaining two henchmen SUVs following them.

_"Ok! I'll tell Lee to get over there!"_ May replies, and she tells Lee "THE EDS ARE GETTIN OFF THE HIGHWAY RIGHT NOW!"

Eddy steers through the streets, avoiding Drupe-made holes and Urban Rangers popping up everywhere: "Jesus Christ! May could've at least told us what everyone was planning!"

"It seems Rolf rallied Urban Rangers from towns far and wide to our cause!" Double-D analyzes. A Drupe jumps out of their way, to which Ed comments "The Drupes are here, too!"

Freddie bumps the Eds from behind, then again. He cackles sinisterly, but then he looks to his left to see his three nieces turn onto the street and catch up to him!

"HIYA, UNCLE FREDDIE!" May waves as she and her sisters catch up. She and Marie then shoot rubber-cement at the two henchmen SUVs' wheels to clog them and make the SUVs spin out. Freddie sees them crash into houses via his rear-view mirror, and as Lee drives up to Freddie to parallel him and allow her sisters to clog his wheels...

"YOU AIN'T STOPPIN ME, GIRLS!" Freddie bumps Ursula's truck before his neices can shoot his wheels.

"AGH!" Lee regains control of the truck, only to get bumped again by Freddie, and May & Marie fall off. Lee growls angrily.

"He's going to bump Lee off the road!" Double-D tells his fellow Eds.

_"Take this, Sockhead."_ Eddy gives the copied history pages to Double-D before putting him on the wheel. Eddy climbs atop their SUV and leaps onto the hood of Ursula's truck as it gets bumped again.

"EDDY!" Lee shouts in surprise. Eddy tells her to "GIMME YER SQUIRT-GUN!"

Lee gives her squirt-gun to Eddy just as Freddie bumps them off the street, but the moment after he does so, Eddy hangs onto the truck's side to fire rubber-cement in slow-motion into Freddie's left-front wheel!

_"No, NOOO!"_ Freddie screams as he loses control of his car. It hits a fire hydrant and goes airborne, flipping over Roger and James, bouncing off a loader, flying through a tree, and barreling past Tabby & Nikki. Freddie's car then rolls through a few houses before finally coming to rest on Main Street, in front of the firehouse.

_"Oh, my aching..."_ Freddie utters before seeing Noah's tractor dropping down towards his car like a monster truck, having gotten airborne somehow.

"YAAAAAAHHH!" Noah and Ursula yell as the tractor drops down, and Freddie squeezes his way out of his totaled car before it gets completely crushed under the tractor's spiked wheels!

_"Hey, that's the foul businessman Frederick!"_ Noah recognizes Freddie, and Ursula gives him a cold glare.

_"Ursula?"_ Freddie recognizes Ursula as he tries getting up.

_"And to think you had the nerve to call ME the black sheep of our family when we were kids."_ Ursula leaps off the tractor and approaches Freddie as he slowly gets up. "Your ass is mine, big bro."

_"Count us in too, sista."_ Gladys says, cracking her knuckles as she and Angela join Ursula. Ursula swings her anchor like a ball-&-chain and flings it at Freddie, but he dodges to the side and ducks to avoid Angela's fists and throw her back. He dodges again to avoid Gladys' stomp and her subsequent punches, only to get kicked hard in the nuts by Angela, then he's flung into the air by Ursula's grappling hooks and slammed down hard. Ursula, Angela and Gladys all jump into the air and down towards him.

"GYAAH!" Freddie rolls to avoid the three angry womens' simultaneous attack, which creates a huge explosion of dust, smoke and debris. Freddie gets up and runs down Main Street to escape them, dodging Roger's arms while doing so. what he sees next horrifies him...

_Ed and Double-D reached Mayor Berner, with Kevin and Jenna, in front of the candy shop!_

"Here they are, Mayor sir." Double-D gives Berner the copied history pages, then Jenna points Kevin to Freddie. Freddie then sees Roger, Gladys, Angela, Ursula, Nikki, Rachel & the goths, Rolf, the Vorliks, some Urban Rangers, Zoe (still inside the wrecking crane), Thomas, Laurie (holding Kenny), Jimmy & his parents, Stan, Sarah, Kyle, Becky, Peter, Tabby, Jenna's parents, Paul & his parents, Dave & some Drupes, Captain Melonhead, Honey Dew & the Ludgates, the Kanker Sisters, and Eddy, ALL approaching him from different directions while Berner reads the pages. He finishes reading...

_"Freddie Kanker, I cannot believe that you, of all people, would sink so low as to alter history to achieve false ownership of this town."_

_"Wait, Mayor Berner! You must let me explain the whole story!"_ Freddie begs, starting to sweat.

"There's nothing left to be explained." Nikki says. "My husband called the federal police, _and they're on their way here right now."_

_"YEAH, GAME OVER!"_ Dean (yes, DEAN) shouts, surprising everybody! Rolf asks "Did the strong silent goth boy just speak?"

"Yeah, and I agree with him. IT'S MELON TIME!" Melonhead aims his Splinter staff at Freddie, and he along with everyone else starts moving towards Freddie. Zoe giggles as she moves the wrecking crane towards Freddie with everyone. Freddie starts backing away while sweating!

_"W-Wait, everyone! Please! let me explain! I... I've been framed and- WHOA!"_ Freddie almost falls into another Drupe-made hole in the street while backing away. And thanks to the hole, he's cornered, so he finallly yells:_ "ALRIGHT, YOU GOT ME! I ADMIT IT! I TRIED TURNING THIS LAND BACK INTO KANKER-OWNED PROPERTY SO I CAN ACHIEVE MY OWN SELF-GRATIFICATION! SO I CAN BECOME RICH OFF THE WOULD-BE NEW ECONO INDUSTRIAL FACILITY! THAT WAS MY PLAN!" Freddie then looks at the Eds: "AND I WOULD'VE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT TOO IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU MEDDLING-"_

_Ol' Chomps pops up from the hole behind Freddie and RRROOOAAARRRSSS! Freddie turns around, sees Ol' Chomps, and SCREAMS as Ol' Chomps slams his jaws down onto him and through the concrete he was standing on!_

_"WHOA, I did NOT see that one coming!"_ Eddy shouts in surprise, and Ursula yells "I'M COMIN, FREDDIE!"

"MOM, THAT THING WILL KILL YOU, TOO!" Lee yells, and Marie adds "AND WHY RESCUE FREDDIE AFTER EVERYTHIN HE DID?"

_"HE MAY BE A HORRIBLE MAN, BUT HE'S STILL MY BROTHER!"_ Ursula answers before diving into the sewers.

_"Ok, while Ms. Kanker goes to get Freddie, LET'S CHEER FOR ED, EDD N EDDY FOR BRINGIN HIM DOWN AND SAVING PEACH CREEK! WHOOOO!"_ Honey Dew cheers.

"YEAH, WWWHHHOOOOOOOO!" everyone starts cheering for the Eds and throw them up-&-down.

* * *

Later, we see newspaper pictures of the Eds being thrown up-&-down by everyone, the Eds receiving medals, Ol' Chomps being re-captured by the adults and put back into Thomas' cart, Ursula emerging from Ol' Chomps' mouth with Freddie whose clothes were partially digested by the fish's stomach acids, Freddie's butt being shown to have been bitten off by Ol' Chomps (like the Drupe earlier), Double-D reuniting with his parents as the federal police arrive to arrest Freddie, Freddie being handcuffed by the federal police while the teens & adults watch, and Freddie being taken away in one of the police cars.

* * *

A few days after Freddie's arrest, Peach Creek returns to normal business. That means that the Eds and their friends are finally graduating from high school!

In the PCH auditorium, we hear the song "My Wish" by Rascal Flatts playing in the background as the PCH seniors take their seats. The boys are wearing blue while the girls wear orange. We see the teens' families all in attendance, including Nazz's father Gerald. He has a mop-top of blond hair (which Nazz inherited), and he wears a blue-&-white-lined button shirt with long sleeves. Erin and Marian are also among Nazz's attending relatives.

We see a montage of people taking pictures of Nazz during her salutation, Principal Antonucci's and Mayor Berner's congratulatory speeches, a few more speeches, and Double-D's valediction.

After the speeches, we see the school choir singing the choral lyrics of "My Wish," their graduation song. The choir includes Nazz, Jenna, Rachel and Sean. The choir's singing continues to be heard in the background during a montage of the seniors, though only the main teens and some recurring minor ones are shown, being called up for their diplomas in alphabetical order of their surnames:

_"Edwin Horace Christensen."_ Ed is called up and he takes his diploma. His friends and family cheer. Double-D, Eddy and May SCREAM his name, and Sarah screams "WHOOO! BIG BROTHER!"

_"Kevin William Dorn."_ Kevin is called up and he takes his diploma. His friends cheer wildly, especially Jenna who repeatedly screams "KEVVIE," and Peter cheers along with Kevin's few attending relatives.

_"Christine Erickson."_ Christine is called up and takes her diploma. Her family isn't shown, but they and her friends are heard cheering. Nazz, Jenna, the other cheerleader girls, and Steve cheer especially loud!

_"William Fisher III."_ Bill is called up and takes his diploma. His family isn't shown, but they and his friends are heard cheering.

_"Jennifer Marcela Flores."_ Jenna is called up and takes her diploma. Her family and friends cheer wildly, and Nazz & Kevin SCREAM her name!

_"Eddward Marian Hart."_ Double-D is called up and takes his diploma. His family and friends cheer wildly, especially his fellow Eds and Marie who scream "DOUBLE-DEEEEEE!"

_"Sheranne Letoya Johnson."_ Sheranne is called up and takes her diploma. Her family isn't shown, but they and her friends are heard cheering, especially Nazz, Jenna, the other cheerleaders, and Paul!

_"Leah Belle Kanker-Hughes."_ Lee is called up and takes her diploma. Eddy, Rachel, her sisters, and Ursula cheer wildly!

_"Marie Nicole Kanker-Robbins."_ Marie is called up and takes her diploma. Double-D, Rachel, her maternal sisters, her paternal siblings from "My Ed For You," and Ursula cheer wildly!

_"May Elizabeth Kanker-Turner."_ May is called up and takes her diploma. Ed, Rachel, her sisters, and Ursula cheer wildly!

_"Jonathan Ludgate."_ Jonny is called up and takes his diploma. His family and friends cheer wildly, especially Nazz!

_"Eddy Skipper McGee."_ Eddy is called up and takes his diploma. His friends and family cheer, especially his fellow Eds and Lee!

_"Rachel Ann Owens."_ Rachel, wearing pink lipstick, is called up and takes her diploma. Her friends, family and Ursula cheer, and Paul shouts "RAY RAAAYYY!"

_"Dean Petillo."_ Dean is called up and takes his diploma. His family isn't shown, but they and his friends are heard cheering.

_"Tracy Raymond."_ Tracy is called up and takes her diploma. Her family isn't shown, but they and her friends are heard cheering, including Paul since they used to date.

_"Steven Sandersen Jr."_ Steve is called up and takes his diploma. His family isn't shown, bu they and his friends are heard cheering, especially Kevin, the other jocks, and Christine!

_"Paul Elijah Stewart."_ Paul is called up and takes his diploma. His friends and family cheer wildly, and Rachel is shown smiling!

_"Sean Bartholomew Sullivan."_ Sean is called up and takes his diploma. His family isn't shown, but they and his friends are heard cheering.

_"Nazzarine Arielle Van Bartonshmeer."_ Nazz is called up and takes her diploma. Her family and friends cheer wildly, especially Jonny and Jenna! Gerald honks an air-horn repeatedly as he cheers for his daughter!

_"Rolf Vorlik."_ Rolf is called up and takes his diploma. His family and friends cheer wildly, including Nell (Rolf's fiance from "Betroth-Ed") who came with his family to watch the ceremony!

"Wait, what are we here for, again?" Nano asks after forgetting why he, the other Vorliks, and Nell are attending. Then, after the last few graduates get their diplomas, Antonucci steps up to the podium again:

_"Ladies and gentlemen, give a round of applause to the Peach Creek High School Class of 2010!"_

Everybody CHEERS, and the graduates throw their caps (and Plank) into the air! They then march out of the auditorium and into the school's entrance hall.

_"WE MADE IT!"_ the Eds exclaim simultaneously in a group-hug, and all the graduates start hugging as their families come out of the auditorium as well.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S OVER EITHER, BUDDY!" Jonny replies to Plank, and Nazz hugs him from behind. Kevin hugs Jenna.

"CLASS OF O' TEN, DAWGS!" Rolf exclaims. Nazz and Jenna hug each other, the Kankers hug the Eds, the boys are doing all sorts of handshakes and body-bumps, and Paul gets grabbed by the wrist from behind by Rachel's arm.

_"Come here, Paulie!"_ Rachel pulls Paul in, and plants a big fat KISS on his cheek! Paul's eyes bug out as Rachel kisses him, and when she finishes, Paul loses his ability to stand and falls back onto the floor with a wide smile, heart-shaped eyes, and a pink kiss mark on his cheek!

"You ok, man?" Kevin asks Paul, who dreamily answers _"I'm cool, cuz an angel kissed me and I'm in heaven right now!"_

Rachel giggles at Paul, then gets hugged from behind by the Kankers. They go to hug and kiss their families along with all the other graduates. Nell kisses Rolf, Sarah kisses Ed, then all the main teens gather for a picture together.

_"Say 'o-ten!'"_ Erin tells them. They shout "O' TEN," and Erin takes the photo!

* * *

Double-D is holding a copy of this picture the next evening at his bedroom desk. Marie enters: "Hey, pumpkin! Why ain't cha at Eddy's grad party yet?"

"Sorry, I got carried away with reminiscing." Double-D answers, slipping the photo he's holding into a photo album, which contains numerous pictures of him with his friends. "It's difficult for me to fathom how quickly the years flew by."

"I know. Remember when ya always used to run from me?" Marie asks with a giggle.

"Yeah, but now... _we're soulmates!"_ Double-D looks through his album of his pictures with Marie. The pics include them embracing in the falling autumn leaves shortly after "My Ed For You," Double-D having dinner with the Kankers, Double-D and Marie holding each other in her living room during Christmas morning, Double-D and Marie running together on treadmills during phys-ed class (Double-D is falling off due to his scrawniness), Double-D showing Marie his lab, their dance pics from "Lovey Dovey Lugaboo," Double-D giving Marie her first cheek kiss in the lane during springtime, Marie cuddling on Double-D on his sofa, a tanktop-wearing Double-D nervously being grinded on by a hooded Marie (whose hoodie was also open to reveal a black belly-shirt and undone pants) at the nightclub, their pic with Rachel at Nazz's party during "Here Today, Ed Tomorrow," several pics of them with the others at Mondo-A-GoGo during "Nine to Ed," and lastly their senior prom pics, in which Double-D wore a black-&-purple tux while Marie wore a purple dress with her hair undyed (meaning she had her original brown hair) and done into an exqquisite bun.

"Let's add another pic to this album: _my new bellybutton ring!"_ Marie shows her new bellybutton ring. It resembles her old one in being heart-shaped, but it also has a stylized "E & M" (representing her and Double-D's names) etched into it. She explains "I got it to symbolize our love."

"It's, very nice!" Double-D takes a pic of Marie's bellybutton ring. "Another memory added... Oh boy, I'm..._ I'm gonna miss you, Marie, once I start college."_

_"Ohh, I'll miss you too."_ Marie lifts Double-D to hug him. He hugs her back: "That's why I selected a song for you to remember me by once I go."

"Really?" Marie asks. Double-D answers "Yes" and puts an i-pod into her ears.

_"I selected this song for you... darling!"_ Double-D plays the song "Smile" by Uncle Kracker! As Marie listens to it, she smiles and hugs Double-D.

_"You make me smile! Thank you... darling!"_ she thanks while calling Double-D the same thing he called her. They kiss, and tell each other...

_"I love you!"_

* * *

Eddy's graduation party is taking place in his backyard, and all the main teens & kids are there. Kyle is playing his guitar while sitting on the porch railing while Sarah listens from the porch table. Rolf serves himself some barbecued food while Rachel and Paul talk to each other at one of the yard's corners. And while Nazz & Jonny, Eddy & Lee, Jimmy & Zoe, and Kevin & Jenna dance, May sits on the porch, looking depressed. Ed comes and asks her "You ok?"

"Yeah._ I just wish Daddy was still alive to see me graduate."_ May says, shedding a tear.

"Don't worry. _I think he would be proud you came this far!"_ Ed comforts May, who hugs and kisses him.

"Thank you for telling me that!" May thanks Ed, who replies "Of course, it's my job as your boyfriend! Hehe! Rest in peace, whatever your dad's name was."

A tired Kevin crawls to Eddy and Rolf as they eat barbecue. Eddy jokingly asks "What's wrong? Is Jenn too much for ya?"

_"She just... doesn't... run out of steam, dude."_ Kevin answers while sweating in exhaustion, but Jenna's arm reaches for and grabs him by his hat.

_"Get your ass back here and dance with me, boy!"_ Jenna pulls Kevin back to her so she can have her way with him.

"Have fun with Jenn girl, Kevin!" Rolf shouts.

"You havin fun, Jimmy? Cuz I'm havin fun! How bout you?" Zoe asks Jimmy, who answers "Yes, but can we please stop dancing now? You had us dance since we came here."

"Nonsense. _Become one with your inner freak like me, and you'll be dancin all night!"_ Zoe tells Jimmy as she twirls him. Eddy and Lee watch Zoe spin Jimmy around cartoon-style.

"Boy are they havin a good time!" Lee comments.

"Yeah, and they better enjoy every moment of their youth like that til they graduate from high school." Eddy says. "Speakin of which, I can't even picture how crazy Zoe will be when she hits her teens."

"I wished we got crazy like that as kids." Lee laments, but Eddy reminds her "That's you and your sisters' faults for scarin the shit outta me and the boys back then. But still... I'm glad I got to know you a little better."

"A _'little'_ better?" Lee knees Eddy's face in, making him correct himself after fixing his face: _"Ok, a LOT better! Happy now?"_

_"Hey hey, look who finally decided to come!"_ Rachel looks at Double-D and Marie coming. Zoe yells "MOST WICKED! EVERYONE'S HERE!"

_"And just in time for the closing number!"_ Sarah adds.

"Closing number?" Jonny asks, and Nazz answers "Yeah, because this is the end of the series!"

_"Yes, I'd really enjoy a good closing number after twenty episodes, three specials and an hour-long finale!"_ Double-D exclaims.

_"Alrighty, then!"_ Kyle starts playing the EEnE theme on his guitar, and starts whistling. Sarah starts whistling, then May and Ed.

_"Altogether, ya'll!"_ Paul rallies everyone to whistle as he starts doing it. One by one, everyone starts whistling to the lengthened EEnE theme as they gather together in the middle of Eddy's backyard. From there, they whistle out onto the street.

_"EVERYBODY CLAP YOUR HANDS!"_ Ed yells, and everyone except Kyle (due to playing his guitar) starts clapping their hands as they whistle and march down the street, with the Eds up front. They continue whistling and clapping to Kyle's EEnE beat as they march through the neighborhood, and as they do so, we hear the Eds' voices:

_"Well, this is it. Our final remaining months with each other begin now."_ Double-D's voice says.

_"Yep, our last summer together."_ Ed's voice says in a sad tone. _"I'm gonna miss you guys."_

_"Me too."_ Eddy's voice says. _"And that's why we gotta make this last summer before we split the BEST SUMMER EVER!"_

_"YEAH!"_ Ed's and Double-D's voices shout excitedly...

_And as the Eds and their friends disappear into the sunset over the horizon, they finally finish the EEnE beat with..._

_**"ED, EDD N EDDY!"**_

_**The End!**_

* * *

And there you have it, folks. Ed, Edd n Eddy: The Teen Series has officially come to a bittersweet end. In your final reviews, I want to hear EVERYTHING you liked about the series, from its aspects, to what you learned from it, and what you think of it as a whole!

BUT... Just because the Teen Series is over does NOT mean I'm leaving this site for good. I'm just retired from fanfiction writing, and I'm now putting my efforts into getting a job, preparing for my semester at college, and planning my own comic/cartoon series for the future. So I'll still visit this site every few days (or weeks) to keep in touch with you guys and read fics. I'll also still be submitting Teen Series art on deviantArt. If you want help or advice on your own fics, you can PM me. You can even write your own Teen Series-based fics if you like, and a few already got my permission to do so! However, there are some conditions that must be met if you plan on writing one, and I will explain these conditions tomorrow when I update my profile.

But for now, it's time for me to go. I'll see you guys around, and I wish you all the best of luck in your future endeavors! Easymac120 logging off.


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